Beyond The Walls
by MetalPrincess13
Summary: When Tracey finds out about Gary returning to Pallet he has no idea what to expect. He finds himself wanting to be closer to Gary and he's willing to fight to find out who Gary really is, unfortunately this is harder than it seems as relationships change.
1. Chapter 1: The Arrival

**Beyond The Walls **

Summary: When Tracey finds out that Gary is returning to Pallet, he has no idea what to expect. He finds himself wanting to be closer to Gary and he's willing to fight through the walls to get to see who Gary really is.

Rated M for alcohol, sexuality (some slash, some het.), cutting, mentions of suicide

Disclaimer – I own the storyline, the OCs, my interpretation of the characters, and nothing else.

::NOTE – this is by far the worst (and shortest) chapter in the story, just serving as a starting point to briefly introduce the characters. Please don't base judgment off of this chapter.::

Chapter 1: The Arrival

When Tracey heard that Gary was coming back to Pallet for good, he didn't know what to expect. He'd briefly met the boy only a few times over the years and had gotten the same impression each time: arrogant, intelligent and incredibly good-looking. Tracey hadn't seen him in years, his grandfather, who occasionally spoke to him on the phone, had seen him only a few times since he had left for research and then for school. His sister May, on the other hand, spoke to him nearly daily; it was her who delivered the news that he was returning home for an indefinite amount of time. Professor Oak seemed happy and surprised upon hearing the news of his grandson's impending arrival from the Sinnoh region following several years of college and researching pokemon.

"Usually he just shows up for a few days without warning," the professor said to Tracey, "It'll be nice to have him back for more than a day or two. May will certainly be excited the next few days."

And he was right, the nineteen-year-old woman was buzzing with excitement the morning when Gary was to arrive and had invited over her five closest friends with whom Tracey had become well acquainted in the several years he had stayed with the Oaks. Tracey was shocked when he walked into the sitting room around noon to find the six girls laughing and talking about something having to do with the Indigo Plateau. Confused, Tracey inquired and was surprised to find out that all six girls had traveled with Gary early on his journey as a pokemon trainer throughout the Kanto region.

"I have to admit, I really don't know anything about Gary. I don't know what to expect when he gets here," Tracey said nervously.

"Well you must not know him if you're not calling him an asshole." Michelle said with a smile as the other girls laughed at her remark. Tracey couldn't help but feel nervous when she said this, athletic Michelle had befriended Tracey quickly when he became Professor Oak's assistant and he had never heard her say anything negative about another person.

"The thing you have to know about Gary is that he values honesty," May spoke up, "just be yourself, Trace. You two will get along fine, I'm sure. Just don't be too surprised if he's a bit cold to you."

For the next few hours, Tracey sat in the sitting room with the girls, sketching them as they reminisced about their travels with Gary. Tracey soon concluded that May's close friends were also Gary's close friends; not entirely surprising, Tracey supposed, considering Gary and May were only two years apart and the other girls ranged in age from Kate at seventeen, Gary's age, to May at nineteen. Most of the girls seemed to be close to the seventeen year old boy that Tracey hardly knew; crazy punk Anna seemed to be his partner in crime, despite Anna being a year and a half older than Gary. Michelle described to Tracey pranks that Anna and Gary had pulled on the others and May insinuated that the two were intimate on many occasions. Kate was only a few months older than Gary and was the only trainer out of all of the girls. Tracey suspected that she had a crush on Gary and felt sorry for her if it were true because sweet Kate with her wonderful giving personality, so much like May's, seemed so incredibly different from Anna's wild streak that he couldn't see how Kate would stand a chance with Gary while he had an insane best friend like Anna. Anna's prim twin sister Rachael was a musician who studied music in college; from what Tracey deduced from the conversations, Gary played several instruments and the two enjoyed sharing their knowledge and musical abilities. Only athletic Michelle, who had become Tracey's best friend, and beautiful, mysterious Bella, who was May's best friend, seemed as though they were not very close with Gary, despite being good friends with his sister.

It was when May and Rachael were telling Tracey and the other girls about a piano-playing contest that Gary had defeated the two girls in that Tracey heard the sound of a car pulling into the garage.

Bella smiled, "Sounds like he hasn't crashed the Camaro yet." She said with a soft laugh.

"There's a surprise," Kate replied with a grin.

Anna jumped to her feet with her waist-length black and green streaked hair whipping Tracey's face and ran to greet her friend. May grinned and said "I know what's coming now," as she stood and walked to the entrance to the room.

The other girls smiled at each other as they heard a door open and a male voice suddenly speak. "You go on first, Umbreon. Don't give me that look, you can bite Anna's ankle if she scares you that badly."

"You bastard, how did you know?" Anna's voice demanded from the corridor as the other girls got up and walked to the hall.

"Nice to see you too. I know you too well." Gary replied to the girl as he walked down the hallway with his haughty Umbreon in front of him. "Hey, ladies!" He called when he saw the girls waiting on him.

Tracey watched Gary and May embrace in the entrance before Gary hugged each of the other girls. He paused at Kate as she kissed him gently on the cheek. "I missed you," she said softly.

"I missed you too," Gary said with a smile before he turned to Anna and gave her a tight squeeze. "I missed you, you psychotic bitch." He said with a laugh as she playfully punched his shoulder and kissed him quickly on the lips.

The auburn-haired boy suddenly noticed Tracey and grinned, "I figured Grandpa would have you down in the lab helping him. Been a long time, huh Trace?"

Tracey returned the grin, "The professor's working on a report on pidgey populations between here and Viridian City he doesn't want anyone else in the lab."

Gary simply nodded in acknowledgement before turning to catch up with the girls while Tracey simply watched. Gary had changed quite a bit since Tracey had last seen him, nearly two years ago when the younger boy was only fifteen. He was several inches taller now and more muscular, he had grown out his hair, which now reached just past his shoulders.

'But he still looks the same over all,' Tracey thought to himself, admiring the way Gary laughed and talked with the girls. 'He's still got those piercing eyes and those incredible lips." He found himself thinking and suddenly imagined him suddenly kissing those lips that were currently smirking at May as Gary teased her about something.

Michelle came and sat next to Tracey on the couch a few minutes later with Gary's Umbreon at her side. "Don't worry," she said with a small smile, "he just doesn't know you yet. I think you two will get along fine in time."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess so," Tracey said, watching as Gary playfully flirted with Anna and Rachael.

Michelle followed Tracey's gaze and wondered whether he was watching the two sisters or the attractive boy that was joking with them. 'Sometimes I wonder about Tracey,' she thought to herself as she idly scratched Umbreon's ears, 'sometimes I'm pretty sure that there's something going on in his mind that doesn't involve girls.'

--- --- ---


	2. Chapter 2: Observations

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 2: Observations

It was now nearly two weeks since Gary's arrival and Tracey saw that he wasn't the arrogant teenager that Tracey had thought he was the first few times they had met and Tracey had seen several different sides to Gary that he was sure few people saw.

Tracey had watched from the kitchen as Gary had eagerly grabbed Anna's hand and ran up the stairs with her, his voice carrying as their footsteps echoed, "Come on, I got a new Schechter in drop D, I can play Dimmu Borgir now!" For the rest of the day, Tracey, May, and Professor Oak could hear the two teens upstairs as they listened to heavy metal bands that Tracey had never heard of and playing guitar and bass loudly. May had explained to Tracey that Gary had been playing piano since he was a young child, "Mom and Dad began to teach us before they died." She had said. She told him how her brother began playing cello after their father's instrument had been passed on after he died when Gary was seven. She told him how Gary had taught himself guitar and bass and how he studied music in his spare time, often using Rachael's old text books after she was done with them.

Tracey had watched from the window of his bedroom as Gary and Kate lay in the grass by the lake in the sprawling yard, playing with their pokemon while the late afternoon sun slowly began to fade.

He had watched from a hill as the Kate laid with her head on Gary's lap as he sat against a maple tree, both teens reading books in the late morning sun while thunder rumbled in the distance and Gary's fingers idly played with Kate's red hair.

He had watched Rachael and Gary sit in the living room with Rachael's violin and Gary's cello laying on the couches as the two sat cross-legged on the floor with several books laid before them and one of Gary's many guitars sitting in his lap. He had watched as Gary suddenly laughed and played something atonal on the guitar, saying something about a band that Anna liked. Rachael had sighed loudly and put her hand over the fret board, scolding "Can you _please_ play something in key?" Gary had smiled at her and began to play a melancholic melody while Rachael flipped through pages of sheet music.

He had listened as a depressing melody played on piano drifted down into the sitting room where May and Bella were chatting over tea. May had smiled sadly at Tracey and explained, "Lacrimosa, it's part of Mozart's Requiem." Tracey watched her exchange a worried look with Bella before murmuring, "It's a foreboding song when Gary plays it." Tracey didn't understand what May had meant but Bella did and hugged May tightly before telling her to call her later on and leaving.

Tracey had watched from the hallway as Gary stood in the kitchen with his back to him in an Iron Maiden hoodie that Tracey had seen him wear several times. May was talking quietly with him and Tracey watched her reach for the ends of Gary's sleeves before he pulled back and crossed his arms silently. "I wish you wouldn't do this, Gary." May had said, barely audible before walking out of the room. Gary had sighed loudly and leaned against the kitchen counter facing the far wall, near the entrance to the room. His face was pale and his hands trembled slightly as he ran them through his auburn hair.

Tracey had watched Gary walk confidently and casually through the house, wearing a long-sleeved shirt every day. Tracey saw him roll the sleeves up once, showing Anna something. Anna had kissed his forearms gently before pulling a bottle of vodka out of a dresser drawer in a dark room and poured them each a glass. Anna had knocked back her large shot quickly while Gary moodily contemplated his glass before taking a long sip with his blue eyes closed.

Tracey had watched the next morning as May walked into a bathroom with a glass of water and bottle of pills. Gary had sat against the wall near the toilet with his eyes closed and his long fingers rubbing his temples. He was pale and was wearing the hoodie again. He vomited several times while May rubbed his back and spoke quietly. May had walked past Tracey in the hallway and said quietly, "Anna's his best friend yet is the one that constantly destroys the brother that I love so much." Tracey had hugged her, sensing her sadness even though he didn't understand what May was talking about. Gary had followed her into the sitting room and hugged her while she cried. He had spoken softly to her, saying words only she could hear. As Tracey walked past the room he heard Gary promise not to go with Anna that day.

Then Tracey had seen Anna walk up to Gary as he walked solitarily amongst the trees at the edge of the forest surrounding the yard. He'd watched them passionately kiss for several minutes before Anna lead him deeper into the trees as she pulled her cut up Megadeth shirt over her head.

Tracey had spoken with Gary only a few times since he had arrived at his grandfather's house and each time was trivial: Gary asking if Tracey had seen May, Tracey asking if Gary had any books on eevees, Gary asking Tracey what he and the professor had done in the lab that day, Tracey asking if the rain had let up outside. Tracey had realized that Gary's guard was never down when he knew Tracey was there and he wondered what it would take for Gary to let it down around him. Tracey realized that he wanted nothing more than to kiss Gary the way Anna had, to lay in the grass with Gary the way Kate had, to have Gary knowingly show Tracey the real Gary like he had shown May.

Tracey longed to be considered Gary's friend, longed to be allowed to see what really went on in the seventeen-year-olds mind. He decided to talk to May about it.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

The atonal melody that Tracey sees Gary play when he's with Rachael is Slayer's Raining Blood (which Gary doesn't like), the melancholic melody he plays afterwards is Iced Earth's Watching Over Me.


	3. Chapter 3: Discussions

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 3: Discussions

"I like your brother." Tracey blurted out before turning red, not meaning to have come out and say it like that.

Tracey was sitting on May's bed as May sat in front of a white vanity table, painting her toenails. May laughed and looked up at Tracey. "He certainly is charming," she said sarcastically.

Tracey groaned and leaned back against the headboard of May's large bed. "Pity he's straight," he muttered.

May laughed again. "Don't be quick to assume things about my brother. He's very secretive, you never know what he's thinking," she said, looking Tracey in the eyes. "Or who he's thinking of." Her blue eyes, so much like the ones Tracey longed to be staring into, pierced his brown ones.

Tracey frowned, remembering the way he had seen Anna and Gary kiss amongst the trees. "Are you saying he's bisexual?"

May shook her head. "I've never talked to Gary about anything like that, as far as I know, he's straight as a board. I'm just saying that he doesn't trust most people enough to see who he really is. None of us know everything about Gary, he could be gayer than anyone I know and could be secretly wearing lacy panties under his jeans for all I know." There was something in her eyes that seemed oddly like suspicion that confused Tracey, he sighed loudly and ran his hands through his black hair. "I take it you want to get to know him better?" May asked.

Tracey nodded. "Just talk to him about something you two have in common. Pokemon, art, my grandfather, traveling. Anything. He'll talk to you, it'll take some time but he'll loosen up around you." May said, screwing the top onto her bottle of nail polish.

"Gary's into art?" Tracey asked as he took in everything May had just said.

May shook her head. "You've seen the arcanine painting in the lab, right?"

Tracey nodded slowly, thinking of the painting he had often admired: an arcanine leaping from the flames of a huge burning fire. "He painted that. A few years ago, it's supposed to be an arcanine leaping out of the depths of Hell." May sighed suddenly. "I always figured it was supposed to be some sort of symbol. Like, Gary wanting to escape something. Anyway, that's a different story."

--- --- ---

Later that day, Tracey walked gloomily through the halls of the large house, trying to find something to keep his bored mind occupied. As he turned a corner on the second floor, he suddenly found himself face to face with Gary. He was pale and looked tired but Tracey didn't notice, seizing the opportunity, he began talking.

"May told me that you painted that arcanine picture in the lab." Tracey silently cursed himself for not thinking of something better to say.

Gary smiled slightly at Tracey's sudden outburst. "What's your point?" He asked softly, tilting his head to one side.

Tracey felt a bit relieved. Gary wasn't speaking to him in a careless manner like he had the other times, this time he spoke with a quiet curiosity. Tracey pushed on, "I didn't know you painted. It's a great painting."

Gary suddenly turned and walked to a door a few feet down the hall and opened it. "Come on." He said simply to Tracey.

Whatever Tracey was expecting from this conversation, it certainly wasn't a sudden invitation into Gary's bedroom. Tracey simply gaped at the massive room which was so much larger than even May's spacious room. The walls were deep red and a large canopy bed with black drapes casually thrown open, revealing a monochromatic bed set, was on the far wall facing the door. A black piano sat near the door with a book open to a page filled with what appeared to be a complex melody, on top of the piano was a black and white framed photograph of a young couple with a young boy and slightly older girl who were happily smiling. Tracey couldn't help but feel shocked when he realized that this was a picture of Gary, May, and their parents. A polished cello sat beside the piano, its bow laid artistically on the piano bench. A large desk sat opposite the piano, with only a laptop computer and several tall stacks of notebooks. Along the walls were many paintings, many of people, some of pokemon. Lying in the middle of the floor was Gary's arcanine, sunning itself in front of the large windows open to the afternoon sunlight.

Gary smiled while he watched Tracey gape at the huge room. "It used to be two rooms. Actually it used to be a study but my grandfather turned it into a play room when May and I were little and then I just kind of took it over." He explained softly.

Tracey glanced at the younger boy. "Is this the where you and Anna always play guitar?"

"No. Call me paranoid, but I always worry the force from the amps would knock down some of the paintings. I worked too hard on those to let Anna's carelessness with volume damage the canvas. You understand how it is, with your sketches, I'm sure." Gary moved the cello bow carefully and gracefully sat down at the piano. "You're allowed to look around, you know. It's not like I'll kick you out." He added as he idly played a fast and haunting sounding melody that Tracey vaguely recalled Rachael and May listening to on the stereo in the living room.

"What song is that?" Tracey asked out of curiosity.

"Winter by Vivaldi. It's the violin part at the beginning; it sounds strange on piano though. Rachael can play it on violin." Gary said, letting his hands drop from the keys as he looked at Tracey who was now standing next to him.

"I'm not very familiar with classical music." Tracey admitted, forgetting about the paintings that he had originally come into the room to see. He wondered if Gary had purposely distracted him.

Gary laughed. "I'm sure you know this," he said playing only four powerful notes.

Tracey nodded; he had heard May play the famous composure many times in the few years that he had lived in the house. "Beethoven," he replied, suddenly eager to impress the boy sitting before him at the small piano.

Gary nodded, "Beethoven's fifth symphony in C minor, May likes to play it a lot. You've probably heard her try to play this too," he said, gesturing to the open music book and began to play a chilling melody.

Tracey nodded. "A few days ago she was complaining that she would never be able to play it like you do. I don't know it though," he admitted.

Gary chuckled softly, a sound that made Tracey want to do nothing more than pull him to that enormous bed across the room from them. "Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor." He said softly, "My father taught me it when I was young, or at least tried to. I didn't learn it properly until a few years ago." He sighed wearily as his fingers fell into one final chord before standing up. "You didn't come in here to listen to me play piano though." He walked over to the large fire dog and knelt down to scratch its large ears.

Tracey forced himself to tear his eyes away from Gary and looked at some of the paintings on the wall closest to him. "When did you start painting?" He asked, looking at a painting of a girl with strawberry blonde hair wearing a clingy black dress and playing a violin. Music notes swirled in the air around her while she closed her eyes and appeared to be at peace. Tracey recognized the girl as Rachael.

"Only a few years ago. I got bored one day and bought some paint and a canvas. Luckily I didn't suck. My mother used to do landscapes; she was very good at it." Gary said, grinning at the pokemon before him, not even looking up at Tracey.

Tracey moved slowly along the wall, gazing at the paintings, stopping occasionally as he recognized the girls in the paintings. Anna wearing torn jeans and a cut Black Sabbath shirt, leaning against a brick wall and playing her bright green bass guitar. May and Bella lying in the sun wearing only bikinis. Bella belly dancing under a full moon, her maroon peasant skirt swirling around her, the black laces of her sandals creeping up her shapely legs to her knees. Kate sitting with her legs crossed, looking up from a thick book in her lap as several strands of her red hair fell into her blue eyes. Michelle running in a field with a rapidash ahead of her, her brown hair flowing behind her and glittering in the sun.

Gary leaned against one the bed posts and watched Tracey with a small smile. He was happy to see someone other than May interested in his work and proudly watched as Tracey paused at a picture of an eevee standing before a stone that glowed blue, yellow, and red in a forest with a troubled expression on its face. Ghostly versions of vaporeon, jolteon, and flareon swirled towards the night sky. "Was this supposed to be your eevee?" Tracey asked, glancing at Gary who nodded silently. "Were you planning on evolving her with one of the stones?"

"I thought of it, but I couldn't decide what to evolve Eevee into. In the end I decided I wanted her just the way she was." Gary laughed softly, "She evolved later that night into Umbreon."

Tracey looked at Gary and their eyes met for a moment before Tracey smiled and almost blushed under the weight of Gary's intense gaze before turning back to the wall. He felt as though he were being allowed a window into Gary's guarded mind and began to see what was truly important to the boy reflected on the many canvases covering the red walls. He noticed that Anna was in many of the pictures, including a few of her naked, but May was in far more paintings.

"You paint May a lot." Tracey said conversationally and soon regretted it.

Gary simply nodded, not saying anything, his face carefully not betraying his thoughts. Tracey felt almost as though he could reach out and feel the walls that Gary had suddenly erected around himself. He sighed and wearily ran a hand over his face; at least he had gotten further than he expected to with Gary.

--- --- ---


	4. Chapter 4: Poison

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 4: Poison

Gary sat on the piano bench and gazed at the many amps he and Anna had set up over time. An Alice Cooper cd was playing on the speakers as Gary contemplated his relationship with Anna. He sighed and folded his legs beneath him and crossed his arms, hugging himself, as he thought of what had happened the last time he hung out with his best friend.

It had been just a few days before he had invited Tracey into his room to see his paintings, Gary had been walking alone at the edge of the forest surrounding the property when Anna had approached him. The night before had been a bad one, Gary remembered. He had sat in the same room, the exact same spot as he was sitting right now. He had loathed admitting it, but the ache was back.

--- --- ---

_He silently rubbed his scarred forearms against his torso, not wanting to give into the primal urge that was threatening to overwhelm him. The melancholic Children of Bodom song played softly and he longed for the relief that the song implied. Unable to fight any longer, Gary released a soft scream of frustration and sharply hit the edge of the piano with the side of his hand. The pain felt distant, though he knew his hand would most likely have a bruise where it struck the instrument._

_He rolled up his sleeves and gazed at the many scars, the most recent about two weeks old. He thought back to that time; he'd felt as though his world was finally coming undone. He'd called May the next morning and told her he was coming home for good. He'd managed to fight the urge that had been building the past two weeks but now he worried that he would give in. Sighing, he placed his fingers on the keys of the piano and moved them in the melody that he so often played in misery. Lacrimosa. The Requiem._

_His hands fell from the keys as he felt his eyes burning. No longer able to fight, Gary stood quickly and walked to a chest of drawers containing music books and cables. He opened the bottom drawer, pushed aside a shoebox of guitar strings and pulled out the sharp pocketknife. His grandfather had given him the knife long ago, knowing that Gary enjoyed being in the forest around the property and figured that it would be useful. He would cringe if he knew what his grandson used that knife for. Slamming the drawer shut, Gary walked grimly into the bathroom connected to the room and turned on the light, placing the knife on the cold countertop._

_He rolled sleeves of his black shirt up to his elbows and steadied his trembling hands. Gazing at the scarred flesh, he placed the knife against his pale skin and pressed. Slowly moving the blade across his skin, Gary watched his blood well up around the blade and drip down his arm. _

_The blood dripped into the white sink as the pain struck Gary as though from far away. He continued to cut, retracing scars in different places along his arm, as he watched his reflection grow paler. He knew he should stop but couldn't force himself to. He could feel himself becoming slightly nauseous and dizzy but continued anyway. _

_Suddenly overcome by dizziness, the blade slipped out of his hand and into the sink. Gary fell against the counter and tried to steady himself while staring at his blood that had pooled in the sink. Finally shaken out of his reverie, Gary reached for one of the dark towels hanging on the wall and pressed it against his bleeding arm. Feeling ill, he opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a box of gauze and a roll of medical tape and tossed them on the ground by his feet as he turned on the water and rinsed the blood off of his arm. Realizing that the blood flow hadn't stopped yet, he cursed and held the towel against his now sore arm until it did stop. He bandaged his arm and left the rest of the gauze and tape on the floor with the bloody towel._

_Closing the door behind him, Gary walked out of the music room and down the hall to his bedroom. He opened his closet door and pulled out his Iron Maiden hoodie that May had given him. The hoodie was his security blanket and he pulled it on and walked out of his room and down the stairs into the kitchen._

_May was there, making a cup of tea. She smiled at her brother, a smile that faded when she saw how pale he was. "Gary," she said softly._

_Gary ignored her and poured himself a glass of apple juice and quickly drank it. May leaned against the counter and waited for her brother to finish. As Gary walked past her to put his empty glass in the sink, May grabbed his arm and turned him so that he was facing her. The wince of pain on his face didn't escape her notice. "Gary, why?" May whispered._

_Unable to meet her eyes, Gary looked away. "I love you." May pressed on. "I wish you wouldn't do this, I wish you would just talk to me instead of doing this to yourself." _

_Gary closed his eyes and sighed, wishing he could think of something to say to May. May reached out suddenly and touched the edges of the sleeves of the sweatshirt. Reflexively, Gary jerked back from her and crossed his arms, out of her reach. May felt the walls come up around her brother and sighed."I wish you wouldn't do this, Gary." She repeated, barely audible before walking out of the room. Gary sighed an leaned against the counter, running his trembling hands through his hair._

--- --- ---

Disgusted with the memories, Gary shook his head fiercely and slammed his hands onto the piano keys, fingers instinctively falling into position for proper chords. He began to play. Nothing specific, just letting his hands wander across the keys.

Later that day, Anna had come over. The only other person who knew of his scars, she had ones of her own, on her thighs. Gary kissed them every time they had sex, wishing he could heal them and his own.

--- --- ---

_Anna set down the blue Ibanez of Gary's the she had been aimlessly playing while Gary merely sat in a chair and gazed moodily at the wall in front of him. "Why so moody?" She asked. Gary merely sighed and glared at her. "Ah," she said standing and walking towards him. "I know what'll make you feel better." She smiled seductively and touched Gary's chest._

_Gary brushed her hand away and stood, walking away from her. Feeling helpless, he stood in the middle of the room, not knowing what to do next. Anna walked to him and stood in front of him, she reached out and pulled his hands into her own. Gary knew what was coming next and silently rolled his sleeves up to reveal the red wounds. He had removed the bandages earlier, hating the way they itched his skin. Anna gazed at the new wounds silently before lowering her head and gently kissing Gary's forearms. She walked to the chest of drawers and pulled out a bottle of vodka and two glasses. _

_She poured one for each of them and knocked hers back quickly while Gary moodily stared at his own before taking a long sip from it. That night they drank the whole bottle of vodka. Feeling liberated by the elixir, Anna had straddled Gary's waist, slowly running her hands up and down his body as he groaned in barely-contained pleasure. He had pushed her gently onto the carpet and kissed her softly while inside of her. This was the most gentle their exploits had ever been and Anna couldn't help but feel intoxicated by Gary; the way his dark blue eyes pierced hers, the way his body moved over her, the way he felt inside of her, the way his lips caressed her scars when they were done. She'd left later, Rachael had come looking for her and was angry to see her so intoxicated._

_Gary had collapsed into his bed in the extreme hours of the morning, only to wake up several hours later to feel bile rising in throat. After being sick in the bathroom several times, he grabbed a bottle of aspirin and took a handful, not caring how many he swallowed. Downstairs, May was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. She slid a plate of toast across the table to her brother as he laid his head on the table, trying to ignore his growing nausea. Unable to sit at the table anymore, Gary rushed to the bathroom near the kitchen. May showed up a moment later with a glass of water and bottle of pills. _

"_Thanks." He said quietly as he took the water. May offered him the bottle which he shook his head to._

"_Already take some?" May asked, Gary nodded slightly. "How many?" She asked._

_Feeling ill, Gary ignored her question and vomited into the toilet. May rubbed his back soothingly before pressing on, "Gary, how many?" Much to her frustration, he simply shrugged before being sick again. May found herself wondering how much Anna and Gary had drank last night._

"_How much is that?" She asked, still rubbing her brother's back, "Five? More than five? Less?"_

"_I didn't count." Gary replied rubbing his temples as May sighed and stood up._

"_You should go upstairs and rest." She said angrily, holding out her hands to help him up._

--- --- ---

_Gary followed May into the sitting room where she sat down and put her face in her hands. He watched silently as his sister fought back tears before letting out a strangled sob. Knowing that she was crying because of him, Gary sat next to her and put a hand on her arm, "May," he said gently, she ignored him and cried quietly into her hands. _

_Not able to stand the sight of May so upset, Gary hugged her tightly and pulled her closer to him. _

--- --- ---

Thinking back on it, Gary was upset by the fact that his best friend could cause him to do things that made his sister so distraught. It was one of the reasons he had promised not to see Anna that day, knowing perfectly well that Anna would show up to check on him later that day.

--- --- ---

_He had showered and changed into a pair of black gym shorts and his favorite sweatshirt. Pulling on his dark sunglasses, Gary walked outside and kept walking silently until he reached the edge of the forest. He paused there, confirming that he was indeed alone before he began to wander amongst the trees. That was when Anna came; she simply walked up to him and pushed him against a tree trunk before kissing him passionately. Gary ran his fingers through her long hair and fiercely kissed her back, letting his frustrations go in that kiss. As the kiss deepened, Gary could feel Anna's hands run down his chest and slip under his shirt before scratching her nails across his back. Gasping at the sensation, Gary pulled back from the kiss and bit down on Anna's shoulder. Anna sighed and shuddered against Gary, clinging to him for support as he kissed and sucked her shoulder while running his hands along the sides of her torso. Gary pulled away as Anna's hand suddenly slipped into his shorts. Suddenly she stopped and gave him a mischievous grin before grabbing his hands and pulling him deeper into the forest as she pulled off her shirt._

--- --- ---

Gary withdrew his hands from the instrument before him as he thought of the frenzied sex that took place in the forest. That's what it always was with Anna. Sex. It wasn't lovemaking, it was just sex. Frenzied, rough sex that left both of them begging for more. Beyond that though, was their connection, they were more than best friends. She was the person Gary trusted more than anyone in the world. Though he wouldn't place his life in her hands, as he would with May, he would let Anna see the darkest sides of him.

He would show her his scars, surrender his weaknesses to her caress, but he could never give her up.

She was his greatest addiction, next to pain and misery. She was his poison.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

The Alice Cooper album that Gary is listening to is Trash, the album with the songs Poison and Bed of Nails, reflecting his view on Anna at the end of the chapter.

The melancholic Children of Bodom song that Gary is listening to in his memory is Everytime I Die.


	5. Chapter 5: Getting Somewhere

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 5: Getting Somewhere

Gary leaned back against the cushions of the couch in the living room, watching May attempt to play Toccata and Fugue on the piano. As always, she messed up only a few measures into the song. Tracey was sitting across from Gary, occasionally stealing glances at the other boy from over the top of his Pokemon Watchers Monthly magazine.

May suddenly gave up Toccata and switched to a complex melody. Gary laughed suddenly at his sister's attempts. "Your counter-point is horrendous, sis," he said.

Tracey looked up from his magazine confused. "Bach's Invention Thirteen." May explained, "Gary loves to show off when it comes to this song."

Gary shrugged confidently, "You're just annoyed that you can play the parts on each hand separately but when you try playing them at the same time, you fuck up horribly. You just need more practice."

May sighed and tried again, failing after a few measures. Gary shook his head and walked over to his sister. "Relax." He said, "Watch me."

May rolled her eyes as her younger brother leaned over her and played the song perfectly. "Show off." She muttered.

"Here, I'll play it with you." Gary said sitting next to his sister and placing his left hand in position. "You play the right hand part."

Tracey watched the two siblings play together, admiring the way Gary's eyes lit up as he played with his sister. After playing for several minutes that way, May and Gary switched places and continued to play, building the tempo every time until May had it down properly. Gary stood up after nearly half an hour of playing with May. "Now try it on your own," he commanded.

May played it, or tried to. She got further than she had before. Gary chuckled and kissed her on the cheek before leaving the room.

Checking to see if they were alone, May turned to Tracey. "He's quite cheerful today. You two should hang out - I hear that he let you in his room the other day." She said with a wink.

Tracey blushed and laughed. "He let me see the paintings," he reminded her.

"And played a little bit of piano for you," she said with a grin. "I'd say he seems to trust you more than most people. He doesn't really let anyone in his room; Bella and Michelle have probably never been in there."

Tracey contemplated this before standing up, "I guess I'll go see if he's got any plans then."

"There's a good boy." May said happily; glad to see her brother actually letting someone get even remotely close to him.

--- --- ---

Tracey wandered up the stairs to Gary's bedroom and listened to see if the teen was even in there. Sure enough, he could hear the cello clearly. Tracey took a breath and knocked on the door, he was slightly surprised to hear Gary's voice call that the door was open.

Tracey opened the door and stepped inside, closing the door gently behind him. Gary sat on the piano bench with the cello in front of him, bow in one hand, while his other hand caressed the ebony neck of the instrument. His hair hung in front of his face as he pulled the bow sharply across the strings one last time before looking up.

Gary's blue eyes widened slightly in surprise to see Tracey standing before him. "I thought you were May." He said with a small smile.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize," Gary said, placing his hands on the edge of the piano behind him, carefully avoiding the keys as he leaned back. "I'm the one that invited you in."

Tracey smiled nervously. "I was wondering if you had any plans for today." He said, hoping Gary had none.

Much to Tracey's relief, Gary shook his head. "One of the few days none of the girls are coming over, as far as I know." He replied as he plucked one of the strings on the cello, frowning at the noise, he gently turned one of the pegs slightly. "Why? Want to do something?"

"There's not really much to do since your grandfather is working on another report." Tracey admitted, biting his lip slightly.

Gary nodded. "He doesn't like people helping him with the reports for some reason. Then again, when I had to do data reports for the labs in school, I would freak out if anyone came near me while I was working on them."

Tracey laughed comfortably and leaned against the wall next to the piano. "I didn't know you had to do those sort of reports in school." He said.

Gary sighed and set the cello back in its place next to the piano. "You have no idea how many we had to do. I'm glad it's over."

Tracey raised his eyebrows in surprise, "You're already done with your degree?" He asked.

"Yeah. The degree programs are designed so that you can get a degree in six semesters. Only problem is that you take almost twenty credit hours of classes a semester." Tracey whistled in shock and Gary laughed softly in response. "It's a prestigious school." He said with a shrug.

"Sinnoh Biological University? Right?" Tracey asked, trying to remember the name of the school that Professor Oak had done several guest lectures at.

Gary shook his head. "Sinnoh University of Biological Sciences." He corrected. "I'm the third person in the family to graduate from there. Grandpa was a professor there for awhile, in ecology. My father had a few degrees from there too." Gary sighed wearily suddenly. "I think my grandfather expects me to do the same as he did."

"Professor Oak was really proud of you for getting into the school." Tracey offered. "I thought you had to be at least sixteen to go there though?"

Gary laughed mirthlessly. "Not when you're the heir to the Oak Research Lab," he said with a bitter edge to his voice.

Tracey worried briefly if he had ruined Gary's mood. Gary forced a small smile and admitted, "It was nice knowing that I could get my way with any of the professors though."

Tracey laughed. "I doubt you needed that though. I remember when I went with Professor Oak when he did one of his lectures and you spent our whole visit studying for one class."

Gary groaned and covered his face briefly. "Comparative vertebrate anatomy. I hated that class!" Gary reminisced. "I hated that lab even more. Have you ever had to do a dissection before?" He asked, looking up at Tracey.

Tracey shook his head and Gary laughed embarrassedly. "I'd managed to get out of having to do the major ones until that lab. I'm surprised my lab partner didn't kill me, I completely ruined the first dissection."

"How so?" Tracey asked. "Slice open the intestines and spill stomach acid all over the desk?"

Gary laughed again. "I wish that was all that happened!" He said with an embarrassed grin. "I'd made sure I'd eaten before the lab because I was worried I would pass out. Ends up that was a bad idea."

"You threw up?" Tracey asked.

Gary nodded. "Chelsea had just opened the abdominal cavity of our vulpix kit. And I puked all over everything." Gary covered his face and laughed. "All over the pokemon, all over her dissection kit – it was horrible!" He exclaimed, laughing.

"I take it you got out of that lab?" Tracey asked, grinning.

"I got out of that dissection. Chelsea and I made a deal that we would have the back lab bench from then on and I would face the wall behind us and do the worksheets for both of us while she did all the dirty work. Didn't keep me from getting sick though." Gary admitted.

"Sounds like you had a good lab partner." Tracey said.

Gary nodded. "We were lab partners for almost every lab that we had to take. Except for genetics, techniques of genetic engineering, and molecular biology. And advanced organic chemistry." Gary frowned, trying to remember the classes.

"Wow," Tracey said with a frown. "I can't imagine having to take classes like that!"

"That's why I went there and not you." Gary said with a slightly smug smile. "It's hard to get into that school. You have to be the absolute top of your classes just to be considered, you have to have a certain amount of experience with pokemon, and you have to so a research internship. You have to be in top schools unless you're the relative of some big researcher. There were so many kids there that had spent their entire lives in classrooms and libraries with the exception of their training experience. Then there were the spoiled rotten rich kids who had been in glitzy private schools their whole lives and were only there because their parents were rich as hell." Gary said incredulously.

"You went to a normal public school?" Tracey inquired.

Gary shook his head. "May did. Grandpa had me homeschooled." He looked at the floor sullenly. "After my parents died, I couldn't stand going back to school. So I stayed here." Tracey stayed silent, not sure of what to say in response. Gary looked up, suddenly wiping his eyes. "Anyways," he said, shrugging off whatever emotions he had been feeling, walls falling back into place. "You wanted to do something?"

"Yeah, if you want to get out of the house for a bit." Tracey said hopefully.

Gary considered making up an excuse to stay alone in his bed room, thinking uncomfortably of how the memory of his parents had suddenly stirred such strong emotions within him. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind and smiled at Tracey, carefully keeping his walls intact. "Let's go." He said simply.

"Where?" Tracey asked.

Gary shrugged, walking to his closet. "To get lunch. We can go for a drive," he replied.

Tracey nodded and walked to his room to get ready.

--- --- ---

Gary stared at his reflection in the mirror over his dresser as he slid his wallet into his pocket and pulled on his sunglasses. "What am I doing?" he asked himself. He had never allowed someone so close to him so suddenly. He closed his eyes and sighed softly, pushing away his insecurities and forcing his face into his usual casually confident mask before leaving the room and walking down the stairs to meet Tracey in the sitting room.

Gary was surprised when he saw that Tracey wasn't alone in the sitting room when he arrived. When Kate had gotten there, he didn't know but her familiar presence made him relax. Kate smiled at him and gave him a quick squeeze and peck on the cheek when he entered the room. Gary wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her cheek in return. "I haven't seen you in a few days; I hope you've been alright." Gary said.

"I've been fine; I have a job you know." Kate said, straightening her plain purple tank top and putting her hands in the pockets of her jeans.

"Do you want to come with us?" Gary asked her.

"Of course." Kate replied happily and turned to Tracey, "Are you coming too?" She asked.

Tracey nodded. He was suddenly worried about Kate's unexpected presence, concerned that Gary would behave differently with her around. May appeared in the doorway behind Gary and Kate, she gave Tracey a brief smile before tugging her brother's hair and handing him his keys. "Have fun." She said cheerily.

Gary opened the garage door and walked around to the driver's side of his red Camaro. He slid into the seat and leaned across the passenger seat to open the door for Tracey and Kate. Kate pushed forward the front seat and climbed into the back seat. Gary cranked the car as Tracey climbed into the low car and suddenly the car was filled with heavy guitar, growling vocals, and fast double-bass drums. Kate groaned, "Please don't make us listen to Dimmu Borgir, Gary!" She begged.

Gary turned the volume down and handed Tracey a thick cd case. "You can pick if you want." He said.

Tracey smiled embarrassedly. "I don't really know much music." He admitted.

Kate reached forward and took the case from Tracey when May suddenly tapped Gary's window. Gary rolled down the window and looked at her questioningly. May slipped a cd case into Gary's hand. "Forgot that I borrowed this from you." She said with a grin as Gary narrowed his eyes at her.

"This will cheer you up, Kate." He said as he opened the cd case, ejecting the cd already in the stereo and replacing it with the cd in his hands. Shifting the car into drive, the song Gary turned on began with heavy guitar and a pretty piano introduction. A woman's singing filled the car as Kate smiled and said "Now isn't this better?"

Gary rolled his eyes as he let down the windows and turned down the road, suddenly stepping on the gas, startling Tracey. "So, uh, what's this band?" Tracey asked as a slightly bouncy interlude began with operatic vocals.

"Epica." Gary replied. "May plays a lot of their songs on piano. She can actually play this one very well." Gary gestured toward the cd player as a short piano part began.

The car ride went fast, though it still seemed to last too long for Tracey who wasn't used to Gary's fast driving, sudden stops, and sharp turns as Kate was. Tracey was surprised when he realized they had stopped at an ice cream parlor.

"Ice cream for lunch?" He asked Gary.

"Best place in Pallet." Gary replied with a shrug.

Kate leaned forward and whispered in Tracey's ear, "They have awesome pina coloda milkshakes."

Tracey raised his eyebrows at her suggestion, suddenly knowing what he was getting.

Kate and Tracey found a picnic table under a tree while Gary got their ice cream. They two teens chatted idly while Gary was gone, talking mostly about how terrified Tracey was during the drive over. Tracey was laughing when a large Styrofoam cup was placed in front of him. Tracey looked up to see Gary hand Kate a large brownie sundae before sitting down between them with some sort of red smoothie for himself. Kate grinned and then groaned. "I hate cherries!" She exclaimed suddenly.

Gary smiled. "That's what I'm here for." He said, reaching over and snatching the cherry off of her sundae. Tracey watched as Gary seductively placed the cherry in his mouth, toying with it with his tongue before eating it. Tracey caught a glimpse of a silver tongue ring and suddenly felt himself becoming extremely aroused. Forcing himself to keep a straight face, Tracey turned his attention to his milkshake.

Throughout their lunch, Tracey found himself wondering if his attraction to Gary was apparent as the younger boy playfully flirted with Kate and made seductive eye contact with Tracey. Tracey felt himself blushing as Gary licked his lips before placing them on the straw for his smoothie and sucking. 'If only he knew how crazy this is making me.' Tracey thought, wondering if this was just how Gary acted or if this was a show for either Kate or Tracey.

The three teens sat under the tree chatting as they finished their food. Tracey watched as Gary's lips slowly grew redder from his cherry and strawberry smoothie and had a hard time focusing on the conversation. As Kate talked happily about something to do with her charmeleon, Gary found himself watching Tracey as he finished his milkshake. Gary enjoyed watching the older boy, the way he smiled, the way his black hair gleamed glossily in the sun, the way his chocolate eyes met Gary's over their drinks. 'What is going on with me?' he thought as he once more sucked his smoothie through the straw in a way that seemed to make Tracey flush.

Gary thought about what it was that he was enjoying about Tracey, confused about exactly what he was thinking of. 'Am I attracted to him?' Gary questioned himself, pushing the thought out of his mind, he thought of Anna. They had spent most of the day in the music room the day before - much of that time spent with Anna straddling his waist, both clothed and not. Feeling himself become aroused by the memories of Anna, Gary returned his thoughts to Tracey. 'Could I be bisexual?' He suddenly worried. He choked on his smoothie when this thought entered his head.

Standing up suddenly, Gary suggested that they leave. Tracey and Kate looked at him in surprise; Kate shrugged and stood up too, suggesting that Gary drop her off on their way back to the house. Gary nodded silently and walked to the car.

Tracey and Kate glanced at each other in confusion but shrugged off Gary's suddenly strange behavior. Tracey climbed into the back of the Camaro as Kate slipped into the front seat. The engine roared to life as Gary started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Kate leaned across the stick shift and gave Gary another quick kiss on the cheek before thanking him for the ice cream and climbing out of the car when they reached her house.

Tracey climbed into the front seat as Gary watched Kate walk up the driveway to her house. The two boys rode in silence with the exception of the music for a few minutes before Gary's cell phone rang, the jingle a classical melody that Tracey recognized.

Gary glanced at it before handing it to Tracey, "It's May." He said.

Tracey smiled and answered the phone, happy to hear May's cheerful voice breaking the silence.

"May says we have to pick up Anna and Rachael at 2:00." Tracey informed Gary.

Gary glanced at the clock, "It's only one right now, do you want to hang out someplace for a bit or do you want me to drop you off at home?" He asked, hoping that Tracey would agree to stay with him.

"I'll hang out if you want to." Tracey said.

Gary nodded, thinking of a place where he and Ash had played when they were children that was nearby. Gary was surprised when he pulled in front of the small park; the once brightly colored playground equipment was rusted and broken and the grass overgrown. He smiled when he realized that the large oak tree that the two boys had climbed nearly every day was still there. "It used to be nicer years ago." Gary explained to a confused looking Tracey, "Either way, we'll be alone."

Tracey followed Gary through the knee-high grass towards the large tree and watched as Gary pulled himself up onto a low branch and climbed until he was several feet off the ground. "Are you sure this is safe?" Tracey asked nervously, eyeing a weedle that crawled idly across a low branch.

"It's safe." Gary replied. "Scared of heights?"

"No, I just haven't climbed a tree since I was a kid." Tracey replied as he pulled himself onto a branch. "So what's with you and Kate?" He asked casually as he climbed closer to the branch that Gary was perched on.

"What do you mean?" Gary asked, eyeing Tracey warily.

"I mean the kissing, the flirting, you know."

Gary shrugged, picking at a leaf on the branch. "She's my best friend," he replied simply.

"I thought Anna was."

"Next to Anna." Gary sighed.

Tracey nodded, hesitating before he spoke again. "Kate seems like she likes you."

Gary nodded slightly, shredding the leaf he was picking at. "She does. We dated once, didn't work out though."

"Sorry." Tracey said softly, looking down at the ground.

"Don't be." Gary said with another shrug.

"What happened between you two? When you were dating?" Tracey asked a few moments later.

Gary sighed and leaned against the trunk of the tree. "Anna." He said with a slight shrug.

Tracey felt uncomfortable with the silence that fell. He was grateful when Gary suddenly broke it a few moments later. "Anna's my best friend. I can say whatever I want around her, I can do whatever I want and I know she won't judge me. I can be myself around her; I don't have to censor anything like I do with May."

"You don't have to censor anything around me." Tracey said softly, "I won't judge you."

Gary gazed across the field of tall grass. "I know," he said softly. "Anna and I… have a connection that I don't have with anyone else. It's not love; it's more like a deep understanding and trust." Gary paused and picked up another leaf. "When Kate and I were dating, things between me and Anna didn't change and I felt like shit because of it." Thinking of what he had witnessed between the two of them amongst the trees of the forest only a week prior, Tracey nodded in understanding. Gary didn't notice and continued with a heavy sigh. "I'd thought I was in love with Anna at the time so I broke it off so that Kate wouldn't get hurt."

"Did you ever date Anna?" Tracey asked, thinking about everything Gary had said in the past few minutes.

Gary shook his head slowly. "A lot of people think we have. We could never have a relationship like that."

The boys sat in silence for several long minutes. Tracey could feel that Gary's mood had turned melancholic and wondered how he could change his mood back to the way it had been at the ice cream place. Desperate to break the chilly mood, Tracey searched his brain for something, anything to talk about.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

The Epica song Gary, Tracey, and Kate are listening to in the car is Sensorium.


	6. Chapter 6: Weakness Part 1

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 6: Weakness Part 1

Tracey entered the kitchen in the late afternoon and was surprised to see Gary at the counter, carefully chopping vegetables as his umbreon sat on the floor directly behind him, looking up expectantly. Tracey hadn't seen the other boy since their outing the day before and was happy to watch Gary in a slightly tight black shirt and camouflaged cargo pants while the black pokemon begged for food. Tracey walked to the refrigerator, pulled out a can of soda and stood before the open door for a moment, looking for something to eat.

"Hungry?" Gary asked as Tracey sighed and closed the refrigerator. Umbreon barked happily, wagging her tail. "Not you! You're always hungry." Gary scolded the pokemon gently.

"Yeah, there's not really much to eat that doesn't have to be cooked." Tracey said, leaning against the counter as he watched Gary turn on the stove.

Dumping noodles into a water-filled pot, Gary met Tracey's eyes and wondered what it would be like to gaze into them the way he would often gaze into Anna's. Tracey noticed the slightly troubled look in Gary's eyes and wondered what he was thinking about. He remembered May pointing out that no one ever knew what Gary was thinking. 'There's only one way to know.' He thought to himself, watching Gary dump the vegetables into a pan with some oil in it.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, eyeing the slight frown on Gary's face.

"Nothing." Gary replied reflexively.

"So you often frown at nothing?" Tracey asked, wondering if he was going too far.

To his surprise, Gary chuckled softly as he walked past Tracey to the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of orange juice and pouring a glass. "All the time."

Tracey laughed and watched the attractive boy continue to cook. He admired the way the black shirt moved over the gentle curves of Gary's muscles and wished that, for once, the boy was wearing something other than long sleeves. He smiled as he watched Gary flick his head in mild irritation as strands of hair fell in front of his eyes. May came in the room at that moment, smiling at Tracey, she leaned against the counter next to Gary and gently tugged his hair. Noticing that her brother was pointedly ignoring her, May stood behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders, squeezing gently.

"You're so tense!" She said as Gary shook her off, rolling his eyes.

"You're in my way." He muttered as his umbreon nuzzled her head against his leg.

"She just wants a treat." May said cheerfully, pulling a bag a liver treats from the top of the refrigerator.

"Actually, I was talking about you." Gary said as he pulled plates out of a cabinet.

Tracey laughed at the banter between the two siblings and sat down at the table, watching as Gary piled food onto three plates and into a small bowl which he placed on the ground for Umbreon.

"If I'd known you were cooking dinner, I would've made some steaks or something. Can't let Trace here go hungry." May said teasingly.

Gary sighed as he placed the plates on the table before leaning against the counter with his own. Tracey ignored May's comment and began eating, wondering how Gary managed to put so much flavor into vegetables and pasta.

"In case you haven't noticed yet, Gary here doesn't eat meat. Or dairy." May said, eyeing her brother.

Tracey glanced at Gary, whose muscles and suddenly tensed. "I'm lactose intolerant." He explained to Tracey. "And I don't like meat." He shot at his sister.

May giggled softly. "He's a vegan in denial-"

"I hate vegans." Gary interrupted.

"-which makes eating with him around a royal pain in the ass." May joked.

Gary set his plate on the counter sharply. Turning his back on the other two teens, he pulled a few slices of bread from the bread box next to the refrigerator and began to angrily butter them. Realizing she'd gone too far, May sighed and stood up and pulled a can of soda out of the fridge.

"You know I'm just picking on you." She said, putting her hand on Gary's shoulder.

He roughly shrugged her off. "I'm sorry." May said, watching as Gary continued to butter the slices of bread.

"Like hell you are." Gary said bitterly. May suddenly reached over and pulled the bread and butter away from him. "What the hell, May?"

"We both know you won't eat it with that much butter!"

"Fine!" Gary suddenly threw the butter knife in the sink from several feet away and stormed out of the kitchen, hitting his hand sharply against the door jam on his way out.

May sighed and followed her brother into the hall. Tracey listened as May called after her brother, as he harshly told her to leave him alone. A door on the second floor slammed as May walked back into the kitchen and sat back down at the table.

"I didn't think he would get so angry with you here." She said softly, looking at Tracey as they heard Gary's guitar from the upstairs room.

"I take it he doesn't like you picking on him." Tracey said, still eating.

May stood and walked to the counter where Gary's plate and glass of orange juice were still sitting. Sighing, she placed the plate in the microwave, muttering something about Gary being hungry later. She placed the glass in the sink and tossed the slices of bread to Umbreon, who happily ate them. "I didn't mean to piss him off," she said, watching the small pokemon eat the bread. "I really didn't think he would react like that with you around. He's always very in-control around people. He very rarely shows darker emotions around people other than Anna or me. More often it's Anna."

Tracey thought of Gary saying something about not having to censor himself around Anna and nodded. "He's very guarded." He replied.

May nodded helplessly.

--- --- ---

Upstairs, Gary felt relieved to be away from his sister and Tracey. Embarrassed by his behavior, he picked up a guitar and played it angrily before suddenly putting it down and walking to the chest of drawers. Yanking the bottom drawer open, he pulled out the pocket knife. On the way into the bathroom he turned on the stereo and turned the volume up louder, one of Anna's Dimmu Borgir cds came on, perhaps louder than he meant for but it didn't matter to him.

Gary turned on the bathroom light and placed the blade against the skin, pulling it down sharply, the flesh split and blood spilled into the sink. The pain hit Gary immediately and he knew that he'd cut deeper than he meant to. Pulling the blade against his flesh several more times, Gary felt himself growing slightly dizzy. Throwing the knife into the sink, Gary screamed in frustration. Shaking in his fury, he pulled out the box of gauze and roll of medical tape. Holding the dark towel to his bleeding arm, Gary cursed himself for not calming down before putting the knife against his skin. Taking a few deep breaths to soothe his racing heart beat, he pulled a box of butterfly sutures out of the medicine cabinet and carefully placed several along the long and deep cut before tightly bandaging his arm.

Gary carefully rinsed his blood out of the sink and placed everything back where it belonged. He turned off the stereo and walked to his bedroom. Not bothering to close the door, he sank onto the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands. Sighing in frustration, he gingerly placed his injured arm in his lap and wearily rubbed his face with his other hand.

Groaning at the pain in his arm, he curled up on his bed, facing away from the door, not bothering to pull the drapes shut around him. He wished Anna were there. Anna with one of her many elixirs; vodka, tequila, her body - anything to distract him from his anger and physical pain.

Wishing he could just stop his habit of shutting people out and slicing his arm open whenever he became angry or upset, he could feel his eyes prickle slightly. Wishing someone – Anna, Kate, May, anyone – would come and calm him down, he could feel a single tear trace its way down his cheek. Longing for something he didn't quite know, he could feel more tears.

Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to drift off into sleep.

--- --- ---

A short time later, May leaned against the door way of Gary's room, watching her brother sleep. Sighing heavily, she stepped into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, being careful not to wake Gary. She gently brushed his hair out of his face and was surprised to see the traces of tears on his cheeks. She glanced at his wrists to see that the sleeves had fallen back from his hands slightly and that his left arm was bandaged again. She touched the edge of the bandage gently and saw Gary's eyes flutter open.

"I'm so sorry." May whispered.

Gary groaned and closed his eyes. "Don't be."

"I didn't mean to make you so upset, I was only playing." May explained softly.

Gary sighed and rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling over his bed. May gently tugged on the sleeve of his right arm, revealing his many scars. Startled by the lack of reaction this caused, she glanced at her brother's pale face and ran her fingers over the scarred skin of his forearm.

"Are you alright?" She asked softly, receiving only a shrug in return. "I wish you would talk to me."

Glancing up, May saw Tracey standing in the doorway with a worried expression on his face. She smiled grimly at him before looking back at Gary. Gary stayed silent for several moments before suddenly pulling his arm out of his sister's gentle grip and rolled onto his stomach. Sliding his arms under the pillow before him, he turned his head away from May.

"I'm tired." He said flatly.

"Is that it?" May asked.

"No. I'm sick of this."

"Sick of what?" She asked gently, resting her hand on his hip.

"Everything!" Gary snapped.

"Gary," May began.

Gary suddenly rolled over to face his sister; his dark eyes conveying his annoyance. "No!" He said suddenly. "I don't want to hear it."

May simply held her brother's gaze, not looking away to see whether or not Tracey was there.

"I'm fed up with it, May. I'm so sick of everyone constantly being on my case about something. If it's not you with some trivial little thing, or Gramps with school and training and whatever other bullshit he can think of, it's someone else with something else that I don't care about." His eyes glimmered in the fading light from the setting sun. Gary shook his head and sighed, once more rolling over to avoid his sister.

Not looking at Tracey, who was still standing silently in the doorway, May pulled the drapes around the bed shut and laid next to her brother. Carefully draping her arm over his waist, she squeezed his hand gently. Pressing her body against his, she could feel him trembling slightly, fighting against whatever emotions were going through him at the moment. "Talk to me." She whispered against his hair.

Gary suddenly exhaled sharply. Sitting up, May looked down at him, seeing tears slowing streaming from his closed eyes. With a sigh, May wrapped her arms around him and held him close to her.

Murmuring soothing words, she could feel Gary's tense body slowly relax, his breathing slowing into a sleepy rhythm. After a long time, May lifted her head and saw that he was no longer crying. Certain that he was either asleep or nearly asleep, she pulled the comforter around the two of them and curled up next to him with her eyes closed.

--- --- ---


	7. Chapter 7: Weakness Part 2

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 7: Weakness Part 2

May awoke before her brother and simply sat beside his sleeping form for a long time. Silently stroking Gary's hair, she wondered what could be bothering her brother so much to cause him to act the way he did the night before. Sure, he'd said that he was sick of everyone's expectations of him, but there had to be more to it. She sighed, wishing she knew what to do about her melancholic brother.

Her thoughts wandered and she thought about Tracey. She knew the boy was attracted to her brother and wondered if it was mutual, thinking of the way Gary carelessly acted around him. He wasn't quite as guarded as he was with other people when Tracey was around. Kate had told her about the way Gary had acted when they went out for ice cream the day before and now she was certain that her brother was bisexual. She'd first wondered about his sexuality when she had visited him several months prior at his school and was surprised by his behavior. He was still sixteen, about to turn seventeen, when she had visited and the semester had just ended, leaving the students with a few weeks of vacation before the next semester started.

--- --- ---

_She walked into the small house that her brother shared with three friends, not knowing what to expect. She had already been surprised when Gary met her at the airport, his hair was longer than ever and when he spoke she could see the metallic glint of a tongue ring. He was grinning when he saw her and hugged her tightly, kissing her on the cheek. She was surprised to feel the muscles that had developed on her thin brother. Wondering when he'd suddenly gotten so much taller, she had smiled while Gary animatedly told her about school. She hadn't seen him so happy in a long time._

_She was deeply surprised by the apartment, much messier than her OCD little brother ever allowed things back home – wires trailed across the living room, connecting guitars to amps, books were scattered across tables and two boys and a girl sat on the couches._

_One boy, Andrew, had long blonde hair and a lip ring in the center of his lower lip. He wore a black tank top and jeans and was holding a red guitar that May recognized as one of her brothers. His fingers, tipped with black nail polish, flew across the fret board as he played a Children of Bodom song. When he saw Gary and May he placed the guitar back on the couch and greeted the older girl politely. When she shook his hand she saw old scars lacing the boy's arms, glancing at Gary's long sleeves, she wondered if the boy knew about Gary's scars._

_The other boy had long black hair and wore a Behemoth shirt with black shorts, he wore black eyeliner and a nose ring and introduced himself as Chris. May recognized Chelsea, Gary's lab partner, wearing a black miniskirt and a red tank top, she had smiled and greeted the older girl._

--- --- ---

May thought of all the interactions she had seen between Gary and Andrew and felt so certain that there was more to her brother than even she knew.

--- --- ---

_Andrew had picked up a black guitar with a Nightwish sticker on it and began to play a song that May suspected was by Dimmu Borgir. Gary had grinned, stepping behind the boy and wrapping his arm around him to pick the guitar. Gary and Andrew grinned at each other as they played, their gazes locked on each other. May noticed how close Gary's lips were to Andrew's neck as he picked the guitar so fast she wondered how he managed it without even looking at the instrument. Gary exhaled slowly with his mouth still close to Andrew's neck and watched the blonde boy shudder as he pulled away. _

--- --- ---

_May sat at the dining room table with the other four teenagers and laughed as Gary playfully called Andrew a faggot when he got up to wash the dishes. Andrew and gotten up and followed him into the kitchen._

"_I'll show you a faggot" He laughed, slapping Gary's ass._

"_You're going to be in deep shit if you keep that up." Gary said, looking over his shoulder as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt at the sink._

"_Only if I do this!" Andrew said, grasping Gary's hips and pressing his own against the boy._

_To May's surprise, Gary had only laughed harder at the boy's touch. "You're such a loser!" He replied, shaking his head._

_Andrew leaned forward and whispered in Gary's ear, "You like it though."_

_May watched her brother shrug off Andrew, wondering what the boy had whispered in his ear. _

--- --- ---

_The next night they all decided to drink in celebration of Gary's seventeenth birthday. Chris had managed to come up with several bottles of tequila and vodka and May could sense a growing excitement amongst the four teens as the day went on. _

_The drinking had started off with Chris sipping vodka casually and moved quickly to Gary and May throwing back shots of tequila. Before long, Chelsea had lain across the table with tequila on her stomach; Chris had lapped it off her stomach with a smirk. Then May watched as Andrew pulled his shirt off and poured the shot of vodka that Gary was about to take onto his stomach. Gary had laughed throatily and taken the invitation, seductively licking Andrew's lean torso, teasing his navel with the tongue ring._

_Later that night, the vodka was all gone, with the exception of what was in Andrew's glass, which Gary had accidentally knocked over with the headstock of his guitar. Andrew had pretended to be angry, with a giggle Chelsea told the boys to kiss and make up. Laughing that throaty laugh again, Gary had straddled Andrew's waist, running the tip of his tongue across Andrew's lower lip, teasing the lip ring, before pressing his lips against Andrew's. May watched, wondering if she was hallucinating, as Andrew ran his hands up Gary's back, under his shirt, as the kiss deepened. _

_Gary pulled away, licking his lips with a strange gleam in his eyes. Andrew grinned at him when he suddenly stood up saying something about needing more tequila. Both boys had disappeared soon afterwards, it was nearly an hour later when May peeked into Gary's room to find him sleeping with Umbreon curled at the foot of the bed._

--- --- ---

May smiled at her brother, thinking of how carefree he had been during her visit. She had asked him the next morning whether or not the kiss was serious. Gary had laughed and told her that it was just a joke, as most things between him and Andrew were. May believed him but, remembering the strange gleam she had seen in Gary's eyes, his throaty laugh, couldn't help but think that there was more going on than Gary admitted perhaps even to himself.

Gary suddenly stirred and opened his eyes as May gently stroked his cheek.

"Feeling better?" She asked gently.

He nodded, sitting up with the comforter pooling in his lap. "Thank you." He whispered, facing away from his sister.

May rubbed his back and sighed. "Everyone feels like that sometimes, Gary." She replied.

Nodding once more, Gary stood and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. May heard water running and leaned back against the pillows with a sigh.

--- --- ---

Gary could feel that his left sleeve was hard from dried blood, pulling the shirt off, he quickly turned on the water for the shower. The deep wound from the previous night had reopened and soaked through the bandage at some point in the night. He pulled off the soiled bandage and threw it away as he stepped into the shower. Closing his eyes, he let the hot water flow over his body. He opened his eyes when he began to feel light-headed and was surprised to see red water at his feet. Glancing at his arm, he could see that the cut had reopened again and was bleeding profusely. He cursed softly and turned off the water, dried off quickly and pulled on a pair of gym shorts lying on the floor from the day before.

With water still streaming down his bare back and chest from his wet hair, Gary sat on the floor and held a towel against his arm. He could feel himself growing more light-headed, realizing he was close to passing out, he called May's name, hoping she was still in the bed room.

--- --- ---

May heard the water turn off suddenly and glanced at the clock, it had only been a few minutes and she was surprised that her brother was already done. Several moments passed before she heard Gary call her.

Standing up, she walked to the bathroom door. "Are you alright?" She called softly.

She heard Gary sigh. "It's a matter of perspective." He replied.

She opened the door and stepped into the steamy bathroom, she didn't have to see the blood on the floor or the bloody towel that Gary was holding against his arm to see that something was wrong. Gary leaned back against the wall, wearing only a pair of black gym shorts, his face nearly white and his hands trembling slightly.

He moved the towel away from his arm enough for May to see the blood, she gasped and kneeled in front of him. She pulled away the towel and looked at the deep cut, glancing at her brother's face, she could see that he was close to passing out. Placing the towel back in place, she ran to the door, telling Gary to stay where he was.

--- --- ---

Tracey had just opened the door for Anna when he heard May call his name with panic in her voice. Anna pushed past him and ran towards the stairs at the sound of her voice; Tracey slammed the door shut and followed Anna up the stairs. Anna ran into Gary's bedroom past May and stopped in the bathroom, seeing the blood, she dropped at Gary's side and quickly pressed the towel against his arm more firmly. "Look at me." She commanded sharply as she turned Gary's chin gently to face her.

She looked up at May, who was urgently telling Tracey to get her first aid kit out of her bathroom. "Should we take him to a hospital?" Anna asked.

May shook her head, taking Gary's pulse. "He should be fine with stitches."

Anna looked at her with wide eyes. "You're going to give him stitches?" She asked.

"I help Grandpa treat the pokemon here all the time, I can do it." She said, taking the kit from Tracey. "Keep him from passing out." She commanded Tracey. Carefully threading the suture, she looked at Anna. "He hasn't eaten since yesterday."

Anna nodded and stood up, Tracey moved to her place and nervously looked at May.

"Don't faint on me, Gary." She said with a playful edge to her voice as she wiped blood away from the cut. "Don't watch," she added gently.

Remembering what Anna had done, Tracey told Gary to look at him. Holding his gaze, Tracey grasped Gary's other hand and waited for May to finish. May worked swiftly, occasionally asking her brother if he was ok. Glancing over May's shoulder, Gary saw Anna standing in the doorway, holding a glass of juice in one hand and a shirt in the other. May bandaged Gary's arm as Anna walked into the bathroom. Glancing down at the hand he was holding, Tracey noticed the scars lacing Gary's flesh. Suddenly understanding so much about him, Tracey looked back into Gary's eyes, knowing that those blue eyes had seen Tracey stare at the usually-hidden scars. Gary slid his hand out of Tracey's as Anna handed him the glass of juice. Drinking the juice slowly, Gary held Tracey's gaze, silently daring him to say something about the scars on his arms.

Suddenly feeling claustrophobic in the crowded bathroom, Gary stood shakily and walked into his bedroom. Placing the empty glass on his desk, he saw the plate of fruit Anna had brought in; ignoring the plate, he laid down on his bed.

"He's never needed stitches before." Anna said softly, staring down at the shirt she held in her hands. "What happened?" She asked May.

May sighed as she packed the first aid kit. "I was picking on him yesterday for not eating meat and he got really pissed and disappeared for awhile. He had the bandages on his arm but I thought it was just the usual, I guess the cut reopened when he was in the shower."

"He seemed really upset last night." Tracey added quietly.

"I haven't seen him so upset in a long time." May told Anna. "I think there's something bothering him that he's not telling anyone."

Anna nodded slowly, thinking. "I'll talk to him."

The three teens walked out of the bathroom, May handed Tracey the first aid kit and asked him to put it away. Nodding, Tracey took it and walked out of the room. May walked to the side of Gary's bed and kissed him on the forehead. "Feeling better?" She asked, receiving only a nod in response. "Get some rest, you lost a good amount of blood." She said, pushing a few stray strands of hair off of Gary's cheek. "Make sure he doesn't get into any trouble, Anna!" May called as she closed the bedroom door before walking back to her room.

Anna crawled across the bed and laid down next to Gary with her head on his chest. She offered him the shirt she was holding, surprised to see him refuse. Dropping it on the floor next to the bed, she draped her arm across Gary's waist and grasped his hand. Sighing softly, Gary shifted his weight and wrapped his free arm around Anna, hand smoothing her long hair.

Closing her eyes, Anna listened to Gary's steady heartbeat. "I like seeing you like this." She said suddenly, after a few minutes. Gary glanced at her questioningly and Anna laughed softly. "I mean when you're relaxed like you are right now. " She paused. "And I like you with your shirt off."

Gary chuckled softly and thought about what Tracey had asked him only two days ago. Why hadn't he and Anna ever dated when they had such a connection? When they so often lay like they currently were? Gary hated to admit it to himself, much less to Tracey, but the two could never date. He knew they were both too self-destructive to last in a serious relationship. The relationship they had now was a solid friendship. Both people could seek outside pleasure and not feel guilty, though Gary rarely sought pleasure from others now that he was away from school and his mischievous roommate.

Thinking of the fun times he had spent with Andrew, so many of them under the influence of alcohol, thinking of the feelings he felt when he was around Tracey, Gary suddenly felt realization strike him. Feeling as though a heavy weight had been lifted from his chest, Gary suddenly felt himself let go of so much built-up frustration that he hadn't even realized he'd been carrying with him.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

In May's memory of meeting Gary's friends, his roommate Andrew is playing the Children of Bodom song Bed Of Razors on one of Gary's guitars.


	8. Chapter 8: Admissions

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 8: Admissions

"Anna?" Gary said suddenly.

Anna didn't move her head from his chest and simply groaned in response, half asleep.

"Anna, I need to tell you something."

Anna raised her head and looked up at Gary. With her hand on his chest, she could feel his heartbeat suddenly speed up. "What is it?" She asked with a worried expression on her face.

"I'm… I think that I might be… bisexual." Gary said softly.

Anna looked up at him in shock as she took in his words. Suddenly understanding what he had said, a grin broke across her face. "Do you have any idea how long I've been fantasizing about seeing you with another guy?" She asked Gary incredulously. Gary's eyes widened and he suddenly began to laugh. "When did you realize this?" Anna asked.

"Just before I told you." Gary admitted, still laughing.

"What makes you think that you're bi?"

Gary stopped laughing and sat up, pulling a pillow into his lap and resting his bandaged arm on it. "You remember me telling you about my roommate Andrew?" He asked Anna.

Anna thought for a moment, trying to connect the name to the face. "The Alexi Laiho look-alike with the lip ring and the scars?" She asked.

Gary chuckled. "That's him." He paused, trying to think of exactly what to tell Anna. "We liked to joke around with each other a lot. Most of the jokes were really sexual; we would touch each other or tease each other. Then we got drunk one night, May was actually there, it was my seventeenth birthday. We started off just doing tequila shots –"

"- it always starts with shots." Anna laughed.

"- then Chris did a body shot off of Chelsea and Andrew decided to take his shirt off and pour a shot of vodka on him. So I did the body shot and I guess just got really into it. Anyway, later on I accidentally spilled the last of the vodka and Andrew pretended he was mad so Chelsea told us to kiss and make up."

"So you did?" Anna asked.

Gary smiled as he remembered in vivid detail what had happened next. "Andrew was sitting on the couch and I… straddled him and we kissed." He remembered the sensation of teasing the lip ring with his tongue, the way Andrew's hands on his back felt. "It was so intense, I had to get off of him and leave the room. He followed me and we ended up in the bathroom."

"Why the bathroom?" Anna asked suddenly.

"Because it would've been too obvious if we were in a bedroom." Gary said.

"So what happened?"

Feeling emboldened from telling her all that he already had, Gary told her the rest.

--- --- ---

_Andrew had grabbed Gary's hand in the hall and dragged him into the bathroom, pushing him against the wall, Andrew pressed his lips against Gary's. Utterly intoxicated by the kiss and alcohol, Gary grasped Andrew's hair and deepened the kiss. He groaned as Andrew's hands slipped under his shirt and slid up his back. Moving away from the wall, Gary pushed Andrew onto the closed toilet seat and straddled his waist once more. Andrew ground his hips against Gary, moaning into the kiss as he drew his nails down Gary's back. Gary placed his face against Andrew's neck, shuddering at the sensation of the sharp nails on his bare back. _

_Andrew tugged lightly at the edge of Gary's shirt, pulling it off as Gary pulled away. Frantically clawing at Andrew's shirt, Gary forgot about all inhibitions that he may have had. Andrew's hands slid slowly up Gary's back once more as his mouth found Gary's shoulder. Gary gasped loudly as Andrew bit down and began teasing the tender skin with his tongue. Gary quickly undid Andrew's belt and slid off of his waist. Kneeling before the other boy, Gary tugged Andrew's pants off quickly and placed his mouth on Andrew's erection. _

_Andrew gasped loudly and ran his hands through Gary's thick auburn hair as he teased the blonde boy with his tongue. Arching his back in pleasure and groaning, he could tell he wouldn't last with the sensation of Gary's tongue ring playing with him. Gary forced back a gag as Andrew suddenly came in his mouth but swallowed every drop, savoring the bitter taste of his friend._

_The second Gary moved his mouth off of the other boy, Andrew quickly leaned down and kissed him fiercely, enjoying the taste of himself mingling with the taste of Gary's lips. Sliding his legs over Gary's legs, he straddled the kneeling boy and kissed him deeply, slowly undoing his pants. _

"_Stand up." He whispered seductively in Gary's ear._

_Obliging to his wish, Gary stood and Andrew slid his pants down his legs; running his tongue gently down Gary's flat stomach until he reached his erection and slowly slid it into his mouth. He'd slowly teased the boy, running his hands down his back, enjoying the sound of Gary's fast breath and the feel of his long fingers tangling in his hair. _

_Utterly overcome by so many sensations, he came in Andrew's mouth and watched the boy swallow. Sliding down the wall to the floor, Gary leaned down and kissed Andrew softly. They sat on the floor panting, staring into each other's eyes and wondering whether or not the last half hour had really happened._

--- --- ---

Gary stopped talking, gazing at the wall while Anna took in everything that her friend had said.

"Damn." She said softly. "I never thought you would ever do anything like that, Gary."

Gary looked at her and was surprised to see the fire in her eyes. He'd seen that fire more times than he could count over the many years that they had known each other and this was the first time it had shocked him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him roughly, reveling in the heat of the moment as she felt the metal of his tongue ring run sliding across her tongue. Gary slid his hands down her back, breaking the kiss momentarily to pull her shirt off. Strengthened by the racing hormones, he pushed her onto her back and allowed his hands to wander while they kissed roughly.

Undoing Anna's pants, Gary was surprised at the sudden sensation of her nails running down his back. Shuddering at the sensation, he yanked her jeans down fiercely, never breaking their zealous kiss.

Anna slid the gym shorts over his narrow waist, whispering in his ear, "I want you."

Gary pulled back slightly so he could look at her, "I _need_ you." He said softly.

Nodding, Anna slipped off her panties and pulled Gary's hips towards hers.

It was fast, rough, and frenzied, neither one lasting long. Suddenly exhausted from the earlier predicament and from the sudden lack of adrenaline, it was all Gary could do to keep himself from collapsing on Anna after he came inside of her. Breath ragged, Anna traced the curve of Gary's jaw with her fingers, Gary turned his head slightly to kiss her hand. For a moment, they stayed like that, breathing heavily, cheeks flushed, skin slick from sweat.

Gary slid off of her and lay next to Anna with his eyes closed. Anna saw the still-untouched plate of fruit that she had placed on his desk and got up to get it.

Sitting back down on the bed, she placed the plate between them. "You should eat." She said gently, "We probably shouldn't have done that, with what happened earlier.

Gary opened his eyes and looked up at her, "I don't regret it." He said, reaching for an apple slice.

"You look so much happier than I've seen you in awhile." Anna said, after the fruit was gone. "I guess just telling me about everything helped?"

Gary suddenly looked somber. "There's still a lot of things I haven't told you, Anna." He said softly, toying with a lock of Anna's hair.

"Things that you've told May?" Gary shook his head. "Bad things?" A nod in response.

Anna sighed. "Is it about why you suddenly came home just before the semester started when you were about to start your next degree?"

Gary nodded, standing up and walking to his closet.

"Promise you'll tell me sometime before you go back to school?"

"Another day, Anna." Gary's voice drifted out of the closet.

--- --- ---

Tracey and May were silently eating breakfast when Gary suddenly came into the kitchen, wearing jeans and a loose-fitting black shirt with long sleeves with Anna behind him. May looked up at her brother, surprised by how suddenly he had returned to the confident, slightly-arrogant boy that hid what she knew to be an insecure and despondent child that had been forced to grow up too fast.

"Grandpa's coming home from that research convention tomorrow." May reminded Gary absently.

Gary said nothing, simply opening the refrigerator and tossing Anna a can of soda before pouring himself a glass of water which he drank greedily.

"I take it you're feeling better now?" May asked as Gary and Anna happily chatted about some sort of guitar.

Gary nodded, glancing at his sister while Anna continued what she was asking him. "But you already have six guitars, what the hell do you need another one for?"

Tracey looked up from the table increduosly. 'What in the world does one person need six guitars for?' He wondered to himself.

Gary grinned at Anna. "I don't have one tuned to C standard."

"You just want to play Cradle of Filth with a Paul Allender signature guitar." Anna scolded.

"Actually, I need one tuned to C standard to play Arch Enemy." Gary replied.

May rolled her eyes at Tracey. "This is what I deal with every day when he's home." She said with a soft laugh. "It's always music. Music, music, music."

Gary grinned at his sister. "I sense some jealousy," he said with a smirk.

"Nice to see you're back to your arrogant self, little brother. Just because I freely admit to the fact that you kick my ass at both guitar and piano doesn't mean I envy your abilities."

Gary merely smirked while Anna took his hand and led him out of the kitchen.

May and Tracey looked at each other in silence for a moment, neither knowing what to say.

Tracey cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the silence. "So, six guitars?" He asked.

May shook her head with a slight eye roll. "Seven. Anna forgot about the new one he got a few days after coming home."

Tracey's eyes widened. "Why on earth would he need that many?"

May sighed softly. "This is my brother we're talking about, he doesn't make much sense. Well, he does but it makes more sense to him than to anyone else. Every guitar he has is in a different tuning and every single one of them is different, the guitars themselves I mean. I think he just likes painting them, you should have him show you one day."

Looking out the window, Tracey could see Gary and Anna walking in the yard. A small smile spread across his face when he saw the two teens playfully shove each other, the smile disappearing when he saw Gary put his hands on Anna's hips and kiss her gently on the lips.

May stood and walked to the sink, silently washing the dishes as she watched her brother and Anna walk to the large maple tree holding hands. Anna plopped down under the tree and laid on her back with her long black, green-streaked hair fanning around her head; Gary sat facing her with his legs folded under him. She smiled, glad that Anna had come over that morning. She had a way of cheering up Gary with little effort and May knew that she was the only person Gary trusted more than his sister. Still, she was surprised that Anna's presence had caused Gary to act like himself in such a short amount of time – it had been only an hour between the time that May left her brothers room and the time that Gary had strode into the kitchen so casually and confidently, actually seeming happier than usual.

--- --- ---

Several hours later, May lay on her stomach on her bed idly reading while listening to one of her brothers Therion albums. There was a soft tapping sound on her door, glancing up, she saw Gary leaning against the door jamb.

"Hey." She said softly, wondering where Anna had gone to.

Gary smiled slightly in response, stepping into the room and closing the door gently behind him. He sat next to her, leaning back against the headboard; tilting the cover of May's book upward slightly to see the cover, he groaned. "_Wuthering Heights_? _Frankenstein_ is so much better."

"Yeah, but the scene where Catherine goes completely psychotic is one of the best scenes in literature." May said, turning a page.

Gary laughed softly. "_Frankenstein_'s still more interesting."

May smiled and continued reading while Gary lay down on his stomach, mindlessly fiddling with the edge of the purple comforter. Several minutes passed with a comfortable silence falling between the two siblings. Sighing softly, Gary rolled onto his back and gazed at the ceiling with his arms crossed behind his head. May sat up and set the book on her nightstand, watching her brother.

"Something on your mind?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah. The same thing I came in here to talk to you about." Gary replied, still gazing at the ceiling.

May smiled. "I figured you wanted more out of this visit than the simple pleasure of my company." She said lightly, waiting for her brother to work up the nerve to say what he wanted to.

Gary swallowed nervously, feeling his heart rate increasing. "Do you remember when you visited me at school for my birthday?" He asked finally.

May nodded. "It's a hard memory to forget, Gary." She said honestly.

Gary laughed, running a hand over his face. "We drank so much that night. I think Andrew and I finished off most of the vodka ourselves." He paused, feeling May's intense gaze on him. "That's actually exactly what I wanted to talk to you about."

May nodded, knowing that her brother was merely stalling actually showing more weakness than he wanted to.

Gary suddenly felt terrified and he had no idea why. He had told May so many things that he never told anyone else other than Anna and she had never judged him, never held anything against him. He'd told Anna earlier with little apprehension, why he was so nervous about telling his loving sister was beyond him.

Sensing his apprehension, May placed a hand on Gary's chest and could feel his heart pounding wildly. "What are you so scared of, Gary?" May whispered. "You know I won't judge you, no matter what you tell me."

Gaining confidence from her soft words and gentle smile, Gary sighed, feeling his fear escape him. "I'm bisexual."

May had sensed it coming and she smiled at her brother. "When you mentioned that night, I thought it might be about this." She admitted. "I thought you might be."

Suddenly worried, Gary sat up to face his sister. "Is it obvious?"

May laughed and patted his shoulder. "No, the thought wouldn't even cross my mind if I hadn't seen what happened between you and Andrew." She paused for a moment. "Though the tongue piercing automatically makes your sexuality questionable," she added with a playful tone.

Gary softly punched May's arm and leaned against the pillows on the bed. May noticed a difference in him already; it was very slight – a lack of tenseness in his muscles – you could only notice if you knew him very well.

"Did you already tell Anna?" May asked.

Gary nodded. "This morning."

"Is that why you felt so much better so quickly after everything this morning?"

"The sex helped." Gary replied casually with a shrug.

"Gary!" May scolded lightly. Sighing she said, "You shouldn't have had sex so soon after losing so much blood."

Gary merely chuckled and stood up, kissing his sister on the cheek. "I'm going to go lay down, I'm tired." He told her.

"I'm not surprised. I'll call you for dinner. Oh, and Gary?" She called as her brother placed his hand on the doorknob.

He looked back at May, his hand resting lightly on the knob.

"I'm proud of you." May said softly.

A genuine grin spread across Gary's face as he opened the door. "Thank you." He said so softly that May wasn't sure she had heard him at first.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

As far as Gary's large number of guitars goes, music is an enormous part of his life, providing him with a connection to his friends and, more importantly, his dead parents. Music is something that gives him some sort of stability and so he has a near-obsession with instruments, hence the many guitars. Anyway, we'll see later how big of a role music plays in his life (not for a few more chapters though!).

As far as the Therion album May was listening to when Gary came to talk to her goes, let's just say she was listening to Vovin. : )


	9. Chapter 9: Wishes

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 9: Wishes

Gary was laying on his stomach on his bed with his head resting on his crossed arms, dozing lightly. His laptop was sitting before him, playing music softly, while his long hair fanned across the keyboard. Tracey was surprised when he peeked through the open door to even find the other boy in the quiet room. Tracey knocked softly on the open door; Gary drowsily lifted his head with his hair obscuring most of his face. "I didn't mean to wake you." Tracey said softly.

"It's ok." Gary said, yawning.

"How are you feeling?" Tracey asked.

"Tired." Gary admitted. "What's up?"

Tracey shrugged. "Absolutely nothing. Can I come in?"

Gary nodded, sitting up and stretching his arms over his head. Tracey stepped into the room, watching as the bottom of Gary's loose shirt lifted slightly, exposing his flat stomach. Tracey wished he could see more. Tracey leaned against one of the bed posts while Gary sat back against the black and gray pillows, his intense gaze resting comfortably on Tracey. Glancing at the computer screen, Tracey saw a background picture of the northern lights spreading over a lake and mountains.

"What were you doing on your computer?" Tracey asked curiously, noting the several minimized windows at the bottom of the screen.

"Looking at pictures from Sinnoh." Tracey surprised that Gary hadn't said "nothing" in response as it seemed to be almost habit for him to do so.

"Did you have a lot of friends at your school?" Tracey asked as Gary pulled the computer into his lap.

"Mostly just my roommates. I had a few friends in the area around the school but I didn't like a lot of people in the school." Gary replied.

"You weren't popular?" Tracey asked, surprised.

Gary laughed, a short almost bitter laugh. "I was," he replied shortly. "That's why I didn't like so many people there."

Tracey smiled at the honest remark. "What were your friends like?"

Gary shook his head slightly. "You're just full of questions today," he remarked casually, pulling up a window on the computer. "You really want to know?"

Tracey nodded, genuinely curious about Gary's life when he wasn't at the house. He sat next to Gary and peered at the computer screen; there was a picture of a pretty girl with brown hair wearing shorts and an Arch Enemy shirt, holding a shot glass in one hand and making an obscene gesture at the camera with the other. "That's Chelsea, she was my lab partner. I told you about her." Gary said softly.

"Was she one of your roommates?" Tracey asked, eyeing her pretty face and long legs. She looked the kind of girl that a guy like Gary would pursue, he thought sadly.

Gary nodded, switching to a new picture. Tracey was surprised to see Gary in the picture with a boy with long blonde hair. Gary and the boy were both laughing and holding shot glasses, Tracey heard Gary explain that the boy was another roommate named Andrew. Tracey barely heard him though, he was staring the picture. Gary's hair was much longer than it currently was, extending past the middle of his back, he was wearing baggy jeans and, much to Tracey's surprise, a black tank top. Looking at Gary's laughing face in the picture he could see many more differences, namely black eyeliner accentuating the dark eyes that Tracey could feel watching him and several piercings. Tracey had never cared for facial piercings and was surprised at how the piercings emphasized Gary's attractive features; the lip ring in the center of his lower lip making the lips look so kissable, the barbell in the right eyebrow drawing attention to those carefully lined blue eyes, the small ring in the left nostril.

Looking at the boy sitting next to him, Tracey saw none of those piercings, only Gary's smooth pale skin and attractive features, the muscles visible in the picture obscured by the long sleeves of the black shirt.

"This wasn't very long ago." Gary said softly. "That was at a party the last day of finals week for our last semester."

'Only a few weeks before he came home.' Tracey thought to himself. "Do you still have those piercings?" He asked suddenly.

Gary nodded. "I usually only put them in at night just so the piercings don't close. My grandfather would be pissed if he found out about them; I'm surprised he hasn't said anything about the tongue ring yet."

The picture changed to another one of Gary and the blonde boy with Anna and May. They were somewhere outdoors and crowded, leaning against a barricade in front of a stage, holding drinks and looking laid back. Gary was wearing tattered looking jeans and a short-sleeved Iron Maiden shirt and had an arm around Anna, who was wearing shorts and a tank top.

"A concert?" Tracey asked, unable to picture Gary at one.

He nodded. "Last summer when May and Anna came up to Sinnoh for the break between semesters."

Tracey enjoyed sitting on Gary's bed, watching the pictures change. Gary's hair length seemed ever-changing in the photos, as were his piercings – sometimes there, sometimes not, sometimes only one or two were there. Tracey was surprised to see how many photos showed Gary wearing something other than his typical long-sleeved shirts and wondered what it was that caused Gary to dress differently around his friends at school than he did at home. He felt a fleeting burst of jealousy when he saw a picture from another concert; Gary and Andrew were shirtless with their skin slick with sweat, their black eyeliner smudged under their eyes. Gary was leaning against another barricade before a stage, this time with his arm across the shoulders of a pretty girl with long and curly black hair wearing only a pair of shorts and a black sports bra. Her hair was frizzy and damp while her skin was as moist as Gary's and Andrew's. He wished he was in her place.

"Was she your girlfriend or something?" Tracey asked, trying to sound casual.

Gary glanced at him, giving him a look that he couldn't quite read but felt that, somehow, Gary sensed his jealousy of the girl, before laughing. "No. That's Ashley, she's a lesbian. Interesting story behind how I found that out actually…" He added as an afterthought.

"Oh? Do tell."

Gary laughed again. "I know my reputation here precedes me so I don't have to explain in too great detail. Anyway, we were at a party and Andrew told me I should hook up with her because she's hot and fun, _completely_ leaving out the fact that she's not even into guys. I think you can figure out the rest."

Tracey laughed easily, taking the picture as evidence that their relationship hadn't been hurt by the incident. He wondered whether or not he should say what he was thinking, but decided to go for it. "Something similar to that happened for May to find out that I'm gay." He admitted, Gary raised his eyebrows slightly. "We weren't at a party and no one encouraged anyone but you get the idea. May and Bella are the only ones here that know about it, I think."

Gary nodded, with a slightly distant look in his eyes. "I don't how my grandfather would react to things like that if he found out," he said quietly.

"Speaking of Professor Oak, I'll be glad when he's back from that convention and done with those damn reports," Tracey said. "I've been so bored with nothing to do in the lab."

Gary rolled his eyes and groaned. "I won't," he said, Tracey could hear a sad undertone to the words.

Tracey looked quizzically at Gary while he snapped the laptop shut and placed it on his desk. Leaning against the desk Gary sighed, running his hands through his hair dejectedly. He wondered momentarily if he should explain or not. 'To hell with it, he saw what happened this morning, what difference does telling him make?' He thought.

"As soon as he comes back, he's going to be on my case about school." Gary explained, distractedly gazing at the piano across the room. "He's disappointed that I came home when I did."

"Why is that?" Tracey asked softly.

Gary didn't answer for several minutes and Tracey wondered if he was simply ignoring the question. "I was supposed to start on my master's degree at school this semester. I left to come home the day that the semester started." He paused.

"You dropped out?" Tracey asked.

Gary shook his head almost imperceptibly. "I withdrew."

"Why?"

Gary heaved a sigh and sat down at the desk. "I just got overwhelmed. I mean, I had just spent two years working my ass off non-stop at the hardest school there is. I'm only seventeen; most people my age are still in high school or are doing something with pokemon – some sort of internship like you or training somewhere – but no, here I am, about to start working towards a _masters _degree! College is hard enough for most people, but try being thrown into it when you're only fifteen and on top of that, you're taking five or six hard as hell science classes! It never stops until you finish the degree, six back-to-back semesters of twenty credit hours. And on top of that, you have to keep your grades and GPA up or else…" Gary trailed off suddenly, realizing how shrill his voice sounded. Taking a calm breath, he continued in a flat voice. "It's enough to drive anyone crazy; it's enough to overwhelm anyone. That's why I came home, I needed a break. I just wish he could realize that I can't – I'm not ready to go back."

"Why don't you talk to him about it?" Tracey asked, watching Gary as the walls suddenly slid back into place.

Gary scoffed. "He has a habit of not listening." He said, turning back to the computer.

May suddenly appeared in the doorway. "Dinner's ready," she said simply.

Tracey stood up and walked to the door, glancing behind him as Gary sighed wearily and remained seated. May quietly told Tracey she would be downstairs in a minute.

"What's wrong?" She asked Gary as she walked over to the desk.

"Nothing. My arm just hurts."

May nodded and carefully rolled up the left sleeve of the black shirt, examining the stitches. "It was a bit of a shallow cut for stitches," May admitted, "I might even be able to take them out sometime tomorrow night."

Gary nodded. "You're not going to tell Grandpa about this, are you?"

May sighed, looking down into Gary's worried eyes. "No, I won't. But you should tell him about this one day."

"About the stitches or – "

"About everything, Gary," May cut him off, tousling his hair.

Gary groaned in response as May dragged him to his feet. "Dinner," she said shortly.

--- --- ---

It was the early hours of the morning and Gary was lying on his bed, gazing at the ceiling, unable to sleep. He had been lying like this, wearing only boxers and a loose long-sleeved shirt, listening to calming classical music and thinking of many different things, since midnight and it was now going on four. He hated to admit it, but he wished his grandfather would stay out of town for awhile longer. It had been a long week and part of him was grateful that the professor was off at a convention; the other part of him was saddened and wished that his grandfather had been there to see what a wreck he was.

Licking his lips, deep in thought, he felt his tongue strike against the cool metal of his lip ring – he hadn't lied when he told Tracey about his piercings that afternoon. Thinking of what May had said that afternoon, he sighed. He knew that his grandfather would eventually find out about everything, including the cutting, whether Gary told him outright or did something careless like wearing something that revealed his forearms around his grandfather. The last thing he wanted to do was tell the old man, he could almost see the disappointment in his eyes just thinking of telling him.

He wished like hell that his parents were still alive. If only they were around, he would probably have the strength to continue school. He probably wouldn't have to hide his forearms, with flesh laced by scars. Things would be so different.

Gary knew the past couldn't be changed, no matter how fervently he wished it could be.

He sighed again, remembering why it was that he was here, in Pallet, rather than in Sinnoh.

--- --- ---

_The past two weeks had passed quickly and the next semester was fast approaching. Gary could feel the stressful time looming ahead forebodingly and he wished that he didn't have to go ahead with the next few semesters. _

_He hadn't been himself recently, he knew, since midterms of the final semester, he had been withdrawn, lashing out at people who disturbed him while he was studying or brooding. He rarely even acknowledged the sexual advances of girls at parties, only turning to Andrew under the heavy influence of alcohol. The end of finals week had caused him to snap out of the morose mood he had perpetually been in but now he was sliding back into it._

_He was overwhelmed. His world felt like it was coming undone. _

_That's what had driven him to do what he had done. _

_They – Gary, Chelsea, Andrew, and Chris – had been drinking a lot that night, they were having fun but Gary felt lost, alone, unable to find a foothold in the oncoming avalanche that was the future. He had waited until everyone else had gone to bed, then he found the bottle of painkillers, they were from earlier that year when Gary had gotten appendicitis and had to have surgery – fortunately at the beginning of the semester, before the work load increased dramatically. There were still many pills left._

_He took them all and lay on his bed. Tears slowly, steadily, made their way down his pale cheeks; he didn't bother wiping them away._

_He thought of how he gotten to this point, exhausted, jaded, lonely. He missed May and Anna – the two people who had always been beacons of light at the end of a dark tunnel. He would miss them terribly. He felt terrible that they wouldn't get a proper explanation. He thought of his grandfather, the professor would be disappointed of course._

_Finally feeling the pills take effect, he thought of how this would affect Anna. Anna, his angel of sin, the fiery beauty that constantly held him back from the edge of the abyss._

_He couldn't do it. He couldn't possibly go through with it, he realized._

_Forcefully pushing himself from his bed, he rushed to the bathroom. He had forced himself to vomit continuously, until there was a knock at the door._

"_Gary? Are you ok?" It was Andrew. "Answer me, Gary."_

_It took every ounce of willpower in his being to answer. "No." He said, just loud enough for Andrew to hear._

_Andrew had pushed the bathroom door open just as Gary could feel himself slipping into unconsciousness._

_He had awakened in the hospital the next day, his roommates in the room with him. They had told him what had happened, confirming that this was no dream that he would wake from. He left the hospital a few days later and withdrew from the school. He called May that day and told her he was coming home, he didn't say why or for how long. _

--- --- ---

He closed his eyes and sighed softly, feeling ashamed of what he had done. He had often felt like telling May or Anna the truth of why he had suddenly come home but he was scared. He didn't want to admit to himself that it had truly happened.

Several moments passed before Gary suddenly stood up, waking up Umbreon, who was sleeping at the edge of the bed. The black pokemon watched as her trainer pulled on a pair of gym shorts and running shoes. Gary pulled his hair back tightly and grabbed his Zune off of the desk.

He gave Umbreon a significant look. "Do you want to come or do you want to sleep?" He asked.

Umbreon stretched and jumped off of the bed, walking haughtily to the door before her trainer. "I take it you're coming." Gary said, opening the door and turning off the light.

They walked silently down the stairs and out the backdoor in the kitchen. Gary leaned against the outside wall, slipping on his headphones and turning the Zune onto the shuffle setting. The two set off into the early morning, Umbreon staying only a few paces ahead of her trainer, her yellow rings lighting the path ahead. The sky was the deep gray of early morning, with dawn only a few hours away, clouds obscured the stars and the distant finger-nail moon. The air was cool, probably only in the sixties, but it felt relieving as it struck Gary's face as he ran.

They stopped at the top of a hill at the edges of Pallet, looking down at Route One sprawling before them among vast fields accented with small patches of forest. The sky had lightened considerably and Gary was finally beginning to feel tired. Umbreon looked up at Gary, her red eyes questioning. Understanding, Gary nodded. "Yeah, we'll go home now." He said, turning in the direction they had just come.

The sun was just beginning to rise as Gary and Umbreon reached the house. Looking at the clock in the kitchen as he filled a bowl with water for Umbreon, Gary saw that it was nearly six. They had been gone for nearly two hours and he wondered how it was possible that they had run that far and yet he was hardly out of breath.

Gary was slowly drinking a glass of water when Tracey walked in wearing only boxers, his hair sleep-tousled. Tracey stopped when he saw Gary leaning casually against the counter, his cheeks flushed and hair pulled away from his face revealing the piercings he had seen in the photo earlier. Gary raised his eyebrows at Tracey's sudden appearance in the kitchen as the boy took a glass out of the cabinet next to Gary.

"What are you doing up so early?" Tracey asked with a yawn as he poured a glass of water.

"Early?" Gary asked. "I haven't even slept yet."

"You went for a walk?" Tracey asked, eyeing Gary through sleepy eyes.

"No, I went running because I couldn't sleep."

Gary placed his empty glass in the sink and stretched as he eyed Tracey's bare torso. The older boy was more stocky than Gary was and lacking in the muscle definition that the younger boy had. Nonetheless, he was attractive, Gary found his thoughts drifting as he watched Tracey drain the glass of water.

Tracey sighed, as he placed his glass in the sink next to Gary's. "I'm going back to bed." He said simply. "I woke up practically dying of thirst and couldn't go back to sleep." He explained, meeting Gary's cool blue eyes.

Nodding, Gary followed him out of the kitchen has he stifled a yawn. Once in his bedroom, Gary slowly stripped off his sweaty clothes and stepped into the shower and let the warm water soothe his tense muscles. The run had cleared his head and left him slightly exhausted and the sensation of the warm water flowing over his body made him drowsy. He quickly washed his hair and rinsed the sweat off with vanilla scented soap – something that his roommate Chris had always picked on him for; not that he cared though, the scent was soothing to him. After changing into clean boxers and a fresh shirt, Gary quickly wrote a note explaining to May that he hadn't slept until seven and asking her not to bother him until at least two and taped it to his door.

Lying down as the sun rose steadily outside the windows with their closed curtains, Gary finally felt sleep take over him as Umbreon curled up next to her trainer.

--- --- ---

May had invited all five of the girls over to welcome her grandfather back home from the convention he had been at in the Hoenn region for the past week. She sat in the living room chatting with Bella and Michelle while Kate looked bored, slightly disappointed when she found out that Gary was sleeping. Rachael and Anna hadn't arrived yet, May figured Rachael was waiting on Anna to get up since she often slept until noon and it was now one. Tracey had left to pick up the professor from the airport nearly a half hour ago, something May would've had Gary do if it wasn't for his inability to do the speed limit or listen to music at a reasonable volume. Not that it mattered, considering her little brother was currently dead asleep in his room.

Anna and Rachael walked into the room close to two-thirty, looking as though they had been arguing. May explained to Anna that Gary was still sleeping, knowing she would soon seek him out to complain about whatever she and her sister had been arguing about. Glancing at the clock and realizing her grandfather would soon be home, May told Anna she could wake him up.

--- --- ---

Gary woke to a pair of lips pressing against his, long hair smelling like strawberries tickling his face. He didn't have to open his eyes, or even taste the sweet watermelon lip gloss to know who the girl straddling him was. Only one person would wake him like that.

Opening his eyes, he gazed into Anna's hazel eyes. "I wish I could wake up to this every day." He said with a grin, feeling suddenly wide awake.

"May told me to wake you up." Anna said as she lowered her lips to his once more, pulling the drapes around the bed closed around them.

"I am up." Gary sighed as Anna ran her hands along his chest under his shirt.

"In more ways than one." Anna giggled, sliding her hand into his boxers, smiling at the groan the move elicited.

--- --- ---

May was wondering where Anna and her brother were as Tracey pulled into the driveway with her grandfather in the passenger seat. She happily greeted her grandfather as he walked into the room. Her smile disappeared when he asked where Gary was.

"Last I checked, sleeping. I'll go get him." She said, turning on her heel and marching up the stairs, opening Gary's bedroom door roughly and glaring at the pulled curtains around the bed.

--- --- ---

Gary froze mid-thrust above Anna as he heard his sister open the door angrily.

"Gary!" She nearly shouted.

"May, do you have any idea how bad your timing is?" Gary replied, his eyes wide.

Hearing her march across the room to the bed, Gary anticipated her next move and grabbed the slight part in the curtains just as she did.

Feeling her brother's hand holding the curtains closed only irritated May more.

"Gary," she hissed.

"May, ten minutes." Responded his calm voice.

"Gary." She hissed with even more venom, trying to pull open the curtains that were gripped in Gary's hand.

"May, ten minutes!" He said impatiently, knowing his sister was furious with him.

May's hand dropped from the curtain as she spun around and stormed out of the room.

--- --- ---

"He'll be down in a few minutes." May said through clenched teeth as she walked back into the living room.

Wondering what could have made her so angry, Tracey frowned. Rachael shook her head in disbelief and disgust while Bella and Michelle smirked knowingly. Kate's saddened look didn't escape Tracey's notice. After fifteen minutes, May sent Tracey to get her brother, claiming she was too annoyed with him to do it herself.

Tracey was about to knock on the bedroom door when Gary suddenly emerged, pulling a shirt on. Gary froze, startled at coming face-to-face with Tracey.

"May told me to see what was taking you so long." Tracey explained lamely as he saw Anna pulling on her jeans behind Gary.

Pulling the door shut behind him, Gary pushed past Tracey in the narrow hallway and walked quickly down the stairs, tying his hair back in a desperate attempt to look presentable for his grandfather, knowing all too well that Anna's scent was clinging to him.

He had just finished greeting his grandfather when suddenly – "Gary, I need to talk to you."

Surprised at the harshly-spoken words that had just escaped Kate's mouth, he turned to her confused. Feeling several pairs of eyes on them, Gary shrugged and replied calmly. "Let's go outside."

Kate all but dragged him outside, clearly angry with him but Gary had no idea why.

"What's wrong?" Gary asked with concern in his voice once they were standing beneath the tree that they usually hung out under.

Kate glared up at him. "As if you don't know." She said derisively, so out of character for her.

Gary remained calm as he felt the waves of anger rolling off of the girl before him. "No, Kate, I don't know."

Kate turned away from him, shaking her head. Suddenly she turned back to Gary, looking far angrier than before. "You and Anna!" She suddenly exclaimed. "What is it with you two? Every time I turn around, you're showing up having just fucked her – "

"Kate, stop." Gary interrupted, understanding where the conversation was going.

"No! What the hell, Gary? You can sleep with her but not with me. Not even when we were going out, you screwed around with her and then went on dates with me."

"Kate, be reasonable." Gary said with a sigh, not meeting her eyes.

"I'm the only one in the group you refuse to do anything with, with the exception of May but sometimes I wonder about – "

"Leave May out of this." Gary said with narrowed eyes.

Kate stared at the ground, saddened by what she knew went on between Gary and Anna. "Why?" She asked softly. "Out of all of the girls you've been with, why is Anna the one you keep running back to?"

Hearing the sadness in her voice, Gary reached out and tilted her chin up so he could see her eyes. "Kate, I don't have an answer to that. I don't know why you're suddenly so angry over this; we broke up over two years ago, we only dated for a few weeks." Kate merely sighed and glared at him. "Don't give me that look." Gary said, sounding weary. "Look, I wish I could tell you that I'm sorry about everything between me and Anna, but I can't because that would be a lie and you don't deserve to be lied to."

Kate snorted at his words. "And you've never lied to me before, huh?"

Gary sighed and chose his words carefully. "Kate, I've lied to everyone, including myself. I wish like hell I could take back everything I did with Anna when I was going out with you, but I can't. I wish I could give you what you want, but I can't. I can't even figure out what it is I want, how can you expect me to fulfill everyone else's wishes before I can even fulfill my own?"

Kate met his eyes. "Why Anna?" She asked again.

"Because she's the person that keeps me alive." Gary said softly, surprising himself.

'What the hell are you thinking?' Gary's mind screamed at him as he turned suddenly and walked back to the house.

He walked past the four girls, his grandfather, and Tracey, who all pretended that they hadn't been watching, and disappeared up the stairs.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

In the scene with Tracey and Gary looking at pictures, the whole part between Gary telling Tracey about his piercings and Tracey complaining about being bored with nothing to do in the lab before Gary explains that he quit school was added in after the original posting. I introduced a new minor character here (Ashley) who will eventually turn up again later in the story but not for quite awhile. I originally intended on introducing her later but when I decided that the photo scene needed more to it, I decided to bring her in briefly.


	10. Chapter 10: Shock Part 1

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 10: Shock Part 1

A few weeks passed since Professor Oak had come back from the research convention with little happening. Tracey had hung out with Gary several more times, each time feeling more like the boy trusted him somewhat more than most people. They had gone for ice cream several times and Tracey had caught onto what Gary's favorite things at the ice cream shop were. They had gone to the bookstore with Anna and Tracey couldn't help but laugh as the three of them looked through magazines and books on the occult, joking and playfully flirting with each other the whole time. Gary hadn't had any outbursts of anger, nor had he cut himself in the past few weeks. May had removed the stitches in his arm the day after the professor had returned home and Tracey noticed how much more relaxed Gary had been recently. Kate hadn't been around since the talk she'd had with Gary. Tracey had asked Gary about the talk they'd had, expecting Gary to brush off the question, he was surprised that he answered honestly and told Tracey that she was angry with him about Anna. Tracey had apologized for not minding his own business but Gary had simply shrugged and said the argument had been coming on for years.

Tracey leaned against the wall in Gary's bathroom one night, wearing only a pair of black boxers with pokeballs on them, watching Gary carefully put the barbell in his eyebrow. Gary was wearing only boxers and a long-sleeved t-shirt, too preoccupied with the piercing to notice as Tracey admired his body. Tracey had realized that he enjoyed watching Gary do even small tasks like this one and he was happy the closely-guarded boy allowed him close enough to do so.

Tracey had often found himself longing to feel the long fingers that so often flew across a keyboard or fret board caress his body, to feel the heated gaze that so often followed Anna from across a room on himself, to feel that tongue ring slide across his tongue as those perfect lips caressed his own. He'd stayed up many nights thinking of those images, shuddering as he touched himself. He wondered if Gary could see the way he looked at him, if he could sense Tracey's longing. Gary had often acted flirtatiously around him and often wondered if his longing was not one-sided.

Gary watched Tracey's reflection in the mirror as he carefully slid his lip ring into place, knowing the older boy was taking in his every move – as always. He had surprised himself by being so open with Tracey; May didn't even know about his piercings and, though he was sure Anna had noticed the piercings, he had never told her about them or shown them to her.

Tracey closed his eyes momentarily, forcing erotic thoughts out of his head, knowing Gary was watching him. He listened to the music playing from Gary's computer in the bedroom; judging by the female vocals, the complex keyboards, and simple drums, he guessed it was Nightwish – he had gotten used to much of Gary's music and found himself liking several of the bands. Gary's voice forced him to open his eyes.

"That day May stitched up my arm. I know you saw the scars," he said softly. Surprised, Tracey didn't say anything. He hadn't expected Gary to ever verbally acknowledge what Tracey had seen. "I'm surprised you never said anything about it." Gary pressed.

"It's not my place to say anything." Tracey said quietly, meeting Gary's sharp eyes.

Gary seemed to accept this response, as he nodded with a smile that Tracey didn't quite understand. "I knew a girl back home who used to cut herself. She always wore long sleeves; she told me that she was ashamed of the scars." Tracey said.

Gary understood the implication. "I'm not ashamed of them." He said defensively, Tracey doubted this but let it go.

"Why do you cover them then?"

Unable to think of an answer, Gary sighed and shrugged. "I don't know." He admitted. "I don't think my grandfather would be very thrilled to see them all the time."

"You let your worries of his disappointment dictate your life." Tracey said softly.

Gary was shocked to hear the words come from his friend's mouth. Narrowing his eyes, he turned to face Tracey. "I'm not afraid of him being disappointed," he said sharply.

Tracey simply held his hands up in surrender. "Don't be mad at me," Tracey began slowly, choosing his words carefully. "But you hide your scars, you hide your piercings from him, you hide the fact that you're not ready to go back to school from him. It seems like you _are_ worried about him not approving of you. You shouldn't let it rule who you are." Ignoring Gary's fierce gaze, he continued. "You're so secretive, I wonder what else you're hiding from everyone."

Gary walked past Tracey into his room and sat on his bed, eyeing Tracey warily with cool eyes. Tracey sighed and walked to Gary, standing in front of him.

"I understand that you're cautious by nature and I understand that you've been through a lot in your life. The scars on your arms speak enough for the latter." Tracey was picking his words carefully, not wanting Gary to suddenly close himself off behind those walls that so often kept everyone away. "I appreciate that you've allowed me as close to you as you have, I really do. But I wish you would stop pushing people away, I can tell just by the way that you act that you never let people close enough to understand what is going on in your head. I just wish you wouldn't hide so much of yourself from me."

Gary sighed and, to Tracey's surprise, suddenly pulled the long-sleeved shirt over his head. He held his arms out for Tracey to see the scars lacing the flesh.

"I'm not hiding from you." The words were soft, almost defeated.

Taken aback, Tracey took Gary's hands into his own and looked down at the scarred forearms. The sheer number of scars shook Tracey and he was rendered speechless. Remembering what he had once seen Anna do, Tracey lowered his head and gently placed a kiss on each forearm. Allowing Gary to slowly slide his hands from Tracey's, the two boys met each other's eyes. Tracey could see the shock apparent on Gary's face, whatever he had expected, it certainly wasn't this.

"When did you start?" Tracey asked softly.

"When I was twelve," Gary said after a moment of hesitation.

"Almost six years," Tracey murmured. "You've been doing it since then?"

Gary sighed. "I stopped for awhile a few times. I only did it once the entire time I was doing my research internship at Sayda Island before going to school."

Tracey nodded silently. "You probably don't want to hear this," Tracey began as Gary pulled the shirt back on. "But I think you should talk to your grandfather about this." Gary slumped back against the pillows on his bed, closing his eyes. Tracey sat on the bed next to him. "I know you don't want to, but it would make you feel better. Your grandfather isn't going to hate you or anything, to be honest, he'll probably appreciate the fact that you opened up to him." Gary opened his eyes to glare half-heartedly at Tracey. Not at all fazed by this, Tracey pushed on. "Telling him how you feel about school would get him off of your back."

Gary sighed and rolled over, indicating that the conversation was over. Tracey stood up feeling accomplished. "See you in the morning." He said as he walked into the hallway and closed the door behind him.

--- --- ---

Tracey lay awake in bed for several hours that night, thinking of what had happened between him and Gary. It was because of this that he woke several hours later than usual. As he walked down the hall to the staircase, he was surprised to see that Gary wasn't in either his bedroom or the music room, or May's room.

Wandering aimlessly through the house, Tracey found Gary in the living room laying on his stomach on the couch watching an episode of Scrubs on tv looking bored. May sat on an arm chair near him reading a book, occasionally looking up to watch the tv. The episode ended and Gary turned off the tv with a sigh, tossing the remote onto the floor a few feet away. He rolled onto his back a stared at the ceiling as Tracey entered the room and sat on another armchair, watching Gary try to find a comfortable position. Tracey smiled in amusement as Gary got tangled in the blanket on the couch and tumbled onto the floor with a slight yelp; May laughed outright as her brother chuckled softly, maintaining his position on the floor next to the couch.

"What's wrong, Gary? Couch giving you troubles?" Tracey teased.

Gary tilted his head back to see Tracey in the seat behind him. "I'm bored," he said simply.

"Watch out, he's in a whiney mood." May said.

Anna stepped into the room at that moment. She took in the scene before her and shook her head, stepping over Gary to sit on the couch. "What are you doing on the floor?" She asked.

Gary groaned. "Long story."

May laughed softly. "Actually it's a very short story. He fell."

"And now he's whining that he's bored." Tracey added.

Anna laughed, leaning her head over the side of the couch so that her hair fell in Gary's face, smiling as he swatted it away. "Want to go to the mall?" She asked.

Gary stood up and stretched. "Sure." He looked at Tracey. "Want to come?"

Tracey nodded. "I have to get dressed first."

--- --- ---

Tracey and Anna sat in the kitchen, waiting on Gary so they could go to the mall. Tracey had dressed quickly and was wondering what could possibly be taking Gary so long when he was just putting on his shoes and grabbing his wallet and sunglasses.

--- --- ---

Gary stood before the mirror in his bathroom, not sure who he was trying to impress – Anna or Tracey – with his dress. He had suddenly felt daring when he entered his room and dug through his closet until he found the black tank top that he was now wearing. He knew May and Anna had never seen him like this and that Tracey had only seen it in a picture and he didn't know how they would react. Opening a drawer, he pawed around until he found an eyeliner pencil; leaning close to the mirror, he carefully applied the black makeup to eyes. He smiled as he finished putting the piercings in place and tried to imagine what Anna's reaction would be.

--- --- ---

May froze in the hallway when she saw her brother come down the stairs. He was wearing his dark sunglasses and his hair concealed his face as he carefully kept his head down. That wasn't what surprised her – what shocked her was the tank top.

Keeping his head down as he saw the shock on May's face, he walked right past her into the kitchen where Anna and Tracey were waiting on him. May followed him as he shook his hair out of his face and took off the sunglasses.

--- --- ---

"Ready to go?"

Tracey and Anna turned at the haughty voice behind them, Tracey could feel his eyes widen.

"Holy shit, Gary." Anna said softly as Gary's smirk turned into a shy smile. "You look hot. Where did the piercings come from?"

May stepped in front of her brother and examined him critically.

"I've had them for awhile. I was only wearing them at night for the past few weeks." He said softly.

Tracey silently took in the camouflage cargo pants with the black tank top, the studded belt and the chain connecting to Gary's wallet in his back pocket. Gary smirked at Tracey, enjoying the fact that the boy was openly checking him out. "Like what you see?" He asked so quietly that only Tracey could hear as he walked past the boy to the garage door.

Tracey nodded mutely, taken aback by how attractive Gary looked with that arrogant smirk on his face emphasized by the lip ring. Gary opened the garage door and climbed into the car, waiting on Tracey and Anna to follow him. Tracey climbed into the front seat while Anna positioned herself in the middle of the backseat as she babbled about how sexy she thought Gary looked. Gary blushed slightly as he met Tracey's eyes while Tracey flipped though the cd case, looking for the cd the two boys had listened to when they went to pick up takeout for dinner a few days before. Smiling when he found the cd, he slid it out of the case and slipped it into the stereo, removing the Arch Enemy cd that was already in. Anna grinned as the music came on.

"Sinergy." She said appraisingly. "Good choice." Looking at Gary she continued. "You did a good job of converting him to metal."

Gary grinned as the car quickly accelerated. "Which mall?" He asked.

"Viridian." Anna replied, taking the cd case from Tracey and flipping through it.

--- --- ---

Gary flipped through the cds in the metal section of the music store idly as Tracey watched.

"Have it, have it, have it." A sigh. "Have the entire discography… Ugh, Slayer!"

Tracey watched as Gary picked up the cds by the band that he evidently didn't like and placed them in the pop section of the store. Anna complained that Gary was insulting a band that she liked. Gary argued that they had less musical abilities than a jigglypuff.

Tracey never ceased to be amused by the banter that went on between Gary and Anna, even when he hung out with them several times a week and heard it for hours on end. After spending nearly an hour searching through every cd in the metal section, Gary and Anna concluded that there was nothing that they liked and didn't already own and decided to get lunch.

Tracey sat back in his chair at the food court, watching Anna coax stories from school out of Gary. With a significant look that wasn't lost on Tracey, Anna suddenly asked Gary a question that made the boy freeze.

"So, Gary, at any of those college parties, did you ever kiss a guy?"

Gary's muscles tensed visibly as he and Anna met each other's eyes. Finally he sighed and took a long sip from his bottle of water. Meeting Tracey's eyes over their drinks, Gary replied. "Yes."

Tracey could feel his eyes widen at the answer. "How drunk were you?" He asked with a slight laugh.

Gary coughed lightly. "I wasn't."

Anna frowned. "You said you guys had a lot to drink, tequila and vodka, remember?"

Gary met her eyes calmly, surprising even himself with his honesty. "That was more than a kiss, Anna," he reminded her.

Tracey couldn't stop himself from staring at Gary in surprise. "So… uh, you're bisexual?" He asked, attempting to sound casual.

Gary wasn't fooled by Tracey's would-be-casual question. "Yes."

--- --- ---

Tracey was aware of the fact that things had suddenly changed. He wondered what had a greater effect on Gary's behavior, what he had told the boy last night or Anna's presence combined with her big mouth. They arrived back at the house late in the afternoon and May and Professor Oak weren't anywhere on the first floor when they walked into the house. Tracey leaned against the wall in the hallway and watched Gary gently push Anna towards the stairs.

"I'll be up there in a minute," he said quietly. Turning to Tracey who was a few feet away, Gary felt his lips quirk into a familiar smirk as he tossed his hair over his shoulder – a feminine move, he knew, but it got Tracey's attention.

Tracey was all too aware of his pounding heart as Gary stalked closer to him.

Stopping directly in front of Tracey, Gary let his eyes pierce the older boy. "Enjoy yourself today?" He asked softly, their faces only a few inches away.

"Yes." Tracey said softly.

"Are you surprised?" Gary's voice was low and sent shivers through Tracey.

"Yes." Tracey breathed, intoxicated by how close Gary was to him.

Gary grinned suddenly and pulled back. "Good."

Tracey cursed to himself as Gary walked up the stairs, glancing over the railing to see Tracey looking disappointed.

--- --- ---

A few days later, Tracey was sitting on May's window seat, watching the girl carefully apply mascara. They were chatting about random trivial things when Gary suddenly appeared in the doorway, quietly asking if he could speak to May privately. Tracey obliged and left the room, squeezing past Gary in the doorway.

Gary sat on the edge of May's bed, watching her finish applying the mascara before closing the tube and placing it back in the vanity drawer.

"How do I look?" She asked Gary, turning to face him.

Gary smiled slightly. "Gorgeous, as always." It was a phrase he'd used with many girls, genuinely meaning it rarely; he always meant it when he said it to his sister. Her long wavy hair, only a few shades lighter than Gary's flowed over her bare shoulders and cascaded down the back of her blue strapless top. Her deep blue eyes were carefully lined with black liner, carefully shaded by a pale purple shadow. Her pretty lips accentuated only by a simple gloss; she was one of those girls who could roll out of bed and look beautiful, if a bit rumpled.

Glancing at his reflection in her mirror, Gary was reminded of how similar they looked. Their hair was nearly the same, May's slightly lighter with a natural wave to it while Gary's fell perfectly straight. Their eyes were the exact same shape, Gary's were lighter while May's were such a deep blue that they sometimes looked black. They had the same nose, same cheekbones – Gary looked away from his reflection, not liking the slightly hollow look in his eyes.

"Are you going out somewhere?" Gary asked, eyeing the makeup.

"No. It's Michelle's birthday, remember? I told you yesterday that we were having a party tonight."

Gary cursed under his breath, remembering now. Michelle's birthday had slipped his mind, again, for at least the third year in a row. He would have to run to the mall in Viridian again to get a last minute gift.

"I take it that's not what you're here to talk about." May said, her eyes serious as she took in her brother's somber expression. She sat on the bed next to Gary, swinging her feet slightly as they hung several inches over the floor. Gary smiled slightly when he noticed she was wearing the light blue Converses with purple laces that he had gotten her for her last birthday.

Sighing Gary shook his head. He looked around his sister's room, taking in the soothing pallet of blues and purples that decorated her neat room.

Sighing once more, Gary finally spoke. "I'm going to tell Grandpa today." He said softly, tugging at a loose string on May's comforter. Looking up at his sister, he pushed on. "But there's something I need to tell you first – "

May interrupted. "I know you're scared about telling him but – "

Gary held up his hand, cutting her off. "Please don't interrupt me, May." He said softly. "I really don't want to talk about this but I need to and if you start talking then I won't be able to finish."

May nodded, pushing a stray strand of hair behind Gary's ear. Gary was silent for a few moments, looking as though he couldn't figure out where to start. "Is this about school?" May asked softly, trying to nudge her brother towards a starting point.

Gary nodded morosely before plunging into it. "I told you I was sick and had to be in the hospital for a few days before I came home." He hesitated before continuing softly. "I lied." May raised a thin eyebrow slightly but didn't say anything. "I was in the hospital and, yeah, I was sick but… I made myself sick." Gary paused, his voice growing quieter, May looked confused.

Gary hung his head, letting his hair slide forward to cover his face. "I tried to kill myself," he whispered.

May felt her eyes widen, wondering if she had heard correctly. She silently held one of Gary's hands as words began to tumble out of his mouth. "I was so overwhelmed by everything and I was scared about everything coming up so I took the pills from when I was sick last September. I missed you and I missed Anna and – I just missed you guys so much – I couldn't do it so I puked up all the pills and woke up in the hospital with Andrew and Chris and Chelsea telling me what had happened."

May silently hugged her brother as Gary tried to calm his rapid breathing. "God, Gary, I didn't realize you were going through all of this." She whispered as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Gary raised his head and looked at her with solemn eyes. May sighed and placed a hand against his cheek, forcing a smile as she fiercely fought back tears. "Hey, we'll get through this. We'll talk to Grandpa and you'll be fine –" Her voice cracked and she looked away, tears flowing down her cheeks, trailing the perfectly applied mascara and eyeliner down her face.

The door opened and Anna bounced in happily. "Hey guys – oh," She stopped, taking in the scene before her. "This is pretty serious, isn't it?"

Gary closed his eyes. "Anna, you should probably sit down."

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

The Nightwish song I pictured fitting into the scene with Gary and Tracey in the bathroom was She Is My Sin. The Sinergy cd Tracey picks out in the car would be Beware The Heavens (a teensy bit of slight foreshadowing).


	11. Chapter 11: Shock Part 2

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 11: Shock Part 2

Anna was in the passenger seat of the Camaro as Gary sped to the Viridian mall. After telling May and then Anna, he felt relieved but had a burning itch to get out of the house before telling his grandfather. It was only noon and he knew he had plenty of time to get Michelle's birthday present and get home to talk to his grandfather before everyone else would arrive at the house but he couldn't force himself to drive anything less than seventy and managed to reach the mall in twenty minutes – a record even for his speedy driving.

They had gone into only three stores, hurriedly buying Michelle's gifts as Gary was desperate to get back to the house before two. Gary had bought her a pair of dangly earrings with the legendary birds on them and a tank top with a rapidash on the front. Anna had bought her an Evergrey cd that Michelle had been borrowing from Gary a lot in recent weeks and a pair of ponyta-shaped earrings.

Anna had barely spoken since Gary told her everything he had told May; she was shaken at Gary's words, terrified when she realized how close she had come to losing her best friend. Gary pulled into the garage after the mall and placed a hand on Anna's arm, stopping her from opening the door and leaving before he could talk to her.

"I know you're upset by this," He began slowly sensing that she felt guilty. "What I did had nothing to do with you though. The thought of you stopped me, Anna, please don't feel guilty, you don't deserve to."

Anna nodded and stepped out of the car and walked upstairs to Gary's room to talk more. Upstairs Gary sat on his bed with Umbreon next to him as he carefully wrapped Michelle's gifts.

"Gary, what you said this morning scared me." Anna said softly after watching him for several minutes.

Gary sighed and set the gifts aside. "I know," he replied. "I'm sorry."

"Please, swear to me that you won't do anything like that again." Anna's gaze was so direct and solemn that Gary had to smile to lighten the mood.

Placing a hand on Umbreon's head he replied. "I swear on Umbreon's fuzzy little soul that I will never do anything like that again." He said in an attempt to make Anna smile. Umbreon glared up at her trainer, looking reproachful. Gary sighed and took one of Anna's hands into his own. "Seriously, Anna, I promise. You have my word."

Anna nodded, knowing he wouldn't break his word, he never did. At least not with her.

"I have to go talk to my grandfather." Gary said apologetically as he kissed Anna on the cheek and stood up.

--- --- ---

Tracey was bandaging the paw of an injured nidoran when he heard the door to the lab open. Gary walked in, looking as if he could think of a million places he'd rather be. He was wearing his Iron Maiden sweatshirt with a pair of heavily worn jeans and had his hair tied back loosely; from watching Gary over the past several weeks, Tracey suspected that he dressed like this when he was feeling particularly uncomfortable.

"Do you know where my grandfather is?" Gary asked as he leaned against the wall near Tracey.

"He's outside, should be back in a few minutes." Tracey replied, stroking the nidoran's ears. "Why? Are you going to talk to him?" Judging by the troubled sigh this elicited, Tracey assumed yes.

"May seemed really upset this morning after you talked to her." Tracey said as he placed the small pokemon on the ground.

"She had a reason to be." Gary replied flatly.

The back door opened and Professor Oak walked into the room with dirty hands. He eyed his grandson in surprise as he walked to the sink. "I'm surprised to see you in here, Gary," he said lightly, washing his hands. "I was worried that you were avoiding me." His tone was mild but his eyes betrayed him.

Gary gazed out the window, trying to postpone the inevitable. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that." He said with a sigh.

Tracey was surprised when he said it; he didn't expect Gary to actually go through with it. He watched the professor lead Gary into his office off of the lab and sit down in an armchair. Gary closed the door behind them, leaving Tracey to watch through the window between the lab and office while he pretended to work on one of the computers facing the office.

--- --- ---

Gary sat down in a chair in front of his grandfather, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, and forcing his face into a calm mask. His grandfather must have sensed how difficult this was for him because he waited patiently for Gary to begin talking.

He carefully maintained his composed façade, as he told his grandfather everything – the cutting, the drinking, the late nights with Anna. To his credit, the professor remained quiet, allowing his grandson to speak freely and at his own pace. As he came closer to telling his grandfather about his suicide attempt, he could feel his calm mask cracking. Pausing, Gary tried desperately to keep his face impassive, to keep the wall up. Feeling his emotions get the better of him, Gary turned his head away from his grandfather, hating himself as the tears fell.

His grandfather said his name gently, his voice concerned.

Gary sighed shakily before turning back to face him and continued to talk, not pausing until everything had been said. The silence in the room was deafening. Gary gazed out the window, wishing his grandfather would break the silence.

"I didn't realize everything that was going on." The professor said, leaning back in his chair, seeing his moody grandson in a new light. "I wish you had come to me sooner."

Gary looked at him suddenly. "You're not angry?"

He eyed Gary incredulously. "Why would I be? Gary, I should have thought about how things would affect you. Even if I were angry or disappointed, or whatever you thought I would be, it wouldn't be with you." Gary let the words slowly sink in, meeting his grandfather's eyes, he could see that the old man looked more tired than he had ever seen him. "I feel like I haven't been there for you, I've let you down in that sense."

Gary noticed he was nodding in agreement and promptly stopped, muttering an apology.

"Honesty over sympathy, Gary." Professor Oak said with a small smile, Gary bit his lip to keep himself from smiling. "The point is, and I don't think I realized this until you sat me down to talk, I've probably been too focused on who you _aren't_ to notice who you actually are."

Gary frowned, not sure what to make of the statement.

He sighed. "You are so much like your father, there's times when it's eerie. Your father never went through the situations you did as a child, he never had the problems that you do. I saw how well you were doing as a trainer and then as a researcher and then you were top in your class for the first few semesters of school so I figured you would be fine – "

"How do you know how I was doing in school?" Gary interrupted.

"Gary, you know I keep in touch with the professors at the school. Dr. Harris kept me up to date with everything that was going on with you." He leaned forward suddenly to meet Gary's eyes. "Did you honestly think I would send you off to Sinnoh and not bother to make sure that you were doing well?" Gary wished there was a pause and rewind button to this conversation. His grandfather suddenly placed a hand on his shoulder. "What matters most to me is that you're happy and healthy. I overlooked that before."

Gary sighed. "I guess some things are going to have to change." He said quietly after a moment.

"Change isn't always a bad thing, Gary."

The silence fell suddenly, neither knowing what to say to the other.

"I guess I should go help May set up for the party." Gary said softly.

His grandfather nodded and opened the door. "Before you go do that, though, you should know – regardless of how much that thing in your tongue annoys me, I want you to be yourself. Don't worry so much about what you think my reaction will be. I can't think of anything you could possibly do that would disappoint me."

Gary nodded, eyes cast down. "Thank you." He said quietly as he walked past his grandfather into the lab.

Tracey smiled at Gary when he walked out of the office. "I don't normally do this," he began slowly, suddenly breaking into a wide grin, "But, I told you so."

Gary rolled his eyes and laughed softly. "Yeah. You and May both."

--- --- ---

Anna had left to get ready for the party and to pick up Rachael so that Gary could help May and Bella decorate the living room and kitchen.

Bella had smiled when she saw Gary. "May told me everything," she informed him in her light, almost musical voice.

Gary smiled in return. "I figured she would."

Gary took in Bella's appearance; her long black hair was swept artfully out of her face, her makeup artfully emphasizing her large dark eyes. She was wearing a purple miniskirt that he recognized as one of May's; it was quite short on her, making her long legs look stunning – her peep-toe three-inch pumps only emphasized them. Her black back-less top matched the shoes and showed off her flawless skin. Gary would never admit it, but she intimidated even him with her beauty – just as May did.

Gary had gone upstairs after Kate arrived. He hadn't seen her since their argument a few weeks prior and knew she was still angry with him. Nonetheless, she looked stunningly different from usual, in her clingy black dress and small black wedge shoes, her red hair clipped back carefully. Gary was surprised to see her wearing makeup and wondered if she had actually done it herself. He knew he had to talk to her at some point, that he couldn't avoid her all night, but he didn't feel like seeing her until later. Glancing at the clock, he wondered where Anna and Rachael were – neither usually took very long to get ready and they lived only five minutes away, what could possibly take them so long?

Sighing, he thought of what his grandfather had told him – to be himself. Well, if the old man wanted him to be himself, then Gary sure as hell would grant him that wish.

Gary stood in his closet, trying to decide what to wear, knowing he couldn't be at Michelle's birthday party wearing nothing but the Iron Maiden sweatshirt and a pair of worn jeans. Aside from a few tank tops and a plethora of long-sleeved shirts, Gary knew he had little else to choose from; a few band shirts, that was about it. He decided against the Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth shirts, figuring they would be a bit jarring for his grandfather and friends. Sighing, he finally pulled on a Children of Bodom shirt and walked into the bathroom.

Intently looking into the mirror as he carefully lined his eyes with the eyeliner, Gary saw Tracey walk into his room. The older boy merely leaned against the wall and watched Gary as he put in the eyebrow and lip piercings, purposely leaving out the nose ring, and run a brush through his long hair a few times.

"You should know, Kate's looking for you." Tracey said finally.

Gary groaned as he sat down and pulled on his boots. "I was actually kind of hoping she wouldn't be here today." He admitted as he laced the boots tightly.

"She looks hot though." Tracey offered.

Gary glanced up at him. "I thought you liked guys."

"I do." Tracey said, admiring the way Gary's piercing eyes looked with the black lining around them. "You look good."

Gary threw him a grin as he walked into his bedroom. "I know."

--- --- ---

Confidently striding down the stairs, Gary could hear the stereo in the living room playing a Rush song, courtesy of his sister's iPod. He found Kate quickly, she was sitting on the couch, looking as though she was trying – and failing – to pull off a haughty look despite her apparent boredom. He walked over to her, carefully keeping his face impassive.

"We need to talk." He said simply when he reached Kate.

She narrowed her pale blue eyes at his appearance but followed him outside. Sitting on the back porch, Gary thought of what to say to Kate.

"I take it this all has to do with Anna." Kate said bitterly, gesturing to Gary's clothes and face.

Gary shook his head slightly, feeling that this conversation was already getting off on the wrong foot. "No, Kate." He said wearily. "This is entirely me. It has nothing to do with Anna at all."

"I don't like the piercings." She said disdainfully.

Gary sighed, not understanding why she was still so pissed at him. "That's fine. I really don't care, Kate. What I do care about is what's going on between us."

There was a pause. "I don't believe that this sudden change in you has nothing to do with Anna."

Gary felt ready to bang his head against the wall. "Leave Anna out of this, Kate. This is between us, it has nothing to do with Anna – "

"Then why do you always tell everything to Anna? Why don't you trust me enough to even tell me the same things that you tell her?"

Gary clenched his jaw, trying to quell the anger he could feel. "Fine," he said, turning to face the irate girl next to him. "You want me to tell you some of the things I tell her? How's this for opening up to you? When I was in school I screwed around with one of my male roommates, I'm terrified of my grandfather not approving of me, I tried killing myself before coming home, I've been cutting myself for nearly six years, and you want to know the main reason I go to Anna with everything?"

Kate's eyes glimmered with tears at the sudden and shocking revelations that she hadn't expected.

Gary held his arms out so Kate could see the scars and shook his head at her horrified expression. "That's why! You can't handle it, Kate, you're too fucking naïve, too innocent. You want to bitch and moan about me and Anna, go ahead, but stop and think for a minute about why I trust her so much. You want to know why I trust her enough to tell her everything that I would never tell _you_? Because she understands, because she's one of the few people who's been through enough to be strong for me when I really need it. Anna is a huge part of my life, Kate, she's the reason I'm still alive to even have this discussion with you, so you should be fucking grateful for her. If you can't deal with everything between me and her, then you obviously can't deal with life enough for me to even waste my time on you."

"So this is the end of us, huh?" Kate asked, glaring at Gary through liquid eyes.

There was a moment of silence between the two teens.

"It doesn't have to be." Gary said softly, he paused. "Can you handle the relationship I have with Anna?" Kate's silence was enough of an answer for Gary, he shook his head. "We're done, Kate."

"Gary, please – "

"Kate, stop. Don't try making me choose between the two of you, you know exactly who I'll choose."

Kate stood and stormed off, not before Gary heard the stifled sob. He knew he had probably been too harsh on her, but it was no use wasting energy on a friendship that wasn't going to last. It was no use being friends with someone so unwilling to accept his relationship with Anna.

He remained sitting on the edge of the porch long after Kate left. He had been brooding for several minutes when a pair of black pumps appeared in front of him. Thinking it was Bella checking on him, it took him a moment to realize that the heels were much higher than Bella's, the shoes made of a shiny material different from Bella's. Then he noticed the fishnets, something Bella would never wear.

His eyes trailed along the girl's shapely legs, flowing over a denim miniskirt, pausing slightly on a red corset, and stopping on the girl's face.

"Anna…"

Gary had never seen Anna look so breathtakingly beautiful. She had ditched her usual bright makeup and settled instead for smoky-looking eye makeup and red lipstick that made her lips look so much more full than her usual lip gloss did. Her hair was shorter than it had been that morning when it reached her waist; now it fell to the middle of her back with long layers.

She smiled in an almost shy manner. "What do you think?" She asked nervously.

Gary was taken aback. Speechless, he stood and kissed her gently.

"I thought it was time for a change." Anna whispered against Gary's lips.

Running his fingers along the embroidery of the corset, Gary smiled. "You look incredible."

"So, what happened with Kate?" Anna asked, running her fingers down Gary's chest.

"Kate and I are over." Gary said with a sad undertone to his voice.

Anna nodded. "Probably for the best."

--- --- ---

Michelle and May were in the kitchen talking quietly, each holding a drink when Gary and Anna walked in from outside. May called her brother over and Anna walked into the hall when Gary walked over to the two girls. He leaned against the counter casually, admiring the way Michelle's pale green dress flowed over her athletic build.

"So I hear Kate's pretty pissed at you." May said casually, offering Gary her cosmopolitan.

Michelle laughed softly. "From what I hear, that's one hell of an understatement."

Gary sighed and took a sip of his sister's drink, frowning at the bitter cranberry taste of the drink. "She's jealous of Anna." He explained, handing May her drink.

"So you told her to shove it?" Michelle asked.

Gary snorted at her bluntness. "I told her we were done."

May and Michelle shared a knowing look, Gary raised his eyebrows in question.

"She actually changed a lot when you were away." May said slowly.

"How so?"

Michelle sighed and put down her appletini. "She started being really mean to Anna, and I don't mean just rude like when we're on our periods and PMS-ing like all hell."

"Yeah, she was flat-out cruel at times, calling her a whore and stuff like that." May said, with an uncharacteristically disdainful tone.

"She and Rachael have been all buddy-buddy for the past few years, so I don't even know what else goes on that we don't know about – you know how Rachael can be a bitch to Anna." Michelle added.

Gary frowned as he hoisted himself onto the counter. "She's never acted like that around me."

"That's what I figured." May said. "We thought maybe she had come to her senses and stopped when you came home –"

"I think she stopped acting like that so that you would still see her as that sweet little girl. Obviously that's not the case anymore." Michelle interrupted.

Gary eyed the two girls suspiciously.

"Do you honestly think we would make this up, Gary?" May asked.

Gary watched his grandfather walk into the room and begin to mix a drink. "No." He said softly. "I just don't want to believe it."

"Here, Gary." Gary eyed the drink his grandfather was handing him warily.

"You're letting me drink?" Gary asked, gingerly taking the glass.

"Well, after our talk earlier, I know you can handle that drink, and I figured you've had an eventful day and could use a strong drink." Professor Oak explained before walking out of the room.

"He never lets me drink." Gary said after making sure his grandfather was out of earshot, taking a small sip. "Oh good, he put a lot of vodka in it."

May and Michelle laughed as Gary took a large sip of the drink. "You should just move to Finland so you can drink all the vodka you want and see all of your favorite bands all the time." Michelle teased.

"Don't tempt me." Gary replied, watching Tracey walk past the kitchen.

Gary set the drink on the counter next to him and jumped down to the floor. "I'll be back, make sure Anna doesn't mess with my drink." He said, walking into the hall.

--- --- ---

Tracey had been intending on going up to his room for awhile to soothe his boredom when he felt a hand grasp his wrist. Turning, he saw that the hand belonged to Gary.

Smirking slightly, Gary gently pushed Tracey against the wall and placed his lips on Tracey's.

It took Tracey a brief moment to comprehend what was happening before he responded to the kiss. He let his fingers slide through Gary's hair, ecstatic to finally feel those soft lips on his own with that tongue ring sliding slowly, languidly over his tongue.

Tracey pulled back briefly, staring into those blue eyes that had suddenly gotten darker with a gleam of lust in them.

"We should go upstairs." Gary murmured against Tracey's lips, his voice lower than usual.

Tracey nodded mutely as he followed Gary upstairs.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Well, Gary's certainly had an eventful day so far. Anyway, the cd Anna bought Michelle isn't particularly important though I will point out that it is Recreation Day by Evergrey and will eventually come up again in the story.

The Dr. Harris that Professor Oak mentioned during his talk with Gary will return and he will be mildly important in this story, more so in the prequel that I'm planning to do once Beyond The Walls is complete.


	12. Chapter 12: Serious

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 12: Serious

Tracey couldn't remember being so excited to be in Gary's room and he was curious of how things were going to play out. The kisses were intense, breaking off only when air was necessary. Hands roamed freely as inhibitions were tossed aside. Tracey was tugging gently on Gary's shirt when they heard May's voice call from the hall. Tracey pulled back as Gary rested his forehead against Tracey's shoulder.

"She has the worst timing." He muttered against Tracey's neck before asking May what she wanted.

"I need you downstairs." May responded.

Gary groaned and raised his eyes to meet Tracey's. "We'll finish this later." He whispered before turning to the door.

Tracey watched him hesitate at the door, composing himself as he straightened his shirt and ran his fingers through his messy hair before leaving the room. Sighing, Tracey went to his own room while Gary disappeared down the stairs.

--- --- ---

May turned when she heard her brother enter the kitchen, not surprised to see the scowl on his face.

"Did I interrupt something?" May asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes."

"Oh? With who?"

"None of your business. What do want?"

"I wanted to talk to you for a minute." May said, handing Gary the drink he had left on the counter earlier.

Gary sighed, that would explain why no one else was in the kitchen. "I think I've done enough talking for today, May," he said wearily.

May pulled out the seat next to the one she was sitting in at the table and gestured for Gary to sit. "Then I'll talk and you'll listen. Gary rolled his eyes and dropped into the seat next to May. "Don't give me that look, Gary, I know you're a teenager before anything else but the attitude is a bit much." May placed a hand on Gary's cheek and turned his face to meet her eyes. "I know what you were doing upstairs with Tracey; you don't have to bother trying to hide it from me."

Gary's eyes narrowed slightly. "And how would you know this?"

"That's beside the point, Gary. I just wanted to make you aware of a few things before you go rushing off to screw around." She held up a hand to stop Gary as he opened his mouth to protest. "I know you too well, I don't want hooking up with someone you find attractive to mess up a friendship with one of the few people you've let come close to you."

Gary frowned. "Do you honestly think that the only thing I'm capable of is hooking up with someone?"

"No, but you've only been in one serious relationship and that was years ago and, basing judgment on what happened with Kate earlier, that didn't end too well."

An expression that May couldn't interpret passed over Gary's face briefly. "What about Anna and I?" May could hear the challenge in his voice.

"Gary, you two are best friends: you guys get drunk and screw around. It's hardly a serious relationship."

"May, things are starting to change." His voice was soft, as though he didn't know what to say. "I don't think you've noticed, but things between us are getting serious."

May looked at him in confusion. "You said yourself that you two would never be in a serious relationship."

Gary sighed. "I know. We're both too self-destructive to last." He gazed out the back door to see Anna and Michelle on the porch hanging out with several other girls. "She's changing though; she's starting to be more serious. She hasn't been drinking as much lately. She hasn't cut herself since I've been home and all of her scars are old."

"Can we say the same for you?"

May's question was so direct that Gary couldn't meet her eyes. "No."

May was surprised at the whispered word. She didn't expect an answer to her harsh question. She sighed softly and tried to get the conversation back onto the original track. "Tracey cares for you a lot, he's been trying hard to be your friend and I'm glad that you've let him do that. I don't want to see this end in disaster, just think before you act. That's all I'm saying."

Gary watched her stand up and walk into the hall, presumably into the living room to join the party. He glanced out the open door and saw Anna watching him; he forced a smile, thinking of what May had said.

Anna pushed herself away from the railing of the porch and walked into the kitchen, feeling Gary's eyes on her the whole way. Gary admired the way her hips swayed seductively as she walked in those high heels. She stopped in front of him and looked down into his eyes.

"You look beautiful." Gary said softly.

A small smile tugged at her lips. "I love hearing you say that."

Gary smirked. "Dress like this more often and I'll say it all the time."

"Are you implying that I'm not beautiful when I'm dressed normally?" She asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"It's impossible for you not to be beautiful." The words were soft and his gaze was intense as he stood and gently pulled her against him and kissed her.

The kiss was soft and sweet, so different from usual. Anna frowned slightly, wondering when he had become so sweet and gentle with her.

She smirked slightly. "Don't go all sappy on me, Oak."

Gary returned the smirk with one of his own. "Of course, if you ever wear that hideous Slayer shirt of yours again, I'll be forced to take back what I just said."

Anna laughed throatily. "There's the Gary that I know." She murmured before kissing him again, roughly this time.

Gary pulled away laughing. "You're going to be in deep trouble if you get that lipstick all over me." He warned.

"All the more reason for me to do it."

Gary merely smirked and walked to the hall, wondering where Tracey was.

--- --- ---

Gary leaned against the wall near the entrance to the living room, taking in the scene before him, unnoticed by the girls in the room. Rachael was sitting at the piano, her manicured fingers flowing gently over the keys while May stood next to her. Gary recognized the pretty melody that she was playing.

'Moonlight sonata, second movement.' He thought to himself.

She stopped playing and stood up, May took her spot. Her fingers danced across the keys, Gary smiled as he recognized the third movement of the same sonata that Rachael had just played.

Rachael laughed when May finished. "So it's a battle is it?" She asked with a grin. "What does the winner get?"

"Winner gets to do a body shot off of Gary." May said sarcastically.

"Now that's not very fair," Gary spoke up, "what if I win? What do I get?"

Rachael laughed. "You're not allowed to participate in this, Gary." She said with a teasing tone to her voice.

May looked surprised to see her brother leaning against the wall. "When did you come in here?"

"When Rach was playing Moonlight's _allegretto_." He replied casually.

May knew he was, as always, showing off his musical knowledge. "Your turn, Rach." She said.

Rachael grinned and took her place at the piano again. After thinking for a moment, she placed her fingers on the keys and began playing another pretty melody.

"What is it, Gary?" She teased, meeting his eyes.

Gary rolled his eyes. "Beethoven's piano sonata number eight - _Pathetique_."

"And the key?"

"C minor."

May smiled and took her turn as Rachael stood up. She glanced up at Gary, daring him to make a smartass comment on her choice. She wasn't disappointed.

"Because we've all _never_ heard that one before, May." He said sarcastically. "Honestly, Cannon, in a battle? What the hell are you thinking?"

"Just trying to annoy you, of course." May responded cheerfully before standing and letting Rachael take her turn, wondering when Gary was going to try joining the battle, as he always did.

Carefully considering the key of the piece May had played, Rachael let her hands flow across the keys in a melody that she often played on her violin.

Gary recognized it immediately. "Enough with the major keys!" He laughed.

Rachael grinned. "I thought Bach was your favorite composer." She said as she watched him walk towards the piano.

Tracey entered the room then, Gary glanced at him and smirked smugly. "_Eine kleine nachtmusik_ in G major, is nowhere near as good as – "

"- Toccata and Fugue, we know." May interrupted, trying to think of what to play to beat Rachael's selection.

Tracey watched in amusement when Rachael stood up and Gary and May began fighting over who got to play. The two siblings laughed as they pushed and yelled at each other playfully.

"You are not playing, Gary!" May shrieked as she shoved her brother, laughing. "Bella, help!"

Bella came up behind Gary and pulled him away from his sister while May took the chance to start playing.

"This is between me and May, Gary." Rachael chided between laughter.

"You be good!" Bella said with a laugh as she pushed Gary against the wall next to the piano.

"He doesn't know the meaning of that word." Anna said from the doorway.

Gary gave Bella an innocent look. "I'll behave."

"Yeah, right." May said with a laugh.

Tracey watched, laughing, as Gary reached over May's shoulder to play something in the middle of May's selection.

"Hey, stop it! You're messing it up!"

"It's in the same key, how am I messing it up?"

Rachael shook her head as May slapped her brother's hands. "I forfeit if Gary joins this battle!" She said, raising her hands in surrender.

May and Gary met each other's eyes. "Fine, but no Invention Thirteen or Toccata and Fugue!" May said.

"Deal." Gary smirked. "Ladies first."

May played a bouncy folk-like melody.

"Nightwish?" Tracey asked, recognizing the melody. Gary smiled and nodded, meeting Tracey's brown eyes.

Gary smirked at his sister when she finished and played a swift melody, Anna laughed suddenly.

"Cradle of Filth? That's not fair, Gary!" May shrieked, Gary ignored her and grinned at Anna.

Tracey and Rachael laughed along with Anna as they watched the two siblings play.

"Dimmu Borgir, May? And you were bitching about Cradle!"

"The Trooper? That's not even a keyboard part!"

"Stop playing Nightwish already!"

"I said no Invention Thirteen!"

"That wasn't Invention Thirteen, it was Red Light In My Eyes!"

"Part one!" Anna chimed in.

"They're the same thing!" May yelled.

"No they're not, they're by two separate artists!"

"Children of Bodom copied it note-for-note!"

"This is why I don't do battles with Gary." Rachael said to Tracey, "He either cheats or does Invention Thirteen. Or both."

May reached over her brother and played a simple melody that Tracey recognized from a Nightwish song. Gary groaned and played a fast and complex melody that Tracey vaguely recognized.

"You know I can't beat Fantasmic!" May complained.

Gary grinned. "I win." He said cheerfully.

"You're an ass." May complained, pulling Gary's hair.

"You're just mad that I beat you."

--- --- ---

Tracey leaned against the wall of the living room, watching the party unfold around him. Bella and May were bellydancing while Rachael played piano. Gary was flirting with one of Michelle's pretty friends while Michelle herself was calmly talking to Kate who kept casting angry glances at Gary. Anna was sitting not too far from Tracey with a drink in hand, watching Bella and May.

Tracey forced himself to stay calm as he walked over to Anna. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked her.

Surprised, Anna nodded and led Tracey outside onto the porch.

"I wanted to ask you for your permission for something." Tracey said to her.

Anna nodded in understanding. "Gary is fair game, Trace. We're not dating." She reminded him.

"I know that, but I was wondering if you could tell me… what he likes." Tracey said evasively.

"Sexually?" Anna asked, surprised.

Tracey nodded, blushing uncomfortably.

"Well, he's a guy, there's not much he doesn't like." Anna stated the obvious. "I should warn you though, don't push your luck with him. He's never gone further than head with a guy and I doubt he has any desire to go further than that. I'll let you figure out what he likes, it'll make it more interesting for you two."

She threw him a grin and walked off.

By the time Tracey walked back into the living room several minutes later, Gary was gone. Tracey felt his heart sink, Gary had probably snuck off to hook up with Michelle's friend. He slowly walked up the stairs, intending to go to his room and lay down, stopping when he noticed Gary's bedroom door was open.

Peeking inside the open door, Tracey saw Gary laying on his stomach reading on his bed. Tracey stepped inside and closed the door gently behind him and locking it.

Gary glanced up at the sound of the door closing, surprised to see Tracey walking towards him. He sat up, tossing the book to the ground next to the bed.

"What are you doing up here?" Tracey asked.

"Tempting you." Gary responded with a smirk.

"It's working." Tracey stated, stopping in front of the bed, meeting Gary's eye boldly.

"Good." Gary leaned back against the pillows.

Tracey acknowledged the silent dare in Gary's gaze and climbed onto the bed, sliding himself over Gary's hips, straddling him as he lowered his head and pressed his lips against Gary's. He slid his hands into Gary's hair and grasped it lightly. He knew he had done something right when he felt the soft groan against his lips while the kiss deepened. Gary's hands slipped under Tracey's shirt and trailed up his back, eliciting a sigh from the older boy. Grinning, he pulled back from the intense kiss and placed his mouth on Tracey's neck, lightly nipping the skin. Tracey gasped at the sensation and ran his hands down Gary's back, smiling at the slight shudder his touch caused.

Tracey slid off of Gary and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor. Tracey watched Gary slowly pull off his own shirt and gracefully drape himself over Tracey, pinning him gently against the bed and kissing him roughly. Tracey was surprised when he felt Gary's hands undo his pants and slide them down his legs before sliding back on the bed to place his mouth on the hot skin. Tracey moaned loudly and ran his hands through Gary's hair, tugging lightly every now and then, shuddering as Gary groaned softly at the sensation. Feeling Tracey's muscles tense as he came closer to climaxing, Gary slid Tracey deeper into his mouth, swallowing greedily as the salty liquid hit his tongue. He moved forward to kiss Tracey again and suddenly found himself being the one pressed into the bed with Tracey on top.

He sighed deeply as Tracey's hands toyed with the waist of his jeans. Gasping slightly as Tracey nipped at the skin on Gary's neck; Gary undid the fly of his jeans and let Tracey tug them down. Tracey eagerly returned the favor, happily teasing the younger boy until he came in his mouth. Tracey had barely swallowed when Gary's lips pressed against his own, slipping his tongue into Tracey's mouth to taste himself on Tracey's tongue.

Tracey sighed when they pulled away, content to feel Gary's intense gaze on him. They lay on the bed silently for several minutes, catching their breath before Gary spoke.

"One of us should probably go downstairs before someone starts to wonder where we are."

Tracey nodded. Neither made a move to get dressed.

"Or we could stay in here and do it again." Gary suggested with a small smirk.

"I don't think I can go again." Tracey said softly.

"Good, because neither can I."

Tracey chuckled softly and stood up. "That was fun."

Gary rolled his eyes. "Of course it was. Anything sexual is fun."

Tracey laughed and pulled on his pants before tossing Gary his clothes.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

I admit there really wasn't much of a point to the piano battle at the party other than to show a different, more playful side to Gary before the next few chapters (you'll understand the need to show a happy and playful Gary after reading them). Gary names most of the songs played between Rachael and May but they are the second movement of Moonlight Sonata (Rachael), the third movement of Moonlight Sonata (May), Beethoven's _Pathetique_ (Rachael), Pachelbel's Cannon (May, the song Gary picks on May for playing), Bach's _Eine Kleine Nachtmusik_ (Rachael), and then Gary and May start with their sibling rivalry. Here's the songs that May and Gary played: Nightwish's Moondance (May), Cradle of Filth's Cthulu Dawn intro (Gary), Dimmu Borgir's Sympozium intro (May), Iron Maiden's The Trooper guitar intro (Gary), Nightwish's Everdream (May), Children of Bodom's Red Light In My Eyes Part 1 (Gary, technically cheating because the intro is taken from Bach's Invention Thirteen, which May told him not to play), Nightwish's Nemo (May), Nightwish's Fantasmic (Gary, the little show-off).

Anyway, it was meant to be a fun scene between the two siblings. : )


	13. Chapter 13: Changes

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 13: Changes

Gary was leaning back against the cushions of the couch in the living room, watching Michelle unwrap her birthday gifts while an After Forever song drifted across the room from the stereo speakers. Stifling a yawn, he glanced at the clock on the dvd player – it was just going on eleven, why was he so tired? He figured it had something to do with coming clean about so much with so many different people, even after talking to May, Anna, his grandfather, and Kate, he'd had to explain to Michelle what had happened to his arms. On top of that, his exploits with Tracey had taken much of his remaining energy. It was mostly pride that kept him from seeking the comfort of his bed, going upstairs to sleep now would make him seem like a child, unable to stay awake as late as the adults. Sighing softly, he rubbed his temples, trying to will away his sleepiness.

His exhaustion must have shown because May leaned over and whispered to him. "Why don't you just go upstairs and go to bed early?"

"I'm not tired." He lied

"You're practically falling asleep out here, and you're trying to tell me that you're not tired?" May shook her head as Gary stifled another yawn. "Still gonna tell me you're not tired?"

Gary glared at her lethargically. "I'm not tired." He said again.

May gave Bella a significant look that Gary didn't notice. Bella reached for May's iPod and slowly skimmed the list of artists, trying to find something bearable that Gary didn't like. Settling on a Coheed and Cambria song, she turned off the After Forever song.

May smiled as Gary rolled his eyes with a groan. "Good night." He said irritably and walked out of the room.

--- --- ---

In his room, he stripped down to his boxers and pulled on a long-sleeved shirt while Umbreon stalked haughtily into the room and leapt onto the bed. Tracey poked his head in the room, eyeing Gary as he turned on the music on his laptop.

"Kind of early for bed, isn't it?" Tracey asked.

Gary rolled his eyes. "I'm exhausted," he said simply, walking towards his bed.

"Some of the girls are spending the night." Tracey reminded him.

Gary nodded as he pulled the drapes around his bed shut. "Close the door please." His voice drifted from behind the dark drapes.

Gary scratched Umbreon behind the ears and laid down when he heard Tracey close the door. He slept soundly, waking briefly only when Anna crawled into bed with him several hours later wearing only lacy panties and a thin tank top, her hair pulled back into a single braid.

He woke early, feeling well rested. A glance at the clock told him that it was just going on six in the morning. He sat back against the pillows and watched Anna sleep for a few minutes before climbing out of bed and pulling on a pair of gym shorts and pulling his hair back. Umbreon appeared next to him as he pulled on his running shoes.

"Ready to go?" He asked the black pokemon.

Umbreon walked to the desk and pulled his Zune down and walked with it carefully clenched in her teeth. Gary thanked her and stroked her smooth fur before standing and walking out of the room with the small animal on his heels. The sky was gray with early dawn as Gary turned on an Adagio song and set off with Umbreon only a few paces ahead of him. The morning air was quite cool, being early October, and the streets were lined with orange and brown leaves that had fallen from the trees.

The sun was already fairly high in the sky when they arrived back at the house and the kitchen light was on. His grandfather looked up from the newspaper as Gary walked in with Umbreon.

"So is this early morning or late night?" The professor asked, knowing his grandson's erratic sleeping habits.

"Morning." Gary replied, setting a bowl of water on the ground for Umbreon and pouring himself a glass of water.

"There's coffee on the counter."

"I don't drink coffee." Gary reminded his grandfather.

"May picked up fruit yesterday, she told me to let you know."

Gary glanced at the overflowing bowl of fruit on the counter. "I can tell." He said, picking out a pear.

--- --- ---

Wide awake from the cool air and running, Gary stepped into the shower and let the hot water flow over him. He thought of everything that had happened the day before and found that his thoughts kept drifting back to Anna. He had told May that things were getting more serious between them and he meant it. Only a month prior, it had occurred to him that she was like a poison, that he was addicted to her. Now he knew he was addicted to her but he could see a change in her – she wasn't a poison running through his veins anymore.

Anna was still sleeping when he returned to his room, lying on her stomach with her legs tangled in the comforter, her turquoise lace thong revealing creamy skin. Checking that the door was locked, Gary leaned over her, letting his still-wet hair tickle her bare skin, waking her instantly. Pushing the comforter away, Gary kneeled over her and pressed gentle kisses against her shoulders. Groaning sleepily, Anna rolled over and met his eyes serenely.

"Good morning." Gary murmured against her lips before tugging the hair tie out of her braid and gently pulling the braid apart, letting her hair fall in waves around her shoulders.

"It'll only be a good morning if this wakeup call goes further than you getting me all wet with your hair." She said softly before kissing him.

"I can get you wet in other ways." Gary said, sliding his hand down a smooth leg and kissing her throat.

"By all means, do so."

Gary grinned and pushed aside her panties, teasing her with his fingers while she kissed him. He held true to his promise, she was writhing against his hand in no time, begging for more. Anna pulled off her tank top while Gary slowly slid the lace panties down her legs, pausing to kiss the self-inflicted scars on her thighs. Anna groaned when she felt his tongue run across her moist skin. Grasping his hair between her fingers, she could feel him sucking, kissing, licking, nipping – driving her into a frenzy. She could hear herself whimper in pleasure whenever the tongue ring traced along her most sensitive places.

He smirked slightly and pulled away when he felt her legs tremble slightly as she cried out softly. He slid forward to straddle her hips, smiling when she ground her hips against his, desperate for his touch.

"Gary, please."

"Please what?"

Her eyes were lust-filled as he looked down at her, a small smirk playing across his lips. Gary leaned down and kissed her, pulling away quickly to keep teasing her. "Tell me what you want," he breathed against her neck.

Anna moaned and ground her hips against his again.

"I can't do anything until you tell me it is that you want." Gary whispered against her throat.

"You teasing bastard." Anna sighed as he nipped at the skin on her neck. "I want you."

"And what do you want me to do?"

Anna stroked him with one hand and grasped his hair with the other, smirking at his sudden gasp. "What do you think?" She breathed against his throat.

Dropping the teasing act, Gary shifted his position over her and was suddenly inside of her, moving slowly, gradually moving to a faster rhythm as Anna sighed under him.

Gary could hear someone knock on the door and May's voice call that breakfast was ready, he ignored her and kissed Anna fiercely.

"Gary?"

"Get lost, May!" He called back.

"Goddamn, Gary! Can't you two go one day without sex?"

He rolled his eyes as he heard Bella tell her to leave them alone.

Anna cried out softly as he came inside of her. Rolling off of her, Gary ran a hand down one of her quivering legs. He lay next to her, breathing heavily with his eyes closed. Anna grasped his hand, feeling waves of pleasure still flowing through her.

"It's never been that intense before." She said softly after a few moments.

Gary opened his eyes and gazed at her. A small unreadable smile tugged at his lips as he gently stroked her cheek.

"Why haven't we ever tried for a relationship, Gary?" She asked suddenly, several minutes later.

Gary sighed and closed his eyes. "We've always been too self-destructive for that."

Anna nodded. "I've been working on changing." She admitted, Gary opened his eyes again and held her gaze. "I haven't cut myself in almost two years. I've only been drinking around you. I haven't been on anti-depressants for a year now."

"You didn't tell me you went off of anti-depressants." Gary said softly, remembering how she had taken her pills everyday for years.

"It never came up. It was really hard on me when you weren't around but in the past year, I've gotten so much better."

Gary nodded, thinking of how morose she used to be. He was ashamed for thinking that her cheerful behavior since he had been home was because of a higher dose of medication.

"I'm thinking of going back to school." She said softly.

Gary sat up and looked at her in shock. "Anna, you dropped out of high school because of how much you hated it."

"You know how Michelle's going to school to be an English teacher?" Gary nodded. "I've been helping her with her projects and stuff. I think I want to be a teacher."

Gary was speechless. When had she suddenly changed so much, why hadn't he noticed the changes sooner?

"What would you teach?" Gary asked suddenly.

Anna smiled shyly. "I kind of like biology."

"Anna, you said you hated your high school biology class!"

"I lied."

"We need to work on our communication here, babe."

"Babe?" Anna echoed. Gary suddenly realized what he had just said. "Enough about me, Gary. What about the changes with you?"

"What do you mean?"

Anna sighed and shook her head. "You've been acting different with me lately. You've been so much sweeter and more open. And you haven't had any new cuts since the episode with the stitches."

Gary groaned at the memory. "I guess we're both finally growing up." He said softly.

Anna picked at a loose string on the comforter. "Maybe, when we've both grown up a bit more, we can try a relationship?"

Gary raised his eyes to hers, shocked to hear her say it. "I value our relationship the way it is, Anna. I would hate it if we screwed it up." He said slowly.

"Not all relationships end the way you and Kate did, Gary."

"We'll see." Gary said softly. "But, I would say there's a good chance at us giving it a try." A small smile curved his lips.

Anna grinned and kissed him on the cheek before standing up and walking to the piano bench where her overnight bag was. She pulled out a toiletry bag and walked towards the bathroom.

"I need to take a shower now." She said over her shoulder to Gary, who had disappeared into the closet to get dressed.

--- --- ---

May frowned as her brother sat down happily at the piano in the living room and started practicing scales. Bella and Rachael glanced up at May in surprise.

"What are you so happy about?" May asked.

"Nothing." Gary replied airily.

"Are you drunk?" Bella asked.

Gary laughed and shook his head. "I hardly even drank last night."

"Was the sex this morning just that good?" May asked.

"It would've been better without you interrupting it again."

Bella laughed at his offhand comment.

"B major." Rachael said suddenly, initiating a practice technique that she and Gary often used.

Gary grinned and began playing in the key she called out, changing keys swiftly whenever she called out a new one. He looked up from the keys as Anna walked in, smiling when he saw her wearing a pair of shorts and a tight-fitting Iced Earth shirt. Her hair was pulled away from her face and she was once more wearing smoky eye makeup. She flopped down on the couch, singing along to the Epica song that was playing on the stereo.

"Ok, what happened between the two of you that's making you so damn cheerful?" May demanded.

"Nothing." Gary answered, holding her gaze steadily.

--- --- ---

Tracey found himself confused that day, unsure of how to act around the unusually cheerful Gary, far more used to the cynically arrogant boy that was mysteriously absent today. He wondered if his happiness had anything to do with what had happened last night between them but he somehow doubted this. He was wandering aimlessly around the house with nothing to do when he noticed Gary sitting out on the porch reading as the sun slowly sank below the horizon. Tracey stepped outside and leaned against the railing near Gary who was sitting on the steps with his back against the railing. Absorbed in the book, Gary didn't even realize he was no longer alone until Tracey suddenly sat down next to him on the steps.

"What are you reading?" Tracey asked.

"_Ender's Game_." Gary didn't even glance up.

Tracey made several attempts at conversation before Gary finally set the book aside.

"I take it you want to talk about yesterday," he said gazing across the lawn as the sun finally sank below the horizon.

"No chance of that happening again, is there?"

"Anything's possible." Gary replied with a shrug.

Tracey didn't know how to respond so he remained silent.

"Truth is, I'm kind of confused." Gary said slowly, a few moments later.

"About what?" Tracey asked, watching the other boy carefully.

Gary paused, trying to pinpoint what exactly was confusing him. "A lot of things," he finally said. "What happened between us is one of those things. Well… that combined with something else makes up the biggest thing."

Tracey raised his eyebrows, encouraging Gary to go on.

"It's just that so much has changed since I left and I'm only starting to realize it all now, after I've been home for what, two and half months?"

Tracey nodded. "What sort of things do you mean?"

"Well, obviously there's everything that comes with being a teenager and going off to college and all, but then there's suddenly so much just in the past few weeks!" Gary turned to Tracey suddenly. "You know, I didn't even think about the fact that I could possibly be bisexual until that day May stitched up my arm. I was laying in bed with Anna and it suddenly occurred to me that I wasn't straight -"

"I thought you said you had kissed a guy once?" Tracey interrupted.

Gary laughed softly. "We did a hell of a lot more than that. What we did yesterday, only a lot of it and very often. Andrew and I screwed around a lot; it was never serious between us so I guess I just never thought, consciously at least, of it being more than some big joke between friends."

Darkness was falling heavily around them, the porch light casting enough of a glow for Tracey to clearly see Gary's face and the honesty in his eyes. Without thinking, he leaned forward and captured Gary's lips with his own. The kiss was slow and languid, casual and exploratory.

Gary pulled back slightly, his hand at the nape of Tracey's neck. "We shouldn't do this out here." Gary said softly against Tracey's lips.

Tracey nodded in understanding and pulled away, letting silence fall between them. "What was Anna's response when you told her you were bisexual?" He asked after a few minutes.

Gary laughed. "We had sex," he admitted with a shrug.

"Were you thinking of stuff you and Andrew had done?" Tracey teased.

Gary smiled in response. "I can't really think of anything else when I'm around Anna," he said distantly.

"You two are really close." Tracey stated.

"That's another thing confusing me." Tracey glanced at him nervously. "We've both been changing so much lately, I'm kind of worried that something might happen to pull us apart. At the same time, things have never been better between us. That's probably what's confusing me most, I don't know whether to just sit back and let everything with me and Anna happen on its own or what. "

Tracey sighed softly. "This probably isn't the best time to ask and I don't want to sound like a girl that doesn't want to be just another one-night-stand but I have to bring it up." He met Gary's eyes. "Is there a chance at anything happening between us other than sex?"

Gary sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Tracey, the last relationship I was in ended badly, I don't know if you saw what happened with Kate yesterday." He chose his words carefully, not wanting to damage their still-new friendship. "Anything can happen but I value our friendship, it's nice to have a friend that isn't a chick that I can actually talk to."

Tracey nodded, understanding what Gary was saying. "I'm glad to know where I stand."

The door opened behind them suddenly. "Hey boys!"

Tracey groaned inwardly as Anna sat down between them, playfully pulling Gary's hair.

"What is it with you and May constantly pulling my hair?" Gary asked irritably.

"Don't be an ass, I got you something." Anna pulled her bag to her as Gary's look turned to one of curiosity.

Anna took something black out of her bag and tossed it to Gary.

"Nice!" He exclaimed, examining the Amon Amarth shirt. "Where did you get this?"

Anna shrugged. "There's a place in Pewter that I'll have to show you one day, sells all this awesome metal stuff. It's where I got my pentagram earrings from. Anyway I went there this afternoon for a bit and I figured you would like it. Oh, and I got new guitar strings, I was hoping you could drop tune my LTD for me, I brought it with me."

"You didn't try tuning it already did you? It took me three hours to fix the tremolo last time you did that." Gary reminded her, standing up.

"No, I would've brought you more presents if I had done that. Come on."

"See you later, Trace." Gary said as he followed Anna into the house.

Tracey stayed outside for a long while after Anna and Gary had disappeared into the house. He was thinking about the conversation he had just had with Gary, Gary had said he was confused about what had happened between them but didn't elaborate on it.

Tracey wondered what exactly was going through Gary's mind, was he being honest with him? Tracey assumed he was but remembered May's words from nearly two months ago – no one ever knew what Gary was thinking, so how could he be sure Gary wasn't just manipulating him? Tracey pushed that particular thought out of his head; he liked to think that he had become someone that Gary spoke to somewhat openly. Gary himself had admitted in their conversation that they were friends, hadn't he? He had said that he valued his friendship with Tracey.

Tracey wasn't sure how to feel about that, he worried that going further would damage a friendship that wasn't solid yet, that was still young and growing; he wanted their relationship to stay as a friendship, he longed for their friendship to be like the one between Gary and Anna. Yet, at the same time, he longed for the relationship to go beyond that – he didn't want to be _just_ a friend or even just a friend-with-benefits. No, he knew he wanted to be considered Gary's boyfriend and lover. Considering Gary's words about the relationship he'd had with Kate, he knew it was asking too much to be his boyfriend or anything of the sort. He supposed he could live as friends-with-benefits, at least they would still be friends and Tracey would still be able to screw around with Gary; that was one of the things he had wanted most, after all.

Still, the growing seriousness between Anna and Gary worried him. He wasn't a selfish person in the slightest; nonetheless, he didn't particularly want to share Gary. He wondered if Anna felt the same way.

--- --- ---


	14. Chapter 14: Secrets

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 14: Secrets

"Tracey, could you help me with something in the lab please?"

Tracey looked up at the professor in surprise, having been too absorbed in the video game to hear him enter the room. He and Gary were in the basement-turned den, playing Mortal Kombat on May's old Sega. Gary was beating him horribly despite his claims that he rarely played video games, regardless, Tracey was having fun and he silently cursed the older man for interrupting.

"Sure. What do you need help with?" Tracy asked, grimacing as Gary defeated him once more.

"I'll show you in the lab." He was being evasive for some reason.

"Can I help?" Gary asked, leaning his head back so he could see his grandfather.

Professor Oak looked taken aback for a moment. "Um, actually, Gary, why don't you and May go out and get some more Halloween decorations? It's been awhile since we actually went all out for Halloween; all we have is some pumpkins and fake spiders."

Gary frowned at him, slightly suspicious of why exactly he needed Tracey's help but not his. As far as his excuse for Halloween decorations went, they hadn't gone "all out" since he was ten and Halloween was only two weeks away. Finally he shrugged and agreed as Tracey stood up and followed Professor Oak out of the room.

Sighing, Gary tossed his controller down and turned off the console. He leaned back against the couch and gazed moodily around the room, he had been in here a lot the past week since Michelle's birthday party. He was constantly trying to keep himself distracted – playing video games that he couldn't stand with May and Tracey, playing pool or air hockey with Anna and Michelle – anything to keep him from thinking about what was going on between himself and Tracey and Anna.

'How the hell did I get myself into this situation?' He couldn't keep the thought from circulating through his mind constantly. It was just sex after all, that was all that had happened with Tracey, simply two friends screwing around.

'So why do you keep sneaking off with him?' A small voice in the back of mind sneered at him. 'Why do you trust him so much? Why do you keep seeking out his company?'

All questions Gary couldn't bring himself to answer.

He was constantly torn between Anna and Tracey this past week. There hadn't been a single day that Anna hadn't come by and there was simply no escaping Tracey when they lived under the same roof. He'd spent his mornings and early afternoons hanging out with Tracey, sometimes slipping off to the privacy of one of their bedrooms to make out or more. Then Anna would come over in the late afternoon and they would spend the afternoon and evening hanging out or having sex. He took comfort in the fact that he could at least be open with the fact that he and Anna did sexual things with each other, whereas he couldn't help but hide what went on with him and Tracey.

Part of him didn't want to admit that he was attracted to the boy, that he had willingly let him see past the walls he had meticulously built around himself, that he had allowed the boy to pleasure him while he eagerly returned the favor. Another part of him wished he could just accept that it had happened and either cut off this sexuality between them or take it further. But that opened the door to another dilemma for him; he didn't want a _boyfriend_, or did he? It wasn't any different from having a girlfriend, except for the fact that there was no vagina involved.

'But that's exactly it,' he thought to himself. 'I'm not attracted to him like that, I wasn't even attracted to Andrew like that and I was so much closer to Andrew than I am to Tracey!'

He knew it could go further if he just gave in, but he remained consistently indecisive about why he was holding back so much. A relationship would trap him. A relationship with Tracey would keep him away from Anna, which wasn't what he wanted. Would a relationship with Anna keep him away from Tracey? Or would he just did what he had done with Kate, screw around with a person he was attracted to and then just go on dates, never going further than kisses and caresses? He sincerely doubted that would happen - he and Anna just didn't have the ability to keep their hands to themselves around each other. He had to constantly remind himself of the differences between Kate and the other people he had been attracted to. There was a gaping distance between him and Kate that didn't exist with either Tracey or Anna – he was entirely open with them, or as close to it as he was capable of. There was nothing other than friendship between him and Kate, though he had tried to convince himself otherwise – there was a genuine spark between him and Tracey, an electric sensation that ran through them both when they touched. There was a fire between him and Anna, a burning passion that was constantly building between them, growing to a climax of nearly volcanic proportions at times.

'All fires burn out eventually.' Gary had told himself, terrified of the thought that something would happen between him and Anna to tear them apart. 'But only when you remove the fuel.' That sneering voice in his mind reminded him.

The question was, what was the fuel that held him to Anna? Was it true passion or was it something darker, deeper – their pain that was constantly hidden in the depths of the abyss they had each created for themselves to hide in? What if that abyss grew deeper and swallowed them whole, drowning that fire?

It was a fear that threatened to take over him but he constantly suppressed it, tucking it away in the back of his mind. It would remain his secret.

--- --- ---

Tracey was surprised when the professor led him straight through the lab and into his office, closing the door behind him. He sat down nervously, knowing that this must be very serious. His apprehensions lightened as Professor Oak smiled at him.

"I see you and Gary have become rather close lately." He said cheerfully.

'Closer than you think.' Tracey thought to himself as he nodded in response.

"That's good because I need your help, May's going to help too, she just doesn't know that yet."

Tracey frowned in confusion, what could May do in the lab to help them that Gary couldn't do?

Professor Oak continued on, oblivious to Tracey's confusion. "Gary's birthday is coming up in the beginning of December; right after the university lets out for their winter break. I figure, since he'll be turning eighteen, we should do something special."

Tracey knew where this was going. This was why the professor hadn't let Gary "help" him this afternoon. "You want to have a surprise party, don't you?"

"Exactly!"

"Are you sure that won't just irritate him?"

Professor Oak laughed. "Don't worry; I'm working on something that'll act as insurance that he won't kill us for this, that's another matter that we will discuss in a few minutes. Anyway, I'm sure you remember Dr. Harris?"

Tracey nodded, he had met the man several times while he worked with Professor Oak on different research projects and also during a few visits to Sinnoh. "He's helping with the party?" He asked in confusion.

"Of course – "

"Why?"

"Because two of Gary's old roommates work with him in the lab at the school so he can get in touch with people who would want to be here for the party. And he's the closest thing Gary's had to a father since he was a child - he was very close friends with my son and his wife, girlfriend at the time, when they went to school in Sinnoh. Anyway, I'm getting off track, Dr. Harris and I are in the process of beginning a new study and, if all goes well, we'll be setting up a very diverse research team. That's the insurance that Gary won't be entirely ready to kill me when he realizes a surprise birthday party was my idea."

"You want Gary to be a part of this research team?"

"Of course, you saw the results of his work at Sayda Island, Tracey! Anyway, we would need someone to handle the genetics part of the project and Gary's major was in genetics." Tracey could hear the pride in his voice as the old man spoke of his grandson's achievements. "You would be involved in this too, of course, if you want. An accomplished lab assistant is always needed."

Tracey grinned at the indirect compliment. "What type of research project is this going to be anyway?"

Professor Oak returned Tracey's grin with a sly smirk. "I'm afraid you'll have to wait and see, Tracey. You'll know soon enough."

--- --- ---

"Grandpa wants us to go out and buy Halloween decorations."

May looked up at Gary with a frown. "We still have two weeks before the Halloween party, we usually just get some streamers and spider webs."

She had been lying on her bed and playing on her laptop when Gary had appeared in her doorway, looking slightly irritated.

Gary shook his head. "He insinuated that he wants us to go 'all out' this year, I was thinking we could do something gory. What were you saying about a party?"

"The Halloween party me and the girls always have, complete with costumes." She winked as Gary narrowed his eyes slightly. "By gory, do you mean Cannibal Corpse gory or Dawn of the Dead gory?"

"Cannibal Corpse gory would give Gramps a heart attack; we should probably stay away from that. I just meant something more gruesome than just gravestones and spider webs, that's kind of generic."

May laughed softly. "You _are_ dressing up for the party right?"

"If you insist, yes." Gary rolled his eyes. A thought suddenly occurred to him. "Halloween's on a Saturday this year, right?" May nodded. "Party's on Saturday then, right?" Another nod.

"Are you thinking of inviting Andrew, Chris, and Chelsea? Because that would be a pretty good idea, you haven't seen them since August."

Gary shook his head. "They wouldn't be able to come for the weekend this late in the semester, midterms were just a few weeks ago, they're probably going crazy with work."

May nodded, thinking of an idea that would certainly make her Halloween party interesting. "You know what, we should probably have Anna help us come up with some ideas for the decorations."

Gary glanced at May's clock, it was only a little after eleven in the morning. "You know she's not up yet."

"So? Go over to her house and wake her up. Bring her back here, we can plan and then go out."

Gary groaned, why did he get the feeling everyone was trying to get rid of him today? "Fine, I'll go get her. Don't expect me to be back anytime soon though!"

May laughed. "I know, I know. Anna takes forever to get ready in the mornings. Take your time."

She waited until she heard the car start and the garage door close behind it before going to the phone and dialing the number she knew by heart from calling her brother so often when he was in school.

The phone rang only twice before a petite girl with long brown hair appeared on the screen.

"Hey, Chelsea!" She greeted the girl cheerfully.

"May! Long time no see, girl! What's up?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you guys had plans for Halloween. We're having a party over here and I know Gary would love to see you guys."

"We were just going to dress up and hit the bars, but I'm sure we could take a little field trip down to Pallet." She paused, thinking for a moment. "You know, none of us even have classes on Fridays this semester, we could get permission from Dr. Harris to get out of classes on Thursday and Monday so we could stay a few days."

"No Friday classes, huh? You guys down phased to a lighter schedule or something?" May asked, remembering how Gary and his three roommates had always had a full schedule.

Chelsea nodded. "After everything that happened last semester, I figured it would probably be best to take only a few classes. Andrew and Chris only have two classes each this semester."

"Awesome." May paused for a moment, surprised to hear Gary's car turn onto the street after only ten minutes. She cursed softly, not wanting him to know about his friends coming.

Chelsea smiled at the curse. "I take it this is supposed to be a surprise for Gary?"

"Yeah. Listen, I'll talk to Grandpa for you guys and see about maybe using the helicopter he uses for research and whatnot to pick you guys up on that Thursday so you don't have to drive. I'll call Harris and see about getting you guys out of class."

"Sounds good, chica. Talk to you soon."

May disconnected just as Gary and Anna walked into her room.

"That was fast, I wasn't expecting you guys for at least another three hours." May looked at them quizzically.

"I've been getting up earlier, I was already dressed and everything when Gary got there." Anna explained.

They spent an hour or two planning before driving May's car and driving to Viridian City to go to some of the stores there to get decorations. May never told Gary about her phone conversation with Chelsea.

--- --- ---

"What was it my grandfather needed help with yesterday?"

Tracey sighed as he pulled himself onto a higher branch in the tree, he hadn't thought up an excuse to give Gary. "Oh, it wasn't anything important – just helping him bandage up a pokemon."

Gary and Tracey were in a large tree near the front walk, hanging bats and spider webs from the branches while May and Anna set up a graveyard, complete with scattered bones, at the foot of the tree.

"He couldn't do that by himself?" Gary asked doubtfully, looking down at Tracey has he stretched a particularly large web across the braches over his head.

"It was pretty bad. Two of the nidorinos were fighting for dominance again." Tracey lied, nervously looking down at the girls below him so that Gary wouldn't notice the anxious expression.

"Funny, he didn't seem too worried when he asked you for help." Gary said doubtfully, as he dropped a fake spider down onto May, who was standing below him. He smiled as she screamed and shook the spider off of her shirt before glaring up at her younger brother.

Tracey looked up as Gary dropped down onto the branch he was sitting on. "Liar," he whispered, leaning close to Tracey.

The words were teasing and his tone was light, but Tracey could sense annoyance beyond the words as he met Gary's eyes. Tracey warily watched in silence as Gary carefully balanced on the thick branch, hanging a large bat from the branch over their heads.

The afternoon passed slowly for Tracey as they spent the rest of the day decorating the yard and the house. He could tell that Gary knew he was hiding something and, despite the fact that Gary didn't show it, Tracey knew that he was angry with him for it.

He found himself in May's room late that evening, hoping for advice on what to do. The house was eerily quiet while he sat on the purple window seat with May sitting across from him on a blue loveseat. Gary and Anna had gone out someplace for dinner so May and Tracey could freely talk without worrying about Gary interrupting them.

"He's not mad at you," May assured him. "He's just kind of irritated because he can tell you're lying. It'll pass soon; he probably won't even be annoyed with you tomorrow."

"I doubt he'll just forget about it, May."

"Oh I never said he would forget about it, he'll just get over it after he and Anna have sex." She thought for a moment, trying to think of something that would help Tracey out. She'd had experience keeping secrets and surprises from her brother and knew exactly how to act, Tracey didn't though, and the surprise her grandfather was expecting Tracey to help him with wasn't a small one. "I'll let you in on a secret of my own, Trace, then you can take some of the credit and we can pass it off as the thing you were lying to him about. You know Dr. Harris is coming a couple days before Halloween, right?" Tracey nodded. "Well, the reason he's coming is because I invited a few of Gary's friends to stay here a few days but Gary has no idea about this. We'll just tell him that you helped plan this and he'll forget about this whole little thing. He won't even suspect the party in December."

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Unless you're a metalhead, you probably didn't understand May's inquiry regarding gore for their Halloween decorations. Cannibal Corpse gory would refer to Cannibal Corpse's album covers, which usually involve lots of entrails and blood. Dawn of the Dead gory would refer to typical zombie gore. In case anyone was wondering, no I do not picture Gary liking Cannibal Corpse – he's too vain and pretty for that. : )


	15. Chapter 15: Distress

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 15: Distress

He was pacing across the kitchen. Again. If it wasn't for that fact that something was obviously bothering him, May would most likely tie her brother down to a chair just so he wouldn't drive her insane by pacing like he had been for the past few days.

"You know," May began, leaning back in her chair and looking at the ceiling. "You wouldn't need to pace so much if you would just talk about what's bothering you. And you wouldn't drive me completely nuts." She added under her breath.

Gary sighed and dropped into the chair across from her, fidgeting with the edge of the black tattered table cloth.

"What are you so jittery about?" May asked impatiently.

"I'm just bored." He was lying and both of them knew it.

"Ah, so we're going to play guessing games. Saturday's party?" He shook his head. "Grandpa on your case about school?" He shook his head again. "Ok, the fact that Harris is coming?" She paused, trying to hone in on the issue.

May watched as Tracey walked past the kitchen and climbed the stairs. Gary's eyes followed his movements until he disappeared upstairs. "It's Tracey, isn't it?" Gary glared halfheartedly at his older sister. She knew him all too well and took his glare as a confirmation. "You've been sneaking off with him a lot since Michelle's party," she said lightly before turning serious. "So are you just moody because you like him and you don't want to give up sex with other people so you can date him? Or is there something else?"

Gary sighed. "I don't want a boyfriend."

"Denial." May said in a singsong voice.

"No. I just got myself into a situation that I don't exactly know how to get out of."

"That's what happens when you let hormones run your life."

"Lesson learned." His tone indicated that the conversation was over.

May shrugged and stood up, tousling Gary's hair and earning a glare in response.

"Your hair's getting long again, little brother. If it keeps growing this fast, it'll be longer than Anna's come Christmas." Gary ignored her. "By the way, Grandpa wants you to go with him and Tracey to pick up Harris tomorrow."

"What does he need both of us to go for?"

"I have no idea." May replied smoothly with a smirk.

"Lair." May grinned as Gary stood up and left the kitchen.

--- --- ---

Gary groaned as he lay down on the black couch in the music room. He had been antsy the past few days, having decided to avoid Tracey and Anna to the best of his abilities so that he could try to figure out what he wanted to do. That particular plan had seemed to backfire on him, considering the fact that he was now not only driving himself crazy but annoying the hell out of his sister.

He still had no idea what to do and the fact that Tracey and May were both keeping secrets from him annoyed him to no end. The fact that his grandfather kept having Tracey help him in the lab while locking Gary out stung deeply, though he'd never admit it to anyone other than himself.

--- --- ---

Tracey heard a door down the hall close and a moment later heard music float down the hall. He stood up from his small desk and walked to the hall. The music room door was closed. Finally he had a chance to talk to Gary. He knew the younger boy was avoiding him. Things had been strained between them since the day that Professor Oak had first called him into his office. Keeping secrets from Gary was not an easy task, considering he could easy read Tracey, knowing when he was lying. The lies had angered Gary, Tracey could tell – he could feel the fierceness in his kisses, could hear the low tones in his voice. Granted it made their exploits that much more pleasurable but it also made it that much harder when Gary started avoiding him a few days ago.

He knocked softly on the door before opening it and entering the room, gently closing the door behind him. He had never been inside this particular room before and found it to be incredibly different from Gary's pristine bedroom. The black walls combined with the many amplifiers along the walls made the room seem smaller than it really was. Several guitars hung from wall mounts while posters and pictures covered large patches of black wall around the room. A large chest of drawers stood between amps with an empty bottle and several shot glasses set on the top of it. A large bookshelf was crammed with books next to two large keyboard stands with keyboards set up in the corner with a piano against the wall. The black couch faced the bathroom across from the doorway where Tracey was standing; he assumed Gary was lying on the couch out of Tracey's line of vision.

He leaned on the back of the couch and looked down into Gary's eyes. "So, I take it you've been avoiding me." He said flatly.

Gary snorted. "Gee, can't put anything past you, can I?" He replied sarcastically.

Tracey sighed loudly and walked around the couch to stand in front of him. "Why are you acting like this?" Gary turned his head away from Tracey. "I thought we were friends, Gary?"

Gary turned suddenly to Tracey, fixing him with an icy gaze. "Friends don't lie."

"Friends don't act like assholes." Tracey was surprised at how sharp his voice sounded.

Gary sat up, maintaining steady eye contact that left Tracey feeling slightly intimidated by the barely masked anger in Gary's eyes. "I guess we have a dilemma then, don't we?"

The words stung. "I guess so." Tracey replied through clenched teeth.

"What are you doing in here anyways?"

"I came in here to try talking to you and find out why you've been avoiding me but obviously that's not working out."

"Obviously."

"Enough with the sarcasm," Tracey said wearily. "Can you at least let me talk?"

"By all means, talk." Gary replied loftily, clearly indicating that he wouldn't listen anyway.

"You know what, forget it. It's clearly a waste of my breath to try talking to you because you're just going to either ignore me or keep up this wall and give me this pitiful attitude of yours. I seriously thought you were more mature than this, that's one of the reasons why I liked you. I guess I was wrong though, I guess in the end you're nothing more than an insecure, spoiled little teenager that tries to convince himself that he's better than everyone else around him just to make himself feel better. Maybe you would have less problems if you actually tried to be nice and not be such a dick." He turned on his heel and left before Gary could utter a retort.

Tracey shut his bedroom door sharply and sat on his bed still fuming. He knew his words had been harsh and he felt some remorse for the way he had treated Gary.

'He has to hear it sooner or later.' He told himself.

And who would tell him? Professor Oak was too detached from Gary, having been separated from his grandson during nearly the entirety of his adolescence – Tracey doubted the professor, brilliant as he was, would realize the breadth of Gary's trust issues and the problems they caused. May loved her brother dearly but Gary trusted her and because of that, Tracey doubted that May saw past the problems, like the cutting and drinking, to notice the masked issues that prevented Gary from having close friends. The only person Tracey thought would even see the problems was Anna and she was the last person Tracey wanted to go to about it.

'Even if she did tell him, they would just fuck and forget about it all together.' Tracey couldn't keep the harsh thought from his head. He knew he was being bitter, perhaps needlessly vindictive.

Still, he couldn't keep from being infuriated by Gary's attitude.

--- --- ---

Gary heard the Tracey's door slam down the hall and sighed heavily.

"Way to go, you fucking idiot." He berated himself aloud.

'You just had to be a complete ass and screw up yet another friendship for yourself.' The thought was painful.

All he had wanted to do was listen to the Rhapsody cd he had borrowed from Michelle and try to escape his troubled thoughts. But, no, of course Tracey had other ideas.

He sighed, he shouldn't take his frustrations out on Tracey, he knew. It wasn't Tracey's fault that he had gotten into this situation. It wasn't Tracey's fault he decided to try solving the problem by ignoring it and avoiding Tracey and Anna.

Frustration had been building for the past few days and avoiding Anna hadn't improved his mood in the slightest. Gary found his gaze constantly drifting to the chest of drawers – he knew the blade was still in the bottom drawer, behind the box of guitar strings. He hadn't used it since the episode with May stitching his arm; he hadn't even felt the desire to do so – until now.

After several minutes of trying to ignore the chest of drawers, Gary finally walked out of the room and down the hall to his bedroom. He froze in the doorway, having expected to find his room empty. Anna was sitting on his bed, facing the door and apparently waiting on him.

"So you and Tracey got in a fight?" She asked as he closed the door behind him.

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"I'm not here to talk about you and Tracey." She sighed heavily as Gary leaned against one of the bedposts, gazing at the floor. "Gary, I won't lie to you, the past few weeks have sucked for me, knowing that you've been screwing around with Tracey behind everyone's backs. Then out of nowhere, you start avoiding me? You've never done anything like _that_ before. If anything, you always came looking for me while avoiding everyone else."

"Anna," She cut him off before he could say anything more.

"I was worried about you when you weren't answering my calls. I finally called May and she said that you've been really tense. Something's bothering you, don't try arguing, I know you better than that." She said, silencing Gary's soft argument. "You don't have to tell me what's bothering you, even though I think you should tell someone." Anna waited several moments to see if Gary would tell her. She wasn't surprised when he remained silent. "We can't keep doing this." She said suddenly. Gary finally turned to face her.

"Keep doing what?" Her hesitation almost seemed to confirm his fears.

"I said how it's sucked for me to know that you've been off with Tracey behind everyone's back. Gary, we've never been tied down to each other, you know that, I know that – hell, I'm the one that told Tracey you were free game. I don't know what I was expecting to happen between you and Tracey. I never was bothered when I knew you were hooking up with different girls all the time and I didn't care when I knew that you two had hooked up a few times… I guess it started bothering me once you guys started doing it as often as we do." She sighed deeply. "I can't share you, Gary. Things aren't the way they used to be, you said it yourself – we're both growing up. That's why I can't do this anymore. We're either best friends or we're lovers. Not both, Gary."

Gary closed his eyes, trying to process everything Anna was saying. "Anna, I can't handle this right now."

Anna stood and walked to him, gently touching his cheek. "Yes, you can. You're strong, that's one of the things I love about you. That's why I'm letting you decide where you want our relationship to go." She could feel her resolve starting to break as she saw the raw pain in Gary's eyes. He wasn't even trying to hold the walls up, seeing him weak and hurt like this cut her deeper than any blade ever could. "I'll always be here for you, no matter what you decide, but I have to think about myself for once."

"Why?" Gary hated how weak his voice was.

Anna sighed and removed her hand from Gary's cheek. She turned away from him and sat back down on the edge of the bed. "This… It's like I'm in some sort of purgatory – and I can't escape unless we change. It'll hurt like hell if you decide to just be friends but I value our friendship enough to make it work. Think about it, Gary. I'll see you on Saturday." She stood and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Gary let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He couldn't think, couldn't move; he had gone completely numb. He stayed standing, staring at the piano across from him without seeing it for several minutes before stumbling into the bathroom.

Tossing his clothes on the floor, Gary turned on the hot water and stepped into the shower. The water was scalding, burning slightly as it hit his skin but he could hardly feel it. He stayed in the shower until the water ran too cold for him to remain under the cascade.

Feeling mentally exhausted and still utterly numb, Gary pulled on pair of boxers and slipped under the covers of his bed, falling into a deep sleep.

--- --- ---

May slid a plate in front of Tracey and sat down across from her grandfather to eat her dinner. The afternoon had passed quietly; Anna had visited only briefly, leaving around noon. She hadn't seen her brother since the morning. She wasn't particularly worried, figuring he had gone out running or snuck downstairs to the den at some point and was quietly amusing himself.

"Where's Gary?" Her grandfather asked suddenly.

Apparently she wasn't the only one to notice his absence.

"I haven't seen him since this morning." Tracey replied.

May raised her eyebrows at the slightly clipped sounding words. Professor Oak had noticed Tracey's tone as well.

"Everything alright, Tracey?" He asked mildly.

Tracey slowly chewed the bite of chicken in his mouth and swallowed before responding. "We had a bit of an argument."

May was surprised by the revelation. She knew her brother was stubborn and could be an arrogant brat but he rarely got in arguments with other people, at least, not since he was perhaps twelve. "What about?" She asked curiously.

Tracey sighed and pushed pieces of pasta around his plate with his fork. "He's mad because he knows I'm hiding something from him. I said some things I regret," he admitted.

"You haven't seen him since then?" Professor Oak asked.

Tracey shook his head as they continued to eat in silence.

--- --- ---

Professor Samuel Oak had never been much of a worrier but he found himself worried at the fact that Gary had disappeared for most of the day after arguing with Tracey. Despite his grandsons often less-than-charming attitude, he knew that the boy preferred not to get in fights – he was more mature than that. He knew that Gary was still home, his car was still in the garage and Umbreon was currently in the lab with Tracey, ruling out any chance of him having gone running.

He climbed the stairs slowly, thinking of the surprise awaiting his grandson tomorrow and hoping that he would forgive Tracey for keeping secrets from him, hoping that the secret he had asked Tracey to keep wouldn't drive apart the two boys. He was surprised at how eerily silent the second floor was, usually at this time Gary and Anna were making all sorts of noise in the music room between the stereo, guitars, and keyboards. Now that he thought about it, Anna hadn't been around much the past week; even so though, there had constantly been music drifting from the rooms, whether from Gary's laptop or an instrument. Tonight there was silence.

He knocked softly on the bedroom door before opening it. The room was comfortably chilled from the open windows allowing the late October air fill the room. The sun was setting, filling the room with an orange light while the dark curtains fluttered slightly in the gentle breeze. His gaze fell on Gary, sleeping soundly on his bed. Walking to the bed, he noticed a liquid movement near the door from the corner of his eye. It was Umbreon, the black pokemon stalking lightly through the room before leaping onto the bed and lying next to her master.

The professor frowned slightly when Umbreon nudged Gary's hand with her nose, eliciting only a slight stir. He knew a move like that would normally awaken Gary. He gingerly placed a hand on Gary's forehead to check for a fever; his pale skin was slightly chilled from the open windows and his breathing was steady and deep. He was fine, definitely not ill, the professor decided. Gary had probably just not slept well the night before; he was probably just slightly exhausted. He would be fine in the morning and then they could talk about the argument between Gary and Tracey. Until then, he would let his grandson sleep.

--- --- ---


	16. Chapter 16: Surprise Part 1

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 16: Surprise Part 1

It was only ten-thirty in the morning yet Professor Oak had been sitting at the kitchen table for nearly four hours, reading the latest issue of a science journal. He would have read in a more comfortable place, such as his office, if it wasn't for the fact that he was expecting Gary to either come down the stairs with Umbreon at his heels or come in from the chilly morning sometime between six and ten. Yet, here he was, having read or skimmed through the entire journal, not seeing anyone other than Tracey or May come into the kitchen. He had to leave in little more than an hour to pick up his colleague and former student, Dr. Alex Harris, and Gary's friends.

May came into the kitchen, placing a tarnished silver platter in the middle of the table, straightening the tattered table cloth that was there for Halloween.

"Have you seen your brother at all?"

"He's sleeping." She replied without looking up as she took a shopping bag off of the counter.

"Still?"

May nodded as Tracey walked into the kitchen and began helping her pull fake organs out of the bag and arrange them on the platter before pulling a small bottle of fake blood out of the bag and pouring it over the gory display. The professor sighed and handed the journal to Tracey. There was no way Gary could still be sleeping at this hour; it had been well over twelve hours since he had checked on him the evening before. "There's a report in here on lapras colonies in the Orange Archipelago that you should find interesting." He said wearily to Tracey as he stood and walked towards the stairs.

Sure enough, Gary was lying on his stomach, long hair splayed across the pillows to conceal his face as he slept. If it were Ash, he would pass it off as simple teenage laziness. But this wasn't Ash; while Ash cared about three things - food, sleep, and pokemon - sleep was never high on Gary's priority list. His excessive sleep raised red flags for the professor, especially after the talk they'd had on Michelle's birthday at the beginning of the month.

He walked across the room and gently shook Gary's shoulder; he barely stirred and Umbreon raised her head to peer curiously at the professor. He shook harder, "Gary."

"What?" The groggy response was muffled by a pillow and Gary was barely awake.

"Wake up."

Gary raised his head enough to glare sleepily at his grandfather before closing his eyes and resting his head on the pillow again.

"Do you realize how long you've been asleep?"

"Can't have been that long, considering it's still light out."

Professor Oak raised his eyebrows slightly. "It's Thursday, Gary."

That got his attention. Gary rolled onto his back and sat up slightly. "What?" He sounded surprised and slightly confused.

"Yes. It's almost eleven; we have to leave in an hour to pick up Alex at the airport in Pewter."

Gary cursed softly and let his head fall back against the pillows. "That means I've been asleep for over twenty hours." He groaned, surprised that he was able to comprehend that fact in his current state of exhaustion.

"Twenty hours?" His grandfather echoed. "Gary, are you feeling okay?"

Gary sighed and closed his eyes briefly. He didn't feel like talking about the way he was feeling, not when he couldn't even bring himself to think about what happened the day before. He was still shocked that he had managed to sleep nearly twenty-two hours. He realized dimly that he hadn't eaten in over twenty-four hours and was vaguely surprised that he wasn't hungry in the slightest. He met his grandfathers eyes and considered lying, just telling him that he was tired and ignoring everything that had happened to deal with it all later. He remembered that he was trying to change though.

"I did something really stupid that backfired on me." He finally said softly, stroking Umbreon's glossy fur. The pokemon gave him a look as if to say 'that's a major understatement'. The professor raised his eyebrows and sat down on the bed next to him, encouraging him to go on. Rolling his eyes, he continued even though it was the last thing he felt like doing. "I told you about what goes on between Anna and I." He was choosing his words carefully, not wanting to give away to much information about the situation. "I ended up getting involved with someone else, who Anna encouraged to – anyway, it got more involved than things usually do and I didn't know what to do so I just started avoiding them both until I knew what to do. Then I got in a fight with the other person and now Tra-they – they're mad at me." He quickly covered his slip and hoped ardently that his grandfather didn't catch it. "Then Anna told me yesterday that we couldn't keep up our relationship the way it is and that I have to decide whether we're going to be just friends or more."

He watched warily as his grandfather leaned back against the headboard, taking in everything Gary had said. He had either missed the slip or ignored it. Finally he spoke. "I would think that would be something easy for you to do, Gary. With the way you and Anna act around each other."

Gary frowned slightly. "We've talked about a serious relationship before," he said after hesitating a moment. "In the past we've always been so wrapped up in our problems that it could never work but she changed while I was away at school and now she's thinking about going back to school to be a teacher of all things and she's been off of her medicine for like a year. Suddenly everything's changing between us and I'm still trying to figure out my own stuff." He paused, feeling his grandfather's eyes on him as he gazed out the still-open windows. "I just don't know what it is that I want." He admitted softly.

The professor nodded, thinking about what Gary had said. This whole thing with Anna certainly explained his grandson's sullen mood, considering how close they were. Despite missing many things in Gary's life, he had noticed his relationship with May's friend grow over the course of several years. He had noticed them slip off together, returning later seeming more cheerful than before. He had watched them from the lab as they hung out together in the yard, seeming carefree and caught up in their youth. He had heard their laughter drifting through the halls of the house as they played guitar together. Most of all, he had noticed the small smile whenever Gary looked at her, he had noticed the looks they shared, he had noticed the gentle kisses between them when they thought no one was looking.

"You just don't want to ruin what you two have." Professor Oak said softly.

Gary nodded slightly.

He sighed, wanting to tell his grandson to just throw his caution to the wind and take the relationship to a higher level. He couldn't do that though, he knew he had to let his grandson figure it out for himself. "You'll figure it out." He said gently, watching as Gary's eyes fell on the comforter that was pooled in his lap.

"Yeah," The response was soft, dejected but still indicated that he was stopping the conversation and pulling the walls back up. Some things never changed.

"Well, you should get dressed and have something to eat. We have to leave soon." The professor stood up.

"Why do you need both of us to go with you?" Gary asked suddenly as his grandfather placed a hand on the doorknob.

"Alex - Dr. Harris to you - is bringing a bunch of equipment for the new research project we're starting work on and I need you and Tracey to help us load it into the van."

Gary rolled his eyes as his grandfather left the room. He glanced down at the pokemon lying at his side.

"He's lying, isn't he?" He asked rhetorically as he looked at Umbreon's intelligent eyes.

She let out a soft bark of agreement and jumped off of the bed and walked into the closet. She was telling him to get out of bed. Sighing, he stood up, thinking of how ironic it was that he was pretty much taking orders from a pokemon he had raised and trained for several years.

--- --- ---

Tracey was leaning against the couch in the sitting room waiting for Gary to come downstairs while Professor Oak finished some last minute plans before leaving. He still hadn't seen Gary since their argument and figured Gary probably didn't want to even be near him at the moment.

Professor Oak walked into the room holding the keys to the van they were taking to Pewter City. He rolled his eyes when he saw that Tracey was alone and left the room.

"Gary! Come on, we were supposed to leave ten minutes ago!"

Tracey walked into the hallway in time to see Gary coming down the stairs, still pulling on a shirt. His hair was wet and hung in a dark sheet of tangles down his back, as though he had just stepped out of the shower only moments ago. Judging by the irritated expression on his face, Tracey guessed that was exactly the case.

Despite how annoyed Tracey was with Gary in regards to yesterday, he marveled at how attractive the boy was, even with his wet hair in tangles, tattered jeans resting loosely on his hips, even with exhaustion and melancholy evident on his face as he delicately untangled the wires to his headphones.

--- --- ---

Gary deliberately ignored Tracey as he climbed into the back seat of the van, as far away from Tracey in the front passenger seat as he could get. The last thing he had wanted to do this morning was leave the safe refuge of his bed where he could have easily slept the entire day. He supposed he could still sleep in the van on the hour and a half long drive to the airport at the outskirts of Pewter City.

He lay across the back seat, slipping his headphones on as his grandfather started the van, causing a Jimmy Buffet song to drift out of the speakers uncomfortably close to Gary's head. Gary shook his head with a roll of his eyes. 'Figures.' He thought as he switched to the shuffle mode on his Zune, hoping to fall asleep.

But sleep eluded him regardless of how exhausted he felt. He tried desperately to keep his mind blank but failed miserably, Anna kept coming to mind. The songs that kept coming on didn't help matters, as each of them reminded him painfully of their affection. He sighed softly as he brooded. It was interesting to think that nearly every song he had heard along the drive was a love song, or as close to a love song that metal could get.

'Seriously! Ever dream, bed of razors, love you to death, razorblade salvation, energize me – thank god powerslave isn't a fucking love song!' He thought bitterly. It was true too, all of the songs were by metal bands he loved – Nightwish, Children of Bodom, Kamelot, Sinergy, After Forever – yet he could only feel hatred for them at that particular moment considering the songs were driving him insane.

The drive passed relatively uneventfully, with the exception of Gary incessantly cursing fate silently. They arrived at the small private airport around two-thirty and Tracey and the professor had climbed out of the van quickly to eagerly await the arrival of the helicopter. Gary climbed out several minutes later, finally growing sick of the way laying on the seat caused his muscles to cramp. He leaned against the side of the vehicle next to his grandfather, wondering why exactly he had come along. The helicopter landed on the other side of the van and the engines shut down. Tracey and Professor Oak walked around to the other side immediately while Gary waited for the dust kicked up from the landing to settle a bit.

When he finally walked to the other side of the van he was greeted by the sight of his grandfather speaking happily with a man in casual slacks and a button-down gray shirt open over a black t-shirt, a brown ponytail showing few streaks of gray hung past his shoulders. He smiled when he saw Gary appear and slipped an arm around Gary's shoulders to pull him in for a brief fatherly embrace.

"It's good to see you, Gary." He said as he pulled away. "How are you?"

"It's good to see you too." Gary replied honestly before answering the question with a small lie. "I'm fine."

"Well, you certainly will be fine after you see what I brought with me." Dr. Harris was smirking.

Gary looked confused. "Grandpa said you were bringing equipment with you."

"Gary, do you honestly think I would drag you out of the house just to unload equipment?" His grandfather asked with a smile.

Gary was truly baffled now. "Then why am I here?" He asked exasperatedly. With his back to the helicopter, he didn't even see the blonde boy approach him from behind.

"You're here to greet me, you idiot." Gary whirled around at the voice, shocked to see Andrew behind him.

Gary could feel his eyes widen and a grin break out across his face as he hugged his close friend. "God, I missed you." He sighed as he reveled in Andrew's presence, taking in the spicy scent of his cologne, the silky feel of his hair beneath his hands.

"I missed you too. It's been boring not having someone to kill me at guitar." Andrew replied with a grin as he pulled away from Gary.

Gary had been so happy to see Andrew that he hadn't noticed petite brunette that had appeared next to them. Chelsea smiled and hugged Gary as Andrew stepped back. "You know," she began as she pulled away from the hug, "It's been so weird not having to worry about my lab partner puking all over our projects this semester."

"Oh, shut up." Gary said laughing as he looked up to see Chris walk up to the group.

"Good to see you again, Gary." He said with a small smile.

"What are you guys doing here?" Gary asked incredulously, still reeling from the shock of their sudden appearance.

"Tracey and May had a pretty big hand in it, actually." Professor Oak said, placing a hand on Tracey's shoulder as if to emphasize the role he played in the surprise.

'Now I really feel like an ass for being so stupid yesterday.' Gary thought as he met Tracey's eyes and smiled sheepishly, hoping Tracey would notice the apologetic look in his eyes. He did and nodded slightly. Gary would have to thank him later.

Gary grabbed Tracey's wrist as the others walked to the helicopter a few minutes later to get out their belongings. "I owe you." Gary said softly.

"Don't worry about it." There was a certain stiffness to Tracey's voice that wasn't lost on Gary.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it." Tracey looked away from Gary.

Glancing behind him to make sure no one was watching, Gary lead Tracey to the other side of the van. Meeting Tracey's eyes, Gary lowered his head slightly and brushed his lips against Tracey's, pulling away before Tracey could deepen the kiss.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Tracey didn't have to ask what he was apologizing for, he understood. "There isn't a chance of us going further, is there?" Tracey asked softly.

"I'm sorry, Tracey."

Tracey nodded. "I should've realized that nothing could've come between you and Anna. Friends?"

"Friends." Gary agreed as he contemplated what Tracey had said about him and Anna.

--- --- ---

The ride back to Pallet went much faster than the ride to Pewter had. Gary felt incredibly happy to be with his friends again and was happy to have made up with Tracey; but he still had a sinking feeling in his stomach when he thought of Anna.

Gary was surprised when they got home to see Michelle and Anna in the kitchen helping May and Bella cook. He pulled Anna aside as May showed everyone the guest rooms upstairs. Looking into her hazel eyes he thought she was more beautiful than ever before, now that he couldn't have her. She looked tired; her long hair was pulled back sloppily, leaving strands hanging loose all over the place around her face. She wore little makeup, only lip gloss and a small amount of gray eye shadow. Gary knew her beauty wasn't like Bella's or May's; still, she was sheer perfection to him, even disheveled as she was with her jeans more tattered than the ones he was wearing and an off-shoulder Metallica shirt that he despised seeing her wear.

"I thought about what you said yesterday –"

"Not now, Gary. You haven't had much time to think about it, May told me how much you slept since yesterday. Wait until Saturday. Think more and then talk to me. I don't want to rush into anything."

She turned and walked away from him and Gary could feel his heart sink. Saturday was only two days away, he reminded himself. He could wait if Andrew and his other friends distracted him.

--- --- ---

Gary had been surprised that Chris had brought his electric drum kit with him. He knew it didn't take much room when it was packed up so he wasn't entirely sure why he was so surprised. Either way, he had been nearly ecstatic when Chris had asked him if he could set it up in the music room. Having missed playing with his close friends, Gary and Andrew had rearranged amps along one wall, stacking some on top of others, and pushed the couch against the free wall to clear the middle of the room. Chris had set up near the middle of the room with the module hooked up to an amp.

Gary was showing off the guitar he had bought only a few days after returning home while Andrew was rambling on about some guitar he had seen in a store that he wanted. Gary watched Chelsea examine the bass guitars, gingerly testing the weight of each one before selecting the smallest one – a dark blue Ibanez five-string.

They played for hours, Andrew switching guitars every so often and Gary switching between guitars and keyboards. It was fun, a type of fun that Gary hadn't had in months. They played songs by bands they knew, sometimes switching suddenly into another song or breaking off into a random solo battle between Gary and Andrew. Tracey and Michelle had slipped into the room at some point and joined the laughter, feeding off of the gaiety and energy in the room until May opened the door and announced that dinner was ready. Gary waited, pretending to fix the settings on one of the amps while everyone left the room. When only Tracey was left in the room, hesitating in the doorway as he waited for Gary to finish, he walked to the chest of drawers and pulled open the bottom drawer.

"What are you doing?" Tracey asked as he watched Gary push aside a box in the drawer.

"Something I should have done a long time ago." Gary replied flatly as he pulled out the knife that was in the back of the drawer.

Tracey's eyes widened and he stepped forward, ready to yank the blade out of Gary's hands. "What are you doing with that?" He asked warily.

"Relax, I'm not going to cut myself." Gary stood up and walked out of the room with Tracey at his heels.

Hearing everyone talking in the dining room, Gary slipped into the garage, Tracey still following him worriedly. He exited the garage through the side door and opened one of the large trash cans next to the side of the house. Smiling grimly, Gary tossed the knife in the can and closed it again. "I'm done." He said simply to Tracey.

"With what?" Tracey asked, still worried.

Gary smiled and held out his arms for Tracey to see the scars. "I don't need any more scars - I think I have more than enough to last a lifetime." He explained softly.

Finally understanding, Tracey smiled in response. "I'm glad," he said honestly.

"So am I."

--- --- ---

Gary groaned inwardly as he and Tracey stepped into the dining room and saw the seats that had been left for them. One was next to his grandfather and across from Dr. Harris, down at the other end of the table was another seat – across from Chris and between Andrew and Anna. Tracey took his seat with the professors while Gary reluctantly pulled out the chair next to Anna.

He glanced at Anna and immediately regretted it as a rush of memories suddenly rushed through him as he eyed the bright green bra strap that rested on her shoulder, standing out from her pale flesh and the dark fabric of her off-shoulder top.

--- --- ---

"_What do you think?" Anna asked as she pulled up the fitting room door in the lingerie store that she had dragged Gary, not entirely unwillingly, into._

_Gary's eyes widened slightly as he sized up the green lacy bra that hugged her breasts._

"_Looks a little loose. Here, let me fix it." _

_Anna turned and allowed Gary to adjust the straps, his sapphire eyes locked on Anna's reflection in the mirror that she stood before._

_Gary stepped away and Anna turned to face him with a cocked eyebrow._

"_Much better."_

--- --- ---

"_You're drunk."_

"_No, I'm not." Anna giggled as she plopped onto the couch next to Gary._

_She extended her arms before her, dancing seductively to the Cradle of Filth song that came on. Gary chuckled softly._

"_No, no, no. You're doing it wrong, Anna. First you have to take off this shirt," He pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it on the floor. "Now you need to stand up." He dragged her to her feet._

_Anna moved her body seductively to the music, swaying her hips and rolling her head so that her hair fell in her face. She slowly fingered the edge of her jeans, undoing the zipper before languidly sliding the jeans down her legs to reveal a green lace thong that matched the bright green bra. Gary watched intently, never taking his eyes off of her as he tossed back a shot, feeling the alcohol slide down his throat, flaring the fire he could feel engulfing every bit of him._

_Taking her hands, he sat on the couch and smirked as she slid over his waist. Placing her hands on his face, Anna leaned forward and kissed Gary deeply._

--- --- ---

"_But I don't _want _to go swimming!"_

_Anna pulled her shirt over her head and carefully unhooked her bra while Gary watched, looking mildly annoyed. "Oh, stop whining. Why are you so dead set against going in the pool anyways?" _

_Anna turned her back to him and held her bikini top up to her chest. Gary sighed and stepped forward to obediently tie the strings._

"_The water's too cold."_

"_It's August! How is the water too cold, Gary?"_

_Gary stepped back as Anna slipped off her torn jeans, nervously fingering the edge of his long-sleeved shirt. He stopped when Anna turned to face him after pulling on the bottom of her bathing suit. She noticed anyway and smiled gently._

"_It's just me, May, Bella, and Michelle. It's not a big deal, you've been swimming around them before."_

_Gary sighed and leaned against his dresser. "Yeah, when I was like thirteen."_

"_Never mind, I'm going downstairs. I would at least appreciate you coming down by us if you decide to stop being stubborn." Anna turned and left the room, leaving Gary to brood alone._

--- --- ---

Gary sighed as he sat down, causing Andrew and Chris to look up at him in surprise.

He felt out of place throughout dinner, watching Chris and Bella chat with a hint of flirtation, shooting occasional glances at Anna as she talked with May and Michelle. Talking with Andrew and Chelsea didn't help much as he felt his focus constantly slipping to the girl on his right.

Andrew suddenly leaned close to him. "Are you alright?" He asked loud enough for only Gary to hear him.

"I'm fine." Gary replied calmly, smirking slightly as he watched Bella slip into full flirt mode with Chris.

Andrew rolled his eyes. "Bullshit, you've been out of it all day."

"I'm tired." Gary snapped, meeting Andrew's eyes stubbornly.

Andrew shrugged off Gary's harsh tone, simply replying "We'll talk later."

--- --- ---

May leaned against the railing of the porch next to Gary while he was talking to Andrew and Chelsea about something having to do with school. May yawned and leaned her head against Gary' shoulder while she watched fireflies flutter around the yard.

"Chris seems to really like Bella." Chelsea said with a grin to May.

May smiled in return, looking over at the table on the other side of the long porch at Chris and Bella who were animatedly conversing. "Bella's been saying all week how she's hoping to get laid this weekend, I wonder how long it'll be before they slip off for Bella to show Chris her special bellydance moves in the bedroom." She replied casually.

"If she wanted to get laid so badly, why didn't she just ask Gary?" Chelsea asked with a laugh.

"Because Gary's intimidated by her." May said smugly, ignoring Gary as he denied her claim. "Besides, Gary's been too busy between Tracey and Anna to even pursue another person." Gary glared at his sister after shooting a nervous glance at Tracey and Anna where they were talking with Michelle and Dr. Harris on the lawn a few meters away. "Speaking of Anna, did you two get in a fight or something?" May suddenly asked.

Gary groaned and tilted his head back to look at the dark night sky before responding. "Basically she cut off everything between us until Saturday and said that our relationship has to change." He explained, keeping his voice flat.

May looked surprised at first but her look turned to one of concern. "That's why you've been so out of it today." She said softly.

Gary nodded morosely, watching Michelle and Tracey laughing with Anna in the yard. Andrew and Chelsea didn't know what to say and stayed silent while May appeared to be contemplating something.

"What did she say about your relationship?" May finally asked.

"She said that I have to decide whether we're just friends or … more."

"Or more?" Andrew echoed. "Is that even possible for you?" He asked teasingly, receiving a scowl in response. Andrew and May exchanged a surprised look. Normally Gary would at least smile at that type of comment, if not laugh. "Shit, you're actually serious." Andrew said, mildly shocked.

May grinned suddenly. "So here's your chance, you said yourself that things are getting more serious between you two!"

"What's your point?" Gary asked, sounding miserable. "Things will just end up like they did with Kate."

"You and Kate were good friends, Gary. You had no real connection with her and you know it, you knew it back then too; that's why you cheated on her with Anna." May said exasperatedly.

"I only met Anna that one time that she came up to school to visit for the metal festival last year," Andrew began. "But you definitely have a connection with her that you don't have with anyone else. To be honest, you two act like incestuous siblings."

Gary snorted softly in amusement before turning serious once more. "Yeah, but incestuous siblings don't have serious relationships, Andrew."

"You two don't act like incestuous siblings, Andrew was joking – weren't you, you douche bag?" Chelsea asked, punching Andrew's shoulder. "You two act like…" She paused with a frown, trying to think of what to say.

"Like a couple." May finished for her. "Which is why you should go ahead and take advantage of this!"

Gary glared at her suddenly. "You said that we were nothing more than friends that got drunk and fucked!" He said, apparently louder than he meant to because Professor Oak and Dr. Harris both looked up at him in surprise from the lawn.

Gary flushed slightly and apologized to his grandfather for his sudden outburst before lowering his voice. "May, you've always insinuated that you didn't want the two of us to be together, even as friends!" He hissed at her.

"And _you_ always said that you two could never be serious because you were both too self-destructive. Then you yourself pointed out that she hasn't cut herself and I know that she's been off of meds for a long time now. You haven't cut yourself in, how long? Two months almost?"

Gary sighed. "Two months isn't a very long time. And she said that it's been two years since she cut herself, a year since she went off of medication and she's only been drinking with me."

"I thought you weren't supposed to be drinking, Gary." Chelsea reprimanded.

"You promised you wouldn't after what happened in July." Andrew said softly.

Gary sighed loudly. "This is exactly why I haven't tried anything serious with her, May! I can't even keep a simple promise to two of my best friends! I couldn't even keep my word when I told Kate that I wouldn't cheat on her when we were dating – "

"You were only fifteen!" May interrupted. "Teenagers never keep their promises; that's why they have the reputation that they do!"

"May, I've broken so many promises and screwed up so many friendships that I'm scared I'll just end up fucking this whole thing up –"

"Gary, shut up for a minute and use your fucking brain." Andrew cut in.

Gary fell silent and looked at the ground, feeling like an idiot after his outburst.

"Gary, you nearly killed yourself and couldn't go through with it because you were more worried about Anna and May, think about what that implies." Chelsea said reasonably.

"Yeah, you love the hell out of May, you guys seriously have the best sibling relationship I've fucking seen." Andrew added.

"If Anna's included in the same boat as me, what does that say about how you feel about her?" May asked gently.

Gary pushed away from the railing suddenly. "I have to go." He said, failing to think of anything else to say.

"And where are you going to go?" Chelsea asked.

"Don't know, don't care." Gary replied as he entered the kitchen through the back door and hurried towards the stairs, feeling incredibly claustrophobic.

He felt frantic as he rushed up the stairs and into his bedroom. He gazed around the room at the dark walls as he forced all thoughts of the conversation out of his head, afraid to let himself admit to the deep feelings that May and his friends had suggested. He desperately needed to clear his mind, to find a foothold among his confused thoughts and find a way to make sense of them.

He sat on his bed for several minutes before pushing himself off of the bed and quickly changing his clothes. He opened the door, intending on slipping out the front door to avoid seeing anyone, and nearly walked into Chelsea. Surprised, he took in her appearance; she had changed out of her jeans and form-fitting t-shirt into running shorts and a long-sleeved shirt.

"I figured you would go running. You always do that when you have a lot on your mind." She explained softly.

Gary sighed as he glanced down at his gym shorts and running shoes, appearance mimicking hers. "I was hoping to be alone." He told her flatly.

"Guess you're not getting that wish." She replied with a smile. "I'm just tagging along, you know that. Just like at school."

Gary nodded, remembering how Chelsea had often tagged along when he went running to clear his mind, remaining silent with the exception of her steady breathing and steady footsteps.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Just a brief aside on the songs that were annoying Gary on the drive – I know the titles mentioned in his thoughts don't sound like love songs but they actually are. Metal love songs just aren't as airy-fairy as pop or rock songs.

I picture Professor Oak as a bit of an eccentric, hence his music choice for the car ride. Similarly, he doesn't drive just any type of van but one of those old Volkswagen buses from the 1960's (nicely restored, of course, considering he has plenty of money to do it, being a world-renowned professor).

Also, a quick note on Andrew – he's a bit mouthy and crazy but he definitely notices things about Gary and has a certain wisdom to him that we'll see later.


	17. Chapter 17: Decisions

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 17: Decisions

The run with Chelsea had been refreshing, despite leaving Gary deeply chilled from the cold night air. He had snuck upstairs to his room without being noticed by anyone and slipped into the shower to warm up under the steady stream of hot water.

The bathroom door opened quietly after several minutes and closed a moment later, Gary figured it was either May or Andrew wanting to talk to him. He was surprised when a hand pulled back the dark curtain and Tracey stepped under the stream of water with him.

Tracey smirked slightly and gently pushed Gary against the wall and claimed his mouth with his lips. Gary swiftly deepened the kiss, surprised and pinned to the wall yet unwilling to relinquish control over the situation.

Pulling away, Gary steadily met Tracey's deep eyes. "What are you doing?" He asked, pushing wet strands of black hair off of Tracey's face.

"Helping you decide." Tracey replied simply, kissing Gary again.

Gary pulled back sharply. "What?"

Tracey sighed and ran his hands through Gary's hair, fingers getting caught in the wet tangles. "I talked to Anna and I figured that since I'm partially responsible for this situation that I would help you decide if you want her."

"And you plan on doing that by making out with me in the shower?" Gary asked sarcastically, pulling away as Tracey kissed him again.

Tracey slid his lips down Gary's throat as he trailed his hands along the back of Gary's shoulders. "If you could only fuck one person for the rest of your life, who would it be, Gary?" He murmured against the younger boy's neck.

Gary fell silent, knowing the answer without even having to think of it.

"Tracey, you know this –"

"Shut up, Gary. It's just sex - you should be familiar with this concept." Tracey pressed himself against Gary and kissed him roughly, allowing his hands to wander as the kiss deepened.

Tracey allowed Gary to take control of the situation and ended up against the wall with Gary's body sheltering him from the flow of water while hands slid across slick flesh. Gary broke the fierce kiss when Tracey's hand slipped between them and slowly slid down Gary's chest.

"I can't –"

"Damn it, Gary, it's just sex –"

"No - Trace, the water's cold."

Tracey chuckled, realizing the issue and pushed Gary away from him so he could turn off the water. "That's why you turn off the water, genius." He said smugly, surprised at how much Gary's cynical attitude had worn off on him over the past few months.

He pushed aside the shower curtain and, grasping Gary's hand, tugged the other boy towards the bedroom.

--- --- ---

It had been short but fierce and pleasurable – full of bites and scratches, kisses and caresses. Tracey leaned against the headboard when they were done, his fingers entwined in Gary's hair, languidly tousling the long strands. Gary was laying on his stomach next to him, close enough for Tracey to feel his breath against his thigh as they composed themselves once more. Tracey removed his hand and Gary raised his head enough to meet his eyes; Tracey blushed slightly under the intensity of the gaze.

"So… do you have any idea what you're doing about – "

"Oh, don't start." Gary cut off Tracey's inquiry and rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling. "It seems like that's all everyone wants to hear from me."

"That's because everyone knows how close you two are. It would be sad to see your friendship destroyed over something like this." Tracey explained softly.

"That's really not helping, Trace."

Tracey chuckled softly, loving the way his name rolled so easily off of Gary's tongue despite the obvious irritation. "You still didn't answer my question." He reminded Gary as he allowed his fingers to once more slip through Gary's hair.

Gary appeared to be in deep thought for several minutes before responding. "I think I do." He said slowly.

"Just to put in my two cents worth, I think you should go for it with her." Gary rolled his eyes slightly, growing tired of hearing people say that, even though Tracey was only the second to say it. "I won't lie, what's between us is awesome, I would love it to go further than this. You know how in movies and stuff there'll be a couple and one of them goes off and has an affair with someone because they have this connection with that person but it's nothing at all like what's between them and their husband or wife or whatever?" Gary nodded slowly. "That's kind of how I feel about our relationship. It seems like you and Anna are the couple and we just have this… I don't know, electric connection that's so awesome but it's not like the one between you and Anna. I know you're not comfortable going further than this when it comes to sex so I don't think things can go further for us."

"Because all couples have intercourse, Tracey." Gary added sarcastically.

Tracey rolled his eyes and playfully smacked Gary's head. "I know that, you pain in the ass. But seriously, Gary, you and Anna – you can just see it between the two of you, it's so blatant. We could never have anything that open, could we?"

Gary frowned and closed his eyes; this was one of the many things that had circulated his mind so often recently.

"Don't think too much about it." Tracey said, seeming to read Gary's mind. "Thinking about it won't change things. Thing is, Gary, you're too secretive, too guarded to let yourself be involved in a relationship that's public, so to speak. You've hidden what's happened between us - I mean, I know May guessed it and I know Anna knows, but you hid it."

Tracey stood up and walked to Gary's desk where he had folded his clothes before entering the bathroom nearly an hour ago. Gary lay on the bed in silence, still entirely nude with his wet hair leaving a wet stain across the pillow that he had pulled behind his head. Tracey sighed as he pulled on his jeans before walking back over to the bed and sitting next to Gary.

"Anna's spending the night in one of the guest rooms. Apparently she had a pretty bad fight with Rachael and didn't want to stay home. I think you should probably talk to her tomorrow, avoiding each other will only put more of a strain on you two." He mused quietly, watching Gary brood silently.

--- --- ---

Time was passing slowly. So horrifically slow. Gary had been awake for an hour, trying to go back to sleep, listlessly watching the minutes go by on the clock. It was seven in the morning, normally he would be running or just waking up but today he was just lying on his bed. It had been less than twelve hours since he ran with Chelsea, what was the point in running now?

His mind had been blissfully blank upon waking and he had Tracey to thank for that. He had stayed awake for less than half an hour after Tracey left his room, silently mulling over what Tracey had said, before letting himself slip off to sleep. His dreams had been confusing, enticingly erotic with jumbled memories of the best times with Anna with intermingled fantasies of Tracey and Andrew and whorish images of Kate. Despite the confusing mix of sensual images brought forth during his sleep, he felt surprisingly refreshed and somewhat enlightened.

A door down the hall opened and closed quietly and Gary heard soft footsteps trace a path through the hall, pausing slightly at his door before continuing to the stairs. Sitting up, he slid off the bed to pull on a pair of boxers as he walked to the door. He walked silently to the stairs and peered over the banister to see Anna disappear into the kitchen wearing her black bikini. Confused, Gary walked back to his room and pulled open the curtains to peer down at the pool in the yard. Anna appeared a moment later, tossing a towel on a lounge chair before slowly stepping into the water. She looked up at his window, as if sensing his watchful gaze; she saw him and smiled warmly before slipping under the water. Gary admired the way her long hair flowed freely in the water, the way the water caressed her curves as she effortlessly passed through it.

Gary sighed and left the windows to walk out of the room and down the stairs. The kitchen was thankfully empty when he strode across it to the back door and slipped out onto the porch. He walked to the pool area and watched as Anna floated in the water gracefully with her eyes closed, a slight smile on her face. Gary smiled, knowing how much Anna loved the water.

He dove in without hesitating, suppressing the urge to shriek when his body hit the cold water – didn't his grandfather understand the use of a heater? He surfaced not too far from Anna, gasping for breath.

"Can't hold your breath as long as you used to, huh?" Anna's voice drifted across the water to him.

Gary shook his head. "I didn't expect the water to be this cold."

Anna smiled, her eyes lighting up in silent laughter. "That's why you test the water first, silly."

"Well, you know I like to make an entrance." Gary returned her smile.

"You had already achieved fashionably late, in your underwear I might add, did you really need the dramatic entrance as well?" Anna leaned against the side of the pool, her arms spread on the walls as she slowly moved her long legs through the water in front of her.

Gary laughed softly as he swam towards her. "Probably not." He admitted.

Anna grinned. "You would have wussed out if you realized how cold the water was before jumping in." She teased.

Gary only smiled in return, admiring the way that long black hair clung to her when it was wet. His hands itched to touch her, to stroke her long legs, to untie that triangle top clinging to her chest.

"You chose an interesting time to go for a run last night." Anna said softly after a few minutes, tilting her head to the side.

"You chose an interesting time to go for a swim this morning." Gary retorted, raising an eyebrow.

"Touché, I've been getting up earlier lately. And I figured that this would be the time you would be most likely to join me." She admitted, brazenly meeting Gary's gaze.

"You wanted me to swim with you?"

"Well, if I can't have sex with you, I'd at least like to admire your figure." Anna answered with a smirk. "You look good when you're wet."

Gary smiled slightly and reached out a hand to touch her leg as she gently moved it past him under the water. Anna slid under the water and slipped silently past him, toward the steps and Gary cursed himself silently.

"It's only Friday." Anna reminded Gary as she surfaced in the shallow water near the steps.

She climbed out of the water without looking at Gary while he watched water droplets slide down her back and legs. Gary sighed as she picked up her towel and slowly wiped water off of her legs, wondering if she had any idea how much it was driving him crazy to see her dripping wet in that bikini and not be able to do anything with her.

"You should get out of the water before you get hypothermia." Anna said, wringing the water out of her hair.

Gary sighed and pulled himself out of the water, not bothering to use the stairs. Anna tossed him her towel and turned to walk back into the house with a final silent smile. Following her to the house, Gary knew exactly what he wanted and wondered how exactly he would make it through the day without it.

--- --- ---

Tracey was sprawled across the couch in the den watching in amusement as Gary and Andrew played the Sega while playfully arguing and trying to mess each other up when May came down the stairs with Chelsea and Michelle in tow. Bella, who had been playing pool with Chris and Anna, smiled at May and gave her a wink, May and Michelle laughed while Chelsea sat in an armchair to watch Gary and Andrew.

"May and I are going to the mall in a little bit, want to come with us?" Michelle asked Tracey as she sat on the arm of the couch that Tracey was laying on.

Tracey was about to respond when Gary suddenly tossed Andrew's controller across the room, narrowly missing May, who glared at her younger brother.

"You suck!" Andrew yelled, trying to wrestle Gary's controller away from him.

"You swallow." Gary deadpanned with a smirk as he held the controller away from Andrew.

"So do you!" Andrew responded as he yanked the controller away with enough force to unplug it from the console.

Tracey laughed and shook his head as Gary's cheeks darkened considerably before he and Andrew began wrestling playfully on the floor. Michelle raised her eyebrows at Andrew's reply before turning back to Tracey.

"Coming with us?" She asked again.

"Sure." Tracey agreed as he watched Andrew pin Gary to the ground, straddling his waist and gripping Gary's wrists in his hands.

"Get off of me!"

Andrew laughed and lowered his head closer to Gary's, murmuring something to the younger boy that Tracey couldn't hear. Gary shifted his weight to gain enough leverage to shove Andrew off of him and suddenly both teens were laughing hysterically.

"Do I have to separate you two?" Chris called out from the other side of the room.

"More than likely." Chelsea replied while she regarded Gary and Andrew with an amused smirk.

"Anyways," May began loudly, smacking her brother in the head. Gary sobered and glared up at her. "Michelle, Trace, and I are going to the mall if anyone wants to come."

Gary glanced at Andrew before meeting Chelsea's eyes and asking if they wanted to go. Chelsea had agreed and told Chris and Andrew that she expected them to come along as well.

--- --- ---

A half hour later found Gary driving Andrew, Chelsea, Chris, and Tracey to the mall in Viridian City while May had opted to drive Michelle, Bella, and Anna in her own car. Once at the mall, Chris went off with Bella and Chelsea went off with the other three girls, leaving Gary, Tracey, and Andrew to fend for themselves. Gary groaned when he realized he was stuck with Andrew and Tracey, he had been hoping to either slip off on his own or go off with his sister. There was one specific reason he had agreed to come to the mall, he had even called Rachael to confirm a vital piece of information to buy what he needed but he couldn't do it with Tracey and Andrew.

Feeling his stomach twist in knots as he casually walked through the mall with his two close friends, he finally stopped at the food court and told them that they needed to sit down for a few minutes. Andrew looked suspicious and after several minutes of watching Gary fidget nervously asked what was going on. Gary finally sighed and explained quietly to the two boys what it was that needed to buy, surprisingly, Andrew didn't have the obnoxious reaction that Gary feared. Instead, he offered to help by keeping a lookout for Anna and the other girls with Tracey while Gary was in the store in question.

All fears and doubts had evaporated when he found what he was looking for; he knew he was doing the right thing when he found it so easily. It was perfect for Anna – delicate white gold with a celtic design and a small round ruby, her birthstone, bordered on either side by a tiny diamond. It wasn't particularly expensive either – Anna would kill him if he spent a ton of money on her. The price didn't matter to him though, she was worth it.

"Are you sure about this?" Andrew asked him quietly as he slipped the small box into the pocket of his cargo pants.

"Of course. I wouldn't be doing it if I wasn't, you know that." Gary replied as they walked into the music store.

--- --- ---

He was nervous and had no idea why – he had been perfectly clear on his decision this morning when he had made up his mind. He had no hesitations when he had bought the pretty ring this afternoon, so why was he apprehensive now? Slipping his cell phone out of his pocket, he checked the time. Twelve-oh-three.

It was definitely Saturday now.

He knocked tentatively on the door of the room Anna was staying in and quietly entered when he heard her voice call to "come in".

Anna was lying on the bed with her legs crossed at the ankles and arms folded behind her head. Gary wondered if she had been anticipating his visit as her hair was brushed until it shone, her makeup was perfectly applied to emphasize her features, and she was wearing only a pair of purple boyshort-style panties and a matching tank top. She raised her eyebrows slightly in inquiry when he closed and locked the door behind him.

"It's Saturday." Gary said simply.

Anna glanced at the clock on the nightstand. "So it is." She replied with a small smile. "Reached your decision?"

Gary nodded silently and sat beside her on the bed, nervously tugging at his long-sleeved shirt. Every fiber in his body itched to touch her, every nerve ached to be caressed by her long fingers that were tipped in red nail polish.

"And?"

Gary smiled slightly at her persistence before speaking. "I really didn't know what to do until Tracey cornered me in the shower last night." He admitted honestly. "I guess I was too afraid to think of our relationship changing to really think about how I feel about you." He paused, he truly had no idea what to say.

Choosing to let his actions speak for him, Gary leaned forward and kissed Anna's lips gently as he slipped the dainty ring out of his pocket and onto her right-hand ring finger. He broke the kiss and raised her hand to his lips. Anna gazed wide-eyed at the small ring before stuttering his name softly.

"Notice it's on your right hand, not your left." Gary said softly, playing with a strand of Anna's hair. "I wanted to show you that you're so much more than my best friend or my little… fuck buddy or drinking buddy."

"So what am I to you now?"

"My girlfriend hopefully." Gary said softly.

Anna slipped her hands behind his neck and kissed him softly. "Good choice." She whispered in his ear after pulling away.

Gary's eyes widened slightly and he broke into a shy grin. "Really?"

Anna laughed softly, running her hands through his hair. "You're so adorable when you smile like that." She kissed him again. "I'm yours entirely." She whispered huskily against his lips.

--- --- ---

Gary couldn't recall ever feeling more content in his life as Anna slept soundly in his arms. It was amazing how time had sped up from the moment he had entered her room to the moment he drifted to sleep with Anna curled next to him to now, when he lay awake in the morning with Anna's head on his chest and her arms wrapped around his waist as she slept. Gently running his fingers through her ebony hair, Gary hoped like hell that he wouldn't mess this up, he hoped his grandfather approved of their relationship, he hoped his friends accepted what they had between them.

He was amazed at how suddenly things had changed for him. Had it really only been three months since he woke up in the hospital to realize that he had nearly killed himself? Somehow that suicidal teenager seemed like an entirely different person from a different era. He hoped it would stay that way.

Gary gazed down at her for a moment before realizing that her eyes were open and had been for the last several minutes.

"Spaced out a bit, didn't you?" Anna asked when he leaned over and kissed her.

Gary nodded in response before kissing her again, deeper this time. Anna pulled away with a smile tugging at her lips. "So, what promises come with the ring?" She inquired teasingly.

Gary smirked slightly. "Whatever you want." He replied as he placed his mouth on her throat, gently scraping the skin with his teeth.

Anna was still smiling but her eyes had turned serious when she gently lifted Gary's chin to look at her. "Okay." She thought about it for a moment before continuing. "One, no more suicide attempts."

"I already promised you I wouldn't do anything like that again, Anna."

"Two, no more cutting yourself."

Gary nodded. "I threw away the knife." He admitted quietly. "Tracey was with me."

"Good." She kissed him softly, pulling away when he tried to deepen the kiss. "I'm proud of you. Moving on – three, lots and lots of sex."

Gary laughed at her last comment and shook his head slightly with a roll of his eyes. "After last night, I don't think I'll be able to keep that promise very well today."

"True. Last night was amazing."

Gary smirked in response, she had a point. It had been slow and sweet, almost languid, in her room but once they left her tiny bed for his it changed to what was more familiar to them. It was familiar yet so different; it was intense, so much more so than ever before. It seemed as though the fire between them had erupted into a burning inferno, burning them with pleasure whenever they touched.

'How can a simple label make things so intense?' Gary mused to himself as Anna slid over his waist to press her lips firmly against his.

Pulling her body against him, Gary reveled in her very presence. He loved the way her hair smelled like strawberries and felt like tangles of silk between his fingers, he loved the way her breasts felt against his bare chest, he loved the way the curves of her hips felt under his hands. Most of all, he loved getting lost in her kisses.

--- --- ---

Tracey sat at the kitchen table with Andrew and Chelsea, picking at his breakfast while May was helping Bella do something with dough at the counter. He hoped Bella was making dinner again tonight; her mother was from Italy and had taught her how to cook and Tracey had fallen in love with her meals. Beyond his thoughts of dinner, he was anxious. He wondered how things had gone between Anna and Gary; he hadn't heard anything and wondered whether that was a good sign or an ominous one. When he had gotten up this morning Anna's room was empty and Gary's door was locked – that was good, wasn't it? He wanted to check on Gary and find out about what had happened but he worried that he would interrupt something if he went up to Gary's room.

He didn't have to wait too long to find out though, as Gary and Anna appeared in the kitchen several minutes later. His eyes fell on Anna's right hand where the ring glittered in the morning sunlight that filled the room. Gary sat across from Tracey, seeming more cheerful than usual – he guessed that everything was fine between him and Anna.

Andrew didn't miss the content smile on his friend's face and smirked at Gary. "So, how was the makeup sex?"

Gary smirked back at Andrew before speaking. "_Blas mir einen_, Andrew."

Andrew laughed. "_Mach es dir selber_, Gary – and don't tempt me."

"Don't start, you two." A voice said from the doorway and Andrew and Gary grinned as Dr. Harris walked into the room with Chris.

"Oh come on, Alex – you know you missed hearing us argue in different languages while Gary's been home." Andrew replied, still grinning.

"Right, about as much as he misses you smashing half of the glassware in the chemistry lab." Chris said sarcastically as he plucked a bagel from the plate in the middle of the table.

"Half?" Gary echoed, smiling as Anna wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. "I doubt that lab had any graduated cylinders, volumetric flasks, or five-hundred milliliter beakers left by the end of the first semester of chem lab."

"That's a pretty ring, Anna, where'd you get it?" Chelsea suddenly asked, eyeing Anna's hand.

Anna smirked. "My boyfriend gave it to me."

May turned from the counter so fast that she nearly knocked over the container of flour that Bella had placed next to the sink. "Boyfriend? I think that's the first time I've ever heard you use that word, Anna." She said with a raised eyebrow.

Anna smiled at her. "Yeah, well, what can I say? I was holding out for someone special."

Bella snorted. "I think that's supposed to be the case with sex, Anna." She said with a melodic laugh.

"What type of life would that be?" Andrew asked with a smirk, Chelsea hit him in the back of the head, causing him to curse loudly and rub his head where she had hit him.

"Don't forget that you promised me you would dress up, Gary." May said as she turned back to helping Bella.

Gary groaned and dropped his head onto the table while Andrew and Tracey laughed.

Anna ruffled his hair before turning to Chelsea. "Speaking of dressing up, I need to get the stuff for my costume from my house. Want to go with me and Gary? You can borrow some stuff for your costume."

Gary raised his head and turned to face Anna. "I thought you had gotten in a fight with Rachael?"

"Yeah, it was over you." Gary slumped in his seat, looking mildly annoyed. "Oh, chill out – she was pissed at me because she thought I was ditching you entirely because you were screwing around with someone else. It'll all blow over she sees us, unless the little fire crotch bitch is there." She added bitterly.

"Kate's being a bitch again?" Bella asked without looking up.

"Yes! She's totally obsessed with Gary!" She exclaimed before turning to Gary. "Can't you just fuck her so she'll stop hating me?"

Gary laughed shortly. "That won't work." He said flatly.

"I'm curious, Gary, why exactly didn't you have sex with her? I mean, you've slept with every one of my friends except Bella." May commented as she leaned against the counter, watching Gary stand up and walk to the refrigerator.

"Long story."

"Funny thing about your long stories Gary: they can all be summed up with a short sentence." Andrew said pointedly as he calmly sipped his orange juice. "So what's wrong with this Kate chick, aside from being a bitch? You're not particularly superficial when it comes to tits or anything else, as long as they're cute."

"No, Andrew, that's your job." Chelsea spoke bitterly and Andrew smiled sheepishly.

Gary sighed and leaned against the counter next to the refrigerator. "Fine, if you insist on knowing, she's too innocent. And that's all I'm saying, it's no one's business. When do you want to go, Anna?"

--- --- ---

Anna unlocked the front door to her house with an apprehensive look on her face and glanced miserably up at Gary before pushing the door open and letting Gary and Chelsea in. She led them to the staircase and climbed swiftly while the sounds of a Vivaldi melody drifted from a bedroom near the head of the stairs. Gary glanced into the bedroom to see Rachael and Kate sitting on the white carpet in a room with pale pink walls and suppressed a groan, he'd always hated how prissy and girly Rachael's bedroom was. The two girls looked up as Anna walked quickly past the room and glared briefly at her. Rachael's expression turned to surprise when she noticed Gary and Kate quickly looked away to avoid his gaze.

Gary was surprised when he stepped into Anna's room as she flipped on her stereo and turned the volume of a Megadeth song loud enough to drown out the classical music from down the hall. As he took in the appearance of the room, it occurred to Gary that this was the first time he had even been to Anna and Rachael's house in the months he had been home. When he had left the room had been a constant disaster zone and everything had been black: the walls, the furniture, the curtains, the doors, the bed linens. The walls were now a vibrant purple with silver moldings along the blue carpet and the doors were turquoise. The curtains were lime green and sheer; the bed linens had stripes of blue, purple, and lime green. The furniture had been repainted to match the vibrant color scheme and, instead of being covered in all sorts of junk ranging from dirty dishes to empty alcohol bottles, showcased framed photos and neatly stacked books.

"Anna," Gary started, still reeling from the shock of the vibrant colors. "What… the hell… happened in here?"

Anna laughed as she walked out of her bathroom holding a large case of makeup. "I guess I should have warned you." She opened her closet and pulled out several shopping bags. "We _did_ have a conversation about changes though, remember?"

"You've really changed so much, Anna." Gary watched her examine the shoe boxes that were neatly stacked on her bookshelf before pulling out the box she was looking for.

Anna's eyes narrowed slightly as she looked at something behind Gary, he turned to see Rachael in the doorway with Kate behind her.

"Can we talk to you for a minute, Gary?" Rachael asked, not taking her eyes off of her sister.

Gary sighed wearily. "Not right now, you can talk to me at the party." He responded, turning back to Anna and Chelsea.

"I didn't think you'd come back here with Anna after what happened." Rachael said with a cold tone to her soft voice.

Gary laughed shortly. "You mean after she told me 'no more casual sex', and after she became my girlfriend? Yeah, you're right: I totally wouldn't do anything with a jealous bitch who cut off sex for less than a week so I could figure out what was going on in my life." He replied lightly, still not looking at the girls.

"Maybe we should go back over to your place, Gary." Anna said as she stalked towards Gary and slid onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him passionately. "We wouldn't want to offend the prudes with our presence any longer, now would we?"

"Where did that ring come from?" Kate asked glaring at the glittering piece of jewelry as though it were something appalling.

Gary turned with a smirk. "I got it for her. You know, to show her what a good lay she is – but don't worry, I'm sure I'll be giving her more rings for reasons less vulgar than that in the future." He turned back to Anna and gently kissed her lips as he pulled her closer to him.

Chelsea laughed softly and smirked at the girls as Kate closed the door and she and Rachael walked back to Rachael's room. "You're such an asshole, Gary."

Gary pulled away from Anna and gestured her over. "Want to really mess with their heads?" He asked softly.

"No, Gary. There's far more fun ways to do that at the party tonight. Save it." Anna stood up and picked up her bags and makeup case, ignoring Gary's playful pout. "Grab my shoes for me, babe?" She called over her shoulder as she walked towards the door.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes:: **

Caught another glimpse of Gary's playful side with Andrew here. In the last scene, yes he is sneaking in the suggestion of a threesome to piss off Rachael and Kate, of course, Anna sees right through his subtlety.

Translation of Gary and Andrew's little insults in German:

_Blas mir einen_ = Blow me.

_Mach es dir selber_ = Go fuck yourself.


	18. Chapter 18: Moving On

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 18: Moving On

"You didn't tell me that you came to a decision about Anna."

Gary glanced up from the kitchen table at his grandfather's sudden words. "I didn't really tell anyone about it." He replied, looking back at Andrew who was focused on the task at hand.

The professor sighed before speaking again. "I hear you didn't tell Alex about what happened before you came home as well, I would've thought that you would have told him before myself. Maybe we could stop with all the secret keeping?"

Gary turned his head to face his grandfather. "It just never occurred to me to tell anyone about Anna, everyone would have figured it out soon enough anyway. And as far as everything that happened in July, I'd really rather not talk about it. It was a mistake, I've come to terms with it, I'm moving on. End of discussion."

It was a moment before Professor Oak spoke again. "As happy as I am that you're moving on, I have to remind you that _talking_ to people close to you is never a bad thing – and why on earth are you painting your nails?"

Gary smiled sheepishly as Andrew laughed while carefully applying the black polish to Gary's nails. "Uh, because it's Halloween?" He replied, trying not to laugh.

Professor Oak sighed again and shook his head with a small smile. "Ah, Gary, Gary, Gary. What am I going to do with you?"

Gary smiled comfortably as his grandfather lightly squeezed his shoulder as he passed him to walk into the hall. He gazed out the window, watching May and Michelle kick around a soccer ball while Bella watched them from the porch with Anna for several minutes before realizing that his chatterbox of a friend had been silent since the professor had left the kitchen. Turning his gaze to Andrew, he was surprised to see the morose look in his eyes as he continued to focus on Gary's nails. He sighed wearily, feeling terrible as he knew what was bothering Andrew. He hated seeing his usually cheerful, mildly annoying, friend so depressed. He knew that Andrew had been through rough times; he had cut himself for years, gotten involved in drugs, made several suicide attempts, and somehow had managed to pull through on top of everything. Gary had immediately bonded with him, knowing that Andrew was one person who could understand what Gary was constantly battling.

Part of him was angry at his grandfather for mentioning his suicide attempt, only reminding him of a time that he tried desperately to forget, only upsetting his friend. His grandfather was annoyed that he hadn't told Alex – it was his own life that he had tried to take, his own actions – didn't he have the right to tell whoever he felt like telling about it? He knew he shouldn't be angry about it, he knew Alex, Dr. Harris, had deserved an explanation – the man _had_ been a father figure for him for most of his life after all. He had been his father's best friend before he died, he had tutored Gary for several years when he was a child, he had bought him his first guitar – the blue Ibanez that was still his favorite, he had hung out at concerts with Gary and his friends – scolding Gary whenever he slipped Chris money to buy him drinks that he was too young to buy himself.

'I'll have to talk to him later, Andrew's more important right now.' Gary thought guiltily.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked softly.

Andrew sighed heavily as he screwed the cap onto the bottle of polish. "Yeah, I'm just – it's just… not a good memory to have to relive."

Gary sighed and laid his head on the table. "You have no idea how sorry I am." He muttered, closing his eyes.

Andrew sighed again. "Yes, I do, Gary." He frowned as Gary raised his head enough to meet his eyes. "You haven't really come to terms with it, have you?"

"I kind of blocked it out until the beginning of September." Gary admitted, watching Andrew shake his head.

"Blocking out the memories might seem like it helps a bit at the beginning, Gary, but it only makes things worse. You have to come to terms with it or else it'll eat you alive – don't laugh, I know you have some sort of smartass comment. Gary, I know you just did something huge, going for it with Anna, but you can't just stop there. You seriously have to start talking to people about things that are going on in your head or else it's going to start fucking with your relationship."

"I _have_ been, Andrew! You know how it is; it's not something that happens overnight."

Andrew raised his eyebrows slightly. "I don't mean talking only when someone flat out asks you if something's bothering you when you're ready to break down. I mean talking when something is on your mind, before it turns into a problem."

Gary nodded silently, gazing at the table.

"Starting now, Gary." Andrew rolled his brown eyes at Gary's silence after a moment. "What are you thinking right now?" He pushed.

Gary closed his eyes, hearing Alex and Chris walk into the kitchen behind him and open the refrigerator. "I wish my parents were still alive." He said softly.

The refrigerator closed and someone pulled out the chair next to him a moment later. Gary opened his eyes to see Alex sitting next to him and Chris standing next the refrigerator. Andrew smiled and stood up. "That wasn't too bad, now was it? Come on, Chris, let's go watch the girls." He opened the door and stepped out onto the porch with Chris behind him, leaving Gary and Alex alone at the table.

Silence fell for a moment that seemed to stretch onto eternity before Alex spoke. "Your grandfather told me about the talk that you two had a few weeks ago." Gary hung his head, wanting nothing more than to go lay down by himself for awhile. "None of us realized what was going on with you, why you were so moody and withdrawn. You started acting like yourself again as soon as the semester ended so we figured it was just stress from all the work. I'd figured you had quit school because you were feeling overwhelmed but I really didn't expect to find out that you tried to kill yourself. It was a pretty big shock when your grandfather mentioned it."

"I really wish everyone would stop talking about it."

"Then we'll talk about something else."

Silence fell once more before Gary sighed in frustration. "Things would be so different if Mom and Dad were alive." He blurted out angrily.

"Things would be different," Alex agreed, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the table before him. "But, Gary, would the things you really value still be the same if they never died?"

"No." Gary replied softly.

"Time can't heal all wounds, but given time, the deeper wounds help make us who we are. You just can't let the pain take over and rule who you are."

Gary nodded slowly and forced a small smile. "I guess you're right."

Alex laughed softly as he stood with a shrug. "Eh, you know I'm right." He looked out the window to see Andrew and Anna chatting on the porch with Tracey and Chelsea while Chris and Bella flirted. "Go outside with your friends, Gary. They'll always be there for you, might as well take advantage of it. Besides, your parents would want you to go have fun, not mope around all day."

Gary sighed as Alex grasped his hands and pulled him to his feet. "Alright, I'm going! Don't have to be all forceful." Gary said, biting back a laugh as Alex pushed him to the door.

--- --- ---

Tracey felt slightly awkward when Gary slipped out the kitchen door onto the porch and kissed Anna on the cheek, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. Gary had seemed particularly lighthearted this morning and it made Tracey feel somewhat content to see the lazy smiles spread across Gary's face and light up his eyes. Still he couldn't help but wish those smiles were directed at _him_, those toned arms wrapped around _his_ shoulders, those soft lips pressing gentle kisses to _his_ cheek and lips. He continued chatting idly with Andrew and Chelsea, trying to ignore Gary and Anna as they kissed and went on in their own little world. He was relieved when Andrew suggested they go upstairs and followed the blonde boy happily, laughing as he punched Gary's arm and told him to get moving.

He had sat on the black couch of the music room with Bella, watching in amusement as Gary and Andrew argued while Anna and Chelsea laughed. Tracey watched Anna pick up a red guitar while Chelsea played the blue bass she had played before, Gary and Andrew both looked up in surprise when the two girls began playing a fun-sounding song together and Chris quickly joined in on the drums. Gary sighed in resignation as a triumphant smirk spread across Andrew's face.

"I knew you'd see things my way!" Andrew exclaimed cheerfully as he pulled a new cable out of the chest of drawers and began to set up another amp.

"I thought I heard some Run to the Hills up here." Tracey looked up to see Dr. Harris in the doorway.

Gary smiled as he watched Anna play his guitar while he crossed the room to the keyboards, flipping the power switch on one and playing a harmony to the guitar. His smile quickly disappeared as he watched Andrew set up a microphone stand with a grin.

"Not happening, Andrew." He called across the room with a scowl.

"There's no keyboard in Iron Maiden, Gary." Anna said loftily, smiling at Andrew while Alex picked up Gary's blue Ibanez guitar and held it up as if asking Gary's permission.

Gary nodded in response as he played a melody on one of the keyboards while holding chords on one of the others. Tracey didn't understand why he didn't just use one keyboard for it.

"Let's see how much I can remember." Alex said with a grin as he plugged in the guitar and looked at Chelsea and Anna, playing the beginning of a song that Tracey recognized. "What do you say, ladies?"

"Give us a countdown, Chris." Chelsea replied, adjusting the strap of the bass. "Enough with the Sonata Arctica, Gary!"

Andrew sat next to Tracey and watched Gary lean back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. "Don't be a pussy, Gary." He called to him as Chris began with the drum countdown.

They played for nearly a minute before Alex gave Gary a pointed look and jerked his head in the direction of the microphone. Gary shook his head stubbornly and remained against the wall. Anna sighed and stopped playing, causing the other three people to stop playing as well. "Let's try this again, Gary." She said nodding at Chris to start again.

They stopped at the same place again. "We can do this all day, Gary." Alex said with a smirk as Gary sighed and stepped away from the keyboards, giving Andrew an absolute death look.

Andrew merely laughed. "He hates it when we make him do this." He said to Tracey.

Tracey recognized the Iron Maiden song when Gary began singing the lyrics, looking as though it were the last thing he wanted to do, continuing to glare at Andrew. He finally smiled when Anna stepped beside him and nudged him in the ribs with her elbow as she leaned against him while she played. Anna remained next to Gary throughout the song, swaying her hips to the music, spinning her hair to the guitar solo.

The song ended and Gary turned back to Andrew with another glare. "I hate you, Andrew." Tracey laughed at the undeniable lightness in Gary's voice and knew that the boy was having fun, even if he didn't want to admit it.

"It's amazing how hard we have to twist your arm to make you do something you enjoy so much, Gary." Chelsea said in a teasing tone as she nodded to Chris.

Gary rolled his eyes as they began playing the song they had been playing before Dr. Harris entered the room. May and Michelle has stepped into the room at the end of the first song and Michelle was giggling softly as May made faces at Gary, trying to make him mess up. Tracey noticed that Gary seemed considerably more relaxed now and laughed when he announced that he was done when the song ended.

"No more!" He exclaimed, walking back over to the keyboards.

Alex handed the guitar to Andrew and smiled warmly at Gary who glared at him with a slight smile playing at his mouth while he changed the settings on one of the keyboards. "I'll leave you kids to it, don't get into any trouble while Sam and I do grownup things in the lab – Andrew, get your head out the gutter!" He scolded lightly as Andrew snorted with laughter.

"You should know by now that it's impossible for him –"

"Shut up and play, Gary." Andrew interrupted before Gary could finish.

--- --- ---

Dinner had been several hours earlier than usual and all of the girls had disappeared into May's room to get dressed soon afterwards, leaving Tracey alone to hang out with Gary and his friends in his room. The room was oddly quiet without anyone speaking. Music was playing but Tracey doubted anyone was listening to it as Andrew lay on his back on the rug playing a guitar with his eyes closed, Chris was on the computer, and Gary was sitting at the piano playing random melodies. The relative silence was comfortable and Tracey sprawled across Gary's large bed, flipping through a magazine and enjoying the friendly air of the room. The room became brighter as the sky turned brilliant shades of orange and red as the sun began to sink in the sky. Glancing at the clock, Gary suggested that they get dressed before people started coming.

Andrew and Chris went to their own rooms, leaving Tracey alone with Gary.

"Not getting dressed up?" Gary asked as he searched through his closet for something.

Tracey mumbled something about not knowing what to dress as while Gary leaned against the closet door. "We'll figure something out, let me get dressed first though."

Tracey nodded silently as Gary walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Tracey maintained his position on Gary's bed as Andrew bounded into the room wearing camouflaged cargo pants and a black Children of Bodom shirt with the sleeves cut off. Chains connected his belt to his back pocket and he wore several thin silver bracelets on one wrist and a black sweat band on the other. Tracey noticed he'd removed his lip ring for the night.

"Where'd Gary go?" He asked as he walked to the mirror over Gary's dresser and began putting on black eyeliner.

"He's in the bathroom getting dressed." Tracey replied, sitting up to watch Andrew.

Andrew nodded silently as he put the eyeliner in his pocket and pulled out a black marker and began drawing a snake on one of his hands. "That means he's doing the same thing as last year. Guess that makes two of us."

"What was he last year?" Tracey asked as Andrew glanced up from the tattoo he was carefully drawing.

"Fucking hot." He replied with a smirk.

The bathroom door opened and Gary appeared wearing only a pair of snug fitting black pants that appeared to be leather. Tracey felt his eyes widen as he admired the way the pants hugged Gary's thighs before flaring enough to cover his boots.

"Before you ask, yes, they are girl pants and, yes, they are leather." Gary said, rolling his eyes and tossing Andrew a small black bag before striding across the room to sit in the chair at his desk.

Andrew sighed as he added the finishing touches to his snake and placed the marker in his pocket. Tracey watched as Gary tied his hair back and Andrew spread white makeup over Gary's face. "Are we doing the same thing as last year?" Andrew asked removing a case of black eye shadow from the bag.

"Yeah."

"Lips too?"

"Might as well."

"I can't wait to see the look on Anna and May's faces when they see you." Andrew said as he brushed the black makeup around Gary's eyes.

Gary merely smirked as Chris walked into the room wearing tight dark jeans with a black button down shirt open over a red tank top and a set of rosary beads. He was saying something about his hair not being wavy enough when Gary rolled his eyes from across the room.

"At least your hair's the right color." He said as Andrew drew jagged slash marks across his cheek bones.

"He dyes his hair anyway, Gary. Maybe we should switch costumes since you're the one that actually plays keyboard?" Chris asked with a slight scowl.

"I'm more than halfway done with the corpse paint, if you guys switch, I'm going to kill one of you fuckers." Andrew muttered as he concentrated on the black makeup.

"Aww! The three hottest guys in metal, all at my disposal! But why aren't you dressed up, Tracey?" A voice exclaimed from the door.

Tracey looked up to see Chelsea saunter in, much taller than usual in clear platform heels that looked nearly impossible to walk in. Black fishnets encased her legs up to her thighs, held up by garters that connected to a deep red lace garter belt over red panties. A red and black corset framed her lean torso and her heavily applied makeup and carefully done hair accentuated her facial features.

"Damn, Chelsea! How much are you charging?" Andrew asked with a smirk as he took in her features.

"More than you can afford." She replied without looking at him. "We need to get poor Tracey all done up!" She strode into Gary's closet and began to look around. "Wait till you see Anna, Gary – and make sure you two don't slip off together too soon! She's been working on her costume for the past two hours." She said happily as she emerged from the closet with the tattered jeans that Tracey often saw Gary wearing and a black shirt.

--- --- ---

Tracey warily eyed his reflection in the mirror, taking in the tattered jeans that hugged his waist, the studded belt and leather wrist bands, the Iron Maiden shirt, the black eyeliner. Chelsea had told him he looked "metal enough" to hang out with herself and her friends from Sinnoh at a concert; he didn't know how to respond so he gave her a nervous grin. Gary appeared next to him, looking incredibly sexy in the tight black leather pants with no shirt on but eerily intimidating with the black and white makeup on his face, he slipped a chain around Tracey's neck and fastened it easily. Tracey's gaze dropped down to the circular silver pendant as he fingered the thin chain nervously.

Gary smiled at him and rested his bare arms across Tracey's shoulders. "Can't be metal without a pentagram." He explained. "Pity your hair isn't longer, then you'd fit right in with my friends in Sinnoh."

"Chelsea said I look 'metal enough' to hang out with you guys at a concert."

Gary laughed softly. "That would be a compliment. Actually, this is what I would normally wear to a concert." He said, tugging the shirt slightly before pressing his body against Tracey to murmur in his ear. "By the way, I think you and Andrew would have a _great_ time if you two hung out together by yourselves sometime tonight."

Tracey shuddered slightly as Gary's warm breath tickled his ear. He knew Gary noticed the shudder when he chuckled softly, pulling away as loud music floated up from the lower floor.

"Come on, everyone's already downstairs waiting for us." Gary smirked as he walked across the bedroom to the door, hesitating slightly as Tracey slowly turned away from the mirror. "After you." He said with a small smile.

--- --- ---

Chris and Andrew were waiting at the top of the stairs for Gary and Tracey to emerge from Gary's room.

"Chelsea said we had to wait for you guys so we can all go downstairs together." Andrew explained when Gary looked at them questioningly as he approached the stairs.

"She also said for you to go to Anna's room for a minute before coming down." Chris added.

Intrigued by this, Gary turned and stalked back down the hall to Anna's room and pushed the door open. Anna was leaning against the wall directly across from the door, obviously waiting on him. She raised her eyebrows slightly at his appearance as his eyes widened while he took in her outfit. The heels of her thigh-high boots were only slightly lower than Chelsea's and Gary wondered if she might be taller than him in them. A tightly laced black vinyl corset emphasized her hips while her breasts threatened to spill out of the tight top. A tiny vinyl skirt matched the boots and was short enough to flash her lace panties if she sat down. A spiked collar accentuated her throat while blood red lipstick made her lips appear full and moist, her dark eye makeup made her eyes appear lustful, though Gary suspected that was partially due to something other than the careful makeup job.

"I guess I chose a good costume to complement yours." Gary said, regaining his arrogant smirk.

Anna returned the smirk with her own as she stalked across the room to him. "If it wasn't for the fact that I just spent two hours getting ready, I would throw you on the bed and wipe that smirk clean off your face." She said huskily and grasped his hand, leading him into the hall.

Gary let Anna slide her hand into his grasp as they walked down the stairs with Andrew, Chris, and Tracey following behind them. May and Michelle looked up as the group entered the living room, May shook her head and laughed while Michelle grinned and blew a kiss at him. Gary smiled despite himself as he eyed his sister's Xena costume and laughed as Michelle, in her slinky nurse costume, linked arms with Tracey and led him across the room to Bella, who looked exotic in her extravagant gypsy outfit. Glancing around the room as Anna rested her hands on his shoulder to show her possession of him, Gary could see that most of May's and Michelle's friends were already there along with several of Rachael's friends and Kate.

Gary had always enjoyed Halloween parties – flirting with scantily clad girls, smirking slightly as prissy girls gossiped cruelly over the girls that were prettier than themselves. He soon realized that he no longer found the gossiping girls amusing as the cruel words had turned against Anna and, consequently, himself. He felt himself becoming more and more agitated as Kate and Rachael's friends muttered amongst themselves and he caught brief glimpses of conversation.

"What a whore!" "Gary's with _her_?" "Can you believe what she's wearing?" "Ugh, why would Gary waste his time on her?" "With how many guys she's been through, I sure as hell hope Gary remembers a condom." "What the hell is Gary thinking, dressing like that?" "I know it's Halloween, but my god…"

He felt his mood improve as a slower Epica song came on the stereo and Anna walked through the crowd towards him. She slipped her arms around his neck and gazed into his troubled eyes as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"A lot of girls are talking about you." Gary said softly as Anna swayed slightly, dancing to the music.

"They're just jealous." She replied with a shrug. "Does it bother you?"

"Yes." Gary admitted, continuing when Anna raised an eyebrow slightly. "It wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't for the fact that it's your sister's friends that are doing the talking."

"Yeah, well, Rach and Kate tend to be pretty bitchy to me. Neither of them approve of us, not that I care though." Her slightly bitter tone told Gary otherwise.

Gary sighed and pulled her against him in a tight embrace. He knew Kate was angry with him for something that had happened years ago, but why did she have to stab him in the back by treating his best friend like shit and then acting all sweet and innocent with him? He understood that Rachael longed for her sister to be more normal, more conservative, but why couldn't she realize that the crazy woman in his arms was the thing that had kept him seeking the light at the end of the tunnel during his darkest moments?

Anna pulled away as the song ended and placed a hand against his cheek. "Don't let them bother you, they're not worth it." She said gently before walking away.

Gary walked into the kitchen, ignoring Bella and Michelle chatting with May and Chelsea as he opened a bottle of vodka and poured a shot, tossing it back and pouring another one quickly. A hand reached around him and pulled the small glass out of his hand before he could take the second shot. Chelsea stared up at him for a moment before tossing back the shot herself.

"What's bothering you?" She asked, setting the glass back on the counter and closing the bottle of alcohol.

Gary contemplated ignoring the question but his response spilled from his lips before he could stop himself. "Why is it the bitchiest most vile little whores always have to tear down the women who are so much better than their sorry little asses?"

The three other girls in the kitchen looked up in surprise as the bitter words tore from Gary. Chelsea smiled grimly.

"To prove that they're worth nothing more than a quick and unsatisfying fuck." She said flatly.

Gary wearily rubbed his face, groaning as his hand came away smudged with black makeup. "I'm going to go change." He said irritably as he stalked out of the kitchen and towards the stairs.

He was tempted to take a cool shower as he wriggled out of the snug pants and slipped into a pair of baggy jeans and vigorously washed his face until all traces of the makeup were gone. He carefully cleaned his piercings before replacing them as he had removed them before Andrew had done his makeup. He put on some eyeliner and pulled on a Dimmu Borgir shirt to make up for ditching his costume. Not bothering to put his shoes back on – his jeans were baggy enough, who would notice? – he headed back downstairs.

He had been back downstairs for nearly an hour and had finally relaxed when a guitar intro that he recognized easily began to play from the speaker. Suddenly he felt like he couldn't get enough air as he sat at the piano with Tracey only a few feet away from him.

'What the hell is wrong with me?' He thought as he ducked into the kitchen where Andrew was playfully flirting with his sister as she mixed a drink.

He pulled himself up onto the counter and folded one leg under him, allowing the other leg to dangle as he leaned back against the refrigerator with his eyes closed.

"You alright, Gary?" May asked, eying him worriedly.

"I'm fine, just have a headache." Gary lied, not wanting to admit that he could barely breathe.

Andrew recognized the song and walked into the hall. "Yo, Anna! Mind changing it to something a bit more cheerful?" Gary could hear his voice drift from the living room.

The song abruptly stopped and a Journey song replaced it. Gary immediately felt more at ease. Several moments passed as Andrew and May flirted before Gary decided to seek out Anna.

As he walked down the hall to the living room he heard angry voices and instantly felt his stomach knot in dread. Quickening his pace, he burst into the living room to see Anna, Rachael, and Kate in the middle of the room yelling at each other as Tracey tried in vain to calm them down.

" – Nothing but a cheap whore!" Kate was yelling. "You'd fuck anything that moves, what the hell makes you think –"

"You don't know a fucking thing, Kate!"

"Don't yell at her, you psychotic bitch!"

"You stay out of it, Rachael! You think you're worth so much, Kate? Then why the hell won't Gary fuck you? Huh? You think you're so special – then why am I the one with a ring?"

"Please, you go around sleeping with every guy in Pallet and you dare to tell me that Gary means anything more than a good lay to you?"

"He means more to me than he'll ever mean to you, Kate! You fucking hypocrite! You go around whining to everyone 'oh Gary, Gary, Gary! Please take me, Gary, I've been holding out just for you!' You think anyone buys that shit? Everyone knows you've just been stabbing him in the back the whole time, you've never had any sort of connection with him like I have!"

Rachael seemed to snarl at her sister as Anna laid into Kate. "Connection, Anna? What type of person would have a connection with a freak like you? Who would care about someone that cuts themselves for fun, someone that needs to constantly be on meds to keep them from killing themselves?"

Gary couldn't stand by anymore as Tracey's expression turned helpless and Chelsea stepped forward to defend Anna, he heard May and Andrew rush up behind him as he stormed across the room to the girls. Tracey and Chelsea stepped back as Gary forcefully turned Rachael to face him, thrusting his arms at her to show the scars.

"You tell me, Rachael, who would care?" He hissed. "Surely not a greedy little bitch like either of you two! You want to insult someone for cutting themselves or trying to kill themselves, then insult me, not her!"

Rachael simply stared at his arms in shock, having never been shown the scars so blatantly. May placed a hand on Gary's shoulder to calm him and glared at Rachael as Bella and Michelle stepped up behind her.

"I don't know what gives either of you the right to pull this type of act but I sure as hell won't stand for it. You've betrayed everyone close to you, including yourself, Kate – and you – Rachael, you dare say things like that to your sister. Both of you act as if you care about my brother so much, then why is it that you didn't even know about this?" She grasped one of Gary's wrists to point out the scars marring the pale flesh. "If you really cared about him, you would be happy to see them together but no, instead you pull this holier-than-thou garbage. Well now you've insulted my friend and by doing so you've hurt and betrayed Gary – who you seemingly care so much about – "

"May, stop!" Gary surprised himself as he yanked his wrist from May's grip and stared at her in confusion for a moment before turning to Kate and Rachael. "Leave." He snarled. "Take your bitchy little friends with you, I don't even want to be anywhere near either of you right now."

"Gary,"

"Kate, I told you a month ago that we were over, what makes you think I'm going to change my mind now? Get out."

Kate and Rachael had the decency to look embarrassed before they left but Gary didn't care as he stared at the floor before him, feeling his fingernails dig into his palms as his fists trembled at his sides. He couldn't remember ever feeling so angry. Two people who had once been close to him, who he trusted and loved as sisters, had just proved themselves unworthy of his friendship. Beyond that, they had insulted Anna. Rachael's words stung deeply; did she really care that little about him that she could speak like that?

The song on the stereo changed again and a heavy keyboard and drum intro filled the tense room. Gary could feel dread well up in him once more.

'Not now, please not now, of all songs.' He thought uselessly as his breath caught in his throat as the vocals began.

He stood frozen for a minute as the song played on, trying to calm his pounding heart.

'_Gathering the pieces of a stronger me – helpless, weak, and battered – my wounds are bleeding!'_ The words hit home and sent Gary rushing for the door, pushing past a confused Alex in the hallway and bursting through the back door in the kitchen to the cold night air.

Gary could hear Alex and Andrew pursue him as he broke into a run, desperate for an escape. Without thinking, he dove into the pool, gasping as his body broke through the cold water and choking on the water that he swallowed. Disoriented and panicked, he thrashed under the water, trying to reach the surface. Finally, he broke the surface, gasping for breath and coughing up water.

He could hear Andrew and Alex running across the concrete patio to the pool as he blindly made his way to the side and pulled himself out of the water onto the ground. Shivering from a mixture of cold and emotion, Gary sensed it as Alex dropped to his knees at his side, asking if he was alright. Andrew kneeled in front of him as Gary dropped his face into his hands and began sobbing quietly.

Gary heard May and Anna somewhere nearby, talking with Andrew, but couldn't make out the words. Alex had left his side as soon as May and Anna appeared, returning with a large towel that he wrapped around Gary's shaking shoulders. It seemed like an eternity to him before he was able to calm down, jumbled emotions slowly clearing as his breathing returned to normal. Finally he dropped his hands and turned back to the pool to scoop up a handful of cold water that he splashed on his face.

Anna grasped his hand gently as May quietly asked if he was alright. Gary nodded silently, pulling the towel tighter around him as he shivered. Alex muttered something about needing to go inside and he and Andrew helped Gary to his feet. Andrew met his eyes with a sympathetic look before turning to walk back to the house. May had stayed in the kitchen when they entered the house while Gary quickly sought the privacy of his bedroom before stripping off his wet clothes and drying with a clean towel from his bathroom. Anna walked into the bathroom and handed him clean jeans and his Iron Maiden sweatshirt.

He dressed quickly and pulled Anna against him, still shivering from the cold water combined with the chilled night air. "I'm sorry I ran off after everything Kate and Rachael said to you." He whispered against her hair.

Anna pulled back enough to meet his remorseful eyes. "Gary, I deal with them all the time, I can handle it. It hurts, yeah, but I'm used to it. It doesn't bother me anymore, I've moved on from the cutting and everything. You haven't had the time to do that yet, you panicked, that's all. It happens."

Andrew spoke up from the bathroom doorway. "It didn't really sink in until that Evergrey song came on, did it?"

Gary shook his head. "Everything Rachael and May said combined with that, I just – "

"Panicked." Andrew finished for him, walking away from the doorway to stand next to his friend. "Been there, done that, Gary. Remember our conversation from this morning? It gets easier. Be glad it's only one suicide attempts worth of panic as opposed to three."

Gary smiled slightly as he met Andrew's eyes and was grateful for their deep connection – Anna may understand him better than anyone, but there was that small part of him that she couldn't understand entirely, but Andrew could. For that, his appreciation of his friend deepened as Andrew hugged him.

"You'll feel so much better tomorrow. I'm telling you, no matter how good you feel a few weeks or a few months later, you don't start to move on from that until you finally break down. The break down comes when you accept what's happened. You'll be fine with Anna here taking care of you." Andrew grinned and left the bathroom.

Gary sighed as he pulled Anna close to him again. He was already feeling better now that his mind was clearing. He let all thoughts of what had happened slip away as he and Anna stood in the middle of the room, silently holding each other. It was several minutes before he pulled away enough to kiss her for the first time that night.

The kiss was soft and sweet at first but swiftly turned into something heated and nearly frenzied before Anna pulled away, slightly breathless. "We should probably go downstairs for at least a little while." She whispered.

Gary groaned in response, pressing his body against hers. "Can't we stay up here a little longer?"

Anna smiled and kissed him again, pulling away when they heard a voice from the doorway to the small room.

"I take it you're feeling better?" Alex asked.

Gary sighed softly, reaching for Anna's hands as he leaned forward to kiss her again, ignoring the question. Anna turned her head to look at Alex, causing Gary's lips to brush against her cheek softly.

"You guys can stay up here as long as you want but it would be a good idea to around people, Gary." Alex said, unfazed by the fact that Gary was ignoring him

Anna smiled, glancing back at Gary as if to say 'I told you so'. Gary leaned against her, pressing his lip against her temple before murmuring in her ear. "Just a few more minutes." His voice was low and husky, sending shivers through her spine.

As much as Anna wanted to stay in Gary's room for the rest of the night, she agreed with Alex, thinking that socialization would be the best thing for Gary, particularly since Andrew, Chelsea, and Chris were still there. She smiled sympathetically at Gary and tugged his hand lightly.

"Come on, we can hang out up here any day." She said cheerfully, ignoring the grimace he gave her as she followed Alex out of the room, dragging Gary behind her.

He trailed down the hall and the stairs after her, mildly annoyed that she would rather hang around the party than spend the rest of the night in his room with him. She sensed this, of course, and all but dragged Gary into the living room to hang out by the stereo with Michelle and some of her friends and Chelsea. Gary was relieved to see how well Chelsea was getting along with the girls at the party, she greeted him cheerfully but he could see worry in her eyes, Andrew had probably told her what had happened.

They spent the next hour hanging out in the living room, Anna happily showing off the ring Gary had given her and giggling with the girls while Gary spent a long time talking with Andrew and Tracey while glancing at Anna every few minutes. He had quickly grown bored of the party, wanting only to sneak off with Anna, so he left Andrew and Tracey to themselves while he sat at the piano, playing along to the songs that played on the stereo until he saw Anna leave the room. He quickly followed her, disappointed when she walked towards the kitchen.

Bella and May were in the kitchen with a small group of friends when Anna walked across the room to the counter and examined the bottles of alcohol. Gary followed her to the counter sliding his arms down her sides as she picked out two glasses. He trailed a hand along her thigh while she mixed a drink, slipping under the tiny skirt, pushing aside lacy panties to tease her with his fingers. Gary smirked when he felt how moist her skin was already and pressed his body against hers, pinning her to the counter.

"What are you doing?" Anna whispered as he slid a finger into her and bit her neck lightly.

"What do you think?" He breathed against her throat in response as he slid his other hand up the front of the corset.

Anna took a large sip from her drink before leaning back against Gary, gasping slightly, and offered him the drink. Gary took the glass and drained it before setting it back on the counter and allowing his hand to caress the flesh along the top of the corset. Anna reached down and pulled his teasing hand away slightly and turned in his arms to face him, allowing his hand to slide back under the skirt as she slipped her hands into his hair and kissed him. The kiss deepened and grew in intensity as the movement of Gary's fingers increased in tempo; he could feel Anna's breathing grow faster and slightly ragged as her muscles seized around his fingers.

"What are you two doing?" May's voice called from behind them after a few minutes of intense kissing.

Startled, Gary pulled away from Anna, removing his hands from her hot flesh. "Nothing." He replied quickly, Anna's gaze burned into his as he grasped her hand and led her to the door leading down to the den.

Anna locked the door at the top of the stairs behind them as Gary hurried down the stairs ahead of her. He waited at the foot of the stairs for her, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her roughly as soon as she finished carefully descending the stairs in her boots. She pulled away from him enough to tug the sweatshirt over his head before walking across the room to lean on the pool table while Gary's fingers unclasped the top few closures on the corset to lift her breasts out of the constricting garment. Anna gasped and groaned as he nipped and sucked at her pale skin while she allowed her hands to toy with the waist band of his jeans while his hand slipped under her skirt once more.

She moaned loudly and jerked the jeans down over Gary's hips as his mouth trailed kissed up her chest to her throat. Bracing herself against the table behind her, Anna spread her legs enough for Gary to slide into her, moist fingers trailing along her thighs before grasping her hips tightly.

It was fast and rough as Anna shuddered against Gary, pinned between him and the pool table, resting one hand on his chest while gripping his hair loosely with the other hand. After climaxing, Anna pushed him away slightly as she kneeled before him, finishing with her mouth. She had barely swallowed before his mouth was on hers, tongue sliding over hers languidly.

"We should go back upstairs." Gary breathed against her lips as he pulled away.

Anna stood, clasping the closures on her corset and adjusting the vinyl sheath. "I'm curious, which 'upstairs' are you talking about?"

Gary smiled. "I meant back up to the party, but if you're offering…" His smile turned to a smirk as she threw his sweatshirt at him.

"Hurry up and get dressed, I want to change into something more comfortable."

"You just want to put on a dry thong." Gary replied loftily as he dressed, smirking at her once more as she turned to walk to the stairs.

"Oh, shut up."

Gary followed her up the stairs and back into the kitchen, coming face to face with Alex while Anna walked over to May and her friends.

"And where were you two?" Alex asked with a knowing look in his eye, handing Gary a small shot glass of clear liquid.

"We were playing pool." Anna called from across the kitchen.

Gary smirked. "What she said."

Alex shook his head with a slight smile. "Like I believe that."

Gary walked past him to lean against the counter near the girls, hearing May snort and call Anna a liar as she handed her a glass.

Gary raised his glass to his lips as Anna spoke. "Well, it involved a pool table and balls – "

Gary snorted as the alcohol slid over his tongue, his laughter turning into a curse as he turned to the sink to spit the rest of the mouthful out. May and Anna laughed while Bella shook her head, taking a sip of her wine before speaking. "You're supposed to swallow before laughing, Gary."

Anna choked out an apology between her laughter, causing Gary to glare at her.

"Be glad it was only eighty proof." Alex said from the doorway.

"Vodka is vodka, it burns either way!" Gary exclaimed, sniffling and rubbing his nose. "I hate you, Anna."

Anna giggled as Tracey and Andrew walked into the room, Andrew's long hair curiously messy. "I'll make it up to you."

"You did something stupid, didn't you?" Andrew spoke up, leaning on the counter near Gary.

Gary rolled his eyes as he pulled himself onto the counter. "Nice hair." He commented languidly.

Andrew matched Gary's smirk with his own. "You should see yours, no need to ask what you and Anna were doing."

Gary's smirk faltered as he ran his hands through his hair, fingers getting snared in tangles. Andrew laughed softly, groaning as a Pat Benatar song came on the stereo in the other room. "Come on, let's go listen to real music." He complained.

"I like that song." Tracey complained as he followed Andrew and Gary out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

--- --- ---

Tracey felt slightly dazed as he sat back on the black couch and took in everything going on around him in the dark room. The party downstairs had become distant when he came up to the music room with Gary and Andrew, even more so when Chelsea and Anna showed up with a bottle of vodka and 151. The night had turned into great fun as he tossed back shots of vodka with Gary and Andrew, quickly realizing that he was unable to keep up with them when he nearly fell over. Michelle soon joined them and was quickly as intoxicated as Tracey and was reduced to giggles as a game of truth or dare ensued between the teens.

At some point in time, Tracey was dragged into their game of truth or dare, resulting in a long kiss between him and Gary, followed by another one between him and Andrew. Michelle had gaped at him for a minute before breaking into laughter. "I knew it!" She giggled, pointing dramatically at Tracey, who laughed.

The game went on for hours before Michelle finally left the room to get some sleep while Tracey and Andrew ended up making out on the couch for the second time that night, leaving Anna, Gary, and Chelsea sitting on the floor, occasionally taking sips from the bottle of 151 and laughing with each other.

Eventually even Andrew and Chelsea had left for bed, leaving Tracey alone with Gary and Anna, sitting on the couch, still feeling the alcohol flowing through him. Gary and Anna were oblivious to his presence as they kissed sweetly while Tracey watched. He still wished that Gary was kissing him but the jealousy he felt was only slight, most of it having been replaced with a feeling of strange delight as he watched the two break apart slightly, their noses brushing as Gary's hands caressed Anna's cheek.

Despite wishing that he was the one with Gary, he hoped that all went well for the two teens that were currently so absorbed in each other that they didn't even hear him as he bade them good night.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

As I said at the end of chapter 16, Andrew has a certain wisdom to him that is also his deepest connection with Gary. Anna can connect with Gary on nearly every level but since she never made an attempt on her life, she can't quite connect with Gary there but Andrew can and because of that, he can offer advice and comfort to Gary that no one else can. Similarly, Andrew's presence combined with that of Alex (Dr. Harris) and Anna brings out a more playful and open side to Gary that Tracey has never seen before.

A few music notes on the chapter – when everyone is upstairs in the music room (when they're playing, not when they're drunk), the first song that they play is Iron Maiden's The Evil That Men Do and then they play Run To The Hills, also by Iron Maiden. The slower Epica song that Gary and Anna dance to is Cry For The Moon. When Gary has his slight panic attack and goes into the kitchen by May and Andrew, the song that bothers him is Ozzy Osbourne's Suicide Solution (speaking from personal experience, it's a bit of a difficult song to hear if you haven't fully recovered from a recent suicide attempt). The song that truly sends him over the edge (and into the pool) is Evergrey's As I Lie Here Bleeding, a (very good) song about suicide.

A note on the Halloween getups the boys have – Andrew is (very obviously to any metal head) Alexi Laiho from Children of Bodom and Sinergy. Gary is Shagrath from Dimmu Borgir (chosen to show how much more open Gary is being around his friends) from the Death Cult Armageddon days, wearing corpse paint like what Shagrath is wearing in videos from Ozzfest (2004 I believe). Chris is Tuomas Holopainen from Nightwish. Tracey is supposed to be a metal head, that's all.


	19. Chapter 19: Friendship

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 19: Friendship

Tracey groaned as the late morning sunlight shone through his bedroom window, rousing him from a rather restless sleep. He rubbed his temples wearily, attempting to soothe his throbbing head, silently cursing himself for being so reckless when it came to drinking the night before. He wrapped the comforter around himself tighter, chilled from the early morning air and wearing nothing but boxers. Tracey could hear footsteps and voices in the hall but pulled the comforter over his head and tried to go back to sleep. There was a soft knock at the door but Tracey ignored it until the door opened and Gary entered the room.

"Rise and shine, Trace, it's almost noon."

Tracey groaned in response as Gary laughed and sat on the edge of the bed. "You're such a lightweight!" Gary teased. "Honestly, I've only ever passed out like this twice and you have no idea how much I had to drink to get to that point. You only had like four shots."

Tracey rolled over to face him, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand. "_Only_ four?" He echoed in disbelief.

Gary smiled at him before continuing. "You must not drink much."

"If I'm not helping your grandfather, I'm usually hanging out with Michelle and May. When do you think I have a chance to drink?"

"The girls have parties all the time, Trace!"

"Yeah, parties with mixed drinks, not with shots! And how is it that you are not hungover?" Tracey demanded, noticing that, though Gary was slightly paler than usual and looked tired, he didn't appear to have the throbbing migraine that was tormenting Tracey.

"Who said I wasn't? I've been up since eight so I've had enough time for it to go away… well, that and a ton of aspirin, but that's beside the point."

Tracey groaned again and sat up slowly. "God, my head hurts." He muttered, causing Gary to laugh softly and shake his head.

"Grandpa wants to go out for lunch, that's actually why I came up here. Hurry up and take a shower so we can go, I'm starving."

"Oh, blow me." Tracey grumbled as he stood up, smiling slightly to show Gary he was joking.

"Too much work, too little sustenance." Gary replied, walking to the door.

"Pervert!" Tracey called as he took clean clothes from his dresser and walked to his bathroom.

Gary shrugged. "It's true."

--- --- ---

Tracey happily sat back in his seat at the Italian restaurant they had gone to for lunch, his headache forgotten as he eyed the other occupants of the round table with interest. Andrew was to his right, looking amused as he picked at his plate of lasagna; Anna sat next to him, looking pretty in an off-shoulder Blind Guardian shirt and mini-skirt as she laughed at Gary and Chelsea. Chelsea sat on Tracey's other side, wearing a tight Sonata Arctica shirt and torn jeans while ignoring her minestrone soup as she argued with Gary, who was sitting between her and Anna, while telling stories from school.

"How to describe it..." She was musing aloud as she suddenly grinned and met Anna's eyes from across the table. "You know that scene in The Exorcist –"

"It was _not_ like the scene in The Exorcist! No, it wasn't, Chelsea – shut up, Andrew!" Gary exclaimed, throwing a breadstick across the table at Andrew as he agreed with Chelsea.

"How was it not, Gary? If I recall – "

"Well, for starters it wasn't green or projectile –"

"Well, no shit, it wasn't green! You had eaten pizza for lunch! And as far as projectile goes – you puked all over everything!"

"Didn't Alex tell you to be more worried about puking than passing out, Gary?"

"Shut up, Andrew, you're the one that told me to eat so much in the first place!"

"Hey, shut up, you two, I'm not done with my rant yet!" Chelsea hit the tabletop with her hand to get Andrew and Gary's attention, accidentally knocking over her glass of water.

The small table erupted in laughter as Gary and Tracey helped Chelsea clean the mess while Chelsea continued. "I was looking forward to doing my first major dissection, and you completely _ruined_ it! It was traumatizing!" She declared, looking at Tracey for support.

"Traumatizing for you? Think about how it was for me!"

"Oh, neither of you know trauma – how about the time I had to do the dissection and I slit the artery of that rattata?" Andrew spoke up loudly. "I got blood all over me!"

"Hey, I had to be your lab partner for that dissection – all because _you_ decided to skip class!" Gary said, pointing to Chelsea, knocking over her now-empty water glass, causing them both to laugh.

Anna sighed and reached across Gary to move the glass. Tracey wondered briefly if they might be kicked out of the restaurant for being so loud.

"I think Tracey and Anna need an explanation of this particular story." Chelsea replied flatly after she calmed down, dipping a breadstick into her soup as Andrew and Gary both groaned.

Gary spoke after glaring at Andrew. "Ok, so Chels was my lab partner for the comp vertebrate anatomy lab and she decided that she couldn't go to class because she had too bad of a hangover – "

"As if _we_ weren't hung-over!" Andrew interrupted.

Gary glared at Andrew again. "_Anyway_, I got stuck working with Andrew, who is the _biggest_ fucking spazz in a lab and shouldn't be allowed near sharp or fragile objects when he _isn't_ hung-over."

"Oh, shut up, you fucking cunt! You couldn't even be within two feet of Chels when she – oh, never mind. We had to dissect a rattata for this lab and rattatas somehow maintain blood pressure in their bodies for a certain amount of time after death, for some fucking stupid reason, mostly because our 'mighty creator' is a royal douche bag – "

"Hey, Andrew! Think you could be a bit louder? I can't hear you all the way over here, across the room!" Chris suddenly interrupted from a few tables away, where he was eating with the two professors and May, Bella, and Michelle.

"Yeah, Andrew – public place, you know." Chelsea said with a smirk.

Anna and Andrew laughed while Gary eyed them with an amused smile. Turning back to Tracey, Gary continued telling the story. "Andrew says he 'slit' the artery but he probably severed the damn thing – either way, blood started spurting all over the place. Andrew, _being the pussy that he is_," Gary said, glaring at the boy while he continued laughing with Anna. "passed out and hit the dissection tray when he did that and sent the whole thing flying so, of course, _as luck would have it_, he had already finished taking out the organs and putting them back in and when the rattata went flying, guess where the organs went."

"All over the place." Andrew said grimly, sobering and paling slightly. "Along with more blood and half of my dissection kit."

"And, of course, Gary puked." Chelsea added.

"I'd say _that_ was a hell of a lot more traumatic than puking all over a vulpix kit." Andrew scowled at Gary while Anna and Tracey laughed and Chelsea shook her head.

Tracey glanced down at the red sauce covering his ravioli as he laughed before sobering. "Suddenly I don't have much of an appetite." He said with a slight chuckle.

"Suddenly I'm glad I don't eat meat." Gary replied flatly, returning to his salad.

"Pussy." Andrew taunted through a mouthful of lasagna.

"Go to hell, Andrew."

Tracey laughed with Anna and Chelsea as the group resumed eating in relative silence for a few minutes. The silence was broken by Chelsea casually mentioning an upcoming concert, causing Gary and Andrew to chatter on for several minutes before being interrupted by Anna and then going off on a different tangent. Tracey let his mind wander while he watched Gary laugh with Andrew and flirt with Anna; he was amazed at how relaxed Gary was being and wished that Andrew and Chelsea didn't have to leave tomorrow so he could see more of this happy and some-what playful side to Gary that he had hardly seen before the two teens came to visit.

He was shaken out of his reverie by Andrew's voice suddenly. "Have you ever been to a concert, Tracey?"

Startled by the sudden question, Tracey merely shook his head.

"Uh-oh, a virgin!" Chelsea sang loudly before smiling and patting Tracey's shoulder in a comforting manner. "You'll have to come see Nightwish with us; they'll be perfect for your first concert." She turned her attention to Anna. "What was your first concert, Anna?"

"Metallica." Anna replied happily, earning a groan from the boys on either side of her. "Oh, and yours were any better?" She asked.

"Anything's better than Metallica!" Gary said airily, causing Andrew to laugh softly.

"Except Slayer." Andrew added; Gary nodded in agreement.

"What was yours, Gary?" Tracey asked, hoping the response would at least be a name he recognized.

"Iron Maiden."

"Gonna get you, no matter how far!" Andrew sang loudly in response, Tracey saw Dr. Harris at the other table shake his head with a small smile and say something to Chris. "Mine is the best by far – Journey!"

"Andrew loves Journey." Gary explained to Tracey.

"I don't _love_ Journey." Andrew replied solemnly, appearing to be expecting some sort of response.

"She's just a small town girl." Gary said softly, meeting Andrew's eyes and earning a grin in response.

"Living in a lonely world, she took the midnight train going anywhere!" Andrew sang obnoxiously.

"Scrubs, season two, episode three!" Chelsea said loudly.

Gary scoffed at her as Andrew shook his head with a grimace. "Season three, episode two, genius."

Tracey laughed at their banter but couldn't help but feel slightly left out as the four teens around him laughed and joked more. He was mildly relieved when Professor Oak approached the table with Dr. Harris and told them that it was time to go.

--- --- ---

The day was over far too soon for Gary, who had hoped that the day would go on and on in a never-ending barrage of laughter of music. Though he was looking forward to having time alone with Anna, he hated knowing that Andrew, Chelsea, and Chris would be leaving with Alex the next day. What he hated even more was not knowing when the next time he would get to see them would be. Granted, the school semester ended in about a month, leaving them with a month of vacation time, but then what would happen? Usually Chelsea visited her family in the Orange Islands for her vacations, undoubtedly relishing in the tropical sun after the months of cool weather in eastern Sinnoh. Chris went back home to Johto while Andrew alone stayed in Sinnoh.

The past few days had been somewhat of a blur, between the melancholic reverie he had been in when they had surprised him by showing up, the anxiety over Anna followed by the genuine happiness over his new girlfriend, the emotional rollercoaster that had been Halloween, and the constant laughter and fun that was nearly every waking moment spent with Andrew and Chelsea. Gary realized that he had hardly hung out with Chris, aside from the times they were all in the music room. Not that it was particularly unusual – Chris was by far the most mature out of all of them, it was no surprise that he had taken a liking to Bella and spent more time hanging out with the girls and the professors than with Gary, Tracey, and his two roommates. He was usually the quiet one in the group, keeping the younger boys out of trouble and keeping Chelsea from killing Andrew when he was at his most obnoxious. It wasn't that Gary and Andrew were particularly immature – Gary knew he was far more mature than many people his age, Andrew just happened to bring out the obnoxious child in him that had been buried beneath an arrogant façade for so long that Gary had forgotten it even existed. It wasn't that Andrew was immature either, he just chose to be obnoxiously fun to make up for years wasted by misery and agony.

The obnoxiousness that often irritated Gary was one of the things he valued about Andrew – it had a strangely calming effect, managing to make Gary relax enough to let his guard down. Beyond that though, was the fact that Andrew had been there and done that in most respects and could offer Gary advice that no one else could – not his grandfather, not May, not even Alex, whom he so often went to for advice.

Laying back on his bed, waiting for Anna to come out of the bathroom from her shower, Gary thought about his friends – not just Anna and his roommates – about everyone and what had happened over time. Anna and Andrew were by far his best friends, having both been key in the failure of his suicide attempt; Anna being the reason he had forced himself to cut the attempt short, Andrew being the one to sense something was wrong and checking on his friend just as he slipped into unconsciousness.

Chelsea, Kate, and Rachael were wonderful, intelligent friends but only Chelsea remained. Gary thought of how often he and Kate had lazed about while reading and hardly talking, it had always been a soothing experience to hang out with her, until he made the tragic decision to date her. He remembered when they were both ten and received their first pokemon, Kate choosing a charmander while Gary chose the squirtle; Kate had set off with him, May and her friends, driven across Kanto by Anna and Rachael's mother, who had plenty of money and far too much time on her hands. Kate had been the only other trainer in the group and they constantly studied technique while training against each other; she had been a successful trainer, earning four badges before her techniques began to fail her. She began to lose battle after battle while Gary became a nearly-undefeated trainer; he had constantly tried to help her develop new strategies but she soon became disheartened and gave up on training, choosing to continue traveling with Gary as a friend rather than a fellow trainer. May and Michelle had told him she had changed a lot when he was gone, Anna had said that she was horrible to her, Kate herself had proven herself not to be the girl Gary thought she was – Gary wondered where things had gone wrong. Had failing as a trainer been so hard on Kate that she had become an arrogant bitch to cover up the heartbroken child, similar to what had happened after Gary lost his parents? Or had it simply been pure and venomous jealousy over Anna and the relationship she had with Gary even those many years ago?

Their experience dating had been so chaste that Gary could hardly stand it, thinking on it, it was no wonder he had turned to Anna for release.

_--- --- ---_

_He had just finished his research internship at Sayda Island and had three months before school began in August. Gary had decided to come home for two of those months to relax and be with his friends before leaving for two extremely busy years of school. He was only fifteen, Kate was getting ready to turn sixteen, but his relationship with Anna had turned sexual over a year ago now. It had been so obvious that Kate's feelings towards him were no longer platonic that it wasn't the least bit surprising when she asked him out two weeks after his return to Pallet. _

_At first he had been happy, Kate was one of his closest friends and now she was his first _real _girlfriend. At first he was ok with the gentle and chaste kisses but after only a few days he got bored with them. _

_Their first kiss had been the third day they were dating, they had watched a movie which bored Gary but seemed to please Kate. It had been gentle and sweet, more of a tentative brush of lips that made Kate blush and left Gary wanting more. _

_He wouldn't have minded their first kiss being so innocent if it wasn't for the fact that _every_ kiss was like that: gentle brushes of Kate's lips against his. Finally, after nearly two weeks of those little kisses, after Gary had already had sex with Anna three times to relieve his frustration, Kate had stepped it up by making the kisses longer, by parting her mouth slightly, making the kisses slightly moist and heated. They were still nothing compared to the kisses Gary was used to from other girls, mainly Anna. _

--- --- ---

_They were at Kate's house, watching a movie while her parents were out and Gary had been bored after ten minutes. Finally he leaned over and pressed his lips to Kate's. She parted her lips slightly and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue across her lower lip, silently requesting her permission to deepen the kiss. Kate pulled away and blushed slightly while Gary groaned softly._

"_What is it?" He asked softly, turning off the tv and trying to meet her eyes as she avoided his. "Kate?" He pressed as she remained silent._

"_I just think we're moving a bit fast." She finally said softly._

_Gary repressed the urge to sigh and roll his eyes. 'Moving too fast, is she serious?' He thought to himself. The first kiss with Anna had been more intense than the fiercest ones with Kate – if Kate's kisses could even be called fierce; Gary tended to think of them as boring._

"_It's just a kiss, Kate." He said, feeling a slight sinking feeling in his stomach, knowing already that he wasn't going to be able to keep this relationship going much longer._

_She responded by kissing him, letting his tongue slide into her mouth. Gary could tell it wasn't what she wanted so he pulled back with a sigh, knowing tonight would be one of those nights that he snuck off with Anna and hating himself for it._

--- --- ---

_He had gone to Anna's house later that night and told Anna everything that was going on – how bored he was, how irritatingly innocent Kate was, how frustrated he was, having grown used to deep kisses with open mouths and explorative tongues. Anna had relieved everyone of the frustrations he named – kissing him deeply and roughly, running her nails down his back in a way that drove him crazy, kneeling before him and taking him deep in her mouth while looking up at him with seductive eyes, sliding over his waist and allowing him to slide easily into her._

_He felt terrible afterwards. _

_He sat at the piano in the music room while playing Lacrimosa, even then, it was a familiar melody that his hands traced across the keys without his guidance. It had been months since he played it. It had been months since he sought the blade._

_The release he had felt with Anna hadn't been enough; he needed a different release._

_He walked to the bathroom with the knife in his hand and closed the door behind him, slipping the long-sleeved shirt over his head. His right arm was laced with scars, most well over a year old and already fading, though several fresher scars crossed his upper forearm from the last time he had lost it. His left arm had only one scar, a single straight slice across his wrist, it hadn't been deep enough to scar badly but he had traced the blade across it to make the scar more vivid a few times over the past three years. _

_Gary closed his eyes as he pressed the knife's cold blade against his left forearm, gasping slightly as he felt the skin split neatly, spilling the blood in a steady stream. He lifted the blade and placed it on a different spot, pulling it across his flesh. _

--- --- ---

"_Gary! Kate's here!" May's voice called from the other side of the music room door._

_Gary's eyes widened in something akin to fear as he looked down at Anna. "Shit!" He said softly, quickly pulling away from Anna._

"_You're going to drive yourself crazy with her if you don't finish." Anna said as Gary frantically searched for all of their clothes._

"_I'll drive myself crazy either way!" He reminded her as he pulled on his clothes and tossed Anna's clothes to her. _

_Anna looked at him sadly as she pulled on her panties and slid her jeans over her legs. "If you can't date her, then just tell her, Gary." She said softly as she turned for him to hook her bra for her._

_Gary nodded miserably as he hooked the black garment closed before leaving the room._

_Kate was waiting in the living room for him, her eyes had a look he couldn't decipher but decided to ignore it._

"_Let's go up to your room." Kate said with a strange smile when he appeared._

_Confused, Gary followed her up the stairs and into his bedroom, surprised when she locked the door behind him. She kissed him, sliding her tongue into her mouth before he could fully comprehend what was happening. _

_Kate walked to the bed and sat on the edge of it, beckoning him towards her. He cautiously stepped towards her, knowing he was frowning in confusion the whole way there. _

"_I know you've been with other girls before, Gary." She whispered as she pulled away from another kiss. "I want us to be like that." _

_Gary felt his stomach knot at her words. 'What the hell is going on?' He thought in confusion as he looked at the innocent girl before him, knowing he couldn't be the one to be her first, knowing that he was going to break it off with her to keep from hurting her. _

_Kate took his silence and wide eyes to mean something other than what he was actually thinking and kissed him again. She took his hands and placed one on her chest and the other on her hip as the kiss deepened. After a moment, Kate pulled away and lifted her shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor. Gary swallowed hard as she slid the hand on her hip to the front of her jeans; if it were anyone else, he would have no apprehensions. _

_But it wasn't anyone else, this was Kate – sweet, quiet, innocent Kate – the girl who blushed insanely when anyone mentioned something even slightly sexual. What they were doing was not something the Kate he knew would do._

_She slowly unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down slightly, guiding his hand into her panties. She was slightly wet, growing more so at his touch, but Gary didn't see any sign of enjoyment other than a soft sigh. _

_Despite not finishing with Anna, Gary could tell nothing was going to happen with Kate – there wasn't any stimulus for him. While Anna would moan and gasp, biting her lower lip in the sexiest way possible, Kate merely sighed a soft, nearly inaudible sigh. While Anna would writhe and move her hips against him, Kate remained still, her hand trembling slightly against his. While Anna would kiss him, bite him, run her hands over his body, Kate gazed up at him. _

_And it did absolutely nothing for him._

_He slid his hand away, picked up her shirt, and handed it to her. "I can't do this, Kate." He said softly, not meeting her eyes._

_Kate laughed softly and he could tell it was forced. "Suddenly you're all shy. What about it can't you do?"_

_Gary sighed and forced himself to meet her eyes. "It's not just _this_, Kate, it's _us_. I can't date you." He looked away, biting his lip. "I'm sorry."_

"_But… you're my best friend."_

"_That's why, Kate."_

--- --- ---

Kate had always been the little sweetheart of the group and, in a way, she was more like a little sister to Gary than a best friend, much less a lover. He was someone she asked for advice when it came to training or school, a shoulder she cried on when she was upset, a person she ran to when she was scared. She was sweet, innocent, caring, naïve – boring. Anna on the other hand…

Anna was the life of the group, the one who would take off all her clothes and jump up and down on the bed in the hotel room on a dare just to make things more interesting. She would be the one to stay up late at night, telling ghost stories or playing games, anything but sleep. Her wild streak was what always kept Gary interested when everyone became boring to him after awhile.

Of course, Rachael, being Anna's younger twin, had that streak too. Gary found it vaguely ironic that Rachael hated Anna's craziness so much when she herself had that side to her. He found it ironic that Kate hated Anna so much when her best friend had those same characteristics. The difference between Anna and Rachael was the fact that Anna was unashamed – she flaunted her wild streak while Rachael forced it into submission. Anna wore the torn clothing and the bright makeup, dyed her hair the funky colors, listened to the heavy metal music, got drunk and had sex with lots of people, and was loud and crazy and fun to be around. Rachael was the one who wore the preppy polo shirts with the neatly ironed skirts and her prissy little shoes with their tiny heels, wore perfectly applied makeup, did her hair conservatively, listened to classical music, hid her sexuality, and acted the way she was expected to. Rachael wanted to fit in; Anna wanted to be free to live life her own way. Gary remembered vividly the way Rachael had revealed to him her wild streak – and given herself to him entirely just to fit in with the other girls.

--- --- ---

_It was the first time Gary had driven his Camaro outside of Sinnoh since he had gotten his driver's license, the second time he had come home since school had started. He was sixteen now and he had just finished his second semester at the Sinnoh University of Biological Sciences and now he was driving home for a few days for Anna and Rachael's eighteenth birthday party before the next semester started. Of course, he hadn't told anyone in Pallet that he was coming and Anna's reaction when she saw him arrive at the party had been worth it. As soon as she saw him, she screamed his name and ran to him, throwing herself into her best friend's arms and kissing him quickly on the lips._

_The girls drank nearly nonstop that night, except for Kate and Rachael, though Rachael did drink but nowhere near as much as the other girls. Gary sat in the living room with the girls as they talked about sex, Kate blushing intensely and leaving the room quickly. It was mildly uncomfortable for him, partially because his sister was talking about her experiences with four of her friends, three of which he'd had sex with – the last time he'd been home, for his sixteenth birthday, he'd hooked up with Bella at the party, much to his surprise; then two days later, he'd hooked up with Michelle. Anna had mentioned that Rachael was the only one, other than Kate, who was still a virgin and yet Rachael talked about orgasms along with the girls. _

_Rachael had disappeared soon afterwards and Gary left the party, wandering upstairs to check on Rachael. She was standing in the doorway of her bedroom, looking as though she were expecting someone. She invited Gary inside when she saw him and locked the door behind her, leading Gary to her bed._

_She kissed him deeply, not as fierce as Anna's kisses but just as deep and full of lust. Gary returned the kiss fervently and she pulled away after a moment. "I want to be like the other girls, Gary." She whispered._

"_What do you mean?" Gary asked softly, brushing stray strands of strawberry blonde hair out of Rachael's face._

"_I don't want to be a virgin, Gary."_

"_I… Rachael… Shouldn't your first time be with some special though? Isn't that what you said you wanted, downstairs with the girls?"_

"_You _are_ special. You're one of my best friends, I can actually play music with you and you understand what's going on. It's incredibly sexy." She gazed at him with an uncharacteristically smug smile playing across her lips. "I've heard my sister and Bella and Michelle talk about you. They say you're the best guy to have a one-nighter with – you actually care whether the girls get something from it. I want you to be my first, I trust you."_

"_I don't want to hurt you."_

_Rachael laughed throatily, running her fingers down his chest lightly. "You won't hurt me, trust me." With that, she kissed him again, pushing him down on the pink comforter as she unbuttoned her blouse and straddled him, slowly grinding her hips against his. "You want it." She whispered in his ear after pulling away from the kiss, she nipped at his shoulder, rather hard. She groaned as she tossed her blouse to the floor and stood up, sliding her skirt down her shapely legs._

_He gave in, part of him didn't want to, but he did it anyway. He felt like he was taking advantage of the trust she had in him._

--- --- ---

Gary wondered if that happening had anything to do with the way Rachael treated Anna. Either way, he and Rachael would never again sit in the living room at the piano, trying to outplay each other; he would never again watch her play her violin, her long fingers dancing over the strings and gracefully moving the bow over them. Things would never be the same between him and Rachael or him and Kate – all because of Anna.

He wondered briefly if having Anna as his girlfriend was worth losing two friendships.

Anna stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her torso, her long hair still damp from the shower, humming as she walked across the room to the bed where Gary was laying. She kissed him gently on the lips before tossing the towel on the floor and lying next to him.

'Of course she's worth it.' Gary thought firmly as Anna's arm snaked across his waist and her head rested on his chest.

"Not thinking about having sex with other girls, are you?" Anna teased.

Gary chuckled softly. "I kind of was, actually." He admitted. "I was thinking about the way friendships seem to change and end so suddenly once sex becomes involved."

"You're thinking about Kate and Rachael." Anna said softly.

Gary sighed and sat up, gently pulling Anna backwards against his chest so that her head was against his shoulder as he leaned against the headboard. "I guess I just feel kind of depressed that two friendships that meant a lot to me ended over this."

"Do you regret it?"

"I try not to regret anything."

"Seriously, Gary."

Gary sighed again. "I never regret anything with you. I'm happiest when I'm with you, I never have to censor anything with you, I can talk to you about anything. Sometimes I think I can only be myself around you and Andrew. I just don't understand why they can't see that."

"They're not worth it, Gary. You didn't see the way they were when you weren't home – they're not the people you thought they were."

"May and Michelle told me at Michelle's birthday party that Kate changed a lot when I was away." Gary admitted.

Anna nodded. "She was really cruel at times. I never thought she could be like that, she was always so sweet and quiet – I guess it's true that it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for."

"Yeah, because the loud ones will announce when they're going to stab you in the back." Gary replied bitterly.

Anna smiled sadly and turned to face him. "Gary, what we have is something they can't understand, it's not worth worrying about. They can say what they want about me, as long as they don't start spouting off on you."

"Saying something about you is nearly the same as saying something about me, Anna."

Anna shrugged slightly, smiling at Gary. "You're tough, you can handle it. I wouldn't date a pussy."

Gary laughed and kissed her. He pulled away and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "I don't know what I would do without you." He murmured against her hair.

"You would have Tracey suck you off every day because you wouldn't be getting laid as often." Anna replied, eliciting a soft laugh as she rested her head against Gary's shoulder.

--- --- ---

Tracey had to admit he had no idea why the other teens in the room got so crazy over music. Andrew, Chris, and Chelsea were leaving today and, of course, had to spend the whole morning in the music room for "one last jam" as Andrew had put it. Of course, that had been three hours ago and it had been funny then – now Tracey was beginning to feel bored and left out because he didn't understand what was going on as he watched them play.

"Andrew! Wrong key – we're in D!" Gary scowled at Andrew as he hit a chord on the keyboard in front of him. "You're playing C, hear the difference? D, C, get it?" Gary was obviously irritated as he hit the two different chords in succession. Tracey didn't understand the big deal – what was the difference? The music sounded fine.

They went back to playing as Andrew switched back to the proper key before going off onto something different again.

"Hold on, hold on – Gary, stop!" Anna, Chelsea, and Chris stopped at Andrew's words while Gary's fingers continued to dance across the keys. "Chris – eighth note triplets, you too Chels. Anna – gallops in D minor. Gary – follow my lead." Tracey was more confused than ever.

Gary looked curious as he played simple chords on the keyboard until Andrew stepped up to the microphone, growling something about Vikings, runes, and swords. Gary had been taking a sip of water when an expression of dawning knowledge took over the slightly confused look on his face – he laughed, and nearly spit the water on his keyboard. Anna and Chelsea stopped playing as they laughed at Gary while he choked back laughter. Andrew started laughing and eventually set down his guitar.

"You had a Tuomas moment there, Gary." Andrew laughed.

"What?" Tracey finally spoke up, even more confused than he had been a moment ago.

Gary and Chelsea laughed harder as Chris chuckled and Anna looked confused.

"When we saw Nightwish for the first time – they were playing a song where Marco does vocals - the bassist," Andrew explained at Tracey's blank expression. "There's this epic part that builds until he comes in and it gets really metal – anyway, Marco does the first line and then he goes 'I don't remember any of it!' and then Tuomas – their keyboardist – was drinking wine when it happened and nearly spit it all over his keyboards."

Anna laughed while Tracey chuckled, still not understanding what had been so funny that Gary choked.

"Too bad that was the concert I missed!" Anna said, looking disappointed. "I was with you guys for the second Nightwish concert."

"What was so funny in the first place though?" Tracey asked.

"Viking metal – Amon Amarth." Andrew explained as if it was plain as day. "Oh, sorry, Trace – I forgot you're not a metal head. We were just making fun of a band we like – they just have a certain style and their lyrics are all about Vikings."

As they continued playing until Dr. Harris told them that they need to get ready to leave, Tracey couldn't help but feel that he might be happy to see them go just so he wouldn't have to be so confused and left out as he hung out with them.

--- --- ---

Gary stood with Andrew and Chelsea while Chris said goodbye to Bella and May, watching as Alex and his grandfather spoke with the helicopter pilot.

"I don't want you guys to go!" He said, smiling sadly at his friends.

Chelsea hugged him tightly. "You'll have to come up to Sinnoh, Gary, I missed hanging out with you so much!"

"I'm going to miss you guys even more now that we got to hang out for a few days." Gary admitted, looking over Chelsea's shoulder to meet Andrew's eyes while Alex and Chris started putting everyone's bags in the helicopter.

"Hey, we'll definitely be back – I like being able to turn the amps up as loud as we want!" Andrew replied as Chelsea pulled away from Gary.

Seeing Alex turn from the helicopter and begin walking across the parking lot towards them, Gary wrapped his arms around Andrew, squeezing his friend playfully. "Thank you so much for coming, Andrew – you couldn't have picked a better time." He said honestly.

"Hey, don't get all sappy! Good luck with Anna, man – take it easy with the sex, you two don't need little brats yet!" Gary laughed while Andrew turned serious. "Take it easy, Gary, I mean it. Remember what I told you."

"I will, I will, chill out already."

Andrew grinned and discreetly brushed his lips against Gary's cheek before pulling away as Alex walked up behind them.

"It was good seeing you again, Gary, I'll be back for your birthday."

"So he can drink you under the table again?" Andrew asked.

"Shut it, will you? It's bad enough I've got to deal with you messing up my lab when we get back to Sinnoh – besides that was almost two years ago." Alex turned back to Gary before embracing the boy. "Be good – don't drink too much, use protection – you don't want Anna pregnant – " Gary rolled his eyes. "Don't do anything stupid – "

"I get it, Alex."

Alex pulled away and brushed stray strands of hair out of Gary's face. "I know you do. Call me if you ever need to talk about anything, I don't want to come back in December and find out that there's a new secret. I mean it."

"I know. You guys are acting like I'm not going to see you guys again for years – Anna will keep me in line, don't worry."

Alex sighed softly. "You're a son to me, Gary; I'm going to worry no matter what."

Gary remained silent as Chris came over to the group, more touched by the words than he would admit.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

As far as the whole rattata keeping blood pressure after death, it's impossible for animals to keep blood pressure after death, seeing as part of death is the lack of blood pressure because the heart is no longer pumping. Just throwing that in there because I'm a biology major and I'm neurotic and I have to say it or else it'll annoy me to no end. I also have to add in that the college dissection stories over lunch were _not_ based on any true stories. Anyway Andrew sings part of the chorus to Iron Maiden by Iron Maiden and then also part of Don't Stop Believing by Journey. The Journey part references an episode of Scrubs, by the way, in case you didn't notice. Also – that Nightwish concert story that Andrew tells is based on a true story from my first Nightwish concert in November of 2007.

This chapter was really hard to write because I had some pretty severe writer's block and I hope it came out ok!


	20. Chapter 20: Comfort

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 20: Comfort

It had been a few days since everyone had left and Tracey noticed that Gary had been quite subdued compared to the way he had acted while his friends had been in town. He had spent most of his time with Anna – hanging out in the den, playing in the music room – the same things they usually did. May had commented casually that the two seemed happier than they had been before, more carefree and playful. May herself had been more cheerful and Tracey assumed it was because her beloved little brother was happy.

Tracey was currently in the lab checking over a female arcanine that Professor Oak suspected to be pregnant, trying to not be distracted by the Led Zeppelin songs floating from the professor's office. The door opened and closed quietly behind him – probably just May stopping by for a few minutes.

"So, what's your diagnosis, Dr. Tracey?"

Tracey looked up to meet Gary's blue eyes. "Why do you care?" He asked softly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Gary strode across the room to lean against a lab bench near Tracey. "There's only one male arcanine here, Trace; you know that."

"And just like his trainer, he has a way with the ladies." Tracey replied with a tiny smirk.

"Grandpa always says that pokemon tend to pick up the personalities of their trainers."

"That certainly explains Umbreon's ego."

Gary laughed. "She's a haughty little thing, isn't she?"

Tracey smiled and nodded, thinking of the way the pokemon would stalk silently through the halls of the house. "But she can be pretty playful – so can you, apparently."

Gary nodded slightly, gazing out a window at the hills and trees on the property.

Tracey stood up, scratching the ears of the fire dog and turning back to face Gary. "No Anna today?" He asked; it was unusual to see Gary without the girl, especially considering the fact that she had been staying at the house.

"She went back home, her mother just back from a business trip and she wanted to talk to her about what happened with Rachael at the party." Gary explained quietly. "I would've gone with her but I really can't stand the thought of seeing Rachael or Kate right now, May's with her."

Tracey sighed softly, remembering how angry Gary had been when Rachael had said those things to Anna. "I'm sorry about what happened with them, I know you were good friends with them both."

"It's interesting how sex can influence a friendship." Gary said softly, his gaze dropping to the floor. Tracey suspected he had something on his mind but didn't push the matter.

"It didn't affect ours." Tracey offered.

"It's different with girls, Trace – you're actually lucky you don't have to deal with it."

Gary's cell phone chirped suddenly, before Tracey could respond. Tracey watched him slide the phone out of his pocket, flip it open and read the message before groaning. "I have to go to Anna's." He said, not looking up at Tracey as he responded to May's message.

Gary walked quickly towards the door of the lab, calling over his shoulder to Tracey as he went. "If I'm not back by tomorrow afternoon it's just because I've been arrested for killing Kate and Rachael."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Tracey called after him.

Gary shook his head as he opened the door. "May's there, don't worry about it."

--- --- ---

May sighed as she hugged the crying girl next to her, wishing her brother could get to Anna's house faster. She could hear Rachael and Kate in the room across the hall, giggling and gossiping with some friends. Downstairs she could hear the doorbell ring and the door open, a few moments later Anna's bedroom door opened and Gary walked in with Nicole, Rachael and Anna's mother. May stepped back from Anna, allowing her brother to take her place while she walked over to Nicole. She watched Anna fold herself into Gary's arms, sobbing against his chest as he held her, stroking her hair and speaking softly to her.

"I have no idea what to do about this." Nicole said softly.

May glanced at the woman and sighed. "Anna's always welcome at our house, Grandpa wouldn't mind her staying as long as she wants – she's always over anyways." She said softly, still watching the couple before them.

"I knew their relationship was strained, but I can't believe that Rachael said those things to Anna. I'd like to think I raised my daughters better than that. I know I can't trust Rachael with Anna anymore, not with me being gone so often on business – but I can't just kick my daughters out."

May nodded, thinking for a moment. "I'm going to go over to my house to talk to my grandfather about Anna staying with us for awhile. I don't know what to say when it comes to Rachael though."

"I would feel terrible if Anna lived somewhere else while I allowed Rachael to sill stay here."

"Rachael has school up in Viridian; she could always get an apartment up there." May suggested, taking her keys out of her pocket. "I'll be back in maybe an hour; I don't think Rachael and Kate will try to do anything with Gary here."

May shot one last glance at her brother as she walked out of the room with Nicole, noticing how much calmer Anna had become in the moments since Gary had arrived.

--- --- ---

Gary glanced up when he heard his sister close the door as she left with Nicole and turned his attention back to Anna. Nicole had told him when she let him in that Rachael had been needlessly cruel to Anna, with Kate stepping in to make matters worse. Anna had been sobbing when he first came in; she had calmed considerably, leaning against his chest and crying silently. He gently tilted her face upward as he pulled away slightly so he could see her face – she was still heart-achingly pretty even with her eyeliner smudged horribly beneath her eyes, her mascara trailing messy lines down her face as the tragic tears still fell from her hazel eyes.

Gary smiled gently at her. "You've got a bit of a black metal thing going right now, babe." He teased, wiping away a stray tear.

Anna smiled slightly and Gary felt triumphant; the feeling faded quickly with the smile. Gary kissed her lips gently and sighed as he pulled back after the kiss. "How can I cheer you up?" He mused quietly as he gazed into her sad eyes.

Anna sighed and walked to her bed, sitting down and looking miserable as Gary approached her. He gazed down at her, lifting her chin to meet his eyes. "Come on, smile for me, Anna." He grinned broadly at her, hoping to make her smile.

"You look like an idiot." She replied flatly.

Gary sighed and flopped down on the bed next to her. "Gee, I love you too, Anna." He said dryly.

Anna laughed softly for a moment before returning to silent misery. Gary sighed again and watched her through weary eyes as she absentmindedly traced the embroidery on her striped comforter. Anna dimly noticed Gary's eyes take on a mischievous gleam as he suddenly sat up and leaned towards her.

"I know how to cheer you up." He murmured against her lips before kissing her deeply, sliding his hands along the sides of her torso before they came to a rest at her stomach.

Gary smiled as he pulled away, letting his hands rest where they were for a moment as a look of realization appeared on Anna's face. "Gary, don't you dare."

"Too late." He replied happily as he tickled her, causing her to squeal and squirm under his hands.

She gasped before succumbing to giggles as she tried to escape him. "See, it really isn't that hard to smile, now is it?" Gary asked lightly as he pinned her to the bed, still tickling her. 'She's so gorgeous when she laughs.' He thought contentedly and slid his hands off of her waist to land on the covers of the bed.

Anna's giggles died as she lay beneath him, gazing up into those blue eyes with a content smile. Sighing, she slid her hands along Gary's arms and across his shoulders before coming to a rest at the nape of his neck and gently pulling him down to her for a kiss. Gary slid off of her onto the bed and pulled her closer to him as the kiss deepened. Anna pulled away and rested her head against his chest.

"Thank you." She said softly.

Gary smiled at her. "I'll always be here for you whenever you need me, you know that, Anna."

"You're the best." Anna whispered, closing her eyes and cuddling against him.

"You're better."

--- --- ---

May slowly opened Anna's door, sincerely hoping she wasn't walking in on anything – at least Gary's bed had curtains around it, it didn't matter much if she walked in without knocking. She was somewhat relieved when she saw Gary sitting up against the headboard of the bed, Anna resting her head on his lap and apparently asleep as Gary toyed gently with her hair.

"Hey," She greeted softly as she closed the door gently behind her.

Gary barely glanced up at her. "Hey, yourself." He replied softly, watching Anna sleep.

"How's she doing?" May sat on the edge of the bed carefully to avoid waking Anna.

"Fine." May was slightly alarmed by how distant her brother was acting.

"Are you alright?" Gary nodded slightly, distractedly, still not looking up and May wondered if he had even heard the question. "Gary?"

He finally raised his head to meet her eyes. "I guess I should've come with you guys."

May laughed softly, mirthlessly. "You would have stabbed Rachael if you heard some of the things she said. Even Kate looked surprised to hear her say them – I really think Kate just got jealous over Anna and it went too far."

"I don't care about those two anymore." Gary said softly, turning his attention back to Anna.

"I talked to Grandpa about Anna staying at our house for at least a little while – you know, see if this whole thing happens to blow over. I talked to Nicole too, she thinks it's a good idea; at least until the next school year starts and Rachael can get a dorm or something up at the school in Viridian… Gary, are even listening to me?"

"Of course I'm listening to you, May."

"So, what do you think about Anna staying with us?"

"Do you even need to ask?"

"Well, I know it's still early in your relationship. I wouldn't want to put any strain on it so early in."

"It's only early in our _official_ relationship, May. You think it wasn't there all along?"

May gazed at her brother, suddenly understanding why he had been so distraught when Anna had cut off everything between them a few days before Halloween. "My god, Gary. You love her."

Gary raised his eyes to calmly meet May's. "Maybe." He said dismissively.

"Do you?"

"She's my best friend, May." Anna stirred suddenly, opening her eyes and gazing up at Gary through sleepy eyes. "How do you feel?" Gary asked her.

"Like I need a bubble bath and a good lay." Anna answered honestly, eliciting a small laugh from May and Gary.

"I could help you with that."

"I'll leave you two alone." May stood and walked out of the room, shooting Gary a significant look as she did so.

"I take it I have mascara all over my face." Anna said as the door closed behind May.

Gary nodded before leaning forward and licking her face playfully. Anna laughed as he made a face. "You are such an idiot." She teased, wiping her face.

"Oh, thanks, you bitch. That's what I get for making a fool out of myself to cheer you up?" Gary only halfheartedly covered the teasing tone in his voice with mock annoyance.

Anna merely laughed again and kissed him, pulling away before it deepened. She smiled sweetly at Gary. "Run the water in the bathtub for me?"

Gary rolled his eyes with a small smile that he tried to hide. "I buy you a ring and suddenly I'm your servant?"

"It's in the job description of 'boyfriend'." Anna replied with a grin, standing and tugging Gary's hands until he stood and walked into her large bathroom.

Anna watched in silence as Gary turned on the water and adjusted the temperature, watching as he turned and leaned against the wall when he was done.

"I never thought you were one for bubble baths, Anna."

"Yeah, well, I had to find new ways to relax when you were gone – no one night stands compared to screwing around with you, hanging out with Rachael or May or Michelle couldn't compare to hanging out with you. The only thing I had left was cutting myself but I gave that up after you left for Sinnoh. For awhile I was just drinking a lot but I got alcohol poisoning and kind of came to my senses and stopped drinking so much." She explained softly, gazing at the blue tiles of the floor. "Mom even got me a new shrink after that and that's when everything started getting better – seriously, it's amazing how much repainting your room can change things. Whoever gave that idea to that woman deserves an award." She smiled at Gary as she spoke, pulling her tank top over her head and slipping off her jeans.

"Black _is_ a bit of a depressing color." Gary sighed as he pulled off his own clothes while Anna examined a shelf containing bottles of fragranced bubbles and salts.

"Strawberry or vanilla?" Anna asked holding up two bottles for him to see.

"Whatever you want." Gary replied, stepping into the large bathtub and closing his eyes while Anna decided.

Sighing softly, Gary leaned back against the side of the tub, letting his hair fall over the side to keep it from getting wet, trying not to think about the conversation with May. Anna slipped into the warm water with him a moment later, positioning herself between his legs and leaning against his chest. She smiled serenely when Gary's hands slid down her arms to her hands and their fingers intertwined loosely. They were silent for several minutes before Gary broke the silence.

"Apparently May talked to my grandfather about you possibly moving in with us." He said lazily, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, still holding hands.

"Really?"

Gary nodded in response as he pressed gentle kisses along her neck, causing her to giggle slightly.

Anna pulled her hands out of his and slowly turned in his arms until she was kneeling between Gary's legs, facing him. "That would mean I would live down the hall from you." She said softly, Gary nodded again. "What do you think?" She asked.

Gary sighed, leaning his head against her shoulder. "I'm not going to say what I think, Anna. I don't want to affect your decision in any way; it'll affect you the most so I want you to actually think about what you want, not about what I think you should do."

Anna pondered this for a moment before pressing her lips to Gary's. "Thank you." She whispered against his lips as she pulled back.

"For what, Anna?"

"For caring about me enough to make my own decision."

--- --- ---

Tracey found himself wondering where Gary had disappeared to, Anna was at her house with May, Bella, and Michelle while the girls had insisted Gary stay at the house to avoid Rachael. Tracey knew Gary was around the large house somewhere since his car was in the garage – judging by the empty bedroom and silent music room, he wasn't on the second floor. The den was empty; Gary usually didn't go down there by himself anyway, not being partial to video games or television in general. Professor Oak was the only one who would be in the lab this late and the living room was eerily empty as well.

"Where the hell is he?" Tracey asked aloud, bored and wanting to do something with someone.

He wandered into the kitchen, taking a can of soda out of the fridge and walking through the backdoor onto the porch. It was dark and rather chilly with heat lightning streaking the night sky with brilliant bursts of light. Gary was lying on his back on the middle of the porch with his arms folded behind his head.

"Oh, you're out here. That would explain why it's so quiet inside."

"My god, Trace! I didn't hear you come out."

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. I wasn't exactly being quiet, it's not my fault you were too busy spacing out to hear me." Tracey chuckled as Gary glared at him. "What are you doing out here anyway?"

Gary gestured vaguely at the sky, not bothering to form a verbal answer.

"I heard Anna's moving in." Tracey said casually after a few minutes of silence.

Gary nodded slowly, apparently deep in thought. "She is." He confirmed.

"You must be pretty happy about that."

"I am. I'm just not sure what to think of it, things have just changed a lot over the past few weeks and I have no idea how I feel about it all." Gary admitted after a moment of hesitation.

"You've been a lot more cheerful lately." Tracey said quietly, watching as Gary continued to gaze at the sky. "And you seem like you've been sleeping better too - I assume sex is a good cure for insomnia?"

Gary laughed softly, sitting up to face Tracey. "You could say that." He replied with a small smirk.

Tracey tilted his head back to look at the sky, slightly anxious with Gary's gaze on him and not knowing what to say.

Gary broke the silence after a few moments. "So… did you take my advice on Halloween?"

Tracey frowned for a moment, trying to think of what Gary was talking about. "Oh, yeah. Andrew's not as squeamish as you… pity he doesn't have a pierced tongue though."

Gary laughed. "Andrew has no boundaries when it comes to that kind of stuff… well, aside from bestiality or necrophilia." He muttered under his breath. "He apparently used to have his tongue pierced, he let his friend do it for him and it got really badly infected and so he let the piercing close. Sometimes he can be an idiot."

It was Tracey's turn to laugh. "You're lucky to have a friend like him though." He hesitated for several moments before continuing. "I, uh, heard about what happened that night… after the whole, um, chaotic … mass of chaos."

Gary laughed softly before sighing and flopping back on to the deck of the patio. "I kind of freaked out about… something."

"Something everyone close to you knows about except me." Tracey said softly, sounding slightly hurt. "Andrew wouldn't tell me when I asked him, he said that it was a really big deal for you… and that I should ask you myself."

Gary groaned. "That's Andrew all right. You really want to know what that was all about?"

"Everything that happened with Kate and Rachael?" Tracey guessed.

Gary shook his head. "That's something else entirely." He sighed. "No, I tried to kill myself before coming back home and it didn't sink in until then. So I freaked out."

Tracey remained silent as Gary's eerily calm words sunk in before nodding and walking to where Gary was lying, sitting down beside him.

"I kind of figured it was something along those lines." Tracey finally said.

Gary turned his head to look at Tracey, an unreadable look crossing over his face momentarily. He sat up slowly, not taking his eyes off of Tracey as he folded his legs beneath him.

"Why are you being so calm about it?" Gary asked so softly Tracey had to strain to hear him.

"What's past is past, Gary, any reaction would be futile. You can't change the past."

Gary lowered his eyes, picking idly at the sleeve of his sweatshirt. "That's one of the things I like about you so much… You take things as they are, without judging or anything. I wish more people were like that."

Tracey sighed and reached his hand out, gently lifting Gary's chin to meet his eyes. "People like Kate and Rachael?"

Gary nodded slightly. "I have a lot of history with those two, it kind of hurts to know that there's nothing left of our friendships anymore because of Anna."

"You have more history with Anna than with either of them, Gary." Tracey paused for a moment with a slight frown as he thought. "Like I said, what's past is past. Maybe you should try talking to them though, let them know how you feel about all of the stuff going on. If anything, it would give you some sort of closure."

"I don't know how I feel about it though. Besides, they're both so stubborn that talking wouldn't do anything but lead to an argument – I'm done with arguing, Tracey, it doesn't solve anything. All it does is cause more problems." Gary sighed, feeling helpless.

Tracey slowly traced his fingers along Gary's cheek before sliding his hand though the long hair, gently pulling out the band holding it back from Gary's face and running his hands through it several times until it fell around Gary's shoulders in a dark sheet. Placing his hands at the back of Gary's neck, Tracey leaned forward and tentatively brushed his lips against Gary's before pulling away slightly. Gary returned the kiss with one of his own, open-mouthed but soft and brief, gently running his tongue along Tracey's lower lip when he pulled away.

"We shouldn't do this." Gary whispered with eyes closed and hands trailing along Tracey's back.

Tracey nodded, watching helplessly as Gary pulled away and stood up to return to the house. Tracey followed him into the kitchen, watching Gary pause as they heard May's car pull into the driveway.

"I don't want to risk what's between me and Anna, Tracey. I worry that I'm going to mess it up."

"Don't worry about it so much, and take my advice with Kate and Rachael, Gary. If talking to them face-to-face will lead to an argument then find another way to talk to them."

Anna and May walked through the garage door, each holding a box overflowing with clothes.

Anna grinned broadly at Gary. "We've got all my clothes packed into May's car, plus my books and cd collection. Mom put a lock on my door so that Rachael can't get into anything and she made her spend the night someplace else so we can get most of my stuff without being around her – is everything ok?"

Gary nodded, walking towards her and cupping her face in his hands and kissing her sweetly. Tracey bit his lip, remembering how Gary's lips had felt against his own; he looked away from the couple, feeling May's intense gaze on him as if she knew what the two boys had done only moments before.

"Everything's fine." Gary whispered against Anna's lips and Tracey wondered who exactly he was trying to reassure – Anna, himself, or Tracey.

--- --- ---


	21. Chapter 21: Confrontation

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 21: Confrontation

"You're making this so much more complicated than it needs to be, Gary."

Gary narrowed his eyes at May from his position on the purple window seat in his sister's bedroom.

"Oh stop glaring at me. You know I'm right." May continued as she examined the many colors of nail polish on her vanity table. "You just don't want to admit that you've fallen for your best friend. As far as everything with Tracey goes, you just don't know how to keep a friendship platonic."

"That certainly explains why I've never had sex with Kate, Chris, Alex, Ash… I could keep going." Gary snapped, glaring out the window, watching Tracey and his grandfather feed several nidoran in the fields behind the lab.

May sighed as she gently shook a small bottle of red nail polish. "I think you're just afraid of commitment – will you stop arguing for once?" She cut her brother's retort short. "You wouldn't even be questioning your relationship with Anna if it wasn't for everything that happened with Kate and Rachael – take Tracey's advice and talk to them before it starts affecting the way you act with Anna."

"Like I told Tracey, they're _not_ going to listen! It's just going to lead to another argument!"

"Like Tracey told _you_, Gary – find another way to talk to them if they're just going to argue to your face."

Gary was silent for a long while as May expertly brushed the polish onto her nails.

"May?"

"Hmm?"

"You always had a problem with me being such good friends with Anna, why do you all of a sudden support us so much?"

May sighed, glancing up at her brother as she finished her nails. Closing the bottle and setting it down on the vanity, she stood and crossed the room. She sat on the side of the window seat opposite Gary and faced him while she gently blew on her nails to dry the polish.

"Gary, for the longest time, you hung out with everyone equally – Kate, Michelle, Rachael, Anna – and you never had any problems. I mean, you got homesick sometimes and got moody sometimes, but you never had any issues other than that. Then you started hanging out with Anna more and then you started wearing long sleeves all the time and you started getting more and more moody and then you completely withdrew from everyone after the Indigo League and then randomly went off to Johto by yourself without even bothering to tell us! You would come home for awhile and spend almost all of your time with Anna. Gary, you were never happy, nothing was ever good enough for you – you were always cutting yourself, always sneaking off with Anna, always avoiding actually talking to us about what was going on in your head! Put yourself in my place, Gary – if I was your little sister and suddenly started acting so differently at the same time that I started hanging out almost exclusively with one friend – how would you feel about that person?" Gary nodded, understanding where May was coming from. "It was easier for me to put the blame on someone else than admit that my little brother could have a problem that I couldn't help him with. You mean the world to me, Gary, I was worried about you. Then that day," She paused, gently taking Gary's left hand and tracing the longest scar on his arm with her finger, remembering that morning when she stitched his arm and how Anna's presence had managed to bring him back to himself so quickly. "Being with Anna cheered you up so quickly – I realized that what was going on had nothing to do with her. When I see you two together, I get so happy because you're happy; that's why I don't want to see anything happen between you two because you can't move on from Kate and Rachael."

--- --- ---

Gary sat on his bed flipping through notebooks from school, smiling at the notes in the margins of the papers between himself, Andrew, and Chelsea. Seeing the clash between his neat script, Andrew's messy scrawl, and Chelsea's bubbly and girly handwriting reminded him of the fun times they'd had living together or hanging out at Alex's house when he stayed there for the first few semesters of school.

He paused at a page with an arrow pointing at a symbol with a question mark – obviously drawn by Andrew. Off to the side was his own handwriting '_alpha_ _– fucking idiot'_ followed by Andrew's handwriting '_so I'm an alpha-idiot, what does that make you?_' '_alpha-genius_'. Purple letters were next to the exchange: '_alpha-sex goddess_'.

Gary laughed softly at Chelsea's words, eternally captured in his memory in that purple ink. His eyes strayed to Andrew's response. '_I thought that was Gary's title_' '_last I knew, I didn't have a pussy_' '_maybe, but that's easily fixed with surgery these days_'.

That was the constant banter between the three of them – sex themed with constant playful insults – the typical conversation of teenage friends. Gary knew that it had been only about a year since the notes were written off in the margin of his papers, yet it felt like an eternity. He couldn't even remember most of what he had learned in that class yet he could recall so vividly the memories of sitting in the front row of seats between Andrew and Chelsea, trying not to laugh as Andrew made crude jokes, being glared at by Alex in the classes that he taught. Those were perhaps the most fun classes: biochemistry, microbiology, and genetics – taught by the person who had once sat in the same seats, joking and laughing with the teenagers who would be parents of May and Gary in only a few short years.

Sighing softly, Gary leaned back against the pillows of the bed, gazing at the many notebooks scattered around him. Flipping through them had brought up a nearly-overwhelming feeling of nostalgia.

--- --- ---

_Andrew fell back on the blue carpet of Gary's room at Alex's house, hysterically laughing as Gary put the guitar back in place, laughing as well. The door suddenly opened, revealing an exhausted Alex, wearing boxers and a t-shirt, his long hair tangled horribly._

"_Boys, it's four in the morning." He said tiredly._

"_Sorry, Alex." Gary choked between laughter._

_Alex's eyes narrowed slightly at the laughing teens. "Are you two drunk?"_

_Gary shook his head helplessly, finally calming down, gesturing at the empty energy drink cans littering his desk._

"_You have class at eight; you're never going to be able to sleep!" Alex scolded, rolling his eyes when Gary started laughing again when he looked at Andrew. "Fine, don't complain to me when you crash in the middle of chemistry lab." He turned and left the room, closing the door sharply behind him._

--- --- ---

"_It would be so nice if prissy little whores would _shut the hell up_ during class!" Gary said loudly, not looking up from his notes as the giggling, gossiping girls behind them fell silent._

_Alex turned from the white board to look at him in surprise for a moment before shrugging and continuing to write the chemical reaction he had been describing for the last five minutes. _

"_About fucking time." Chelsea muttered, rubbing her temples while Andrew leaned closer to Gary._

"_Isn't that the girl you fucked at the party last night?" He asked._

_Gary finally turned to see who exactly he had just yelled at. "Oops." He said softly, turning back to Andrew and trying not to laugh._

"_There's one pair of panties you won't be seeing for awhile, Gary." Chelsea snickered from his left._

"_Eh, she wasn't that great of a lay anyways." Gary muttered; Andrew and Chelsea laughed as Alex glared at the three teens._

_--- --- ---_

"_Oops, wrong button." Alex said, trying to fix whatever he had done to the projector in the microbiology classroom._

"_That's what she said." Andrew replied cheerfully, with a smirk._

_Gary bit his lip to keep from laughing as Chelsea burst into quiet giggles. Alex glanced up, obviously biting his tongue to keep from laughing as he lowered his eyes back to the computer before him. Alex looked up after a minute and laughed softly, shaking his head._

"_You're killing me, Andrew." He chuckled._

_--- --- ---_

"_Ok, since we've established the apex predators at the higher trophic levels, what would fit at these lower levels?" Professor Birch asked the ecology class._

"_Hobbits!" Andrew called out._

_Gary tried not to laugh and choked on the water he was drinking._

"_What?" Chelsea asked incredulously between giggles as the professor sighed and shook his head._

_--- --- ---_

Gary rolled over onto his stomach, laughing into his pillow as he thought about all the stupid and sarcastic things Andrew had said in classes. Thinking about it only made him laugh harder until Anna came into the room. Gary heard her come in and could feel her standing over him yet made no move to sit up or even stop laughing until she spoke.

"Are you alright, Gary?" She inquired in confusion, unsure of what could possibly make her lover laugh so much.

He nodded, finally sitting up and sobering after a few moments of feeble self-control.

"What were you laughing about?" Anna asked when he was finally calm.

Gary gestured at the books scattered across his bed. "Stupid things from school."

Anna smiled slightly as she picked up one of the books and flipped through, pausing occasionally on certain pages.

"Someone must have been bored." She commented lazily as she examined a sketch of an eevee playing with a growlithe that took up nearly half of a page.

Gary smiled at the drawing. "That must have been evolution; I was always bored in that class."

"I can tell." She paused for a moment and Gary could tell she was considering something. "Hold on a second, I'll be right back." Gary watched her set down the notebook and hurry out of the room only to return a moment later, holding something behind her back.

Gary unceremoniously shoved the books off of the bed to let Anna lay next to him, pulling the sketch book from behind her back to show him.

"I'm not as good as you or Tracey, it was just something I did… stress relief." She muttered softly, looking mildly embarrassed.

"You can't be anywhere near as bad as May." Gary offered with a small smile.

Anna laughed. "No," She agreed, opening the book. "Just another thing I turned to when you left."

"It seems like everything went to hell for you when I left." Gary said softly, trying to sound somewhat casual but failing to cover the concern in his voice.

Anna shrugged slightly. "My best friend had moved away and was going on in his life while I was stuck here in Pallett with my life going nowhere. Basically, it _was_ hell for me."

Gary sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Anna."

"You apologize way too much for someone that most people think to be an arrogant jerk." Anna said loftily, smiling to show that she was joking. "Seriously though, don't be sorry, I'm not – I mean, it's made me who I am now and it made me realize how much I care for you. What's to be sorry about?" With that she handed the thick book to Gary for him to flip through.

Gary was mildly surprised as he gently turned the pages, not sure what he was expecting in the first place. The drawings were drastically different from his own paintings, which were vibrant and colorful, full of life. Most were sketches – black, white, and gray – many had touches of red ink, standing out vividly against the gray lead shading.

He paused at a page with many symbols in varied colors of ink and a sketch of another symbol. "Runes?"

Anna nodded. "The Elder Futhark alphabet," She pointed to the sketch. "Mjolnir – Thor's hammer." She explained.

Gary nodded, continuing to turn the pages of the book. "When did you get into Norse mythology?"

"When you forced me to listen to Therion for hours on end."

Gary laughed softly, grinning at her for a moment before turning his attention to the pages again. He paused once more on a page with a sketch of a scarred forearm, red ink forming cuts in the shape of four runes and streams of blood falling from the arm to form a pentagram of red on the ground below. He raised his eyebrows slightly. "Dare I ask?"

"I had stopped cutting myself and I missed you." Anna said as if that explained everything. Gary frowned at her, still confused, but didn't press on.

He paused after several pages of drawings of dark element pokemon, his eyes resting on a page with carefully drawn music notes, the music staves flowing across the page in an intricate wave. A small sketch of lit candles and razors was in the center of the page, forming a backdrop for dark lines of the music. Gary frowned at the notes as his eyes followed the melody. 'I know this,' He thought. 'It's in D minor," He closed his eyes for a moment, picturing the keys on the piano and trying to imagine the notes.

"Bed of Razors." He said after a moment.

Anna smiled shyly and turned her head away with a slight blush reddening her cheeks. "I should've known you'd catch that." She said softly, sounding embarrassed.

Gary lifted his gaze from the paper and peered at her quizzically. "What is it?"

Anna's blush grew deeper. "Nothing. It's stupid, really."

"No, tell me." Gary tilted his head to the side, smiling slightly at how adorable he thought Anna was acting.

"It's nothing, Gary – you'll just think it's stupid."

"Oh come on, tell me. Anna, I won't think it's stupid, just tell me." Anna looked at the floor, avoiding his eyes. "Tell me or I'll tickle you."

Anna sighed dramatically, finally looking up at him, her cheeks flaming. "I don't know. I just kind of… thought of it as… our… song, sort of." She mumbled so softly that Gary could barely hear her.

A small smile spread across his face as he looked at her with an expression she couldn't interpret. "Really?" Anna nodded miserably. "Anna… That's actually really sweet." Gary said after a moment. "That's not stupid at all, babe, that actually means a lot to me."

Still blushing, Anna kissed him sweetly, relieved by his words.

Smiling gently at her after the kiss, Gary returned to the book. Flipping through the pages he noticed several drawings incorporating the same for runes from the drawing with the blood pentagram, always in the same order, always very forward in the sketches. "These runes must be important if you use them so much." Gary observed as he paused at a page with a realistic drawing of a bleeding human heart, shaded neatly with blue, red, and purple colored pencils, black ink forming the four runes as though they were cut into the bloodied muscle.

Anna smiled and traced her finger along the drawing. "They are, to me at least. Gebo, ansuz, raido, isa." She pointed at each rune as she spoke the last four words, naming the symbols.

Gary narrowed his eyes slightly, trying to discern the significance of the symbols that were unfamiliar to him.

"Gebo, G. Ansuz, A. Raido – "

"My name?"

"Exactly."

Gary felt a sense of dawning realization wash over him as he gazed at the drawing "Why didn't you ever tell me that you felt that way about me?"

Anna sighed, taking the book from him and leaning against his chest. "You were only sixteen at the time, you weren't mature enough to handle this and I knew it."

"I'm only seventeen now, Anna." Gary pointed out.

"I know that – you matured a lot at school. I wasn't even sure that my feelings were just some crazy obsession with someone that just happened to slice themselves open when they got upset just like me. I figured you would be freaked out by it; besides, you were in Sinnoh for college – I couldn't hold you down by being your girlfriend, you needed to experiment with different things. That's what I did when I was sixteen, that's how I found out so many different things about myself."

Gary nodded vaguely at her words, speechless. He found his voice after a few moments of deep thought. "Do you still feel the same?" He asked softly.

Anna nodded. "You?"

Gary sighed, running his hands through Anna's long hair, noticing the strawberry blonde roots growing in at the base of the black strands. "I'm not really ready to think about that, Anna." He admitted.

She nodded once more. "Now you know exactly how I feel about you."

"Yeah," Gary murmured softly, his mind surprisingly numb.

--- --- ---

Gary stood on the door step to Kate's house, apprehensive and wanting to drive back home instead of going through with his plan. Sighing heavily, he rang the door bell and waited for someone to answer the door.

He was about to ring a second time when Kate opened the door, eyeing him warily.

"Hey," Gary greeted calmly, taking in her appearance as his anxiety increased.

She looked cute in gray leggings under an embroidered denim skirt and a long-sleeved black hooded shirt. The sides of her red hair were pulled back with eevee-shaped hairclips that Gary recalled giving her as a Christmas gift the year before; her purple reading glasses were carefully perched atop her head.

"Gary," She said softly, pausing for a moment as her eyes ran over his form, lingering on his arms even though he was wearing long-sleeves. "You're probably the last person I would've expected to show up."

Gary sighed softly. "I know. Can I come in? I want to talk to you."

Kate nodded and opened the door wider, stepping back for Gary to enter the relatively small house. "Let's go up to my room." She suggested, leading the way up the narrow staircase as Gary trailed behind her.

Kate's room was much smaller than any of the bedrooms at Gary's or Anna's house and Gary felt slightly claustrophobic in the small room with its pale purple walls. The room had changed little over the years that Gary had known Kate, the furniture was still the girly pine matching set that she'd had since she ten; the only changes were in the bed spread, now a mature dark purple in place of the pink comforter covered in clefairies that she had once had, and the fact that her desk now held a small white laptop instead of the ancient PC she'd had years ago. An eevee was curled up on the bed, it opened it's eyes and barked happily when it saw Gary, leaping off the bed and running to him.

Gary knelt down and scooped up the excited pokemon as Kate smiled. "I missed you, Shadow." He said playfully, glancing up at Kate before setting down the fluffy creature.

"He misses playing with Eevee." Kate explained. "I tried telling him that she evolved into Umbreon but he doesn't believe me."

Gary smiled, his anxiety slowly fading as Kate spoke softly and sweetly, acting like the quiet girl who had been one of his best friends. "I've missed you, Kate." He said softly as he sat on her bed. "I miss the way things were between us."

"Gary, things can't go back to the way they were. Too much has happened."

"Tell me what's happened."

Kate sighed, looking annoyed. "You were there, Gary! You were the one who told me we were over!"

"Kate, calm down!" Gary stood and placed his hands on her shoulders, meeting her pale blue eyes sadly. "I meant, what's happened over the past few years to get us to this point?"

Kate's eyes fell to the ground for a moment before she stepped closer to Gary, silently wrapping her arms around him. "Everything just got so out of hand." She explained, her voice shaky.

Gary sighed, not returning the hug. "That's one way of putting it." He replied.

Kate removed her arms from Gary's body and walked to her bed, sadly stroking Shadow's long ears for several moments before speaking, leaving Gary to silently stare out the window into the small backyard.

'It's amazing how much has changed,' Gary thought to himself as his eyes lingered on an old tire swing hanging from an ancient oak tree. 'It's been almost ten years since we used to play on that swing with Ash… Dad used to drive me over in the Camaro when it was still being restored… And May would go over to Michelle's house and play with her and Anna before Bella moved here. Rachael never played with the other girls; she just stayed home and played violin and piano… That was so long ago.'

"Gary, we used to be best friends – you, me, Ash – just the three of us." Gary wondered if his thoughts had been so obvious that Kate had picked up on them. "Then you stopped hanging out with us and you were so mean to us –"

'My parents got killed in a car accident, that would be why,' Gary thought.

"And you started hanging out with Anna after awhile and then everything was different between us – "

'Anna's father killed himself; she understood what I was going through,'

"Even when we all traveled together, you hung out so much with Anna, you always acted so differently when she was around."

'Anna always accepted me for who I am – whether I was being obnoxious and childish or…' Gary stopped his train of thought as Kate continued.

"I was always having to fight for you to be my friend – Gary, you were the reason I went along in the first place! I didn't even want to be a trainer anymore, I was hoping that things would be the way they were when we were kids and the three of us were going to go off on our pokemon journey together! I just wanted my best friend back! Once you started hanging out with Anna everything changed and I hated her because of it –"

"You think I don't miss the way things were, Kate? I do! But can't you see that I never can be that person again? My entire world ended when my parents died, Anna was the only one who understood – I wanted to die so badly just so I could be with them again. The only time I ever felt anything was when I was around Anna, she let me be myself; she actually listened to me when no one else would." Gary paused, gazing morosely at the red-haired girl before him.

"I would have listened, Gary." She said softly after a moment.

"But you wouldn't have understood." Gary explained with a sigh, moving forward and pulling Kate close to him in a brotherly embrace.

Kate sighed deeply, leaning against his chest and toying with a strand of Gary's hair for several long minutes. "Why did you start cutting yourself?" She asked impulsively.

Gary pulled back from her slowly, eyeing her warily before sighing and replying. His gaze dropped to the carpet as he relived the events leading to the first time he had cut himself.

--- --- ---

"_Anna?"_

"_What?" Anna looked up from her small cd player to look at her younger friend sitting near her next the campfire._

"_Why do you cut yourself?"_

_Anna sighed as Gary met her eyes calmly; for an eleven-year-old boy, he was amazingly insightful. "A lot of reasons." She said softly, looking away from Gary's gaze and staring at the fire while the other girls and her mother slept in the tents they had set up for the night._

"_What sort of reasons?" _

_Anna remained silent for several moments while staring into the flames. "Sometimes I feel like I can't feel anything anymore, like I'm completely numb and I wonder if I'm still alive or if I can feel anything at all – when I cut myself I know I'm alive because I bleed, I know I can feel because it hurts." She explained quietly, slowly; not taking her eyes off of the fire. "It comforts me."_

_Gary nodded slightly, crossing his arms tightly across his stomach and staring at the ground, Anna's words running through his head._

--- --- ---

_It was hard to believe that it was over already. It had only been four matches – even Ash had made it further. _

_Ash… The name made Gary feel ill – the energetic boy served as a painful reminder of what had once been and could no longer be._

_His brain constantly told him it was only a battle; May reminded him that he was only twelve, he had done better than most people his age; his grandfather informed him of Ash's success in making it to the top sixteen. It was his ego that told him he had done pitifully and, consequently, it was his ego and pride that was hurt the most. That was why he was hiding out in the hotel room he was sharing with Anna and May while the girls were all out getting dinner. He'd been sitting on the bed for hours, feeling completely numb from the shock of losing while his rival continued on in the competition. _

_Unsure of what he was doing, Gary slowly dug through his backpack, pulling out the pocketknife buried in the front compartment. Anna had said that it stopped her from feeling numb, showed her that she was alive. Gary wasn't sure what he wanted more: to feel or to be numb, to be alive or to be with his parents._

_Walking into the bathroom, he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, gazing at the unmarred flesh of his forearms. With a sigh, Gary flipped the light switch and stood before the sink, holding the knife in his hand and feeling absolutely nothing._

_He drew the blade swiftly across his right wrist, gasping in pain as the flesh split over his vein, staring wide-eyed at the crimson fluid that flowed over his skin and into the white porcelain of the sink. Closing his eyes and preparing himself for the sharp sting of the blade, Gary pulled the knife across his left wrist: pressing firmly and slowly moving the knife along his flesh._

_Mesmerized by the sight of his blood streaming across his white skin, Gary only vaguely felt his growing nausea and dizziness. He distantly heard the door open and close, Anna's voice calling his name uncertainly. At the sound of Anna's voice, he felt more alert and realized how much blood he had already lost. He staggered against the wall and slowly slid to the floor, blindly reaching for a towel to stop the bleeding before Anna found him as he fought to stay conscious._

_Anna's footsteps grew closer to the bathroom door as she called his name once more. She knocked softly on the door, waiting for a response. Getting no response, she pushed the door open slowly, gasping in shock as she saw the blood pooled in the sink._

"_Gary! Shit, so much blood…" She pulled down the towel Gary had been groping for and wrapped it tightly around one of his wrists before running to the room beyond for another towel that she held against the other wrist. "God, Gary... please don't pass out on me, please." She pleaded as she held down the towels against the slowing flow of blood._

--- --- ---

Remembering Anna's honesty when he had asked a similar question so many years ago, Gary raised his eyes to Kate's. "Sometimes I just feel so numb that I have to see the blood to feel alive… and then there's times when I get so angry at myself I just have to do something to get it out." He explained in a low voice.

"I don't understand." Kate gazed at him with a frown.

Gary smiled a tiny smile as he pushed a stray strand of hair away from Kate's face. "Most people don't, Anna does though and that's why we became so close."

"Did you cut yourself when we were dating?"

Gary nodded slowly. "I felt so horrible for going behind your back and doing everything with Anna. I didn't want to hurt you by breaking up with you just because you didn't kiss me the way I liked it."

"I knew you were cheating on me – Rachael told me." Kate met his eyes boldly. "She told me to get back at Anna by sleeping with you, that's why I did what I did that day you broke it off. I guess it's a good thing you couldn't get into it… it wasn't what I wanted, I was just jealous of what you had with Anna and I wanted to have that sort of relationship with you."

Gary stayed silent, never taking his eyes off of hers, glad that they were finally getting somewhere without their conversation turning into an argument over Anna. He was still troubled by what he had been told by May, Michelle, and Anna. "I heard that you were really mean to Anna after I left for school. May and Michelle said you changed a lot."

Kate swallowed and nodded her head miserably. "I just wanted to fit in with them so I started hanging out with Rachael… We became really good friends, mostly just because we didn't like Anna. Rachael was always so mean and bitter to Anna; I just kind of copied her and acted like her to keep being her friend. None of the other girls are like me, Gary; they're all so pretty and popular, they all have so many talents and all I do is read and feel left out – "

"What do you mean 'they all have so many talents'? You're just as good as they are, Kate."

"How, Gary? Rachael's so good with music, Bella's so good at cooking and dancing and guys are always drooling over her, May's so pretty and sweet and independent and on top of that she's good with music too. Even Anna's good at music and drawing and… she's funny and crazy and people want to be friends with her. They're all so popular."

Gary sighed heavily. "Being popular is really overrated, Kate. Trust me on that." Kate nodded, keeping her eyes on the pale carpet underfoot. "Let's not get off track. What happened to the Kate I knew?"

"I just got so caught up in everything with Rachael that I didn't even realize how horrible I was being and then you came home and I was so happy because you were acting like my best friend again so I tried being myself and I had such a hard time doing it because I was so used to being a certain way around Rachael. I don't know what I was thinking on Halloween, Rachael and her friends just kept talking about Anna and kept saying that I should do something. I didn't mean for it to get out of hand – I really didn't mean for everything to happen at Anna's house last week, the day that May was there and you came over because Anna was so upset. I couldn't believe Rachael would be like that… I haven't even talked to her since that day." She met Gary's eyes timidly, having nothing else to say.

Gary mulled over her words silently, thinking of all the times they had sat under the tree in his backyard reading and talking together, neither one ever knowing what their friend was really thinking.

--- --- ---

"_Kate, you're such a nerd – _Harry Potter_ – honestly!"_

"_Hey! You're the one reading _The Lord of The Rings_!"_

"_Admit it, I have better taste_."

--- --- ---

"_Haven't you already read_ Jurassic Park_ , Gary?"_

"_Three times."_

"_So why are you reading it again?"_

"_The same reason I've read _Ender's Game_ five times – it's a good book."_

_--- --- ---_

"Wuthering Heights_? You're as bad as May!"_

"_You're the one reading about a giant extinct shark."_

"_Giant extinct sharks are awesome; I don't care what you say."_

_--- --- ---_

"_Is _Rime of the Ancient Mariner_ a good poem?"_

"_Yeah, but the song's better."_

"_What song?"_

"_The thirteen-and-a-half-minute-long Iron Maiden epic! Honestly, Kate…"_

--- --- ---

"I believe you." Gary finally said, pulling himself out of the memories circulating his mind. "Kate, you've always been like a little sister to me, I don't want our friendship to be hurt by what happens between me and Anna. Can we put this behind us and be friends as if nothing ever happened or are we through?"

Kate looked at Gary pensively for a moment before speaking slowly. "Are you happy with Anna?"

Gary nodded. "I care a lot for her, Kate, more than I've cared about anyone else."

Kate exhaled slowly. "If she makes you happy then I can deal with it – I might not like it but I value the friendship we had."

Gary grinned and pulled her against him in a tight hug that she happily returned. They stood there for several minutes, happy just to have resolved their issues and to know that their friendship still stood a chance.

"You know you're going to have to apologize to Anna though, right?" Gary spoke up.

Kate sighed against him. "Yeah, I know." She looked up at him. "Should we go do that now? Maybe bring over a pizza as a peace offering?"

Gary laughed softly. "That's going to be a lot of pizza, with how many people are living at my house now. Come on, I'll drive."

"Not that you have much of a choice, considering I don't have a car."

--- --- ---

Anna's eyebrows rose dramatically when Gary and Kate walked into the living room. Kate watched Gary nervously as he walked over to his girlfriend and kissed her cheek. "Kate needs to talk to you." He informed her quietly. "I'd really appreciate it if it didn't turn into a fight."

Anna glared at Kate before coolly meeting Gary's eyes. "I'm not promising anything." She replied flatly.

"For me, Anna?" Gary asked softly.

Anna sighed and reluctantly agreed, standing and following Kate and Gary into the sitting room where Umbreon was curled on the couch.

"I'm going to leave you two alone so you can talk. Be nice, I'm leaving Umbreon to referee." Gary turned and left the room, heading towards the kitchen where May and Tracey were already eating the pizza he had picked up with Kate before heading over.

"So, I take it she listened?" May asked her brother as she watched him carefully picking cheese off of a slice of pizza.

"Obviously."

"It didn't lead to a fight, did it?" Tracey asked with a small smile.

"No."

"See, Gary, don't I always have the best advice." May spoke up with a smug smile that was irritatingly similar to the ones that Gary so often wore.

"Hey, it was my idea first!" Tracey laughed as May rolled her eyes at him before he turned his attention back to Gary. "How do you feel now?"

Gary paused before answering, gazing out the window as he thought briefly. "Pretty good actually." He finally admitted.

"Talking is a good thing, Gary. How do you think I manage to stay sane with a little brother like you? Friends like Bella and Michelle."

"Yeah, yeah, I love you too, May."

Tracey laughed at the two siblings as May playfully flung a paper plate at Gary, only to have a handful of napkins thrown in her face.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Kate's eevee Shadow is in memory of my two doberman pinschers Chip and Shadow who were put down two years ago today. RIP my puppies.

Arch-Trainer – That's awesome that you listened to Nightwish, I hope you like Epica; they're two of my favorite bands, I actually listen to them a lot when I write. I didn't expect my fic to cause someone to look up some of the bands mentioned, it's pretty cool though.

ForeverBlue90 – Thank you so much for calling this fic "seriously good"! It really means a lot to have someone refer to my work as that.


	22. Chapter 22: Apologies

**Beyond The Walls**

::NOTE – Sorry for taking so long with this chapter, having five papers to write plus two exams in one week _really_ makes it hard to write stories! Enjoy!::

Chapter 22: Apologies

"You didn't tell me you were going over to Kate's yesterday."

Gary calmly met Anna's eyes through the bathroom mirror he was standing in front of as he turned off the water in the sink. "I didn't want an argument." He replied simply.

Anna snorted softly "You went over to Kate's because you didn't want an argument?" She asked in disbelief.

"I went over to Kate's because I wanted to sort out the mess we got into, Anna. Like it or not, being with you did screw up two friendships and I was trying to make things right." Gary turned slowly to face her, leaning against the counter and took her hands in his. Anna's eyes narrowed slightly. "Don't be mad at me. You know it's true, Kate told you everything yesterday. I told you last night everything that happened when I went over there."

Anna pulled her hands from his grasp and turned sharply, walking towards the door. Gary sighed and pushed himself away from the counter, following her into the hall.

"Come on, Anna, we just talked. Do you honestly think I would mess around with her? I already tried that once, in case you've forgotten."

Anna walked into her bedroom and closed the door in Gary's face. "This is why I didn't tell you before I went over there yesterday, Anna." Gary called calmly through the door as he heard the click of the lock. "I don't know why you're over-reacting; I've chosen you over her how many times? You know how I feel about you; you know that what I have with Kate is nothing like what we have. Can you please open the door?"

Gary heard the Anna's stereo turn on and suppressed a groan as he felt his temper flare. "Fine, if you want to sit in there being jealous over _absolutely fucking nothing_, then by all means, go ahead! I could understand when you were jealous over Tracey because there was actually a chance at something but you know damn well that there's nothing like that between Kate and I!" Anna turned up the music louder and Gary knew she was trying to drive him away from the door.

Gary sighed in resignation and turned away from the closed door. Walking back into his room, he had to force himself not to slam the door behind him. He knew the best thing to do was to just wait until Anna calmed down a bit and let the argument blow over, but sitting back and letting things happen wasn't something Gary was particularly fond of. Groaning softly, he dropped into the chair at his desk and opened his laptop to see if Andrew was online. Seeing that he was Gary quickly sent him a message, laughing softly at the away message that came up in response.

'Trying not to blow up Dr. Harris' lab – if I'm not back in 6 hours you might wanna check the news to see if there's been any mysterious explosions at the physical sciences building.'

With a sigh Gary quickly checked for Chris or Chelsea, neither was on but Alex was. Remembering what Alex had told him before he left to go back to Sinnoh, Gary sent him a message asking if he was busy and waited impatiently for the reply.

'Not at all – why?'

'Are you at your office?'

'No – home'

'You left Andrew alone in the lab?!'

'Chris is there.'

'Oh – hold on'

Gary stood and walked into the study at the end of the hall and dialed Alex's number on the phone. He answered after the second ring, smiling when he saw Gary on the screen.

"I figured it would be you." He said happily. "What's up?" He asked as an afterthought, noticing how unhappy Gary looked.

"I got in a fight with Anna." Gary replied with a sigh.

"Ah. Out of curiosity, are you calling me for advice or because you actually want to talk about it?"

"Talk. I know that once Anna calms down it'll all blow over."

"Oh, so you decided to listen for once and actually talk to someone about something that's bothering you." His words were mild and playful but that knowing smile that curved his thin lips annoyed Gary to no end.

Gary rolled his eyes. "Yeah, shocking, I know." He replied sarcastically.

"Oh don't be like that – you know I'm just messing with you. So what was this fight about? Nothing too serious I hope."

"You heard about the fight that Anna got in with her sister and Kate on Halloween, right?" Alex nodded. "Well, yesterday I went over to Kate's to talk to her about everything that's been going on the past few months between us and to just sort out everything. I didn't tell Anna before I went over there because I didn't want to cause an argument but in the end it still did."

"How did Anna find out that you went over there?" Alex asked.

"I came home with Kate so she could apologize to Anna."

"So I take it you and Kate made up?"

"Yeah. Doesn't do much if Anna stays mad though; but she knows that I didn't do anything other than talk with Kate, so I don't know what her problem is. I mean, I understood when she got jealous of Tracey but…" He rambled slightly, his voice trailing off.

"Jealous of Tracey?" Alex echoed.

Gary realized what he had just said and felt his eyes widen in horror as he tried to find an excuse to pass it off.

"Something you're not telling me here, Gary?" Alex asked with an inquisitive smile, Gary remained silent. "Another secret. Maybe I should just ask your grandfather –"

"No!"

Alex raised an eyebrow at the sudden response before grinning. "Are you sure? It wouldn't be hard for me to just give him a quick ring –"

"No, Alex, please!"

"Well, then just tell me!" Alex leaned back in his seat and fixed Gary with an even gaze.

Gary groaned and covered his face. "God, why did I have to say that? I'm such an idiot." He moaned.

"You're not an idiot, Gary. You just do stupid things on occasion – like all teenagers." Alex's expression softened as he eyed Gary quizzically. "Seriously, just tell me." He sighed at Gary's lack of response. "What could possibly make Anna jealous, Gary? It's not like you and Tracey would…" He paused, studying Gary as he dropped his hands from his face to glare stubbornly at him, realization starting to dawn on him. "You know, you and Andrew used to joke around a lot together… In ways that most male friends – straight male friends – don't." Gary visibly tensed at Alex's words. "Do I have to guess or are you just going to tell me?" Sighing again as Gary remained silent, he shook his head slightly with an amused smile. "So, were the two of you dating?"

Gary finally sighed and responded to Alex's questioning. "Not exactly."

"You and Tracey or you and Andrew?"

"Both." Gary said, sounding resigned and annoyed.

Alex regarded him with a strange expression for a moment before shrugging. "Oh, ok." He paused. "Um… have you ever…" He struggled for a word while Gary shook his head quickly.

"No and I am changing the subject now. Back to what we were talking about before I decided to be an idiot and let it slip that I screwed around with Tracey – and, subsequently, Andrew – Anna is mad at me because I talked to Kate."

"Well I can see how much this conversation is doing to soothe your nerves." Alex replied cheerfully before turning serious. "Anna probably just feels kind of betrayed because you went behind her back to talk to Kate, especially because of all the drama between those two."

"I guess."

"Hey, you said yourself that it'll blow over. Just give her some time and then apologize for going behind her back – and for anything you said in the argument. Make it up to her." Alex suggested, flashing Gary a reassuring smile.

Gary sighed, picking at the sleeve of his shirt, thinking about the sketch book that Anna had shown him a few days before. He hadn't talked to anyone about it.

Alex tilted his head to the side, dropping his smile as he watched Gary. "Is that all that's bothering you?" Gary shrugged slightly in response. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"If it were nothing then it wouldn't be bothering you, and don't try saying it's not bothering you – I know you too well to fall for that. Come on; would you rather talk to Andrew?"

Gary frowned. "Andrew wouldn't understand." He replied softly.

"Well, that's a rarity – usually he can understand anything going on with you. Is there more going on with Anna or is it something else?"

"You're not going to drop it, are you?" Gary asked wearily, rubbing his temples.

"Not until you stop being stubborn."

"Fine! Anna pretty much told me that she loves me and I don't know how I feel about it! Are you happy now?"

Alex looked surprised at Gary's harshly-spoken words for a moment before nodding and thinking deeply. "Well, that certainly threw you through a loop, I'm sure." He sighed and paused. "I think you're probably just over-thinking it; you do have a habit of doing that, you know." He pressed on, ignoring Gary's glare. "You're just too afraid of not being in control and let yourself go."

Gary sighed dejectedly. "I'm only seventeen, Alex – "

"Yeah, and your parents were already engaged and screwing like rodents in the –"

"I don't want to hear it!" Gary exclaimed, covering his ears while Alex laughed at his torment. Down the hall a door opened and another closed a moment later, followed by the sound of a guitar after another moment. Gary glanced up at the sound, dropping his hands back to his lap. "I should go talk to Anna." He said softly.

Alex nodded. "I should probably head over to the school and check on Andrew and Chris, you know, make sure no one's dead."

"Thanks for talking to me."

"No problem, Gary. Good luck with Anna; don't think too much about it, just let the relationship go on its own and go with it. Worrying about it only screws things up. Now go talk to your girlfriend."

Gary said goodbye and hung up the phone, hesitating in the room for a moment while Anna played down the hall before sighing heavily and walking to the door. He didn't particularly want to go speak with Anna while she was still annoyed with him but knew he had to.

He opened the door to the music room slowly, eyes immediately seeking out Anna. She was on the couch, slumped against the back cushions with her blood red LTD guitar over her stomach as her fingers traced over the neck of the instrument. She would be pretty in her black corduroy jeans and blue long-sleeved shirt with her green-streaked hair flowing over her shoulders if it weren't for the dirty look she shot at her boyfriend as he entered the room. Gary began walking towards her, intending on apologizing when Anna turned the volume of her guitar louder as she began playing once more.

Gary sighed, recognizing her challenge and turning towards the wall, picking out one of his own guitars and plugging it up to an amp. Gary knew she was testing him, trying to drive him away or piss him off – he wasn't sure which. Either way, she was playing the lead part – something he usually played while she played rhythm – and on top of that, it was by a band he truly didn't like. Judging by the bold gleam in her hazel eyes, she was daring Gary to try playing something over her in defiance – which, granted, was something he would normally do. Turning down her challenge, Gary solemnly met her eyes as he perched on the arm of the couch and played the rhythm under her lead.

Anna looked surprised at his action, knowing how much he hated the repetitive style of playing that didn't involve showing off. When the song was over, she reached over and flipped off her amp while Gary set down his instrument and sat down next to her.

"You hate Metallica." Anna said, the harshness in her eyes softening as Gary met her eyes.

"I don't hate you." Gary replied simply.

"You hate playing rhythm." Anna continued.

"I don't hate playing with you." He added. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was going over to Kate's yesterday. I should have told you, especially after everything that happened between the two of you. The thing is though, Anna, she was one of my best friends before we started hanging out as kids, she's been like a little sister to me for the longest time – I couldn't just let go of that friendship. You don't know Kate as well as I do; I believed everyone when they said that she acted the way she did but I knew that something had to be off because that's just not Kate. I had to find out what it was that was going on with her, I wanted to hear it from her because I care about her, whether you like it or not." Gary sighed as her expression hardened slightly; he reached out and began toying with a lock of her hair. "I know you don't like hearing it, Anna, but you need to hear it. I don't care for her the same way I care for you, like I said, she's like a little sister to me. You're so much more than that, I can't explain what it is and I don't know what it is, Anna, I'm not entirely ready to even face it yet either but I need you to understand that."

Anna hung her head but not before Gary caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes. "Do you at least understand why I was so upset over you not telling me?" She asked softly, her voice full of emotion.

Gary sighed again, reaching out and pulling her against him, tilting her chin upwards to force her to look at him. "Yes, I do and I'm sorry. You know I wouldn't purposely hurt you." He leaned forward and kissed her gently.

"Hey, come on you two, can't you give it a rest?"

Gary turned to see Tracey standing in the doorway. "Can't you go away?" He asked with a grin as he slid his hands along Anna's back.

Michelle and May appeared behind Tracey, Michelle holding a soccer ball. "We need another person, Gary." She said with a sing-song voice and a sly smile, tossing the ball in the air and catching it easily.

Gary shook his head and turned back to Anna.

"Oh, come on! You two can make out anytime!" May called from the doorway. "Don't make me drag you, Gary."

Anna smiled as he pulled away rolling his eyes. "Go play with them; I can watch you get all sweaty running around with them and then," Her voice dropped as she ran a finger down his chest. "we can come back up here and have some _real_ fun."

Gary quirked an eyebrow slightly. "Promise?" He asked with a small smirk.

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

Sighing slightly, Gary stood and brushed past the three teens in the doorway to change.

"We'll meet you outside!" May called after him as he walked into his bedroom.

--- --- ---

Tracey looked up when he heard the back door open and close behind where he was sitting on the porch with May and Michelle. Gary smirked down at him as Tracey met his eyes, wondering why in the world it took him nearly fifteen minutes to just change his shirt, pull on a pair of sneakers and tie back his hair. He rolled his eyes when he saw Anna appear at his side, having an idea as to the reasoning behind the delay. May turned and eyed her brother with a smirk to match Gary's, shaking her head slightly.

"Took you long enough." Michelle drawled, tossing the soccer ball to Gary.

"Stop complaining; I'm down here, aren't I?" Gary tossed the ball back as Tracey stood and walked with May to the grass.

"So," Michelle began, grinning at Gary. "Should we gang up on them and kick their asses?"

"Tempting, but I think that would be a bit cruel. Besides, I'd rather kick your ass – you're more of a challenge than May." Gary replied, watching Michelle stand and dropkick the ball to May and Tracey, laughing as Tracey dodged it.

"You and May versus Tracey and I?" Michelle leapt off of the porch and began walking backwards towards May and Tracey, making sure Gary was following her and not sitting with Anna.

Gary followed, heading towards his sister as she and Tracey headed towards the two trees they used as boundaries for the playing area. Anna perched herself on the porch railing, her feet hanging several feet over the ground as she watched.

"You ready, pussy?" May called to Gary as he strode across the lawn.

Gary smiled and spread his arms to his sides. "Whenever you are, bitch!" He called back, hearing Anna and Tracey laugh at the exchange.

"Remember you two are on the same team!" Anna reminded them from her place on the porch.

After only a few minutes of playing, Tracey was glad that playing soccer with Michelle and the girls as well as working with the pokemon at the lab had whipped him into better shape since he had arrived at the lab. Despite being on a team with an athletic young woman who had played soccer since childhood, the game was challenging as Gary was much more fit than he was from running nearly every day and May was quite good at soccer herself from playing with Michelle. Tracey was proud to notice that he was faster than Gary, though this only made a difference when he only needed to run a short distance since Gary could easily run a far longer distance than he could.

Tracey was jogging up the field with the ball, heading towards the square area outlined with rocks marking the goal that May was supposed to be defending, knowing it was only a matter of time before either Gary or May swooped in from the side to steal the ball. Suddenly he felt something slam into his lower legs as he fell backwards, narrowly missing landing on Gary's legs as he bounced back to his feet and took off with the ball, stopping several yards away as Tracey climbed to his feet.

Gary stood facing Tracey with the ball in front of him, his foot resting lightly on it.

"Dammit, Gary, I'm going to get you for that!" Tracey called to him.

Gary raised his hand and beckoned Tracey forward with a grin. "Come get me!" He called back, watching as Tracey walked forward until he was only about ten feet away while Michelle and May stood several yards away to either side, ready to spring into action.

Tracey watched Gary move into position to take off running again, feinting to one side but Tracey held his ground, grinning mischievously at Gary as he saw Michelle slowly inching forward off to his left. Tracey feinted to the right, laughing when Gary came dangerously close to falling for the feint.

"Don't get too cocky, Tracey." Gary warned, backing away from the ball until he was a few feet away, intently watching Tracey the whole time.

Seeing May and Michelle closing in on either side, Tracey dove towards the ball, seeing Gary do the same out of the corner of his eye. He put on a burst of speed to get the ball past May as Gary closed in behind him, hoping to avoid another one of Gary's slide tackles – he had underestimated how competitive his crush was. Knowing May and Gary were closing in on either side behind him, Tracey kicked the ball to Michelle and watched Gary change directions to catch up with her.

May stopped beside him, leaning over with her hands on her knees and breathing heavily. "Competitive little brat, isn't he?" She gasped, watching Michelle and Gary pushing and shoving each other in the distance.

Tracey saw Michelle kick the ball to get it away from Gary and saw the ball speed away from them, towards the lake at the edge of the yard.

Gary laughed. "You can go get that." He told Michelle, earning a glare and a shove in response as he turned and began walking over to May and Tracey. Wiping sweat off of his forehead with his arm, he spied Anna grinning at him from the porch. He returned the grin and changed his direction to walk closer to the porch, pulling his t-shirt off as he went. As he got closer to the porch, he tossed the sweaty shirt at Anna, laughing as she squealed and tossed the shirt onto the wooden floor of the porch.

"Ew, it's all sweaty!" She complained.

Gary began walking backwards towards Tracey and May. "You're the one that told me to play!" He reminded her, turning back in time to see Michelle returning with the retrieved ball, her long-sleeved pink athletic shirt tied around her waist over her matching track shorts, revealing a purple sports bra.

"Looking sexy, Gary!" May called as he approached her, giggling at her brother when he shook he head and rolled his eyes, pushing Tracey out of his way with a grin.

Michelle drop-kicked the ball, sending it sailing towards the three teens. May ran to intercept it, hearing her brother and Tracey run to keep up with her, seeing Michelle take off running to catch up to her from another angle to steal the ball. She glanced to her left, seeing Tracey pause to catch his breath and take off his shirt as Gary slowed, letting her deal with Michelle on her own. Realizing that Michelle was quickly closing in and that she couldn't outrun her friend, May quickly turned with the ball, calling to Gary as she passed it.

Gary stopped the ball with his foot, raising his eyebrows at Tracey, daring him to steal the ball. Tracey tossed his shirt on the ground and quickly ran to Gary as Michelle jogged across the lawn towards them with May. Tracey caught up with Gary, trying to kick the ball away from him as Gary pushed him away with a competitive grin.

Michelle put on a burst of speed and ran to the two boys, pushing Gary out of the way as she stole the ball and headed back in the direction she came as Gary and Tracey hurried to catch up to her. Tracey managed to keep up with Gary and anticipated the younger boy's next move, grabbing Gary's arm as he pushed him, causing Gary to tumble to the ground, caught in Tracey's fall. Tracey landed heavily with Gary on top of him with a surprised expression.

"Well, this is an interesting position." Gary commented, smirking down at Tracey as he kneeled over him, not making any move to get off of him.

Gazing up at Gary with his hair falling out of his hair tie, his bare chest slicked with sweat, and his gorgeous eyes bright with energy, Tracey could feel himself becoming aroused, despite his attempts to push erotic thoughts from his head. Gary noticed and grinned with a low chuckle as he finally stood, pulling the elastic band from his hair and shaking his head so that the auburn strands danced as they fell in a dark sheet down his back. Eyeing Gary's backside as he added a slight sway to his walk for Tracey's – and most likely Anna's – benefit, Tracey cursed him under his breath, knowing that Gary was purposely teasing him.

Tracey sighed and stood as he heard May let out a triumphant whoop of joy at the other side of the playing area. Looking over, he saw May doing her dorky victory dance while Gary shook his head, tying back his hair once more while Michelle ran to retrieve the ball once more.

May was still dancing when the ball came sailing back to the playing area, followed by Michelle as she called to her friend. "Game's not over yet, whore!" May and Gary both turned and ran for the ball as Michelle raced to catch up.

The game continued for nearly a half hour filled with pushing and shoving, laughing and yelling as they fought for the ball and chased each other across the yard. Tracey had managed to score a goal against the two Oak siblings with a lucky shot. "Ha! Take that, Gary!" He yelled to his friend while May ran for the ball before it went into the forest.

"Screw you, Trace!" Gary called back, trying to cover his light tone with mock anger.

Tracey smirked, trying to mimic Gary's sexily arrogant expression, as he raised his middle finger at Gary. Gary responded by sticking his tongue out at him, the piercing glimmering in the afternoon sun.

Gary eventually scored a goal against Tracey and Michelle after scuffling with Michelle for nearly ten minutes of perpetual running and elbowing. He walked towards the porch with a haughty smirk, looking unbelievably handsome while he approached Anna as Michelle retrieved the ball again before it rolled into the pool beyond the grassy area. Michelle tossed the ball to Tracey before running up behind Gary and jumping on his back, knocking him to the ground and wrestling with him for several minutes while Tracey, May, and Anna laughed.

Michelle pinned Gary to the ground and kneeled over him before grinning up at Anna who was still perched on the porch railing. "Sorry, Anna, Gary just looked so hot that I couldn't keep my hands off of him!"

Anna giggled, leaping down to the ground. "You can touch him all you want as long as you're willing to share." She said with a smirk to match one of Gary's.

'I swear those two are perfect for each other.' Tracey thought as he watched Anna run a hand along Michelle's bare back before leaning in and kissing the girl, obviously just to tease Gary.

"Hey, aren't you two forgetting someone?" Gary asked as he sat up, leaning towards the two girls, only to be pushed back to the ground by Michelle as they pulled apart laughing.

"Of course we didn't forget about you, Gary." Michelle replied with a smile.

"We just don't care about you." Anna finished before blowing Gary a kiss as Michelle stood and grinned at Tracey and May.

Anna returned to the porch to sit on the step while Tracey approached Gary. "Payback's a bitch when you're a teasing pain in the ass, isn't it?" He asked with a sardonic grin.

He noticed the mischievous gleam in Gary's eyes as the boy smirked. "Isn't that what you want me to be though?" He asked silkily, running a hand down Tracey's back to stop at the waist of his shorts. "A pain in the ass, right?" He murmured in Tracey's ear, sliding his hand down the back of Tracey's shorts.

Tracey swatted Gary's hand away, thinking to himself how happy he would be when Andrew returned for Gary's birthday next month, only a few weeks away now. "All that teasing is going to get you in trouble with your girlfriend if you keep it up." Tracey warned airily.

Gary grinned at him. "No, it won't." He replied and turned back to the porch, walking to Anna and sliding his arms around her waist and kissing her as she squealed and squirmed, complaining that he was getting her clothes sweaty. "You promised something." Gary reminded her in a sing-song voice.

"Yeah, but I think you need a shower first. Don't want to get those nice expensive sheets all sweaty, now do we?" Anna asked teasingly as Gary pressed kisses against her neck.

"As if we haven't made a mess of them before." Gary murmured against her throat.

"You have something better in mind?" Anna asked mockingly.

"Actually I do."

"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow as Gary nipped at her throat.

He nodded slightly. "How about here on the porch?"

Anna slapped his shoulder lightly. "Because that would be real discreet," she said sarcastically.

"I'm serious. Go upstairs on put on that black skirt of yours. The really lacey full one?"

Anna groaned softly at the thought, glaring up at Gary for a moment before a curious smile spread across her lips. She nodded finally. "I'll be right back." She whispered in Gary's ear before leaving him on the porch as she hurried inside.

Gary stood on the porch and watched her go, mildly surprised that she was actually going with – he had originally meant it as a joke, but he wasn't about to argue if she decided to do it.

"We're going to go shower and change, Gary." May's voice sounded from behind him. "I think we're going to meet up with Bella and go get a late lunch. Want to come with us?"

Gary nodded absently. "I'll be inside in a little bit, I'm just going to hang out outside for awhile."

May frowned suspiciously at him for a moment before shrugging and going inside with Michelle and Tracey. Tracey shot a backwards glance at Gary as he gazed across the lawn, apparently deep in thought.

--- --- ---

Anna stood in her room eyeing the black knee-length skirt that her mother had gotten her several months before, saying that all young women needed at least one nice skirt. She had worn it once, just to show Gary how it looked. She laughed softly, imagining her mother's face if she knew what Anna was doing in the skirt. Sighing slightly, she slipped her panties off and pushed them underneath her black cords that were now resting on top of her dresser.

Smiling, she turned and left the room, heading towards the stairs. She found Gary still on the porch, leaning against the railing and gazing at the sky, watching the clouds float by overhead, completely lost in his thoughts and detached from the world around him. He came back to himself and smiled serenely at her as she shut the back door behind her. She walked towards him, putting an extra sway in her walk, causing the skirt to flow sensually around her knees.

Gary cupped her face gently in his hands as he lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers. "You look beautiful." He whispered, pulling away and grasping her hands in his, gently leading her down the steps of the porch.

"I thought you said on the porch?" Anna said as he led her across the grass to the pool area.

He gave her a small cryptic smile as he walked across the concrete patio to a plastic lounge chair, adjusting the back so that it was in an up-right position before he sat on it, pulling Anna into his lap and sliding his hands up her legs while kissing her softly. She slowly undid his jeans, pushing them down his waist slightly before straddling him, adjusting the skirt so that it covered them completely. They kissed languidly for several moments before Anna positioned herself over him, allowing Gary to slide in as he nuzzled her throat.

They moved slowly together, kissing occasionally as they caressed and held each other's gazes. Anna sighed softly, closing her eyes as she felt herself clench around him after several long moments. Tilting her head back in pleasure, she heard Gary's soft voice and felt his hand gently move her head to face him. "Open your eyes, Anna." She had never heard his voice so gentle and it sent shivers through her. She met his eyes serenely and was surprised to see them that light shade of blue that they turned whenever he suddenly became serious. "I really… love… being with you." He whispered, his eyes wide as she smiled at him, knowing how hard it had to have been for him to say that.

Anna pressed herself against his chest, kissing Gary deeply, sighing softly as she gently scraped her nails across his back and felt him shudder. His arms tightened around her as he leaned his head against her shoulder, pushing aside the shirt and kissing the pale curve of flesh. Sighing deeply as she felt her muscles spasm around him, Anna heard Gary groan softly, burying his face against her shoulder as he climaxed inside her. He pulled away after a moment, gazing at her with a small smile, all traces of his arrogance completely gone. She returned the gentle gaze for a moment before letting him slide out of her.

Leaning against his chest and closing her eyes, Anna heard Gary speak after several silent moments. "I'm sorry about this morning."

Anna pulled back so that she could see his face. "It's ok. I know you didn't mean to cause a fight." She assured Gary before smirking. "Though, I have to admit, I'm not entirely sorry about today's course of events."

Gary laughed and then shivered slightly. "It's pretty chilly out here when you're not running around, I think we should go in and get cleaned up."

Anna nodded and climbed off of him, watching him adjust his jeans before taking her hand and walking back to the house with her, retrieving his shirt from the porch on the way.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Yet another steamy scene between Gary and Anna, though this one was quite different from the others for obvious reasons. I'm hoping to cut down on the sex scenes to be honest. And no, Michelle is not bisexual and no, there won't be any lesbian sex scenes (unless Gary gets a sex change, which actually is an interesting idea); Anna and Michelle were just tormenting Gary.

The song Anna and Gary play together is Escape by Metallica. Playing the rhythm guitar to a song by a band that Gary doesn't like I think shows Anna that he's willing to put aside his pride for her and it's a form of apology for him. Also, I kind of quoted the same song in chapter 19 when Gary is thinking about Rachael and comparing her to Anna: "_Rachael wanted to fit in; Anna wanted to be free to live life her own way._" Part of the lyrics to Escape are "Life is for my own to live my own way." Anyway, I planned this scene but didn't know what song to use until my father randomly started playing the Ride The Lightning album on the stereo and I remembered that Escape was once my favorite song and when I read the lyrics again, I realized that it was a perfect song for Anna's character and that I had accidentally quoted it. As a side note, Metallica was once my favorite band but I stopped listening to them for the most part about four years ago – once you go European you don't go back (when it comes to metal at least, lol).

I have to admit, the soccer scene was more or less just me practicing an action scene and me wanting desperately to play my absolute favorite sport – which I unfortunately can't play due to two injured knees and being quite out of shape. And besides, who can pass up the image of Gary all sweaty with no shirt on? Honestly. :p

Oh yeah, I do have a plan for Tracey – he's not going to be forced to lust after Gary for the rest of his life (a teensy bit of foreshadowing of that fact in this chapter).

I'm going to stop rambling now!

MusicallyYours – thanks so much for your review! I have to admit, this story actually started as practice before I start work on a novel that I'll eventually try to get published. Anyway, thank you!


	23. Chapter 23: Busy

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 23: Busy

Tracey found himself constantly busy over the next few weeks as Professor Oak and May planned for Gary's surprise birthday party, as Tracey helped Professor Oak and Dr. Harris, via telephone, prepare for the large research project the two researchers were planning, and on top of that –trying to keep Gary from finding out everything that was going on and trying to maintain his sanity. He had seen less of Gary than usual as of late and was never sure where to find him these days as he was constantly doing different things each day, seemingly strangely energized and enthusiastic as his relationship with Anna grew from two angst-ridden teenage friends who happened to care deeply for each other into two carefree young adults, caring deeply – perhaps even loving – each other as they enjoyed their remaining days as teenagers before embracing adulthood.

Tracey had enjoyed watching their relationship change, liking the way he could walk into a room to find them playfully bickering, wrestling on the floor while laughing, or just lounging around the house together lazily. He was reminded of the first weeks that Gary had been home, when he had watched the younger teen from a distance, learning about him before they became friends. Tracey was so busy that he hardly got to hang out with Gary or any of the girls and was forced once more to watch everything from a distance, interacting only minimally.

--- --- ---

He'd heard girlish laughter contrasting with the deep melody coming from Gary's cello followed by Kate's cheerful exclamation.

"Gary, you are _such_ a nerd!"

"You're one to speak, little Miss I-can't-go-anywhere-without-a-book."

"Be nice, Anna." Came Gary's soft voice with a surprising warning tone, the edge in his voice softened when he spoke again, louder and more cheerful with a teasing lilt. "Here – just for you, babe."

Peeking into the room, Tracey saw Gary begin playing fast and heavy melody on the cello. Anna was laying on the floor near the piano bench where Gary was playing, resting her head against Arcanine while Kate was sitting cross-legged on Gary's desk chair.

Anna cheered and sat up, singing loudly and off-key. "Master of puppets, I'm pulling your strings, twisting your mind and smashing your dreams!"

Kate laughed and leaned forward, joining Anna. "Blinded by me, you can't see a thing!"

Gary groaned loudly, wincing as he looked up to see Tracey in the doorway while the girls sang together. "Just call my name 'cause I'll hear you scream – "

"I hate to break it you two, but you sound awful!" Tracey yelled over their singing and the cello.

Gary burst into laughter and leaned forward so that his forehead was resting against the neck of the instrument before him, his hair falling over his face as he stopped playing. "You two are awful!" He exclaimed.

Tracey shook his head. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go check my ears, I think they're bleeding." He said, trying not to laugh as he turned and left to head back down to the lab, hearing Gary laugh even louder as he went.

--- --- ---

Tracey listened as a swift and complex melody came from the living room followed by a loud curse before the intro to a song playing the same melody played on the stereo, pausing after the melody passed. May walked into the kitchen where Tracey was fixing a sandwich for lunch while taking a break from the lab, shaking her head and sighing as Anna pulled a bag of popcorn from the microwave.

"God, that's annoying." May said flatly, walking past Tracey and Anna to pull a drink out of the refrigerator.

"I think it's actually kind of amusing; Gary gets so annoyed whenever he messes up." Anna grinned, holding up her popcorn. "That's what this is for."

"Sadist." Tracey teased through a mouthful of food.

May groaned as the song began playing on the stereo once more. "Hey, maestro! Take it upstairs!" She yelled. "That way you can use your headphones." She added under her breath.

"Oh man, there goes my entertainment for the day." Anna complained with a pout as Gary walked in scowling a moment later.

--- --- ---

Tracey was exhausted as he dragged himself back to his room one night after a long day of typing files and performing physicals on pokemon. Walking past Anna's room, he saw her standing at her window and practicing her bass. Walking further down the hall, he noticed Gary in the music room out of the corner of his eye. Turning and leaning against the doorjamb, he watched Gary stand before the wall of guitars with his arms crossed, head tilted to the side as he gazed contemplatively at the instruments.

"Can't decide what to play?" Tracey asked.

Gary shook his head distractedly and walked to the wall, pulling down a dark green guitar. "Grandpa been keeping you locked in the lab or something lately?" He asked off-handedly as he removed the black strap from the guitar and tossed it on the couch.

Tracey smiled wanly. "We've been busy," He explained. "Preparing for a new research project that we're starting in January."

Gary sighed softly. "Nice of him to let me know about a new project – you guys wouldn't be so damn busy if he'd let me actually help out."

"It's just boring stuff right now: inventory, finding pokemon specimens to use, finding people to be on the research team, finishing the old projects."

Gary nodded agitatedly as he rummaged through a drawer in the chest near the couch, pulling out a piece of paper before returning to the couch where the guitar was currently laying. "Dare I ask what this project is? Or are you not allowed to tell me because my grandfather thinks I'll get pissed off and throw a temper tantrum over not being on the team?"

Tracey sighed and raked a hand through his hair, realizing that he shouldn't have mentioned the upcoming research project considering it was supposed to be a surprise, especially considering who the professor and Dr. Harris were planning on including in the research team. "Please don't put me in this situation, Gary." He said wearily, watching Gary place the paper against the guitar and examine it critically.

"How do you think black would stand out against the green?" Gary asked suddenly, eyeing the delicate design sketched out on the paper next to the dark wood.

Tracey shook his head tiredly, slightly frustrated with the way Gary changed subjects whenever he got annoyed. "I don't know, Gary, you're the painter. Listen, I'm exhausted, I need to take a shower and go to sleep."

--- --- ---

Tracey had heard Anna and Gary moving around in the music room and the hallway for several hours one night while Gary's Zune supplied an endless supply of music into the morning of the next day. When he awoke fairly early in the morning, Tracey was surprised to find the hallway filled with stacked amplifiers, the bookshelf and chest of drawers from the music room, along with Gary's keyboard stands with the keyboards still set up, their cables wrapped carefully around the legs of the stands. Peeking into the room, he saw the couch and the piano pulled away from the walls in the center of the room. The walls had been black but now where painted with what must have been several coats of white paint, the floor near the walls had been covered in plastic and the paint cans still sat near the wall with the paint-covered rollers dropped carelessly on the ground.

His eyes fell on the couch where Anna and Gary were curled up together, sound asleep, still fully clothed. Tracey couldn't recall ever seeing either of the two teens so peaceful or content looking as he eyed Gary's arm draped casually over Anna's waist where their fingers intertwined against the black fabric of the couch.

That afternoon, Tracey looked into the room to find that the walls were now the same deep red as Gary's bedroom walls; the plastic had been removed from the floor and Gary and Anna were nowhere to be found.

That night before heading to bed, Tracey found the second floor in disarray with amps and instruments in Gary's bedroom and much of the things from Gary's bedroom in the newly-painted music room. Climbing over everything in the hallway, Tracey saw Gary lying on Anna's bed while Anna sat on the window seat of her room with her laptop propped against her legs.

"What the hell have you guys been doing all day?" Tracey asked in exasperation as he looked at the mess of the hallway.

"Switching the rooms." Gary replied tiredly, hardly looking up.

"That's going to take you forever." Tracey yawned as he imagined how much work it would take the two just to move Gary's massive bed down the hall to the other room.

"We should be done moving everything tomorrow or the day after." Anna answered. "It's going to be hell though."

--- --- ---

Over the next three days, Tracey avoided the disaster of the second floor until the walls of the massive room that had been Gary's room were painted white and all of the music equipment was moved from the hallway until Gary and Anna felt like painting the room. For several days after that, Tracey didn't even see Gary or Anna upstairs unless they were sleeping in Anna's room, seemingly avoiding the other rooms after having worked in them for several days straight.

Instead, he found them doing other things that they didn't often do, like sprawl out across the couches of the living room while watching movies for hours on end, occasionally turning a quick kiss into a steamy make-out session before stopping because they were too lazy to go into a different room.

Tracey had watched them play around in the kitchen while making dinner and drinking wine; Anna was making a royal mess out of boxed macaroni and cheese while Gary patiently showed her how to properly cut the vegetables without losing any limbs in the process.

He had seen them wander around the yard before coming to a stop near the lake where they stayed for hours, just talking and hanging out as the air grew colder and the sun rose to its peak before slowly fading throughout the day.

One of the late days of November, Tracey was heading up to the study on the second floor to retrieve a book on grass-type pokemon of the Kanto region so he could begin work on the updated Pokedex files that he had been meaning to do for the past month when he found the hall once more filled with stacked amplifiers and instruments. Confused, he peered into the massive room to see Gary and Anna each carefully drawing on the newly-painted white walls with pencils; his eyes took in the rather empty room before falling on several cans of paint in the middle of the floor. He smiled to himself, enjoying watching Gary focus intently on the span of wall before him.

"You guys just couldn't do something simple, could you?" Tracey asked as Anna looked over at him.

"Well, you know Anna – she always has to be dramatic." Gary replied, not taking his eyes off the wall.

Anna laughed softly from across the room. "Don't listen to him, Trace, it was actually his idea." She said lightly, nodding in Gary's direction.

"How long do you think this will take?" Tracey asked, slightly worried, knowing that Gary's birthday was fast approaching and that a lot of people would be coming for the party.

Gary shrugged slightly as he stood up and moved to a spot on the wall a few feet away from where he had been drawing. "We'll be done drawing tomorrow and then we'll start painting. Shouldn't take too long – it's not like we're doing murals all over the room – "

"Thank God." Anna interrupted, glaring at Gary as she turned from the wall.

Seeing Gary shake his head slightly, Tracey was sure he was rolling his eyes as he continued to speak. "Since the couch and everything covers up a lot of the wall space, we'll be doing a lot of patches of solid colors." There was a slight underlying tone that told Tracey he was rather excited about this project despite the fact that he would probably be painting all day for several days on end.

--- --- ---

"Ok, so you're doing what now?"

Tracey sighed, having already been over the plan several times. "Telling Gary that Andrew can't leave until Friday because he has to check in with his grandparents, Chelsea has to go back to the Orange Islands but will stop by for a few days at the end of vacation on her way back to Sinnoh, Chris has to go to Johto, and you will be here on Thursay. Anything else, Dr. Harris?" Tracey asked wearily as he glanced over the notes he had written regarding the plan.

Alex looked thoughtful for a moment before shaking his head. "Does Gary have any idea about what's going on?"

Tracey frowned, not knowing whether or not Gary suspected any surprises. "I'm not sure." He answered honestly, causing Alex to close his eyes momentarily, clearly worried. "I know he's aware that we're preparing to start on a new project – he's pretty annoyed about it too – "

"I'm sure he's pissed because he thinks he's being left out of it." Alex interrupted.

"Yeah, he knows that you, Andrew, and Chelsea are coming at some point during the break. That's all I know. He's been preoccupied with Anna anyways so I doubt he's had any time to really think about his birthday, I'm not entirely sure he even realizes it's on Thursday, even though today's Monday."

"Any idea how we're getting him out of the house on Thursday?"

"That's my job." Tracey jumped as a voice sounded from directly behind him where he was speaking on the videophone to Alex in the lab. Turning to find the source of the feminine voice, he found May smiling down at him. "I'm dragging him all over the place, I've already got it planned – breakfast in Viridian followed by a few hours at the mall, then we're heading up Pewter with Anna to go pick up our present for him – have I told you what that is, by the way?" She hardly paused for an answer before continuing. "We'll get lunch up there and then we'll hang out and go shopping in Pewter, which will annoy the hell out of Gary, I'm sure. I was thinking of heading to Cerulean for a bit too, you know, hang out on the beach for a bit, maybe get some pizza or ice cream – "

"Might want to be careful with the ice cream part, you don't need Gary getting sick." Alex warned her, remembering a time when Gary was a child and had eaten ice cream in Cerulean only to throw up in the car several times on the way back home. May hadn't let him live it down for years afterwards and Alex was surprised Gary would still even eat ice cream despite his lactose intolerance.

May nodded, finally finished speaking while Tracey looked slightly dazed from the information she had dumped on him. Finally finding his voice again, Tracey nodded slowly as he responded. "So Gary will be out of Pallet entirely for most of the day." He mused to himself. "When are you actually getting in?" He asked Alex.

"Wednesday. I'll be driving down with Chris, Chelsea, and Monica – you haven't met her yet Tracey." He added at Tracey's confused face while May grinned.

"Still dating Monica, Harris?" She shook her head while Alex narrowed his pale green eyes at her for using his surname, which she knew annoyed him. "Why don't you just propose to her and get it over with?"

"We're as good as married, May, there's not much of a need for it." He replied flatly, clearly avoiding the subject.

May laughed. "You're as bad as Gary – he and Anna were 'as good as dating' and practically head-over-heels for each other but he still needed her to do something drastic for him to actually do something about it."

"Noted, we'll talk about it another time. Back to topic, Tracey, Andrew will be heading down in his car with a few of his and Gary's closer friends the same day. We're all staying at a hotel in Viridian Wednesday night and we'll head over after May leaves with Gary and Anna. Everyone else will get to your house in the afternoon so we'll be good as long as Gary doesn't get bored and decide to drive home."

"I already considered that; we're taking my car because Gary hates driving it." May replied, not missing a beat.

"That might have something to do with you driving a purple Bug." Tracey reminded her, knowing how much Gary loved his red and black Camaro.

May laughed cheerfully. "Gary hates my car."She said, shaking her head before smiling at Alex. "I'm going to go drag Gary to the mall for a bit, I need to pick up a new coat before it starts getting any colder. Plus, I want to talk to him about Anna. See you in a few days, Alex!"

Tracey watched her leave the lab once more, her wavy auburn hair bouncing against her shoulders as she walked in her knee-high boots with her knee length skirt flowing around her legs.

"So I guess the plan is set." Alex said simply, stretching his arms over his head. "Only thing is to keep Gary from guessing what's going on."

Tracey nodded, turning back to the screen. "If he starts suspecting anything, I'll just have Anna take him away for a few minutes to get those thoughts out of his head."

Alex laughed softly, rubbing his face wearily. "Isn't that the truth? I swear those two are just like… never mind." He shook his head slightly. "How are those two doing anyway? The last time I talked to Gary they had gotten in an argument."

Tracey sighed, thinking of the way Gary and Anna had been busy in the new music room nonstop. They had finally finished painting, having worked for five days and nights straight – Gary had told him that he never wanted to see a paint brush again for at least six months when they finally finished. Despite this, the hallway was still crammed with equipment that Tracey had to climb over and maneuver around every time he went upstairs to his bedroom or the study. Gary and Anna had spent the last two days decorating, having spent nearly an entire day in the attic, cleaning some of the furniture that had been up there for years and then dragging it down the stairs to the second floor and somehow managing to get it into the room without breaking anything. Tracey would be happy when they were done and hoped it would be before Thursday.

"They're driving me insane." Tracey answered after a moment of thought. Alex raised an eyebrow and Tracey continued with a small smile. "Gary decided to switch bedrooms randomly and then they decided to move all of the music stuff into his old room."

Alex rolled his eyes. "How long have they been working on that?" He asked incredulously.

"Over two weeks." Tracey said irritably. "They spent almost a week just painting the freaking room and they still aren't done with everything."

Alex nodded, thinking of how often Gary would paint when he had stayed with him for the first few semesters he was going to school in Sinnoh. He could spend entire days in his bedroom and paint several scenes – it was one thing that seemed to relax him as much as music, though Alex suspected it was something far deeper than that – something that eased frustrations more than playing piano or guitar or cello ever could.

"How have you been doing?" He asked Tracey suddenly. "I hear you and Gary had some sort of, uh, liaison, so to speak, going on for awhile."

Tracey looked at him in surprise. "Gary told you?"

"Told is such a subjective term." Alex stated airily, as though he were dancing around the subject. "It slipped when Gary was frustrated about fighting with Anna, I guessed what he meant by Anna being jealous of you though. So, in answer to your question, no, Gary didn't tell me, willingly at least. You didn't answer my question though."

"I've actually been too busy to think about it a lot." Tracey lied, having spent hours laying awake at night while thinking of things that had happened between them, having often found himself spacing out in the lab while daydreaming about Gary and sometimes Andrew, having woken up in the middle of the night several times after confusing and erotic dreams that drove him crazy.

Alex smiled knowingly. "You know, Tracey, being as close as I am to Gary, I'm very good at telling when someone is lying or hiding something." He said gently.

Tracey frowned. "Ok, I like him a lot. And I'm trying to not think about it so much because there is no chance for us. There wasn't much of one to begin with, Gary's just so… secretive."

"He worries too much about what other people think of him." Alex replied, examining his fingernails distractedly.

Tracey nodded. "Exactly! But he doesn't see it that way and I doubt he'll ever admit it. Anyway, he's really got something special with Anna, whether I like it or not and I'm glad he's happy with her. I hope it doesn't crash and burn but I'm kind of worried that it will – it seems like Gary's holding back around her, which, as far as I know, he's never done before. He told me that she's the one person he never censors himself around so I don't know why he would hold back from her."

"He is." Alex replied.

Tracey looked at him quizzically. "Why though?"

Alex shrugged slightly, resting his arms on the table before him. "He's scared and, of course, he won't admit it. Though, in his defense, things have changed rather suddenly for him in a lot of ways. I think he's still in disbelief about everything that's happened over the past few months since he's been back in Pallet. That's just my guess though, I can't read his mind – sometimes I think May can though." He added with a smile.

--- --- ---

"Hey, Gary – whoa. Wow… you guys have been busy." May froze in the doorway to the new music room, having not even ventured this far down the hall since they started working.

The room looked incredibly different from how she imagined it would look with Gary and Anna decorating it. For starters, it was colorful. May could easily tell what parts were done by Gary and what parts were done by Anna – the bold swirls in shades of blue flowing around the windows were obviously done by Anna, they were too simple to be done by Gary. Along one wall was a huge tree, the Tree of Life, May figured, given Anna's fascination with Norse and Celtic mythology; it was most likely drawn by Gary, given the complexity of it, and painted by both of them, judging by the way the trunk was detailed – her brother's doing – while the leaves weren't – Anna's doing. Eyeing a small fairy with dark wings perched in the branches of the tree, she smiled – that was definitely Anna's idea though certainly drawn and painted by Gary – she could just imagine how much Anna must have argued to have that detail put in. Letting her eyes follow the curves of the branches of the tree, she noticed more details: runes carved in the bark, a spider hanging from a web, music staves with melodies flowing from the end of a branch to the trunk where the lines split and spread along the trunk before ending in runes, red eyes gleaming from between leaves with a splash of yellow and black beyond those same leaves – an umbreon hiding. There were other things that she saw as she walked closer to inspect the branches more while Gary carefully hung the guitars and basses on the wall mounts – Anna's included, May noted. There was one detail that made her laugh. She nearly missed it, it was small and on a higher branch, two words in sharp letters – the same ones on the shirt her brother was currently wearing.

May shook her head as Gary glanced over at her. "I should've known that would be in here somewhere." May said pointing to it.

Gary grinned. "Of course. Did you notice the music notes?"

"Yeah, what is it?"

"The bass line to Number of the Beast."

"He's been showing off with that one a lot lately." Anna's voice drifted across the room from the red loveseat she and Kate were sitting on in front of the windows. May recognized it even though she hadn't seen it in several years since it had been moved to the attic after she had convinced her grandfather to buy a new couch for the living room.

May shook her head again as she smiled at Gary. "The room looks great, I guess spending a week painting it really paid off." She said, her eyes trailing along the other walls, pausing on a large pentagram with vines flowing from each of the five points of the star and forming complex designs along the wall all around it. "I was hoping to steal you away from Anna for a few hours." She told Gary, turning back to him.

"What for?"

"Not much; I need to go to the mall and figured I would drag you with me."

"That sounds good; me and Kate were going out to get our hair done anyway." Anna answered for Gary.

"You're getting your hair done?" Gary asked, unaware of her plans.

"Yep, I'm getting a bit bored with black and green, besides; I need highlights that'll go with the layers better. And Kate wants to try something different, we're going to let Bella find something that will work on her."

May nodded in approval, Bella had quit high school at sixteen, taking a test to get her diploma, and gone to a beauty school in Pewter for two years before getting a job at the hair salon in downtown Pallet. She had been working there since her second year in beauty school and was good at what she did, she had always been good with hair ever since she was thirteen, experimenting with new haircuts on the other girls, dying Anna's hair every color of the rainbow, giving Rachael blonde highlights every two months, even perming Michelle's hair at one point.

"Are you going to come with me?" May asked Gary. He sighed as he delicately placed Anna's lime green bass on a mount on the wall next to a black and green guitar of his and nodded.

"Great, I'll meet you downstairs in a bit!"

--- --- ---

Gary sighed loudly as he slid into May's low Volkswagen, grumbling about her insistence on driving her car to the mall. May was already sitting in the driver's seat, flipping through the radio stations, stopping on a classic rock station. To her surprise, Gary remained quiet until they reached the highway, ignoring the songs on the radio that May knew normally caused him to put in a cd.

Glancing at him as she sped up to pass a truck, May spoke. "What's on your mind?"

Gary turned from the window to face her with a small shrug. "Nothing." He replied flatly.

May nodded. "As always." She said sarcastically, throwing him a smile that he returned easily.

"I actually mean it though, that's the strange part." He said quietly, reaching to turn off the radio.

May slapped his hand away from the buttons on the dash board. "My car, no touching." She warned, turning the volume of the Guns N Roses song slightly. "I find that hard to believe, Gary. There's got to be something on your mind, I mean, your birthday's only a few days away. My baby brother will be all grown up."

Gary rolled his eyes slightly and was quiet for a few minutes before speaking up again. "Do you know why Grandpa's not letting me in the lab lately?" He finally asked, looking troubled.

May sighed, knowing exactly why Gary hadn't been allowed in the lab lately and knowing that he would know in less than a week why the professor had been so secretive lately. "What makes you think he doesn't want you in the lab?" She asked, evading the question he had asked her.

Gary gave a small snort of disbelief. "Couldn't possibly be the fact that he kicks me out every time I go down there." He replied cynically.

May frowned, not sure of what to say and not wanting to spark her brother's temper as she changed lanes, anticipating the exit for Viridian City. Fortunately for her, Gary didn't remain quiet for long.

"He's still disappointed with me about school, isn't he?" He asked softly, gazing at the dark carpet of the small car.

"No, Gary, of course not!" She looked at her brother in concern for a moment before turning back to the road. "He's not disappointed in you at all – "

"Sure doesn't seem like it."

May switched off the radio, seeing the exit approaching. "He's not disappointed in you." She repeated firmly. "No one is, except you. We all know why you came home when you did and we understand it to the best of our ability." She said slowly, carefully choosing her words as Gary gazed moodily out the window at the passing scenery. "There's so many things I wish I could tell you, Gary." She said with a small smile, imagining how happy Gary would be when he found out what the research project was. Her grandfather had told her a week prior and she knew Gary would be enthusiastic about it once he found out that Professor Oak was intending on having Gary on the research team along with Alex and a few beginner researchers that Gary was acquainted with.

"You and Tracey know something that you aren't telling me."

May forced a laugh, knowing the conversation was coming dangerously close to causing Gary to suspect the upcoming surprise. "Ever so suspicious." She said lightly, gently pushing Gary's shoulder. "Just chill out for once, stop thinking we're all ganging up on you when you know we're not. This new research thing is top secret at the moment, Tracey knows because he's the lab assistant and is more familiar with newer topics than Grandpa, I know because I help with the inventory and ordering for the lab, Alex knows because he's the main contact at the university. You don't need to know anything right now, once work starts, I'm sure Grandpa will be constantly asking you for help."

Gary shook his head slightly and returned to staring out the window as May expertly navigated the main roads of the city. She turned the radio back on and turned up the volume as she recognized the song that came on. Smiling at the familiar tune, she glanced at Gary, noticing that he seemed torn between enjoying the song and hating it.

"You used to love this song." May said cheerfully, dancing slightly in her seat. "Remember when we were kids? Dad would play it on piano and Alex would play the guitar."

"Mom would sing." Gary added softly.

"Standing on broken dreams, never losing sight, well just spread your wings," May began singing, grinning at her brother.

Gary sighed softly and gazed out the window as she kept singing, part of him wanting to turn off the radio and find something that didn't bring back overwhelming memories of childhood. May came to a stop at a red light and turned to Gary, reaching out and touching his cheek as she sang. "So baby dry your eyes, save all the tears you've cried…"

She drove forward as the light changed but not before she saw the corner of Gary's mouth twitch slightly. She grinned, knowing that she was succeeding in lightening Gary's mood. She turned into the mall parking lot, which was fairly empty, not surprising considering it was a Monday. Finally, May heard her brother's voice join hers as she pulled into an empty parking space near the main entrance. Quickly slipping off her seatbelt as she put the car in park, May turned and leaned towards Gary, singing louder as the song approached its end.

"And in the end, on dreams we will depend, 'cause that's what love is made of!" May turned off the ignition after the final note and leaned forward to kiss Gary on the cheek before opening her door and climbing out of the small car.

Walking to the front of the car, May watched Gary climb out of the purple vehicle with a grin. She waited for him to reach her before hitting the lock button on her keys and slipped an arm around his waist, smiling comfortably as his arm slid across her shoulders. "I always manage to cheer you up, don't I?" She asked cheerfully as the two siblings walked towards the glass doors of the entrance.

"So what exactly are we doing here?" Gary asked when they were inside, starting to lead his sister in the direction of the food court.

"I need some clothes." May replied with a wide grin as Gary's smile slowly faded. "Don't worry, we won't spend too much time clothes shopping." She reassured him as she eyed his apprehensive expression.

--- --- ---

The shopping wasn't nearly as bad as Gary had anticipated, despite having already spent two hours wandering from store to store with May as she tried on clothes. They were in the fourth store when May finally found a coat she liked, a knee length black trench coat, a huge smile spread across her face when she saw it and she quickly found her size and pulled it on over her red sweater. She twirled in it, smiling at the way it flared ever so slightly at the movement; she raised her eyebrows at her brother and tilted her head to the side slightly, silently asking him for his opinion. But he wasn't looking at her, his eyes had fallen instead on a pretty blue sweater nearby – it looked expensive, she observed, probably cashmere with a deep v-shaped neck; something for a curvier girl than herself.

"That would look great on you, Gary." She said happily as she folded her arms across her chest. "It would really bring out your eyes."

Gary snorted softly, rolling his eyes and turning back to his sister. "Forget it."

May sighed and walked to the rack, pulling out a medium sized sweater and checking the price tag. "I was kidding, Gary. Why don't you get it for her? It's only thirty dollars, I think she'll like it."

Gary took the shirt from her and stared at it for a moment, running his hands over the soft fabric. "It's not really Anna's style." He replied dryly. "Besides, what would she wear it with?"

"Plenty of things and there's nothing wrong with having one nice sweater. But if you really don't want to buy it for her, let's find something else." May shrugged off the coat she had tried on and carefully placed it back on the hanger, draping it over her arm as she led Gary through the store.

She noticed that he was still holding the sweater and she was glad; she liked Anna the way she was but knew she would look stunning in nicer clothes. She had gone shopping with Michelle, Bella, and Anna many times over the years and had noticed the way Anna's eyes often fell upon the very same things that Gary's eyes lingered on. The girl never bought any of the clothes she eyed longingly, seeming embarrassed whenever May or the other girls suggested she get something. After nearly half an hour of searching the store, May and Gary had found several items that Anna would like; after some gentle persuasion, involving threats of breaking instruments, May had convinced Gary to buy Anna the blue sweater, along with a leopard print pencil skirt, a black shirt with lace elbow-length sleeves, and a long-sleeved emerald green hooded shirt.

"You think Anna will like them?" Gary asked May worriedly as they walked out of the store a few minutes later.

May nodded, thinking of the times she had watched Anna gaze at similar clothing. "I think she'll really like them. They'll look good on her either way." She said thoughtfully, heading in the direction of the food court.

Gary was quiet as he followed his older sister, imagining how Anna would look in the skirt – it was definitely her style, even if she had never worn anything quite like it.

They sat down at a table several moments later with a pizza between them and began eating in silence until May spoke up after finishing her second slice.

"You've been awfully happy lately." She observed quietly, watching Gary pause as he picked the cheese off of a slice of pizza. "You two have made it past the first month and the first fight."

Gary sighed and set the slice down on his plate before running a hand through his hair and leaning back in his chair. "I never thought I'd be dating Anna." He admitted.

"You always wanted to though." May pointed out.

"Yeah," Gary agreed, looking thoughtful. "I didn't want to risk changing everything." He sighed softly, his left hand slowly trailing along his right forearm, fingers caressing the scars hidden by the sleeves of his sweatshirt.

"I won't lie to you, Gary, I was worried when you two started dating, especially since you got her that ring. Watching you two though…" May shook her head slightly. "You have what it takes, I'd really like to see you just let go and let things happen."

Gary sighed once more, resting his forearms on the table and staring down at the white surface. "I want to." He said softly. "I don't want to rush into this though, I wish everyone would realize that. I've only been home for four months now and in that time a lot has happened. Even before I came home, a lot happened, you know that, you know why I came home in the first place." He took a few bites of his pizza, appearing thoughtful before placing the slice back on his plate. "I care about Anna a lot, I really do – don't look at me like that, I know what you're thinking. You and Alex have both said it and I know why, I do. I'm just… not ready to take the relationship to that level yet and everyone pressuring me about it isn't going to make matters better. I'd like it if everyone just backed off and let me figure it out on my own."

May nodded in understanding and reached for another slice of pizza. "I understand and I'll talk to Alex and tell him what you told me." She paused as she took a bite and chewed thoughtfully. "I do have one thing to say though," She said after swallowing, Gary sighed and set down the half-eaten slice of pizza again. "This isn't any pressure or anything so don't take it that way, it's just something to think about some rainy day when you have some time alone. First, what do you think of Alex and Monica's relationship?"

Gary looked confused at the sudden change in topic but the look turned thoughtful as he thought about the chemistry professor in Sinnoh who was only a few years younger than Alex. The two had started dating only a few months after Alex had taken on the positions of the organic chemistry professor and general chemistry lab instructor at the university when Gary was ten. They had been dating since then and Monica lived in Alex's house with him, she had been something like a mother to Gary when he stayed in Sinnoh. Despite the lack of a ring, engagement or otherwise, the two were obviously in love with each other, the equivalent of husband and wife.

"They're practically married, they're great for each other." He replied.

May nodded with a slight smirk. "And what would you think if Alex told you that they were getting married?"

Gary laughed softly. "About fucking time."

May's smirk grew more prominent as she nodded again. "Exactly." She said cryptically, leaning back in her seat and eyeing Gary critically. "Remember that, Gary; that's what I thought when you and Anna started dating."

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Well this chapter was supposed to be a parallel to chapter 2 but it really didn't end up that way. Anywho, it's been quite awhile since it was mentioned so you may have forgotten about it, but Professor Oak has been planning Gary's surprise birthday party and that is quickly approaching (as in one of the next few chapters). There's going to be many new characters making small appearances and most of them, if not all, will make appearances in the prequel once I start working on it. We may also be seeing some more _familiar_ characters that might not have appeared in the story yet – just a little something to look forward to in the near future.

The scene with Gary, Anna, Kate, and the cello – the thing that makes Kate call Gary a nerd would be playing The Final Countdown on cello, and the song that Kate and Anna sing along to is obviously Metallica's Master of Puppets. I have to admit to listening to Apocalyptica when I wrote this (I take them over Metallica as I can't stand the vocals, sorry Metallica fans).

The song Gary kept screwing up on piano while May, Anna, and Tracey were in the kitchen was Nightwish's Dead To The World, the really complex keyboard part right after the vocal intro.

The thing hidden on the painted tree in the living room that makes May laugh is the Iron Maiden logo.

The song May sings to in the car is Dreams by Van Halen. A bit of a jump from the normal music in here, I must say, but hey, songs from childhood – can't go wrong with them!

Arch-trainer – I agree, she was over-reacting but then again girls tend to do that (and that's coming from a chick too!). I'm glad you liked the soccer scene even though you don't like soccer. : )


	24. Chapter 24: Introductions

**Beyond The Walls**

::NOTE – I apologize for the longer-than-usual wait: I've been quite busy with school the past few weeks. I'll warn you, this is a lengthy chapter with a lengthy author's note at the end. This chapter (and the next) introduces many new characters, brings back a few old ones, and sheds light on others. A few of the new characters will be important in the rest of this story and all of them will be in the prequel.

Chapter 24: Introductions

"Well, what do you think?" Anna asked, looking up at her boyfriend as she finished adjusting the rug she had placed on the floor of the music room.

Gary frowned slightly at the colorful rug that Anna had brought back from her house when she stopped by to visit her mother the day before. He supposed it could have been much worse – leopard print or bright-colored shag, but it was actually pretty nice; in fact, he remembered seeing it in her living room a few years back, before Nicole decided to redecorate, getting rid of her retro themed furniture and settling on simple and comfortable pieces in shades of blue. The rug in question was one with geometric shapes in shades of blue, green, red, and black. "It doesn't exactly match the room." Gary replied from his perch on a bright blue armchair that had also come from Anna's house.

Anna sighed as she dropped lazily onto the bright green armchair that mirrored the one Gary was lounging on. "I hate to break it to you, Gary, but nothing in this room matches. Except the amps." She reminded him wearily, gazing around the room that they had been working hard on.

Gary smiled at her and shook his head. "I never said I didn't like it." He said lightly. "It looks fine."

He had to admit, he liked the room a lot more now than he had when it was his bedroom or when all of the amplifiers, instruments, and furniture had been squeezed into the smaller dark room that was more of a lair than anything else. Now the room was a place that you could hang out in comfortably since there was actually room for furniture other than the black couch that was against the wall in the place where the black piano had stood; that piano was currently in the smaller room down the hall, in the corner where the keyboards had been set up next to the window that was forever covered in thick black curtains but were now covered in thinner drapes that were constantly open to fill the room with light. Other than the couch was a red loveseat that had been sitting in the attic, covered with an old sheet, for the past three years since May had convinced his grandfather to buy the beige couch that was currently in the living room. Anna had positioned it in front of the windows, away from the black couch. The two arm chairs were on either side of the loveseat, a few feet away from the wall and facing each other from across the small bean-shaped coffee table that had come from Anna's house as well. It had been a light pine wood with an elevated glass top over the wooden surface but Anna had painted it black; there were smaller similar ones one either side of the couch. The bookshelf and chest of drawers from the other room had been positioned along the wall near the door; the shelves were still packed with books and cds and it still had the small stereo on the top. The drawers of the chest were still packed full of equipment from many cables of different lengths to a few microphones to guitar strings and picks, there were still several shot glasses on top of it but no alcohol bottles. They had finally finished setting up the amps and keyboards earlier that morning; Gary had stacked and arranged the amplifiers strategically so that they didn't interfere with the paintings on the walls in anyway. For some reason he had decided to switch the two pianos in the rooms, much to Anna's annoyance.

Either way, it was done, they were happy, and most of all, they'd had fun working together.

Anna brushed her hair out of her face and straightened the emerald-colored shirt that clung to her curves – Gary hadn't been able to take his eyes off of her since she had put it on and was glad that May had convinced him to buy it. "So, looking forward to tomorrow?"

Gary sighed. "Not really." He admitted, finding himself admiring the way her newly dyed hair gleamed in the light drifting through the windows.

Bella had done a great job, he observed; Anna's hair still fell to the middle of her back with the front layers falling to her shoulders but it had been dyed entirely black with a streak of purple framing either side of her face. Gary thought it looked much better than the green highlights did when her hair fell to her waist. She looked great right then, with the shoulder length part of her hair tied back while the rest of her hair was down, the purple strands hung down in the front, parted artfully off-center so that they framed her face. Her hair looked casual – or would have, if Gary hadn't watched her spend nearly fifteen minutes trying to get it just right. The dark shirt made her eyes look more green than usual and it looked surprisingly sexy paired with her black corduroy jeans and tall pumps.

"Why is that?" Anna asked softly, eyeing Gary with concern in her eyes.

Gary shrugged. "I'm just kind of disappointed that Andrew and Chelsea won't be here for it, my last two birthdays were a lot of fun because of them."

Anna frowned in confusion. "You were here for your sixteenth birthday, Gary. Remember getting your driver's license and the keys to the Camaro?"

"Remember that I was sick when I got here with Alex two days before my birthday?" Anna nodded. "That's because of how hung over I was – entirely Andrew's fault – but it was still fun. Then we went out again when I got back. And of course my last birthday was memorable, May can attest to that."

"You and Andrew?"

"And a bottle of vodka each."

Anna grinned. "That's a lot of vodka, and if I recall correctly, you said there was tequila involved?"

Gary groaned, remembering the hangover he'd had the next day. "Ok so the amount of vodka is exaggerated, and yes, there was some tequila."

"So you're annoyed that you won't be able to drink with Andrew on your birthday." Anna mused, a slightly smug smile crossing her face. "If you really want to get drunk, we can go out and buy some stuff tomorrow; maybe get some of that vanilla vodka you love so much."

Gary gave her a small smile. "Drinking isn't as much fun without Andrew and Chelsea around though. It was even more fun with everyone else in Sinnoh… "

"Are you guys planning on coming sometime today?" May's mildly annoyed voice called from the hallway.

Gary sighed as he stood up, wondering why exactly May and the other girls insisted on going out to dinner the day before his birthday when Alex and Monica would be there on his actual birthday. Nonetheless, he knew he shouldn't complain; after all, it wasn't every day he got to hang out with all of the girls and Tracey as well as be in the center of attention.

He was surprised a few moments later as Anna climbed into the back seat with May and let Tracey take the front seat of the car. Gary frowned slightly while he watched through the rearview mirror as May and Anna whispered and giggled. Tracey was saying something as he flipped through the cd wallet but Gary was too busy trying to decipher what the girls were saying to listen to him.

"Gary!" Tracey's voice suddenly snapped next to him.

"Ow! What?" Gary asked irritably as he rubbed his arm where Tracey had hit him to get his attention.

"What do you want me to put on?"

"Oh… whatever you want, I don't care."

Tracey looked doubtfully down at the cd wallet and back up at Gary. Anna reached between the front seats and plucked the case from Tracey's lap.

"Don't worry, I'll pick something for you, Trace." She chirped happily as Gary groaned softly, not in the mood to hear the heavy music that she would most likely pick out.

Anna kicked the back of his seat in response to the groan as Gary backed the car down the driveway and turned onto the road. "Don't assault the driver." Gary warned as Anna handed Tracey a cd facedown.

"Don't let Gary see it." She instructed as Tracey gingerly took the cd, she could tell he was wondering if he should turn down the volume before putting it in and grinned to herself.

"Let me guess," Gary began dryly as Tracey waited for the player to spit out the cd that was already in. "Dimmu Borgir?" Anna shook her head with a grin and Gary raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise. "Amon Amarth, then." He guessed again in the same flat voice as before, Anna's grin grew wider. "Oh, Nightwish. Again. I can see we're going with originality here."

Anna scoffed and shook her head, flipping through the cds once more. "Fine, I try being nice by picking out something that I normally don't pick for us… Here," She leaned forward between the seats and ejected the cd, irritably pushing the new one in. "Let's see if this meets your standards."

"I never said it didn't meet my standards." Gary said, speeding up as they reached the main road of Pallet. "I meant that we listen to them all the time, I like other bands you know – good choice by the way."

Tracey frowned as he glanced at Gary, not recognizing the complicated sounding music. "What – "

"Rhapsody." May informed him before he could finish the question. "I'm surprised, Tracey, this is one of Michelle's favorite bands."

"She's not very big on this song, that's why he doesn't know it. You'll recognize this." Gary changed the song and Anna laughed softly, recognizing a song that Michelle played often.

"Oh, yeah. I know it now." Tracey muttered, looking slightly embarrassed.

A few songs later and Gary was turning sharply into an empty space in front of the Italian restaurant they always went to. Bella was already there, leaning against her pale blue Prius in the next parking space. She smiled and shook her head slightly at Gary's sudden entrance, stepping forward and hugging him as he climbed out of the car.

"Happy early birthday, Gary." She said, tossing her black hair over her shoulder and pulling her brown sweater closer around her. "I was hoping you'd get here soon, it's cold out!"

"That's why you wear a jacket." Michelle's voice called to them.

Gary turned and saw Michelle and Kate walking towards them from Michelle's rusted green Honda across the parking lot. Michelle looked prettier than usual wearing a red dress with long sleeves and a swishy skirt that fell just past her knees paired with black knee-high boots opposed to her usual shorts and sneakers.

"Nice dress." Gary commented as Michelle reached the group and greeted them.

"Isn't it? I got it for like fifteen dollars at work between a sale and the employee discount." She laughed as Tracey gave her a small hug in greeting.

Gary turned his attention away from Michelle to Kate, who was wearing nice bootleg jeans with embroidery on one of the legs and a green sweater that was similar to the blue one Gary had bought Anna a few days before. Over the sweater was a black hooded jacket, with the hood pulled up, covering her hair and concealing her face as she kept her head down.

"What are you doing hiding my masterpiece?" Bella shrieked in mock anger as she took in Kate's appearance.

Matching grins spread across Anna and Michelle's faces as Kate raised her head and lowered the hood. She looked more mature than Gary could ever remember seeing her with perfectly applied emerald eye shadow, her blue eyes lined with dark brown liner and her long lashes suddenly brought to attention with brown mascara. Her hair was shorter than he ever remembered seeing it – it had always been long and straight, hanging down past the middle of her back – now it was just past her shoulders and hung in loose curls, framing her pale face.

"Wow. Kate, you look great." Gary said in surprise.

"Doesn't she? I thought a loose perm would be perfect to frame that pretty face." Bella explained as she fluffed Kate's hair around her shoulders.

"We're turning our little sis here into one sexy babe." Michelle grinned. "I did her makeup, doesn't it look good?"

Tracey muttered something about going inside to get their table and Michelle, Bella, and May followed him into the restaurant with Anna trailing after them, glancing back at Gary and Kate.

"So what do you _really_ think?" Kate asked softly as Gary placed a hand on her back to usher her in ahead of him.

"I think it suits you; you look mature… and you actually look pretty as opposed to cute. Let me ask you something though, what do _you_ think of it?"

Kate thought for a moment before answering as Gary paused to look at her. "I think it looks a lot better than before. It's kind of hard to get used to though because it's so different. That's what I want though, after everything with Rachael and Anna, I don't really know exactly who I am –"

"I know who you are." Gary interrupted.

"And who am I, Gary?"

Gary placed his hands on her shoulders, glancing beyond her to see May looking at him inquisitively from the table before focusing on her face. "You, Kate, are one of the sweetest and most honest and caring people I know – hey, you screwed up once, who doesn't?" He added as Kate snorted in disbelief. "You are intelligent and witty, a little nerdy –

"Hey!" Kate exclaimed as Gary smiled gently.

"You'll figure it out, you just need some time." Gary embraced her briefly, kissing her forehead as he pulled away. "I love you like a sister, Kate, you'll be fine. And besides," He threw her a grin as he led her to the table. "you'll always have me around."

Anna glanced warily at them when Gary sat down between her and Tracey while Kate took her spot across the table between Bella and Michelle.

"I have to bring you up to Sinnoh one day, Kate. You would really like my friend Shawn."

May smiled discreetly at Anna and elbowed her lightly in the ribs at her brother's words, recognizing the name from the list of people Alex had named who were coming the next day.

**--- --- ---**

Gary woke abruptly on Thursday morning when his pillow was yanked roughly from under his head, he rolled over onto his stomach, groping for another pillow as he muttered curses at Anna under his breath. The familiar weight on the bed shifted as teeth grabbed onto the edge of his shirt, tugging at it and growling playfully.

"Trying to sleep here." Gary muttered, pushing away the creature disturbing his sleep. The weight shifted again as the teeth left his shirt and nipped at his hand. "Umbreon!" He rolled over again and glared sleepily at the black canine as she began licking his face. "What is it with you this morning?"

Umbreon leapt off of the bed and lowered herself into a pounce position, wagging her tail happily at her barely awake trainer who tossed the blanket off of the bed at her and sat up groaning.

"Sorry, furball, you didn't pick the best morning to play." Gary told her, trying to ignore his headache as Umbreon tumbled under the blanket on the floor. She appeared a moment later, holding the edge of the comforter between her teeth. "You should know better than to try playing after I've been drinking with girls, or anyone for that matter." Gary added, laying back down and closing his eyes, thinking about the night before.

Gary was surprised the night before had been so much fun, usually hanging out with all five girls plus Tracey left him bored and wanting to be alone with Anna. He was fine hanging out with everyone individually or in small groups but everyone was so different that he always felt awkward being with everyone at the same time. Last night had been different, maybe because he finally felt able to relax more than he ever had with the girls in many years, maybe because being romantically linked with Anna left him feeling so content. The dinner with the girls was much more subdued than the lunch he'd had the last time he was at this particular restaurant, the day after Halloween with Andrew and Chelsea; they still laughed and shared stories and jokes, but were nowhere near as obnoxious as Andrew was. They all headed to Gary's house afterwards; Bella, Michelle, and Kate planning on spending the night. A few bottles of wine later and Kate was asleep on the black couch in the music room where they had been hanging out and drinking, Tracey and Michelle were intoxicated to the point of helpless giggling. May and Bella had remained awake and sober enough to continue hanging out with Gary and Anna. May and Bella were sprawled across the love seat, each drinking from the bottle, having given up on refilling glasses, while Gary leaned back against one of the chairs, his legs on either side of Anna as she leaned against him. The three girls spent hours chattering on about boys and sex and any other topic that came up while Gary spent most of the time pressing kisses against Anna's neck and shoulders, murmuring in her ear and tempting her to leave the room with him. Eventually she had left with him, spending the night in his room, curled up next to him under the thick comforter. Despite feeling slightly frustrated that it had been a sexless night, Gary still felt content remembering the way her tender flesh felt beneath his lips and how peaceful she looked as she slept next to him.

Gary could hear the shower running as Umbreon dropped the blanket from her mouth and stalked over to the window, jumping up on the window seat and haughtily sitting down to stare out the window. Gary stood up after a few minutes of unsuccessfully trying to go back to sleep, tossing the blanket back on the bed before walking into the bathroom. He listened to Anna humming in the shower as he brushed his teeth and splashed cool water in his face, trying to feel more awake, before stripping out of his long-sleeved shirt and boxers to join Anna.

Anna was surprised when Gary suddenly pulled the shower curtain aside and kissed her on the lips, pressing his body against hers. Anna squirmed against him with a soft giggle and twisted out of his grip to finish rinsing the conditioner out of her hair while Gary's hands continued sliding across her body. She turned after a moment and smiled at him before reaching for the curtain.

"Finish up while there's still hot water." She told him, still smiling as she reached for her shaving cream and razor before climbing out of the shower.

Gary shook his head in annoyance as he listened to Anna continue humming while she shaved her legs. He was just finishing in the shower when she pulled the curtain open once more to rinse the shaving cream off of her legs.

"What do you want to do today?" Anna asked lightly, watching Gary rinse his hair in the warm water.

"I don't know; maybe bring Umbreon to the beach. She's annoyed because I wouldn't play with her when she woke me up."

Anna nodded, a strangely satisfied look that Gary couldn't interpret crossing her face before she stepped closer to him, kissing him and pushing him against the wall. The kiss deepened into a battle, neither willing to break the contact and pull back for air or to turn off the cooling water. It was after several moments of passionate kissing and groping that Gary dimly realized, through his anticipation of what would surely come next, that Anna was shivering against him. Despite being chilled from the combination of the cool water and the sharply cold morning air, Anna groaned in disappointment as Gary pulled away from her to turn off the water and stepped out of the shower.

Gary pulled two fluffy towels from the cabinet under the sink and turned to see Anna wring the water out of her hair as he wrapped one around his waist before approaching her with the other one in hand. He wrapped the towel snuggly around her shoulders, running his hands up and down her arms before cupping her face in his hands and kissing her. Not surprisingly, Anna soon brushed the towel off of her shoulders and tugged the other towel from Gary's waist, pressing her body against his once more before grasping his wrist and dragging him towards the bedroom.

Gary caught a glimpse of the scandalized glare Umbreon shot at them as Anna pushed him onto the bed with a mischievous grin. The grin disappeared as Anna's foot got caught in part of the blanket that trailed off of the bed onto floor and she tumbled onto the bed, landing less than gracefully on top of Gary. Ignoring Anna's clumsiness, Gary pulled her against him and began kissing her despite her giggles.

"Stop laughing." Gary growled against her lips, rolling over on the bed so that he was on top. Anna's giggles grew into louder laughter as Gary's eyes narrowed slightly. "Knock it off or I'll give you a reason to laugh." He murmured in her ear.

Anna bit her lip and stared up at Gary with a smile as she tried not to laugh while Gary pressed kisses against her throat as he pulled the blanket the rest of the way onto the bed and pulled it over them. Anna squealed loudly as Gary's hands slid along her sides, laughing once more as he pulled away shaking his head.

"I warned you…" He grinned as she shrieked in laughter, trying to slap away his tickling hands.

They were soon rolling on the bed, laughing and wrestling under the comforter for several minutes until Anna slid her fingers through Gary's still-wet hair and grasped it lightly, smiling as Gary closed his eyes and uttered a low moan. He slowly slid off of her, rolling onto his back as his hands went still on her hips while she slipped a leg over his waist to straddle him before nipping his shoulder lightly. Still grasping the wet strands in her hand, Anna continued kissing and sucking Gary's shoulder, slowly sliding her free hand along his stomach as she felt his grip on her hips tighten slightly.

"Alright, love birds, time to get up!" May's cheerful voice shattered the moment as the door burst open. Umbreon took the opportunity to stalk across the room, leaving her trainer alone with his girlfriend and sister. "Ah… You guys are already awake I see. Get dressed and come downstairs when you're done."

"Lock the door behind you!" Anna called as May disappeared into the hallway and closed the door behind her. She looked back at Gary. "Where were we?"

--- --- ---

"So I hear you've been traumatizing poor little Umbreon." Michelle said, looking up from her laptop with a grin as Gary walked into the kitchen wearing loose jeans and a t-shirt, his hair still messy and damp from the shower.

Tracey and Bella laughed as Gary scowled at them, stalking across the room to the refrigerator. "When are Alex and Monica supposed to get here?" He asked May, who was leaning against the counter, her blue fingernails quickly moving across the buttons on her cell phone as she texted someone.

"Not until this afternoon. I have to go up to Pewter to pick something up in a bit, want to come with me? Maybe pick up some breakfast in Viridian, stop by the mall?" She suggested casually, hoping she wouldn't have to drag Gary out of the house as it would only make him suspicious.

"Actually, Gary mentioned maybe taking Umbreon to the beach today." Anna informed her as she entered the kitchen wearing her new blue sweater and a pair of artfully torn jeans.

"Oh. To make up for not playing with her and then for having sex in front of her? I don't know _how_ she puts up with you sometimes." May joked, secretly grateful that Gary had thought of that on his own – it would make the whole day run more smoothly. "We can take my car, like I said, I have to go to Pewter."

"And what do you need in Pewter that you can't get anywhere else?" Gary asked sardonically as he sat between Tracey and Bella at the table.

May winked at him. "That's for me to know and you to find out." She answered smugly, ignoring the way Gary rolled his eyes at her. "Go get your shoes on, we might as well go while it's still fairly early; that way we can get back around the time Alex gets here."

Gary frowned slightly as Anna poured a glass of milk and drank it, carefully avoiding his eyes and meeting May's with a strange look that he didn't miss. "Why don't we just take my car? Then Tracey and Kate can come too."

"Actually, I have work." Kate's sleepy voice informed him as she walked in wearing snug jeans and a light purple thermal shirt with a pikachu on it.

"That certainly explains why you're dressed for work." Gary observed.

"I don't have to be in until noon, it's only ten-thirty right now." Kate said, glancing at Michelle.

"Yeah, I have to drive her over to her house soon so she can get ready before I drop her off. I have to head over to the school once I finish this paper." Michelle explained, gesturing to her laptop and several papers that were spread around her spot at the table. "It's due tomorrow since the semester ends then."

"I'll never understand why exactly school gets out so much later here than in Sinnoh." Gary muttered to himself.

"Oh, I know, Gary – it's what? A whole week later?" May asked with a grin, Gary ignored her and turned to Tracey.

"What about you, Trace?" He asked. "Want to come with us?"

Tracey felt mildly panicked when Gary asked him, having not anticipated being invited along and having no excuse to give Gary. He racked his brain for possible excuses before raising his eyes from his cereal to answer the question. "Actually, I have a few things I need to do today in the lab." He lied, watching Gary's eyes narrow ever so slightly before he shrugged.

"Let me guess: you have stuff you need to do too, huh, Bella?"

Bella smiled warmly. "Sorry, sweetie, I'm meeting my father for lunch."

Gary sighed softly, not entirely disappointed that he would be spending his birthday alone with the two most important women in his life – three, if you included Umbreon, who was currently lying in the sun on the porch, enjoying the crisp morning air. He stood and left the room, wandering upstairs to his bedroom to get ready to go.

Anna stuck her head out of the kitchen to make sure Gary was gone before speaking. "I've never seen him fall for so many lies in a row." She said lightly.

Kate sighed and sat down in the seat Gary had vacated. "I'm so glad I don't actually have to go into work today." She muttered, graciously accepting the cup of tea May offered her.

"Katie, was that the first time you've gotten drunk?" Michelle asked with a grin.

Kate nodded slightly after taking a sip of tea "Do you actually have to go to the school today?"

Michelle shook her head. "I can email the paper in when I'm done."

"Gary would be pleased to know that I'm the only one that didn't lie to him this morning." Bella said softly, pouring more sugar in her tea, ignoring the protests that May and Anna made in response to her comment.

--- --- ---

May had just sent Tracey a text message to let him know that they had finished breakfast in Viridian and were heading towards the beach at Cerulean City when a silver Scion pulled into the driveway in front of the Oak house followed by a black Nova. By the time Tracey walked from the living room to the front door, Alex was already walking up the driveway with an attractive woman that appeared to be about his age while Chris helped Andrew unload the trunk of the Nova. When Tracey reached them, Alex quickly introduced the woman as Monica, his girlfriend of nearly eight years, whom May had told Tracey a little about.

"How'd everything go this morning?" Alex asked after introducing Monica.

"Good, May actually just told me that they're heading to Cerulean Beach now." Tracey informed him.

"And Gary doesn't know?" Alex pressed, Tracey shook his head. "Good, being in Cerulean will give everyone plenty of time to get here without us having to worry about them ruining the surprise."

"I'm telling you, he's going to find out one way or another before they get here." Andrew called as he closed the trunk of his car and picked up two guitar cases while Chris grabbed another one and a small amplifier.

Alex rolled his eyes and shook his head while Monica smiled and turned to the two boys. "As long as he doesn't find out from you telling him, Andrew." She called back, never losing her smile.

"How did you get here so fast, Andrew? You left after us; I hope you didn't lose your brother along the way." Alex spoke up, taking the amp from Chris as they approached the front porch.

"Don't worry, Alex, Nik has four other people in the car to direct him. Besides, he can always follow Damien or Chelsea, their cars are pretty recognizable." Monica reassured him while Tracey opened the door and let everyone in the house just as Bella was coming down the stairs.

Once inside, Tracey took the guitar case from Chris so that he could greet Bella, knowing that the two had kept in touch since Halloween. Alex followed Tracey and Andrew the stairs to ditch the instruments in the music room before heading down to the lab to speak with Professor Oak. Kate and Michelle were already in the music room, Michelle sitting in one of the bright colored armchairs as she finished up her paper for school on her laptop, Kate lying on her stomach on the rug as she read a book with a heavily worn cover while her eevee Shadow slept next to her.

Kate glanced up when they entered and warily eyed Andrew when the blonde teen met her eyes, both obviously recognizing each other from Halloween. Tracey wasn't sure what to expect from the two as he stepped forward and placed a hand on Andrew's shoulder, ready to lead him out of the room.

"I heard you and Gary made up." Andrew said simply, with a slight smile that made Tracey relax a bit.

Kate nodded, sitting up and putting the book down. "Not too long after you guys left." She replied.

Andrew's smile grew as he stepped forward and extended his hand. "We haven't been properly introduced yet, I'm Andrew."

Kate smiled at the politeness that took Tracey by surprise – he had been worried that Andrew's loyalty to Gary would cause problems between him and Kate after everything that had happened on Halloween. Andrew spoke briefly with Kate and greeted Michelle cheerfully before suggesting to Tracey that they go outside to wait for everyone else to arrive.

"How've you been, Trace?" Andrew asked as they walked down the stairs side-by-side.

"Busy." Tracey answered with a slight laugh.

"I can imagine. Still prepping for the research project?"

Tracey smiled. "You should know the answer to that already."

Andrew nodded, grinning as they passed Bella and Chris talking animatedly in the sitting room. "When's Gary finding out about it?"

"Professor Oak is supposed to tell him tomorrow… Gary's been pretty annoyed about it, he thinks that he's been left out of the loop because his grandfather's disappointed with him about school –"

"I guess he'll find out how wrong he is tomorrow." Andrew said, stopping as they reached the front door as a small smirk spread across his face. "You must've been bored with Gary being so busy with Anna lately." He said as he trailed a hand along one of Tracey's arms.

"Bored is one way of putting it…" Tracey replied softly, watching Andrew's smirk fade as he leaned closer, pressing his lips against Tracey's.

Tracey sighed softly and Andrew took the opportunity to slip his tongue into Tracey's mouth while his hands slid into Andrew's hair. The kiss was something he had been desiring since the beginning of November, he hadn't cared whether it came from Andrew or from Gary but he found himself glad it was from Andrew considering he knew that there was a chance of the kiss going somewhere further than a blowjob.

Andrew pulled away slowly, the smirk spreading across his face once more. "Just a preview of what's to come, if you're interested that is." He teased, opening the door and stepping outside as a tiny bright blue convertible that looked a bit like a small Jeep pulled up next to Alex's silver car.

Tracey groaned as he followed Andrew outside. 'He's almost as big a tease as Gary.' He thought sourly as he watched Chelsea climb out of the car and walk around to the back of it, pulling out a small red suitcase and a black gig bag that she slipped over her shoulders like a backpack before pulling a small amp out of the tiny car.

"About time you got here!" Andrew called to her, walking down the steps of the porch to take the amp from her. "I was worried that your car blew up on the road." He joked, Tracey was slightly surprised that Chelsea didn't punch him for the comment.

"I'm surprised it didn't: Geos are so shitty."

"Why do you still drive it?"

"It's tiny enough to get me the cheaper ferry tickets and it has four-wheel-drive. It runs decently for something that cost a thousand dollars. Hey, Tracey, how's it going?"

"Not bad." Tracey answered, taking the amp from Andrew. "Go get the rest of your stuff out of your car, Andrew, I'll show you guys what rooms you're staying in." He led Chelsea in through the front door as Andrew turned and head down the driveway to his Nova.

"How was the drive from Sinnoh?" Tracey asked as Chelsea followed him up the stairs to the second floor.

"Not too bad since I didn't have Andrew yapping my ear off, he likes to annoy me on long drives." She explained.

"That's a long drive to make by yourself." Tracey commented, thinking of the distance between Pastoria City, where the Sinnoh University of Biological Sciences was located, and Pallet Town.

"It's not so bad actually. I go home to Ascorbia Island during our breaks from school so I'm pretty used to the long drive."

"So, you're from the Islands too." Tracey commented with a small smile. "Did you do your internship with Professor Ivy?" He asked, opening the door to a small guest room with a fairly large bed.

"Yeah, I was one of her assistants for her study on the comparative physiology of dual-water-type pokemon." Chelsea told him as she set the small suitcase on the bed and opened it, pulling out a toiletry bag that she placed in the adjacent bathroom. "I love how every room in this house has its own bathroom. Is it ok if I put my bass in the music room?"

"Sure. I've heard interesting stories about Professor Ivy and her lab assistants." Tracey said as he followed her to the music room.

Chelsea laughed softly. "So have I, apparently she had some wild nights with some of her male assistants a few years ago, supposedly with a female one too but she never acted anything but professionally with the girls. Hi, Michelle." She greeted the other girl as they entered the large room, Tracey noticed that Kate had left the room.

"Dr. Harris said that one of the other girls coming is staying in the same room as you." Tracey reminded Chelsea, not wanting to forget before Chelsea and Michelle got caught up in conversation.

"Yeah, Missy, she's my best friend – should be here soon actually, that is, if Charlotte didn't crash on the way over here."

Tracey watched her plop onto the chair across from Michelle before leaving the room to show Andrew the room that he would be sharing with Chris.

--- --- ---

Gary gazed out the window of his sister's small Volkswagen, mildly annoyed that they hadn't taken his car which was more spacious and much faster, even more annoyed that he was stuck in the backseat and not allowed to touch the radio as May and Anna controlled it from the front seats.

"Someone's looking a bit grouchy back there." May cheerfully observed, glancing in her rearview mirror.

Anna turned slightly to look at Gary. "He wishes he was in Sinnoh." She told May.

"Ah. So you can make out with Andrew?" May asked with a grin, laughing slightly at the scowl she received. "You know, you never did tell me what happened after you left the room last year. You weren't the only one to disappear that night, Andrew was strangely absent too."

Anna laughed, turning to see a faint blush spread across Gary's cheeks as he stared out the window. "I've heard that story, and a few others too. It's the same thing he did with Tracey during Michelle's birthday party."

"Anna."

"What's the matter, Gary? Afraid she's going to tell me something I'd already guessed before you told me?" May asked, exiting the freeway for a smaller highway heading north towards Cerulean City.

"I'm just tired." Gary said after a moment, ignoring May and Anna.

"Now is that from the sex this morning or is that from the hangover?" May teased, glancing in her mirror in time to see him roll his eyes before looking down at Umbreon who was sitting next to him and scratching her behind the ears.

Gary was silent for several minutes, smiling slightly as Umbreon nuzzled his thigh happily as he continued to rub her ears. "Why exactly did we go out last night? Couldn't we have just waited until tonight?"

May and Anna exchanged nervous glances and Gary noticed the speed on the speedometer climb slightly as May contemplated her answer.

"Because we wanted to do something with just us teenagers." Anna replied, not missing a beat.

She turned to see Gary narrow his eyes at her, looking wary. "We couldn't have done that today? And why is it you_ have_ to go to Pewter today, May?"

"Well, I suppose I could've gone a different day but I figured you wouldn't want to just sit home all day." May said slowly, trying to think of a way to change the subject to something less dangerous.

"Riiight." Gary said sarcastically, drawing out the word as he wondered why May was dancing around the question. He could tell she wasn't being totally honest by the way her shoulders tensed ever so slightly and her grip on the steering wheel tightened.

--- --- ---

"Ok, now this is called the fretboard, and this here – "

"I'm ignorant, not stupid, Andrew." Tracey reminded him, looking up to meet Andrew's amused brown eyes.

They were sitting on the wide steps of the front porch, waiting on the others to arrive, one of Andrew's guitars balanced on Tracey's lap as Andrew showed him different things, his small amp plugged into the outdoor outlet. The white V-shaped guitar sat uncomfortably in Tracey's lap while the strings felt foreign to him and the strap dug into his shoulder.

Andrew laughed softly and pointed to the third string from the top at a fret near the head of the guitar neck. "This is the fifth fret, you're playing on _this _string by the way," Andrew tugged on the string he was pointing at. "Now, press your index finger here. Hit the string, Trace, wrong string! _This _one!" Tracey snickered as he hit the two strings below the one Andrew had indicated and promptly dropped the pick Andrew had given him. Andrew shook his head. "Only hit one string, now try again, fifth fret with your index finger… good, now put your middle finger on the eighth fret, same string… ring finger on the tenth. Ok, do the whole thing again, in order." Andrew watched with a grin, trying not to laugh as Tracey tried to follow his instructions, wishing Gary was there to see Tracey's pitiful attempts that were being made only at Andrew's bored insistence. "Ok, good… do it again… now, after you do that, go back to five, now eight – middle finger, Trace – now ring finger on eleven… good, middle finger on ten. Play those four for me… Good now do the whole thing."

Tracey continued doing as Andrew told him, feeling like an idiot as he kept messing up, frowning as he tried to remember which frets were which. Andrew watched him for a few minutes before telling him to try speeding up as he got it down. As he smiled at Tracey's poor playing, he wondered what was taking everyone so long. He hoped his speedy driving hadn't caused his younger brother, who Andrew suspected had been following him, to get lost; he figured Nik and his friends had stopped for food along the way but still wondered why they were running so much later than he had been.

"Hey, good job!" Andrew exclaimed after Tracey played the riff perfectly after several failed attempts.

"Is this Smoke On The Water?" Tracey asked with a frown that caused Andrew to snicker.

"Yes, it is. I'm surprised Mr. I-don't-know-anything-about-music was able to figure that out." Andrew teased as Tracey punched him lightly in the arm. "You've been spending too much time with Gary, his violent tendencies are rubbing off on you."

"Gary's not violent, well… unless he's playing soccer."

Andrew winced slightly. "Yeah, slide tackle?" Tracey nodded. "Ouch. Yeah, we used to play soccer a lot between classes – you know, blow off some steam before doing homework. Anyway… you want to do a different song? You look like you're not fond of Deep Purple."

"Yes, please."

"Alright." Andrew frowned for a moment as he thought before a grin spread across his face. "Ok, same string as before. Five, eight, eight, ten, ten – fingering doesn't matter for that part – now, middle on thirteen, index on twelve; repeat, thirteen – "

"Isn't this an Ozzy song?" Tracey interrupted, recognizing the song from the classic rock radio station that May often played.

Andrew looked at him in surprise. "Black Sabbath." He corrected, still surprised that Tracey had recognized the song.

"Oh… It sounds like Ozzy."

"Ozzy was in Black Sabbath before he got kicked out and went solo." Andrew explained.

Tracey nodded slightly, slipping the strap over his head and handing the guitar to Andrew, who took it and began playing. Tracey found that he enjoyed watching Andrew play the melodies that randomly flowed into each other as much as he had enjoyed watching Gary play the complex melodies that flowed smoothly into each other in a way that Tracey hardly noticed that it wasn't just one long melody.

Andrew looked up after playing for a moment. "You know," He began slowly, setting down the guitar and switching off the amp as an older looking lime green car pulled up. "You looked pretty cute trying to play." He stood up with a grin and leapt off of the porch to greet their new arrivals, leaving a slightly surprised Tracey sitting on the steps for a moment before standing up and walking down the steps.

"What took you guys so long?" Andrew asked as the driver climbed out of the car.

He was tall and muscular, with short spikey hair dyed blue with purple tips and was wearing a pair of cut off jeans with an Iron Maiden shirt and black Converses. "Chill the fuck out, Andrew. You left a good twenty minutes before us." He said with a grin as he walked around the car to open the trunk.

Suddenly a large yellow and white shaped climbed over the driver's seat and jumped out of the open door. The jolteon bounded up to Andrew and happily licked his hand. The driver's seat was suddenly pushed forward as another boy around Tracey's age climbed out; he had short messy brown hair and was wearing grey cargo shorts with a plain white t-shirt. His left eyebrow was pierced and the bottom of a black and white tattoo peeked out from under the sleeve of his left shirt.

"Lola, chill! You just saw him at breakfast!" He exclaimed as the jolteon tried playing with Andrew.

The jolteon, Lola, noticed Tracey as he approached the group and ran to him, sniffing his hands thoroughly before bouncing up to lick his face.

"Lola! Down!" The brunette called as Tracey laughed and kneeled down to pet the excited canine. "Sorry, she's excited to be out of the car." He apologized as he drew closer to Tracey and extended his hand. "I'm Jon."

"Tracey, nice to meet you." Tracey continued petting Lola as a pale boy with long white blonde hair wearing jeans and a black t-shirt climbed out of the passenger seat to help the blue-haired driver pull bags out of the trunk along with a guitar case.

"Trace! Come here!" Andrew called to Tracey from less than ten feet away where he was standing next to the car, talking to the two boys.

Tracey walked over, the jolteon turning to Jon and leaning against his leg.

"You must be Tracey, I've heard Andrew and Gary talk about you." The blonde boy said before introducing himself as Shawn, Tracey recognized his name from the night before when Gary had said something about Kate getting along with him.

"Yeah, Gary mentioned you yesterday actually." Tracey replied, hastily continuing as he noticed Andrew's worried look. "He was telling Kate that he wanted to bring her up to Sinnoh one day because he thinks they would get along." He explained.

Andrew continued to frown. "It's interesting that he mentions that randomly the day before we all show up, I swear, he's got to be on to it – Gary's not gullible enough to fall for something like this."

"You're over-thinking it – your idea of Gary figuring it out isn't some Malcolm Chaos Theory crap that's going to come true in the end no matter what." Shawn said, picking up a black laptop bag and a small matching duffle bag, Tracey grinned as he recognized the book reference.

The driver finally closed the trunk. "That's everything, let's start getting everything in before Charlotte runs it all over – can't you control your cousin, Jon?" He complained as Jon picked up a duffel bag and a backpack before turning to Tracey. "Sorry, I'm Damien." He said as he picked up the remaining duffle bag and the guitar case. "We would've been here around the same time as Andrew but we got a bit hung up trying to get Tim to understand the directions – not an easy feat. Anyway, Andrew, Nik should be here any minute, he _was_ right behind us but I think they stopped at a Burger King or a Seven-Eleven on the way so Logan could stock up on food, damn picky-ass eater, and people complain about Gary, Charlotte, and Chelsea not eating meat – at least they actually eat real food!"

"Don't mind Damien, Tracey, he's always like this after driving." Andrew assured Tracey as he led everyone up the driveway and into the house where they carefully made their way up the stairs to one of the larger guest rooms with two queen-sized beds in it.

"Hey, since there's two beds big enough for two people, why don't we move Chris in here too?" Andrew suggested as the three guys set down their belongings and Lola sniffed every inch of the room. "Then we can bunk together, Trace, and let someone else have the room that I'm in with Chris right now."

Tracey thought for a moment, trying to remember who was supposed to be staying in what room before nodding. Andrew quickly moved his bag to Tracey's room, informing Chris in the hallway that he was going to be rooming with the other three boys. Tracey noticed that Chris seemed relieved about the change in plans as he followed Tracey and Andrew back to the front yard so that he could gather his belongings from Alex and Monica's car.

"Hey, Trace, there's only like twelve rooms on the second floor right?" Andrew asked, watching a brown van come down the road.

"Technically thirteen, that music room was two rooms, there's ten bedrooms – including mine, Gary's, May's, and Anna's – and then there's the study. Why?"

"Does Professor Oak have a room up there? I would think with how late Anna and Gary stay up that he wouldn't want to stay upstairs."

"No, he has a suite above the lab that he stays in, it's not even connected to the house, you can only get to it through the lab." Tracey explained, watching the van stop and several teenagers climb out.

The driver was a boy that looked startlingly similar to Andrew, with hair longer than Andrew's and a darker shade of blonde but with eyes exactly like Andrew's and a small beard, he was wearing camouflaged cargo shorts with a Cradle of Filth shirt and black sneakers.

"What the hell took you so long?" Andrew asked, stalking towards him.

"We got lost because you sped the fuck off so we turned around and went back to the fucking hotel and waited for Damien to leave so we could follow him." He snapped irritably as he opened side door.

A boy with extremely curly shoulder-length black hair and a small goatee wearing khaki shorts, a Megadeth shirt, and flip-flops climbed out of the passenger seat holding an energy drink as a red Ford Taurus pulled up behind the van. "Yeah, Andrew, the whole way here I was telling him '_Macht schnell, macht schnell_!', but he doesn't listen and we stopped at Seven-Eleven." He watched a girl climb out of the red car. "You know how it is in the car – must go faster!" He yelled the last part to the girl who replied with a laugh.

Andrew turned to Tracey. "This is Logan and blondie over there is Nik, he's my little brother." Andrew explained, watching a flareon climb out of the back of the van and stretch before lazily walking to Andrew. "And this here is Ozzy" He said, gesturing to the flareon who wagged his tail happily. "Nik named him when he was twelve, which makes Ozzy five... You can guess where the name came from."

Nik and Logan began pulling a few guitar cases and amps out of the back while three other boys climbed out, lugging duffel bags with them. A boy in torn jeans, scruffy sneakers, and a Rush shirt with shoulder-length wavy deep red hair was talking to another boy with long black hair who was wearing black shorts and a Dimmu Borgir shirt with black sneakers.

"Well, see what happened was – " The red-head was explaining, seeming bouncy and excited but somewhat detached.

"Gah! Goddammit, Ben! You're worse than Tim!" The other boy interrupted, throwing his hands in the air.

"These two lovebirds are Ben – he's the fire-crotch – and David – he's the pissy one." Andrew introduced them as the third boy picked up a guitar case and an amp before turning to Tracey.

He had short light brown hair and grey eyes and seemed more relaxed than the other four boys. "I'm Danny. Sorry about those four, they're, well," He shrugged, at loss for words. "They're in bad moods, let's put it that way.

Tracey laughed nervously, grateful when Chris appeared at his side, a laptop bag and backpack slung over his shoulder and another bag in hand. "They'll chill out after a few minutes, don't worry about it. Want me to show them up to their room? It's the big one next to the study, right?"

"Yeah, that would great. Thanks, Chris!" Tracey called over his shoulder as Chris turned to the five teens while Andrew grabbed Tracey's arm and started dragging him to the other car.

"Charlotte the harlot!" Andrew called in a singsong voice as he approached the driver of the red car.

She turned with large grin. "Andrew!" She called back cheerfully. "I haven't seen you for a whole hour! I missed you!" She was pretty and seemed friendly as she introduced herself to Tracey. He noticed a small ring on her left ring finger, dainty and silver, with an opal set between two small peridots; on her left wrist was a tattoo of three symbols overlaying an intricate design of a music symbol he recognized from sheet music, on her other wrist was a delicate silver charm bracelets with charms in the shapes of the evolved forms of eevee. She had layered shoulder-length hair that was dark brown with red highlights and bright green eyes, a lip ring like Andrew's and Gary's, a small nose ring in her right nostril and wore pentagram shaped earrings. She wore faded jeans with a Nightwish shirt that had been cut into a halter top and when she turned, Tracey could see another tattoo on her right shoulder blade, an intricate Eye of Horus; around her neck was a leather cord with a fossilized tooth on it. Tracey was surprised to notice three pokeballs on her studded belt as she started pulling bags out of the trunk of the car.

Tracey turned his attention to the other four people who were climbing out of the car, one of them was a tall boy with broad shoulders and long blonde hair almost as dark as Nik's was. He began saying something about music to Andrew when Charlotte's voice interrupted him. "Tim, get over here and help!"

Andrew chuckled softly and shook his head, leaning towards Tracey. "Tim's Charlotte's fiancée, he's a bit of an airhead to be honest – almost as intelligent as Gary but doesn't show it very well…"

Another girl was a medium-height with a thin build and shoulder-length burgundy hair wearing jeans and a long-sleeved black thermal shirt and a black and red striped beanie, the girl with her was shorter with wavy chin-length platinum blonde hair with bright pink highlights and several earrings wearing tight jeans, a low cut red shirt and heels. The remaining boy had short light red hair and light brown eyes, he wore jeans and a long-sleeved button-down white shirt, a large metal charm hung over the shirt from a leather cord.

"Guys, this is Tracey." Andrew said when they were all out of the car. "This is Missy, Liana, and Shane." He pointed to the girl with the beanie, the blonde girl, and the red-haired boy in turn. "You've already met Charlotte and I already told you who Tim is. Is this everyone now? No, we're still waiting on Ashley and Beth, aren't we?"

Charlotte nodded in response as she picked up a coffin-shaped guitar case and showed it to Andrew who grinned at it before picking up a camera bag and laptop case that were next to the car. "Careful with the camera – I just got a macro lens two weeks ago from Ebay, you have no idea how long it took me to find one that cheap." Charlotte warned, picking up a backpack and grabbing the handle of a small lime green and purple suitcase on wheels.

Shawn, Chris, and Jon came out of the house just then and helped everyone gather up bags and a guitar case belonging to Tim so that Tracey could show them to their rooms before the last two girls arrived.

"Be quiet when you go inside, Dr. Harris is on the phone with May in the living room. She probably has her cell on speaker phone since she's driving and with Gary in the car… You get the idea." Chris warned, shooting Andrew a significant look that clearly told him not to utter a sound.

--- --- ---

Almost an hour later, everyone had put their belongings in their rooms, all of the instruments had been brought into the music room (Tracey had left Andrew in charge of that task), and Alex had gotten off of the phone with May and confirmed that all was going well before disappearing back to the lab. Tracey had been introduced to the last two arrivals. Beth was a pretty Hispanic-looking girl with long dark brown hair that hung to her waist in braids and several piercings, she wore a black miniskirt with black and red striped stockings, boots, and a band shirt that was cut up like several of Anna's shirts to reveal a large tattoo of an Asian-looking tree with sprawling roots and branches with orange and red leaves that covered her back. Ashley was Beth's girlfriend and Tracey recognized her from a picture he had seen months ago on Gary's computer. She was pretty and energetic, similar in personality to Charlotte. Ashley's black hair was much longer than Charlotte's and was nearly has curly as Logan's, she had two piercings in her right eyebrow, a nose ring, several earrings and a pierced navel with a pentagram shaped charm hanging there. She wore jeans and a cropped black shirt that showed her belly and a tattoo on her lower back of a pentagram framed on either side by a crescent moon. Beth had brought her impressively sized drum set, which took nearly half an hour for Beth to assemble in the music room with help from Chris, Damien, and Jon, the other drummers who were present.

Tracey enjoyed being able to sit back and talk with everyone, he liked listening to them tell stories and explain things that he didn't understand. He felt incredibly accepted by the large and diverse group and it made his heart soar as he sat in the music room with Andrew to his right, his left arm stretched across the back of the couch behind Tracey's shoulders, and everyone else spread around the large room.

He was happy to learn that he wasn't the only one, aside from Michelle, Kate, and Bella, that didn't play an instrument. Missy, Liana, Shane, and Shawn didn't play any instruments and while the rest of the group did, most were quick to admit their flaws. Jon claimed he was horrible with guitar and was an amateur drummer with beginner skills – despite being the drummer in a band with Nik, David, Ben, and Damien. Damien was apparently a great drummer but claimed he was strictly a rhythm guitarist, incapable of playing more complex leads or solos. Everyone swore that Beth was the best drummer in the room, with Chris being a close second, but she was quick to admit she was utterly tone deaf with all other instruments. Charlotte was a beginner bassist and said it was the furthest she'd gotten with any instrument – Jon and Tim were quick to agree – she explained to Tracey that she started with drums when she was younger but had no sense of time, then moved to guitar when she was fourteen but still barely knew more than a few beginner songs – which she played wrong, according the other guitarists – she had moved on to keyboard at some point but never practiced so never improved. She had lived with Chelsea, Missy, and Ashley for a year and it was during that time that Chelsea began teaching her how to play bass. The conversation had soon turned to contemplation between the more advanced musicians.

"I can solo and tap really well but my tremolo picking is shit and my theory is shaky, I have a hard time with key changes and making things flow. Tim and Danny are probably best at theory – they teach guitar in Sinnoh." Andrew explained to Tracey.

"Gary's actually better at theory and playing than me." Danny quickly interrupted in his quiet voice – Tracey had observed that he was very quiet and seemed to be quite thoughtful.

"True, he's really good at making things flow together and his key changes are actually a lot better than mine. " Tim admitted.

"Tim's our resident virtuoso." Ben said as he shifted his weight in his chair, he seemed to be utterly incapable of sitting still.

Nik laughed at that comment and it sounded startlingly like Andrew's laugh. "That's for sure – try playing his bass lines!" Since they had been in the music room, Tracey had noticed that Nik was very laid back, quite different from Andrew, who Tracey knew could be obnoxious when there wasn't a somewhat serious conversation going on. Apparently Nik was in his second band with Tim where he played bass guitar.

"How does Gary compare to you guys with guitar?" Tracey asked Andrew and Tim curiously, the impression he got was that Tim was the best guitarist in the room, and, from watching them play around Halloween, it seemed that Andrew and Gary were close in capability.

Andrew and Tim thought for a moment. "We're pretty close actually." Tim admitted.

Andrew nodded. "I'm the worst at theory, that's for sure, and definitely the worst at tremolo picking."

"I'm probably the best at theory overall, basing on breadth of knowledge; Gary's the best out of all of us at tremolo picking." Tim replied.

"He's fast as hell but his sweep arpeggios are sloppy – don't tell him I said that, Trace, he'll get annoyed."

"I'm best at arpeggios, you two are probably tied with tapping; I'm pretty bad with tapping actually." Tim said as Andrew's cell phone suddenly went off with the chorus of a recognizable Iron Maiden song.

"Speak of the devil, here's Satan himself." Andrew muttered, pulling out the phone and reading the message before sending one back, typing the message faster than Tracey could read it.

They continued chatting as Andrew's cell phone went off several more times over the next few minutes as Andrew spoke with Gary.

"Piru vieköön!" Andrew suddenly hissed, eyes going wide as he stood up. "I'm going to leave you all with a Malcolm quote before I go: boy, do I hate being right all the time."

He hurried to the door and rushed into the hallway, his rapid footsteps on the stairs echoing through the empty hall. Charlotte and Logan exchanged nervous glances as Tracey stood and quickly followed Andrew to the lab.

Shawn turned to Kate, who was sitting next to him on the window seat where they had been chatting for the last forty-five minutes. "Please tell me you're a Michael Crichton fan." He said, realizing that they hadn't mentioned his favorite author yet.

Kate grinned. "I'm not big on that genre but I love _Jurassic Park_ and _Congo_." She admitted, understanding why Gary had said she would get along with this quiet and pale blonde boy.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Holy crap, I realized how much I changed Gary and Tracey from their real characters! Wow. Anyway, I figured I would point out that I'm not even really trying to portray them as their anime characters, I've pretty much turned them into OCs anyway! *laughs* There will be a spin-off of this chapter as well as the next few chapters, which I will probably post after the next few chapters are finished, I'll most likely do a chapter a week for that one but it will be short.

When Gary comments on the originality of Anna turning on Nightwish in the car, I was making fun of myself because I was reading through some of the past chapters and noticed how many times that band is mentioned. The album she has Tracey put in after getting annoyed at Gary's comment is Rhapsody's Dawn of Victory and the song that Tracey recognizes is Village of Dwarves; check them out, if you like Lord of the Rings, you'll probably like them – they're very fantastical.

Andrew showing Tracey how to play guitar was just for funsies – Tracey needed to keep Andrew busy and out of everyone's hair for awhile. As mentioned, Andrew first shows Tracey Smoke On the Water and then shows him Iron Man. That scene actually caused me to pick up my own guitar for the first time in months – the last time being when I decided to learn Raining Blood by Slayer just to annoy my friends and amuse myself because we don't like Slayer. : ) Not much I can say about that. Also, Andrew's guitar is one of the white Alexi Laiho signature models in case anyone cares.

Shawn's Malcom Chaos Theory comment is a Jurassic Park reference as is Logan shouting "Must go faster" at Charlotte. Andrew calling Charlotte "Charlotte the harlot" is referencing the Iron Maiden songs Charlotte the Harlot and 22 Acacia Avenue. Andrew's cell phone ring tone is Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden and when he says his "Malcom quote", he is quoting Jurassic Park – I believe the fourth JP reference in this entire fic, the third in this chapter – any guesses as to my favorite movie?

By the way, the next chapter picks off just before this one ends but with a different character.

Foreign language stuff:

_Macht Schnell_ – German for "hurry up"

_Piru vieköön_ – Finnish for "oh fuck"


	25. Chapter 25: Distractions

**Beyond The Walls**

::NOTE – this was originally supposed to be part of the last chapter but once chapter 24 hit 20 pages in MS Word, I decided to start another chapter! Enjoy!

This chapter picks up just before the end of the last one, it begins just before Andrew's phone goes off (so no one gets confused). I realize how daunting so many new characters can be so I'll leave you with a quick note on that – most characters will just be background noise, so to speak, the important ones are Charlotte, Shawn, Damien, Ashley, and Jon. Shawn's importance will become more clear after the next few chapters, he went to school with Gary, Andrew, Chelsea, and Chris and is good friends with Gary. Charlotte is one that is mentioned a lot, she's been good friends with Chelsea since childhood and good friends with Shawn since they were teenagers and she became close friends with Gary and Andrew as a result. Damien is Monica's (Alex's girlfriend) nephew and is good friends with Chris so he kind of keeps Gary and Andrew in line. Ashley is good friends with the group, her importance will also become clearer later on. Jon is one of Andrew's best friends and is Charlotte's younger cousin and also has a jolteon named Lola. A few other noteworthy characters: Nik (Andrew's younger brother), Tim (Charlotte's fiancée), Missy (Chelsea's best friend), Beth (Ashley's girlfriend).

Chapter 25: Distractions

Gary was somewhat worried as he leaned against the railing of the boardwalk at the Cerulean Beach, waiting on Anna and May to finish in the bathrooms while Umbreon sat next to him, facing the ocean and sniffing the air with a content look on her face.

Everything seemed somewhat off.

Everyone had been curiously busy today, yet they had all decided to have an evening out followed by a night of drinking; May wasn't being entirely honest with him and had insisted on him going out with her and Anna when Alex was supposed to be arriving in Pallet, Anna was being strangely quiet and kept exchanging unreadable looks with May. Even when Alex had called he seemed to be acting strange – he and Monica had wished him a quick happy birthday and asked how the morning had gone. They seemed particularly interested in their plans for the day, which seemed strange considering Gary was with May and Anna and obviously couldn't get into any trouble with them. He was surprised that none of his friends had called him to wish him a happy birthday, surely some of them – namely Charlotte, who was ever nosey and quick to call for any occasion; Shawn, who called often to chat and see how things were going; Ashley, who was hyper and sweet and never missed an opportunity to chat online or over the phone; or Damien, Monica's twenty-year-old nephew who had quickly become a good friend and continued to keep in touch over the months – would call at some point.

Annoyed and a bit confused, Gary did the best thing he could think of at the moment and sent Andrew a message on the phone.

'_Cunt._ _Wie geht es?_'

It was less than a minute before Andrew had responded.

'_Happy b-day, vittu. Nichts, warum?'_

'_No reason. Sehst du Alex today?'_

'_Ja. Why?'_

Gary grinned to himself at Andrew's words as he sent back a noncommittal message saying something about not hearing from Alex yet. He'd been told yesterday that Alex had left Sinnoh with Monica in the afternoon and that they were staying in a hotel for the night once they reached Kanto so that they could arrive in Pallet in the morning. Andrew had supposedly already left to visit his grandparents in western Sinnoh a few days before.

"What are you looking so happy about?" May asked as she walked towards him from the bathrooms.

Gary glanced up in surprise, having not noticed her until she spoke. "No reason." He replied as he sent Andrew another message.

'_I have to ask, is there something planned?'_

It was over a minute before Andrew's response came and the hesitation was all he needed to confirm that something was off despite the message saying otherwise.

'_No. Why would we? You would figure it out anyway and I'm in Sinnoh.'_

--- --- ---

"I hate you tell you this, but we have a bit of a problem."

Alex and Professor Oak looked up in surprise when Andrew appeared in the lab suddenly with Tracey close behind him.

"May's supposed to call if he figures it out." The professor said with a slightly worried expression.

Alex pondered this for a brief moment. "She can't if she doesn't know; I wouldn't entirely put it past him to play along with it if he did find out somehow. But what exactly do you mean, Andrew?"

"He at least suspects something, I'm not sure what though."

"What should we do?" Tracey asked.

"Nothing for now, we'll worry about it if he does find out." Professor Oak replied.

Alex nodded in agreement. "May's supposed to call when they leave Cerulean City, if he's sure there's something going on we may have to tell him that Andrew's here so that he'll stop wondering. We'll worry about that when the time comes though."

"In the mean time, Tracey, could you take the lab Jeep out into the reserve and park it on that hill in the grass pokemon area? That way it will look like we're busy out there with the pokemon and I'll also need you to move the van to the driveway so that everyone can move their cars to the lab garage. I'd also like it if you and Andrew took the van to go pick up food and drinks for the party."

Tracey nodded, taking the van keys from the professor and taking the keys to the Jeep out of his pocket. The Jeep wasn't used for the lab very often, mostly just whenever something happened to one of the larger pokemon and they needed to bring equipment out into the reserve to treat it, Professor Oak considered it to be mostly Tracey's car and let him use it whenever he wanted, on the rare occasion that Tracey actually drove. Andrew followed him out of the lab and down a path to the large garage behind it, pausing at the large door so that Tracey could enter a number on the keypad to open it.

Andrew gave a low whistle when the door opened to reveal a garage with enough room for many more cars than it was currently holding. "All this for just two cars?" He asked.

"That's what I thought when I first got here. Professor Oak said that they used to have a few more Jeeps and some other vehicles when the lab had more people working in it, we don't really need all of that now that he works mostly in the lab and not in the field. Apparently his son restored that Camaro of Gary's in here too." Tracey explained.

"Gary told me that part. It's one of the reasons he likes that car so much." Andrew snickered before continuing. "Alex says that Gary was conceived in the back seat after an Iron Maiden concert."

Tracey laughed as he climbed into the driver's seat of the Jeep, gesturing for Andrew to climb in. "That would explain a lot." He said, starting the ignition.

--- --- ---

The beach was nearly deserted, partially because it was early December, partially because it was a Thursday during the week of exams at the nearby university. The water was empty except for a few wetsuit-clad surfers perched on their boards, looking bored with the small waves that came. Only four people were spread out on the fishing pier, which was normally packed during warmer months. There was a small group of students sitting on a blanket on the sand with text books and notes spread around them, apparently studying for an upcoming exam; the sight served as an uncomfortable reminder to Gary of late nights spent studying in the living room with Andrew and Chelsea, afternoons wasted typing reports that he couldn't even remember the topics of, and hours lost to worries that had been a waste of time.

Further down the beach was a girl several years younger than Gary with a wartortle and a boy the same age with a charmander. Glancing at May and Anna, Gary knew they too were remembering coming to the same beach so many years ago. The older girls spent their time swimming or sunbathing while Gary, with his own wartortle, trained with Kate and her charmander. Those first several months of training had been fun but frustrating as the two young trainers tried to learn the best ways to work with their pokemon. Gary noticed that Umbreon seemed excited at the sight of the practice battle in the distance and smiled down at her, sliding his hand along her sleek coat.

"Sorry, girl, it wouldn't be fair to them." He told her, earning a reproachful glare in response – had it really been that long since he'd allowed her to battle with the other pokemon at the lab?

May leaned over Umbreon to speak quietly to her brother as Anna appeared at Gary's other side. "Why don't you and Anna go for a walk? I'll play with Umbreon while you two are gone."

Gary nodded and took Anna's hand, leading her towards the stairs leading down to the sand from the boardwalk; he could hear May and Umbreon follow them down the stairs but their footsteps didn't follow them far along the shore. Gary stayed a good distance from the water as he and Anna walked bare foot and hand-in-hand along the beach, worried that Anna would try to push him in the water, as she usually did.

Anna walked slowly, occasionally stopping to pick up pieces of broken sand dollars or pieces of sea glass, quietly enjoying the sound of the waves combined with the feel of the cold sea breeze while Gary carefully watched their path for washed up jellyfish and sharp shells. They walked together for a long time, passing few people, turning to head back the way they came only when they realized that they couldn't see May anymore.

They were deep in conversation, now able to see May far in the distance with Umbreon, when Anna suddenly gasped and looked down to see that she had tread on a jellyfish.

"You're lucky it was just one of these, their stings aren't too bad – it shouldn't hurt so badly if you sit down for a bit." Gary said after glancing at the squishy creature, leading Anna to a spot to sit on the sand.

Anna sat with her legs crossed, smiling as Gary kneeled in front of her. "Damn cnidarians and their nematocysts. At least it wasn't a cubozoan." She said offhandedly with a grin.

Gary stared at her dumbfounded for a moment. "What did you just say?" Anna repeated it, still grinning at him before laughing at his next words. "God, you're sexy." He leaned forward and kissed her hungrily, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer.

Anna laughed as she pulled away, grabbing his hands and holding them gently as they sat facing each other. "I love you." She giggled without thinking, realizing what she had just said when the smile faded from Gary's face and his eyes widened.

His eyes fell to their hands and Anna could feel them tremble ever so slightly as their grip on her own hands tightened. Gary looked up at her after a moment that seemed to stretch on and on, he opened his mouth to speak and promptly closed it as if he couldn't speak.

Finally, after silently meeting Anna's eyes for a few seconds that felt like an eternity, Gary raised his hands to lightly cup Anna's face before hesitantly moving forward to kiss her. Anna returned the soft kiss, sliding her hands to the back of his neck as they kissed for a long time, barely parting only when they needed air. After a long while, Anna pulled away and turned so that her back was resting against Gary's chest, smiling contentedly as his arms slid around her and their hands effortlessly sought each other's. Feeling his lips brush against her temple, Anna turned just enough for their lips to meet again, kissing softly and languidly for several minutes before she pulled away again.

"Happy birthday." She whispered against his lips. Gary gazed at her through half-closed eyes, not saying anything until she spoke again. "Was this worth putting up with May and I not letting you touch the radio on the way over?"

"Totally." He sighed softly before kissing her lovingly.

--- --- ---

Tracey was sitting in Professor Oak's van in the driveway, waiting for Andrew so that they could go to get everything that they needed for the party, when the front door of the house opened and Andrew approached the old Volkswagen with Charlotte in tow.

"Charlotte's going to tag along; she tends to think of things the rest of us forget about." Andrew explained as he climbed into the passenger seat, frowning at the music that was playing. "Pink Floyd?" He asked skeptically, shooting Tracey a strange look.

Tracey sighed and shook his head. "The professor." He said as if it explained everything.

Charlotte smiled and opened her bag, digging through it before pulling out a cd case and handing it to Andrew.

"Ah, thanks, Charlotte. Lemuria?" Andrew asked, opening one side of the double cd case.

"Yeah. You like Therion, Tracey?"

Tracey frowned as he backed out of the driveway, trying to connect the name to the band. "I think so." He replied, turning onto the road and heading towards town.

They spent the short drive talking about school, Andrew explained that the only other person in the group who went to school with him and Gary was Shawn, who had graduated at the same time as them; Chelsea had just graduated the week prior while Chris had graduated a year earlier than the three younger boys. Charlotte, Jon, and Liana all were going to the same four year university in Sunyshore City – only about thirty minutes from where they lived in Pastoria City. Charlotte was apparently in her junior year for a biology education degree, which surprised Tracey – he hadn't pictured her as the teaching type with her energy. Jon was still in his freshman year and was starting a psychology degree, Charlotte said he wanted to become a therapist, Andrew explained in an uncharacteristically small voice that Tracey would understand why if he had gone through everything Jon had and then changed the subject before Tracey could ask. Liana was in her junior year, like Charlotte, but was doing some sort of computer degree that neither Andrew nor Charlotte could remember. Most of the rest of the group went to a community college in Pastoria: Tim and Logan were both going for humanities degrees while David went for music, Danny went for journalism, Missy went for business, and Shane went for art.

"What about everyone else?" Tracey asked as they climbed out of the van in front of a grocery store.

"They don't go to school." Charlotte said. "Beth's family is really rich so she doesn't need to go and Ashley inherited an eevee breeding program from her mother so she doesn't have time for it."

"What about Nik and Ben?"

Andrew frowned deeply at Tracey's question. "They don't go to school and don't plan on it. They're perfectly content with working minimum wage jobs and trying to make it in metal bands that will never go anywhere." He replied bitterly.

Tracey remained silent, unsure of how to respond as they walked into the store. Charlotte grabbed a shopping cart and passed it off onto Andrew before taking one for herself and instructed Tracey to lead the way.

"First thing we need is a ton of Poweraide – and I do mean a ton – hydration is key."

"Damn, I forgot about that entirely." Andrew muttered. "Good thing I brought you, Charlotte, Alex would've killed me if I forgot about that."

"So would Gary, if your hangover didn't get you first, that is." Charlotte retorted, following Tracey down an aisle and grabbing several cases of sports drinks. "Next on the list: acetylsalicylic acid."

"What?"

"Aspirin, Trace, come on – Gary and May both would've gotten that one."

"I'm not Gary, Andrew."

"I definitely learned that last time I was here. Gary's not that great at being bi but he makes a damn good tease." Andrew mused to himself, grinning at Tracey's blush and Charlotte's amused snort.

"Gary finally figure out that sucking you off and enjoying it while liking chicks makes him bi?" Charlotte asked, grabbing several bags of chips as they walked down another aisle.

"Yeah, he and Tracey had some fun during October too, from what I understand. Should we get soda?"

Tracey spent over half an hour walking back and forth across the store with the two as they thought of different things to get, talking the whole time about random subjects.

"I don't even want to know how much this is going to cost." Andrew muttered as they approached the checkout counter with the two shopping carts.

"Don't worry, Professor Oak gave me his credit card and said to get anything, price doesn't matter." Tracey assured him, ignoring the exasperated look the young cashier gave them when Charlotte started unloading the carts onto the conveyor belt.

"That's good because we still need to go to the alcohol store." Charlotte reminded them as Andrew rolled his eyes with a sigh.

--- --- ---

"Don't tell me you two have been sitting here making out for the past hour and a half!"

Anna looked up at May in surprise while Gary ignored her and kissed Anna's neck gently. "Only for the past half hour, we were walking for the other hour." She told the annoyed looking young woman standing before them with Umbreon next to her.

May sighed exasperatedly. "Come on, let's go get lunch." She turned and began walking to the boardwalk as Anna stood up and waited on Gary, who glared at May's retreating back before shooting a disappointed look at Anna.

They walked to a nearby pizzeria that May had always enjoyed and found a table outside in the sun. May observed her brother carefully while Anna went inside to place their food and to call Alex to fill him in on how everything was going. Gary had been quiet since she had interrupted him and Anna on the beach and she was sure that he was annoyed about her interruption though he made no indication that he was. Instead of complaining Gary was slouched in his seat with his feet resting on an empty chair and his arms crossed over his chest. May couldn't see his eyes through the dark lenses of his sunglasses but could tell that he was deep in thought and she had no idea what he was thinking about.

Eager to get her brother out of his deep thought, May began singing along to the Boston song playing over the outdoor radio speakers of the restaurant and dancing in her seat. She frowned when Gary completely ignored her and stopped. "Wow, you are out of it." She observed, trying to think of a way to get his attention. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out, reading the message from Anna saying that Alex had told her that Gary was apparently suspicious of their plans. She sighed as Anna stepped out of the restaurant, holding three drinks.

May watched Anna sit next to Gary and lean her head against his shoulder and sighed, feeling as though she were intruding on the two. She could see that something was different between them, something had changed, and she felt guilty, knowing that they simply wanted to be left alone. She felt even worse when she thought about what was waiting back home and knew that there was no way the two would be able to be alone at all for the rest of the day.

Gary seemed to sense her displeasure and turned away from Anna to face his sister. "What's wrong, May?"

May shook her head dejectedly. "Nothing." She said softly.

Gary frowned and moved his feet off of the chair and sat up straighter in his seat before resting his forearms on the table. "Liar." He teased before sighing and turning serious. "Seriously, May, what's bothering you?"

"I'll tell you later." May finally said, forcing a smile.

Gary nodded slightly, seeming to accept her response. "So… what _is_ planned for today? And don't tell me 'nothing', you've been hiding something all day – both of you."

May's smile disappeared as Anna remembered what Alex had told her on the phone when she had called him a few minutes prior.

Anna sighed dramatically, acting as though his questioning was a larger ordeal than it really was. "Andrew's there." She sighed. "Sorry, May, Alex said we might as well tell him if he asks." She added, giving May a significant look that Gary, thankfully, didn't notice. "He came with Alex and Monica, we wanted to surprise you though."

Gary grinned suddenly. "That's good." He said quietly, thinking of how much he had missed his friend over the past month since he had last seen him.

He was glad to know what the surprise everyone had been trying to keep from him was.

--- --- ---

Tracey was surprised at how many people helped them bring in everything they had bought at the grocery store and the liquor shop when they got back to the house. Damien and Jon were quick to grab bottles of rum, vodka, and tequila while Missy and Ashley helped Charlotte with wine coolers and flavored drinks, leaving Chelsea to bring in drink mixes. Everyone else helped with the food and before long everything was put away in the kitchen or in the refrigerator in the garage, leaving Tracey with little to do.

All of the cars, with the exception of Andrew's Nova, Alex and Monica's Scion, Professor Oak's van, and Michelle's rusty little sedan, had been moved to the massive garage behind the lab. After checking in with Professor Oak and Alex in the lab, Tracey did a quick check around the house to get an idea of where everyone was. He could hear music and laughter coming from the den and figured Andrew and Chris had taken everyone down there. Bella wasn't in the house and Tracey figured she was still out to lunch with her father; he found Kate and Shawn in the sitting room, talking animatedly. Chelsea was hanging out in the living room with Missy, Liana, and Ashley while Lola played on the floor with a glaceon and a leafeon.

Missy greeted him cheerfully while Liana introduced her playful and bouncy leafeon as Spazz and Ashley introduced her glaceon as Midian.

"You'll find we have a lot of eevee-lutions in our group, Tracey." Chelsea said with a laugh. "Ashley breeds eevees, Alex might have told you since she's going to be one of the people helping with specimens for the project."

Tracey nodded and sat down on the couch next to Missy. "Alex said something about that once." He confirmed. "What other evolutions does everyone have?"

Ashley thought for a moment before answering. "Well, Charlotte and Tim have a bunch between them – Charlotte has an espeon named Eva and an umbreon named Luna, they were littermates about a year ago with Tim's umbreon Apollo."

"I take it Charlotte trained them well for them to both evolve like that." Tracey commented, surprised when Chelsea and Ashley shook their heads.

"No, actually. Well, she did train them – Charlotte still trains during summers – but they didn't evolve." Chelsea explained.

"We're still not sure how it happened actually." Ashley said, looking thoughtful. "We had a female espeon and a male umbreon that bred and had a litter of five puppies – two umbreon, one espeon, an eevee, and one that appeared to be a hybrid between an umbreon and an espeon but it was stillborn."

Tracey tilted his head to the side in surprise, pondering what she had just told him – he had heard of cases where things like that happened but none of them were documented and nothing had ever been reproduced, so it was always passed off as either folklore or someone just lying to get attention. Pokemon only gave birth to the base evolution of their line – that was simply the way it worked. Researchers had assumed it was possible for some of the eevee evolutions, like vaporeon, leafeon, and glaceon – ones that lived in specific habitats – could breed and produce litters of puppies that had evolved in the womb but it had never been seen. "What happened to the parents?" He asked.

Ashley sighed, looking saddened. "The umbreon died from pneumonia pretty suddenly and then we had to have the espeon put down because she wouldn't eat or anything. She was just wasting away so we thought it would be best, it was like she had a broken heart and had no will to live."

"Wow. I'm sorry, that's terrible. What about the eevee?"

"Eevee went to a breeder who seemed to really like him but then found out he was sterile. So then Eevee went to a trainer but the trainer didn't want him after he tried to evolve him with a stone – apparently he wouldn't evolve. The trainer brought him back to us and now he's with a better trainer, this girl from Saffron City, about sixteen, specializes in normal and dark type pokemon; anyway, she came to Sinnoh to train and found out about the program and asked if we had any young eevee. Apparently her older one had evolved into an umbreon and she wanted a younger one to keep it company so she took eevee." Missy answered for Ashley.

"I hope the little guy's doing ok with her." Tracey said, Ashley nodded with a smile, explaining that he was doing great and was excellent in battle. "So there's three umbreon, including Gary's; an espeon, a jolteon, a flareon, a leafeon, and a glaceon in the group." Tracey observed. "Does anyone have an eevee or a vaporeon?"

"Tim has an eevee named Lexi, she's the most cuddly thing on the planet and she's really sweet. No one has a vaporeon though; they seem to be really rare for some reason, even amongst water trainers." Chelsea replied, leaving Tracey thoughtful and remembering Professor Oak saying something about being unable to find a vaporeon to use in the study he was about to undertake.

--- --- ---

"Where did May go anyway?" Gary asked Anna in the small store in Pewter City where Anna was currently looking through cds.

"I don't know, she's meeting us at the music store on Sixth Street whenever she's done with whatever it is she needs. We'll head over when we're done here, she can wait on us." Anna replied, pulling out a cd with a squeal. "I've been looking for this one for ages!"

Gary raised an eyebrow at the older Dimmu Borgir album that she was holding and took it from her. "Consider it an early Christmas present." He said flatly, trying to think of where his sister could have possibly gone. The only place he could think of was the music store a few blocks over but she wanted to meet them there so there was obviously something she had to do first, but what?

Anna grinned and threw her arms around him, thanking him happily before turning back to the cds and flipping through some more. Sighing in boredom, Gary rested his forearms on the glass counter next to the cd racks and idly examined the jewelry selection. His eyes fell on a small pentagram charm with a red stone in the center on a long thin silver chain. Glancing at the dangling earrings that Anna was wearing, he noticed that they matched. Next to him, Anna gave up on the cds and moved on to the clothes, closely examining a t-shirt as though she were trying to decide how she would cut it. Taking the opportunity while she was distracted, Gary picked up the necklace and examined it, paying for it when Anna slipped into the fitting room with a black and purple miniskirt and slipping it into his pocket afterwards.

--- --- ---

May smiled when the spikey-haired teenager returned to the counter holding a long box, he placed the box on the counter and opened it for her. Her smile grew into a large grin as she pushed aside the plastic covering the contents of the box to reveal a purple guitar.

"Oh, he is going to love this; you guys got it in just in time." She said, plucking one of the strings on the guitar she had heard Gary and Anna talking about months before in the kitchen. "What type of strings?" She asked.

"D'Addario, 10 gauge I think."

May frowned, knowing that wasn't going to work. "I need Elixirs for this one; I think 11's would do. What tuning is in, or is it even tuned yet?" The boy told her it was in standard tuning and May frowned again, reaching for a package of stings on the wall next to her. "I need it in C standard with these strings. Think you can do it?" The boy nodded. "How long?"

The boy frowned at the tremolo system. "It would take me close to an hour."

At May's scowl, he turned and called over a man who was cleaning the displayed guitars who looked to be a few years older than May. The man looked at May curiously, his expression changing to surprise when he saw the guitar on the counter.

May smiled flirtatiously. "I need this guitar tuned to C standard in half an hour." She said, lowering her voice and adding a slightly seductive tone while the teenager stalked over to two laughing boys who were fooling around with an amplifier.

The man smiled back at her. "I can do that, anything else?"

May shook her head, still smiling. "I just need to grab a case. Can I pay for the guitar and everything with the case?"

--- --- ---

Anna opened the door to the large music store and walked in ahead of Gary, glancing around for May. May was at a keyboard near the center of the store, playing a classical song while changing to different sound patches. Looking at the counter, she could see a man with his back to them finishing up tuning a guitar while a black case sat on the counter next to him.

"How long have you been here?" Gary asked her as he walked between the other displayed keyboards, casting a scowl in the direction of two teenagers playing guitars horribly.

"Not too long." May answered cryptically.

Gary flipped the power switch on the keyboard next to her and played effortlessly, causing one of the workers to glance over in surprise. "What did you need to get?"

"Oh, nothing too major. Just your birthday gift from Anna and I." May answered with a grin, watching Anna examine the guitars. She smirked when Gary groaned as the boys began playing a Guns N Roses song horribly wrong.

She turned to see Gary stalk across the room to where Anna was, pausing to glance over his options before picking up a green Ibanez and walking over to an amp with a guitar cable. Anna grinned and picked up an orange Jackson and picked out an amp to plug up to. She smirked when the obnoxious boys looked up in amazement as Gary played something fast and complex, switching his left hand over to the top of the neck for certain notes – something Anna knew looked far harder than it really was, Gary had taught her that long ago and it was simple. Gary shook his head slightly, muttering something about ignorant children being easily impressed. Anna merely flashed the boys an arrogant smile and began playing another fast song that Gary quickly began playing the lead to.

May walked to the counter as the man finished up and leaned against it, watching Gary and Anna play. The man at the counter placed the guitar in the case and carefully wiped the finish with a clean rag. May thanked him and marveled at the guitar, trying to imagine Gary's reaction before she closed the case.

"Hey, showoff! Get over here!" May called over, smiling at Gary's slightly confused expression and Anna's huge grin while they put up the guitars and walked over, Anna grabbing Gary's hand and practically dragging him across the room. "This is from both of us, Gary." May told him when they reached the counter, gesturing to the case.

Gary hesitantly opened the case, gasping softly as he immediately recognized the model guitar. "Oh, wow…" He said softly, running his fingers along the smooth finish of the instrument before laughing softly in disbelief. "But I thought you said I wasn't allowed any more instruments, May." He joked, grinning at his sister and girlfriend.

"Well, with how OCD you are, we figured it wouldn't do any good to cut you off at an odd number of instruments." Anna replied teasingly, grinning at May's amused laugh.

"It's already tuned to C standard with Elixir 11's." May explained as Gary gazed at his newest toy. "Come on, Andrew's waiting, Gary!"

--- --- ---

Tracey had gone up to his room just to find a sweatshirt as the temperature dropped when his bedroom door closed and locked suddenly. Startled, he turned to see Andrew leaning against the closed door with his arms crossed over his chest and a small smirk on his face. Tracey smiled and leaned against his desk, mimicking Andrew's posture and smirk, causing Andrew to smile and shake his head slightly.

Andrew uncrossed his arms and strode across the room to Tracey, sliding one hand to the nape of Tracey's neck to lightly grasp his hair before capturing his lips with his own. Tracey closed his eyes and slipped his hands under Andrew's shirt, trailing them slowly along his back, repressing the urge to moan into the kiss as Andrew's tongue slid along his own.

"I thought you wanted to wait until later?" Tracey questioned as they pulled apart for air.

"I do." Andrew agreed, sliding a hand along the bottom of Tracey's shirt before pulling it over his head. "I assume you haven't been with anyone in the past month." He said simply before kissing Tracey again.

Tracey couldn't hold back his groan as Andrew's hand slid along his bare torso, stopping at the waist of his jeans. Andrew's lips slowly began making their way along Tracey's throat and he grinned slightly at the other boy's sighs as Tracey's grip on him tightened.

"If you want to wait for later, then why are we doing this right now?" Tracey gasped between sighs as he felt Andrew's hands undo the fly of his pants.

Andrew dragged him over to the bed, pushing him onto it before climbing up next to him and kissing him again, tugging at Tracey's jeans. "Depending on how the party goes, we might not get a chance until sometime tomorrow. You haven't been with anyone in over a month, I want you to be able to last more than ten minutes later on." With that, he jerked the jeans down roughly and tossed them to the floor.

Tracey gasped as the cool air met his flesh. Shivering slightly from a combination of anticipation and cold, he watched Andrew come closer, sliding a hand between his legs before kissing him fiercely. The combination of the cool metal of Andrew's lip ring pressing against his own lips, the way Andrew's tongue so expertly explored his mouth, and those long fingers wrapping around his hard member drove him crazy with mind-numbing pleasure. He knew Andrew was only teasing him, that what they were doing right now would not go far, yet it filled him with more pleasure than even Gary's perfect lips and warm tongue with that pleasurable piercing sliding over the shaft that Andrew's hand was lightly gripping. He knew that the sex that had taken place between himself and Andrew near Halloween had been greatly diminished by his lust for Gary and by the steamy encounters between him and Gary. It was either the month of celibacy or the fact that he had finally started to move on from Gary, or perhaps even the indescribable connection he felt with the young man currently pressing him into the mattress of the bed, that threatened to push him over the edge of the orgasm he felt building as Andrew's firm hand kept sliding over his hard flesh.

Andrew finally pulled back from the kiss and slid his free hand down Tracey's chest and stomach until it rested on Tracey's thigh. He slowly got off of the boy beneath him and positioned himself between Tracey's legs, moving his hands so that they pinned the slightly-younger boy's hips to the bed. He trailed his moist tongue slowly along Tracey's length, fighting back a smirk at the dark groan it caused, before taking him entirely in his mouth.

--- --- ---

It had been quite some time since Tracey had last seen the large den so full. Bella had returned from lunch and was currently playing pool with Chris, Michelle, and Shane; Kate was still upstairs hanging out with Shawn. Chelsea was still in the living room with the other three girls and the pokemon, apparently waiting to hear from May or Anna. Nik and Logan were playing a video game involving guitar-shaped controllers on a console that Beth had brought with her while Tim, Danny, and David watched and made fun of them for mistakes while criticizing the game. Ben and Beth were apparently having a funny conversation on the couch, judging by the way they were laughing.

Currently, Tracey was watching Andrew and Jon play a game of air hockey, laughing at the two teens as they cursed and shouted at each other from across the table. Music was playing loudly from the stereo system, something with fast drums, faster guitars, and growling vocals; Andrew had commented on a sexy female vocalist, leaving Tracey confused – there was no way those growls and yells came from a woman. Charlotte had been circulating the room, taking pictures of everyone with a large and expensive-looking camera while conversing and joking with everyone.

Tracey was enjoying himself thoroughly when Damien suddenly appeared at his side, saying something about Professor Oak wanting to see him in the lab. Tracey hadn't even noticed his absence until his sudden appearance.

Heading upstairs and down several corridors before hesitating at the large metal door of the laboratory, Tracey wondered what the professor could possibly need him for when Alex and Monica were in the lab with him. Pushing the door open, he heard a familiar voice call his name excitedly.

Immediately recognizing the teen that he hadn't seen in person in over a year, Tracey hurried forward with a grin. "What are you doing in Pallet? I thought you were still in..." Tracey paused, had it been Hoenn or Sinnoh that the trainer had been in when they last spoke?

"I'm taking a break from training. I figured I would come home before it starts snowing and I would stay until my birthday." Ash explained with a grin to match his friend's.

Tracey let his eyes wander over the boy, taking in his appearance and marveling over how little he had changed since Tracey had traveled with him so many years ago. He had grown taller by several inches, though was probably still shorter than himself or Gary, and he was starting to outgrow the awkwardly lanky sixteen-year-old phase Ash had been in when Tracey had last seen him. His black hair was slightly longer than before and as messy as ever. He was wearing worn jeans and a plain t-shirt with old sneakers but, to Tracey's surprise, no hat. The ever-present electric rodent that was usually perched on his shoulder was happily munching on some treats that Monica had given it while watching Professor Oak check on the female arcanine that was approaching her sixth week of pregnancy.

"Is that Gary's arcanine, Professor?" Ash asked, eyeing the sonogram machine as the professor performed an ultrasound on the calm creature.

"No, Gary's is the only male that is regularly around and, in about four weeks, will be the father of five puppies." Professor Oak answered, not looking up from his task.

"Six, Professor." Tracey corrected, walking over the screen and pointing out the puppy he had missed.

"I didn't know you bred any pokemon here…" Ash said, looking interested. Tracey noticed that he seemed more mature than the last time they had seen each other.

"Well, they do it on their own, Ash, they way they would out in the wild –"

"They make their packs and hierarchies and everything here on the reservation just like they would in the wild," Tracey explained, shooting an apologetic look at his mentor for interrupting. "We tend to get a decent amount of babies actually, it's weird for it to happen at this time in the year though. Usually they don't even mate until the spring."

"Pokemon pick up on the traits of their trainers, Tracey." Alex spoke up suddenly, with a knowing smile while Tracey nodded and Ash looked uncomfortable.

"Speaking of Gary – "

"Ash!" Tracey and Ash turned to the source of the voice.

Kate hurried into the room, hugging her friend as soon as she reached him. Shawn and Andrew followed her in, leaning against a lab bench that Alex was sitting at, reading over some papers.

"Anna told him that I'm here." Andrew announced to Alex, who simply nodded in response, not surprised. "They should be here in about an hour and a half."

Tracey walked over to where Andrew and Shawn were, only half-listening to the conversations going on around him: Ash and Kate catching up, Andrew asking Shawn about Kate with a sly grin, and Alex explaining what he was reading to Monica.

"… May said something about some sort of eevee breeding thing…" The conversations stopped abruptly at Kate's words.

"What did May tell you?" Professor Oak asked, looking up from the arcanine.

"She just said that you were about to begin work on a study having to do with eevee breeding, she told me not to bring it up around Gary though." Kate explained.

"Oh cool! You're going to be working with eevees? Gary must be pretty excited about that – does he still want to be a researcher?" Ash asked, seeming excited.

Alex and Professor Oak both looked uncomfortable. "He, uh, doesn't know about it… yet." The professor admitted after a moment. "It's supposed to be a surprise."

"We didn't really think about that last question though, did we?" Alex mused, looking slightly worried.

"I know he's been annoyed about being left out of the loop but he does seem pretty content with hanging out with Anna and the other girls all day." Tracey added.

"That's not going to last much longer though, Tracey, I'm surprised that's lasted this long as it is." Alex said.

"What – Anna and Gary's relationship?" Tracey asked in confusion.

"No, definitely not that. Gary gets bored easily – one of the reasons Anna is the best girl for him – I'm surprised he's been content with just hanging around since August."

"Well, there's been a lot of stuff going on too; I mean, getting used to being back home, starting to date Anna, and then there's the whole summer incident…" Andrew said, his voice trailing off.

Shawn looked over at Andrew with a confused expression on his face. "What incident? You guys said it was alcohol poisoning, something about a lot of 151."

"That's what I had been told too…" Alex said softly, turning back to his papers, clearly uncomfortable with the change in topic.

Tracey noticed how tense the air in the lab had suddenly become; Alex was suddenly intent on reading, Professor Oak was suddenly very interested in the long ears of the canine before him, Monica was suddenly awed by Ash's pikachu while Ash himself was looking back and forth between everyone and was obviously more confused than Shawn. Kate was nervously examining her fingernails while Shawn glared at Andrew, silently demanding an explanation.

"Ask Gary sometime, not tonight though. It's his business to tell, not mine." Andrew said firmly, meeting Shawn's eyes resolutely.

--- --- ---

"What was that all about in there?" Ash asked Tracey as he followed the older teen across the reserve to check on some of Ash's pokemon that had been staying there.

Tracey sighed, knowing that it wasn't his place to tell. "How long has it been since you last saw Gary?" He asked.

Ash thought for a moment. "Maybe two years, he had just moved to Sinnoh for school."

"Closer to two and half years?" Tracey pressed. Ash nodded and Tracey sighed. "Gary's changed a lot since you last saw him, not just physically either."

"I know he's changed over the years, Tracey, but – "

"Ash, I don't think you realize how much he's changed and you probably won't unless he decides to tell you everything that he's told me and I'm not sure he'll even do that considering he kept certain things from Anna and May for months." Tracey interrupted, opening the gate to the grassy field that was reserved for grass pokemon.

"Kate said he's dating Anna now." Ash said after a moment.

Tracey nodded in response. "Look, we're having a surprise birthday party for him tonight, stay for it. You and Gary _are_ on friendly terms, I'm sure he'd like you being there _and_ you'd probably get along pretty well with some of his friends that are here – a bunch of them brought some of their pokemon with them, I know several of them have been trainers at some point."

"I guess I'll stay at least for a little while."

--- --- ---

May turned into the driveway at nearly five in the evening a hit a button on the remote for the garage door. The door opened and she pulled in neatly next to Gary's car and hit the button to close the garage door behind her. She climbed out of the car and pulled the driver's seat forward to carefully take the guitar case out of the backseat while Gary climbed out behind Anna.

The door to the house opened and Andrew slipped into the garage, closing the door behind him and cheerfully greeting the three teens. Gary pushed past Anna to greet him. May and Anna grinned at each other as they watched the two boys hug and immediately begin chatting as May walked into the house and passed the guitar case off to Tracey who hurried upstairs to the music room with it.

Gary paused as they stepped into the kitchen, eyeing the many alcohol bottles on the counter.

"Oh fuck." Gary muttered. 'Andrew was just a distraction… that much alcohol can only mean one thing.' He thought to himself as he reached to his belt to release Umbreon as there hadn't been enough room for her in the tiny car with the guitar in there.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

If anyone has ever been to Sebastian Inlet on the east coast of central Florida, I based my vision of the Cerulean beach off of the north side of the inlet with the pier and all. That place is probably my favorite photography hotspot other than the Brevard Zoo, Busch Gardens, or Sea World in Florida.

As far as what Anna says when she steps on the jellyfish – cnidarians are animals with stinging cells (cnidocytes, also called nematocysts) and cubozoans are box jellyfish (box jelly venom is, if memory serves correctly, the most deadly venom in the animal kingdom). As far as Gary's reaction goes – to a science geek (which all researchers inherently are), knowledge is a real turn on. How did Anna learn about cnidarians and nematocysts? I dunno, I guess she read Gary's general bio 2 notebook from school (I found mine the other day and had at least two full pages of notes on Phylum Cnidaria). Gotta use that knowledge somehow and impressing your boyfriend isn't a bad way (plus I needed a way to sneak in that first "I love you")! Also I've probably mentioned real animals several times now, I imagine things like jellyfish and sharks and dinosaurs and stuff like that would still exist but not be focused on as much as pokemon since they don't learn attack moves and stuff like that.

The guitar May gets Gary (as if he needs another one) is a Paul Allender signature series, with 24 frets and a nice tremolo, which is the one Gary and Anna talk about way back in chapter eight. God, I wish someone would get me that guitar for _my_ birthday, then I might actually play! *laughs*

I also have to say, the scene between Andrew and Tracey is the first _detailed_ guy-on-guy scene I have written so I'm hoping it came out ok (no pun intended). The most detailed guy-on-guy scene I've done was the flashback to Gary and Andrew during May's visit to Sinnoh way way back in chapter thirteen I think. Also, a quick note on ages between the three guys, Gary is the youngest being almost a full year younger than Andrew, Tracey is several months older than Gary but a few months younger than Andrew. As a side note, Shawn is a month or two younger than Andrew, but that's not important at this point in time.

Downstairs in the den, yes, Nik and Logan are playing Guitar Hero, and yes, they are listening to Arch Enemy.

Foreign Language Stuff:

_Wie geht es _ - German for "how's it going?"

_Vittu_ – Finnish for "cunt", it's considered a huge insult in the language but it's used a lot between friends in the metal community, mostly as a result from bands like Children of Bodom (among others from Finland) gaining so much popularity (not that I'm complaining)

_Nichts, warum_ – German for "nothing, why?"

_Sehst du_ – German for "have you seen?"

_Ja_ – German for "yes"

A quick note on random foreign language things… Obviously not all of the characters can speak, or understand for that matter, multiple languages. Andrew can speak German fluently and Finnish semi-fluently, Gary also speaks German fluently and knows a load of Finnish curses and insults (from Andrew of course). Charlotte speaks German semi-fluently and knows a bit of Finnish (a few words other than curses which is more than Gary), Logan speaks some German, and a few people here and there know a word or two from another language (like most people do).

Arch-trainer: You're right, last chapter was definitely a build up, I didn't even want to post it until this one was done because of that but I didn't want to leave the story un-updated any longer!


	26. Chapter 26: Surprise Part 2

**Beyond The Walls**

::NOTE – sorry once more for the delay, I wanted to do an update with more than one chapter for once. This is probably the longest chapter I've written for this fic. There's a bit of drama, a few flashbacks, and, of course, a touch of metal.

Enjoy!

Chapter 26: Surprise Part 2

"Andrew, who else is here?"

"Alex, Monica, Tracey, your grandfather, and the girls."

"Six bottles of vodka, three bottles of rum, and two bottles of tequila for that many people?" Andrew remained silent after Gary's observation. "Who else is here, Andrew?

"Just a few people, Gary, stop being so suspicious – and stop glaring at me like that, jeez."

"How many people? It's not like the entire group can be here…"

"Well, not the _entire _group…"

"Andrew…"

"Gary, just... Gah, just walk already! Damn!" Andrew grabbed Gary's wrist and began dragging him out of the kitchen, snatching the keys to the Camaro off of the hook near the door to keep him from getting any ideas of escape.

"Ow! Andrew, Anna's going to kill you if you injure that hand. Let go of me, I can walk on my own!" Andrew let go of Gary's hand and let him stalk towards the living room on his own with Umbreon a few steps ahead of him.

Annoyed at everyone who had been involved in this plan, and even more annoyed with himself for falling for it by believing that the surprise had been Andrew's presence, Gary let Umbreon stay ahead of him. "I give Umbreon permission to use Shadow Ball on anyone that decides to jump out!" He called to the living room.

Umbreon paused and shot a strange look at her trainer before walking ahead as a familiar female voice responded.

"Totally didn't see that one coming!"

Gary grinned at Charlotte's voice as he approached the room. "Let me guess: Chelsea, Chris, Charlotte, Damien, Shawn – oh god, someone is going to die painfully!" He exclaimed midway through his guess as he entered the room and found everyone from Sinnoh spread out in the large living room. He whirled to face Andrew, who had appeared next to him with a wide grin. "You said it wasn't the entire group!"

"It's _not_ the entire group – "

"Only three people short of it!" Gary covered his face with his hands and laughed, unable to believe that so many people had come to Pallet all the way from Sinnoh just for his birthday – and that they had done it without him knowing.

Looking back at the way everyone had been acting, he wouldn't have been surprised by a few people other than his roommates but he certainly had not, and would not have, expected almost twenty people that he hung out with in Sinnoh.

With a grin, he made his way into the room to greet his friends that he hadn't seen since early August. It must have been over half an hour before he managed to make his way over to Alex and Monica after greeting each of his friends.

"All grown up now, aren't you, Gary?" Alex asked him with a warm smile after slipping an arm around his shoulders in a quick hug.

"Maybe," Gary said dismissively with a grin, "I still have two more years of being a teenager, so don't think I'll stop being a pain around you."

"You know he secretly loves you being such a pain." Monica told him with a smile as Alex laughed at the comment.

"Who's idea was this?" Gary asked after a small pause, sure that it was Andrew's or Ashley's, or possibly May's.

"Mine."

Gary turned to see his grandfather standing behind him with a warm smile. "Really?" He nodded. "Why?"

"I just wanted to do something special for your eighteenth birthday."

Gary frowned at the professor. "You know I hate surprises, and that I now hate you for this," He said with a soft laugh before his expression softened slightly. "But thank you, really this is… I would never have expected this."

"You're welcome, and I'm surprised you're not ready to kill me – not that I'm not grateful for that fact!" He added quickly as Gary grinned suddenly. "At least wait until after tomorrow before settling on any homicidal ideas that you may have."

"And why is that?"

"Don't you want to know what your birthday present from me is?"

Gary eyed his grandfather warily for a moment before answering as he heard footsteps approach him from behind. "I doubt it can beat May and Anna's gift."

Alex and the professor laughed, knowing full well what the surprise awaiting him tomorrow was. Suspecting Andrew, Gary turned to see who was quietly walking up behind him and was surprised to see a teen with messy black hair instead of his blonde friend.

"What are you doing here?" Gary exclaimed in surprise.

"Taking a break from training. I stopped by to see Professor Oak and wish you a happy birthday but Tracey talked me into staying." Ash paused and took a moment to look over his former rival. "Tracey said you'd changed but I didn't really believe him."

Gary laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I kind of forgot I haven't seen you in over two years now… I guess this is all a shock to you."

"Yeah!" Ash exclaimed, laughing. "I mean, it was enough of a surprise to hear that you and _Anna_ were dating, but now your hair is longer than May's and you have your eyebrow pierced – you got your tongue pierced?" He asked in shock as Gary stuck out his tongue to flash the metal bar at him. "I thought you were always scared of needles?"

"Terrified." Gary confirmed with a smile. "I thought I was going to pass out when I had that one done – and it was my first piercing too! It was actually Andrew's idea to begin with…" He paused, searching for Andrew. "Actually, I don't know where Andrew is… probably off making out with Tracey… Don't ask." He added at Ash's confused and startled look.

Ash shrugged off the comment about Tracey and eyed Gary slightly uncomfortably. "Um, you don't have any other piercings, do you?"

Gary laughed at Ash's apparent discomfort. "Only nose and lip, actually I haven't worn the nose ring in awhile so that might not be a piercing anymore. No tattoos either, at least I can take out a piercing when I get sick of it. What have you been up to lately? I heard about the Battle Frontier."

"I've just been training in Sinnoh; got eight badges, made it the top eight in the competition, and now I'm home for awhile."

"I'm surprised you're not showing off your badges."

"I'm not you."

"Hey, you don't see me showing off my college degree, do you?" Gary asked with a forced laugh.

"Only one degree? Not eight?" Ash teased, frowning when Gary sighed.

"I was _supposed_ to start another one in August…"

"And what happened with that?" Ash pressed.

"Long story, don't ask." Gary responded flatly, grateful when May appeared at his side, carefully balancing three drinks in her hands. She passed off a large shot of what was most likely vodka to Gary while handing Ash a fruit-flavored alcoholic drink that the boy eyed warily. "Oh that's right, I can actually drink without Alex getting pissed at me." Gary said with a laugh, turning to grin at Alex who had been talking with his grandfather for the past few minutes.

"As long as this isn't a repeat of your sixteenth birthday." Alex chided with a small frown, Monica nodded in agreement.

Gary paled slightly at the memory of the hangover that had bordered on alcohol poisoning – he had refused to drink any sort of rum with Andrew since that incident, at least not willingly. May laughed, having heard about that from Alex. "Don't worry, Gary, it's just vodka; I wouldn't try tricking you." She assured him before turning to Ash and beginning to talk to him, while Gary walked over to Ashley and Damien to talk with them.

Gary had been talking with them for quite awhile when Shane and Liana joined them. A few moments later a pair of arms snaked around his shoulders and a girl pressed her body against his back. He smiled and turned enough to kiss Anna's cheek and slip an arm around her waist. Beth appeared at his other side after a few more minutes.

"I brought my drum set." She whispered in Gary's ear, laughing at how quickly Gary had turned to look at her. "It's already set up upstairs."

"I'll race you up there, Gary." Chelsea's voice chirped from behind him.

Gary turned and saw Chelsea standing with Michelle and Charlotte who were talking about something to do with the education programs at the schools they were at; both girls seemed happy to have another education major to talk to. "I'll meet you up there in a minute." Gary told her before leaving the room and walking down the hallway.

Along the way to the staircase, he passed Kate and Ash talking animatedly about something to do with pokemon while Shawn looked on somewhat awkwardly. Shawn smiled when he saw Gary and stepped away from the two younger teens to talk to Gary. "Tracey said that you mentioned me yesterday – you didn't happen to have any clue about what was going on, did you?"

"I had no idea." Gary answered honestly, shaking his head. "I thought you and Kate would get along really well, and it looks like I was right. Just remember she's the equivalent of my little sister –"

"Even though I'm older than you!" Kate interrupted.

"Yeah, by three months," Gary shot back before turning back to Shawn. "_And_ she's one of my best friends."

"I'd be more worried about Nik or Logan with her, Gary."

"Who said I'm not?" Gary called back as he turned and continued heading down the hallway and up the stairs, pausing when he reached the second floor corridor. "Don't you think you two could be a little more discreet?" He asked casually, leaning against the wall across the hall from where Tracey and Andrew were currently kissing and groping.

"You're one to speak, having sex with Anna out by the pool with everyone at home." Andrew muttered before leaning forward and placing his mouth on Tracey's throat.

"I probably shouldn't have told you that one…" Gary muttered as Tracey spoke between sighs while Andrew nipped and sucked at his skin.

"When was this?"

"The day you guys played soccer, seeing you all sweaty and shirtless got Gary so hot that he had to have wild crazy sex with Anna right on the lounge chair. Couldn't even wait until they got inside." Andrew replied, pulling away from Tracey just enough to speak before resuming his attack on Tracey's neck as Tracey laughed at the obviously fictional incident Andrew had described.

Gary rolled his eyes, hearing footsteps on the stairs. "That's not what happened." He said turning to walk into his bedroom.

--- --- ---

Most of his friends were already in the music room by the time Gary had entered after changing from his long-sleeved shirt into a black tank top, putting in his lip ring, and tracing his eyes in the black liner that he hadn't worn since Halloween. Beth was sitting behind her drum set and trying to wrestle two drum sticks from Damien while Chris watched on with an amused smile, Chelsea and Anna were comparing their Ibanez basses, Tim and Andrew were playing their guitars and apparently trying to explain something to Tracey while Jon tried to help them, Charlotte stood in the middle of the room with her camera around her neck while she talked cheerfully with Ash and May, and Kate sat on the red loveseat with Shawn while they talked nonstop.

"I see you're back to your usual sexy self." Gary turned with a small smirk to the person who had entered the room behind him.

"You know, Ashley, it's interesting that you've been telling me for the past two years that you're a lesbian when you always compliment me. Are you sure I'm not tempting you?" He teased lightly, flashing her a grin and placing a hand on her lower back to lead her into the room ahead of him.

"Well… maybe a little bit." Ashley flashed him a teasingly flirtatious smile before heading over to the drums to help her girlfriend take the sticks from Damien.

He had been talking with Nik, Ben, and David for quite awhile about the band they were in with Ashley, Damien and Jon when someone came up behind him and folded an arm on the back of Gary's shoulders, wrapping the other arm around him to rest against his chest. A glance down at the black nail polish on the long fingers, combined with the thin build leaning on him and the blonde hair that draped over his shoulder as the person leaned their head on his shoulder, told him that it was Andrew.

"Want to mess with my brother?" Andrew asked, quiet enough for only Gary to hear him.

Gary grinned, funny memories from parties and concerts running through his head as he interrupted David's sentence to get Nik's attention. As soon as Nik turned his attention to his older brother and Gary, Gary turned his head enough to capture Andrew's lips with his own, allowing a long and deep kiss to ensue.

"Aw, come on, guys! You two are sick, you know that?" Nik exclaimed, groaning and turning his head.

Gary and Andrew pulled apart laughing as Ben and David shook their heads in slight annoyance, used to the way their friends liked to shock and disgust Nik with their behavior.

He soon headed over to the center of the room where May was still chatting with Ash and Charlotte. Pulling his sister's wavy hair, he smiled at Ash's surprised look at his change in appearance. Tracey had come over a few moments later with Andrew while they talked about different places in Sinnoh that they had been too. Gary noticed Andrew glancing at his bare forearms several times and held his arms out for Andrew to examine.

"Nothing new." He explained, turning his arms over for Andrew to see that there were no new cuts or scars. "See? I've been good."

"Great, maybe you're finally done for good?" Andrew asked, his tone light and mild but his eyes serious and direct.

May remained quiet, relieved to see that the most recent scar on her brother's arms was the one from her own stitches. Charlotte simply smiled at Gary, a reassuring smile that silently told him that she was happy for him. Tracey alone noticed the shocked expression on Ash's face as the teen struggled for words.

"What… Gary, what happened?" Ash finally asked with wide eyes as he took hold of Gary's arms and stared at the scars, unsure if he really wanted to know the answer.

Gary frowned at him for a moment before answering honestly. "I cut myself."

Ash swallowed hard as he let go of Gary's arms. He had heard of people doing such a thing but had never suspected his former rival and friend as one that did it. "When did you start doing this?"

"Just after the Indigo League… well, just after for me, you still had another battle. That's where these came from." He replied, pointing out the identical slashes across his wrists.

Ash's eyes widened dramatically as his eyes traced over them. "You tried to kill yourself?"

"No! Well… Yeah, but not then." Gary could feel several sets of eyes turn to him and silently cursed himself for being so honest with Ash where anyone could hear what he said.

"Worum geht es, Gary?" Charlotte asked softly.

Gary sighed before answering Charlotte's inquiry. "At the end of July, it wasn't alcohol poisoning like I said it was; that's why I came home instead of going back to school."

Charlotte glanced at his wrists again. "These scars aren't recent enough to be from that."

Gary shook his head. "I didn't say I slit my wrists for it." He said grimly, gazing at the ground, forcing himself to finish explaining. "It was a lot of pain killers after we had been drinking and I puked up what I could and Andrew found me before I passed out and had enough sense to get me to a hospital." He glanced up at Andrew. "You pretty much saved my life." He said softly.

Andrew shrugged, unable to shake off the seriousness in his eye. "You would've done the same for me."

Gary nodded slowly, surprised when Charlotte's voice spoke up. "I tried the same thing in high school, so I know how it is." She forced a smile at Gary. "Now I feel bad for being so pissed at you for leaving with such little warning. We should have noticed though…"

"What's past is past, there's nothing that can change that." Gary said, forcing himself to smile. "I haven't seen you guys since August and I don't want to spend the night reliving each other's worst moments."

Andrew grinned, heading over to his stack of guitar cases, opening one and pulling out his red Schecter. "Let's have some fun!" He cried with a grin.

Gary laughed softly, turning to Charlotte to mouth "thank you" before smiling at a still-shocked Ash and patting his shoulder lightly as he walked behind him to open the guitar case laying on the couch.

"You lucky son of a bitch, Gary!" David exclaimed as he saw Gary pull the new guitar out of the case.

Gary grinned as he carried the guitar over to the chest of drawers and opened a drawer to pull out an extra strap.

"Please tell me it's tuned to C!" Gary laughed at Chris' exclamation from across the room where he was sitting with Bella.

"It is." Gary confirmed as he plugged it in, watching Chelsea and Anna plug in their basses while Andrew followed suit with his guitar and Tim flipped on his amp. "This is from the _best_ sister in the world," Gary began, hugging May and giving her a kiss on the cheek as Anna approached him. "and from my perfect girlfriend." He kissed Anna on the lips, smiling at her slight blush, barely glancing over at Chris and Ashley as they set up microphones quickly, knowing what was to come when this group of teens came together for a party.

--- --- ---

When Andrew, Chelsea, and Chris visited for Halloween, Tracey had found it fascinating to watch them play their instruments with Gary and Anna; it had been a new experience for him. He soon realized that five people playing instruments, six if May joined in on keyboards or if Alex joined in on guitar, was nothing compared to a room full of musicians. It was a novel experience to watch everyone play, constantly switching instruments and jumping in and out of songs. What was more interesting than watching them play was watching the way they interacted, there were the playful interactions contrasting with more serious interactions where the more experienced musicians would consult each other or subtly coach the lesser experienced, and then there were the interactions that could barely be considered as such and were purely musical. It was these sorts of interactions that awed Tracey; the way Damien, Beth, or Chris could start something on drums while the guitarists would play over it, following the drums as though reading the drummer's mind, knowing what they were going to play next. The way the different guitarist played off of each other, able to pick up on cues invisible to the untrained eye that guided them through keys and harmonies while the bassists switched back and forth nearly flawlessly, each adding their own style that either followed the guitars or guided the guitars into something new – Tracey could never tell. And then, over those three instruments with their many players, were the keyboards and piano; Ben and Ashley both could capture the attention of the room with the melodies they played on the keyboards while May's occasional piano playing complemented the guitars with pretty pieces that always seemed to make her brother smile. It was as though everyone functioned musically on some sort of cognitive and subconscious understanding of what their peers were doing; to call it a mere series of interactions was to put a damper on the beautiful mystery that was the music that flowed simply from those who performed it.

Despite how magical it seemed to watch them play their improvised music, Tracey enjoyed watching them play songs by bands; it was during those songs that the playful side came out when the musicians weren't concentrating the way they did during the other rounds of music. He had laughed as Andrew stepped up next to Gary and began spinning his hair so that it got in Gary's way; he laughed even harder when Gary stopped playing, grabbed a handful of Andrew's hair and irritably told him to knock it off. He had snickered along with Charlotte and Nik as Logan took a spare drum stick and would hit one of the large cymbals at the wrong parts while Beth played; the snickers turned to laughs as Beth held up one of her sticks threateningly, as though she were going to hit Logan for messing up her parts. He had smiled along with May, Bella, and Michelle as he watched Gary laugh at Anna as she danced around while playing her bass before the two kissed and Gary nuzzled her chin affectionately.

After an hour of the playing, Tracey saw Monica poke her head in the room and gesture Damien over to her. Damien left the room and was gone for a long time before reappearing in the doorway with a cream soda in hand, calling for everyone's attention before announcing that there was pizza in the kitchen.

--- --- ---

Gary knew that one of the few ways to make some of his friends put down their instruments was to promise food, yet he was surprised at how quickly the population in the room decreased to less than half of what it had been before Damien announced the presence of food. Laughing, he looked around at those who remained; Andrew, Anna, Ash, Tracey, Tim, David, and Danny. The only people in the group that didn't play guitar were Ash and Tracey. He had to admit he was surprised that Ash hadn't fled the room at the thought of food, come to think of it, he was surprised that Ash had stayed in the room as long as he had.

Realizing that his friends that had never even met Ash had spoken to the boy more than he had, when he was the one who had once been best friends with him, Gary sighed and replaced the guitar he had been playing before sitting on the couch next to Ash. Andrew continued playing with Tim, David, and Danny; the four of them doing a sort of solo battle that he vaguely regretted dropping out of to join Ash and Tracey on the couch.

Smirking slightly as Andrew and Tim argued over something to do with what David had just played, Gary turned his attention to the boy next to him. "It's been awhile, Ashy-boy."

Ash rolled his eyes at the old nickname. "It has been." He agreed quietly, falling silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. "I'm surprised Kate's here, last time I talked to her you two had gotten in a fight." He finally said.

Gary nodded slowly, nervous toying with the lip ring with his tongue before answering. "We had a couple of rough months, she was really angry about everything that went on between Anna and I."

"When did you two start dating?"

"Halloween." Gary answered flatly, watching Anna laugh at something Danny had said while they watched Tim and David play a harmony that Andrew tried to join.

Ash looked surprised. "It seems like you guys have been dating a lot longer."

Gary barely nodded, he was well aware of this fact. "Yeah." He said distantly, watching Andrew put down his guitar and sit down next to Tracey, who was sitting on Ash's other side.

Ash glanced over at their newest arrival to the couch. Andrew leaned over and whispered something to Tracey with a suggestive grin. The two teens stood and left the room a moment later, Andrew grasping Tracey's hand and leading him.

Ash eyed their clasped hands and sighed before speaking again. "Don't you miss the days when we were kids and nothing was complicated?"

Gary chuckled softly, following Ash's gaze as his two friends left the room. "I don't think you realize how complicated things can get, Ash." He said softly, thinking of the times he and Andrew had passed time by making out, occasionally going further.

At the time, he had never thought of it as more than something between best friends, something that relieved stress and tension, something that was a bit of a joke that happened to show how much they trusted each other. He had never questioned his sexuality in the slightest until his seventeenth birthday when they had retreated to the bathroom and even then he had pushed the uncomfortable thoughts out of his head. He found it interesting that he had never even considered the fact that he might just possibly be somewhat attracted to other males when he and Andrew had never hesitated to kiss in front of friends just to get a reaction from them, they had never hesitated to share an occasional grope in public just to raise eyebrows. Chris and Chelsea knew that they had a sexual relationship; he and Andrew were fairly open about it in the house that the four of them shared, though he hid it from most of their other friends, with the exception of Charlotte and Jon.

"That's not what I meant." Ash's voice snapped Gary out of his thoughts. "What I meant was, don't you ever miss just the three of us hanging out and playing together? Not worrying about anything? If you had the choice, would you go back to those days, before everything happened?"

Gary frowned, thinking of something Alex had said on Halloween. "No." He answered, continuing at the strange look that Ash cast at him. "I won't lie to you, Ash, I hate everything that happened back then, I really do. But, if those things had never happened, I wouldn't have the relationship I have with May or with Anna. I wouldn't be such good friends with most of the people who are here." He paused for a moment, thinking as he watched Anna put her bass back on its wall mount. "I spent so long regretting everything that happened that I never let myself have a true friendship with anyone other than Anna or May until I went to Sinnoh – and even then, it was really hard until… something… happened between Andrew and I – don't ask, Ash, I don't feel like going into the details." He added hastily as Ash started to ask what that _something_ had been.

As Ash fell silent and Anna walked over to the couch, Gary remembered a time in Sinnoh, only a month or two into his first semester.

--- --- ---

_He and Andrew had only been friends for a short while and, though Gary felt more comfortable with him than he did with anyone short of his sister or Anna, he had a hard time letting himself go enough to make that connection that best friends had. He knew that Andrew understood him; he had seen Andrew's scars, they were on full display all the time and Andrew was unashamed of them. Andrew knew that Gary had scars lacing his right arm and suspected that Gary still cut himself as Gary had never shown him his left arm and he never wore anything other than longsleeves. Then there were the days where Gary was pale and slightly weaker than usual, as if he had lost a decent amount of blood; there were the times that the left sleeve of his shirt didn't lie across his arm like the right sleeve did, as though there were something, a bandage perhaps, hidden underneath the cloth of the shirt. _

_Then there was that one Saturday in late September when he was hanging out with Gary at Alex's house when Gary seemed particularly distant and irritable until he disappeared into the bathroom for a long while. Andrew's suspicions were confirmed when Gary finally emerged from the bathroom, looking far more pale than he had earlier, seeming a bit weak as he wordlessly left the room, returning a few moments later with a glass of juice that he was slowly drinking. _

_Andrew waited until the glass was empty and until Gary wasn't quite as pale before instructing Gary to hold out his hands, noticing the hesitation as the fifteen-year-old did so. He gingerly touched the edge of the left sleeve, shaking his head slightly as Gary began to pull away._

"_Stop." Andrew said softly. "You've seen my scars, you know that I understand and that I know what's going on. I just want to see."_

_Gary stopped pulling away and allowed Andrew to slowly pull up the sleeve, revealing the fresh bandage that covered his forearm. Andrew traced his hand over the bandage before carefully peeling it back to reveal five long cuts across Gary's arm. They were fresh and the bandage had some barely-dried blood staining it. Andrew noticed how Gary seemed to be looking everywhere but at him and sighed, gently running his hand over the still-fresh wounds. He carefully replaced the bandage and pulled the sleeve back over it. Reaching out to turn Gary's face to his, he gently raised Gary's chin and lowered his head to press a gentle kiss to his lips._

_Shocked, Gary froze for a moment and Andrew was about to pull away when Gary finally kissed him back._

_Andrew pulled away after awhile. "I know better than most people what's going on with you, Gary, don't hide from me; you _never_ have to hide your cuts from me. You can trust me."_

--- --- ---

Anna smiled down at Gary when she reached the couch and carefully positioned herself in his lap, feeling comfortable and content as his arms wrapped lightly around her waist. Running her fingers through Gary's hair, she leaned in after a few moments.

"Let's go to your room." She whispered before standing and leading him out of the room and down the hall.

Expecting Anna to either kiss him fiercely or immediately begin groping him, Gary was surprised when she didn't bother closing the door to his bedroom and led him to the bed, laying down with him and gently kissing him. Sighing contentedly into the kiss, Gary could feel his mind go blank as he lost himself in her soft kiss. He wasn't sure how long they had been kissing on his bed, but it must have been quite some time. The two teens suddenly pulled apart slightly as someone cleared their throat in the doorway. Looking up, Gary saw his grandfather standing in the doorway.

"I know you two want some time to yourselves but –"

"I know, Grandpa." Gary interrupted wearily. "I'll be downstairs in a minute."

"You have five minutes before I send in May." Professor Oak informed him before turning and heading back down the hallway.

Gary looked back at Anna with a disappointed smile. One of Anna's hands was still resting at the nape of his neck, fingers lightly curled in his hair, the other hand resting on his chest while his arms were still wrapped loosely around her waist.

"I hope I didn't freak you out this afternoon with what I said." Anna said softly after a moment.

"About the jellyfish?" Gary asked with a smile and a slightly teasing tone.

"No, Gary, the part after that."

Gary moved one his hands from her waist to lightly cup her cheek, smiling as Anna turned her head to trail small kisses along his hand. "You didn't." He replied softly, suppressing a laugh as Anna flicked her tongue playfully against his palm. He gazed at her for a moment longer before speaking again. "I loved hearing you say that." He murmured. "But, it's going to be awhile before I… I'm just not ready to bring the relationship to that level yet, Anna. I want to get there eventually but it's just moving a little fast for me."

Anna nodded with a small understanding smile. "I understand." She said quietly. "Take as much time as you need, I don't want to rush you – you've been rushed enough these past few years."

"Gary!" May's voice drifted up the stairs and Anna laughed as Gary rolled his eyes with a groan.

"She always interrupts." Anna said lightly.

"I'm coming!" Gary called back to his sister.

There was silence for a moment. "In which sense of the word?" Andrew's voice called back from down the hall.

Gary laughed, leaning his head against Anna's shoulder as she giggled at Andrew's question. "We'd better go downstairs." Gary said after he stopped laughing, sliding off of the bed and gently pulling Anna with him.

"Yeah, hold on though." Anna said, reaching out and untangling Gary's hair with her fingers. "Don't want you going down there with just-been-fucked hair." She explained, smiling at Gary's soft laugh.

--- --- ---

Tracey didn't even want to know how annoyed the staff at the pizzeria downtown must have been when Professor Oak called in the order that evening as he eyed the tall stack of boxes. He had come downstairs just after Gary and Anna and immediately headed towards the kitchen. Most of the guests were out on the porch but Alex and Monica were in the kitchen with May, Damien, and Gary. Jon came in from the porch a few minutes after he and Andrew entered the kitchen and began talking to Andrew.

Tracey listened to May talk to Damien about Gary and Anna in a teasing manner. Gary didn't hear what they said as Andrew poured several shots, handing one to Jon and Gary, while tossing back his own, Jon following suit while Gary eyed the drink warily. Tracey tuned out after awhile, leaning against the counter and eating a slice of pizza while he watched Jon and Andrew pick on Gary while Gary ignored them.

"So, Alex, when are you going to ask my aunt to marry you?" Damien asked Alex, casually taking a sip of his cream soda that was probably half alcohol by now, considering the bottle was still full but the liquid inside was much clearer than it had been when he had announced food.

Tracey turned his attention back to the conversation as Gary spoke up.

"Yeah, Alex, you and Monica have only been living together for _six years_." Gary teased, laughing when Alex pulled the shot glass out of his hand and threw back the shot of 151 that Andrew had been trying to convince Gary to take for the past five minutes.

"I'll tell you what, boys," Alex said, placing the now-empty shot glass in the sink. "The day that Gary gets married, I will propose to Monica." He smiled as the grin slid off of Gary's face.

Monica laughed softly, tousling Gary's hair. "You have five years, young man." She said with mock sternness.

"So no pressure, Gary." Alex said lightly.

"No pressure?" Gary echoed loudly.

"I take it you want that shot of rum now, don't you?" Andrew laughed from behind him.

"Andrew, after what we did for his sixteenth birthday, I don't think he _ever_ wants to do another shot of 151 in his life." Jon reminded him, laughing as he poured a shot of tequila and handed it to Gary.

Gary had barely swallowed the alcohol and set the glass down when Anna came into the kitchen from the porch and kissed him on the cheek before dragging him out of the room, speaking excitedly the whole time. Charlotte and Tim followed them with a few other people.

Andrew and Jon exchanged grins while Damien laughed. "Exactly how long do you think it'll be before you have a diamond ring, Aunt Monica?" He asked, thinking of the smile that had appeared on his younger friend's face when Anna had appeared.

She appeared to think for a moment before Alex answered for her. "I'd say at least three years, Gary's pretty nervous with the thought of love."

Monica shook her head. "I'd say a year, _if_ it happens. Whatever happens between those two, it's going to be sudden."

Andrew's smile immediately faded. "Gary would be completely _destroyed_ if they broke up."

"Maybe." Damien said dismissively, not seeing Andrew's sudden worry as a great concern.

"I wouldn't worry about that, Andrew, you didn't see them this afternoon on the beach. I'd bet around two years." May finally spoke up, having remained silent throughout the whole conversation.

--- --- ---

The sound of music had brought most people back up to the music room, though Gary noticed several people missing: Chris and Bella were gone, Kate and Shawn were gone, as were May, Damien, Michelle, and Ash. May and Michelle came up after awhile, carrying a few bottles of alcohol. From there the party unfolded, though Gary noticed that most people were avoiding the straight alcohol and sticking to the flavored drinks, most likely holding out until music had lost its thrill for the night. He himself had done a few shots with Andrew and was already feeling the alcohol so he stayed on the couch with the ever-changing group of people sitting out from the music while watching everyone else play.

After nearly an hour of letting his mind clear from the slight fog that vodka and tequila had created, Gary let Andrew drag him to his feet as Tim and Ashley began playing the intro to a Symphony X song on the guitar and keyboard. Leaving the guitar parts to his friends, Gary surprised himself, as well as his sister and Anna, by switching back and forth on vocals with Logan, who was capable of far rougher vocals than Gary. They continued like this for a long time, Tim and Andrew on guitar with Danny occasionally joining in, Ashley and Ben trading places with keyboards, Chelsea and Nik switching on bass, Beth on drums, and Ashley and Charlotte occasionally joining the two boys on vocals. Realizing that the better musicians in the group had taken over, everyone else retreated to the alcohol, having fun watching and listening while shouting out songs while laughing or singing along.

After what must have been well over an hour of an endless parade of Blind Guardian, Symphony X, Iron Maiden, and Iced Earth, Beth and Ashley began playing a heavy song intro that made Gary and Andrew both freeze in recognition. Gary could feel the worried gazes of Anna, May, and Chelsea on him, remembering what had happened on Halloween when Gary had last heard the song. Feeling certain that he wasn't going to have a nervous breakdown like he had last time, he nodded to Andrew, flashing him a grin to show that he was fine. Andrew shrugged as if to say "if you say so" and began playing.

The song seemed to go on forever and Gary was almost grateful when the last note finally sounded and Andrew spoke up. "As fun as that was, no more Evergrey."

"How about this, Andrew?" Logan asked, picking up a guitar and playing something out of key that made most people in the room laugh.

Beth stood up and left the drum set while Jon suddenly sat down. "Finally, something I can actually play!" He cheered as Chelsea put her bass down while shaking her head and Nik picked up his own while Anna cheered, flashing Gary a smile that said she was playing along just to annoy him.

"No! No Slayer! Please!" Gary cried with a laugh as Andrew put his guitar down and grabbed his wrist and began dragging him to the door.

"Quick, Gary, before we lose our hearing!" He laughed as he raced for the door and into the hallway, Gary and Beth close behind him.

Chelsea and May joined them in the hall as they headed down the stairs, Gary and Andrew laughing and shoving each other the whole way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Chris and Damien were leaning against the counter with drinks in hand and talking quietly, Shawn and Kate were on the porch outside the door with Ash and Bella, and Professor Oak, Alex, and Monica were sitting at the table. The three adults hastily stopped talking when the five teens entered the room, May and Beth headed over to the counter by Chris and Damien, quickly engaging them in conversation while the other three leaned against a different counter. Gary opened a cabinet and took down three shot glasses, smiling suggestively at his two former roommates. Andrew returned the grin with a mischievous gleam in his eye and poured a glass of vodka and two glasses of rum, waiting until Gary turned to say something to May before switching the glass of vodka with one of the ones of rum. Ignoring Alex's stern glare and elbowing a snickering Chelsea in the ribs, Andrew raised the glass of vodka to his lips while Chelsea did the same.

Andrew cleared his throat loudly, causing Gary to turn and pick up the remaining shot, and the three teens threw back their shots. Andrew and Chelsea began laughing as Gary made a face, realizing that Andrew had tricked him as he turned to the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of Poweraide and drinking half of it to get the taste of the rum out of his mouth. Noticing Gary's scowl before he set the bottle on the counter, Andrew began inching towards the door.

"Andrew!"

Andrew raced for the door, Gary tearing after him, past the surprised teens on the patio and into the backyard. Beth and Chelsea laughed, walking onto the porch to watch Gary chase Andrew while Chris and Damien shook their heads with amused smiles and Alex sighed.

"You realize someone's going to end up in the pool, right, Alex?" Damien asked, his smile turning to a grin as Alex groaned and walked to the refrigerator to pull out one of the flavored Smirnoff drinks that Andrew had picked out, pausing and grabbing a wine cooler for Monica.

"Those two drive me insane at times." He answered wearily.

Chris laughed softly and raised the margarita that Bella had made for him to his lips. "At least you're not the one that always has to break them up." He said before taking a large sip and placing the drink back on the counter and walking out on to the porch and walking down the steps to the yard.

"Does Gary always act like that around Andrew?" Professor Oak asked, surprised to see his guarded grandson behave so openly and playfully while remembering how the two boys had acted around Halloween.

"Not always." Alex said, opening the two drinks and handing Monica hers. "Though Andrew has this uncanny ability to bring out this _obnoxious_ little demon that Gary has somewhere inside – "

"Just like Anna." May added, leaning in the doorway of the backdoor, switching her attention between her brother and his friend, the conversation on the porch, and the conversation within the kitchen.

"Andrew just manages to bring out the kid in everyone, Uncle Alex." Damien said with a grin.

"Don't you start." Alex said sternly as Monica laughed. "But no, Sam, they don't always act like that. They do have a serious friendship, despite the fact that they are probably beating the hell out of each other right now. I don't know if you've noticed, but Andrew has a lot of scars on his arms, he had some really rough years before straightening up enough for school; he really helped Gary a lot in Sinnoh… May's right though, he is a lot like Anna."

"And Gary's a lot more like both of them than he lets on." May responded softly from the door with a gentle smile.

May's smile faded quickly as a loud shout, followed by a loud splash came from the pool area. Professor Oak looked surprised and stood up quickly as Tracey entered the room.

"Oh, hell." Alex muttered, standing to grab some towels from the laundry room off of the garage.

"They'll be fine, Professor." Damien reassured him, laughing softly as he imagined how annoyed one of the boys was going to be with the other one.

--- --- ---

Andrew was running full out across the lawn while laughing, not entirely sure where he was heading as he heard Gary close in behind him. He yelped loudly as he fell to the ground.

"You and your _fucking_ slide tackles!" He yelled, grabbing Gary's arm as he started to get back to his feet and yanking him back down. "It's bad enough you always did that whenever we decided to play soccer, I don't see why you have to do it over a shot of 151." He said, pinning Gary on the ground, smirking as he struggled beneath him. "Ah, that's right; I forgot that you _hate_ not being the dominant one – funny how you never complained about that when you were sucking me off." The smile fell off of his face as Gary slipped his wrist out of Andrew's grip and back-handed him.

"That's what you get for tricking me." Gary told him with a smirk as he started to stand, cursing loudly as Andrew kicked his legs out from under him and he toppled onto him.

"Getting annoyed yet, pussy?" Andrew asked, seeing a flash of annoyance in his younger friend's eyes as he ended up with Gary beneath him once more.

"Fuck you!" Gary snapped, grabbing Andrew's hair and flipping over on top of him and pressing a hand against Andrew's throat, hard enough to point out to him that he was now the dominant one.

"Knock it off, guys!" Chris called from the porch, stepping down onto the lawn and starting to walk to the wrestling boys.

He grinned as Andrew glared up at him. "Let go of my hair!" He moved a hand to hit Gary.

"Make me." Gary let go of Andrew's hair and tried grabbing his wrist to pin it to the ground.

Andrew struggled for a moment to keep his hands free, slapping Gary's hand away before jabbing his friend in the stomach with his fist, apparently harder than he meant to, judging by Gary's sudden gasp. Shoving Gary off of him, Andrew sprang to his feet and started to run off, pausing as Gary slowly got to his feet, a hand on his stomach. Worried that he'd hurt him, the triumphant smile slid off of his face. "You ok?" He called, starting to retrace his steps back to Gary.

Gary grinned and dropped his hand, breaking into a run and biting back a laugh as Andrew's worried expression turned to surprise before he turned and began running in the opposite direction. "Fucking cunt!" He called, the grin fading from his face as he realized Andrew was heading towards the pool. "Better not shove me in…" He muttered under his breath as he reached the pool.

"Notice where we are?" Andrew asked with a mischievous grin turning to face Gary as he walked backwards next to the pool.

"Don't even think about it!" Gary heard Chris call as he approached the patio around the pool.

"Kind of hard not to." Gary replied, mainly to Andrew but also to Chris, as he slowly walked towards Andrew.

Andrew frowned, realizing how cold the water in the pool would be and raised his hands in surrender. "Truce, Gary, I won't shove you in." He said, backing away from his friend.

"Bullshit." Gary replied with a smirk, still walking towards Andrew.

"Seriously, man, that water's gonna be fucking freezing!"

"Gary, don't you dare!" Chris called as Gary lunged at Andrew.

The two pushed each other a bit before Andrew let out a yell as Gary shoved him towards the water.

"Andrew, no!" Gary shrieked as Andrew grabbed his arm at last minute, dragging him into the water with him.

"Ah, shit. I knew that was going to happen." Chris muttered, shaking his head and walking over to the steps of the pool as Gary surfaced cursing.

"Fuck! It's cold, oh god, it's cold!" Andrew cried, surfacing and trying to pull Gary back under the water.

"Of course it's cold, it's December, you idiot!" Gary replied, wriggling out of Andrew's grasp.

"Well, apparently this was a bad idea!" Andrew said loudly, wincing as Gary hit his shoulder hard.

"Anything involving you is a bad idea!" He snapped back.

"That certainly explains why you always tag along with him." Chris said in exasperation as he helped Gary out of the pool.

"Shut up." Gary snapped at him, visibly shaking from the cold and glaring venomously at Andrew as Chris helped him out of the pool as well.

"Let's get inside before you two go hypothermic." Chris sighed, ushering the two soaked teens towards the house ahead of him, groaning softly as Andrew shoved Gary. "Don't start." He warned before Gary could retaliate.

Gary responded by ignoring Chris, wringing water out of his hair as he sneered at Andrew. "Dick." He muttered.

"Then blow me!" Andrew snapped.

"Don't tempt me!"

"Guys!"

"I called a truce, you just had to fucking shove me!"

"You're the one that started it!"

"Oh, please, you fucking baby!"

"Knock it off, you two!" Chris scolded, grabbing Gary's arm as he reached out to push Andrew. "Stop." He said forcefully, glaring at Gary as he yanked his arm out of his grasp.

Alex appeared on the porch ahead of them, holding two large towels while Chelsea, Beth, and Shawn were laughing. Alex handed each of the boys a towel as he shook his head.

"Are you two ever going to learn?" Damien asked in amusement, snickering as May and Bella shook their heads.

"I doubt it," Chris replied, walking to Bella and slipping his arms around her shoulders. "But I am getting tired of breaking them up." He frowned as Andrew suddenly shook his head wildly, sending drops of water flying from his hair.

Alex sighed as Gary punched Andrew's shoulder in response. "Come on, you two." He said, dragging Gary into the house while Damien walked behind Andrew, pushing his shoulders to make him walk to the kitchen. "Go upstairs and put on dry clothes right now, both of you!" He exclaimed as a surprised Tracey took in the drenched appearance of both boys.

"I'm fine, Alex."

"Gary, your lips are turning blue; upstairs now!"

"But – "

"Tracey, go with them and make sure they don't do anything stupid." Alex cut off Gary's argument, receiving a glare from the shivering young man before him.

Gary sighed and turned sharply, stalking out of the room and storming up the stairs. Andrew followed him after a push from Damien while Tracey trailed behind them, listening to the two boys curse at each other in German the whole way up the stairs and down the hall until Gary slammed his bedroom door behind him.

Down in the kitchen, Damien laughed. "I called it."

"That's not very hard to do, Damien." Chris sighed, arms still around Bella and head resting against one of her shoulders.

Chelsea laughed at how tired Chris sounded. "What's the matter, Chris? Getting too old to be breaking up their little fights whenever someone ends up being shoved into a pool?"

"Or whenever one plays the other's guitar, or wears the other's shirt, or, god forbid, move a text book? Oh, and let's not forget the whole June incident." Chris replied flatly.

"June was different though, in all fairness." Shawn said. "The three of us were going crazy getting ready to graduate, we were all stressed with summer courses. Throw into the mix the fact that one of them gets cravings under extreme stress and then the fact that the other one is trying to stop cutting himself, and then they're both stubborn as hell – recipe for disaster."

"What are we talking about?" Damien asked.

"Huge fight between them in June, they couldn't speak to each other for over a week without cursing at each other." Chelsea explained. "Gary even spent a few days at Alex and Monica's place until it blew over, made being in class with them really awkward until they finally made up – how exactly did that happen in the first place? They were practically at each other's throats before the analytical chem lab and then they were best friends again after it, I wasn't in the lab so I don't know…"

"Let's leave it at they reached an understanding." Shawn sighed.

Chris, Shawn, and Chelsea looked troubled, remembering the incident. Kate, Ash, and Bella looked confused while Alex, Monica, and Damien looked uncomfortable, none of them knowing the entire story.

--- --- ---

Up in his room, Gary angrily threw his clothes on the bathroom floor, stepping into a steamy shower to both warm up and cool down. Sighing under the cascade of hot water, he felt the tension from the spat with Andrew fading away while he heard music continue playing down the hall. He hadn't been particularly angry with Andrew for tricking him with the alcohol, the chase started out as fun but he had gotten too caught up in it – it was the same thing that caused most quarrels between him and Andrew. He hadn't been annoyed until Andrew pinned him and then made his comment about sucking him. He hadn't been angry until Andrew punched him; even then, he hadn't been pissed off until after he had been dragged into the pool.

Now he felt guilty and somewhat upset that he'd gotten into a fight when Andrew had driven all the way from Sinnoh just for his birthday. No longer feeling tense and feeling much warmer than he had several minutes earlier, he turned off the water and reached for a towel, drying off and walking into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

It was almost strange for him to come out of the shower to find his room empty, lately Anna had been staying in his room with him and had always been waiting on him to emerge from the shower. Groaning at the thought of going back to the music room to face his friends after fighting with Andrew, Gary dressed quickly, pulling on jeans and his Iron Maiden sweatshirt and laying down on his bed. After a few minutes he heard footsteps in the hall, pausing outside his door. He could hear Andrew's voice telling someone – most likely Tracey – that he would be in the music room in a few minutes. Someone walked away from the door and a moment later there was a knock. Sighing, Gary stood and walked to the door, opening it to reveal Andrew.

"Yeah?"

"You alright?"

"I'm fine." Gary snapped irritably, sighing afterwards, disappointed in himself for his response.

He stepped away from the door, allowing Andrew to come in before closing the door behind him and going back to the bed to lie down again. Andrew followed Gary to the bed and sat on the edge of it, tugging the sleeves of his Arch Enemy hoodie over his hands and crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm sorry for tricking you." Andrew muttered.

"Sorry for pushing you in the pool."

"I'm sorry for pulling you in with me."

"Sorry for slide tackling you."

"Sorry for punching you."

"Sorry for being an ass?" Gary offered.

Andrew laughed softly. "You mean, sorry for trying to choke me?"

"I didn't try to choke you! All I did was this!" Gary said, placing his hand lightly against Andrew's throat, looking mildly annoyed.

Andrew laughed again, pushing Gary lightly. "I think we've pretty much covered it for this time around." He said softly after a moment.

"This time around…" Gary echoed, looking distant as he leaned back against the pillows on the bed.

"Hey, were you ok when I punched you? You looked like – what's so funny?" Andrew asked as Gary started laughing.

"You didn't catch on to the fact that I was just fucking with you when I chased you to the pool?" Gary asked with a sarcastic edge to his voice.

"Well, I figured that's what it was, but still… I'd have felt bad if I actually did hurt you."

"Did you come in here just to make sure you didn't punch me too hard?"

Andrew sighed and laid down next to Gary folding arms behind his head and gazing at the ceiling. "No, I wanted to make sure you were ok... You remember what happened last time we got in a fight, I wanted to make sure it wasn't the same situation." He sat up after a moment and took Gary's left arm, rolling up the sleeve and gazing at an area just below his inner elbow that was covered in many overlapping scars.

Gary sighed, sitting up and meeting Andrew's eyes sullenly. "That whole semester was pure hell." He said softly.

"It was stressful for all of us, it was our last semester – that's always stressful."

Gary sighed again, thinking back to the last time they had fought: they had screamed at each other until they were completely out of insults to hurl, having outdone themselves in English, German, and Finnish. Chris and Chelsea had broken them up before it turned physical, sending them each to their separate bedrooms for them to calm down. Andrew had turned up his stereo loud enough to blow out a speaker while listening to Norther and Imperanon and furiously playing his guitar for hours, resulting in bloodied fingers and broken strings. Gary had turned on Dimmu Borgir – which he tended to do whenever he was angry – screamed, trashed his room – demolishing an old copy of _Frankenstein_ and breaking one of his keyboards in the process – and then turned to the blade.

--- --- ---

_He sat on his bed with his shirt off, staring at the scars already lacing his skin, trying to ignore the urge to seek the relief only the blade could provide. Disappointed in himself for fighting with his friend in the first place – over something he couldn't even remember – and sickened by his behavior after returning to his room, and now panicked by the desperation he felt for his knife, Gary stood shakily and dug through the drawers of his dresser, feeling panic growing until he finally found it hidden beneath a stack of neatly folded gym shorts. He gripped the handle of the knife, feeling his panic slowly fade, anger and frustration replacing it as he steadied his shaking hands and sat down on the dark carpet. _

_The blade was cold against his pale flesh as he slid it across his skin, tracing trails of crimson. Silent tears slowly made their way down his cheeks and he found himself growing more and more frustrated and sickened with himself as he kept slicing over and over again in the same area until his arm was covered in blood. _

_Many cuts later, he felt himself growing dizzy and unable to focus his sight on the knife or his arm. He picked up a dark towel and held it tightly against his bleeding arm as the flow slowed but his nausea kept growing. Eventually, the dizziness and nausea faded into blackness._

_It was the only time he had ever fainted from blood loss and it had shaken him deeply. He woke sometime later, he wasn't sure how much later, when the afternoon light had already faded into night. He had stopped bleeding but the small towel he had held against the flow was entirely covered in blood, the jeans he was wearing were stained with it, even the carpet hadn't escaped the red fluid and Gary was somewhat amazed that he had only fainted from blood loss. He tried to stand but the room seemed to tilt dramatically as he fell back to his knees and vomited up the little food that remained in his stomach from lunch._

_He waited until his nausea and dizziness faded enough to stand without falling before sitting on the edge of his bed to examine his newest cuts. They weren't the deepest cuts he'd had but there were enough of them in a small area to make it painful to move his arm and dried blood covered the area. Sighing a sigh of relief that nothing too bad had happened as a result of the cuts, Gary stood and put the knife back in the dresser drawer and began to clean up the room._

_After putting the room back in some sort of order, showering, bandaging his arm, and changing, Chris came into the room with a large glass of apple juice and a plate of fruit. "I figured you could use this." He said softly, placing the food on his desk and sitting down next to Gary on the bed. "Are you ok? You're really pale right now." Gary sighed and put his face in his hands, not wanting to answer the question. "You haven't been yourself lately, I know you're stressed with school but this isn't like you at all."_

"_I'm fine."_

"_Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"_

"_Both." Gary admitted after a long moment of hesitation._

_Chris stayed in the room with him awhile longer, trying to get Gary to talk to him, growing frustrated when the walls came up and Gary refused to talk to him. He left the room when Gary began ignoring and sent Chelsea in his place so he could check in on Andrew. Chelsea had spent the night in his room, concerned when Gary had admitted to her that he'd passed out earlier._

_It was over a week later, during an analytical chemistry lab, when they finally made up. Shawn had to act as a referee between the two out in the hallway before class while they continued arguing and insulting each other. Shawn had been worried when they finally went into the lab, the three of them worked as a lab group and he knew nothing would get done if he had to constantly keep them from killing each other. Fortunately, Gary and Andrew began ignoring each other as soon as they entered the lab. They were the first ones in the lab and Andrew began pulling equipment out of the cabinet at their lab station as Gary pulled off his sweatshirt and reached for his lab coat – that was when Andrew noticed the large area on his arm covered in slashes that were still healing._

"_Gary, what the hell happened?" He asked suddenly, dropping what he was doing and grabbing his friend's arm to examine the cuts._

"_Nothing." Gary snapped, pulling his arm out Andrew's grasp and pulling on his lab coat._

"_I'm sorry." Andrew said so softly that Gary barely heard him._

"_What?"_

"_That fight went too far and I'm sorry. Truce?"_

--- --- ---

"Are you sure you're ok?" Andrew asked, noticing that Gary was avoiding his eyes. "Gary?"

"My arms hurt." Gary finally admitted after a moment.

Andrew smiled sympathetically. "I figured that would be it. When was the last time you cut?"

"Beginning of September." Gary replied softly, pointing out six scars scattered across his left arm, one of them being the long gash that May had stitched. He groaned loudly, pulling his arm out of Andrew's grasp and pulling the sleeves back down. "Why does this have to happen_ now_? Why couldn't it happen after everyone leaves?"

A look of worry flashed across Andrew's face. "It's that bad?" Gary nodded, suppressing the itch to rub his arms against to torso to sooth the urge to find some sort of sharp object to take the place of the discarded knife. "Give me your hands. It would be your left arm, right?"

"Yeah…" Gary replied slowly holding out his arms, confused as Andrew rolled up the left sleeve.

"Where would you cut right now?"

"What?" Gary asked in disbelief.

"Just trust me on this. Where?"

"I don't know," Gary said, pausing to consider for a moment. "Here, I guess." He gestured to a spot on his arm and gasped loudly as Andrew slapped the spot on his arm with two of his fingers as hard as he could. "Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"Feel better?"

"Yeah, actually." Gary admitted after a moment, rubbing the red mark his arm.

"Good… hey, is it just me or do I hear some After Forever?"

"Let's go back to the party." Gary sighed and walked to the door, waiting for Andrew to follow him.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

I should point out now that pretty much anything that happens after the Johto part of the series is cut out since I don't know much about it. It's all sort of AU once Gary decides to become a researcher and Ash goes off to Hoenn. Whatever Gary does in that time in the anime is replaced in here with a year of research on Sayda Island followed by his two years of school in Sinnoh and then everything from this fic. We'll get to Ash another time. : )

The description of everyone playing in the music room when they first go up there, after Gary admits his suicide attempt to Ash and Charlotte, is my attempt at describing something that can only be experienced in person. There is nothing like sitting in a room full of musicians and watching the way they play off of each other, being able to flawlessly go off into something completely unplanned simply by following notes as they are played – it's truly something magical and mysterious about it, as cheesy as that sounds. I wanted to try to capture that feeling of awe but I'm not entirely sure that worked out as planned, either way, I'm fairly pleased with that particular part. I'm curious about what you guys thought – poetic, overly cheesy, stupid, cool?

Oh, and I totally forgot to add this part at the end of the last chapter. In the music store before Gary gets the guitar from May and Anna, the song he plays to show off is Children of Bodom's Silent Night, Bodom Night. If you've ever seen Alexi Laiho play it, he occasionally switches his left hand over to the top of the fret board to hit certain notes. It's pretty cool to watch but according to my guitarist friends, it's pretty easy.

I think I might have made a mistake with guitar tunings – back in chapter 8 Gary says something about needing a guitar in C standard tuning to play Arch Enemy but apparently Arch Enemy plays in C sharp tuning while Cradle of Filth plays in D standard tuning. I read that they both use C standard but according to the boyfriend, they don't and there's a huge difference between C and C sharp but what do I know about guitar tunings? But whatever, I don't think anyone really cares…

Foreign language stuff:

_Worum geht es_ – German for "what's this about?"

Arch-trainer: I glad you liked the last chapter, hopefully you like this chapter as well! I was really happy to read what you think about Anna and Gary, I really enjoyed writing that scene between the two of them. I definitely look forward to working with Tracey and Andrew's relationship as well as other relationships that may come up. Not that there's going to be any new relationships or anything… just saying. ; )


	27. Chapter 27: Connecting

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 27: Connecting

Gary laid down on his bed, groaning at his headache but happy to be past the worst of a particularly bad hangover. He'd felt ill upon waking and had spent a long time in the bathroom early that morning, between vomiting the remnants of the vodka and food from the night before and showering. Pulling the curtains around the bed closed, he curled up against the pillows, wondering where Anna had disappeared off to as he was certain she had her own hangover to deal with. After returning to the party with Andrew they stopped playing music, instead turning on the stereo and turning to the alcohol.

Slowly, everyone had eventually made their way to bed, leaving Gary, Anna, Andrew, Damien, and May the last ones up. Ash had left soon after Gary had returned from his bedroom, explaining that he didn't want his mother getting worried and telling Gary that he would see him around. Kate and Shawn had avoided the straight alcohol, seeming more interested in talking nonstop; Gary had never seen Shawn so talkative before and had never seen Kate talk so much to someone other than himself or possibly Ash when they were younger. Chris and Bella had surprised him with how close they seemed and he was somewhat shocked at how well they had hit it off at Halloween and that they had kept in touch. Bella had stuck to mixed drinks along with May while Chris and Damien took to the tequila along with Alex, who had been one of the first people to go to bed, much to Gary's amusement. May and Damien seemed to have a mutual interest in each other and their exchanged glances, smiles, and laughs didn't escape Gary's notice, even after several shots of vodka with Andrew. Anna seemed to spend a lot of time with Nik and Logan, despite a several year age gap, as well as Liana, Shane, Beth, and Tim, who were all closer to her age. Ashley, Charlotte, and Missy spent most of their time with Chelsea and Michelle, who had seemed _particularly_ interested in Jon. Andrew and Gary had fun drinking with Tracey, who had been wary as he remembered how incapable he was at keeping up with them at Halloween.

A soft knock at the door interrupted his thoughts of the night before but he ignored it, not feeling like getting up to open the door when it was unlocked anyway. The door opened a few seconds later and someone walked in.

"Gary?" Alex asked.

Gary groaned and pulled open the curtains facing the door. Alex closed the door behind him and walked towards the bed, leaned against one of the bed posts and handed Gary a small bottle of Poweraide. Gary thanked him and leaned back against the pillows after taking a sip of the drink.

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You look exhausted."

"I am, I've just got a headache now. What about you? You looked kind of sick when you left the room last night."

"I feel like hell, one day I'll learn not to drink with you kids; I'm getting too old for it." Alex said with a sigh, leaning against the pillows next to Gary.

"You're not that old, Alex, you just turned forty."

"Thanks for the reminder, kiddo." Gary rolled his eyes at the old nickname, closing his eyes after a moment while Alex appeared thoughtful. "Though I suppose you really haven't been a kid for a long time now." Alex added softly.

Gary sighed and kept his eyes closed, not wanting to think about what Alex was referring to as he brushed stray strands of hair out of Gary's face.

"Do you know where Anna is?" Gary asked after a moment of silence.

"She's downstairs in the den. Why?"

"Just wondering… hey, Alex?"

"Yes?"

Gary opened his eyes and sat up straighter, meeting Alex's eyes. "Did you mean what you said last night? About Monica?"

Alex sighed and closed his eyes briefly. "I should have known you would ask me that." He said softly.

"Did you, Alex?"

"Well, I said it and I intend on keeping my word…"

"But?" Gary prompted, sensing that there was more that going unsaid.

"_But_, truth is, Gary, I'm a bit scared of it."

"Why is that?"

Alex sighed again before meeting Gary's intense gaze. "Marriage is a big commitment, Gary – "

"You and Monica are practically married already, you've lived together for six years, your eighth anniversary was over a month ago – don't you think it's about time you at least got engaged?" Gary pointed out.

"Let me ask you something before I answer that," Alex began after long pause. "From what May's told me, you and Anna were _practically dating_ since you came home, why is it that Anna had to be the one to cut off everything between you two for you to even consider dating her? And why is it you took so long to decide afterwards?"

"You think I never thought of it?" Gary asked incredulously, narrowing his eyes at Alex. "Of course I thought about it! I had just come home because I tried to kill myself, I was cutting myself all the time, I'd thought Anna was still on meds and partying all the time – what type of relationship would that be? It would've been over in no time and our friendship would have been ruined."

"You forgot something, Gary."

Gary raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yeah, you were scared – will you stop arguing for once?" Alex asked exasperatedly as Gary opened his mouth in protest. " You were scared of what could go wrong; do you honestly think that you're the only one to feel that way before a relationship with someone close to you changes to something more serious? Because you're not. I'll propose to Monica sometime within the next few years, right now we're both content with the way our relationship is, that's why I'm not worried about not being married after so many years. I want to see you happy and in a good strong relationship before I go and get married."

"I _am_ happy."

"Are you really?" Alex asked gently, not surprised when Gary fell silent and dropped his gaze to the comforter that was still strewn haphazardly across the bed from the night before.

"No." He answered quietly. "I'm happy with Anna and I'm happy that I made up with Kate, and I'm happy that those two are getting along now. And I'm really happy that everyone went through the trouble for yesterday's party… It's just…" Gary sighed and flopped back against the pillows on the bed.

"Just what?" Alex prompted.

"Well, for starters, everyone's been keeping secrets. I can't go down in the lab without being kicked out because everyone is so damn busy with this new 'top-secret' project that they haven't even started yet, Grandpa completely ignores me when I ask about it, Tracey avoids the subject entirely, May changes the subject whenever I bring it up. I suppose you won't tell me either?"

Alex bit back a small smile at the bitter question, thinking that it was ironic for Gary to bring that up when he knew Professor Oak was planning on bringing him down to the lab to talk to him about the project after lunch. "You know I can't tell you anything, Gary." He reminded him.

"I figured that." Gary said irritably, standing and walking to the window, leaning against the piano and pulling aside the curtain to reveal an overcast sky.

"What else is bothering you?" Alex asked calmly, ignoring Gary's irritated sigh.

"Nothing."

"Yeah, right. You know that I know you better than that."

"Just drop it, Alex."

"I'm not leaving the room until you tell me what else is on your mind." Alex told him resolutely, standing to join Gary at the window.

"Who said there was more on my mind?" Gary shot back.

"Stubborn as always, I see." Alex replied lightly.

"Yeah, well, I'm a teenager so I'm allowed to be, so there." Gary said, sticking his tongue out at Alex as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Alex bit back a laugh, knowing Gary was being childish to distract him from the subject; it was something he had done since he had actually been a child. It hadn't worked then either. "Now you're just being petulant."

Gary smiled at him, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Still a teenager."

"Technically, you're an adult now." Alex pointed out. "Maybe you can act like one and talk to me?"

Gary sat down at the piano, silently playing, stalling to avoid facing the troubles that had been bothering him lately. Alex merely leaned against the piano, resting his forearms on the top of the instrument while he watched Gary play for a few minutes.

"I guess the biggest thing is that I miss everyone back in Sinnoh." Gary finally admitted after several moments.

"You talk to them all the time though; I'm constantly having to yell at Andrew to stop texting you in the lab, I know Chris talks to you a few times a week, same with Damien and Shawn –"

"Yeah, but that's not the same as being there and hanging out with them – I mean, seeing them now is great but it's not the same. I'd love to move back there but what about Anna and May? Or everyone else? Then on top of that there's the whole cutting issue…"

"I thought you stopped, Gary?"

"I did: I've been trying. There's been a few times where I've felt like I need to do it though, last night it was so bad that my arms were starting to hurt…" Gary admitted.

"Have you talked to anyone about this?" Alex asked worriedly.

Gary shook his head slightly. "Andrew was in here last night so he knew about that…" He said softly.

"Gary, you need to tell Anna about this; I mean it, she knows what you're going through." Alex said gently, placing a hand on Gary's shoulder, frowning when Gary sighed in response.

"I know that!" Gary moaned, standing up suddenly to return to his bed.

"Hey, don't be like that – come here." Gary paused halfway to his bed and warily watched Alex approach him. He stiffened as he felt Alex's arms slide around him and pull him closer, but soon relaxed into the embrace. "I know this is hard for you, but it just needs time." Alex murmured against Gary's hair. "You'll get through this, you're strong enough to beat it and you have a group of people who love you and know that you'll be alright in the end. You _are_ a son to me and you've always made me proud of you; you know that, right?"

Feeling a lump in his throat while his eyes burned, Gary could only manage a nod, immensely grateful for Alex's comforting words and fatherly embrace. Alex pulled away after a few moments.

"You should come downstairs and have something to eat, you'll feel better then." Alex suggested as Gary sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Actually, I think I'm going to go back to sleep for awhile… sleep off this migraine." Gary muttered, lying back against the pillows once more.

Alex shook his head slightly and handed Gary the half-full sports drink bottle that he had brought in with him. "Drink! You're dehydrated, that's why you have a headache!" He exclaimed, watching Gary curl up under the comforter on the bed. "If I come back up here in half an hour, that bottle better be empty, Gary."

Gary merely nodded slightly, feeling his exhaustion from staying up so late and sleeping so restlessly kicking in. Alex sighed and walked towards the door, leaving it slightly open as he left; knowing Gary most likely wouldn't listen to him and would just go straight to sleep. He made a mental note to himself to have May check on him later on as he walked down the stairs to meet Professor Oak and a few young researchers, with hangovers of varying severity, in the laboratory.

--- --- ---

Andrew eyed the large canopy bed and his friend sleeping soundly, curled amongst the pillows and comforter in a pair of gym shorts and his typical Iron Maiden sweatshirt, as he walked quietly across the room.

'Still sleeping, must be one hell of a hangover.' He thought to himself as he approached the side of the bed where the curtains hung open. 'Not for long though.'

"Wake up!" He yelled, jumping onto the bed and pulling the blanket away from Gary.

Having grown used to Andrew's rude awakenings over the course of two years, Gary was barely startled. He merely groaned and pulled a pillow over his head while Andrew shook his shoulder.

"Come on, Gary, time to get up, you lazy fuck!" Gary swatted Andrew's hand away. "Gaaaary! Wake uuuup!" Andrew whined playfully, trying to wrestle the pillow out of Gary's grasp. "Aw, come on; I need to tell someone about the awesome sex I had with Tracey last night!"

Gary groaned again and relinquished his grip on the pillow over his head. "You drank too much to have sex last night… never mind the fact that Tracey went to bed long before us." He muttered, pulling the comforter around himself once more.

"It was worth a try." Andrew shrugged, pulling the comforter away from his friend once more, only to have it yanked back after receiving a sharp smack to the head. Sighing in defeat, Andrew laid down next to Gary, draping an arm over his waist and whispering in his ear. "You're cute when you're sleeping anyway."

Gary rolled his eyes. "I liked you so much more when I thought you were straight." He muttered drowsily, closing his eyes once more. "Are you sure you're just bi and not full-blown queer now?"

Andrew chuckled and pulled Gary closer to him. "You know you love it." He said, slipping a hand under Gary's sweatshirt to lightly run his hand along his side in a ticklish manner.

"Stop!" Gary complained, swatting the hand away and muttering something about wanting to sleep.

Andrew laughed softly and stayed quiet for a minute, allowing Gary a brief moment of false security before speaking once more.

"Looks like someone's gone too long without getting laid, maybe I could help you with that?" He said lightly, slowly inching his hand along Gary's waist.

"Andrew…" Gary warned tiredly.

Andrew smirked and slid his hand between Gary's legs and Gary groaned despite himself as Andrew massaged him lightly. Feeling himself grow hard under Andrew's touch, Gary wished that it was Anna's hand that teased him.

Anna… The name jerked Gary fully awake. "Andrew, stop." He said softly, feeling slightly disappointed when Andrew obediently withdrew his hand.

"I'm just messing with you; I wouldn't try taking you away from Anna." Andrew assured him, resting his hand on Gary's hip as he lay next to him. "Besides, I'm still in my refractory period – between Tracey's mouth and tight ass – "

"I really don't want to hear it." Gary interrupted wearily, rolling onto his back and turning his head to face Andrew.

Andrew laughed at Gary's discomfort and sat up. "You're so easy to mess with, I was joking… though we did have sex this morning." He paused, ignoring Gary's roll of the eyes as he played with the edge of the blanket. "To be honest, I think I actually want to try a relationship." He said softly, turning serious while Gary frowned at him.

"This better not end up being a repeat of Emily or Lauren… or Bianca, for that matter. I actually like Tracey, I don't want you fucking up a relationship with one of my friends." Gary paused, still frowning. "I'm still sorry about the Bianca thing… I didn't realize you two were 'dating'."

"No, Bianca was a whore either way; she'd suck anything that could fit in her mouth and fuck anything that would fit in her pussy. It's not your fault she decided to suck you off after you helped her study for microbiology and it's not like I told anyone that we were involved. You said that you two made out though – by the way, how do I taste as leftovers?" Andrew teased, thinking back on an event in Sinnoh when he had found out his best friend and girlfriend had messed around together.

Gary laughed softly. "I would answer that if I was positive it was you she had blown last."

"Ain't that the truth?" Andrew asked with a slight sigh before going on. "As far as Emily and Lauren go… Lauren just likes guys with money, I still can't believe you told her that you wouldn't fuck her with someone else's cock – "

"That was Bianca I said that to." Gary pointed out.

"What was it you said to Lauren then?" Andrew asked, Gary shrugged in response and Andrew continued. "Either way, she moved onto that rich French guy. She was a boring lay anyways, loud though." He laughed at Gary's nod. "I felt bad about Emily though, I liked her; too bad she couldn't get it through her head that we were just playing around when we kissed that time…"

"In her defense, most girls _would_ feel a bit scorned if they saw their boyfriend making out with another guy."

"Would Anna?" Andrew asked with a smirk.

Gary laughed softly. "Anna would probably turn the kiss into a threesome… Want to know what she told me I told her that I'm bisexual?"

"That it was sexier than anything else in the world and that it made her hot as hell, and then I bet you two fucked like crazy." Andrew answered dryly, with a small grin.

Gary shook his head with an amused snort. "Closer than you'd think actually. She told me she'd been fantasizing about seeing me with another guy… and, yeah, we had sex. Wasn't too crazy though, May had just given me eleven stitches in my arm, I couldn't really last that long."

Andrew laughed again before turning serious. "You and Anna really have a great thing going, I wish I had something like that with someone. It's just been kind of… I dunno, frustrating, I guess, seeing Alex and Monica all the time, hearing about Chris talk about Bella, hearing about you and Anna, and then there's Charlotte going on and on about the details of her and Tim's wedding, and then there's Shane and Liana and Ashley and Beth. Even Nik has a girlfriend now, Logan calls her the powerslave because she does anything Nik tells her to and listens to anything her tells her to – "

"That sounds boring. As much as I hate it, I'm kind of glad Anna listens to Metallica and all that shit… mixes it up a bit." Gary interrupted.

Andrew quirked an eyebrow at his comment. "I think you need to go play some Bach on that cello of yours to redeem yourself for that comment. Anyway, Danny's got a girlfriend apparently, I haven't met her yet. Logan had one for a few days – poor guy, this girl's really been screwing with him, he even wrote a song about it… well technically Tim wrote the song, Logan just wrote the lyrics. David had a girl for awhile – I just feel left out of it all. I mean, I can sleep with just about anyone but I can't seem to get past that."

"Maybe you're just not trying with the right people." Gary suggested, sitting up at Andrew's suddenly sullen mood.

"Maybe I'm trying the wrong gender." Andrew muttered.

"You're bi, is there such thing as the wrong gender for you?" Gary asked with a small smirk that faded as Andrew fixed him with a morose gaze. "What's up, Andrew?"

Andrew picked at the comforter some more before answering. "I think I might actually be more than bi." He muttered under his breath, barely loud enough for Gary to hear.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Well, I don't know. I mean, I like having sex with girls, I like looking at chicks and all… I just seem to get on better with guys." Andrew admitted, looking troubled.

Gary frowned, thinking for a moment before speaking. "Maybe you're attracted to both but connect more with guys… kind of like me: I like both but I connect more with girls."

"From what I understand, you connect equally with myself, Tracey, Anna, and Chelsea – to name the people you've been involved with the most over the past two years. With Anna a bit more, obviously, because there's so much between you two. I think you're truly bisexual but squeamish."

"Well, that's reassuring." Gary said sarcastically before softening slightly. "Look, Tracey's become one of my good friends these past few months so I don't want to see something bad happen, but I think you'll only know if you try dating a guy. Only problem is that you live in Sinnoh and Tracey lives here, that would complicate things a bit."

Andrew laughed uncomfortably, wanting to tell Gary that he wouldn't be living in Sinnoh for much longer but knowing that he couldn't until later that afternoon. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see how everything works out." He said softly.

"Yeah. What's going on with Bella and Chris anyway?" Gary asked suddenly.

"I have no fucking clue. All I know is Chris is crazy about her and they talk on the phone nonstop."

"Oh, so that would be why the phone's always busy when I try calling the house." Gary muttered in annoyance.

"That would be why. Kind of weird though, isn't it? Bella seems like this really classy chick and then Chris is… a metal drummer that likes Cannibal Corpse and Behemoth. They clash quite a bit."

"Bella's cool though –"

"You're required to say that, she's your sister's best friend." Andrew pointed out.

"Yeah, but I like my sister's friends."

"That's because you've slept with them all!"

"Not with _all_ of them!"

"Only most of them!"

Gary sighed, holding back a laugh. "You're really annoying, you know that?"

Andrew laughed at that, stopping as a knock sounded at the door and a boy with messy black hair poked his head in the room.

"Hey, Ash." Gary greeted calmly, smiling at their newest arrival.

"Hey, um, Professor Oak asked me to tell you that he wants to see you in the lab after lunch." Ash told him, stepping in to the room.

"Oh, thanks. What time is anyway?" Gary asked Andrew.

"About twelve-thirty." Ash answered.

"Shit… I can't believe I slept that long." Gary muttered, climbing out of the bed and walking towards the door, pausing halfway there. "I didn't get a chance to introduce you two yet; Andrew, Ash was one of my best friends when we were kids; we were rivals in Kanto and Johto, but we're sort of friends now." Ash and Andrew both noticed the uncertainty in his voice at the last part. "And, Ash, Andrew's my best friend, he was one of my roommates back in Sinnoh."

Andrew greeted a slightly uncomfortable Ash in his usual cheerful manner as he stood and followed Gary to the door.

"Coming with me?" Gary asked Andrew.

"No, I've spent enough time in a lab… well, I guess I'll come…" He resigned as Gary gave him a playful pout. "Only if we can have something to eat first though!" He called after Gary as he headed down the hall to the stairs.

--- --- ---

Tracey was in the kitchen already when Gary and the other two boys came downstairs, along with Anna, Charlotte, Tim, May, and Damien. Charlotte was sitting between Tim and Anna at the kitchen table, flipping through a catalogue of dresses while Anna and May, who was standing behind the two girls with her arms resting on Anna's shoulders, pointed out ones they liked. Damien was busy at the counter, piling frozen Bagel Bites onto trays to make for lunch, while Tracey peered in the fridge for something other than a pizza-based food. Missy and Chelsea were on the porch with Kate, Jon, and Michelle, all sitting at the wooden table with a box of leftover pizza open before them.

May turned as the three boys entered the room. "Ah, he lives!" She exclaimed, throwing her brother a grin as rolled his eyes and walked over to Tracey. "Hey, Ash, I didn't know you were here. Did Gary and Andrew con you into hanging out with them?"

Ash laughed and smiled at May. "No, Professor Oak asked me to tell Gary to see him in the lab and I'm just kind of hanging out right now."

"You slept in this morning." Tracey observed as Gary leaned on the open refrigerator door.

"I didn't sleep too well last night." Gary admitted, sighing as Andrew asked him to get him a soda and May told him to grab one for Ash as well.

Tracey snickered softly as Gary grabbed one soda, shook it and tossed it to Andrew before tossing another to Ash, who caught it looking slightly surprised.

Andrew walked over to the sink before opening his can, which promptly spewed the brown drink all over his hands and into the metal basin. He glared at Gary, who merely smiled in response. "_Paskiainen._" He muttered while Gary shook his head with a small smirk.

"_Verpiss dich_." He responded lightly.

Charlotte rolled her eyes as she turned the page in her magazine. "_Mund halten, bitte_!" She said to the boys as May and Anna gushed over a dress in the magazine.

"I take it you're hungry and don't want leftover pizza?" Tracey asked Gary, still searching the fridge for something that didn't require cooking.

Gary sighed and nodded before pulling out vegetables and stalking over to the cutting board on the counter.

"Making enough for me?" Tracey asked.

"Don't I always?"

Tracey leaned against the counter next to the sink, watching Gary from a few feet away as Andrew began chattering on about something with Damien. He sighed and pulled himself up onto the counter and was happy when Ash came over and began talking to him. Despite the fact that Ash was talking to him, Tracey had a hard time focusing on the conversation as he relaxed in the comfortable feel of the room, listening to the other conversations and the small radio that sat on the windowsill playing a classic rock station. Tracey noticed Ash slowly relax as well while Gary and Andrew talked about all sorts of things ranging from music to girls to the latest research being done, all the while switching back and forth between English and German while Charlotte occasionally added her voice to their conversation with her own German.

Gary was in the middle of describing some newly-discovered species of deep-sea squid that he had read about to Andrew when Ash interrupted him with a question that had suddenly occurred to him. "Gary, when did you learn to speak other languages?"

"When I was home between the Indigo League and Johto, I found some old German books in the study – I think they were my mother's at some point – I was bored so I kind of taught myself. Andrew and Charlotte both speak it fluently so I got a lot better with it in Sinnoh. Andrew taught me some Finnish too." He added with a small smirk that made Tracey wonder if he knew anything other than curses in said language.

Andrew and Gary had resumed their conversation when Tracey and Ash heard Charlotte softly ask Anna a question when Anna had come across a dress in the magazine that she seemed to fall in love with. "So when are you and Gary going to get married?"

The knife Gary was using to carefully chop the vegetables suddenly slipped and struck the marble countertop with a clang, causing Andrew to laugh.

"Spazz." Andrew teased. "Are you sure you're able to manage that knife, Gary? Maybe I should be the one to do the cutting."

"Andrew, I'm hung over, I have a migraine, I'm exhausted, _and_ I'm holding a sharp knife – do you really think now is the best time to fuck with me?" Gary's comment made most people in the kitchen laugh while Andrew sat down at the table on the side away from Gary before talking to Tim.

Ash had been surprised when Gary began talking to Ash while he sat on the counter after eating. "How long are you going to be in town, Ashy?" He asked with a small smirk, knowing how much the younger boy hated being called that.

"Until my birthday."

"You're staying through March? That's an awfully long time for you."

"I need to decide where to go and what to do next." Ash said almost sheepishly under Gary's gaze.

"Well I can see how that would be a problem; you _have_ been through the main regions and you've competed in most of the competitions in them… Did you think about redoing Kanto? There are at least four gyms that you didn't go to and a few of the other gym leaders have changed since then, you'll probably make it further than you did last time." Gary suggested.

Ash nodded. "I thought about it, I know there's a lot of places I haven't been but I want to see what other options there are… I was actually going to ask Professor Oak if he knows what trainers need to do to become a gym leader…"

"A gym leader isn't the same as a pokemon master." Gary pointed out loftily, leaning back against the cabinet behind him.

"I had no idea." Ash replied sarcastically, catching Gary off guard.

"Gary, get off the counter." Gary was about to retort to Ash's sarcasm when his grandfather's voice cut him off. Gary rolled his eyes and slid off of the counter to land lightly on the dark tiles of the kitchen floor. "If you're done – "

"I'll be there in a minute." Gary interrupted, remembering that he was supposed to head down to the lab. "Let me get dressed first… Hey, Charlotte, do you want me to show you around the reserve later? You could get some pretty neat pictures." He asked, pausing in the doorway.

"Oh, that would be awesome, Gary!" Charlotte exclaimed before talking excitedly about her newest camera gear.

"You can come too, Ash, if you want." Gary offered, not wanting to leave his former rival scorned and out of the picture. He frowned when he heard his grandfather call him from down the hall. "Alright, I'm coming! Chill out."

--- --- ---

Gary glared at his reflection in the mirror as he irritably pulled a brush through his tangled hair after realizing that it was still a mess after sleeping , showering, and sleeping some more. He had changed into a pair of jeans and pulled on a pair of shoes, remembering the proper lab etiquette that had been drilled into his brain since he could properly understand English. Finally giving up on his hair, he opted to pull it back, figuring his grandfather would prefer it that way anyways, before heading down to the lab.

When he reached the laboratory, his grandfather was nowhere in sight while Alex and Monica were talking over papers and cups of tea on one of the lab benches in front of a window. Andrew, Shawn, and Chelsea were at a large chalkboard, drawing out complex hydrocarbon chains with branches and substituent groups all over the place while they tried naming them – a sort of game they had started doing to prepare for Alex's organic chemistry exams. Ash and Tracey were on the opposite side of the lab, Tracey showing Ash something on a lab bench and apparently explaining something.

"Gary! How're you feeling?" Chelsea called as soon as he entered the lab and headed in their direction.

"Still got a bit of a headache; not bad though. What are you guys doing? I don't see how you could possibly be entertained by this stuff." Gary gestured to the enormous molecule that Andrew was drawing out while Shawn frowned deeply and wrote small notes on the side of the board as he tried to figure out the name.

"We got bored waiting on you and Andrew." Chelsea explained, watching as Shawn finally began writing out a long name that took up a huge portion of the board.

"You guys were waiting on me? Why didn't you just come and get me then?" Gary asked as Shawn gave a triumphant cry and put down his piece of chalk. Gary glanced over the molecule and the name Shawn had written while Andrew did the same. "Wrong, Shawn. It's a carboxylic acid – see the double-bonded oxygen and the alcohol group on the hexyl group off of the sixteenth carbon? … And you missed the amine group on that propyl group on the seventh carbon."

"Actually that's the twenty-second carbon… see how there's a magnesium over here? That's the first carbon, making that one the twenty-second." Shawn replied, pointing to the different atoms.

"Are you sure?"

"You're both wrong." Chelsea said, walking to the board and pointing out the mistakes the boys had made.

The teens were still debating the molecule ten minutes later when Professor Oak returned from outside. Gary looked up as he approached them, still wondering why his grandfather wanted him in the lab when Gary hadn't been allowed in for the past several weeks.

"Hey, Grandpa. You wanted to see me?"

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

A fairly short chapter, just to break the monotony of the many looong chapters that this fic as evolved into.

This chapter was mainly a buffer between the two surprises for Gary. I wanted to show the relationship between Gary and Alex, it will come into play at some point in the future. Similarly, I wanted to show another side to the friendship between Gary and Andrew, seeing as we've already seen the sexual, playful, violent, and caring sides already. Sorry to sneak in the random organic chemistry, I've got my final exam in that class in about ten days from now so I'd say it's on my mind.

Foreign language stuff:

_Paskiainen_ – Finnish for "shithead"

_Verpiss dich_ – German for "piss off"

_Mund halten, bitte_ – German for "please shut up"


	28. Chapter 28: Surprise Part 3

**Beyond The Walls**

::NOTE – **I rewrote this entire chapter!** I said in the original that I was incredibly disappointed with it and after reading Arch-trainer's review, I got a better idea for it and rewrote it entirely. It still contains some of the same dialogue as the first version but it is completely different. If you read the first version, please review and let me know what you think of this version in comparison! Thanks and I hope this one is better!

Chapter 28: Surprise Part 3

Professor Oak smiled warmly at his grandson. "You certainly took your time heading down here, Gary." He said lightly, not noticing the frown on Gary's face. "And, yes, I did want to see you. I want to talk to you about something important, but first, I have something to tell you."

Gary continued to frown, wondering what on earth his grandfather wanted to talk to him about as he followed the older man to a corner of the large lab that contained several desks along the walls. He noticed now that the desks that used to be used by the professor's former lab assistants, but had merely collected stacks of paperwork, broken equipment, and dust for the past several years, had been cleaned off since he had last been in the lab. The dated computers that had been on the desks before had been replaced by new ones, far nicer than the old ones. The shelves above each desk had been filled with books and journals pertaining to different subjects; the shelves above one desk had been devoted to anatomy and medical texts, above another desk were several biochemical texts, another desk contained books on microbiology as well as reproduction, which Gary found to be rather odd, while yet another desk appeared to be devoted to general biology and pokemon behavior. They stopped at the last desk and Professor Oak gestured for Gary to sit.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" Gary asked warily as he slowly sat down in the chair at the desk, his eyes flicking up to glance over the contents of the shelf. He was surprised to see the shelf filled with texts on genetics and journals on genetic engineering and cloning – his grandfather had never been particularly interested in that field and Gary was well aware of this fact. His eyes fell to the surface of the desk where a journal lay open to a report that he recognized. He recognized it immediately, not surprising, considering he had written part of it. He was slightly disappointed to notice his name last in the list of researchers, yet he understood why that was; after all, in science, seniority overruled genius. He knew he had been a mere intern who happened to come up with an idea after reading _Jurassic Park_ too many times, it was miraculous that the idea had worked in the first place.

Professor Oak noticed Gary glance at the report and smiled. "You made me very proud when I read that, Gary." He said softly, leaning against the desk to the right of the one Gary was sitting at.

"Thank you." Gary muttered, lowering his eyes to the floor as a slight flush spread across his cheeks.

The professor laughed softly. "So you can be modest around me but not around anyone else?" He asked lightly, surprised by the fact that Gary had no smart comment to make about it.

Gary glanced up at his grandfather, a slight smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Are you trying to say that I'm egotistical?" He asked, knowing the answer.

"You? Egotistical? Oh no, of course not, Gary!" Professor Oak replied sarcastically, smiling as Gary laughed.

"I'm not as bad as I used to be." Gary pointed out, picking at the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

"I don't think it's possible for anyone to be as egotistical as you used to be, Gary!" Ash's voice came from a few lab benches away, where the boy was still hanging out with Tracey.

"Watch it, Ashy-boy; who's the better trainer here?" Gary shot back with a smirk.

"The one who made it further in competitions." Professor Oak said at the same time as Ash replied.

"The one who's still a trainer."

Gary ignored Ash's reply and turned back to his grandfather with an indignant squawk. "Hey! Who's side are you on?"

Professor Oak laughed at his grandson's reaction. "I'm not picking sides for this particular battle." He said simply, smiling as Gary's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Grandpa! You're supposed to side with me, I'm your own flesh and blood! Alex, shut up!" He called across the room as Alex began laughing at the exchange while Gary forced down his own laughter.

"Ah, some things never change." The professor said with a smile.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gary exclaimed, momentarily forgetting the reason he was even in the lab.

"Never mind that, Gary, we're getting off topic."

"Then get back on topic: what am I doing here?"

"Patience is a virtue, Gary."

"Oh yeah, _now_ who's off topic?"

Professor Oak laughed again. "Never mind. Do me a favor and open that drawer to your right."

Gary opened the drawer in question and pulled out the only two contents with a frown. "_Jurassic Park_ and Powerslave?" He asked in confusion, staring down at the book and cd in hand.

"I figured that, since these are two of your favorite things, they would wind up down here sometime over the next few months, so I thought I would put them someplace where you could easily find them." Professor Oak explained with a cryptic smile.

"What are you talking about?" Gary asked slowly, his frown deepening as he glanced up to meet his grandfather's eyes.

"You know that research project that we've been –"

"You mean the research project that you've been working on non-stop with Tracey and May while completely leaving me out of the loop? The one that you keep kicking me out of the lab – "

"Hey, Gary! You're on the research team, stop whining!"

"I wasn't whin –" Gary paused, his grandfather's words slowly sinking in. "Wait, what?"

"You heard me, Gary."

Gary shook his head, he must have misheard his grandfather somehow. "I think I'm still drunk. Andrew, how much did you let me drink last night?" He asked incredulously, raising his voice for his friend to hear him across the lab.

Professor Oak shook his head with a grin. "Gary, you heard me correctly. You're on the research team; we didn't want to tell you about the project because we wanted to surprise you."

Gary froze, staring at his grandfather for a long moment before the shock finally hit him. "Oh my god," He said softly, covering his face with his hands. "I think I might faint." He added with a slight laugh.

"Oh, like that time in anatomy lab when we had to take out the clefairy's eyeball and dissect it?" Andrew asked from across the room, he frowned at the lack of response from Gary while Chelsea and Shawn turned from the molecule on the board to stare at him.

"Andrew, _you're_ the one that passed out in that lab." Shawn reminded him.

"Yeah, Gary didn't even throw up that time." Chelsea spoke up. "I thought for sure that he was going to go down though – remember how pale he went, Shawn?" She laughed.

"Are you serious?" Gary finally asked, ignoring the comments of his friends.

"Would I joke about this, Gary?"

"I would hope not…" Gary muttered under his breath. "Wait, you never even told me_ what_ the project is."

"I was wondering when you would bring that up." Professor Oak said. "Do you remember when Tracey and I visited the university at the end of the last fall semester?"

Gary nodded. He remembered that semester vividly, it had been his first semester living with his roommates and it was full of partying, bickering, compromising, and experimenting. His grandfather had visited in the beginning of November, when there were only three weeks before the last day of classes followed by a week of exams, to give a guest lecture on his findings from a then-recently completed and published study. Tracey and the professor had spent a week in Sinnoh and Gary had barely seen them, too busy studying with Chelsea, Andrew, and Shawn for an upcoming anatomy exam – anatomy was not Gary's strong point – as well as working on a huge ecology data report.

"Well, when we were there, Damien told Dr. Harris and I something quite interesting about a litter between an umbreon and an espeon that he had heard about." Gary frowned; his grandfather couldn't possibly be referring to the strange litter that two of Ashley's breeding pokemon had in October of the year he was talking about. "What he told us raised a lot of questions about pokemon reproduction, particularly amongst eevees and their various evolutionary forms. I'm not sure whether or not you know this, but there haven't been any scientific studies or experimentations done on that particular subject since the early sixties, which were highly unethical, I should add – they were a huge sensation when I was in school for my bachelor's degree. I'm sorry, I'm getting off topic; Dr. Harris – "

"Alex." Gary interrupted, groaning slightly at his grandfather's questioning expression. "I've never called Alex 'Dr. Harris' in my life; you don't have to refer to him like that around me, I'm not a little kid."

Across the room, Alex smiled to himself at Gary's words. Gary hadn't even called him Dr. Harris in classes; Alex hadn't minded but it caused Gary to be the target of the animosity of some other students.

Professor Oak nodded wearily; Gary had a point. "Right. _Alex_ and I spent quite some time discussing what Damien told us and, after a few weeks of discussion, we decided to begin a study together. Of course, we knew we couldn't do much more than read what others had done; after all, I only have Tracey and occasionally May as my lab assistants and Alex only had Chris at the time. Neither of us were in the proper field for a project of the sort we were interested in – myself being in ecology and Alex primarily in biochemistry with only a small amount of experience in genetics. We knew we had to come up with an idea for a proper research team – and find people who not only would be capable of it, but be interested in the project – as well as brainstorm the actual experimentation. After a few months of brainstorming, we came up with our own ideas, combined them, and tweaked them until we had an idea that would work." He paused, noticing that Gary still looked shell-shocked from the revelation a few minutes prior. "Still following me?"

Gary nodded. "Yeah." He said distractedly, wishing his grandfather would just come out and tell him specifically what the project was.

"Good. Well, then we started looking into specimens, equipment, research partners – anything and everything required for a major scientific undertaking – and, aside from the equipment, we came up fairly empty-handed. Then, thanks to Dr. Smith, uh, Monica, to you, I suppose?" Gary nodded and the professor continued once more. "Thanks to Monica, we realized that everything we needed was pretty much right under our noses! Especially for Alex: teaching at the university brings him into contact with a diverse group of young researchers and, between himself and Monica, they can see who has the capabilities to perform in a study so large and complicated."

"Um, Grandpa?" Professor Oak raised his eyebrows in inquiry as to Gary's interruption. "Could I get the Cliff's Notes version?"

The professor stared at him blankly for a few seconds while Tracey laughed at Gary's blunt question. "Oh, sure, of course. I guess you want to have time to hang out with your friends _sometime_ today?"

"Well, yeah, but the suspense is kind of killing me here." Gary replied dryly with a slight roll of the eyes.

"Ok, I'll cut to the chase. You know how pokemon only give birth to their evolutionary base, right?" Gary gave him a look that clearly said 'I'm not an idiot'. "Ok, that was a stupid question, of course you know that. There have always been rumors about pokemon giving birth to litters that have already evolved in the womb but no one has ever done a study on it so that's what we're going to do. With eevee evolutions to be precise."

Gary leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he thought over what the professor had just said. "Eevee research… you would need someone for the genetics portion considering eevee's genetic code. The code would only get more screwy working with the reproduction of the evolutions…" Gary mused. He paused as something else occurred to him. "The rest of the team came from the university?" Professor Oak nodded, curious to see if Gary would be able to guess who was on the team without any hints other than what he had already been told. "People I would know?"

"Perhaps." Was the cryptic reply

Gary groaned, he didn't feel like playing guessing games just to find out who else his grandfather intended on having on this research team; especially considering the fact that he strongly disliked many of his former classmates and this was an enormous and potentially groundbreaking study. He knew his grandfather was being cryptic for a reason, he was most likely testing Gary to see if he could figure out the team on his own. "I'll take that as a yes." He said flatly, standing to take a closer look at the books above the other shelves. "I assume Tracey and May are part of the team as well?" He asked his grandfather as he stood in front of the desk next to his.

"Of course."

"I know you'll only take on people with reputable experience, so if you're using people from the school, they'll most likely have either worked with a prominent professor or doctor for their internship and they'll have probably worked as a lab assistant at the school." Gary mused, glancing over the biology books and taking down a text on pokemon behavior that looked remarkably like a text Andrew had used in one of his courses a few semesters back. "With that in mind; there were only three general biology majors that also had a minor in behavior or psychology and I only knew one of them. That person not only worked with Professor Birch but he also worked as a lab assistant." Gary ran his fingers along the edge of the pages before opening the book to a random page which bore the marks of purple and blue highlighter – Andrew always had color-coded his highlighting in text books; he closed the book again and opened the front cover to reveal the name written in blue ink. "Andrew, of course, like I thought. He's good with pokemon too, I'm sure Alex brought that up before you decided on him."

Professor Oak smiled. "Are you positive?" Gary nodded, his knowing smirk faltering when his grandfather quirked an eyebrow. "How do you know it's not someone else and Andrew just loaned his book to us?"

Gary frowned and pulled open the top drawer on the right of the desk, the same one that had held his book and Iron Maiden cd on the other desk. There was only one thing in it and he almost missed it sitting in the back corner. A small, thick red guitar pick – the same type his friends used exclusively. "Like I said, Andrew." Gary said with a smile, placing the book and pick on the desk and closing the drawer as he walked to the next desk and peered at the books. "Microbiology and reproduction. There were a lot of microbiology majors and a bunch of them worked with Dr. Carroll as assistants in his research on egg and sperm cell interaction but only one interned with him." Gary opened the drawer and removed a worn piece of paper. "Nightwish, November fifteenth. The concert Shawn went to and the ticket that Shawn uses as a bookmark. Need I say more?"

"Two down, not bad, Gary." Professor Oak said with a proud smile as he watched his grandson close the drawer to the desk and place the ticket on the desk.

"That one was pretty obvious though, Grandpa. The only way it could've been more obvious was to put a piece of paper on the desk saying 'virgin and possibly gay'."

"I heard that!" Shawn called, scowling as Gary laughed softly.

"I was kidding – I know you like girls… though the fact that you read Laurell K. Hamilton novels makes me question that." Gary muttered, glancing at the biochemistry books on the shelf above the next desk. "I'm going to guess Chris since he's worked with Alex as a lab assistant for the past three years and since he only has one semester left before he gets his master's. But, to humor you…" He pulled open the drawer and took out a worn book. "_Hannibal_…" Gary muttered, shaking his head as he flipped through the pages to reveal notes in the margins. "Definitely Chris." He said with a small smirk, tossing the book on the desk; Chris had a fascination with abnormal psychology as well as serial killers, the _Hannibal _series of books was his favorite and he analyzed the books deeply. It was one reason he got along so well with Damien, Jon, and Andrew, who all had a vast interest in psychology in some form or another; Gary had never cared for it much, it made him uncomfortable to think of what others might see in him.

"I'd say _that_ was the easy one, even without the book." Professor Oak pointed out, Gary ignored the comment.

"One person left and I'm guessing it's Chelsea – there were only six pre-med majors in my freshman class and she did her internship with Professor Ivy. Just in case though…" In the drawer was a metal keychain of a scuba diving flag – Chelsea loved to dive whenever she got a chance, it probably had something to do with growing up in the subtropical archipelago. Gary looked up at his grandfather with a small smirk on his face. "Did I pass your test?"

"With flying colors, as usual." Professor Oak replied.

Gary leaned against the desk and laughed in disbelief, still surprised. "All this time I was so pissed at you because I thought you didn't want me involved in this because of school… and in the end, you were planning on me being involved the whole time!" He paused, shaking his head. "I can't believe it. You seriously want me on your research team?"

"I thought I'd made that part obvious, Gary." Professor Oak said with a smile and a soft laugh. "The question is, do you want to be on it?"

"Of course! You realize eevee's been one of my favorite pokemon, right? Ever since Ashley told me about that litter her umbreon and espeon had, I've wanted to be able to research that; and on top of that, you want me to work with, not only you and Alex, but with four of my friends from school _and _Tracey and May? Grandpa, why the _hell_ would I turn down something like _that_?"

The professor laughed at the excited response. "I'm glad you feel that way. We're not starting until January, at the beginning of the spring semester. Since Alex is part of this project, it can serve as Chris' independent study while he finishes his other classes online – part of the reason we're waiting. I believe Andrew and Shawn are also going to be doing online classes for the masters degrees as well." Gary nodded, slightly worried that he was going to try pressuring him into starting on his degree as well. "You know I'd like to see you do the same, but you don't have to. I personally think you should wait awhile longer before going back to school, especially since you've been on a semester-long vacation from anything involving work and now you'll be starting research once more."

"Do you actually think that?" Gary asked suspiciously, his grandfather had pressured him often about school in August and September, he had been the one to very strongly encourage – just short of force – Gary to take advantage of the university allowing him to begin classes at fifteen.

"Yes, Gary, I do. Most people your age are graduating high school or just beginning college, you've already done much more than that. I don't see why you should have to rush into the next part when I've already rushed you through everything else."

Gary let out a shaky breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Finally, his grandfather understood and, finally, he was letting him make his own decision – granted he had essentially always done that, stepping in to offer a guiding hand that Gary was always quick to follow, but now he was allowing Gary to guide himself. That realization meant more to him than his inclusion in the project he had resented over the past few months.

"Thank you." He whispered, stepping away from the desk to hug his grandfather. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

The professor smiled as he embraced his grandson. "You're welcome, Gary. I know how much being involved in this project means to you."

"It's not just that." Gary said softly as his grandfather's grip on him tightened slightly.

"I know."

--- --- ---

The lab door swung closed loudly behind Gary as he stepped into the hallway leading back to the house, startling the young woman standing a few feet away.

"Anna! Guess what!"

Anna already knew the reasoning behind the wide grin on Gary's face as he pulled her into his arms once he reached her. "What?" She asked with a smile.

Gary knew Anna was probably already aware of the news but he told her anyways, his words jumbling slightly in his rush to tell her. Anna smiled up at him, thrilled to see Gary far happier than he had been as long as she could remember. She knew he had longed to be part of this project of Professor Oak's but even she was surprised by Gary's joy as he continued talking happily about it. After a few moments, Anna reached out and placed a finger against Gary's lips, surprised when she saw a tear trace its path down Gary's pale cheek.

"Sweetie, you're crying?" She said in confusion, frowning as she reached up to wipe away the lone tear.

"I know, it's pitiful, isn't it?" Gary asked with a laugh, wiping his eyes.

Anna shook her head. "It's not pitiful at all, this is something huge for you. I know it means a lot to you." She leaned forward to plant a sweet kiss against his lips, which he returned with a fervor that caught her slightly off-guard.

Anna groaned softly against Gary's lips as his hands slid down her sides to toy with the waist of her jeans. One hand slid around her waist and pulled her, if possible, closer against his chest. Anna pulled away from the kiss suddenly. "Upstairs." She whispered, turning and dragging Gary along with her as she ran down the hall with a laugh.

Once upstairs and in the privacy of Gary's room, the kisses turned passionate as they rolled on the bed, nearly battling for dominance as their clothes were tossed on the ground around the bed. Anna gazed up at Gary when they were finished, hands sliding along his bare back before coming to at rest behind his head, resting gently on the back of his neck while he maintained his position over her, arms trembling slightly as they supported his weight. Gary lowered his head slightly, enough to brush his nose against hers with a tiny smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"First time since what you said on the beach," He said softly against her lips before kissing her gently.

Anna said nothing, simply returning his steady gaze, moving her hands to lightly cup his face, fingers delicately tracing over his cheekbones before gently sweeping aside the strands of auburn hair that fell around their faces. Gary smiled at her gesture, closing his eyes serenely and turning his head to trail kisses along the hand that remained against his face. Anna dropped her hand from his face, returning them to the back of his neck to tangle lightly in his mussed hair as Gary slowly slid off of her to lie next to her, pulling her close to him and trailing soft kisses along her cheek and jaw.

The kisses stopped after a moment and Anna felt Gary's lips move against her cheek in silent words. Anna pulled away slightly and met his eyes, suddenly understanding the three mouthed words. Longing to say the words that were on her tongue but remembering the conversation they'd had on the same bed the night before, Anna merely smiled understandingly, promising herself that she wouldn't speak the words again until he finally said them to her.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Well, for starters, I truly hope that anyone reading this after having read the first version likes this one more. Like I said, Arch-trainer's review gave me an idea and I decided to go with it and I much prefer it over the original.

I had rushed through that particular chapter, eager to just get Gary to find out about the project and then move on past this part of the story. When I re-read the chapter I was like "What was I thinking when I wrote that?" – seriously. I wanted to have interaction between Gary and Professor Oak but went completely beyond that and had Professor Oak ramble on and on instead of just telling Gary and it annoyed the _hell_ out of me when I read it, I was thinking "Just freaking tell him already!". Then I got to the end and I was like "Where the hell is Gary's reaction?! What type of ending is _that_?".

Oi! *hits self in head with physics notebook* That chapter was a prime example of why you shouldn't write when you don't feel like writing.

Anyway, I think this version is much better, I changed a lot, obviously. I changed the entire description of the lab and my entire idea of it. I tweaked the specialties of the kids a bit: Andrew originally was just a general bio person who was good with pokemon, but now he has experience with behavior – this actually changed a huge portion of my original idea of Andrew as far as being a researcher goes. I changed the interaction between Gary and Professor Oak _and_ I even added in Gary's reaction to the news and how he tells Anna about it. Also, instead of having Gary guess that he was the final member of the team, I had Professor Oak tell him and had Gary guess the rest; I thought it would be a more creative way to reveal facts about the other characters. By the way, I didn't intend on that scene between Gary and Anna being so cheesy, I didn't even intend on having a sex scene between them but it led to something that needed to happen between them at some point.

Please let me know what you think and, if you get a chance, check out the poll on my profile about this story!

Thanks for reading!

Arch-trainer: Thank you so much for your review! I'm so much more pleased with this chapter now and I think I owe it to you because your review gave me the idea.


	29. Chapter 29: Anxiety

**Beyond The Walls**

::NOTE – Chapter 28 was **completely redone**! Please go back and read it because it is entirely different now. There's also a bit of an important scene between Gary and Anna at the end of that chapter too.

Chapter 29: Anxiety

The weekend passed rather uneventfully after Professor Oak revealed the truth about the research project to Gary and Tracey was able to notice a definite change in Gary's attitude. They had spent most of the time either in the music room or, surprisingly more often, in the den. On Sunday afternoon, Shane and Liana left with Nik, Danny, and Ben because Nik, Danny and Shane all needed to get back for work. Logan and David, who had arrived with Nik and the other boys, decided to stay and hitch a ride with Charlotte and Tim whenever they decided to leave. Ashley, Beth, and Missy left at the same time because Ashley and Missy couldn't leave the large amount of pokemon in Ashley's breeding program alone for extended periods of time, Chris had regretfully gone with them because he needed to leave for Johto on Tuesday. The atmosphere seemed a bit more relaxed in the afternoon on Monday with half of the guests gone; it was as though everyone could sit back and talk instead of constantly playing music or competing in some way. It was in this smaller group that Tracey felt more of a sense of everyone's personality and the friendship between everyone.

It seemed as though Michelle, Anna, May, and Bella hit it off very well with Charlotte; which was somewhat unsurprising to Tracey considering how well the girls had gotten on with Chelsea for her last visit. The group of girls seemed to be constantly chatting and gossiping whenever they were in the same room. The only female who didn't seem to include herself in the group was Kate; Tracey, along with Gary, had noticed that she spent a lot of time hanging out and talking with Shawn. Whenever she wasn't doing that, she would stick close to Gary or, much to Tracey's surprise, join in with Andrew and Jon when they hung out with Gary. Now that Ash was back in town, she seemed torn between staying at the Oak house with everyone and hanging out with her old friend. The guys either hung out all together or split into two groups that Gary seemed to switch back and forth between constantly; Tim, David, and Logan made up one group while Jon, Andrew, and Damien made up the other. Tracey found himself most often with either the group of girls or with Andrew and Jon, sometimes going down the lab to help out Professor Oak, Monica, and Alex where Shawn and Damien would sometimes join him.

Anna seemed to split her time equally between the group of girls and the group of guys while only occasionally slipping off with Gary for an hour or two of alone time. Tracey was surprised to see that they rarely snuck off to a bedroom, often heading outside and sitting under a large tree in the backyard where they would talk and occasionally spend a few minutes kissing sweetly. He sensed that something had changed between the two – there seemed to be a tenderness to the relationship that wasn't there before Gary's birthday, beyond that, it seemed as though the two had reached some sort of understanding that Tracey couldn't quit put his finger on.

Currently, Tracey was resting his forearms on the porch railing, his sketchbook laying open to his latest drawing of Charlotte's umbreon and espeon, Luna and Eva, playing in the sun with Tim's umbreon Apollo, and Gary's umbreon. He admired the way Eva's pale coat contrasted so sharply with the black fur of the other three creatures as they rolled, pounced, and chased each other in front of the porch while he pushed his pencil into the spiral binding of the sketch book. His eyes drifted across the sprawling yard, coming to a rest on the large maple tree and the two teens sitting under it. Gary was sitting against the trunk of the tree with Anna sitting on her knees between his legs, they had been talking the whole time that Tracey had been outside. He watched in an almost-detached manner as Anna leaned forward, seeming to tease Gary while he smirked at her before pushing Anna backwards suddenly to lean over her as she lay on her back on the grass. Sensing a kiss coming, Tracey turned his attention back to the pokemon; Anna's shriek of laughter forced him to glance back up to see the two teens rolling in the grass and laughing while Gary tickled Anna. He groaned and dropped his head onto his folded forearms as their laughter turned to kisses.

"You still like him, don't you?"

"Hey, Andrew." Tracey muttered, not raising his head.

Andrew leaned against the railing next to him, picking up the sketchbook to examine the sketch of the four pokemon playing in the grass. "This is pretty good. You said you were a watcher before becoming the lab assistant here, right?" Tracey nodded, still not raising his head. "Does anything from pokemon watching transfer over to people watching?"

"Unfortunately."

"Dare I ask what you see when you watch Gary and Anna together?" Andrew asked surprisingly gently.

Tracey sighed and finally raised his head to meet Andrew's eyes. "I see something that I wish didn't exist…" His voice trailed off as he thought about what he had just said, watching the couple under the tree made him feel ashamed for his harsh words. "I know I sound selfish but – "

"You don't have to say it," Andrew interrupted, as though he had read Tracey's mind. "I know how you feel. They _do _make a good couple though, that's not something we can change, though it doesn't make it suck any less."

"You like him too." Tracey said, a statement rather than a question.

Andrew sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "I wouldn't quite say that." He said slowly, frowning as he watched Gary's hands slide under Anna's shirt as their kisses continued to deepen. "We have a connection that I doubt you would understand, I mean, I know we're best friends, that's obvious enough. Then there's the sex stuff, a lot of it was a joke between us but it takes a certain level of trust for someone like Gary to do that with another guy. The whole cutting thing… I don't know how to say it exactly… When you meet someone that has that same problem, you form a bond with them because you know they can understand what you're going through, or the other way around... I feel so bad about it all though, Gary's problem with cutting is much worse than mine was; I hurt myself in other ways than that and once I got over those addictions I was able to stop cutting fairly easily. Now I hardly ever feel like I have to hurt myself but with Gary it's gone so far that it's going to be hell for him to quit and he's so secretive that he won't talk to anyone about it, I'm amazed he told Ash so easily at the party… I'm a little worried about what will happen when I leave though."

"What do you mean?" Tracey asked softly.

Andrew sighed heavily once more. "What I mean is, this isn't the first time Gary's tried to quit; he's tried at least three times since I've known him and none of them succeeded – the first time was back in our second semester when Alex found out about it and that only lasted maybe a month before he started missing Anna too much to not do it, then he did it again in April and lasted until the middle of June. That time was bad though, somewhere around twenty cuts, Gary said, some of them were in the same spot over a few times – apparently it was the only time he ever passed out from blood loss, so you know it had to have been really bad. After that he swore, he fucking _swore_, he wouldn't do it again…"

"Then he tried to kill himself?" Tracey prompted as Andrew's voice faltered.

"That afternoon he cut himself pretty badly but we all just kind of figured it was the normal thing for Gary and that he would fine and then that night… I should have known what he was going to do – I tried it _three_ times, I _should_ have known. It was pure luck that I had to go to the bathroom when I did, if not-"

"Andrew, I doubt there's anything you could've done at the time. It's past, there's nothing you can do about it now." Tracey assured him.

"I know that." Andrew said softly, looking at the ground as he crossed his arms tightly across his chest. "But still, out of all of us, I should have been the one to notice that something was wrong."

"You did though – Gary said himself that you probably saved his life."

"I guess, but I still don't feel any better about it." Andrew paused briefly, looking up to see Gary help Anna off of the ground. "Gary's really lucky to have Anna though, I wish I had someone like that. Still, if they break up…"

Tracey watched the two teens cross the yard towards the porch, holding hands and talking softly, before turning his attention back to Andrew with a slight frown on his face. "I don't think they would, Andrew; look at them, they're great together and they're best friends. What could possibly go wrong?"

Andrew scowled slightly, his eyes downcast. "That's what I thought about my parents too."

Tracey didn't know how to respond to this or how to soothe Andrew's worries about his friend. It was incredibly uncharacteristic of Andrew to be so pensive and worried but to see him like this came almost as a relief to Tracey. As much as he wanted to see Andrew return to the hyper, talkative, carefree teenager he usually was, Tracey was relieved to see that there was a serious and caring side to him.

"Hey, guys. You weren't spying on us now, were you?" Anna asked as she climbed up the porch steps a moment later.

Andrew grinned, a smile that Tracey could see was at least partially forced. "Nah, Trace and I were just talking about how jealous we are of you two lovebirds." His words were mild, though there a slightly clipped edge to his voice that didn't escape Gary's notice.

Gary frowned slightly, sensing that something was bothering Andrew and possibly Tracey as well. Anna laughed and tossed the boys a mischievous smile. "Well, maybe you two should hook up, and then you won't have to be so jealous of us." She said slyly before looking up at Gary with a grin. "Come on, let's go inside and let these two go at it."

Anna tossed her hair over her shoulder and walked across the porch to the open kitchen door. Gary hesitated for a moment, torn between staying with his two friends and going upstairs with his girlfriend. He sighed softly and gave Andrew a look that clearly said "we'll talk about this later" before he followed Anna into the house.

--- --- ---

"It's D minor."

"Harmonic minor."

"Wait – are you sure, it sounds more like it does this…" Logan played something on the guitar and Tracey looked up when Andrew snickered.

"That would be harmonic minor."

"No it's not, it's melodic minor – hear the chromatically raised seventh degree, both ascending and descending." The mocking grin slid off of Andrew's face at Anna's sudden words that cut off the argument. Tracey saw Gary look up from his conversation with Damien, Shawn, and Jon with a surprised expression.

They were in the music room of course; Andrew and Tracey were sitting on the couch, they had been talking until Logan, David, and Charlotte began debating the key of a random song. Andrew had switched his attention to the argument with an amused smirk, as though he knew what the other's hadn't, Tracey had noticed a similar smirk on Tim's face as he leaned against the wall near the group. Gary was across the room from Tracey, sitting in one of the armchairs with his long legs draped over the side of it and his arms crossed casually; he looked utterly comfortable and slightly arrogant as, Tracey had noticed, was the norm for him around most of his friends. Jon and Shawn both were sprawled out on the loveseat while Damien was perched in the chair opposite Gary. Chelsea was downstairs with May, Bella, and Michelle, who had both come over after work and Kate was apparently at Ash's house.

The atmosphere in the room was fairly calm and comfortable and Tracey was happy when Andrew turned his attention back to him with a small amused smile. "Looks like Anna's a good girl for Gary." He said cheerfully. "Gary teach her?"

"Not that I know of… Anna's sister studies music, she might have learned from her but I don't know." Tracey replied.

Andrew nodded and appeared thoughtful for a minute before speaking again. "Has Anna talked to her sister at all since Halloween?"

Tracey hesitated before answering. He didn't know exactly was going on between Anna and Rachael, all he knew was that there had been some huge fight between them at the beginning of November. He wasn't sure how to answer Andrew's question but settled on the truth. "All I know is that Anna went over to her house a few days after you guys left and they got in a huge fight." At Andrew's questioning look, he continued with a small sigh. "I don't know what happened so don't ask; Gary doesn't even know the details. May and Kate were both there and the fight was bad enough that Kate's refused to so much as talk to Rachael since then. Anna moved in the next day and I don't think they've spoken since."

Andrew gave a low whistle and leaned back against the cushions of the couch. "Damn. It must've been pretty bad if May didn't tell Gary the details, she seems like a really honest person." Tracey nodded in response, there wasn't anything else to say about the situation between Anna and Rachael. "I really feel for her, man. I know how much that situation sucks, it's probably harder for chicks though, you know how they're so… well, never mind. Is Rachael younger than Anna?"

"They're twins."

"Oh, fuck. That must make it even worse. Gives me more respect for the girl though, having such a good attitude when all this shit is going on with her sister." Andrew ran a hand through his hair, looking as though he were deep in thought as he examined a lock of his hair. He sighed and tossed his hair over his shoulder. "Split ends again… God, that sounded gay."

Tracey laughed at that. "Noticing split ends makes you gay but kissing and having sex with guys doesn't?"

"Pretty pitiful, isn't it?" Andrew laughed, his mood seeming to lighten considerably before he turned serious a moment later. "I'm not really gay… well, I guess that's questionable. Either way, I've dated girls, I've had sex with guys, and none of my relationships lasted long. It's kind of funny actually: all of my recent relationships ended because of Gary." He paused with a slightly-wistful, humored, and sad smile that Tracey found to be hard to read.

Tracey laughed softly, perking up slightly at Gary's name, sensing an interesting story coming on. "Oh? Do tell – what did the little hussy do?"

Andrew laughed a loud and genuine laugh this time, caught off guard by Tracey's interest. "You just want to gossip now." He replied, still chuckling with a sly smile.

"Well, that's what happens when you spend most of your social time with a group of teenage girls."

Andrew scoffed playfully. "Bullshit, that's what happens when you spend too much time in a laboratory: you get so desperate for socialization that you throw yourself into conversations about other people because you're so sick of science talk and because you know you truly have no life to talk about." He raised an eyebrow mockingly but his smile was friendly.

Tracey laughed again, feeling incredibly comfortable sitting on the couch alone with Andrew as they talked and joked with each other as though they were good friends. That was one thing Tracey had noticed about the blonde boy: he was comfortable enough with himself that he could go to anyone and speak with them easily about almost anything and he was polite enough to listen to anything anyone said.

"Maybe I'm just a gossip."

"Maybe you're just gay."

"Well, if you ever question my sexuality, all you have to do is remember that I like gossiping and you'll have your answer." Tracey replied cheerfully.

"Or I could just… do this," Andrew slid an arm around Tracey's waist as he spoke, pulling him against his chest while he grasped a handful of hair loosely in his other hand. Tracey could feel his heart speed up as he watched Andrew lean in.

The kiss felt natural and contrasted so deeply with other kisses Tracey had experienced with other guys. It was kisses like these that made Tracey wish that they were alone someplace where they couldn't be interrupted at all. A small shudder went through him as Andrew's lips caressed his own and their tongues curled together languidly.

"Hey, Andrew, get a room! You're worse than Gary!"

Andrew laughed throatily against Tracey's lips and Tracey dimly heard Gary's argumentative response to Jon's joke. He barely had a chance to realize the mischievous gleam in Andrew's eyes before Andrew leaned forward to close the space between them once more and kissed him more fervently than he just had. Tracey knew he was just playing around with this kiss, purposely making a show out of it just for the reaction from the other people in the room. Despite this fact, Tracey had to fight down a grin as he allowed Andrew's tongue to eagerly explore his mouth once more while one hand slid down Andrew's back to his thigh where it grasped his leg tightly, causing a sudden gasp as Andrew pressed his body against Tracey's. The hand on Tracey's waist slowly made its way up and down his side and Tracey couldn't help but groan into the kiss while his own hands wandered over Andrew's body.

"Ok, you two, you've made your point." Damien's flat voice called across the room to them. "You can stop now, before you give Gary and Anna any ideas."

Andrew pulled away a brief moment later, his pale cheeks slightly flushed and brown eyes dark with desire as he stared down at Tracey. Tracey was acutely aware of his pounding heart as he met Andrew's gaze, his skin felt as though it were burning where Andrew's hand rested on his hip, the other hand moved from the nape of his neck as Andrew rested his arm on the back of the couch and Tracey was mildly saddened by the lack of contact.

Andrew looked thoughtful. "You know," he began slowly. "I think I liked that more than most of the kisses I've had with any chick I've been with. You definitely rival Gary with kissing skills, maybe we should pierce that tongue of yours – then you'd be better than him."

A small smile tugged at Tracey's lips. "I don't know, I've heard about your experience with a tongue ring, I think I'd rather not put more holes in my body than are necessary."

If Andrew had a smart comment to make in response to Tracey's words, he didn't say it, opting to chuckle softly. "See now, that was entirely Jon's fault. He didn't pierce it properly to begin with, but then again I never took care of it. Gary's a neurotic little brat –"

"I heard that!"

"So, what do you want, a be-able-to-hear-things award? Go fuck yourself – so he kept his piercings clean like a good little boy and never got any infections." He shot Tracey a playful smile before continuing. "Don't worry though, I won't force you to get your tongue pierced like I did with Gary. You're not my little bitch like he is so I can't do any forcing."

"Funny, Andrew, I could've sworn you were Gary's bitch." Charlotte said with a grin, turning her attention away from her conversation with Anna for a moment.

"Only pussies can be bitches."

"Which proves Charlotte's point." Gary shot at Andrew with a small smirk.

"And explains why Gary's _my _bitch."

"And that would technically make me your bitch by default, Anna, I think I'm starting to like where this is going – _especially_ if you wear that Halloween outfit again…"

Tracey leaned towards Andrew as he joked with Anna. "But I thought you were gay." He whispered in Andrew's ear, grinning as the blonde boy turned back to him.

"I don't know you guys, it looks like Andrew might already be taken." Gary said slyly, smirking smugly as he watched Tracey and Andrew resume talking softly.

"I never said I was _actually_ gay… Though I think I may be leaning slightly in that direction now; want to try convincing me which way to go?"

"I think I could arrange that." Tracey answered softly, grasping Andrew's chin lightly and pressing their lips together in another zealous kiss.

They pulled away a moment later and Andrew looked slightly dazed as he licked his lips. "Well, I'm definitely leaning towards gay now," He began in a low voice, "but I won't know until I've had a boyfriend. Think you might be interested sometime soon, maybe after I move to Pallet?"

Tracey grinned, an incredibly light feeling coming over him at Andrew's words. "I think I might be… Though if you're leaning towards being gay, that must mean you also like talking about other people because you have no life to speak about – so tell me, what did Gary do to mess up your relationships with your girlfriends?"

Andrew laughed when Tracey referred to what he had said earlier about gossips and began telling him his stories from Sinnoh.

--- --- ---

Gary sighed softly as he laid back against the pillows on his bed, staring at the ceiling as he listened to the Symphony X song playing on his laptop that was sitting on his desk. It was Tuesday morning and, despite knowing that four more of his friends would be leaving in a few hours, he was alone in his room. He had come upstairs from the den to lay down and attempt to relieve himself of the headache that had been steadily building since the afternoon before. He groaned after a few moments, the battling keyboards and guitars of the song did little to help his migraine. He wasn't entirely sure why he had this headache now of all times, he seemed to only get them under stress and he wasn't under any particular amount of stress at that moment. Granted, he was growing sick of hearing so many people insinuate that he and Anna would one day be in the same position as Charlotte and Tim or Alex and Monica, and the thought of the research project looming ahead was rather daunting, but he wasn't stressed over it.

Closing his eyes, he let his thoughts drift to the night before. Andrew and Tracey had talked nonstop in the music room, Andrew telling him countless stories from Sinnoh and Tracey telling Andrew stories of his own from the time he had spent in Pallet. Gary had felt a small twinge of jealousy as he watched them chatter on and on, he simply wanted to hang out with Andrew. He missed the times when they would lay on his bed late at night and talk about anything, the times when they would go to the pizza parlor down the road from the school after long days of classes and down an entire extra large pizza between the two of them as they discussed things from their classes, the times when it was just the two of them and he could let himself simply be a normal teenager. Still, he was happy for those two, especially after the conversation he'd had with Andrew on Friday. His thoughts wandered from Andrew to Anna…

The thoughts turned to memories which, in turn, slowly turned into dreams as Gary let himself drift into sleep as a slower song with pretty piano came on. At first the dreams were vivid memories of fun times over many years, viewed as though from the perspective of an outsider, but they soon changed to images that left him terrified despite their seemingly innocent and blissful appearance.

--- --- ---

"_Where are we going?" The eleven-year-old asked as Anna led him down the quiet hall of the Vermillion City hotel._

"_Shh! You don't want to get caught, do you?" The young teenager asked, running ahead of her friend with a small giggle, her ripped jeans sliding over her thin legs and her baggy Nine Inch Nails shirt slipping over one shoulder to reveal a purple bra strap. Gary ran to catch up as they raced to the elevator, admiring the way her long hair bounced against her back. Her hair had been nearly waist length even back then; it was still her natural strawberry blonde, lightened by sunshine and highlighted with brilliant pink dye._

_Laughing, Anna reached the elevator before him and slammed her hand against the button and waited for the lift to arrive as Gary reached her. "You want me to be quiet, what about you?" He asked, shaking his bangs out of his eyes, his hair was messier than usual since Anna had woken him up and told him to get dressed only moments before._

_Down the hall, a door opened and May stepped into the hall._

"_Shit!" Anna squealed, grabbing Gary's wrist and dragging him towards the stairwell near them. Fighting back laughter, they rushed down the stairs, checking over their shoulders for May and trying not to fall on the steps._

_They reached the first floor, breathless and still laughing as they stood in the stairwell. Suddenly Anna leaned over and kissed Gary on the cheek, grinning and giggling as he blushed._

"_Gary!"_

_Gary cursed, hearing his sister's voice and footsteps dangerously close on the stairs; grabbing Anna's hand, they ran through the lobby, heading towards the back door and the pool area beyond. They slowed down once they were outside on the large pool deck; panting for breath, they stopped in the shadows near the outdoor showers. Anna began giggling, trying to stifle the noise as they heard the door open and May call their names. Regaining his composure, Gary stepped closer to Anna and quickly returned her kiss on the cheek. Anna giggled louder and grabbed his hand once more, running across the pool deck next to the pool towards another door to escape May. Halfway along the length of the pool, Gary was struck by an idea and stopped running suddenly, throwing Anna slightly off balance as she was still grasping his hand. Slipping his hand out of her grasp, Gary pushed her, laughing as she shrieked and fell into the water. Hearing May scold him as she walked swiftly across the deck to him, Gary simply laughed even as Anna hauled herself out of the pool after splashing him with a considerable amount of water. _

_Gary barely heard May threatening to tell their grandfather as he and Anna followed her back to the room. He was distracted as Anna pulled the large shirt over her head and wrung the water out of it while smiling at Gary. Even dreaming, he dimly noticed how different she looked back then, with those small cotton triangles clinging to her barely-present curves. That purple bra with the tiny cubones on it contrasted so greatly with the lacy ones she wore now..._

_--- --- ---_

"_Gary! Wait up!" Anna called, tearing after her friend through the woods surrounding the Indigo Plateau, hearing the sound of twigs snapping and leaves crunching underfoot while following the sound of his laughter._

_He had just won his first match of the competition earlier that day and it was nearing dusk as the two children ran through the woods, energetic and still excited from the match. Gary paused, catching his breath as he listened for Anna, knowing she was nearby. Suddenly someone leapt at him, sending them both tumbling the ground as they laughed. His laughter died abruptly as he realized Anna had landed on top of him, knees on either side of his waist so that the fourteen-year-old straddled him._

_As if she had realized the same thing at the same instant, Anna's laughter died in her throat as well, though her smile remained while Gary's expression had turned to shock. Impulsively, she lowered her head and pressed her lips against his. Stunned, Gary froze, unable to respond until Anna pulled back with a shy smile that had always seemed to fill him with some sort of indescribable warmth. After a few seconds of shocked silence, Gary felt his lips curve into a grin that he couldn't get rid of no matter how hard he tried. Anna laughed and stood, tossing her blue hair that was now highlighted with teal streaks over her shoulders and holding out her hands to help him to his feet. _

_Back then the hands had felt warm in his own as she helped him up and brushed maple leaves off of his shirt, but he remembered how hot her hands felt as they often slid across his back or between his legs… or how they had trembled horribly as she held towels to his bleeding wrists a mere week later…_

_--- --- ---_

_Gary sat on the floor of Anna's bedroom, watching her fingers slide across the fretboard of her beat up blue Stratocaster in the rhythm of a song that was now familiar to him though he didn't know it back then. He had just turned thirteen and was home on a short visit from Johto – he had only been in the foreign region two months after spending six months in Pallet to recover from his loss in the Indigo League and he had already earned three gym badges while his eevee had evolved into an umbreon._

_Anna would be turning fifteen in several months and she looked drastically different from the time Gary had last seen her before leaving for the Johto region without telling anyone other than his grandfather. Anna was far paler than he had ever seen her and much thinner, her hair fell past her waist and was mostly black but had highlights of orange in it; the effect would've been cool if her hair wasn't currently tied back in two long braids. She wore a torn black skirt and, with the way she was sitting cross-legged across from Gary, he could clearly see scars and still-healing wounds. He felt terrible seeing them; there were so many cuts… _

"_What are you playing?" He asked after a moment of watching her right hand swiftly pick the strings._

"_It's a band called Children of Bodom… I'll let you borrow my cds later, they have a lot of neat keyboard things that you could play on piano."_

_Gary watched her play for several more minutes, his eyes following her fingers as they moved along the neck of her instrument. "Show me how to play it." He said after a few minutes._

_Anna looked up at him suddenly, startled by his sudden interest. "It's not easy Gary, you've never played guitar before."_

"_You showed me how to play that Black Sabbath song back in August." He argued, narrowing his eyes slightly, annoyed that she thought he was incapable of doing something._

_Anna agreed after a few moments of arguing, mostly to make her friend shut up but partially to embarrass him when he messed up to get back at him for leaving her behind when he had left in late September. She handed him the guitar and was slightly surprised to see that he matched her hand positions exactly. Over an hour of constant attempts later, Gary surprised her even more by playing it perfectly. She had felt jealousy rise in her as her younger friend played, she had been playing for a year while Gary had only played once or twice before… then again, Gary had been playing piano since he was four and cello since he was seven; it shouldn't have surprised her so much._

_She turned away from him as he continued playing. Frowning at her sudden lack of interest, Gary asked her what was wrong. She ignored the question, instead walking to her window and picking angrily at the black curtains as she glared at the bare trees in the backyard under the stormy gray sky. After several minutes of Anna ignoring him, Gary stood up, gently placed the guitar on the messy bed, and crossed the room to her, carefully avoiding stepping on anything he could break. _

"_I'm sorry for whatever I did," he said softly. _

_Anna continued to ignore him until he suddenly leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers; the first time _he_ had ever kissed _her_ lips, not the other way around. She surprised him by kissing him back rough enough to take his breath away while her fingers slid through his spikey hair. He pulled back after the kiss, a small smile tugging on his lips before he kissed her again, hesitantly running his tongue along her lower lip. Her lips parted and his tongue slipped in; they pulled apart a few seconds later and Gary laughed softly._

"_That was… weird," he said, still laughing._

_Anna smiled at him. "Not bad for your first time – I think you could use some lessons though," she said with a small smirk and a wink._

_Her lips had been so soft against his own while they kissed that afternoon, her hands steady on the back of his neck while his trembled slightly at her waist; his heart pounding the entire time. Even now, so many years and so many kisses later, his heart rate still spiked whenever they kissed._

_--- --- ---_

"_Are you ok?" Anna asked softly. They were sitting on the bed in Anna and Michelle's hotel room after his final match in the Silver Conference. He had lost but he didn't feel the overwhelming numbness that he'd felt after his loss in the Indigo League. _

_Gary smiled at her. "I'm fine. This isn't like last time." He assured her, squeezing her hand briefly before dropping it as May came in the room._

"_We're going out to dinner with Grandpa, do you two want to come?" She asked, eyeing her younger brother with concern._

_Anna said that she wasn't hungry and, despite wanting to spend time with his sister and other friends, Gary had a feeling that she wanted him to stay with her. After spending several minutes assuring May that he was fine and just wasn't hungry, May left them alone in the room. The two teenagers stared at each other for a moment as May's footsteps echoed down the hallway._

_Gary made the first move; his lips pressing against hers, tongue slipping into her mouth just as had happened a little over a year ago, except these kisses were different. There was a different feel to them; they were more frenzied, more forceful than last time. The feel of Anna's hands slipping under his shirt and ghosting over his stomach caused him to gasp loudly, her hands traveled across his skin and caused him to groan. He had enough sense to wonder if they should be doing this; after all, he had only turned fourteen two months prior and Anna was still only fifteen. He pulled back as Anna started to tug his shirt up, feeling suddenly terrified. Anna smiled gently as she pulled the shirt over his head, tossed it to the floor, and took his hands; she glanced down at his arms and did a double-take before lowering her head and pressing ghost-like kisses to each scar on his right arm as well as the scar on his left wrist. _

_Raising her head to kiss Gary's lips once more, Anna guided his hands the ties of her cut-up Dimmu Borgir shirt. After several frustrating minutes of inexpert fumbling, Gary finally tossed the black fabric to the floor and gazed at Anna. Her pale skin mesmerized him as he forced his eyes away from the plain black bra to meet her eyes as she once more guided his hands to her back and helped him unclasp the garment._

_The details of the memory were so vivid that Gary could nearly feel his hands shaking and his heart pounding in his sleep. He had been nearly petrified as Anna guided his hands along her naked skin, as his hands slid through her platinum hair that was now streaked liberally with blue and pink, as she had laid back on the bed and guided him into her for the first time. Once spent, Anna had pulled him down to her, kissing his lips gently as he stared wide-eyed at her. _

_His shock wore off quickly and, after dressing, they spent hours sitting on the same bed, talking about the past months and the ones that the future held. Anna had listened attentively as he told her something that had weighed heavily on his mind for the past several months, making it difficult for him to concentrate on training, something the lost battle helped him accept and come to terms with: training wasn't for him and he was done with it._

_Anna listened to his dreams and encouraged him; something she still did and a favor he knew he would always return to her until the end of days._

_--- --- ---_

The dreams flowed through more memories as Gary slept fitfully. It was almost as though he could feel his headache worsening as his unconscious mind led him through his most treasured memories of Anna. It seemed as though there was a memory for every year since he was eleven and in every one of them Anna's hair was different colors, her clothes becoming more revealing, and their relationship deepening while he himself seemed to remain the same, despite his hair changing in length and more scars appearing on his arms.

Then, after memories of the time they'd spent together after playing soccer with Tracey and the time they'd spent on the beach mere days ago, the dream changed from sheer memories to a true dream.

Images of himself and Anna swirled in his head and in them his arms had no scars, Anna's hair was her natural pale reddish blonde. The images jumbled together, giving him fleeting glimpses of tender kisses, affectionate lovemaking, a diamond ring sliding onto Anna's finger while a shy smile made its way across his lips, joyful laughter, amorous hugging, sweet whispers, Anna standing before him in a white dress as he drew closer to her for a kiss. Their lips met and he bolted upright in his bed, breath coming in sharp gasps as he shoved his hair out of his face, his shaking hand wiping cold sweat from his face.

"Holy shit!" He gasped, eyes wide and throat dry as he panted, trying to make sense of the dream. "What the fuck?" He vaguely realized that the Symphony X album he had been listening to when he fell asleep had ended and his stereo had automatically rotated an After Forever cd into its place; he had been asleep for nearly an hour.

Gary sat on the bed, noticing how tangled the covers had become and realizing how fitful his sleep must have been as his heart slowly stopped pounding and his breathing gradually returned to normal. His head was pounding and, even after he had calmed down, he felt slightly panicked. He jerked the curtains facing the windows closed around his bed, blocking out the bright sunlight from the early afternoon.

The more he thought about the dream, the more unnerved he was. Did he love her? He had mouthed the words against her cheek on Friday but he figured that was merely in the heat of the moment. He couldn't possibly… "It's impossible; it hasn't even been two months…" He whispered, his voice barely carrying to his ears.

A soft knock sounded as he closed his eyes and leaned against the pillows. "What?" He irritably called, annoyed that anyone had the nerve to bother him at the moment.

There was a slight pause. "May I come in?"

Gary groaned, it was his grandfather. "Yeah, just… yeah, come in."

He sat up, rubbing his temples as the bedroom door opened and Professor Oak entered the room, quietly closing the door behind him as he walked towards the bed. "Are you feeling any better?" He asked softly, watching Gary groan and flop back against the pillows once more.

"No, I feel worse," Gary snapped, wincing slightly as his head throbbed.

"Are you alright? You're very pale right now, Gary."

Gary was tempted to lie and tell his grandfather that everything was fine, tempted to seek the relief he knew a blade could bring him. But he knew he couldn't do that; he owed it to several people to try and wrap his mind around this dream and talk to someone to get rid of this anxiety. Instead, he closed his eyes and tried to calm the overwhelming feeling rising in him and quell the longing ache he felt in his arms. "I had a really fucked up dream a few minutes ago," he finally admitted quietly.

The professor frowned at the admission, knowing his grandson never cursed around him. "What was so strange about it?" He asked reasonably.

Gary shook his head, not wanting to go into the details about it. "Anna was in it… and her hair wasn't dyed – "

"I can see how that would be strange," his grandfather joked lightly, his gentle smiled fading slightly as Gary glared at him. "I was only kidding. What else happened in this dream to have you so stressed out?"

"We got married." Gary replied flatly.

"That's it?"

"What do you mean 'that's it'?" Gary snapped irritably.

"Calm down, Gary. What I mean is, was there something else that happened?"

Gary sighed softly, pulling his hair back with the hair tie around his wrist. "No. It was just a bunch of things I remember happening between us and then that."

Professor Oak looked thoughtful as he mulled over Gary's words. "Were they any particular things or just random things?"

Gary thought about it for a moment. The first times they had kissed, the first time they'd had sex, the time Anna told him that she loved him… "They were pretty big memories," he muttered, wanting to avoid the topic of the memories.

"Well, Anna is very special to you, anyone can see that. You know dreams are caused by our brains processing things that – "

"I know that."

Professor Oak frowned at him; Gary hadn't been this curt in conversation with him in months. "Do you want to talk about something else?" He asked after a pause, Gary nodded. "I'll say one more thing and then we can change subjects. I know Anna is nothing at all like my vision of an ideal girl for you was, but I think she is the girl for you, Gary. She may be a high school dropout but she must be intelligent to keep you around for so long; she may not be the most successful person but she managed to earn your trust when no one else did, she's made it through her own troubles and before that she was the only thing that made you happy after your parents died. Anna's a very nice girl and she obviously cares a lot for you; she has my stamp of approval, so to speak. If you love her, like your dream implies, then accept it and act on it when you're ready to but don't try to diminish your feelings for her because of anything other people think of you two."

Gary nodded slightly, grateful for the words but barely hearing them as he stared at the comforter without really seeing it. The ache in his arms was growing stronger and it scared him slightly; he didn't want this to be a repeat of the other times he had tried to stop cutting himself.

"Do you remember me saying that I had something important to talk to you about on Friday?" A tiny nod in response and he frowned again. First Gary had been curt and now he was growing more and more distant; what was going on? "Alex told me about the talk you to had earlier that day and –" He stopped abruptly as something caught his attention when Gary reached up to pull the tie from his hair; the sleeve of his shirt had fallen away from his wrist and revealed a scar he hadn't noticed. "Gary?" He wasn't sure what to say as he took his grandson's wrist and examined the thick scar along his wrist.

"It's not as bad as it looks," Gary assured him flatly. "It's just been redone a lot of times, that's all."

"This wasn't a –"

"You know about the only suicide attempt." An awkward silence fell between them as Professor Oak held Gary's outstretched arm in his hand, the sleeve pulled back just enough to see the oldest scar.

The professor cleared his throat after a moment, eager to break the silence. "You told me about it, but you never actually showed me…" He touched the sleeve as though to pull it back further but met Gary's eyes before going any farther. "May I?"

Gary nodded despite himself, feeling vaguely nauseous as he felt rather than saw the sleeve slide up his arm to his elbow. He stared at the comforter, relieved that his grandfather had chosen to see the right arm – he hadn't cut that arm in over two years, the last time being when homesickness had overwhelmed him more than halfway through his many months of research at Sayda Island. A few of the scars had faded entirely, though Gary could almost see their ghosts against the pale flesh. The scars had all faded somewhat, though the scar on his wrist had been retraced many times and he wondered if it would ever fade. His left arm, however, was a different story entirely.

"These scars look fairly old. You said you've been doing it for years?" Gary nodded weakly, the pain in his other arm growing stronger. A finger traced over his wrist, slowly rubbing the scar in a way that seemed to soothe the burning ache somewhat. "When did you first do this?"

Gary closed his eyes, his throat felt so dry. "Indigo League." Was all he could say, his voice far quieter than usual.

With his eyes closed, Gary couldn't see the dawning realization evident on his grandfather's face. "When Anna said that you were sick, she was covering for you. She was the first one who knew about it?" Gary nodded again, not opening his eyes. "Did May know about it?"

Gary forced himself to speak once more, voice weak enough to make him feel ill with disappointment. "She found out after the Silver Conference… She walked in on me getting dressed and saw the bandage and… figured it out from there."

Professor Oak took in his words slowly, Alex had told him back in October that he had known about Gary's cutting since his second semester in school and had agreed not to tell anyone as long as Gary promised not hide it from him. He was confused though, Gary had cut himself in the time that he had been home – Gary had told him this, as had May, though neither sibling had given any details – yet, these scars were old. Too old to be from the time he had been home, possibly too old to be from when he was at school. He reached for Gary's other arm, surprised when he pulled away and stood up.

Gary crossed the room to the window, fingers trailing along the strings of the cello and the edge of the piano as he passed the instruments. The sun was bright and it was still early afternoon, from his position he could see Ash and Kate walking around outside with Michelle and May, Tim's eevee Lexi was playing with Kate's eevee Shadow while Charlotte's houndoom Chip watched from the porch. On the porch were Charlotte and Tim with Anna, Chelsea, Tracey, Logan, and David. Andrew was nowhere to be seen and Gary wondered if he had gone out someplace with Damien and the other two boys… either way, Gary knew he had detached himself from his friends and was now missing out on their company. He sighed softly, leaning against the wall next to the window and toying with the edge of his sleeve. His grandfather remained sitting on the edge of the bed, watching Gary while he stayed silent. A few moments passed and Gary finally forced himself away from the window to sit at the piano, fingers slowly tracing the melody of Lacrimosa nearly unconsciously. He was surprised to hear his grandfather's voice speak.

"May said you tend to play that song whenever you're upset."

"You recognized it?" Gary asked, fingers dropping from the keys.

He heard his grandfather slowly walk over to him. "It was your father's favorite Mozart song, he always played it on the cello. I remember he was so happy when you started playing piano, he'd be thrilled to see you now – four keyboards plus two pianos between your two rooms… not to mention your expansive guitar collection – I believe you've surpassed the ten guitar limit that I gave you a year ago?"

Gary couldn't help but smile slightly. "Eight guitars, four basses. You never specified which type of guitar had that limit so technically I'm still safe." His hands moved back to the piano, playing along with the song that was on the stereo.

"Why am I not surprised? You always seem to find loopholes… Was May correct when she said you play Mozart's Requiem when you're upset?" The question was too gentle for Gary to ignore.

Once more his hands dropped from the piano. "Yes."

"What's bothering you? I told you Alex told me about your conversation with him, that's actually what I came to talk to you about; is that what's got you upset?"

Gary slowly turned on the piano bench so that he was facing his grandfather. "That's part of it," he said slowly. "Another part of it is everything with Anna, it seems like everyone just keeps putting all this pressure on us to… fall in love and… get married or whatever."

"Everyone?"

"Well, Alex backed off and so did May, Andrew and Tracey… actually haven't said anything about it to me. I don't know, it just feels like there's a lot of pressure."

"Maybe the pressure isn't on the relationship itself."

"What are you talking about?"

"What I'm talking about, Gary, is that you have a lot of pressure on _you_ right now, and a large part of that pressure is something that you're putting on yourself – let me finish before arguing. Do you have to be so stubborn _all_ the time?" Gary fell silent and Professor Oak continued with a sigh. "Look, I'm not saying there's _no_ pressure on your relationship with Anna; there's pressure on all relationships, no matter how good they are. I'm saying that a lot of the pressure on the relationship is because you're afraid of the change, you two have been best friends for so long, I can understand it. The thing is, you two have acted like a couple whenever you've been together for years; for awhile even _May_ thought you two were dating and not telling anyone and May knows you better than most people – think about that for a minute."

"It's only been two months!" Gary exclaimed in frustration. Why was it no one other than him seemed to grasp this concept?

"A month and a half, if I recall correctly. But is that entirely true? You two are inseparable and you have been for a long time, stop thinking about it as if your relationship started from scratch on Halloween. You've been best friends for _nine years_ and you've known each other for longer, you two aren't strangers that have been randomly thrown together in a relationship. I'll stop talking about it because I can see you don't want to talk about it right now; it's up to you."

Gary sighed heavily; he knew that his grandfather was right, he just didn't want to admit it. May had become friends with Anna when both girls were seven and Gary was only five; what was ironic was the fact that he'd had a crush on Rachael back then because she could play piano and had just started to learn violin. His crush had turned to Anna fairly soon though, as soon as he met her, in fact – Anna was much more funny than Rachael, he had realized even as a five-year-old, not to mention her hair was much longer than Rachael's, something he had liked even before he entirely understood what it was like to _like_ a girl. Then, when Gary was seven, he got to skip part of second grade and ended up in a third grade class with Anna and Michelle because Anna was held back in third grade. Michelle had sat between Gary and Anna and always ended up getting in trouble because the two children on either side of her would quickly grow bored and would misbehave nonstop. Gary's parents had taken him out of the public elementary school soon after so that he could be homeschooled by his parents, Alex, and his grandfather – then tragedy struck and Gary didn't socialize at all for nearly two years until Anna suddenly lost her father. They had sensed each other's misery and formed a friendship off of it. It was Anna's perpetual energy that had forced Gary to become social once more, Anna's dark humor that had forced him to laugh and smile once more, Anna's curious nature that had sent them exploring and running through the woods – which had led to his grandfather giving him a certain pocket knife that led him to where he was now: scarred and longing for a blade that he knew he couldn't let himself seek. His grandfather's voice shook him out of his thoughts.

"I think the rest of this pressure you're feeling is from this, Gary," he said, placing a hand on one of Gary's forearms. "You told Alex something along those lines, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

A hand reached for the left sleeve and Gary pulled his hand away, hesitated, and then slowly pulled the sleeve up. He realized that he was tired – tired of hiding, of running… tired of hurting. There was a long pause before the professor finally found his voice.

"I think you gave me a false sense of security with your other arm." Gary gave a short and shaky laugh, grateful that his grandfather had made an attempt at lightening the tense air in the room. "These are much more recent than the others… Is this one on your wrist the same as the other one?" Gary nodded, finding himself unable to speak as his grandfather examined each scar, lightly tracing them with his fingers until he paused at one. "This one had stitches," he said in surprise. Gary nodded weakly, feeling sick. "When did this happen?"

Gary had to take in several deep breaths to calm his nausea before speaking. "September, the day before you came home."

"What happened?"

"May… we had a fight, sort of…" His voice trailed off as he raised a shaky hand to rub his forehead. He was starting to feel lightheaded…

"Did May give you the stitches too?" It took a great amount of will power to give a small nod that sent a wave of dizziness through Gary. Professor Oak noticed how shaky Gary had suddenly become and raised his eyes from the scarred arm to find that Gary had paled dramatically in the past few minutes. "Gary, are you alright?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," Gary said after taking several deep breaths. Professor Oak quickly helped him to his feet, surprised when Gary wearily shook him off before making his way to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Inside the bathroom, Gary leaned against the closed door with his eyes closed, willing himself to not be sick – a battle he felt he was quickly losing. Feeling his stomach churn, he quickly dropped in front of the toilet, pulling his hair out of his face as he felt his tiny breakfast coming back up. After a few minutes of spitting up bile, he could finally feel his sudden sickness abating. He flushed the toilet and rested his head against the cold surface of the bathtub, feeling pathetic as he could feel a few tears on his face. The bathroom door opened and Professor Oak entered the room; Gary heard him open one of the cabinets, pull something out, and turn on the water in the sink. A moment later, he felt a hand on his shoulder; his grandfather silently pulled his hair away from his face and pressed a cold cloth against his forehead.

"Professor?"

"In here, Damien."

Damien appeared in the doorway holding a small bottle of juice, his expression turning from confusion to concern as he crossed the room and sat on the edge of the tub next to Gary. He silently opened the bottle and handed it to Gary, resting a hand on his shoulder as Gary slowly drank its contents. A few moments passed and Gary could feel himself calming, his strength gradually returning. He slowly sat up, gently pushing away the cloth his grandfather still held against his face.

"I'll be in there in a few minutes," he said weakly. Professor Oak and Damien understood and returned to his bedroom as Gary stood and walked to the sink.

Gary was surprised at how pale he had turned from being sick; he quickly washed his face, brushed his teeth, and ran a brush through his hair. He was surprised to notice that his headache had faded; his skin was regaining its color as he gazed at the mirror. He finally turned from the mirror and left the bathroom to find that Damien had put on a Nightwish cd while his grandfather sat on the piano bench… He felt oddly relieved.

"I thought this would help a bit, one of your favorite bands and all," Damien explained with a small smile. "I would've put in Number of the Beast but I didn't see it…"

"Thanks."

Damien cleared his throat awkwardly and ran a hand through his blue and purple hair. "I'll be outside with everyone else if you need me, Andrew and Jon are in the music room too," he said, Professor Oak nodded in acknowledgement and Damien left the room.

Gary walked to the window and gazed out at the backyard, the trees were bare and brown leaves were scattered across the grass. Shawn had joined Kate and Ash while Ash's pikachu and Shadow played with Gary's umbreon; Gary smiled, he was wondering where his companion had been all day. May and Anna now sat by the pool with Michelle and Chelsea where they played with Lexi and Jon's jolteon Lola.

"Feel better now?"

Gary turned away from the window to look at his grandfather, the old man looked tired and worried. "Yeah. My headache's gone now," he answered quietly. Smiling as the song changed on the stereo, he reached over his grandfather and played along to the complicated keyboard melody in the song.

He was aware of his grandfather's warm smile as he played. "I must say, I find this far more enjoyable than some of the other things you and Anna listen to," the professor said lightly, feeling a sense of pride as he watched Gary's long fingers dance across the keys. It was with a heavy heart that he forced himself to return to the conversation he had been having with Gary before he had become suddenly ill. "I talked to Anna and Andrew, I even read about it on the internet – you know I can't understand this, but know that I love you and want to help you."

Gary's hands paused on the piano as he turned to meet his grandfather's eyes. "You researched cutting?"

"Yes, I wouldn't just sit by ignorantly with something as severe as this, Gary. It's part of my responsibility to make sure you're happy and healthy… I understand that this is something like an addiction: Andrew and Anna both told me that, and Andrew told me that you've tried stopping before. Alex told me that you sometimes feel like doing it again. Please… talk to me when you feel like that."

Gary nodded weakly, hating how words escaped him as his grandfather spoke. His eyes closed and he sighed as he realized he was crying again. "This is pitiful," he said softly, wiping his face.

"You're just going through a rough time, things will only get better. First though, and this is something Alex brought up that I happen to agree with, there's something you need to do before anything can get better." Gary opened his eyes, the tears having stopped. "You're going to hate me saying this and I hate having to say it, Gary, but you need to move on. You've never come to terms with the fact that your parents died – Gary, don't start arguing with me on this." He warned as Gary opened his mouth in anger. "You let yourself become entirely numb, we all remember it – you wouldn't eat, you wouldn't talk, you wouldn't do anything but sleep for a month straight; Gary, I gave you an IV and sat at your bedside day and night for weeks. You have no idea how painful it was to see a child as happy and brilliant as you were to lose the will to live. Alex had to practically force food down your throat and drag you down to the lab for school – you were too numb and, after awhile, too angry to realize how devoted he was to you. For two years, until you became friends with Anna, he spent ten hours _every_ day keeping you busy with school because it kept you going, and then he kept it up until you were ready to leave; that's part of the reason you never had to go to a prep school before going to the university. The point is, you never accepted it and that's why you're where you are right now."

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

A wee bit of a cliff-hanger and an extra long chapter to make up for the slight delay in updates. Anyways, I really wanted to show more of the history between Gary and Anna as well as show some of Gary's anxiety over this relationship. The conversation between Gary and Professor Oak was a bit difficult to write as it's something I'm currently dealing with and it's quite frustrating to have several people see fresh wounds and only have one person offer some sort of support.

Andrew's comment to Gary in the music room about a be-able-to-hear-things award is a reference to a Metalocalypse episode. The Symphony X album Gary's listening to in his room? Paradise Lost. The song that puts him to sleep? Also called Paradise Lost – awesome song, awesome album, based off an awesome epic poem! The song Anna was playing on guitar in the memory during Gary's dream was Children of Bodom's _Everytime I Die_.


	30. Chapter 30: Acceptance

**Beyond The Walls**

Wow, a three chapter update!! (As it says at the beginning of chapters 28 & 29) I _**completely rewrote **_chapter 28, so you might want to go back and read that! This one's shorter than usual but what it lacks in length it makes up for in drama…

Chapter 30: Acceptance

Gary sat on his bed for a long time after his grandfather left the room. Despite having gotten sick, he felt oddly relieved; talking to him had taken away a huge amount of pent up anxiety that he had only vaguely realized he had been feeling. The reassuring words and the mere fact that the professor had gone out of his way to try to understand what Gary was going through meant more to him than he could possibly admit. The memories with Anna had reignited an indescribable spark that he had forgotten about – what had happened to those days that they had spent running through the forest? The days spent chasing and tackling each other, playfully wrestling amongst the fallen leaves, climbing trees, and throwing acorns at each other had passed suddenly and without notice. And the guilt was nearly overwhelming – didn't he at least owe it to their friendship to remember these things?

He had explored a huge portion of the woods with Ash and Kate, the latter had hated it and the two boys had practically dragged her along with them. Kate had come up with so many excuses not to go into the woods with them – despite the fact that she always seemed to have fun after being dragged along – and, looking back, Gary found it amazing that she had even put up with them around Gary's house. Despite how much time the three friends had spent in the woods, there were places Gary had never seen until he and Anna became friends and started exploring years later.

And yet, there was one place in the woods, fairly close to the house, that he hadn't been to. There was a small trail leading to it; he had been on the path many times and knew how serene it was, lined with maple trees with wildflowers during the spring and summer months. He knew that the path's destination was beautiful too; he had approached it but had never quite reached it. Every time Gary came close to it, he would freeze, unable to approach the iron fence around the clearing. He couldn't bear to face the proof the small cemetery would bring him.

Without seeing the stone markers, he could lie to himself – sure, his parents were dead but that didn't mean they were _gone_; he would see them again… eventually. But to see those stones… that would undo all of the work that had gone into creating the walls that protected him from the greatest threat lying outside of the carefully created fortress: being alone. To see those stones was to see evidence, proof that his parents were _dead_, truly _gone_ and that he would _never_ see them again. The mere thought of facing that fact was enough to tear him up inside, not to mention it went against everything he had forced himself to believe despite what he knew to be true. After all, wasn't it that fortress that had let him keep his sanity over the years? But then again, that came full circle – what was sanity in the first place? Surely sane was not the best description of him – sanity did not involve slicing open your arms for a macabre relief, it did not involve shutting yourself off from the world out of fear, it did not involve swallowing pills to bring about permanent release. As much as that particular stream of thought shook him, it reassured him – if he lacked sanity now, how had he been only a few months prior? After all, he hadn't placed the blade to his flesh in months, the only suicide attempt had passed and he was finally moving on; most importantly, he had allowed himself to let down the walls that had been up for years.

If sane didn't describe him right now, neither did insane, and _that_ realization was a reassurance greater than anyone could offer him. He knew that if he could force himself through this barrier – the mental barriers as well as that iron gate to the grave yard – sanity would not be far away.

It was with this thought that Gary finally forced himself off of the bed, into the hall, and down the stairs. It was the last thing he wanted to do or even think about, but he knew he couldn't stay up in his bedroom all day; especially since he had to say goodbye to Charlotte and the other three who were leaving with her. He found most of his friends on the porch when he went outside, Andrew and Jon were presumably in the music room still, May was still by the pool with Anna, Chelsea, and Michelle; he didn't see Tracey, Ash and Kate anywhere and assumed they were in the lab.

"Hey, there you are! Been dead to the world all afternoon?" Charlotte asked cheerfully at his sudden appearance on the porch, ignoring David and Logan as they started singing a Nightwish song loudly.

Gary smiled at his two friends who were singing obnoxiously. "Not quite."

After asking if he was feeling better, the conversation quickly went back to what it had been before – predominantly music. There were stories from band practices, concerts, parties… Gary found himself grateful for the cheerful conversations. Sitting amongst friends seemed to restore his confidence, build up the strength for what he had to do after his four friends left. Despite this feeling of comfort, his laughs were forced, he had a hard time focusing on the conversation, he found himself wishing they would either leave or agree to stay a few more days so that he could simply get it over with. Andrew and Jon came downstairs after about half an hour and Gary felt more at ease with Andrew's arms folded across the back of his shoulders while he leaned against him.

Finally, after nearly an hour of hanging out on the porch, Charlotte glanced at her watch and cursed lightly. "I hate to break it to you, kiddies, but we've gotta pack the car and get our asses back up to Pastoria."

There were collective groans around the wooden table they were sitting at as Tim, David, and Logan stood to finish getting their belongings together. Half an hour later found Gary in the guest room Charlotte and Tim were sharing as he watched the former finish packing her small suitcase while Lexi ran in circles around the room, ecstatic at the notion of a car ride. Eva, Luna, and Apollo were curled up on the bed in a pile of black, yellow, and purple fur while Chip the houndoom sat at his feet, warily watching the bouncing ball of brown and white fur that was Lexi. Charlotte was saying how glad she was that Nik had taken Logan and David's guitars and amps with him since her car was so small.

"Charlotte, can I talk to you before you go?"

"You can talk to me about anything – I'm the group mommy and therapist, remember?"

Gary laughed softly, finally a laugh that wasn't partially forced. "Yeah, I remember; I haven't been away for _that_ long."

"I wouldn't let you be away for that long," Charlotte said with a small laugh and warm smile. "Speak, what's up?"

Gary hesitated for a moment, idly scratching Chip's head. "How long was it before…"

"Before I knew I loved Tim?"

"Yeah."

"I figured it was something like that – you're easy to read, you know that?" She ignored Gary's pointed glare while she zipped the suitcase shut and moved on to checking that her camera was safely packed away. "I guess I knew it all along… it's not something you really think about that much, over time you just realize it. You want to spend your time with them more than anyone else, you'll tell them anything, you feel safe with them, you get really happy when you think about them… sex with them is better than sex with anyone else." She laughed at this as she placed her camera bag on the bed with her suitcase. Gary kneeled to pet Chip as he pondered her words silently, watching out of the corner of his eye as she pulled a disc out of her laptop before placing the computer in her bag. "Stop thinking about it, this is where being smart screws you over – if you love her, you'll know it without thinking about it. Here, this is for you," She handed him the cd that she had removed from her computer. "Those are the pictures I took of everyone the past few days, plus a few old ones that I found and thought you'd like. There's a lot of pictures of you and Anna, and for the record, you were happier than I've ever seen you whenever you were with Anna."

"Thanks, Charlotte."

"No problem, like I said, mommy and therapist." She looked at the dozing espeon and the two umbreon on the bed with a small smile as she pulled two pokeballs off of her belt and recalled Eva and Luna. "Mind getting Apollo for me?"

Gary stood with a small sigh and picked up the ball that was resting on the dresser behind him and recalled the still-sleeping umbreon that remained on the bed. Charlotte took the ball from him and placed it on her belt away from the other three balls so she would know which pokemon was Tim's. Gary carried her bass guitar for her as she took her three bags and Chip and Lexi followed them obediently down the stairs and outside to her car where Tim was loading his guitar and amp into the trunk. David and Logan were sitting on the hood of the car while Jon and Damien leaned against the rear end of his Buick that was parked in front of Charlotte's Taurus. Lexi jumped into the backseat of the car and began eagerly sniffing the seats and Logan and David's bags. Chelsea and Shawn came out with Andrew to say goodbye a few minutes later as Gary was talking to Tim and David.

A few minutes later and they were pulling out of the driveway. Damien and Shawn went back inside, leaving Gary with Chelsea, Andrew, and Jon.

"I'm surprised you're not going with your cousin, Jon." Chelsea remarked lightly.

"Yeah, well, we're leaving on Thursday so I'll see her sometime on Friday." Jon replied, pushing Andrew as the blonde boy jokingly ran a hand down his back in a sensual manner.

"You realize I'm leaving tomorrow, right, Gary?" Chelsea asked him, noticing how quiet he had been in the past few minutes that she had been with him.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you before you go. Why don't you two go inside?" He asked Andrew and Jon, who exchanged curious looks before shrugging and turning to go back in the house.

"What's up, brat?" Chelsea asked, leaning against her car.

"Look, there's something I have to do today and I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow so I don't know if I'll see you before you leave,"

"And what exactly is this thing you have to do?" Chelsea asked suspiciously.

"I don't really want to talk about –"

"Just tell me."

Gary sighed heavily, not wanting to tell her about the cemetery. "Fine, my grandfather wants me to go to my parents' graves, happy now?"

Chelsea's expression softened as she saw how uncomfortable her friend was. "Not particularly, but at least I know what it is now. Is this going to be the first time?" Gary nodded. "The ferry doesn't leave until three tomorrow, I'm not leaving until two so I'm sure I'll see you sometime –"

"Chelsea, you don't understand –"

"No, but I know it's going to be hard for you and you'll probably be pretty upset. I don't expect you to help me pack my car or anything tomorrow, I'll just want to say goodbye to you before I leave. If you're upset or whatever, I'll find you and talk to you for a few minutes before I leave, that's all. Besides, I'll see you again in a few weeks; we're on the same research team, remember? I'm moving to Pallet in January so you'll see me all the time." She could see Gary wasn't entirely pleased with the fact that she would see him the next day but she figured he would just have to deal with it. She gave him a quick, reassuring hug before standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Afraid I'll see you upset? Gary, I've seen you puking your guts out, I've seen you too sick to get out of bed, I've seen you in the hospital _twice_, and I've seen you after you've cut yourself – what's wrong if I see you cry? That's why you don't want me to see you tomorrow, isn't it? I'm a chick, I understand all the emotional and sentimental bullshit; it's not like I'm going to go around calling you a wuss for it. Do what you have to and know that I'll be here for you until I have to leave tomorrow and after that, I'll only be a phone call or an IM away – I'll be online all the time, you know that."

"Yeah, I guess… I'm going to go now before it gets any later, it's going to get dark in an hour… If you see Alex, can you tell him where I'm going?"

"He's in the lab, I'll go tell him when I go in. Do you want me to drive you or anything?"

Gary laughed softly, glancing at her tiny car that looked ready to crumble. "No, it's in the woods. I think the drive would cause your car to break in half."

Chelsea nodded and gave him a sad smile, squeezing his hand reassuringly before walking back to the house where Andrew was waiting at the front door. Gary sighed, finally alone and not particularly happy about it. He ran a hand through his hair and pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head before walking around the house to the edge of the woods. He wandered aimlessly through the trees in the general direction of the trail, climbing over logs and rocks, ducking under low branches of the oaks, elms, and maples until he reached a break in the bare trees.

Stepping onto the path, he felt skeptical and depressed; unsure if this was the right thing to do. He felt his mind going blank and he slowly made his way along the path. The trees were bare, giving him a clear few of a stormy gray sky; in the summer, the trees would be covered in green leaves, blocking out all view of a sapphire sky. In summer, birds would be chirping, wildflowers would be thick underfoot, the path would be alluring. In winter though… the path was dreary and Gary's downcast mood only intensified it. Dead leaves crunched loudly under his footsteps, the only sounds were those of his footsteps and breathing; there were no birds singing gaily, there were no flowers sprouting up in his path. After a few minutes of walking, the trees gave way to a small clearing surrounded by a wrought iron fence that was covered in vines of ivy that had remained green despite the cold weather. The entrance was a small archway with a rose bush planted on either side, the plants climbing the arch, normally providing beautiful blossoms that were absent today. In the middle of the clearing was an old oak tree that would have been perfect for climbing as a child, if he had ever dared to walk past the point where he currently stood – even before his parents had died, he had avoided this place, back then it gave him the creeps despite its serenity.

A small sigh escaped him as he froze before the small gate, arms hugged tightly against his chest and eyes stinging from a combination of cold and the beginnings of emotion. He had come to this point several times before, always stopping here and becoming incapable of forcing himself to go further. A few moments passed while Gary stood in front of the archway containing the gate, silently battling the urge to turn around and go back to the house where he could go down to the den and play air hockey with Andrew or pool with Damien, or even Sega with Tracey.

Finally, he reached forward and swung the gate open, grimacing as the metal shrieked in protest. "The cry of a banshee," He said with a small laugh, wondering how it was possible for him to joke at a time like this. "At least there's no zombies…" He sighed, walking through the arch and closing the gate behind him.

Grim determination forced him forward towards the two newest stone markers, they were easy to find seeing as there were few others in the tiny family cemetery. Before each of the two stones was a small bouquet of carnations, tied together with a ribbon and now dried from the lack of water – May must have been here recently. He silently kneeled before the graves, unable to look at the names on them and unsure of what to do – was he supposed to talk? What would he talk to in the first place? There was no one that would hear him out here – the graves were full of nothing but bones now anyway. That thought brought tears to his eyes, the thought of his beloved parents reduced to mere configurations of calcium and phosphates made his throat close up entirely.

He scooped up a handful of dry leaves, watching them fall through his fingers, desperate to be doing something, anything other than this. It took a huge force of will to keep tears at bay as he sat there, picking at the leaves on the ground next to him as he avoided looking at the gravestones and the dried flowers that his sister had left. Without seeing them, he could pretend he was somewhere else in the forest, idly playing with the leaves to pass time… to postpone the inevitable. He stiffened as he heard the gate creak ominously behind him.

"It's just me," a voice said softly.

Gary heard Alex's footsteps slowly approach him and he swallowed hard when Alex paused behind him.

"I know this is hard," he said gently, gingerly placing a hand on Gary's shoulder. "But you have to do it at some point and sooner would be better than later."

"I know." Gary whispered, gaining comfort from Alex's quiet presence.

"It was a long time before I could come out here too, it made it too real."

Gary nodded, closing his eyes against the tears. "I don't want to do this."

Alex kneeled next to him, gently pushing the hood off of Gary's head and pulling his hair away from his face. "I know, but you have to."

Unable to bear Alex's soft words and gentle tone, Gary stood abruptly, turning to leave as Alex grabbed his arm.

"You know you can't keep running," he said as he stood, his hand on Gary's arm being the only thing keeping him rooted to the spot where he stood. "and I know you don't want to – that's why you let your grandfather see your arms earlier and why you came out here."

Gary kept his eyes to the ground, head hung so that his hair fell into his face, carefully trying to keep a barrier between him and Alex. The barrier was broken as Alex tucked the curtains of hair behind his ears and tilted Gary's chin up to meet his eyes.

"Eleven years is too long, Gary. I know you miss them, I do too, but there's nothing you can do about it." He sighed softly, resting both hands on Gary's shoulders. "They're not entirely gone, you know –"

"They're dead; you can't get much more gone than that." Gary spat bitterly, starting to turn away from Alex only to be jerked back to face him.

"Don't put me in this situation again, Gary, I dragged you out of your room kicking and screaming back then, I'll force you to read the gravestones now. I don't want to but, so help me, I will." He sighed again and his voice softened. "You have your memories of them and you still love them; as long as you still have that, they'll never be gone." Gary once more tried to pull away but Alex's fingers latched on to his wrist. "Stop fighting, you know I'm right, don't make me force you into facing it, that's the last thing I want to do."

Gary pulled away suddenly and sharply, Alex's nails leaving scratches along his wrist from him trying to keep his grasp on him. He had already turned and taken a few steps away when Alex grabbed him, a short scuffle later and Gary found himself facing the stone grave markers, Alex behind him with his arms around his shoulders to keep him from running.

"Read the names, Gary." Alex said, his voice slightly choked, and Gary knew that it was hurting him deeply to do this. It didn't keep him from being angry though. "You have to face it, you have to move on."

Looking at the large slabs of stone with the names etched permanently in them, Gary knew what he had to do but didn't want to acknowledge it. He wanted to scream and rage at whatever cosmic force had taken his parents away, lash out and fight back against Alex's hold on him.

But he couldn't; he'd turned his anger into an arrogant mask long before, he'd turned his rage into a pain that was cured temporarily by a blade. All of his anger had been spent on himself over many years and there was none left. The time for anger had already passed, as had the time for numbness and denial. The time for death was gone and now was time for the life and happiness he'd kept himself from reaching for years. It was time for life, and to live was to grieve.

He could feel himself trembling, trying desperately not to break down in front of Alex.

"Stop fighting it." Alex whispered, letting go of him and stepping away.

Gary stayed standing for a moment longer, shock and anger towards Alex fading as the tears began falling. Alex watched as Gary silently hugged himself and stepped forward again a minute late.

"I'm going to leave now, I won't be far though," he said softly, squeezing Gary's shoulder. "It's ok to cry, you need to."

Gary felt Alex remove his hand and heard him walk away, heard the gate squeal and then clang as he closed it behind him. Turning, Gary saw him keep walking, pausing at the edge of the trees. Sighing, he dropped in front of the graves once more, running his hand slowly across the stones while silently grieving. The tears were uncontrollable as he removed his hand, softly whispering "good bye".

Alex watched from the edge of the trees as Gary sobbed quietly into his hands, feeling guilty that he'd forced Gary to face the stones but taking comfort in the fact that, once Gary got past this stage of grieving, he'd be far better off than he had been over the nearly-eleven years that had passed. He felt his own tears as he watched the teen mourn; he wasn't crying just for his deceased friends but for the children who had been torn up by it, more for Gary than for May though. May had moved through the stages of grief quickly and had soon returned to a normal life, or as close to one as she could manage. Gary on the other hand, had gotten trapped in a state of deadly numbness that he'd had to physically force him out of. Gary's initial anger towards Alex had broken through his numbness; after that, he had cycled back and forth through anger, numbness, and depression. He had never accepted it and, consequently, never moved on from it. Forcing Gary once more into a new stage of grief weighed heavily on Alex but knew it had to be done.

His tears passed quickly and he sat at the base of a particularly large elm tree while he waited on Gary. It was growing dark when he saw Gary finally rise to his feet in the cemetery.

By the time Gary turned to leave, Alex had already reached the fence and was leaning against it silently. Gary slowly approached him, seeming wary and exhausted as he hesitated just outside of the archway. Alex closed the space between them with a few strides and pulled him into an embrace that he was surprised to feel Gary return.

"I'm sorry," Alex said softly.

"I know." Gary's voice was slightly hoarse and sounded strained.

"Things _will_ get better."

"I sure hope so because this year has sucked."

Alex laughed softly, not bothering to point out that, despite the bad things that had happened, the past year had been largely fun for Gary. He pulled back after a few moments, during which they remained silent, and pressed a kiss against Gary's forehead. "I'm proud of you, you know. Showing your grandfather your scars was a big step for you and he appreciated it, he felt so bad about you getting sick though."

"Yeah, well, so did I."

Alex laughed again. "I can't imagine why." He replied with a smile. "Regardless, I'm proud of you and you need to know that. It's ok for you to be upset, which I'm sure you will be for the next few days, but you'll be fine. We should go back to the house though, May's probably finishing up dinner and I know you've barely eaten today."

"I'm not really hungry." Gary replied as he trailed along behind Alex on the path back to the house.

Alex shook his head. "We're not doing this again. Your grandfather would be _very_ upset if he had to give you another IV…"

"I'll eat later, right now I just want to lay down and be by myself for awhile."

Alex sighed softly as they kept walking along the dark path. He didn't speak again until they had broken through the edge of the forest and were walking up the lawn.

"I'll let you go off by yourself but you have to promise me a few things first."

"Yeah?" Gary asked, pulling the hood over his head once more.

"Yeah. First, you will not in any way hurt yourself –"

"I'm too tired to even think about it right now."

"That's good, but I'm still serious about it. Secondly, I want you at least have something to drink to keep your blood sugar up, and I want you to eat sometime before I get up in the morning, I don't care what as long as you eat. And I don't want you sitting up in your room brooding by yourself for a long time. You can be by yourself for awhile but I want you to get some rest and then at least be with Anna for awhile, it would be good for you to talk to your sister and Andrew."

"Fine."

"I mean it, Gary."

"I know you do, Alex." Gary sighed as he pulled open the back door and walked into the kitchen.

Andrew was sitting next to Tracey at the table with Ash and Kate while May and Bella worked on dinner. They looked up in surprise when Alex and Gary walked in and Andrew opened his mouth to speak but closed it when Alex gave him a stern look. Gary silently crossed the room to the refrigerator and poured a glass of apple juice to satisfy Alex's wish before going upstairs to his room and laying down on the bed next to Umbreon after pulling off the sweatshirt and his shoes and tossing them on the floor. The events of the day had left him exhausted and he soon fell asleep curled amongst the pillows next to his pokemon. He slept for a long time, not even waking when Anna laid down next to him and pulled the comforter around them both.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Such a hard chapter to write…

When Gary goes on the porch by his friends, Logan and David start singing Nightwish's Dead to the World.

I'm thinking of making May a bit more prominent of a character after a couple more chapters and I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas of how to bring her in more and develop her character a bit more. There are a few ideas that I'm toying with but I'd love some insight from other people that have become a bit familiar with the story. It seems like I only bring her in when something's bothering Gary or when all of the characters are together but I'm drawing a bit of a blank when it comes to inspiration for her! I'd kind of like to hook her up with a character so if you have any ideas or thoughts… let me know!

Any ideas and suggestions are welcome, of course, just leave me a review. I'd love some feedback on everything going on. I also have a poll about this story up on my profile, check it out when you get a chance!

Thanks for sticking with the story so long!


	31. Chapter 31: Interference Part 1

**Beyond The Walls**

Massive update...

Hope you all enjoy reading so many new chapters!

Chapter 31: Interference Part 1

The next few days passed slowly for Gary and it seemed to him as though he were moving through a dense fog. He had slept straight through the night on Tuesday and was woken up in the morning by Anna. Remembering Alex's words from the day before, he had showered and gone downstairs for a small breakfast before heading back upstairs. Chelsea had brought up lunch and stayed with him for over an hour, talking about many things ranging from the research project to what she was going to do in the Orange Islands for her holiday. She didn't bring up the day before except to ask how he was and if he wanted to talk about it; their conversation on it was brief and shallow as Gary preferred to speak about it with either his girlfriend or his sister. She had left soon afterwards and he had spent the rest of the day in a continuous cycle of grieving and sleeping. He had been only vaguely aware of Anna's nearly-constant presence as well as May's occasional presence. Both Alex and his grandfather had checked on him while his friends opted to give him his space. All in all, he barely remembered the day even though it seemed to pass so slowly.

One thing he did remember was the decision he had made during one of his crying episodes with both Anna and May: he _was_ going to change. Sometime after opening the floodgates on Tuesday, he realized that every one of his problems had stemmed from never accepting what had happened and thus never allowing himself to move on. Now, he had confronted his near-fear of the cemetery and its contents; now he could accept it and begin to move on. But moving on meant dealing with his problems, even if he didn't want to admit that they existed. He was _done_ with cutting, he had told the girls, done for good and that meant that, instead of ignoring the urge until it overwhelmed him, he would seek refuge in the understanding that Anna and Andrew could offer him; he would seek other, healthier ways for that release. Most of all, that meant he would confront the problem and actually talk about it with the people that cared about him…

The fog seemed less dense on Thursday, perhaps because he had actually spent several hours outside of his room and had eaten food with genuine sustenance for the first time since Monday. The many hours of sleep between the previous two days had made it impossible for him to sleep any longer and he found himself in the den with the four friends that remained in Pallet for several hours. The several consecutive hours of video games, conversation, and simply hanging out hardly distracted him from it all but seemed to help him heal. The interaction seemed to ground him and allow him to place his focus on the now and not the past or even the future. This in particular seemed to help more than anything else as it allowed him to deal with his emotions as they came, and they came – sometimes in a sudden torrent of anger, sometimes a surge of pain, other times a flood of longing for Anna's company, which he sought after Damien left in the afternoon with Shawn and Jon.

Friday was the day that the fog really seemed to begin to clear and time seemed to return to its normal speed. Initially, it had seemed as though it would be a wonderful day; perhaps the first in a long while where he was genuinely at ease.

Anna woke him gently and he slowly came to, waking peacefully as she lightly stroked his hair. He kept his eyes closed for a long time after waking, listening to Anna softly sing an Epica song and breathing in her scent as he lay curled next to her with his head resting on her stomach. Her scent was alluring to him; a combination of vanilla soap from her shower the night before, her coconut body spray, the slight scent of lavender from the laundry detergent that had been used on the shirt she was wearing, and that comforting scent of a warm bed that had often been slept in. Waking up to that combination of smells, combined with the warmth of her body against his, was an experience he would never grow tired of.

"I'm going to start singing Metallica if you don't stop pretending to be asleep." She said after awhile, the clear quality of her voice informing him that she had been awake far longer than he had.

He chuckled softly, still groggy from sleep. "It's too early to be up," he replied, yawning and closing his eyes again.

"It's twelve-thirty!"

Gary groaned as Anna's hands slid down his side to lightly tickle him until he sat up. Gazing down at her through tired eyes, he realized that he had barely even looked at her over the past few days. Her hair was pulled back into a braid that was currently trailing across the grey pillow behind her head, her eyes were bright and loving but held concern in their depths, the snug shirt she was wearing had a picture of an eevee sleeping on a cloud over her breasts and directed his attention to the curves beneath the shirt that his hands slowly traced over. The move caused her to sigh deeply as he leaned down to kiss her for what must have been the first time since Tuesday morning, his tongue slipped into her mouth and the sensation turned him desperate for her touch. As the kisses grew more frenzied and desperate and Gary's hands wandered further down her body, Anna slipped out from under him, pushed him on his back and draped herself over his waist, slowly trailing kisses along his throat and running her hands along his chest underneath his shirt. The shirt came off and Anna's lips continued mapping out the sensitive places along his torso, her fingers lightly grasped the waist of the gym shorts resting loosely on his hips as her tongue slid along his stomach; Anna grinned at the dark moan that escaped Gary. She slowly tugged the shorts down, continuing to tease him with her tongue and fighting back an amused smile as he writhed beneath her.

Anna glanced up at Gary when she heard him gasp her name. "Stop teasing," he groaned, sighing as her tongue ran along his length.

She flashed him a grin before taking him into her mouth, mildly surprised when he moaned loudly and arched his back – it hadn't been _that_ long since they had last been together. As her mouth continued to slide over his flesh Anna remained surprised by the pleasurable sounds coming from Gary, she had intended on going further than this but, judging by the way he writhed at her slightest touch, she doubted he would last long enough for that. Her suspicion proved to be true as he suddenly spilled across her tongue far sooner than she anticipated. She slid over his waist and lightly cupped his face, kissing him softly while he was still panting from pleasure.

"That's all?" She teased, smiling down at him as he rolled his eyes slightly.

"I would've warned you that I wasn't going to last if you had given me a chance to speak." He said quietly, sliding his hand along her hair until he came to the end of the braid and tugging the tie out. Gary sighed softly as he ran his hands through her hair, letting it fall in soft waves around her shoulders from being braided for so long. Smiling as she turned her head to place a small kiss on his hand, he met her eyes tranquilly. "You're so beautiful," he whispered.

Anna returned the gentle smile with a slight giggle before turning serious. "How are you?" She asked.

"I'm… ok, I guess."

"You're feeling better?"

Gary nodded, sliding out from under her so she could lay next to him. "I still feel kind of…" His voice trailed off as he searched for a proper term.

"Bogged down?" Anna suggested.

"Yeah, I mean, I feel like my head is finally clearing now, but it's still sort of surreal to me. I'll just be happy when this year is over so I can get past all of this."

"Well, you've got less than two weeks until then, but your problems aren't all just going to disappear just because it's a new year, Gary."

"I know, but it'll at least feel more like they're in the past." Gary sighed, slipping an arm around Anna's shoulder and pulling her closer. "I don't know, right now it just seems kind of hard – I don't know exactly what to do, I mean; if I try not to think about problems, then I'm ignoring them, but if I do think about them, then I'm dwelling on them."

"The thing is to not go out of your way to either think about it or ignore them. Especially with cutting."

"I'm done with cutting."

"We've discussed this at least five times over the past two days, Gary."

"It's true though." Gary retorted, idly running his hand up and down her arm as he gazed at the ceiling over them.

Anna sat up and took his wrists in her hands, pressing gentle kisses against his arms. "I know it is," she said softly. "But we shouldn't keep discussing it. Talking too much about it will tempt you." She stood and slipped her shirt over her head and tossed it on the floor before sliding her tiny pajama shorts down her legs. She smirked at the reaction she saw in Gary. "Shower now or later?"

"Later." Gary answered, standing and pulling her against him in a fierce kiss.

--- --- ---

Alex was walking down the hallway, intending on going upstairs to check on Gary, when Gary suddenly came down the stairs. To his surprise, Gary smiled at him when he leapt over the last two stairs; he had barely smiled all week between not feeling particularly well on Monday, being sick on Tuesday, and then being upset since Tuesday afternoon.

"Morning!" Gary greeted cheerfully as he headed down the hall in the direction of the kitchen.

Alex furrowed his brow in confusion, Gary was rarely this happy. "It's almost two." He replied flatly.

"I know."

"Are you drunk?" There had to be some reason behind Gary's random cheerfulness.

"No." Gary gave Alex a confused look as he entered the kitchen, greeting Kate and Ash as he picked through the fruit in a bowl on the counter.

As Alex took in Gary's appearance, he noticed that Gary looked far better than he had during the rest of the week. Gary had been paler than usual even on Monday and Alex had assumed he wasn't feeling well, which Anna and May had both confirmed, but now his color had returned. During the rest of the week Gary had worn nothing but gym shorts and long sleeves, rarely without his sweatshirt, but now he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt – something which particularly surprised Alex since the temperature had dropped into the fifties and even Andrew had resorted to wearing a sweatshirt.

"You must be feeling better, to be this cheerful." Alex said softly after crossing the kitchen to stand next to Gary, who merely nodded in response. "What are you planning on doing today?"

Gary thought for a moment before answering, slowly chewing a mouthful of apple. "Probably go out someplace with Andrew; get out of this house for once."

"That would be a good idea, considering I doubt you've left the house in a week. Not that I blame you on that matter." Alex replied, looking thoughtful. He noticed an amused smile play across Gary's lips while he watched Ash and Kate sit at the table with Shadow and Pikachu, the two animals running around under and around the table with Pikachu perched on the eevee's back. "You know, Ash was saying something about needing to go out to get new clothes, why don't you invite him to go to the mall with you and Andrew? I'm sure Tracey would tag along, he and Ash are friends, aren't they?"

"Yeah… I don't know –"

"What's not to know?"

"Alex," Gary began, only to be cut off.

"Just do it, what's the worst that could happen? Tracey will be there to keep you all in line."

"Maybe."

"When was the last time you even hung out with Ash?" Alex pressed.

Gary sighed, stalking across the kitchen to the back door and ignoring the question.

"It's cold out." Alex warned as Gary opened the door and stepped outside, shaking his head as he heard Gary curse loudly before coming back inside. "Told you so."

Gary simply ignored him and left the room to go upstairs and change into something more appropriate for the weather before he tracked down Andrew. He was surprised to find his bedroom empty when he reached it; the entire second floor was oddly quiet and he wondered where Anna had gone. He was in his closet picking out a new shirt when Umbreon suddenly raced into the room, excitedly running directly to him when she saw him. Gary laughed as she bounced happily around him, nudging his hand and whining for attention.

"Hey, girl, where have you been the past few days?" He kneeled before her, laughing more as she rested her front paws on his knees and began licking his face. "Your nose is freezing; did Grandpa have you help him on the reserve this morning?"

"Actually, she's been running around with your houndoom all day."

Gary looked up to see May standing in the room, he hadn't noticed her come in with Umbreon jumping all over him. "That's not surprising, we haven't been able to go running lately."

"She missed you."

Gary smiled as the black creature closed her eyes as he scratched her ears. "I can tell," he said softly. "But I'm sure you had fun playing with everyone, didn't you?" He looked up at May. "When I moved back home, I didn't think about how much she would miss everyone else's pokemon. I've just been really involved with myself lately, I'm sorry, girl."

Umbreon nuzzled his cheek affectionately in response and May giggled at the exchange. "I'm glad to see you're feeling better." She said quietly, leaning against his desk and watching him stand up while Umbreon turned and made a running leap onto the bed.

"I feel a lot better than I have in a pretty long time, actually." Gary informed her as he tugged his t-shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor, surprised when May came over and wrapped her arms around him.

"I just want everything to get better for you." She said softly, voice cracking slightly from emotion.

Gary sighed and returned the hug. "I know."

"I love you – you drive me insane at times but I love you." May buried her face against his shoulder, clinging to him.

"I love you too, May." Gary said, tightening his grip on her slightly.

"I don't know what I would do without you… there were so many times when I felt like I couldn't go on, you were the only thing that kept me going."

Gary pulled away enough to meet his sister's eyes. "You never told me this." He said softly, startled by her admission.

"I just felt so helpless watching you go through everything, knowing you were hurting yourself just made me feel so horrible…"

"I'm sorry, May… I'm so sorry; I never meant to put you through this."

May pulled away and wiped her eyes. "I know you didn't, Gary. It happens, seeing you upset kills me… I'm so glad you've been getting better."

Gary pulled her against him again and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I guess it's a good thing we have each other. You're seriously the best sister anyone could have, dealing with all of my shit all the time. Seriously, May," he added as she laughed softly. "Dealing with my attitude, my hangovers, the cutting, and then me sneaking out with Anna everywhere we went –"

"Like the time I caught you guys and I had to chase you two all over the hotel?"

"Which time? That happened a lot."

"Actually I was thinking of the time you pushed Anna in the pool. Where was that? Celadon?"

"Vermillion, and I had a dream about that time on Tuesday… I got my first kiss that night, actually…"

May laughed. "Figures you would remember that."

"Yeah," Gary chuckled softly; holding his sister like this was a great comfort, with one exception. "Um, May?"

"Yeah?"

"You do realize it's like fifty degrees outside right now, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, could you please let go of me so I can finish getting dressed?"

"Oh, so you mean you're shivering for a reason?" May teased, stepping away from him and walking over to his bed.

--- --- ---

"Wait, so the keyboard was broken the whole time?" Tracey asked between laughs.

Andrew nodded, trying to stop laughing. "Yeah, we didn't realize it was the one Gary broke after we got in this huge fight." He said when he finally regained enough breath to speak.

"How did you guys not notice that?"

"Oh, we were trashed… So much tequila, you have no idea. The next morning sucked though – four people in a house with two bathrooms."

Andrew and Tracey were sitting in the music room while Andrew shared stories from school while they waited for Gary to eventually turn up in the room. Tracey found that he never got tired of hearing the stories from Sinnoh and that the funniest ones seemed to involve alcohol.

"How did you guys manage to have a _house_ in Pastoria? I would think you guys would only be able to afford an apartment."

"It's kind of a long story." Andrew said.

"Tell me." Tracey encouraged.

Andrew heaved a sigh and raked a hand through his hair. "It was actually kind of the house I grew up in, it was my grandparent's house." Tracey gave him an encouraging nod and Andrew pressed on with a small sigh. "Remember when we were outside a few days ago, talking about Gary and Anna? I mentioned my parents?" Tracey nodded again. "When me, Nik, and Abby – she's my little sister – were kids, our parents were really awesome – they were really in love, everyone thought they were the best couple ever. You know: never fought, never seen without each other, always held hands when they walked together, and all that shit. Anyway, my mother had this really high-up job in a nice office and all, but when I was eight, her parents were killed in a car wreck – well, her mother was killed, her father was put on life-support but never woke up. Anyway, my mother got really depressed and started drinking and lost her job and ended up having an affair that my dad found out about, so he started drinking too. They'd fight all the time… They ended up having a really nasty divorce, I ran away in the middle of it when I turned ten, when I came back –"

"Where'd you go?" Tracey interrupted.

"Took my bike and a bunch of buses and ended up in New Bark Town in Johto; I got my training license, a chikorita, some supplies. Then I took off to Kanto to start training…"

"Why'd you come to Kanto?"

"Mostly to get away from Sinnoh but Kanto has the easiest terrain to navigate; the least mountains and water and forest, you know. I trained there for a pretty long time; I even ended up battling Gary once."

"Really?"

Andrew nodded. "Yeah, he was still fairly new at training, I think we were in Celadon actually. His arcanine beat the hell out of my bayleaf but my lapras took out both Arcanine and his nidorino. Apparently I was one of the few trainers to actually beat him, anyway, he actually somehow remembered me when we met at school, don't know how."

"Let me guess, you guys were instant friends?" Tracey asked.

"Oh, hell no! Gary was such a cocky bastard as a trainer that he couldn't take loses very well at all, not to mention different training theories… No, man, it took us awhile into our first semester before we got along. Shit, we've gone off on a tangent – I forgot that I had family in Cerulean City and ran into an uncle that dragged my ass, kicking and screaming, back to Pastoria and I ended up stuck with my dad. That was when I was twelve and I ended up in a lot trouble with drugs until my grandparents took me in and got me cleaned up and homeschooled me and somehow got me a chance to intern with Professor Birch down in Hoenn. After my first year of university, they decided to get a small apartment for themselves in Sunyshore and let me keep the house with some of my friends. So that's how we ended up with a house."

"Wow... You're right, that is a long story. I didn't realize you had been through so much. You've actually been through more than Gary?"

"Yeah, but Gary's problems are a lot worse – I was doing a lot of drugs but I got clean before I did any real damage to myself and I was only cutting for four years, I stopped before going to Hoenn."

"And Gary's been doing it for nearly six."

"Yep." Andrew said with a grim smile, his expression turning to surprise as he took in Tracey's words. "Wait, he told you that?" Tracey nodded. "That's surprising actually… oh well, it's Gary."

"What about me?"

Tracey and Andrew both jumped, startled by Gary's sudden appearance in the doorway. Andrew grinned when he saw Gary. "We were just talking about how nice your ass is and how much we'd like to –"

"A bit more information than I needed." Gary replied flatly, cutting him off and striding across the room to sit on the couch between the two boys.

"What's up, Gary?" Tracey asked.

"I want to do something other than sit around all day." Gary said, eyes following Andrew as he stood and walked over to the wall by the guitars that were hanging. "No." He said, sighing at Andrew's frown. "You can play if you want but I don't really feel like it right now – and if you touch my Warwick, you are going to be in a lot of pain!"

"Are you alright?" Andrew asked as Gary sighed suddenly, putting back the bass that he had picked up.

"Yeah… Just a bit of a headache."

Andrew sighed and walked back over to the couch, sitting down and slipping behind Gary and running his hands through Gary's hair. "You've been getting a lot of headaches lately," he said as he gently massaged Gary's head.

It was several minutes later that Gary finally responded to Andrew's observation. "There's been a lot on my mind lately."

"Well, that's been pretty obvious the past few days," Andrew replied. "So, what's up?"

Gary hesitated, unsure if he should say what was currently on his mind to Andrew. Finally he sighed and surrendered. "I think I'm in love with Anna." He rolled his eyes as Andrew's hands fell from his scalp. Turning, he noticed a strange expression on Andrew's face that he couldn't interpret. "What?"

Andrew shook his head, eyes slightly wider than usual. "Nothing, I just didn't expect that. I mean, you two haven't even been dating for two months yet… it's kind of sudden, that's all."

"I know, that's what I've been thinking too… But I was talking to my grandfather on Tuesday and he told me that we've always acted like a couple and that May even thought we were dating without telling anyone for awhile."

"That's not surprising – when you first came home, you two definitely seemed like you were dating." Tracey spoke up for the first time since the conversation had begun.

"Unfortunately, that's not anything either of us can help you with, man."

Gary rolled his eyes at Andrew's obvious statement, wondering why he had even brought it up in the first place. "I know that," he snapped. "I'd be an idiot to think otherwise with how much everyone's been saying that."

Andrew sighed and stood up from the couch and looking down at Gary. "Could you drop the attitude? I know there's been a bunch of shit going on lately but seriously – stop being an ass!" He groaned when Gary suddenly dropped his head into his hands. "Man… Don't guilt-trip me."

"I'm not!" Gary hissed, standing up and walking into the bathroom. He leaned against the shut bathroom door and closed his eyes; his mood had plummeted and he wasn't sure why. His day had started wonderfully and now, only a few hours into it, it had taken a turn for absolutely no reason. The realization left him frustrated – couldn't he just get past this and be happy? On top of his diminished mood, he had snapped at his best friend when he was just trying to help him, which only disappointed him and killed his mood even more.

From the other side of the door, Gary could hear a guitar playing and he groaned again – part of him wanted to yell at Andrew; playing music wouldn't just make all of the problems in the world go away. He walked across the bathroom and sat on the floor next to the bathtub and leaned against the cold porcelain of the tub. He hated the way his emotions were constantly changing over the past few days; it made him feel helpless and out of control, not to mention it made him understand how the girls felt when they were dealing with PMS. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, trying to calm down… it had worked yesterday, why wasn't it working now? But as the question entered his mind, the answer came to him: yesterday he had been too distracted to feel the urge, but now… now there was no distraction as he sat on the bathroom floor. Sitting on the floor of the room where May gave him stitches only made the urge worse. He didn't even realize what he was doing as he stood and walked to the medicine cabinet, opening it and pulling out the small pair of scissors that were next to a roll of medical tape.

Feeling the cold metal resting against his palm as he opened the scissors brought him back to himself. Gazing down at the metal object in his hand, he felt sick – he had _just_ told Anna that he was completely done with cutting only a few hours earlier, and yet here he was with a blade in hand and he hadn't even realized his actions until now. It was the same story as every other time he had tried to stop; he would get particularly angry or upset and then, before he even realized what he was doing, he had a blade in hand while blood steadily dripped down his arm. It sickened him. Growling in frustration, Gary flung the twin blades across the room, watching as they hit the far wall and fell to the ground after leaving a small ding in the wall. Flinging the door open, he stalked out of the room and into the hallway beyond.

--- --- ---

"If you would stop and actually talk to me –"

"Back off, Andrew!"

"I haven't done it in the past, what makes you think I will now?"

Alex sighed when he heard the angry voices belonging to Andrew and Gary approach the kitchen. He cast a glance at the kitchen table where Ash and Kate had looked up from their conversation with Anna. "Maybe you two should head on down to the lab now," he muttered as Gary came into the kitchen with Andrew close behind him, Gary's expression conveying a mixture of annoyance, anger, and something else he couldn't quite place. Andrew, in contrast, looked concerned and slightly distressed; Alex sighed again, he knew exactly what had happened.

Ash and Kate followed Alex's advice and left the room after the two boys entered; Kate left without a word and hardly a backwards glance, confident that Anna would be able to calm down a visibly incensed Gary. Ash hesitated in the entranceway, looking slightly worried; Alex cast him a stern glance, remembering how nosy Ash had been as a child whenever Gary got in trouble, and how annoyed Gary would be with him afterwards for listening in. Anna stood and walked to the back door, leaning against it when Gary started to head in that direction.

"What happened? You were happy less than an hour ago!" Alex exclaimed, looking slightly put out.

Andrew waited until he was sure Kate and Ash were a good way down the hall before stiffly crossing the room to where Gary was currently leaning against the counter looking as though he were trying not to appear as angry as Andrew knew he was. "Arms, now." Andrew demanded, forcing his voice to remain even and calm.

From his position near the stove, Alex could see a strange expression cross over Anna's face while Gary and Andrew missed it: a combination of sudden fury, hurt, and worry all rolled into one expression that drew Alex's attention almost entirely away from Andrew and Gary.

"Now, Gary."

Gary sighed and rolled up the left sleeve of the shirt. "There! Nothing new, are you happy now?"

"No, the other arm too." Instead of rolling up the other sleeve, Gary pulled the shirt over his head, flinging it at Andrew before holding out his arms. Andrew sighed as he inspected Gary's arms, ignoring the way Gary rolled his eyes at him while Alex picked up the black shirt on the floor and handed it back to Gary. "Just because there's nothing new doesn't change anything," he glanced up as May entered the room. "Maybe we should fill in everyone else, would that change anything? Having everyone constantly checking your arms for cuts? Making sure there's nothing sharp in any room that you're in?"

Gary remained silent, glaring at Andrew after tugging the shirt back on.

"What's going on?" May asked calmly, taking in the scene before her.

"Gary came very close to cutting himself again." Andrew replied flatly. "I'm finished with this, Gary; this isn't going to end like the other times and I'm going to make sure of it. I'm fucking done with being nice, I can't just stand around and know that I can help you while you just shut me the hell out. You want to stop but you're so worried about it being the same as the past times that you hardly try in the first place! You think you can stop by sheer will power? You can't – you need other people!"

"No, I don't, Andrew!"

"Yes, you do, Gary." Anna said quietly, surprising Gary with her sudden voice.

"Both of you stopped on your own, I can do it myself; don't try telling me you didn't screw up the first few times you tried to stop."

"That's not true and you know that! I had my mother and May, Bella, and Michelle, I went through two different therapists just during the time I was trying to quit, not to mention medication and the fact that I had other friends at that time. And as far as screwing up goes, yeah, I did, but not as bad as you've been doing these past few years – and, yes, I know about that! Andrew told me…" The hurt in Anna's voice quickly abated Gary's anger, turning it to guilt.

"I had other people too, Gary – remember, I was friends with everyone up in Sinnoh back then –"

"Not everyone."

"Shut up," Andrew sighed in response to Gary's interruption. "I'm trying to make a point here. The point is, I had friends helping me and my grandparents got me a therapist. Anna and I had more issues than you do, so I doubt it needs to come to that point with you but you do need to talk to people – we've seriously been over that so many times. Why in the _hell_ are you so incapable of listening when people tell you that?"

"You're not the only one in your group of friends that has had to deal with this, Gary. I think you've heard it from Andrew and Anna so many times that you're just not listening –"

"I am listening, Alex! I'm done with it, I've already told both of you that!" Gary exclaimed, gesturing to Anna and May.

May opened her mouth to speak but Andrew found his voice before she did. "You've told them this but I remember back in June when you swore you were finished –"

"I remember that too." Alex pitched in.

"And I know that you want to stop, but the thing is, you quitting cutting is turning out the same as Jon getting off of drugs when we were younger. He promised and promised and promised and broke every single one of those promises until I got so sick of the broken promises that I stopped letting him make the promises in the first place… I don't want this to turn into that, Gary."

The silence in the room was deafening after Andrew's words and it was a whole minute before Alex spoke up, speaking slowly as though he were carefully picking his words. "I was hoping that it wouldn't come down to this and I really thought that once you had accepted everything then this would be less of a problem – I know it's only been two days, it definitely hasn't been long enough – but what Andrew said proves to me that we're actually going to have to be a bit forceful with this. May, go upstairs and get rid of anything sharp or pointed in the bathrooms in the music room and Gary's room; I think that will be best thing to do for now."

May nodded and turned to leave but not without casting a final apologetic glance at her brother. Andrew and Anna stayed where they were, silently meeting each other's eyes with grim expressions, each knowing exactly where the other was coming from, and each appearing equally determined to make sure that this was the last time something like this happened. Alex pushed himself away from the wall and began walking in the direction of the living room, instructing Gary to follow him. Gary followed obediently, stopping when he passed Anna and leaning in to place a small kiss on her cheek, hurt when she turned her head away from him.

"Please don't look at me as if I've just betrayed you, Anna." He said softly, unable to keep his voice totally devoid of emotion.

"You promised me when you gave me this ring that you would stop cutting, you even threw away the knife. Please don't go back on your word, you've never broken a promise to me before but you just came dangerously close. We'll talk later," she finished as Alex called for Gary from the other room.

Gary sighed, he felt incredibly guilty as Anna's eyes followed him out of the room. Alex called him again as he slowly made his way down the hallway to the living room where Alex was sitting in front of the telephone. "What are you doing?" He asked hesitantly, feeling even more guilty when he saw the tired look in Alex's eyes.

"I'm calling Damien. I think you need to hear from people other than Andrew and Anna that you need to stop shutting people out. I know you're not as close to him as you are to either of them but… I know Damien as I well as I know you and I'm going to trust you to talk to him and not argue with him."

"Why?" Gary demanded warily.

"I just told you that."

Alex picked up the phone and dialed what Gary assumed to be the number for the tiny rental house Damien shared with Shawn and Jon; Jon answered a moment later, appearing on the screen holding his cell phone as though he were sending a text message. He looked mildly worried but not at all surprised when he saw Alex with Gary in the background. Shawn was laying on the couch in the background on Jon's end, reading a book as always.

"Hey, Alex; Andrew just told me what happened." He said, holding up his cell phone in explanation. "I take it you to talk to Damien?"

"Actually, I want Gary to speak with him." Alex replied, glancing at Gary as though to make sure he was still there.

Jon nodded and walked away from the screen, typing on his phone while he called for Damien. Shawn stood and came to the phone while Jon was gone, greeting Gary and Alex in a small voice that seemed subdued even for someone as soft-spoken as Shawn. Alex stepped away from the phone and pulled Gary over to it, placing his hands firmly on his shoulders and forcing him into the seat in front of it.

"Damien just finished working out so he's probably still in the shower," Shawn explained, shaking his white blonde hair out of his face as he pushed his reading glasses up onto the top of his head. "So you got cornered in the kitchen, huh?" He asked and Gary wondered just how much Andrew had managed to tell Jon in the time he had left the room.

"Yes." Gary replied stiffly.

Shawn sighed softly in response. "I remember back in high school when Charlotte tried stopping. She had such a hard time that we had to make a deal that she would only wear short or skirts with low shoes so she couldn't cover the ankle that she cut. You know, whenever she feels like cutting, she runs a piece of ice over her ankle. Says the cold feels similar to a cut, I wouldn't know but maybe it'll help you too." He offered, looking so worried and genuine that Gary felt horrible meeting his pale eyes.

Gary turned his gaze to the beige carpet beneath his feet as Damien appeared behind Shawn with Jon trailing after him. "Thanks, Shawn… I'll try it next time I feel the urge."

"Hey, you haven't done it since September, if you can just make it to March, I'm sure you'll be fine. Charlotte and Damien both said the hardest part was the first six months." Shawn stepped aside as Damien came up behind him, his blue and purple hair wet and hanging around his face and a protein drink in hand.

"What's up, Gary? Hey, Uncle Alex," he greeted calmly. There was a certain tense edge to his voice and a tightness in his broad shoulders that told Gary he wasn't as calm as he appeared to be. The concern in the depths of his green eyes said that Jon had explained at least part of the situation to him.

"Gary needs someone other than Andrew or Anna to talk to him." Alex said softly, lightly gripping Gary's shoulders to hold him in place. "Can I trust you to be nice?" He asked Gary, who nodded meekly in response.

Damien shrugged slightly before pulling a chair from the nearby dining room table and sitting down in it. He waited until Alex had left the room before speaking. "Ok, Gary, I've heard Jon's secondhand telling of Andrew's side; tell me what happened."

--- --- ---

Gary had been on the phone for over an hour with Damien before he finally hung up, feeling nearly overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the past two hours of the day. When Alex had first said he was making Gary talk to Damien, Gary had been slightly confused. He knew Damien had been one of the three people in the group, other than him, who had once had a problem with cutting. Damien had only dealt with it for only two years, having started at fourteen and quitting at sixteen – two years before Gary had moved to Sinnoh. Damien had been living with Alex and Monica at the time, Monica having taken him in once she turned twenty-five, only a little while before Damien's eighth birthday. Gary knew that Charlotte had dealt with it for three years and had almost expected Alex to make him speak with her but, after speaking with Damien, he understood why Alex had called Monica's nephew instead of his slightly crazy friend.

Damien was, in general, a very calm person. He was very stubborn in the way that he was set in his ways but, unlike Gary, he would listen to other people no matter what, staying calm even when insulted but quietly maintaining his own viewpoint. It was impossible to argue with him; you could scream at him and insult him but he would simply ignore any harsh tones or cold words thrown his way and react perfectly calmly. Gary had tried arguing with him over the phone, pretty much repeating everything he had said to Andrew and Anna only to be met with calm and rational replies that wouldn't have been provided by anyone else in response to his stubbornness. And Gary knew that this particularly was Alex's rationale in choosing Damien; Andrew and Anna were both hotheaded and had fiery tempers – arguing with Andrew lead to screaming and physical fighting, arguing with Anna lead to Anna withdrawing from him and doing things to piss him off. May was emotional and, aside from having never personally dealt with cutting, would unintentionally give Gary the guilt trip from hell. Alex tended to slip into what Andrew had once dubbed 'daddy-mode' where he fully showed how much of a father figure he was to Gary – firmly and calmly telling him to drop his attitude and stop arguing, presenting his arguments logically, but seeming to not take Gary's arguments entirely seriously. Out of all of his friends and all of the people close to him, Damien was the one that was not at all fazed by Gary's argumentative nature; he seemed to take in Gary's replies and actually take them seriously while showing him a reasonable way to see things.

He had listened to Gary's side of the story and, despite agreeing with what everyone had said, he understood Gary's annoyance as well as his feelings of guilt, frustration, and worry. He didn't say very many things that Gary hadn't heard before – stop shutting people out, find a better way to achieve that release, accept the fact that he couldn't do it on his own, realize that he _could_ do it…

There was one different thing that Damien had said that no one else had told him: believe in himself, as cheesy as it sounded. Damien had pointed at that Gary was an extremely determined and stubborn person and that he could use that to his advantage, he just needed to put all of his determination into actively quitting as opposed to stubbornly ignoring it.

Standing with a soft sigh, Gary wandered up to his room and laid down on the bed next to his napping umbreon. He lay there for a few minutes, thinking over what had happened in the kitchen. Part of him was deeply annoyed by Alex and Andrew's interference but a huge part of him was immensely grateful that other people cared enough to even do it. Suddenly feeling the urge to go outside, he walked over to his dresser where he had tossed his sweatshirt at some point the day before. As he picked it up, a small piece of paper fluttered to the floor. Gary pulled on the sweatshirt, smiling when he noticed that it smelled of May's vanilla-scented body spray; she had most likely sprayed it when she was in his bathroom earlier, knowing how relaxing he found the smell of vanilla to be. He picked up the paper and leaned against the dresser, recognizing May's neat script that was eerily similar to his own.

_Gary – my amazing, sweet, annoying little brat of a brother_

_I would just tell you this but I thought that if I wrote it down, you could put it somewhere safe and read it whenever you're feeling down. First of all – I love you, I love you, I love you! Always remember that because it's true (even when you're being a pain in the ass). I know that you can get past any obstacle in your way, even what you're going through right now. We both know that you've been through hell, especially this past year, but what you might not realize is what a wonderful person it has turned you into: you've become so much stronger and more understanding and loving, (not to mention handsome and mature) and I love you even more for it. I have seen you go through so many changes just in these past few months that it amazes me and I can't wait to see you in a few months when you're past this. I know you're going through a really hard spot right now – things have to get worse before they can get better and what's going on right now is the worst of it, just hang in there awhile longer and everything will be fine. You're already getting better and things are only going to keep getting better, there will be hard times but you'll get through them just fine in the end._

_No matter what happens, you'll always have me by your side with Anna and Alex and everyone else – you have so many people on your side, remember that. I'm proud of you and I know Grandpa and Alex are too and Mommy and Daddy would be if they could see you now._

_Love always,_

_May_

She had kissed the paper next to her signature, leaving behind an impression of her lips in a pale pink lipstick. Gary read the short letter several times over, letting his sister's loving words sink in as he lightly fingered the edge of the paper. He finally folded it tenderly and placed it on top of the dresser while he pulled open one of the top drawers and pulled out a wooden box with an ornate treble clef engraved on top. He opened it to reveal cherished photographs of his friends and family as well as ticket stubs from concerts and various small items that were meaningful to him; May's letter was carefully placed atop the contents before he gently closed it and put it back in the drawer. Gary left the room quietly, leaving the door open for Umbreon to leave as she pleased before heading down the hall to May's room. Her door was closed halfway and, pushing it open, Gary found her curled up on her bed sleeping soundly.

Gary crossed the room silently and gazed down at her, admiring how beautiful she was as she slept deeply. She looked almost angelic in her sleep – a sad seraphim whose melancholy only made her more beautiful. Gary assumed that everything happening in the past few days had exhausted her; it had exhausted him but he had slept so much recently that he was incapable of sleeping any more.

He pressed a small kiss against her cheek. "Thank you," he whispered, gently pushing her hair away from her face. May barely stirred as he tugged the comforter around her before leaving the room and quietly closing the door behind him.

He stood in the hallway for a moment, trying to decide what to do next: he could go outside, which had been his original plan; find Andrew and Tracey and go out someplace with them, as had been his plan earlier in the day; hang out with Anna; or go down to the lab by Ash and Kate. For some reason, nothing seemed particularly alluring to him at the moment except going outside. Still, he turned and headed in the direction of Anna's room, gently pushing the cracked door open and pausing in the doorway.

Anna was sitting on her bed, leaning against the headboard with her knees drawn up and a book resting on them while she read. She glanced up at Gary as the door opened and eyed him warily as he crossed the room to the bed and sat on the edge of it. She turned back to her book without a word.

"I thought I'd let you know I'm going outside for a bit," Gary explained, sighing when she didn't respond. "What are you reading?" Anna silently held up the book and Gary was tempted to pull it away from her to make her turn her attention to him. "Lovecraft… _Call of Cthulhu_?" She nodded and then resumed ignoring him. "Anna, can you please stop reading for a minute?"

Anna sighed dramatically and snapped the book shut, tossing it onto her nightstand and glaring at Gary.

"What are you so mad at me for? I know I promised that I would stop and I have, I'm still having a hard time with it and I _didn't do anything_. You being mad isn't going to change what happened and it isn't going to help matters."

Anna was silent for several minutes. "I'm thinking of going over to my mother's house for a few days, Gary." She finally said softly.

"What? Anna, why?"

"Gary, this is really hard on me –"

"And how do you think it is for me?" Gary demanded.

"Gary, I need to talk to my mother and spend some time with her."

"Yeah, and we said we would go over there on Christmas –"

"That's not what I meant," Anna interrupted. "I want to talk to her about everything going on."

"Anna, if you want to go talk to your mom, I'm not going to stop you but leaving and staying over there is only going to make things worse."

"You don't understand…"

"What's there to not understand? Anna, think about it! You've been through this before and you know how hard it is – you just said down in the kitchen that I need other people to help me, how helpful is it going to be if my girlfriend, my best friend in the world, suddenly leaves me completely alone?"

"You weren't there for me when I was trying to stop, Gary."

"That's bullshit and you know it, Anna – you never told me anything that was going on until after I'd been home for two months! Two years later! I know I was in Sinnoh but you could have at least _told_ me what was going on; all the times we talked online or over the phone, you couldn't have taken a minute to tell me what was going on? You shut me out more than I've ever shut you out; me not being there for you was entirely your own fault! I need you and you know it – things aren't the way they were years ago, things have changed completely. If you walk out now, it's over completely: the relationship, the friendship, everything. And how do you think that's going to end? I promised you I would stop and I haven't broken that promise yet, but I can't guarantee that I'll be able to keep it if you leave even for a few days. That promise goes both ways you know, I can't keep it without your help."

"I need to talk to her, Gary."

"Then talk to her! I'll even drive you over there, you can spend a few hours with her but leaving to stay over there is completely ditching me when I need you most. That's not what friends do and that's not what girlfriends do. Think about it; I'll be outside if you need me." Gary stood and stormed out of the room, closing the door behind him and stalking down the hallway towards the stairs.

Stepping off of the porch and into the yard, Gary could see Ash and Kate hanging out with Tracey and Andrew near the pool; sighing softly, Gary headed towards the trees.

**--- --- ---**

**::Author's Notes::**

Since most of the Sinnoh characters have gone back home, I have to ask, does anyone have any guess as to which of those OCs was very heavily based on me?

Foreverblue90 – Thanks!!

Arch-trainer – It was interesting to read what you said about which character matches you because, as far as specialties go, Andrew is my closest match for the same reasons you said. Chelsea is one of the closest matches to me, personality wise because she was loosely based on me originally (that kind of changed though). I'm glad you liked the way I did that chapter over again. Your question about commitment -Gary is most definitely terrified of it. Gary getting sick was one of those things where you get so nervous or scared that it all turns physical, his initial headache was one of those stress things though. I'm glad his reaction to Alex's presence was realistic for a male character, we chicks just cry whenever the hell we feel like it no matter who's there, so I'm not entirely familiar with how to convey male emotions without having that female edge to it. :)


	32. Chapter 32: Interference Part 2

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 32: Interference Part 2

Gary wandered aimlessly amongst the trees, walking only to escape the house and the problems that it seemed to contain. The sound of his constant and steady footfalls gave him a feeling of comfort as his pace was something he was capable of controlling – one of the reasons he enjoyed running – and it was something he needed. Lately it seemed as though so many parts of his life were beyond his control that he was finding it difficult to take hold of his life and turn it in the direction he longed to head in. It seemed to Gary that change was close but just barely beyond his reach; it was there, he knew it, but reaching it was far more difficult than he had anticipated. It frustrated him to know that it had seemed just this morning, or early afternoon, that things were finally starting to turn for him and then everything had changed drastically and far too quickly for him to process or comprehend entirely when his mood had suddenly and dramatically changed this afternoon. He knew that he had injured Anna's trust in him, that he had pushed Andrew beyond a limit that he hadn't realized existed, and that he had disappointed Alex in some way. These three realizations stung and filled him with regret and shame.

He was so preoccupied with meandering through the forest that it came as a surprise when he reached the wrought iron fence. He sighed, running his hands over the cold metallic surface and wondering how he had been so out of it that he had nearly walked into the fence before he had even noticed it. He walked along it to the archway and pushed open the gate.

Gary slowly walked to the two gravestones he had kneeled before on Tuesday and stared down at them. "This fucking sucks." He declared after a few moments, running his hands through his hair and walking past the graves to the tree in the center of the cemetery. He pulled himself up onto a low branch and leaned against the trunk with his knees drawn up to his chest. He sat there for a long time, mulling over everything with his eyes closed until he heard the squeal of the gate once more.

"What are you doing here?" Gary asked Alex, rolling his eyes when he saw Alex look around for him in the fading light. "Over here, Alex."

Alex looked over at the tree and smiled as he walked over. "You always did like climbing trees," he said, resting his arms on the low branch. "I didn't think I'd find you out here, Gary."

"You still didn't answer my question."

Alex sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before speaking. "Back when I lived in town, I would come out here whenever I felt like I needed some time to myself and, lately, I've been stressed about everything that's happened this week."

"I guess I've pretty much disappointed everyone this time around." Gary muttered.

"I wouldn't say that… It's just hard for us to sit around and see you going through this, especially when we have to fight with you just to make you listen." Alex groaned softly and paused for a moment. "To be honest, I was kind of hoping to find you out here. I wanted to talk to you alone for a few minutes."

"What about?"

"Well, for starters, I wanted to apologize; Tuesday was rough for you and it was the last thing I wanted to do was push you into –"

"I needed it, Alex." Gary said flatly.

"I know that. I also know that today needed to happen and here I am apologizing for it. Look, we all care about you, you _know _this… We all want you to help you get better but we can't do that if you push us away."

Despite the gentle tone, Gary could clearly hear Alex's exasperation over the entire situation. "What, do you think I actually enjoy this? I hate it, Alex! I wish I wasn't like this – "

"Then do something about it, Gary." Alex interrupted, placing a hand on Gary's leg and fixing him with an even gaze. "Nothing is going to come out of you sitting around wishing and hating, you have to work at it. Everything worth having needs work."

Gary sighed and shook his head, swatting Alex's hands away and standing carefully on the thick branch before jumping down to the ground. "I'm done, Alex," he muttered, ducking under the tree branch and pushing past Alex to stalk towards the gate.

"Gary…"

"I meant that I'm done with this conversation." Gary snapped as he paused before the gate.

Alex sighed and watched Gary open the gate with a violent shove. "Which means you're running away," he said softly. "Do we really mean that little to you, Gary? Andrew and Anna were both very upset after –"

"I don't want to hear it." Gary let the gate slam behind him.

Alex remained next to the tree, silently fuming over Gary's attitude. He sighed again after a moment, wondering what had changed Gary's mood so suddenly; his mood had been drastically different after talking to Damien. Alex had noticed how thoughtful and subdued Gary had seemed when he wandered up the stairs afterwards. He hadn't been upstairs for a very long time, perhaps a half hour at most… There wasn't much that could happen in that short of a time frame

--- --- ---

Gary froze in the doorway to his bedroom. "Why the _fuck_ can't anyone just leave me the hell alone today?" He exclaimed angrily, glaring at the girl sitting on his bed with her black bag at her feet.

Anna winced at his tone, taken aback by how harsh his words had been. Her expression hardened slightly as she glared at Gary with her jaw set. "That was entirely uncalled for, Gary," she said, trying to force the anger and hurt out of her voice. "We need to talk and if you're not willing to do that, then you're not mature enough for this relationship."

Gary groaned and dropped on to the bed. He was still angry with Anna as a result of their earlier argument and, though he wanted to make up with her, he had little desire to be near her at that particular junction in time.

"I admit that I was out of line when I said that you weren't there for me and you were right when you said that I shut you out." Anna spoke softly but slowly, carefully thinking over her words and making sure there was no way for Gary to turn them against her. "I was being immature in my room and I'm sorry for that, but you hardly gave me a chance to speak and you jumped to conclusions and blew up on me. I know how stressful these past few days have been for you and I know that this is the hardest part of… the cutting situation… When you've already gone a few months without it and that itch keeps getting worse and it seems like there's no end in sight." Anna paused and Gary finally turned his head to look at her; finally someone other than Damien was actually talking about it, rather than lecturing him and saying that they knew what he was going through. Now that Anna was describing it, Gary could feel something stirring in him at the sound of pain in her voice. "I understand what you said about me leaving for a few days and that's not what I'm doing, I'll get to that in a minute… When I said I need to talk to my mom, I meant I need some time to have a serious girly talk with her and by 'time' I mean several hours. I was thinking of staying there for a few days so that I could have some time to myself to just think and… the word 'realign' is coming to mind… I must be listening to too much Godsmack lately." She smiled at Gary, hoping to see some reaction to her tiny attempt at a joke. Her heart soared when a small halfhearted smile tugged at the corner of Gary's mouth and she returned to her serious mood once more. "We talked a few months ago, after Michelle's birthday party, and I told you I've been changing a lot; thinking about going to school and all that. That's what I need to think about, Gary – what I want to do with my life. Right now I'm just a high school dropout who's been from doctor to doctor for years, I was always that weird girl in high school… that's not who I am and it's not what I want to spend my life being."

"I understand that but – "

"Gary," Anna's tone held a certain edge that told him he'd better keep quiet. "I'm telling you this because I think you need it too. You've been constantly busy your whole life between training and researching and school; I know you constantly planned ahead with training, what city to head to next, which pokemon to train more, what team to have, etcetera, etcetera. I'm sure it was the same with school and, to some extent, research. But what about _you_? Life isn't just about school or a career: it's about relationships and friends and having responsibilities, there needs to be a balance between all of that. Haven't you ever put any thought into what you really want out of life? After our first time you told me your dreams… But none of them included a girlfriend or a wife or any sort of family, none of them included where you wanted to live or how you wanted to live; it was all career sort of stuff! Gary, I know you're more serious and mature than most people our age but honestly! I know there's more to you than that." She looked at him with a soft look in her eyes, as though she were begging him to understand what she was saying.

Gary flopped back against the pillows with a small sigh, startling the sleeping umbreon awake. Umbreon shifted her position enough to curl against Gary's side before going back to sleep while her trainer avoided Anna's eyes. "What are you saying?"

"Basically to grow up… It's what we both need to do. What you really need is time alone to deal with everything going on; you haven't really been alone the past few times and it's probably stressing you out and only making things worse." Anna gave him a wry smile and reached out to grasp Gary's chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. "I need you to listen to this next part – and I mean actually _listening_, Gary. I'm going over to my mother's house for awhile. I might spend the night there, it depends on how much time we spend talking, but I will only spend tonight there. I'll call you later and let you know what I'm doing tonight and, if I do spend the night, I'll call you in the morning too. Can you live with this?" Gary nodded silently, still a bit miffed that she was leaving, even if it was for less than twenty-four hours. "Good, because that wasn't exactly very negotiable," to her surprise, Gary laughed at this. "While I'm gone I want you to, first, eat something because your blood sugar is probably low, which is probably putting you in a bad mood. More than that though, I want you to take a few minutes alone to think about everything that's been going on today; don't dwell on the negative things, just think about it. I want you to have fun with Andrew – he's leaving on Monday you know – hang out with Tracey and Ash and just get your mind off of everything for awhile. Just spend the weekend with them; go to the mall, have some battles, just have fun… I'll be here at the house most of the time but I'm going to leave you guys alone, unless you really want me to. Once Andrew leaves, I want you to take a few days to yourself and… just do some soul-searching, ok?"

"Yeah," Gary agreed sullenly; Anna was speaking so reasonably that it was impossible for him not agree with her.

"Good, I'll see you tomorrow sometime. Bye, babe." Anna stood, slung her small messenger bag over her shoulder, and leaned over Umbreon to give Gary a small kiss on the cheek before she turned and started walking to the door.

"Wait," Gary stood and quickly followed her. "Before you go, I'm sorry… for everything. Really."

Anna smiled sadly and placed a hand against his cheek. "I know," she said softly, gazing up into his troubled eyes. "So much has happened in a week," she murmured, moving her hand around to the back of his neck and pulling him closer to her. Gary hesitantly lowered his head and tentatively brushed his lips against hers, slowly wrapping his arms around her as he felt her return the kiss. Anna pulled away suddenly and leaned against his chest. "Please make this work, Gary." She whispered, burying her face against his sweatshirt.

"It'll work; just give me some time and I promise everything will be fine." Gary assured her, holding her tight against his chest. Anna nodded weakly and allowed him to hold her like that for a long while, listening to his soft promises and reassurances was a great comfort that she hated to leave, but it was getting late and she had already told her mother she would be there soon.

"I have to go," Anna said as she pulled away. "Have fun tonight, you need it. I'll talk to you later."

Gary watched Anna go and sighed as the door closed behind her, leaving him alone and unsure of how he felt. Turning, he saw Umbreon watching him intently, as though she were fully aware of the situation he had been in since Tuesday afternoon. He laid down on the bed and spent several minutes tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position before standing up once more and wandering over to the piano and sitting down on the bench. He contemplated the keys for a moment before playing for the first time since Tuesday morning. With his mind on other things, his fingers instinctively traced out scales and arpeggios, casually switching into melodies before flowing back into the scales and arpeggiated key changes. He didn't know how long he had been playing before there was a soft knock at the door, he frowned slightly but called for the person to come in. The door opened and closed quietly behind him as someone entered; basing judgment on the quiet entry, Gary figured it was someone other than Andrew.

"Monica and Kate picked up take-out," Alex informed him quietly from behind him. "Vegetable fried rice, no mushrooms, extra broccoli and carrots; just the way you like it… And the way a nidoran would eat it."

Gary smiled despite himself and nodded in acknowledgement. "Recognize it?" He asked, playing a new melody on the piano.

Alex laughed and walked closer until he stood next to the piano and watched Gary play. It was something Gary and Andrew did to Alex often in Sinnoh: play some random song on one of their instruments and see if Alex could guess the song. He usually couldn't name the song despite how familiar they often were. "It sounds like a guitar part."

"It has a guitar going along with it."

"I don't know, Gary…"

Gary scoffed and shook his head. "_You_ used to play the guitar part when I was little and –"

"Jeremy would play it on piano – Symphony X, Out Of The Ashes. You have your father's taste in music; you know, if he hadn't died so soon after this album came out, he would've probably gone to all the concerts with you and your friends. And I'm sure _he_ would be the one buying you drinks instead of Chris while Alice would be the one yelling at you instead of me."

"I haven't heard you say their names since…"

Alex cut him off before he could say it. "I know. I guess seeing you making progress with it is helping me get over it enough to say their names. You're not the only one to have a hard time with it, Gary; imagine how your grandfather felt, losing his only son and his daughter-in-law _and_ suddenly becoming the main guardian for you and your sister… Not to mention –"

"Shoving an IV into my arm, I know."

"You remember that?"

"It's one of the few things I remember from those two years… Anyways, you said Monica got dinner?"

Alex nodded and smoothed the sweatshirt over Gary's shoulders. "Do you know where May is?"

"Dead asleep when I saw her earlier."

"That's not surprising, these past few days have been very exhausting for her." Alex replied solemnly, frowning at Gary's sigh. "What's up?"

"Nothing… I'm just… sorry for being such a burden on everyone."

"You're not a burden, stop thinking like that. If you actually were a burden, do you think I'd be bothering you all day? Did you find May's note?"

Gary frowned at the sudden change in subject. "Yeah," he said, standing and walking away from the piano.

"I assume you read it, she showed me it after she wrote it. Do you still think you're a burden after reading that? She loves you… We all do; don't you remember what I told you last week? I consider you my son, maybe not biologically, but that's beside the point – I love you like a son and I'll do whatever I can to make sure you never have to cut yourself again."

"And how do you plan on doing that when you're in Sinnoh and I'm here in Pallet?"

"I'm not going back to Pastoria for another two weeks and I'll be visiting often when I do go back, so you'll be seeing a lot of me, though I'm sure you're pretty sick of seeing me today. Come on, what you need right now is food and some time to hang out with your friends before Andrew goes home; follow Anna's advice."

"How do you know –"

"I know everything, Gary," Alex interrupted as Gary followed him into the hallway. "I am omnipresent, you know: the alpha and the omega, the almighty –"

"More like total idiot and geek."

"Watch who you're calling a geek, you _are_ the one that got straight A's at school… or nearly straight A's, anyway."

"You shut up, I'm still pissed at you for that B! How could you not round that up to a ninety, Alex? That completely ruined my perfect GPA," Gary complained, remembering his poor grade in the microbiology class that Alex taught at the university.

"You had an eighty-six, I can't round up that many points and you know that! Besides, you had missed two weeks of classes before that second exam, I'm amazed you even passed it and managed a B in that class. And it wasn't the only grade to bring down your GPA – remember anatomy? You _failed_ the lab and _barely_ scraped by with a B in that one."

"And I am now totally ignoring you." Gary declared as they entered the kitchen to find everyone else, minus May, Kate, and Anna, already digging into their food.

Alex laughed softly as Gary sat down between Andrew and Ash and pulled the remaining box of food towards him. He waited until the three adults had left the room before turning to Ash and Tracey and striking up a conversation. After only a few minutes, the four teens were talking loudly and laughing with each other; over an hour later, Gary realized that Anna had been right: this _was_ what he needed most.

**--- --- ---**

**::Author's Notes::**

Anna's Godsmack comment: Realign is the name of a Godsmack song that kind of reflects Anna's state of mind in this chapter.

As for Alex's comment on a nidoran's preference for vegetable fried rice… has anyone ever noticed the resemblance a male nidoran from red/blue or fire red/leaf green bares to a guinea pig? Any guinea pig owner knows (or should know!) how much they loooooove broccoli and carrots! So that would be a little guinea piggie reference… As a side note on some of the eevee evolutions that Gary's friends have (and guinea pigs): Charlotte's espeon Eva and her umbreon Luna are named after my two guinea pigs and Tim's umbreon Apollo is named after one of my boyfriend/unofficial fiancée's two guinea pigs. I need to find a pokemon to name after his other guinea pig that way he doesn't get annoyed whenever he's finally allowed to read this…


	33. Chapter 33: Reinstated Friendship

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 33: Reinstated Friendship

Gary couldn't remember ever seeing the attic in such absolute disarray… nor so inviting, for that matter. Boxes that had once been neatly stacked and sealed along the walls were dragged out and opened, their contents scattered across the dusty wooden floor. The baby grand piano that sat off in the corner was now uncovered, the dust-coated sheet that had covered it was thrown haphazardly on the floor. An old record player that had once belonged to his mother was now set up atop the instrument, loudly playing an Ozzy record that Andrew had found. The shelves of records had been raided until the four boys had created a stack to listen to, ranging from Boston to Iron Maiden to Journey to Twisted Sister. The enormous mahogany trunk that was near the door had been opened and searched until the floor surrounding it was covered in nearly forgotten toys: light sabers, swords, children's books, a purple fairy wand that Gary and Ash had spent ten minutes arguing over whether it had been Kate's or May's.

At some point during dinner, Ash had randomly asked Gary if he still had the toys the two boys had played with when they were younger. Gary had admitted that he hadn't the slightest idea and Tracey then suggested they check the attic and now, two hours later, here they were in the attic, digging through the treasured items that brought back fun memories of happier times. Umbreon was laying beneath the piano, where her yellow rings glowed and he red eyes gleamed in the darkness beneath the slightly out of tune instrument. Ash's pikachu and Tracey's marill were bouncing on a small trampoline that Tracey had noticed tucked behind several boxes; the find had been followed by a long story from Ash involving a broken tooth, a bunch of blood, and a lot of trouble on Gary's part. Andrew had made a comment about Gary being a violent child and received a laugh from Ash. "Where do you think I got it from?" Gary exclaimed, pointing at Ash. The exclamation had led to a friendly argument which, in turn, led to the two boys fighting with toy light sabers. They were still playfully wielding their weapons while Tracey and Andrew continued to paw through the large chest.

Andrew suddenly gave a triumphant whoop of joy and pulled a plastic horned Viking helmet, which he immediately put on before returning to the trunk only to pull out a small plastic battle axe, which he swung around blindly until he accidentally hit Tracey with it. Tracey yelped in pain loud enough to distract Ash; he laughed when Gary took advantage of Ash's lapse in attention and drew his light saber across Ash's stomach. Ash looked at Gary with surprise before moaning and falling to the floor as though he had been defeated while Tracey began eagerly digging through the trunk in search for his own weapons. Andrew left Tracey searching and ran over to Gary, engaging him in a fierce faux-battle involving shouts of Finnish curses while they stepped around and over Ash, who was still in the middle of a dramatic rendition of the throes of dying. He seemed to miraculously come back to life when Gary snatched up his light saber and began dueling Andrew with two weapons, much to Andrew's indignation.

"Help me out here, Tracey!" Ash called to his friend as he leapt to his feet and scooped up a sword while Tracey threw a pirate hat to him. He pulled the small hat on over his messy hair and joined Andrew; it hadn't been long before Gary had swapped the two light sabers for a sword and took Ash out of the battle, leaving the boy to lay on the floor laughing at the other two.

After several more minutes, Andrew finally knocked the sword out of Gary's hand and the two teens wrestled each other to the floor.

"I conquer you, bitch!" Andrew declared as he pinned Gary beneath him and fixed him with a triumphant smirk.

"Not so fast, you barbarian idiot," Gary hissed, shoving Andrew off of him, knocking the horned helmet from Andrew's head to the floor. "And, now, I conquer you." He grinned down at Andrew, grasping a handful of blonde hair as he leaned down and pressed a playful, rough kiss against Andrew's mouth. "Sealed with a kiss, darling; you're my bitch now." A hand suddenly grasped his hair and pulled his head back.

"He's my bitch, go get your own!" Tracey's voice teased from behind him as the smooth plastic of a toy sword ran across Gary's throat.

"Holy Odin, you're fucking heavy!" Andrew cried as Gary dropped onto him, feigning death.

Andrew laughed, pushed Gary off of him, and bounced back to his feet, grabbing his battle axe once more. Umbreon crawled out from under the piano and slunk over to her fallen trainer; after sniffing his hand, she determined he was fine and climbed over him, stepping on his stomach as she did so. Gary groaned loudly and pushed the canine off of him, earning a soft growl and several licks to the face. "Stop, Umbreon! I'm supposed to be dead!" He laughed, glancing up to see Ash staring at him with a strange expression. Umbreon returned to the piano as Gary stood and walked over to where Ash was sitting on the floor a few feet away from the vast instrument. He snickered as he watched Andrew and Tracey chase each other across the huge room; Andrew having pulled his Viking helmet back on and Tracey having finally pulled a small, plastic, and entirely useless Roman gladiator style shield and sword out of the box. He could feel Ash's gaze on him the entire time.

"What?" Gary finally asked, turning away from the scene before them to coolly meet his friend's eyes.

"You just kissed a guy in front of me and you ask me 'what'?" Ash asked incredulously. Gary shrugged in response, having not thought of what Ash's reaction to his own actions would be. "You have a girlfriend!"

"Which really brings down the likelihood of me being gay, doesn't it?"

"Christ," Ash groaned, throwing his head back in agitation before turning back to face Gary again. "Just drop the walls around me, Gary! I thought we were past this!" He exclaimed.

Gary didn't respond as he watched Tracey and Andrew wrestle on the floor until Tracey wrenched the axe out of Andrew's hand and pinned him with a grin. Judging by the smile on Andrew's face, Gary assumed that the blonde boy had allowed Tracey to pin him.

"Hey, that's not what's supposed to happen! I'm supposed to kill you and raid your territory – remember the fall of the Roman Empire?"

"The invasions were by the Goths, Andrew." Gary reminded him.

"Goths, Vikings; who cares? They're all from Scandinavia!" Andrew replied cheerfully while Tracey held his shoulders against the wooden floorboards, glancing back and forth between Andrew and Gary with an amused expression on his face.

"Whatever," Gary said flatly, turning to the piano and playing something bouncy-sounding. He barely noticed Ash's exasperated sigh.

Andrew laughed. "Good call!"

"Key?"

"It's happy-sounding: gotta be a major key."

Gary nodded slightly. "But which one?"

Andrew thought for a long moment, trying to identify the notes while ignoring Gary's smirk. "B major?" He knew it was the wrong answer when Gary laughed and played the chord for the key he had named.

"Still think so?" Gary asked sardonically, knowing that Ash was frowning at him for changing the subject and then ignoring him.

"It must be A then."

"Isn't that Therion?" Tracey asked suddenly.

Andrew turned his head back to Tracey with a proud smile replacing his thoughtful expression. "Good boy!" He exclaimed, patting Tracey on the head and scowling playfully when Tracey slapped his hand away.

As Andrew returned his full attention to Tracey, Gary sighed and shoved the dusty white sheet off of the piano bench before sitting down. Annoyed and slightly confused, Ash watched the two teens tease each other for another moment and then turned his body until he was facing Gary entirely.

"You can stop leering at me now."

"Funny," Ash began slowly. "I always thought I'd be the one to say that."

"Things have changed."

"No, really?" Ash asked sarcastically. "Way to point out the obvious, Gary." Gary frowned slightly, eyeing Ash with confusion; he didn't see what the boy had to be so moody about. "Look, it's just that since I'm home for a few months and we've been getting along really well over the past few years, and now you've moved home, I was hoping to have my old friend back… I mean, I get it, you've changed a lot but so have I! So have Kate and Tracey but… I don't know, just forget it."

Gary groaned and dropped his head into his hands. "This is the last thing I need right now," he muttered before raising his head enough to meet Ash's eyes. "Ash, a lot has changed for me in the past year – the past four or five months have been really," Gary sighed as he searched for a word, "dramatic." He finally said. "I don't know how much you've been around this week –"

"Dr. Harris told me what was going on," Ash meekly informed him, hoping not to insight Gary's annoyance as he had seemed to often do when they were children.

"So you have an idea of what's been going on." Gary paused, watching over Ash's shoulder as Tracey and Andrew sat on the floor laughing at something Andrew had said. He finally turned his attention back to the younger boy sitting in front of him. "You want to know what that kiss was about?"

"Yeah, I think I deserve an explanation – I was your best friend you know, and I kind of hope I still am." The last part was muttered timidly; Ash knew his friendship had been long since replaced with that of Anna's and, from what he could tell, Andrew.

"Nothing."

"What?" Ash gave him a questioning look.

"Nothing." Gary repeated. "It's sort of a running joke between the two of us, we do it a lot to mess with Andrew's little brother Nik and some of our other friends. It's just an inside joke between two friends: that's how I can kiss him when I have a girlfriend. It's not like I'm cheating on Anna by doing it – I wouldn't do that to her."

"But you did it to Kate."

"How do you know about?" Gary asked suspiciously.

"She's _my_ friend too, she told me about it. She said you felt really bad about it, so I never brought it up, even though it _did_ piss me off."

Gary nodded, slightly surprised by the harsh glare Ash sent his way. "I can tell." He said flatly. "I never meant for that to happen though, you know me better than that. And you know when I'm lying, so you know I mean it."

"I do know when you're lying," Ash admitted slowly, not exactly wanting to say or ask what was on the tip of his tongue. "That's how I know that kiss was not 'nothing'. It may be a joke to some extent but that's not _all_ it is, I can tell by your face that I'm right." Gary said nothing and merely met his eyes calmly, his expression was impassive though there was something in his eyes that told Ash he had hit the nail on the head with his assumption. "So… Have I gotten past the ice wall yet?" He asked playfully, glad to see a small smirk similar to a half smile appear on Gary's face.

"Maybe."

Ash laughed and picked up a toy sword that sitting nearby. "Still can't admit defeat, can you?" He asked, poking Gary in the stomach with it.

"That wasn't defeat – stop poking me, dammit! Give me that thing!" They both laughed as Gary yanked the toy from Ash's grip and flung it across the room.

"Aw man, what was that for?" Ash demanded pathetically as he stood and lightly shoved Gary's shoulder.

In a matter of seconds, they were both on the floor pushing and hitting each other between laughs and yelps of pain. Ash pinned Gary eventually, though he suspected the older boy had let him do it, and froze, suddenly aware of the awkwardness of their position with Ash kneeling over Gary's waist and leaning over him as he pinned his wrists to the floor over Gary's head.

"Don't worry, this isn't turning me on in the slightest – I'm not one for scrawny brats like you." Gary teased, sensing the reasoning behind Ash's sudden discomfort before fidgeting his hands out of the other boy's grip. He pinned Ash somewhat easily and leaned over him with a taunting grin. "You know, from this angle, you're kind of cute, Ashy-boy." His laugh turned into a groan as Ash punched his arm. "Maybe not so scrawny…" Gary conceded as he rubbed the spot on his arm that would most likely be bruised the next morning.

"Remember, you may be bi but that doesn't mean I am!" Ash told him, grunting as he received an elbow to the stomach.

"Whoever said I was anything other than straight?"

"Ow! What is it with you and pulling hair?" Ash yelped, punching the closest part of Gary he could reach. "No one had to say anything, actions speak louder than words, you know."

"Yeah, yeah; clichés aside, seriously, how do you know that?" Gary asked, still grasping a handful of messy black hair and holding Ash's head back as he held his other arm lightly across Ash's throat.

"Tracey may have insinuated it – ow! What the heck?" He rubbed his head where it had hit the floor when Gary relinquished his grip unexpectedly.

"Seriously?"

Ash rolled his eyes. "At your birthday party I heard Anna and Chelsea joking about you, saying something about what your tongue ring is good for," Gary's cheeks darkened in a sudden flush of surprise and embarrassment. "So I asked Tracey what they were talking about and he said something about oral sex – he didn't say anything about you liking guys or whatever, I just kind of figured…"

"Ash, did it ever occur to you that girls can be on the receiving end of oral?" Gary rolled his eyes and shook his head pityingly at Ash's wide eyes and confused look. "Great; not only are you the only straight guy in this room, you're also the only virgin… You know, this could actually be fun; for us that is." He winked playfully at Ash, laughing at his terrified expression.

"What?!"

--- --- ---

Gary ran down the stairs from the attic to the second floor and rushed into the study, closing the door quietly behind to avoid waking Alex and Monica who were sleeping in the next room before answering the ringing telephone. Anna appeared on the screen with a small smile and looking as pretty as ever; her hair was damp and hung around her hair in limp waves as it always did after she got out of the shower, the red long-sleeved shirt was a bit large on her and Gary assumed it was one of his. She was obviously in her old bedroom at her mother's house; the room looked largely the same since he had last seen it, if a bit empty without her massive cd collection, various knickknacks, books, or guitars and amps.

"Hey, babe," he said softly, unable to stop the grin that spread across his face at the sight of her.

"Hey, just thought I'd let you know I'm going to spend the night here. And, I wanted to ask you about tomorrow." She added as an afterthought.

"Before that, let me say something," Gary interjected before Anna could add anything else. "I thought a bit about what we talked about earlier and I realized I was being an idiot," he muttered, avoiding her eyes. "And I'm sorry for that; you can spend as much time as you want with your mother this weekend. It's your life and I shouldn't try controlling it, even if I feel like my own life is falling apart."

Anna smiled slightly at his soft words, thinking he looked rather cute as he avoided her eyes and picked at his sleeve. "I didn't think you were trying to control me, I knew you were just upset over everything. Anyway, Mom's supposed to be going to the spa tomorrow so she's talking to her friend who works there and she's going to get us a nice mother-daughter manicure, pedicure, massage… thing." She laughed softly at Gary's surprised expression. "What?"

"Sorry, I can't imagine you getting your nails done. How are you going to have them done – pink with little hearts on them?"

"If I were there, I would smack you for that." Anna growled as she narrowed her eyes at Gary's teasing laughter. "You'll just have to wait and see how I get my nails done, you little brat," Gary only seemed to laugh harder at this. "Ok, I get it, I'm somehow amusing; you can stop laughing now! Have you been taking my advice?"

Gary sobered from his laughter and nodded. "I've been in the attic with Tracey, Andrew, and Ash for the past three or four hours."

"Yeah? You haven't been cheating on me, have you?" She quirked an eyebrow at Gary's pseudo-innocent look.

"I may or may not have kissed Andrew."

"Gary! You kissed another guy without me there to supervise? Come on, a girl's gotta get off somehow – hey, don't laugh at my fantasies; I have blackmail material stories, you remember that." She laughed with Gary at her own comments. "Was this in front of Ash?"

"Yeah, we had a bit of a talk after that."

"Tell him any lies?"

"Not really," Gary replied evasively.

Anna raised her eyebrows but didn't push the subject when Gary remained quiet. "Ok, I trust you. Are Tracey and Andrew dating yet?"

Gary laughed at the question; Anna had begun asking that particular question at least once a day for the past few days since the scene the two boys had made in the music room. "Not yet," he paused with a small frown as a thought occurred to him. "Hey, have you seen Rachael at all since you've been home?" He assumed the answer from Anna's uncomfortable expression before she even responded verbally.

"She looks terrible." Anna informed him solemnly with a small nod. "Mom's pretty worried about her, it seems like everything has finally caught up with her – you know, the shit from childhood," Gary noticed a definite bitterness in her tone. "All the animosity between us, the crap between her and the prissy little harpies she calls friends, and then losing your friendship. Other than that and losing a good fifteen pounds," she smiled grimly at Gary's suddenly surprised and worried expression. "she's doing pretty good. She's playing flute in the orchestra at her school now, which I guess is pretty big. I don't know, I feel kind of bad for her but I'm still pissed about everything she's done to me."

"Understandable," Gary replied softly, wondering what on earth was going on with Anna's younger twin who had once been such good friends with him.

"I did masturbate on her bed and steal a music book though." Anna joked cheerfully, laughing at the look that passed over Gary's face.

"Alright, I think you may have lost your mind at some point this afternoon... But I miss you and I hope you have a good time tomorrow; I think I might go to the mall with Andrew tomorrow so I don't know when I'll see or talk to you then."

The couple spoke for a few more minutes that were highlighted with laughter before Anna got off of the phone to watch some movie with her mother. Gary stared at the blank screen for several moments with his hand still resting on the receiver. He felt disappointed and quite sad when he realized that he wouldn't be seeing those pale features or smelling that enticing scent that belonged to Anna alone when he woke the next day. He forced himself out of the reverie he had fallen into and forced a smile on his face as he remembered he would see her either tomorrow or the next day. Andrew shot him a strange look when he returned to the attic, as though he understood that Gary's smile wasn't true and that his mind was on the girl who wouldn't be gracing his bed that night.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

I hope the opening scene was as much fun to read as it was to write! I thought it would be best to actually depict Gary taking Ann's advice instead of just skipping ahead several days or weeks and I hope it worked out well. That scene a bit of an experiment, similar to my soccer scene way back in chapter 22.

The bouncy song that Gary plays on the piano in the attic after Andrew makes his comment on the Vikings and Goths is the flute part of the Therion song Three Ships of Berik (part 1). The song (aside from being awesome) is about the Gothic tribes invading the Holy Roman Empire, which was one of the things leading to the fall of said empire (I love humanities classes for teaching you these things!).


	34. Chapter 34: Differences Part 1

**Beyond The Walls**

A four chapter update! Yay!

My apologies for yet another delay in updates, there was a reason behind this delay, I swear! I ended up going to South Carolina for a few days to meet my boyfriend's family – which was a bit of a culture shock for me (originally from Long Island, New York; been living in central Florida for fifteen years; raised by a mother from Brooklyn; and incredibly used to constant cable tv and internet access)! Anyways, four days with no internet access, plus Christmas and the busy days leading up to it made it difficult for me to find time to write, much less update.

Chapter 34: Differences

Tracey fell back onto his bed with a small groan as he thought about the last two and a half weeks. It was Monday and Andrew had left to return to Sinnoh for Christmas only a short time earlier and already the house seemed far quieter than it had been in the time the boy had been there. Since Friday night, he'd had a good time with Gary and Andrew; Ash and Kate came over often and would hang out for hours. Ash would come over as soon as he got up, showered, and ate and would then stay well into the night when Gary would drive him home. Kate didn't stay as much as Ash considering she worked six hour shifts at a coffee house in town but, depending on the time, she would get rides from Michelle, Bella, or Gary and would then hang out as late as she could. It seemed as though there was never a moment without laughter or smiles, whether they were out in the woods playing manhunt with May and Michelle, down in the den playing games, at the mall shopping for Christmas gifts, or out in the reserve with the various animals. Despite this, it was strange to be with Gary so much without Anna around as she had spent the entire weekend at her mother's house and had spent time with the other girls in their group of friends rather than with Gary.

It felt strange to be alone in his room and Tracey almost couldn't stand it. For nearly three weeks, he had hardly been in his room for reasons other than sleeping, dressing, or the occasional alone time with Andrew and now he was sitting on the edge of his bed by himself with nothing to do. Nothing to do except think.

He could almost understand how Gary must have felt with Anna in one hand and himself in the other, in a more literal way than he wanted to consider. He had feelings for Gary, there was no way to deny it so he didn't even try to, yet Gary's words from Friday constantly ran through his head.

"_I think I'm in love with Anna."_

The way Gary had said it confused Tracey to no end and left him wanting to comfort Gary in some way. His voice had been laced with so many emotions when we uttered those seven words: confusion, fear, longing, acceptance, and, strangely, a touch of sadness. Tracey couldn't shake the nearly-terrified look that had been in those normally piercing eyes when Gary had said it.

In truth, he had no means to understand the way Gary felt currently, but the way the younger teen had felt only about three months ago – he could certainly understand that now. It was that torn feeling; surely it had been worse with Gary, who was still uncomfortable with his sexuality, who had intense feelings for Anna, who had little experience with relationships, and who had a deep history with the afore mentioned girl. Tracey on the other hand, was confident in his sexuality and had been for years; he'd been in relationships of varying lengths, he had strong feelings for Gary… and then there was Andrew.

Andrew was the one thing that seemed to erase thoughts of that stubborn, sarcastic, and… wonderful friend of his that was currently down the hall playing a keyboard loudly. It was Andrew that he had this bizarre attraction to; it was strange when he thought about it, after all, he had only met Andrew less than two months ago! And yet, there was this attraction that was vastly different to the one he had with Gary.

That was the thing with Andrew though – he was different. Granted, he was very similar to Gary in personality, except Gary was more subdued and forced the playful and talkative side of himself into submission. Despite their similarities, the differences were vast between the two boys that Tracey was torn between. The physical differences were obvious and numerous: Andrew was taller and skinnier while Gary's build was slightly stockier with the light but defined musculature of a runner. Andrew's hair was longer than Gary's and had a slight wave that nearly escaped notice unless it was compared to Gary's straight hair; it was almost funny how tangled Andrew's long hair seemed to get no matter what was going on while Gary's generally avoided tangles unless it was wet. Andrew was naturally paler and the scars on his arms were so different from Gary's; Gary's were neat and straight and it was obvious that he had taken care of the wounds that were inflicted with a sharp blade, Andrew's were less neat, often crooked and violent in appearance. Andrew himself had said that he had never gone to the lengths that Gary had gone to in order to keep the cuts clean and infection free; but then again, Gary had never been involved in any sort of drugs, nor had he been suicidal the same way Andrew had been – Gary's lone attempt on his life had been panic induced, as he had admitted to Tracey once. Andrew's eyes didn't pierce the way Gary's did; they were gentle and sweet, full of honesty and not closely guarded secrets. One look into those dark brown eyes left Tracey feeling just as intimidated as meeting Gary's intense sapphire gaze.

Then of course there were those sexual differences that left Tracey feeling uncomfortable. Tracey had never been a promiscuous person, his first sexual encounter was when he was seventeen and with his third and last boyfriend. It was easily six months into their relationship when he gave in to the sexual urges enough to go further than kissing and fondling; the breakup had come only four months later, just after Tracey had turned eighteen. It was ironic to him that he had been so saddened by the fact that nothing with Gary could be open or public when his other relationships had ended _because_ he didn't want anyone knowing about his sexuality other than his boyfriends, Bella, and May. Hurt by the demise of his relationships, he had told himself he wouldn't get involved with another guy until he was comfortable with being open with his sexuality. And then he had gotten involved with Gary and had quickly moved to Andrew at Gary's not-so-subtle encouragement on Halloween.

And the differences were extreme – Gary was dominant and somewhat squeamish and uncomfortable while Andrew was daring, bold, and was just as easily dominated as he was dominant. In truth, Tracey didn't know who he wanted most. Gary was on his mind often but pleasure came so easily with Andrew, nothing had to be held back with Andrew; and, despite how alluring the mystery surrounding Gary had been, Andrew didn't hide any part of himself. It was interesting to consider: Gary valued honesty, he coveted it and despised being lied to and yet it was so impossible for him to just let down the _damn_ walls that always guarded him. Though, Tracey had to admit, progress had been made on Gary's part in past months. Nonetheless, Tracey had to consider: who _was_ the more pleasurable person to be with? Admittedly, kissing and touching Gary and being on the receiving end of those same actions was fantastic; there was no other word to describe the way he felt during those moments that hadn't occurred since the beginning of Gary and Anna's relationship. Letting his hands slide along the firm muscles and toned abdomen, hearing the soft gasps and groans he could elicit from the other boy brought out that animalistic urge to take and be taken – but _that_ couldn't happen properly because Gary's unspoken but resolute boundaries would _not_ allow it. As soon as hands wandered below the waist, the uncertainty that lurked below Gary's façade would become apparent and the hands would quickly be guided elsewhere. Tracey had referred to it as sex with Gary but that wasn't what it was: "sex" insinuated a certain freedom and lack of fear that did not exist in the quick exchanges between them. And yet, that was part of the appeal a relationship with Gary held; what would happen _if_ Gary got past that restraint he so fiercely held around himself – that was what kept Tracey coming back and lusting after him. But it was also the thing that incensed Tracey more than anything else – _Gary _had been the one to start it: from flirting at the ice cream place downtown when they went with Kate so many months ago to teasing him after that first trip to the mall with Anna back in September to that sudden kiss in the hallway at Michelle's birthday party.

It had been _Gary_ who started it, not _him_, so why should _he_ be the one to wait for the comfort level to rise? Gary should have thought about that before pushing him against the wall and pressing his lips to Tracey's; he should have considered that before leading Tracey up the stairs to his bedroom where clothes were quickly shed; he should have kept that in mind when he had slid Tracey's pants down his legs and took him into his mouth so eagerly. Beyond that was the fact that Gary was _always_ the dominant one, which Tracey was sure would have bored him if the experiences had continued. In his last relationship, Tracey had been the dominant one with sexuality and it had bored him to an extent – he didn't want it to constantly be the same.

That was where Andrew came into play. Andrew had allowed Tracey to be dominant during the two times they'd had sex around Halloween but Andrew had also been dominant several times in the past couple of weeks he had been in Pallet. It was a wonderful change that Tracey gratefully accepted and enjoyed. With Andrew, he could take and be taken; that hadn't happened before. There was something exotic about the blonde teen that Tracey couldn't quite place his finger on. Perhaps it was the fact that he didn't hide anything and that he didn't have the boundaries Gary and his boyfriends had, which seemed to give a slight feeling of danger that felt so incredibly sexy. Perhaps it was the attraction that Tracey couldn't quite explain; he had always preferred rich, dark hair over the somewhat dull mid-tone blonde that was Andrew's, he had loved bright and intense eyes that contrasted with Andrew's deep ones. Yet he enjoyed Andrew's Nordic appearance and found it to be as attractive as Gary's. And the best part was the fact that it could go somewhere beyond physical lust; Andrew _had_ offered the chance to be his boyfriend, something Tracey would be pleased to accept.

He was still torn. Did he really find Andrew _that_ attractive? Was this thing with Andrew actually something more than a lustful fling? Remembering the way the blonde boy's lips felt against his own brought a smile to Tracey's face. Thinking of the way his tongue felt as it traced a path down Andrew's flat stomach made his stomach clench in a nervous fashion. Imagining feeling Andrew inside of him once more made his heart race in anticipation as the rest of his body responded to the thoughts. He had to ask himself once more, who was more pleasurable to be with? The answer came to him pretty quickly… What was the most pleasurable thing about being with Gary? That damn piercing came to mind first, the way it would tease him, the way it slid over his tongue when they kissed. Though the teasing Gary could force him to undergo _was_ quite wonderful, in that insufferably sensual way that left him begging for more; it couldn't be the most pleasurable experience with that boy... If those were the best things about Gary, what was the best with Andrew? The way their hips moved against each other, the dark groan that would escape Andrew when their arousals brushed against each other, the way Andrew's hands could tease him in a way Gary could never pull off, and then there was that playful gleam constantly apparent in Andrew's eyes.

It was interesting to ponder: there was one definite thing with Gary but a number of things he couldn't chose between with Andrew. Then there was the fact that the most pleasurable part of Gary wasn't really a part of him, it was just a metal bar through his tongue while all those parts of Andrew were genuinely parts of him. He supposed that gave him the answer… never mind the fact that Gary was technically out of the picture because of Anna.

Still, he had to wonder: what if he and Andrew didn't work out? What if Gary and Anna broke up? What if Gary did let down the walls and finally allow that sexuality to consume him the way Tracey hoped? That led him to a realization that he was in the same boat as Gary on this topic, he had to forget the 'what if's' and just take the chances that were given to him and simply hope for the best with no particular expectation of the outcome. He had to just let the relationship flow and go with it wherever it went.

He made his choice and decided that Gary would simply have to make his own.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

The shortest chapter in quite awhile and it's a whole chapter dedicated to Tracey! I know the two people who did the survey on my profile said they wanted to see more of both Tracey and Andrew so I hope you guys liked this chapter. I've been meaning to do a chapter of Tracey for awhile but poor Gary is just consuming all of my attention at the moment! Anyways, I'm hoping to show more of some characters other than Gary for the next few chapters so let's look forward to that!

Next chapter will hopefully be up much faster than this update…

I have begun work on the spin-off to this story and I hope to have it up sometime within the next few weeks. Anyways, the spin-off is called Changes and it's going to be centered around Ash but it will follow this fic from chapter 25 and up. It'll have the same characters as this one and will have a few of the scenes from here but from Ash's view. I'm going to try getting it up to speed with Beyond The Walls and then update them at about the same time so they stay in the same general time frame.


	35. Chapter 35: Thoughts

**Beyond The Walls**

I was hoping to have this chapter up sooner but my laptop crashed and I lost all of my story and character notes for a few days and thus lost several days worth of writing time… _but_ my sister managed to save most of the stuff from my hard drive and I fixed the computer so all is good. Yay!

Winter break is officially over so I may actually be able to update more often since I no longer have a social obligations now that I am back to 19 credit hours and five days of classes a week. Fortunately I only have one class two days out of the week so I'll have plenty of time to keep writing!

Chapter 35: Thoughts

Looking back, it was hard for Gary to accept the fact that it had already been a week since Andrew had left to return to Sinnoh for Christmas. It seemed that time itself had disappeared and had left in its wake only a few fleeting lapses of memory. He had followed Anna's wishes and found it unnerving to glance at a clock after a particular train of thought and realize that he had spent two hours laying in the same position on the couch, or that he had played the same song on the piano for an hour straight, or even that he had just listened to all five cds in the stereo without even hearing the songs. These occurrences happened often enough to unnerve him.

It wasn't as if he would just waste away the days on the couch in the music room or at the piano in his bedroom either - he had made a point of at least lazing about on Anna's bed while she would either read or play on her computer, or relaxing on the couch in the den while May played an old Sonic The Hedgehog game, or even laying on the floor in the sitting room next to Umbreon while listening to his grandfather talk with Alex and Monica in the next room. Then there was how much he had actually been doing between his extensive trains of thought; he had been busy despite what everyone else seemed to think.

--- --- ---

Tuesday had been spent largely in the music room where he was either changing the tunings of the guitars simply to keep himself busy or learning several new Cradle of Filth songs on his new guitar while his mind was on other things - mostly the research project, to his surprise. He wasn't too concerned with the project itself; he knew it was well within his capabilities, and besides, he would have his friends as well as his grandfather and Alex to fall back on if something proved to be too much for him. It was a huge opportunity for someone his age, fresh out of college, and about to begin a career of research. But was it what he wanted?

It wasn't a question he could honestly answer simply because he didn't know anymore. There had been one point in time when he had been positively certain that he knew exactly what he wanted to do, but then again, didn't all teenagers go through phases of what they wanted to do? After spending a long time thinking it over, he figured the best thing to do would be to just wait and see how much he liked working in the lab. That brought up even more questions though. What if he didn't like it enough to do it as a career - what would he do then? And then what if he did like it? Would he go back to school to eventually become either a doctor or a professor? Or would he be content to stay as an assistant researcher or a lab assistant in his grandfather's lab? Even if he didn't want to stay at his grandfather's lab, there were certainly other labs he could go to; but that would mean leaving Pallet when he was finally starting to feel at home for the first time in so long. His thoughts had been put on hold when his grandfather and Alex insisted on him going out with them to pick out his Christmas present; why they had waited until the day before Christmas Eve was beyond him but eager to escape his thoughts, he gratefully went with them. Halfway to Viridian City, he realized that he had no idea what he wanted for Christmas or in life... Certainly love would be on the list somewhere, but wasn't that what everyone wanted? The same went for respect and happiness.

They had been in an electronics store for well over an hour as he distractedly looked at laptops and through cds before he finally settled on a new stereo for his car, one he could plug his Zune into. It was the only thing that seemed even remotely interesting to him, aside from a keyboard that Alex had dragged him away from, claiming that he had enough instruments.

While his grandfather took the box containing the stereo over to the cashier, Alex asked him what else he wanted - a question to which he truly had no answer.

"Nothing? Gary, there's got to be something you want." Alex responded to Gary's one word answer.

"I don't know... How does sanity sound?" Gary asked him sarcastically.

Alex smiled wryly as he answered, "You realize Damien's definition of sanity is a bottle of Captain Morgan, right?"

"Just forget it, Alex." Gary muttered as he started to walk in the direction his grandfather had headed in.

"How about if I just put a bow on Anna's head? Would that be an appropriate gift?"

"Only if I can unwrap her." Alex stared at him for a moment before laughing at the unexpected response.

--- --- ---

On Wednesday he spent most of his time in his room, mostly trying to avoid everyone else so that he wouldn't get stuck helping set up the Christmas tree that Professor Oak and Tracey had picked up. Alex had, of course, tried to talk him into coming downstairs and had even resorted to a mild guilt trip by asking Gary when he had last helped his family decorate for the holiday. This had initially irritated Gary; he may not have helped his grandfather and sister decorate in the past few years but then again he was usually exhausted from school and catching up on sleep when they decorated, it wasn't his fault they waited so long before decorating this year. Beyond that, Christmas wasn't even his preferred holiday - though the pile of presents in his closet addressed to Anna, May, and Kate would say otherwise. After the burst of irritation subsided and Alex left him alone, Gary found himself lured into another long train of thought, this one of family. The thought sent a wave of bitterness over him; the only family he had was his grandfather and May. Both of his parents had been only children and that left him with no extended family like his friends had.

His eyes wandered over the contents of his bedroom before pausing on the picture that sat on top of his piano. That picture showed what a family was: a loving husband and wife and the children conceived of that love. Mother, father, brother, sister... those were terms that defined family and, for him, the two most important people to fulfill that definition were forever gone. Now thoroughly depressed, he stood from his desk and started towards the bed only to stop, retrace his steps over the dresser, and retrieve the note he had just remembered. He had been too distracted on Friday to truly take notice of May's words and as he read over the letter now, certain things stood out to him more than others... _amazing, sweet... I love you... it amazes me... everything will be fine... I'm proud of you_...

Re-reading it, Gary could feel his throat close up; his sister's words of support made his heart soar but the final line made it ache tragically. He swiped at his tearing eyes and placed the note back in the wooden box before removing the box from its resting place and carrying it back to his bed where he emptied it atop the neatly made comforter. He gingerly sifted through the photographs, ignoring all of them until he found the ones he was looking for.

Gazing down at a photo of his parents on their wedding day, he didn't know exactly what to think. One of his first thoughts was that his mother was beautiful with such pale reddish hair, dark green eyes, and creamy white skin. She looked radiant in the simple white lace dress that fell in a semi-full circle around her calves. Her heels were high, her lace gloves were fingerless and extended to her elbows, and there was a single blood red rose in her hair... It was the sort of ensemble he wouldn't be surprised to see Anna adorn; and now that he thought of it, he could picture it and his vision of Anna was perfection that could only be matched by the memory of his mother. Remembering the way that smile looked in person, Gary couldn't help but feel nearly overwhelmed with sorrow over the fact that she was gone. His eyes fell from the picture to his sister's note and he wondered how gone she really was when he and May held so many traits of hers... His hair fell straight like hers, his skin was naturally pale like hers, they had the same high cheekbones. May had inherited her caring persona, along with her pretty singing voice and stern manner when it came to dealing with him when he was being stubborn or troublesome. Gary had managed to capture her stubbornness, artistic talent, and ability to learn quickly. As his eyes moved to his father, he recognized more traits within himself and his sister that paralleled those of his father. May's wavy hair, Gary's sarcasm; her patience, his mischievous and playful nature that lay in submission so often, their love of music. His parents were sheer perfection to him, but as his eyes followed his father's hands, he found himself noticing a single detail that he had somehow always missed: the bulge in his mother's wedding dress that his father's hand rested on. The early October wedding put Alice at nearly five months pregnant with May - perhaps they weren't so perfect after all, Gary realized with a smile as he finally put down the picture and moved on to the others.

That realization made him wonder... perhaps his idea of family wasn't entirely right either. Picking up a picture of a far younger version of himself being held by his father in the lab with Alex next to them, he knew there was more to a family than blood ties - after all, didn't every family have that one close friend that was considered family by everyone? That one friend who practically lived with them, who would pick up the kids at school as often as either of the parents, who would help take care of the children when they were sick or upset? That friend of the family was certainly Alex in every way and remembering the way he would joke with Gary's parents made Gary think of the way he and Andrew acted when the sexual side of their relationship was taken out of the picture. The thought of his blonde friend brought a new thought to mind, a memory from only a few months prior, something the boy had said about his relationship with Anna... _you two act like incestuous siblings_... Anna had long surpassed the title of "sister-like" that Kate had held for so long. She had even surpassed the title of best friend, lover, and not even "girlfriend" seemed good enough for her in his eyes.

With that thought in mind, he shuffled through the stack of photographs until he reached one of him and Anna. It had been taken many years before on a beach someplace, perhaps in Cerulean City. Her hair was still undyed while his was still short enough to be spiked; she was wearing cropped jeans and a black tank top while he was wearing board shorts and a t-shirt. She was holding his then-young eevee in her arms while he was sitting on the sand with his growlithe. They were a few feet away from each other but their eyes were locked on each other and they both wore matching smiles. Unable to take his eyes off of the picture that shook ever so slightly in his hands, he realized why exactly his mind had quickly leapt to Anna when he realized how beautiful his mother was in that wedding picture from twenty years ago... Pale red hair, strawberry blonde hair; green eyes, hazel eyes; pale skin... It wasn't hard to see the similarities...

His vision of Anna in the same ensemble as his mother's had been sheer perfection and he could swear that his heart stopped for a moment when he realized why that was. He _wanted_ them to be that young couple in the picture, with _his_ hand on _her_ pregnant belly...

Just because he was no longer the child in his vision of the perfect family didn't mean that he couldn't ever have a different role in that particular vision.

Still, the thought terrified him. There were many years in the future for that part of his life to unfold and he was grateful when May appeared in his doorway and asked him to help her cook dinner. After dinner he had returned to those thoughts and slowly found them becoming less scary, less daunting.

--- --- ---

Thursday was perhaps the busiest day and it had left him thoroughly exhausted by the time he finally laid down to sleep. Interestingly enough, it was also the day in which he thought he made the most progress. The day started off early by May happily waking him and Anna and nearly dragging them out of bed and down the stairs for breakfast far earlier than they wanted. They had spent nearly two hours unwrapping gifts and he had been grateful to see that he had received few gifts, no matter how nice they were. He later found himself in the garage helping Alex install the new stereo in his Camaro, which mostly involved him sitting in the passenger seat while Alex did all of the work. Watching Alex work had brought back nearly-forgotten childhood memories of the times when he would sit in that very seat and watch his father work on the car all the while talking excitedly about things that had happened in school or things he had done with Ash and Kate. Or the times he would curl up in the backseat with his favorite pillow and blanket and would fall asleep as his father and Alex would work well into the night. The memories were vivid enough to force Gary out of the car with a sudden apology to Alex and a reassurance that he would be back in a few minutes. He headed straight into the woods, where he sat on the freezing ground for several minutes until he felt calm enough to return to the garage.

Alex had quickly noticed the slight redness in Gary's eyes when he resumed his place in the passenger seat but he didn't say anything about it, figuring that he had already hovered too close to Gary in the past week. There were several moments of relative silence before Alex finally spoke up and asked what he had been so absorbed in during the past few days.

"Who says I've been absorbed in anything?" Gary had asked quietly, not entirely wanting to talk about it.

Alex had simply smiled. "No one, the fact that you played the same Adagio song on the piano for over an hour yesterday said it pretty clearly. Not to mention loudly."

"How do you know I wasn't learning it?"

"The fact that I remember you spending an entire weekend learning it about two years ago and I remember Andrew complaining because he wanted to hang out and all you wanted to do was play."

"Ok, so I _have_ been spending a lot of time spacing out," he conceded. "Why do you want to know?"

"Curiosity."

"You sure you're not just being nosy?"

"Are you sure you're not just trying to distract me?" Alex replied flatly.

Gary had sighed, finally giving in and telling Alex what had been on his mind about the research project and family, carefully dancing around the subject of Anna. Alex had listened quietly, which was a rare occurrence between the two of them; the result was a conversation that seemed likely to occur between a father and son. He had admitted that he didn't know what he wanted and was surprised at how helpful Alex's response had been.

"You're probably thinking too generally. Maybe you should try thinking of what you want for people close to you and then try to apply that to yourself," he sighed at Gary's questioning expression and pressed on. "What do you want me to do over the next few years?"

"Back off a bit?"

Alex shook his head slightly and forced down a chuckle. "Well, I suppose it's a start. But jokes aside, Gary?"

There were several minutes in which Alex worked quietly before Gary replied. "I want you to marry Monica," he said softly, laughing when Alex dropped the screwdriver he was using.

"I might have to kill Damien for bringing that up in front of you; dare I ask how this applies to your own life?"

"No." Alex fixed with with a significant look. "Oh, fine," he sighed. "I'm in love with Anna. Happy now? And maybe one day I'd like to marry her, but not anytime soon considering we've only been dating for two months –"

"Despite how long you've been head-over-heels for her," Gary frowned at the response. "Come on, Gary; you think anyone missed all those stupid smiles between you two? Or all the little kisses and hugs or the times you would hold hands?" He laughed at Gary's deepened frown, "You guys have been acting like a couple ever since you were fifteen. It's obvious, Gary; that's what love is. It's easy to recognize a couple in love. God, I remember when you first met her… I still haven't seen you act as shy as you did then. Do you remember what you told Ash after that?"

"No. I hope it wasn't anything stupid."

"You said you were going to marry her one day. Then Ash bet you that he would get married first and then one thing led to another and he and Kate had a little wedding in the lab the same day because Kate was wearing that Snow White Halloween dress that she always wore –"

"That wasn't Snow White, that was the girl from Beauty and the Beast! Don't you remember how often we watched that movie?"

"Yeah, I remember. I also remember how mad you were at Ash for beating you at something, even though it was just a play wedding."

"I remember now… We were such idiots back then." Gary said with a laugh.

Alex shrugged slightly. "You were kids, of course you were idiots, but it was so much fun to watch you three… Speaking of Ash… What about him? What do you want to see him do in his life?"

"I don't know… I guess just succeed at something that makes him happy. Maybe find a cute girlfriend that can stand him."

"You've already done the girlfriend part; what about the other part?"

Gary groaned and picked at his sweatshirt. "Again, I don't know. I'll just have to figure that out with time," he replied quietly.

"That would be the best thing for you. I won't push you, but I think you should see this research project through to the end and then decide from there. There's nothing wrong with being a lab assistant like Tracey is – that's what your father ended up doing."

Gary glanced up in surprise; was that _all_ is father had been? He'd had at least three degrees from the school Gary himself had attended and he'd always been in the lab with Professor Oak, Alex, and his wife. "But I thought he did research with Grandpa?"

"No," Alex shook his head. "He was nearly done with his second masters when he married Alice; after May was born, he decided he didn't want to spend his life looking in a microscope or typing reports. He liked working with the animals so that's what he ended up doing. Basically the same thing Tracey does: take care of the animals, help out with research on occasion. He did a lot of maintenance work on the cars and everything, that's how he got started with the Camaro… Your mother didn't stick with research in a lab either. As soon as she got her ecology degree she started going to the university in Cerulean City. I don't know how she did it, between your father being in Pastoria for two years, being pregnant with May, taking care of May, and then being pregnant with you. She got her doctorate and then went into labor the next day." Gary watched Alex shake his head incredulously with a reminiscent smile. "I swear, you must've been three weeks old when she was back in the field. She was never gone for long but she hated being stuck in a lab all day; she was always outside… I'm telling you this so you know that you have choices other than following your grandfather's footsteps, or mine for that matter –"

"I know that, Alex, but I don't know if I'll even want to do research after this."

"You don't have to! That's what I'm trying to say, Gary. There are so many other things you could do and your grandfather and I would support you entirely. You could train with Ash and the two of you could make a gym to put this town on the map for a reason other than the lab."

Gary laughed at the idea of him working with Ash as a gym leader. He had given up training for a reason. "Please," he said sarcastically. "Do you realize how much we would fight over that? No, Ash has what it takes to do it on his own."

"So do you."

"But that's not what I want."

"I know; I was joking. You could always do something with music, you know. You play four instruments and you have a good voice; it seems like a shame to not take advantage of your talents, especially since it's something you love."

Gary fell silent at this. It was something he had never thought of and now that he did think of it, he had to wonder why he had never considered it before. It was, after all, his greatest passion and always had been. Still – a career in music? It was tempting to laugh at that unique thought. What would he do – be in a metal band with his friends? It was even more tempting to laugh at _that_ thought. For starters, what would he _do _in a band? He had five individual choices, not to mention how many options presented themselves when you combined instruments and vocals; and then there was the writing aspect… No, that wasn't for him… It couldn't be. The closest he would ever come to it was what he did with his friends when they all got together, and yet, that seemed to bring him more joy than anything else could; except, perhaps sex with Anna. But it wasn't as if he hadn't had offers from friends…

"I've sparked your interest." Alex observed as he began gathering up the tools that littered the floor of the car.

"Interest isn't everything," was the flat response from Gary. "Maybe I'll put some thought into it, but I can't see myself doing anything like that. Uh, don't you think you should finish with the stereo?"

"I've been done for the past forty-five minutes, Gary. Give me your keys; I want to see if it works."

"You are _not_ driving my car!"

"I just spent almost an hour installing your stereo and then nearly another hour talking to you; I think I deserve the chance to drive it. Keys."

Reluctantly, Gary handed over his keys and grimaced as Alex started the engine and pulled out of the garage with an assurance that he wouldn't crash into anything. The drive around the outskirts of the town lasted only a few minutes and they were pulling back into the garage before he knew it. Alex turned off the ignition and Gary unplugged the Zune, turning it off as he reached for the door handle.

"I didn't say anything about you leaving yet," Alex told him, handing the keys back as Gary gave him a wary look. "I want to make a deal with you." Gary quirked an eyebrow in interest and turned in the seat so that he was leaning against the door. "I take back what I said on your birthday about when I'll marry Monica on one condition."

"Hopefully not something that has to do with my relationship with Anna?"

Alex smiled at him. "It has nothing to do with Anna," he assured the teen sitting next to him. "I want you to be my best man."

"Really?" Gary asked in surprise.

"Yeah. I promised your father he would be my best man but I think he would approve of you taking his place. What do you say?"

Gary could feel a grin break out across his face. "Of course! But only if May is the maid of honor."

"I couldn't think of a better woman to be Monica's maid of honor if I tried. One more thing before you go get ready to head over to Anna's. You remember that I said I want to see you in a good relationship before I get married, right?" Gary nodded, wondering where Alex was going with this after what he had just said. "I'll propose to Monica soon, I'll even start looking for a ring when we go back to Sinnoh; but what I said still stands. I refuse to do it until you've taken your relationship to another level – I'm not done, close the door!" He demanded as Gary rolled his eyes and opened the door irritably. The door closed and Gary fixed him with an even gaze. "When I hear that you've told Anna that you love her, I will do it. Let me fill you in on a little secret: I was _terrified_ when I told Monica that I loved her for the first time, but being able to say it freely is the biggest relief ever. Tell her when you're ready."

Gary nodded and reached for the door handle once more. "Can I go now?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Have fun at Anna's – don't do anything stupid –"

Gary leaned down to look at Alex through the open door. "See you tomorrow, Alex," he cut him off and closed the door behind him.

That evening found him and Anna at her house for many hours as they ignored Rachael, happily chatted with Anna's mother, had sex on Rachael's bed when she went out to a friend's house, and fell into a content sleep together on Anna's bed before heading back over to his house in the morning.

--- --- ---

Friday was spent mostly at Ash's house where he helped the boy set up the laptop he had received for Christmas. Kate came over in the evening after she got off of work and the three teens stayed up late drinking soda and eating junk food as they talked for hours on end – something that left Gary with a content feeling he couldn't explain. As he drove Kate home, sometime around one in the morning, he told her about the conversation with Alex and the realization he had come to as he looked through the pictures in his room. He had been surprised when Kate grinned and told him that she was happy for him. Her assurance combined with the warm kiss she placed on his cheek before leaving his car told him that he had figured out something right. No matter what happened, he would at least have the two friendships that had lasted through the many trials of childhood, adolescence, and now the beginnings of adulthood.

Saturday was a rather slow day that he spent playing the cello and thinking over everything that had happened in the past six months. All of the hardships he had gone through seemed to fade away from mind when Anna entered the room and kissed him sweetly. All of his fears seemed insignificant as she slid over his waist with a soft sigh. Only one thing was in his thoughts as he mouthed the three words against her cheek once more.

Sunday entailed well over an hour of playing soccer with Tracey, Ash, and the five girls. They retreated inside when it began to snow and they were all grateful when they found that Alex had started a fire in the fireplace in the living room. As the other six teens spent the afternoon watching movies, Gary found himself content to hold Anna in his arms as they warmed themselves in a bath of steamy water. Thinking about what had happened after the last time he played soccer as he trailed hot kissed along Anna's neck and shoulders, he found himself with a sudden new appreciation of the sport.

Monday found him where he was now: standing in the driveway with May as they watched Alex and Monica drive away for Sinnoh. Their goodbyes had contained only quick hugs and kisses since Gary and May would be leaving for Sinnoh the next day so that they could help his friends move to Pallet for the research project. They just had to wait for Chelsea to arrive from the Orange Islands with some of her belongings from home before they left, and as Monica's silver Scion disappeared into the distance, Gary could see his friend's tiny bright blue Geo turn on to their street. Gary couldn't help but grin as he hugged Chelsea when she jumped out of her car and ran to him; things were definitely going to get better.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

I'm curious about what everyone thought of this chapter. I know it was pretty long and a bit anticlimactic but … just wondering about everyone's thoughts. Let me know! By the way, in a few more chapters the focus is going to go away from Gary a bit (just for a little while, no worries!).

Also, you might have noticed that I changed the title of chapter 34 to Differences Part 1; there will definitely a parallel to that chapter since (as Arch-trainer pointed out) Tracey focused a lot on the physical differences between Andrew and Gary as opposed to the personality differences and his emotional feelings about them. Despite spending so much time with Andrew, Tracey hasn't exactly seen him in his natural habitat (so to speak) and I want to show more of Andrew before we let Tracey dwell on his personality. So look forward to that! : )

Arch-trainer: Thanks as always for your reviews. I'm glad you found Anna's revenge amusing! As far as seeing teenage boys with weapons goes – band photography for my boyfriend's first band involved two swords, a set of sais, an old guitar, four teen boys, and just a bit of spilled blood. I totally would've joined in the chaos if there was a safe weapon for me to use! : )


	36. Chapter 36: Departure

**Beyond The Walls**

Note - I edited some of the previous chapters a wee bit; mostly grammatical errors and little things like that but I did change some of the dialogue in chapter 1 and a little bit a dialogue between Gary and Tracey in chapter 3. I also changed one thing in the conversation between Tracey and Andrew in chapter 31: when Andrew tells Tracey about his past, he also mentions that he has a younger sister – no new details or anything, he just says her name with Nik's and explains that she's their little sister.

Sorry for the two week gap in updates, I've been working on getting _Changes_ (Ash's version of this fic) up to speed with _BtW_ before I post it so that's been slowing down progress with this fic a bit. I hope to have _Changes_ up in a week or so.

That's about it – enjoy!

Chapter 36: Departure

"You seem happier than usual, Gary," Chelsea teased as he helped her take the black gig bag containing her bass guitar out of her car. "Did you miss me that much?"

"You? Oh, god, no. Why would I miss you?" He replied with a grin as she handed him her amplifier and removed her small suitcase from the passenger seat of her car.

"Bitch," she scoffed and followed him up the driveway after closing the car. "I missed _you_, aren't you required to return the favor?"

"Maybe." Gary said dismissively. He led Chelsea up the stairs and into the hallway on the second floor, dropping her bass and amp off in the music room before letting her pick out her bedroom.

After examining each of the six guest rooms and nearly twenty minutes of deliberation while they ate lunch, she finally settled on a room in one of the front corners of the house, next to May's room and directly across the hall from Anna's room. Gary found the choice to be interesting considering it had once been May's bedroom when she was a young girl; before she outgrew Barbie dolls, flowers, and Disney movies involving princesses. The resultant bedroom was still bright with each wall a different color: pinkish red, fuchsia, dark pink, and purple; no one had ever gotten around to painting it differently when May switched into her more mature room next door. The bed was a queen sized white iron canopy that seemed, to Gary at least, to be straight out of a little girl's dream; the spread was white with flowers and Gary was certain that Chelsea would quickly change it to the blue and green polka dot one that she had in Sinnoh. The room was cute in a way that made him want to vomit and it was a far cry from Chelsea's dark blue room in the house he had lived in with her, Andrew, and Chris.

"Um, Chelsea, you do realize we can change the furniture in the rooms, right? You don't have to be in _this_ room."

"What's wrong with this room?" Gary gestured at the bright walls and the white furniture. "Oh, you mean the girliness! Nothing wrong with that; besides, I've always wanted a canopy bed."

"The bed in the room next to the study can be a canopy…"

"I like this room though –"

"I don't."

"Come on, it's got a nice view!" Chelsea exclaimed, walking to the windows and pulling aside the bright purple curtains.

"Oh, yes, what a lovely view of the road; and if you go over here," Gary walked to the window on the adjacent wall that overlooked the side of the house. "You get a view of the lab _and_ the driveway. A real two-for-one deal, Chels."

"But you can see the town from here," she left her window to join Gary at the other one. "Isn't that wooden building part of the reserve?"

"You mean the one with the big holes in the walls with the ponyta sticking it's head out? The one connected to the fenced in area with the rapidash running around? Yeah, we call that a stable."

Chelsea laughed at the sarcastic comment as they watched Tracey feed the horses down on the reserve. "You're such a brat – I hope my brother doesn't end up like you when he's a teenager. Come on, I need to get those boxes out of my car. I couldn't see out the back window the whole way here; I ended up taking out the mailbox and Mom's rosebush when I was backing out of my driveway this morning."

Gary followed her into the hallway and in the direction of the stairs, laughing softly at her misfortune. "Oh, is _that_ how that big dent got there?" He winced as Chelsea slapped his arm in response.

A few hours later and the little Geo was empty and Gary had helped her empty the boxes and garbage bags filled with Chelsea's belongings from her home in the Orange Islands. They had rearranged the furniture in the room, set up her laptop on the small white vanity until they could switch the tiny desk with her large one currently in Sinnoh, set her Nintendo on the large bookshelf where her television would go, set her books on a smaller bookshelf, and divided her clothes between the dresser and the closet. Happy that his close friend was in Pallet to stay, Gary had taken her out to a small diner in town where they ended up spending nearly two hours just talking. Chelsea told him stories about her visit to Ascorbia Island, Gary told her everything that had happened while she was away; they reminisced about events in Sinnoh, talked about what would happen in Pastoria City when they arrived the next day, and tried to guess what would happen once Chris, Andrew, and Shawn moved into the Oak mansion just over a week away. Realizing the time, they left and Gary drove over to Ash's house to invite him to tag along to Sinnoh for the week. He agreed after a bit of coaxing and returned to the house with Gary and Chelsea to spend the night so that Gary wouldn't have to pick him up early in the morning before departing.

--- --- ---

Gary was woken early on Tuesday morning to Chelsea shaking his shoulder. "Get up, Gary, we're going running," she muttered in his ear as he swatted her hand away.

He groaned and rolled over to face her, blinking blearily at her through tired eyes. "What?" On the bed next to him, Umbreon stood and stretched, seemingly happy to have enough room on the bed to do so since Anna was sleeping in her own room. Chelsea crossed the room to his dresser, pulled out a pair of gym shorts, and picked up his sweatshirt.

"We are going running," she repeated slowly and firmly as she walked back to the bed and tossed the clothes at him.

"Why? What time is it?" Gary groaned, not making any move to get out of his warm bed.

Chelsea sighed and walked back over to the dresser where she picked up his Zune and a pair of socks, both of which were tossed at Gary as he closed his eyes again. Umbreon, meanwhile, was already sitting at the door and waiting patiently for her trainer to get out of bed. "It's just about seven; you agreed to leave at eight so get up!"

Groaning again, Gary finally pushed off the covers and stood, glaring sleepily at Chelsea as he pulled on the black gym shorts over his boxers and the sweatshirt over the long-sleeved shirt he had slept in. He watched Chelsea retrieve his running shoes from the closet as he tugged on his socks with a yawn, his tired brain admiring the way her cropped yoga pants clung to her fit thighs and bottom. He shook the thoughts from his head before she could see the physical reaction it caused. "It's too early," he complained.

He was fully awake less than ten minutes later as they jogged through the woods while the sun steadily rose in the sky. Slightly ahead of them, Umbreon darted between trees and leapt over logs; Chelsea had picked an interesting way for them to wake up before the six hour drive ahead of them. Simply stepping outside in the thin gym shorts would have been enough to wake most people thoroughly, running would definitely get the brain going for the day; but dodging low branches, climbing over fallen logs and branches, and avoiding running into trees was more than enough to wake him and sharpen his senses. Following his pokemon as Chelsea's footsteps echoed close behind him, Gary remembered exactly why he disliked running in cold weather: it made his eyes sting, it made his nose run, it made his hands numb. They broke through the edge of the trees and paused at the frozen creek that blocked their path; Gary grimaced at the thought of having to run back through the woods to return to the house.

"What exactly was the idea behind this?" Gary asked as he caught his breath, the cold air burning his lungs as he watched Umbreon testing the ice surface of the creek with her paw.

Chelsea grinned at him as she blew on her hands to warm them. "Spending quality time with you," she glanced at the watch around her wrist. "Ten minutes, how long would it take to go around these woods?"

Gary sighed as he pictured the outline of the property in his mind. "Depends which way we go. We could go north and go around the outside of the reserve but that would probably take close to an hour, damn place is so big. Or we could go south to the road, that would probably take fifteen, twenty minutes."

Chelsea frowned, calculating the times in her head. "Up to you," she said, rubbing her hands along the sleeves of her red sweatshirt.

They headed south along the outside of the forest until they reached the road, which they followed to the house. Once inside, Gary quickly headed upstairs, eager for a hot shower after the hellish run Chelsea had put him through. He had been under the torrent of warm water for only a few minutes and was finally starting to warm up when the curtain was suddenly jerked aside. Anna merely laughed softly at his surprised scolds and Gary was disappointed to realize that she was already fully-clothed.

"What are you doing in here?"

"I just felt like annoying you," Anna replied cheerfully as she sat on the counter and watched him turn off the water and step out of the shower. "I hardly got to see you yesterday since you were busy with Chelsea and I was at Bella's with May. Can't blame me for missing you, especially since I'm riding with May today."

"No, but I can blame you for not sleeping in here with me last night." Gary reminded her with a playful pout as he finished drying off. "Wait a minute, why are you riding with May? I thought Bella was going with May," he said, remembering what May had said on Sunday at dinner.

"Bella's not going anymore, she has to stay home and take care of her little brother, he's got tonsillitis and their parents have to work. So, I have to go with May, you know how she hates driving by herself on long –"

"She's going in the van with Tracey! And why does Bella have to stay, her brother's sixteen, can't he take care of himself?"

Anna sighed and shook her head with a small smile. "I meant the five-year-old, he's the sick one; she has three younger brothers, you idiot. Even Tracey knows that! Well, he would, considering he dated Adam – the one who's older than you, and it was only for a month or so." She added at Gary's confused expression.

"He's gay?"

"You couldn't tell? He's one of the four or five people in Pallet. Poor Tracey's been through the gay and bisexual population here, which I suppose will be getting bigger since Andrew's moving in?"

Gary leaned against the counter next to Anna and rubbed his temples. "My head hurts now – it's too early for normal brain function," he complained, closing his eyes as Anna leaned closer to him and toyed with the edge of the towel that was wrapped around his waist.

A hand slowly trailed along his back and Anna smiled at the soft sigh that escaped Gary. "Maybe I can help with that," she whispered against his shoulder.

Slowly, Gary turned to face her, savoring the feeling of her hands sliding on his moist skin as he turned in her arms. He gazed down at her, not sure what to say as he ran his fingers through her hair. Anna smiled at the gesture and gently pressed her lips against his, she pouted slightly when he pulled away. "Tomorrow will be two months," he said softly. A bit confused by how serious his eyes had suddenly become, Anna merely nodded. "I've been thinking a lot lately," he pressed a small kiss against her cheek as he mulled over the words he had just spoken. "And I admit that Alex and my grandfather had something to do with this thought, but we've acted like a couple for years now. It's kind of… sad that it's taken so long for us to get to this point."

Anna frowned as he leaned forward and pressed another one of those small and gentle kisses on her cheek. 'Just say it, Gary,' she thought as he opened his mouth again and promptly closed it. 'It's just three words,' she wished there was a way for him to read her thoughts when he kissed her again. She smiled warmly at him and raised her eyebrows in question as he sighed softly. "What is it?" She asked quietly, moving her hands up his chest until they slid around his shoulders to rest behind his neck and toy with his wet hair.

Gary swallowed hard, avoiding Anna's eyes while she watched him closely. He reached up and removed her hands from his neck with another small sigh and held them gently. "It's nothing," he finally said. "It's just that this relationship means a lot to me and you've always been there for me and I've at least tried to be there for you… And… I love being with you," he murmured as he lowered his head. Anna sighed against him as she felt his lips against hers and was disappointed when he pulled away and brought his mouth to her ear. "I –"

Someone cleared their throat behind them and the two pulled away and turned to face Chelsea standing in the doorway.

"Damn it," Gary breathed against Anna's hair before looking to Chelsea. "What do you want?" He demanded wearily.

Chelsea grinned apologetically at Anna. "Sorry to steal your thunder, chica, but we've got to hit the road in a few minutes."

Anna smiled up at Gary again, amused by how annoyed he appeared at the interruption. "Get dressed, babe; I'll see you downstairs." She slid off of the counter and left the room, purposely putting an extra sway in her walk purely to irritate Gary further.

Gary crossed his arms and leaned against the counter, glaring at Chelsea, who merely giggled as she mistook the meaning behind his annoyance. "If you're going to take a cold shower, you might want to do it soon before we have to go," she said with a mischievous grin as her eyes moved along his form, thinking of the close position he and Anna had been in.

Gary groaned in response. He couldn't believe that he had finally been about to tell Anna and that his chance had completely flown out the window. "Just get out."

"Go get dressed, I'd hate to have to drag you to Pastoria in nothing but a towel and not be able to have my wicked way with you." She threw him a playful smirk and a flirty wink as he brushed past her in the doorway and stalked across the bedroom to his dresser.

"Yeah, yeah; a real shame since God knows we've _never_ done _that_ before," he replied sarcastically as he pulled on a pair of boxers under the towel around his waist.

"Mmhmm. Feel like reminiscing about old times?"

"Not particularly," Gary said dryly as he tugged on a pair of baggy jeans.

"Suit yourself," Chelsea began walking towards the open bedroom door and paused when she reached it, turning in time to see Gary pull on a long-sleeved shirt. "I'll see you downstairs."

Gary sighed deeply as her footsteps retreated down the hall. The words had been on the very tip of his tongue, the atmosphere between them had been so comfortable, each kiss had come so easily… and then Chelsea had interrupted. Granted, it was his own fault for not locking the door, but if he had done _that_ the entire situation wouldn't have happened because Anna wouldn't have been able to get into the bathroom in the first place. He dropped onto the bed next to a dozing Umbreon and gazed moodily at the ceiling. He had been _so_ close, and now he would have to wait for another moment to present its self to them. Annoyed as he was, he had no real desire to move from his position on the bed, so he lay there and waited for Anna to come get him. He wasn't sure how long he had been laying there when he heard footsteps echoing on the stairs.

"Babe, come on; we've got to discuss our battle plan before we leave," her voice called from the hallway; she stepped into the room a moment later. "Gary," she sighed, taking in the sight of him laying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. She felt bad about what had happened in the bathroom, she knew Chelsea hadn't meant to kill the moment. Hell, Chelsea hadn't even known what was going on – she had just thought they were having a sexual moment. However, Anna also knew how hard it had been for Gary to finally work up the guts to get that conversation to where it was before the interruption. Because of this, she couldn't help but feel slightly saddened by the way Gary was gazing so morosely at the ceiling over his bed. Perhaps if she gave a small prod… Maybe the moment could be saved again…

She crossed the room quickly, sat on the bed, and leaned over Umbreon to capture his lips with her own. "So, before we were interrupted?" She prompted after she pulled away a moment later.

"What about it?"

'Don't kill it, Gary, please…' Anna couldn't help but feel that the moment was beyond their grasp. "What were you saying?" She whispered teasingly against his lips, loving the way she could see how his breath caught and his eyes widened slightly.

Gary took a deep breath and slowly released it, willing himself to relax enough for the moment to return. Her stormy eyes looked so pretty with that glossy hair falling around her face over him…

"I… Anna – "

"Come on, guys – we were supposed to leave five minutes ago!"

"God damn! What is it with everyone in this house always interrupting things? Go away!" Gary snapped at his sister as she appeared in the doorway.

May furrowed her brow in confusion over her brother's sudden anger. "Fine," she replied meekly before turning and retracing her steps down the hallway, wondering what she had interrupted that could possibly infuriate Gary so much.

Gary groaned loudly and stood up, leaving Anna on the bed as he stormed over to the desk to pack up his laptop for the week they would be spending in Sinnoh. Anna sadly ran her fingers over the soft comforter; she figured she would have to wait longer on him. She stood and walked over to the door, pausing before it as she turned back to face Gary.

"By the way, Gary," she began softly. "I love you too… Even if you _are_ a pussy," she added with a teasing smile.

Gary froze at her words and barely heard her leave the room. Had he really been that transparent and obvious? He smiled to himself as he slid the laptop into its case. After a few minutes of happily gathering clothes and belongings to bring on the trip, he finally left the room with Umbreon at his heels.

In the kitchen he found the three girls waiting on him with Ash and Tracey; Ash and Chelsea were both talking at the table and appeared to be eager to hit the road while Tracey was resting his arms on the counter and gazing out the window. "Wow, Gary, you sure got down here fast. We were only supposed to leave twenty minutes go," Anna said sardonically, flashing him a small smile.

"Well, now that the little brat is finally here, I guess we should tell Gary what we planned last night while he was too busy sleeping to hang out with us," May spoke up.

"Because sleep's not important or anything," Gary muttered under his breath, earning a scowl from his sister.

"Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," Ash said with an impish grin, ignoring the aggravated glare Gary sent his way.

Tracey snickered without turning away from the window, knowing quite well that his friend was glaring venomously at the younger boy. "Someone's going to be starting the day off on the wrong foot if he keeps annoying his driver – especially since it's a six hour drive," he pointed out.

Ash fell silent though the grin didn't fade from his face as May began to speak once more. May quickly explained to Gary that she, Anna, and Tracey would be riding together in the van to Pewter City, where they would stop and pick up a moving van, which Tracey would then drive the rest of the way to Pastoria so that they could help Shawn, Chris, and Andrew move without worrying about room in the cars. Chelsea would be driving her little Geo and that left Gary and Ash to ride alone in the Camaro. Gary had to suppress the urge to groan at this fact. The original plan had been for Anna to ride with him while Ash rode in the van with Tracey and Bella rode with May in Bella's Prius. It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with Ash; after all, he_ had_ been the one to invite the boy, and they had definitely restored their friendship in past weeks. It was just that Ash had this incredibly annoying habit of _never_ shutting up on long car rides…

Gary crossed the room to lean against the counter next to Tracey. "Why am I the one to get stuck with Ashy?"

May glanced at Anna, "I thought you told him?"

"I did. Remember the bathroom, Gary? Bella's brother? Ringing any bells for you?"

Next to him, Gary noticed Tracey shift his weight awkwardly at the mention of Bella's sibling. "Alright, I get it. I'm stuck with him." As Anna and May began talking to Chelsea about which route they were taking to Sinnoh, Gary turned his attention to Tracey. "So I heard you dated Adam?" He asked soft enough that no one else could hear

Tracey stiffened and turned slowly. "How do you know about that?"

"Anna told me." Tracey remained silent and Gary sighed. "So defensive," Gary said, shaking his head slightly with a small smirk. "I never pictured him being gay, but now that I know he is, it's not exactly surprising. He was the other trainer that left at the same time as me. And Ash and Kate," he added as an afterthought.

"He told me. Lasted about a month and couldn't stand getting his hands dirty – our relationship didn't last much longer than that."

"What happened?"

Tracey sighed and crossed his arms loosely. "Why do you want to know, Gary?"

"Jeez, what's with the sudden barrier? It's just friendly conversation, Trace."

"Now you know how it feels to most people when they try having conversations with you," he sighed again before pushing his hair out of his face. "We were just too different. He really wanted to be open with it; he wanted to come completely out of the closet and I wanted as few people to know as possible. That was the main thing but he was a bit too prissy for me too."

"Kind of hard to be prissy when you're working with pokemon," Gary sighed tiredly as he leaned back against the counter thoughtfully. "Was he your first?"

"He was my second boyfriend."

"I actually meant with sex."

Tracey gave Gary a look that clearly said 'you've got to be kidding me'. He groaned softly at the unhappy memories Gary's question brought up. "No," he finally admitted, casting his gaze down to the tiles below his feet. "My first time was with my last boyfriend, who incidentally cheated on me with my first boyfriend because I wasn't open enough with my sexuality for him."

Gary frowned at the revelation. "I would say something about him cheating on you if that wouldn't make me a hypocrite," he said softly. Tracey raised his head to meet Gary's eyes. "That's not something Andrew would do, if that's what you're worried about."

Tracey averted his eyes again and returned to watching out the window. At the table, Chelsea was confirming the roads May was intending on taking and Gary watched them debate whether or not a certain road would be safe with the snow that had fallen in north-eastern Johto. He smirked when they settled on a road that would take them through Blackthorn City before looping north towards western Sinnoh, where they would take another road cutting east towards Pastoria – he knew a quicker way but he didn't say it. If they took the slow way, that meant he wouldn't have to leave for at least another hour and he would _still_ arrive before them. He took a mental note of the planned route when they finally settled on it and told Anna to call him once they got to Pewter City when he walked with them out to the cars.

"Hey, Gary, isn't your car in the garage?" Ash asked as he trailed after Gary towards the tiny blue car and the van.

"Yeah, but we're not leaving yet." He walked away from Ash and followed Anna along the driveway.

Anna turned and faced him once she got to the passenger side of the van. "I take it you know a faster way to get there," she said flatly.

"I do," he conceded. Anna raised her eyebrows slightly at his word choice.

"And I take it you're leaving once I call you from Pewter."

"Yeah. I'm trying to cut down on the amount of time I have to spend with Ash in the car, he's almost as bad as Andrew on a long ride."

"Just be careful, babe. I don't want anything to happen to you from rushing on an icy road."

Gary reached out and cupped her face in his hands. "Nothing is going to happen, Anna," he promised and kissed her quickly. "I'll see you in a few hours." He and Ash watched as the two cars pulled out of the driveway a few short minutes later. "Come on, Ash, we've got another hour before we have to leave."

"Why? It's already nine, if we wait another hour that'll put us behind two hours and we won't even get there until around four!"

"The way I drive only takes me four hours to get there, Ash. We'll be there before three."

"You mean we'll be dead by three, with the way you drive."

"Will you just get inside and find something to keep you away from me for an hour!"

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

What did you think of the scenes between Gary and Anna? Hopefully not too bad? Or overly cheesy?

One thing I really wanted to do in this chapter was show a little bit of the relationship between Chelsea and Gary since there really hasn't been much of that; I also wanted to show a little more of Chelsea's persona. So, I hope you guys got a little bit of a better idea of who she is. Actually, something a bit interesting about Chelsea (indirectly): she was based a little bit on my general biology and genetics lab partner with her name, physical appearance, and her pre-med major in school, in combination with some of my personality (and music preference, of course). This semester I have microbiology, which is my first bio course since genetics, which was a year ago now; so who sits in front of me but Chelsea! I just thought that was a bit interesting since I had written the scenes between Gary and Chelsea the night before. Makes it a little awkward to be around her now though…

ForeverBlue90 – thank you as always, and don't you worry, there'll be plenty of Tracey coming soon! I've got plans for him coming up… Good luck with your applications and exams!

Arch-trainer – I'm glad you liked Gary's replies, I would've done more but my brain kind of crashed and burned pathetically towards the end (might have something to do with writing at 3 AM… oops) – we might see some more of that at some point though (what Gary wants for everyone, not the crashing and burning part). : ) The house does seem really empty with everyone gone – I actually didn't really know what to do other than Gary's thoughts because of that. Anyway, my goal for that chapter was for Gary to actually realize that he loves Anna (as well as pass time). Thanks as always!


	37. Chapter 37: Road Trip

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 37: Road Trip

Gary sighed dramatically as Ash began to go into yet another story from his two years of training in the Sinnoh region; it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that Ash had been going on like this for the past two hours and his excited voice drowned out the speakers of the Camaro. It was certainly starting to wear on Gary's nerves, especially since he hadn't been a trainer for nearly four years. The last thing he wanted to hear was another story involving the creatures that Ash worked with when he had stories of his own from that same time period that involved far more than battles, badges, and travel. Part of him pitied Ash because he never spent enough time in one place to actually settle down somewhat and do things that normal teenagers would do like hang out and watch movies for hours while making fun of the acting, or going to parties and watching friends make idiots of themselves, or even just putting aside thoughts of what city you were going to next or how much more experience your pokemon needed before it would evolve. Another part of him envied Ash; the boy had gone to so many places, had so many adventures, gained so much experience in many aspects of life. He had proof of those things too: badges, newly acquired or evolved pokemon, a trail of new friends throughout different regions…

Then again, he supposed he had done similar things… He'd been to many places that he doubted Ash had been to, even if they were mostly in Pastoria or nearby Sunyshore City; the university, the diner his friends hung out at on Saturday afternoons while they recovered from hangovers… There were countless other little places hidden all over the cities where so many memories had come to life and the sense of familiarity that those places had held a certain allure that he had always longed for while traveling, he was sure even Ash felt that sense of longing during his adventures. As far as new friends went, that was the whole reason behind this drive in the first place: helping four friends move to a new place. He'd gained more friends than he had imagined having and that surprise party his grandfather had planned certainly proved it when nearly twenty people showed up from Sinnoh. Ash may have had proof in the way of badges and animals, but he had proof of his experiences too – pictures, ticket stubs, text books, a diploma… a ton of new scars…

"Gary, hey – earth to Gary!" Ash suddenly chirped from the passenger seat.

Gary glanced at him to see his friend casting a slightly worried and annoyed look his way. "What?"

Ash shook his head with a small, triumphant grin. "You weren't even listening," he said in that cheerful voice that had been chatting Gary's ear off over the course of the entire drive. "I asked you about Pastoria."

"What about it?" Gary asked, turning down the volume of the stereo slightly.

Ash huffed, looking slightly exasperated. "What was it like? You had to have done something other than school work the whole time."

"Why do you want to know?"

"I dunno," Ash shrugged as he watched the trees go by. "Curiosity I guess; I mean, I _did_ just tell you all about training in Sinnoh. I guess I just want to hear about the other side of it all."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"Good thing for me I'm not a cat."

Gary frowned. "One man's blessing is another's curse."

"Oh, come on! Give me a break – I could always up the level of annoyance, you know."

Gary's frown deepened as he turned the stereo back to its former volume. Now that the topic of conversation had switched to him, he wanted Ash to go back to rambling on with his stories.

In truth, Gary was enormously torn about this return trip to Sinnoh. He was thrilled at the thought of seeing his friends, especially the few that hadn't traveled to Pallet; the New Year party that was to be held at Beth's house was something he was particularly looking forward to. Surprisingly, it wasn't the idea of drinking enough alcohol with Andrew to forget about all of his troubled thoughts before slipping off to screw around with Anna that he was looking forward to; it was actually just being around everyone that he was most enthused about. Still, he was worried. He had been in Sinnoh for two weeks after leaving the hospital after his suicide attempt before moving home and those two weeks were foggy. He was worried about how he would feel when he returned to the house now that he had finally accepted what he had done. He was nervous about sleeping in the same room, in the same bed, that he laid on when he swallowed the handful of pills that one night in July. Would he even be able to set foot in that room without his breath catching in his throat? When it came time to sleep, would he end up reliving the panic attack from Halloween? And then what if Anna had plans – would he be able to perform for her? The thought of not being able to please her made him even more apprehensive. He would feel so horribly embarrassed if anything like that did happen. Other concerns were weighing on his mind – far smaller but still existent…

There was one thing about Sinnoh that was enticing him.

It was the notion of music that was truly drawing him to Pastoria and his friends there – there was something in the way everyone would play and feed off of each other's energy that was more alluring than anything else he could think of. There was something magical about it; there was simply no other way to put it. The feel of his hands moving across keys and along strings could make his mind go blank faster than Anna's hands trailing along his bare back. The energy a room could fill with as several people played together could create a fog greater than the one vodka or tequila would drown him in after several shots.

There were many things that were bound to happen in Pastoria, certain things that happened all the time when he lived there. There would be a party at Beth's house and everyone would get drunk and then everyone would run into each other at the dinner the next afternoon – most likely when David and Ben would be working. He would go to Alex's house for a few hours and would certainly hear either Logan's loud music coming from the house next door or Tim playing guitar across the street. He would go over to Damien's house and Damien would try to teach him how to play drums and Jon would play Kansas loud enough for everyone to have to scream if they wanted to be heard. He would go over to Tim and Charlotte's house and would either hang out with Charlotte and whoever had decided to come over or go into the recording studio in their garage and help Tim with something. He would flirt with Ashley, kiss Andrew, pick on Shawn, purposely annoy Chris, break up a fight or two between Nik and Andrew… They were all things that happened frequently.

Maybe something different would happen. Maybe he would help Tim do something for one of his bands – hell, maybe he would even stay in Pastoria and make that something that would happen frequently… Maybe he could just move back and bring Anna with him; they could leave behind everything in Pallet and he could forget about research and school and just play music with his friends all of the time…

'Damn Alex for putting that idea in my head,' Gary thought to himself as he shook the thoughts out of his head. If there was one thing his grandfather would not approve of, a music career was it. Besides, how long would it be before he got sick of being around his friends nonstop? How long would it be before the homesickness hit him?

Next to him, Ash sighed softly, apparently under the impression that Gary had begun to ignore him. That wasn't really what was going on – he had just been bombarded with a massive amount of thoughts that his brain was still processing as he kept his eyes on the road.

Several more minutes passed in silence and Gary found himself wondering if Ash was truly interested in his experiences from his time in Pastoria. Few people seemed to care about _it _in general; May didn't want to hear the stories from parties because they always involved him drinking, his grandfather only cared about how he was doing in school, talking to Alex had always seemed to lead to a lecture, Anna didn't care about school, Kate just wouldn't be able to understand anything about his friends. Tracey was the only one who had really shown any interest in it before. Now Ash was seemingly interested, but he was sure that there were many things that the younger teen wouldn't want to hear.

"Do you really want to know about Pastoria?" Gary asked quietly after a few minutes. Ash nodded with an expression that said he was a bit annoyed with how closed off Gary was being. "What do you want hear about?"

Ash gave him a slightly confused look before he answered. "Everything," he finally said with a small shrug of the shoulders.

Gary glanced at him. "Why?"

"Why does everything have to be so difficult with you?"

"Will you just answer the question!"

Ash sighed and glared out the window for a minute before turning back to Gary. "I want to know why because I'm curious about what you've been doing for the past two and a half years. The only thing I really know about is being a trainer, I'd like to know about other people's experiences. Can't you just drop the barrier and talk for once? What do you think I'm going to do – run off and tell your grandfather about everything you've done? Because that's not what I'm going to do."

There was another moment of silence before Gary finally nodded. "Where do you want me to start?" He asked softly.

"I read online that you have to be sixteen to go to that school. Why did you go when you were fifteen?"

"It sounds like you're doing an interview," Gary muttered under his breath before heaving a sigh. "I didn't want to go when I was fifteen," he admitted.

"And?"

Gary rolled his eyes. "When I stopped training, I was planning on just going home and helping out Grandpa in the lab and going to high school with the girls and then going to a regular university like everyone else does. I just wanted to do what normal kids did and I told Grandpa that too," he paused and slid the right sleeve of his shirt up to his elbow and pointed out two faded scars. Ash paled slightly at the sight of the scars. "Obviously he didn't listen. He said that it would be a waste of time since Alex tutored me until we left."

"That was only for three years –"

"Do you want me to tell you or not?" He waited until Ash fell silent before continuing. "Yeah, it was only for three years. Fuck, I'm going to have to go back to explain everything; fair warning though, I don't remember much from then. After the accident, I stopped eating and I wouldn't do anything other than sleep for… a long time. Grandpa had to put me on an IV drip and I apparently almost died because I was so sick but, once I was better – "

"Does that have anything to do with why you don't eat meat anymore?"

Gary closed his eyes briefly at Ash's interruption. "Yeah, it does actually. Meat's harder to digest than vegetables and carbs and it made me sick when I ate it. So I stopped eating it. _Anyways_ – if you interrupt, I will pull this car over and make you walk back to Pallet!" Ash closed his mouth, keeping his next question to himself. "After I was better, Alex taught me every day, until I became friends with Anna, pretty much from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. If he wasn't teaching me, I was either playing piano or learning cello. After Anna started coming around, he started doing it when everyone else was in school so I could actually be around other people."

"Didn't Anna's dad kill himself around then?" Gary nodded hesitantly; the last thing he wanted to do was let the conversation subject turn to Anna's past, especially when he was one of the few people she had trusted enough to tell. "Do you know why?"

Gary sighed softly. "Yeah, I do," he answered regretfully. He knew, but Anna had sworn him to secrecy and he wasn't about to betray her trust on something like this. "But it's something really personal for Anna and her sister so it's not my place to tell… I will say that she still gets upset about it sometimes and whenever she does, there's nothing I can do to comfort her because she won't let anyone touch her. And it really kills me when she's like that. Back to topic… Alex taught me pretty much everything I would have learned in high school and Grandpa had me take the test to get a high school diploma when I came home after Johto. Then he somehow managed to get me an internship at the research center on Sayda Island – it's not too far from Hoenn, they do a lot of research on extinct pokemon. Or at least, they did; some of those pokemon aren't exactly extinct anymore – don't ask. I was planning on staying there until I was sixteen and then start applying to universities or something like that. Then, of course, Grandpa got the idea of me going to the school in Pastoria since he went there and taught there, and my parents went there, and Alex started teaching there. After awhile I figured I would go there once I turned sixteen but, typical Grandpa, he got me an early admission. I was still going to stay at Sayda but I ended up getting really homesick and I came home and the next thing I knew, he was on my case about accepting the early admittance. In the end he got so annoying that I not only accepted it but I moved up there a month early just so I could get the hell away from him!" He frowned as he turned onto a small highway in Johto that would take them to the northeast of Blackthorn City. "So that's how I ended up in Pastoria when I was fifteen. Good enough explanation for you?"

Ash nodded, a bit stunned from the amount Gary had told him. "Where did you stay when you went there?"

"When I went to Pastoria?" Ash nodded again. "With Alex. He has a house with Monica near the school, it's actually pretty cool – a bunch of my friends live in that neighborhood. I moved in with Andrew, Chris, and Chelsea during my first summer there." By this time Ash had turned in his seat so that he was facing Gary and it seemed as though he were hanging onto every word. "I take it you want to know how I met them?"An excited nod was the response from Ash. "I met Andrew somewhere in Kanto actually, he was a trainer and he beat me in a battle – I wouldn't be surprised if you battled him at some point too. You guys would have gotten along really well, he was exactly like you as a trainer… Only he knew what he was doing," he added as an afterthought in a teasing way.

"Hey! Who was the one that made it further in the – "

Gary cut him off by showing him his arm again. "I think I know that, Ash!"

"Oh chill _out_! I was joking, jeez, bite my head off why don't you…"

"I wasn't biting your head off!"

"Yes, you were."

"No, I wasn't. I wasn't – don't give me that look."

"What look? You were biting my head off –"

"Oh, _shut up_!" Gary exclaimed. Glancing in the rearview mirror, he could swear Umbreon was rolling her eyes at their bickering.

"You shut up!"

"Make me!"

"You're such an egotistical pain – will you watch the road!"

"I _am_ watching the road, just sit there and shut it."

"You're doing like a hundred miles an hour; you're gonna kill us!"

"I'm only doing seventy – holy _fuck_, Ash! Stop with the backseat driving!" Ash had commented on the speed limit only being fifty.

Ash's grin faltered for a moment. "But I'm sitting in the front seat…"

"Oh my god, I hate you," Gary groaned. "You're more annoying than Andrew, and that takes a lot of effort!"

"It takes talent," Ash replied cheerfully.

Gary stayed silent for a few minutes as they drove on the nearly-deserted highway. How had that little argument started off in the first place? He tried to remember what they had been talking about before they had somehow reverted to their childish behavior. "Did you want me to keep talking?"

"Only if you're going to be nice," Ash muttered.

"What's the fun in that? Stop glaring at me, I won't pick on you as long as you don't interrupt with anything stupid. Deal?" After a moment of hesitation, Ash nodded in agreement. "We were talking about Andrew… I remembered him when we met at school but we didn't really get along."

"Why? Were you too good for him or something?"

"You know, this nice thing has to go both ways. And no, it wasn't like that," he sighed. "It actually wasn't anything like that. Andrew, along with a lot of other people, thought I was just a suck up that only got into the school because of my grandfather. Chelsea and Chris were different though. Chelsea was the first person I met at the school that didn't say anything about me being the grandson of the _brilliant_ Professor Oak – _everyone_ had to comment on it! I had been in school for two days and already want to leave because I got so _sick_ of it. It was all anyone cared about, no one actually cared about who I was; except the maybe five friends I had there… The only thing that kept me there were my friends and the fact that Grandpa would be on my case again the second I got home, which is exactly what happened, by the way."

"Sheesh, Gary; a bit bitter?"

"You wanted to know, I answered honestly. Don't ask if you don't want to know."

"You've just never been a bitter person before… What about things other than school? You can't have been miserable your whole time in Sinnoh."

"No," Gary agreed. "It wasn't exactly terrible, and despite being a bit bitter about it, I don't regret it because I made more friends than I ever thought I'd have and I did a lot of things I never thought I'd do."

"Like kiss another guy apparently."

Gary laughed softly and shook his head. He found Ash's ignorance to be mildly amusing. "There were other things too. Though since you brought up kissing… There's something serious that I actually kind of want to talk to you about."

"Ok, what is it?"

Gary hesitated, unsure if he was entirely willing to talk about one of the things that had been on his mind all day. "Well," he finally began after a few more minutes had passed in silence. "To put it simply, Alex is getting ready to ask Monica to marry him and it's pretty much up to me when he does it."

"What do you mean?" Ash asked slowly.

"I mean he wants me to tell Anna that I love her before he does it."

"Really?" Gary nodded in response. "_Do_ you love her?"

"Do you realize what a complicated question that is?"

"Yeah, do you realize what an easy answer it is?"

"Yes, I do, and before I answer the first question; what do you think of Anna?"

Ash noticed Gary cast an anxious glance his way as Ash pondered the question before answering slowly. "I always thought Anna was weird, to be honest; and I never got a very good impression of her from Kate either. When I heard that you two were going out, I couldn't understand why you would possibly go out with her because you always seemed so different from each other. Then I saw you at the party and then I saw the way you acted and you two really aren't as different as I thought you were. You two seem great together and you seem happiest when you're around her."

Gary nodded slowly as he mulled over what Ash had said. "So what do you think I should do?"

"Well, do you love her?"

"Yeah,"

"Then stop being a chicken and tell her! I don't know why you're sitting around and be so serious thinking about it – you're just making a bigger deal out of it than it really is. Maybe if you thought a little less you wouldn't be such a wuss!"

"You're saying for me to be more like you?" Gary asked in disbelief. He and Ash were vastly different; for starters, Ash never thought before he acted while Gary always did. Gary never acted without thinking things through… Perhaps that was his biggest problem.

"Yes! Next time you guys are together alone and you feel like you love her, tell her," Ash said firmly.

Gary couldn't help but think that this might have been the best advice he'd heard. Something about hearing Ash tell him to do it set things in motion; maybe it was the fact that Ash was his best friend from so long ago, maybe it was the fact that this advice was coming from someone his own age and not someone older than him and his friends.

Maybe he would actually take the advice.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Well, I have to admit that I had a hard time with this chapter. I had some serious writer's block despite having soo many ideas for the next couple of chapters.

I've also been toying with the beginnings of an egoshipping fic that I got an idea for recently. Hopefully that will turn into something, if it does, it will certainly be up here but it will be sort of on the back burner in comparison to _Beyond the Walls_ and _Changes_. Also, I'm thinking of rewriting some of the early chapters (maybe 1 – 6) since the story was not something serious when I wrote them, and now that the story is so serious, I'd like to rework them a bit to make them more realistic. Any ideas or feedback for any of these projects is always welcome, I'll let you all know whenever I fix up those chapters or get up those new stories.

Thanks for reading!

Arch-trainer: Reading your latest chapter to _It's Never Easy_ really helped me get past my writer's block with this chapter! Thanks to you, this story can _finally_ move along a bit more! That makes me so happy. : )


	38. Chapter 38: Curiosities Part 1

**Beyond The Walls**

A nice big update for everyone! Enjoy all four chapters!

Chapter 38: Curiosities Part 1

The rest of the drive to Pastoria passed uneventfully while Gary and Ash talked civilly and avoided a repeat of their earlier bickering and Gary was far from surprised when he didn't see his grandfather's van or Chelsea's Geo when he pulled into the driveway at the house. The garage door to the house was open and revealed a dark green station wagon and Andrew's black Nova; apparently Chris and Andrew were home. As the two teen boys climbed out of the car, the front door to the house burst open and a girl a few years younger than them came running down the steps.

"Gary!"

He looked up at the excited voice and smiled at the girl. "Hey, Abby! How's it going?" Gary asked as Andrew's younger sister threw her arms around him, she pulled away after a minute and grinned up at him. While Andrew and Nik were unmistakably siblings, it was harder to see the resemblance in Abby with her curly brown hair and pale eyes that contrasted greatly with the straight blonde hair and dark brown eyes that her brothers possessed. Abby looked past Gary to see Ash standing next to the car with Pikachu sitting on his shoulder and Gary was surprised when she greeted him cheerfully. "You two know each other?" He asked incredulously.

"We met a few times while we were training here in Sinnoh," Ash explained quickly.

"Yeah, he kicked my ass in the competition in October –"

"Been hanging out with Andrew this week, I see," Gary observed from her language. Both Abby and Ash ignored him while they continued chattering about the competition.

"That was an awesome battle! Your arcanine was almost as hard to beat as Gary's –"

"You evolved Dante?"

"Oh, sorry, Gary, I forgot about you for a minute there! Yeah, I waited until he reached level forty-eight and learned Flare Blitz just like you said to do."

"That's great; can we go inside now?" Gary asked as he pulled his bag from the backseat of the car so that Umbreon could get out without having to climb over it.

Abby giggled at his annoyance and greeted the dark pokemon. "Yeah; be careful though – I think Andrew's sick."

Gary frowned and tossed Ash's backpack to him over the roof of the low car. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's reading," a male voice spoke up from behind Abby. Gary looked up to Chris standing with his hands resting lightly on her shoulders.

"Oh my god! You should probably take him to the hospital!" He exclaimed with mock concern and hurried into the house, leaving the others in the driveway laughing. Gary fought back a grin as he burst into the living room and saw Andrew sprawled on the couch with a copy of a Harry Potter book. "Andrew! Are you ok?" He asked worriedly as he gently placed a hand on his friend's forehead.

Andrew laughed and swatted Gary's hand away with the thick book. "Get off of me, you fucking idiot!"

Gary walked around the couch and shoved Andrew's legs off of it before sitting down. "What the hell are you doing reading that shit?"

Andrew returned his attention to the book. "It's not shit, which you would know if you would actually read it instead of insulting it. I'm serious!" He added as Gary gave him a doubtful look. "Fine, read the first three books and if you don't like the third one, I will leave you alone about it."

Gary groaned at the thought of reading the books that many of his friends had been obsessed with. Kate and May had devoured them greedily, Shawn had read them, Charlotte and Chelsea used to have full-on debates with Missy and Ashley over the books, Michelle and Bella had re-read some of the books several times over, and even Anna had constantly been on his case to read them.

"I know, Gary – it's not by Michael Crichton or Orson Scott Card so it must suck horribly!" Chris said sarcastically as he led Ash between the amplifiers, tables, and stacks of stuff to the smaller couch that was perpendicular to the one Gary and Andrew were sitting on.

Abby followed the two boys in and sat on top of a particularly large bass amp belonging to Chelsea. "You guys can _really_ tell that you're moving out in a week," she said sardonically.

"Oh, shut it, brat." Andrew muttered, not looking up as he turned a page.

"Did you get to the part where Snape kills Dumbledore?" Abby asked in a saccharine voice that made Ash snicker.

Andrew finally raised his eyes. "I am going to kill you," he hissed at his sister, who merely grinned. "After I finish this chapter though," he added before returning to the book.

Gary and Chris met each other's eyes and shook their heads as Chris sat on the recliner that was squeezed between a bookshelf and the small couch. The bickering between the fifteen-year-old pokemon trainer and her oldest brother was no different than that between other siblings. While the boys were in school, Abby had come around to visit fairly often, once every month or so for a few days, which she was able to do because she was training in Sinnoh. The fact that she and Ash had become acquaintances wasn't really _that_ surprising, they were both powerful trainers – especially Abby, considering her age and amount of experience in relation to Ash. Gary actually wouldn't have been surprised if they had run into each other in Hoenn at all, they had both been in the region around the same time, though Gary suspected Abby had competed in the Ever Grande Conference the year before Ash. He supposed it didn't make that much of a difference whether or not they had met before, considering they were now yapping away as though they were great friends while Andrew read and Chris flipped on the television.

Gary sighed softly. He was bored already; he had always hated it when Andrew made the rare decision to read for recreation. Whenever he did that, he would do it in huge six hour blocks until the book was done; granted, it was one of the few ways to get him to shut up and sit still but it was still boring when it happened. Everyone was doing something except for Gary. He looked around the room and was a bit surprised to see it largely unchanged since August. The walls were still the pale yellow they had been back when Andrew's grandparents lived in the house, though they had been largely covered in posters as soon as the four teens took over the house; Gary noticed that a few more had been added to the vast collection. The large couch and recliner were still the ugly yet comfortable brown atrocities that had always been there; the smaller couch was still the modern red leather one that Chris had found on the side of the road in Beth's rich neighborhood and it still contrasted horribly with the other furniture. The huge coffee table was still blue and covered in books, cds, and empty cups; the bookshelf still looked ready to collapse at any time, though someone had finally gotten around to fixing the broken shelf – probably Chris. A few more amplifiers had found their way into the room while the video game modules of Andrew's had somehow disappeared. One of the few things that had changed was the television – it was far larger than the old one which had probably been relocated to one of the bedrooms.

"What's happening with the house since everyone's moving?"

"Nik's moving in," Andrew said flatly.

Gary couldn't help but notice the frown that crossed Abby's face at the mention of her other older brother. He didn't say anything, figuring the two boys had most likely gotten into a fight at their family's Christmas get-together; something that always seemed to happen. "Is he getting the whole place to himself?"

Andrew groaned loudly, snapped the book shut, and tossed it onto the coffee table. "No. Ben, David, and Logan are moving in too," he said, sounding irritable.

"What's up with you? Pissed that I'm annoying you when you want to read?"

"He's pissed because Nikki's been a bitch lately."

"Language, Abby."

Gary and Chris had to fight back identical smirks as Andrew chastised his little sister. "What's going on with Nik?" Gary asked curiously once he was sure he wasn't going to laugh at the glare Abby was shooting at Andrew.

"Beats the hell out of me," Andrew snapped, Gary frowned at him.

"He's being a homophobe –"

"Abby!"

"What? It's true!"

"I am not gay!" Andrew's response made Gary frown as he remembered their conversation in his bedroom the day after his birthday.

"I didn't say you were!"

"You insinuated –"

"_You_ insinuate that you're _bi_ all the time; what do you call making out with Gary?"

"Don't drag me into this, please. I get dragged into it between him and Nik enough as it is," Gary interceded wearily.

"And on top of that, you pretend to be gay around the family!" Abby exclaimed, ignoring Gary entirely.

"This is starting to get interesting," Chris commented languidly.

Ash looked uncomfortable as Gary closed his eyes and tried to tune out the argument that continued for several minutes. Finally Andrew threw his hands in the air and stormed off to his bedroom while Abby left for the kitchen in a huff, leaving the three boys that remained in the living room extremely confused.

"What was that all about?" Gary asked Chris, opening his eyes as he heard Andrew's bedroom door slam.

Chris merely shrugged his shoulders with a small sigh. "Andrew's been moody since I got back. I don't know what's going on with him; he's probably just stressed out from being around his family for a week. And you know how he is when Nik starts acting like that –"

"Yeah, but if he wouldn't play it up all the time, then Nik wouldn't act like that."

"Gary, this is Nik we're talking about. Remember the time Charlotte beat the shit out of him for calling her a Cradle of Filth fangirl? He still calls her that just because he thinks it makes him appear tougher than he really is," Chris said reasonably.

"Even though Charlotte still kicks his ass for it all the time," Gary muttered under his breath. A few minutes of awkward silence stretched on between the three teens until Gary sighed loudly, quickly growing tired of the dismal comfort level in the room. "I'm hungry, is there anything in the kitchen?"

Chris shook his head. "I got in from Cherrygrove around one this morning and Andrew and Abby have only been here to sleep and shower for the past few days; I was waiting on Chelsea to get back so we could go to the store together. Will you stop sighing? You just got in, you can't be that miserable already!"

Gary stood with a groan and made his way between the many items cluttering the crowded room, muttering something about going out to get food as he walked to the kitchen to drag Abby along for the ride.

--- --- ---

"So what's going on with your brothers lately?" Gary asked as he drove down the road with Abby slumped miserably in the passenger seat with her arms crossed. She hadn't been very willing to come along for the drive but she seemed to listen to Gary more than she did to either of her brothers.

She let out a long breath and stared out the window. "I think they're just stressed out about Mom; I bet Andrew already told you all about that."

Gary frowned; Andrew hadn't said anything about his mother when they had spoken over the phone several times in the past week. "He didn't. What happened this time?"

"Got arrested for drunk driving and now she's in rehab again." Abby said it calmly and matter-of-factly but Gary sensed that she was upset by it. It certainly explained Andrew's moodiness – he usually hid it well but he had been very bitter towards his parents as long as Gary had known him and his mother going to rehab for the third or fourth time in the time in three years was certain to only make him more bitter.

"I'm sorry," Gary muttered in response.

"Don't be, it's her own damn fault." Apparently Andrew wasn't the only bitter one as of late. Gary nodded slowly as he thought about the things that had been said between the two siblings in the living room. "Gary?"

"Abby?"

"Is Andrew… _Is_ he gay?" She asked hesitantly.

Gary sighed and leaned his head back against the seat as he pulled up to a red-light, unsure of how to answer the straight-forward question. "I don't know, kid. I'm not sure if he even knows right now."

Abby, to her credit, took this as an appropriate answer and nodded to herself as she took it in. "What about you?"

Gary cast a small glance her way and frowned; it was actually one of the many things he had thought over in the last week. "I like girls, Abby," he fought the urge to roll his eyes as she blushed slightly. One of the reasons she listened to Gary more than she did to Andrew was because of her crush on her brother's best friend. "I have a girlfriend now."

Surprisingly, Abby seemed to perk up at this. "Do you two have sex?"

"Abby…"

"Never mind, I'm being nosy. What's she like? Am I going to meet her? What's her name?" Gary smiled at her excitement.

"You're trying to change the subject," he called her out. "Talk to me, what's going on with Andrew and Nik? You said something about Andrew pretending to be gay," he prompted.

"You're trying to change the subject too!" She whined in response before deflating slightly under the stern glance she received from Gary. "I can't believe you don't know about this; you're his _best friend_! He pretends to be gay to piss off Dad and Nik pretends to be some goth Satanist to piss off everyone else. It really sucks because everyone except our grandparents already think my parents are an embarrassment to the family and they already hate Andrew enough because of running away and the drugs and everything like that – now they hate him more because of the way he acts. And now none of the cousins want anything to do with me because they think I'm some psychotic combination of those two idiots."

Gary stayed quiet as he listened to her curiously. He had to admit that he was somewhat concerned about his friend now; Andrew was the type of person who was never afraid to be himself, no matter what the circumstances were. Sure, he could force a smile and be polite despite his out-spoken and rather mouthy personality. Still, he would never pretend to be something he wasn't unless there was some specific reason behind it, some sort of ulterior motive. But whatever the reason behind Andrew's strange behavior, it was beyond Gary.

"How does he _act_ gay, Abby?"

"Well, it's not like he's all flamboyant or anything… except when he does his Jack Sparrow imitation. He just pretends he doesn't like girls at all, like he's not interested in them at all."

Gary sighed softly. "That Kate Beckinsale poster in his bedroom begs to differ," he muttered, less worried now that he knew the extent of the pretending.

"The Orlando Bloom posters don't!" Abby argued.

"Well, you know how much he likes Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean," Gary pointed out with a shrug as he pulled into the parking lot of a Subway near the university.

"And how much he loves The Odyssey," Abby added sarcastically as she climbed out of the car once Gary parked.

"If you're talking about the Troy posters, it's actually The Iliad, not The Odyssey; and one of those posters has a pretty girl on it –"

"The others have Brad Pitt on them, Gary! My brother isn't straight, I know that – I just wish he would stop pretending to be something he isn't." At the sad tone in her voice, Gary stopped before the door to the small restaurant.

"What bothers you more, Abby: the possibility of Andrew being gay or him pretending to be?" He asked softly, certain that he was honing in on something important.

Abby lowered her gaze to the ground as she thought for a few seconds before raising her eyes to meet his solemnly. "I don't care if either of my brothers are gay, I just want them to get along and be happy!"

"And if Andrew _is_ gay?" Gary pressed.

"Then I hope he finds a boyfriend like you – no offense to your girlfriend, but I was hoping you two would start dating… Then maybe you could become my brother-in-law one day."

Gary raised his eyebrows at her blunt comment, unsure of how to take it. He settled on honesty even though he was certain Andrew would be annoyed with him over it. "Andrew thinks he might be gay, Abby," he said flatly. "He apparently wants a boyfriend and there's a guy I know that he likes – you'll meet him, don't worry about it. I'll talk to him later but I think you should tell him what you told me." Abby nodded silently and Gary sighed as he pulled the door open.

His mind was spinning as they ordered subs for everyone who would be at the house when they returned; he still couldn't figure out the reasoning behind Andrew's behavior. He knew that Andrew was fairly certain he was more gay than bisexual, that was a given – Gary had always suspected that the boy was more attracted to his own gender than the alternative. Each of Andrew's relationships with a girl had failed and thinking back on it, it seemed almost as though Andrew had intentionally sabotaged each relationship. At the end of each relationship, instead of being upset, Andrew had always seemed somewhat relieved. The first relationship had been with a sweet girl named Emily and she'd actually reminded Gary of a combination of Kate and Michelle. It lasted a few weeks before there was a party to celebrate the end of the boys' (and Chelsea's) second semester in the university. After two shots of vodka, Gary could distinctly remember one of their usual playful kisses that were intended to gross out Nik… who happened to be standing next to Emily at the time. A fight had ensued and the end result had been a breakup which led to the first steamy make out session between the two boys. Andrew didn't seem the slightest bit sorry over the failed relationship though he had been a bit remorseful when Emily indicated that she didn't want to be friends with him afterwards.

The second relationship had been with Lauren, who had once been best of friends with Charlotte, though their relationship had turned sour years prior when Lauren cared more about herself than her friend's wellbeing; the only reason they were still 'friends' was because Charlotte was too nice to cut the friendship off. At party at Beth's house, something Andrew had said spurred a fight between the two girls and, while Andrew had backed off, Gary was quick to come to his friend's defense against Lauren; he still couldn't remember the harsh words that had apparently come out of his mouth at the time. Either way, something he said had insulted Lauren enough for her to dump Andrew on the spot. That relationship had been the only one that Gary was positive Andrew had sabotaged considering a conversation he had overheard between Andrew and Charlotte only a few minutes after the sudden breakup.

--- --- ---

"_Just as planned, huh?"_

"_A bit better than planned actually, thanks, Andrew. I couldn't take it with that slut anymore; you know she only cares about herself."_

"_No problem."_

"_Did Gary know about this?"_

"_No. I don't think he would've gone along with it if he did."_

"… _I think I owe you a drink after this."_

"_Actually, I'm going to go hang out with Gary…"_

--- --- ---

Andrew had found Gary sitting with Chelsea and Missy and had summoned him over, only to lead him upstairs to a spare room where they quickly began kissing and groping. It was the first time Gary had ever touched a boy other than himself. He didn't mention the conversation he'd heard and Andrew didn't seem to care either way.

The third relationship, which had been the last Andrew had pursued in school, was with a girl in their classes at the school. Her name was Bianca and she was well known around the school for being highly promiscuous. She wasn't the brightest student and had asked Gary for help studying for a microbiology exam; Andrew had known about this arrangement, Bianca had even said that Andrew recommended she ask Gary for help. Andrew had never mentioned his secret girlfriend and Bianca's payment had been sexual in nature, leading to an interesting conversation between the two boys later that night.

--- --- ---

"_How did the study session with Bianca go?" Andrew asked with a small smirk._

"_Not bad; she's still not going to do well on that exam though."_

"_Not bad, huh?" Andrew echoed. "Did you fuck her?"_

"_God, no; I don't need Chlamydia this close to finals."_

"_So what _did_ you guys do if you didn't have sex?"_

"_We made out."_

"_And, let me guess, she gave you a blow job?" Gary nodded silently. "How's that tongue ring of hers?"_

"_Awesome," Gary replied flatly._

"_Isn't it? That's one of the reasons I'm dating her."_

_Gary gave him a strange look. "You're what?"_

"_I'm dating her."_

"_Why the fuck didn't you tell me this?!"_

"_It's not a big deal…"_

--- --- ---

A few hours later, Andrew had wandered into Gary's bedroom just after the latter had gotten out of the shower. He'd pulled the damp towel away from Gary's waist, pushed him back on the bed, and slowly trailed his mouth down his torso after slyly announcing that he and Bianca had called off their short relationship. Gary had been too preoccupied by Andrew's mouth on him to put any thought into the fact Andrew had not only kept the relationship a secret from his best friend but was now pleasing that best friend in the exact manner his ex-girlfriend had earlier that day. It was one of the first times Andrew had done that particular act on Gary, though it was still several weeks before Gary worked up the nerve – or had enough alcohol in his system – to return the favor.

It was interesting how crystal clear it all was in hindsight and didn't his grandfather always tell him that hindsight was twenty-twenty? Gary and Abby remained largely silent on the ride back to the house, both listening to the metal radio station that Damien and Liana worked at while lost in their own thoughts. Despite his suspicions over the course of two and a half years of friendship, Gary had doubted Andrew when they talked the morning after his surprise birthday party. Now he found himself certain that Andrew was right, as were his own suspicions, and the boy shared the same preference as Tracey.

He still wondered why Andrew acted differently around his family then he did around his friends. Perhaps he cared so little about what his family thought of him that he felt comfortable enough to show a side of him that few people saw while he hid it from his friends out of concern over their thoughts. Gary didn't care much for this idea; it didn't seem entirely likely as Andrew was overtly bitter and spiteful towards his parents and cousins while he cared deeply for his friends. Maybe he did it purely to piss off his family, as Abby had said. But even this seemed somewhat unlikely since Andrew never went out his way to make someone he didn't care about feel a certain way. Or perhaps he was acting like that around his family as a test of some sort, to judge how much his family would accept him should he actually turn out to have a homosexual preference before being open with everyone else over it. Gary made a note to bring this up whenever he got a chance to talk to Andrew about his conversation with Abby.

It seemed as though the next few weeks, or even months, with Andrew would be interesting and Gary wasn't sure whether or not he should be nervous about this. The whole situation had certainly sparked his curiosity as he wondered how this would affect whatever relationship was between the blonde boy and Tracey.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Two new reviewers! Awesome!

I threw another OC at you guys – sorry! Abby is a bit important in this fic since she's close to Andrew and kind of helps him out in a rough place. She won't be in here very much but she may make another appearance at some point! Not saying anything else on that topic at the moment… it deals with the way part of the story develops in the future. : )

So far two of my reviewers have said that they are looking forward to _Changes_ and I promise it's going to be up soon – right now I'm just a bit stuck on everything that happens in chapter 26 of this fic and putting it into Ash's POV without it being a total repeat of _BtW_. It's also a bit difficult for me to get into Ash's head to write as him when I've gotten so used to Gary and Tracey's characters! Anyway, it's coming along, and once I get past the first few chapters of it, it should be ready to post.

Snailsgomoo – Thanks for the review! I glad you liked how I did Ash's character, I was actually a bit worried about how that came out. Thanks for voting on the poll and I hope you like _Changes_ when I get it up.

Arch-trainer – Thanks as always! That's awesome that you've taken inspiration from this story, I've actually gotten inspiration from TTSOMT as well – that fight between Andrew and Gary was definitely influenced by the one between Gary and Tristan! I totally feel for you with classes, between microbiology and my education field experience class, I'm going to be pretty busy this semester. Fortunately for me, no chemistry or anything math-related this semester. Good luck with your classes!

Kasandra – Thank you! And yes, this story will most definitely have more chapters (other than these ones, of course). I can't imagine leaving it unfinished after I've gotten so caught up in it!


	39. Chapter 39: Curiosities Part 2

**Beyond The Walls**

A ton of flashbacks in this chapter… Enjoy!

Chapter 39: Curiosities Part 2

Gary suppressed a groan as he stepped into Andrew's catastrophe of a room and closed the door behind him. The room was dark and Andrew was laying on his bed watching a movie; he hardly spared Gary a glance until he turned off the television and sat in front of him.

"We need to talk," Gary stated flatly.

"About?"

"About a bunch of things." Silence fell between them for a minute while Gary tried to decide where to start. "Why didn't you tell me about your mother?" Andrew didn't respond and Gary sighed after a few minutes of watching him pick at the black comforter. "Andrew, come on; just tell me."

"Because I was embarrassed," he finally said softly.

"Seriously?" Andrew nodded, his eyes cast down. "Do you realize how many stupid, idiotic things you've done in front of me?" At Andrew's confused glance, Gary pressed on. "You weren't embarrassed when you did any of those things – and they were things you were in control of. You weren't embarrassed when you told me that you think you're gay, or when you said you want to try a relationship, or when you were making out with Tracey in front of everyone at my house – why the hell would you be too embarrassed to tell me something like this when it's something you can't even try to control?" Andrew merely shrugged and silence fell over them once more.

It was several minutes before Andrew spoke up. "Why do you care?"

"Why do I care?" Gary echoed incredulously. "Why the fuck do you _think_ I would care? You're my best friend – I care a lot! I know you hate most of your family, but why couldn't you just tell me?"

"Because I just wanted to pretend that it didn't happen – Gary, I need to get away from my family, I need to get out of here. I figured if anyone knew about it then they would have an excuse for me to stay in Pastoria…"

"What are you talking about?"

"Abby told you about our mother; did she tell you about everything else?"

"She told me about you pretending to be gay and Nik pretending to be a Satanist. Is there something else going on?" Andrew looked pained at the question and it worried Gary greatly as his friend buried his face in his hands. "What's wrong?"

"I'm such a hypocrite," he muttered.

"Andrew, what –" Then Gary noticed it. Long sleeves… Andrew never wore long sleeves, with the exception of his two hoodies. Suddenly he understood. "Let me see your arms," he said softly, hating how the tables had turned without warning.

Andrew dropped his hands from his face and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to reveal several long cuts along one of his forearms. "I didn't want to," he said in a choked voice. "I didn't know what else to do; I felt so sick afterwards that I took out half a bottle of rum…"

"Andrew, what happened?" Gary knew that he had stopped cutting nearly four years prior and that only something truly terrible could have caused this sudden relapse.

"When I got back here I told Nik pretty much the same thing I told you and he freaked out. I decided not to tell anyone else but he blurted it out to everyone and then we had this big fight that Abby came home in the middle of. My father told me that if it was true he would disown me; I thought he was just being an asshole so I pretended to be gay the next day… that was why my mother started drinking, so everyone blamed me when she got arrested."

"Abby didn't tell me that," Gary said softly.

"That's because Abby doesn't know!" Andrew cried sharply. "All she knows is what happened with Mom and that I pretended to be gay – which I pretty much am! I thought that Nik would accept it since he's never made that big of a deal out of us, that's why I told him first, I figured he would be able to keep a secret better than Abby would. I should've told Abby instead; then this wouldn't have happened."

"Your parents would have found out sooner or later –"

"I didn't want them to find out like this! And I sure as hell didn't think they would have that sort of reaction to it!"

"I know," Gary replied, not knowing what else to say. Then he remembered what Abby had told him earlier. "I'll be right back," he said quickly and walked across the room to door before calling down the hall for Abby.

"Gary, don't –"

"Trust me on this." Abby appeared in the doorway and a worried expression quickly crossed her face as she took in the sight of her eldest brother with his head in his hands and his sleeves still rolled up to reveal the cuts. "Tell him what you told me when we went out, Abby. Abby's not like Nik, Andrew; you can talk to her."

Gary stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind him; leaning back against the wall, he could hear Abby asking Andrew what was going on. If there was one thing that Gary was unprepared to deal with, it was definitely Andrew in this state; he couldn't even think of how to deal with this sudden turn of events. He couldn't even begin to imagine what Andrew was possibly going through, between the personal pain of relapse, his sexual confusion, his brother's betrayal, and his father's anger. That was hardly even scraping the surface; Gary knew that with great amounts of stress came craving for the drugs that Andrew had once given up before he had even given up his cutting, undoubtedly the reason he had turned to alcohol afterwards. On top of that was the stress and probable guilt coming from his mother's problems, hurt from his family turning on him, and definite fear of his friends and beloved little sister doing the same.

He didn't know what he could possibly do for his close friend, something so large could only begin to resolve with time and, for Andrew's _and_ Abby's sake, Gary hoped that Andrew had the patience to give this situation the time it needed. Judging by how quiet the room was, Gary assumed that things were going well and standing in the hallway like he was wouldn't do anything to help anyone. Slowly relaxing as he heard no arguing coming from Andrew's room, Gary pushed himself away from the wall and headed towards the other bedroom down the short hallway, intending on laying down and resting from the long drive.

The room was so vastly different from any of his rooms back in Pallet – the original music room, his bedroom, or the new music room. Even when he had lived here it had been different, as though living in Pastoria had turned him into an entirely different person. It had started off as a blend between the music room and his bedroom, with two walls painted black and the others deep red, and like the music room, it had been like a lair with the dark carpet. He had loved it. _Had_ loved it; now he found it to be an ominous setting with the black furniture and dark linens on the bed – it was like Anna's bedroom had been before he left for Sinnoh years ago. Thinking back, that was probably why he had loved it; it had reminded him of her. With how outgoing and cheerful Anna had been since moving back to Pallet, the darkness was depressing and the chill Gary felt as he stepped into the room did not comfort him in the slightest. The room was currently a strange combination between cold and stuffy, which was particularly strange since it had always been the most comfortable in the house.

Gary closed the door behind him and sat on the bed with his arms crossed, the memories of what had happened in the room the last time he was in Sinnoh made him feel ill. He hadn't even slept in this bed since he had returned from his short stay in the hospital after that one night in July, Andrew had insisted on him sleeping in his room instead. At first Gary had been annoyed about this but had found sleeping with someone next to him to be a great comfort after what had happened, especially since that person sympathized with him. He couldn't imagine how he would possibly be able to sleep in here now, even with Anna.

Looking around the room brought up memories that he had nearly forgotten and, even in his state of worry, he couldn't help but get lost in them as he laid back against the black comforter.

--- --- ---

"_Can you give me that ecology book?"_

_Andrew smirked and shook his head. "Get it yourself."_

"_You're already over there! Just give it to me."_

"_Fine," Andrew said with a sigh and flung the text book across the room where it hit the wall and left a dent in its place._

"_Andrew!" Gary scolded loudly._

"_Oh chill out, no one will even notice the hole," he stood up from his position on Gary's bed and walked over to where Gary was sitting at his desk and glaring at him. "You've been working too hard on that paper," he murmured as he slid over Gary's waist and pressed their lips together. "You're hot when you get pissed off."_

_The only response he received was a low groan as his hands blindly tugged at the waist of Gary's jeans._

_--- --- ---_

"_I swear I'm going to kill you if fuck up the tuning of one of my guitars again!"_

_Andrew grinned at Gary as his younger friend stood before him looking exasperated. "Bring it, pussy," he challenged, inwardly smirking as annoyance flashed in Gary's eyes. He wasn't at all surprised when Gary shoved him in the chest hard enough to push him against the wall behind him, his studded belt leaving gouges along the wall. "I love it when you do that."_

_A small smirk crossed Gary's face as he pinned Andrew to the wall. "Yeah?"_

"_Oh yeah," he hissed softly as Gary's hand slid down his side to his thigh. _

"_I think you just love being my bitch."_

"_I doubt that."_

"_Why do you say that?" Gary asked as his hand inched upwards towards Andrew's groin._

"_Because there's no way in hell I'm going to be submissive to a little pussy like you." With that he pushed Gary away from him and pinned him to the bed, laughing as the boy squirmed under him. "You're much more fun when you're the submissive one anyway, mein liebling vittu."_

"_Fuck you!" Gary's fist came up and made contact with Andrew's jaw, causing the older boy to shake his head and place his hands on either side of Gary's torso._

"_You're gonna pay for that," he smirked as he tickled Gary, causing him to shriek and begin punching and slapping any part of Andrew he could hit._

_--- --- ---_

"_Have you seen my anatomy notebook?"_

"_No, did you look in your disaster of a car?" Gary asked without glancing up from his keyboard._

"_Could you at least _try_ to be helpful?" Andrew cried in annoyance._

"_I _am_ being helpful; I gave you a suggestion didn't I?" Gary sighed at Andrew's irritated expression, flipped the power switch on the keyboard, and made his way over to the center of the room where the blonde boy was standing. "Come on, I'll help you look for it," he said as he pushed Andrew towards the door. Andrew glared at him and moved to trip him, only to gain a swift backhand to the face; he gave a sharp yelp of pain and immediately raised his hand to his lip where Gary had hit him. Gary saw Andrew's hand come away smeared with blood and winced, apologizing as he grabbed a towel off of his dresser. _

"_Bastard," Andrew complained as Gary ushered him onto the desk chair and gently pressed a corner of the towel against the bloodied lip. _

"_I'm sorry," Gary apologized again as he wiped away the blood with a remorseful glance up at Andrew's eyes._

"_It's ok as long as you're willing to baby me like this," Andrew muttered._

_--- --- ---_

_Andrew peered into the quiet room and was mildly surprised to see Gary sitting on the edge of the bed with a dark towel pressed against his arm. He sighed softly as he quickly crossed the room and kneeled before his friend. "What happened? I thought you were having lunch with your grandfather and Alex," he said softly as he took the towel from Gary and held it in place to stem the blood flow._

"_I did," Gary replied curtly, Andrew glanced up at him nervously._

"_What happened?" He lifted the towel to find the scar on Gary's wrist reopened along with two new gashes across his forearm. _

"_Nothing," Gary said as Andrew began wiping away the blood._

"_Bull shit," Andrew replied as he stood up and pulled a box of gauze and medical tape out of the drawer of the nightstand. "Something must've happened," he said as he carefully bandaged the cuts._

"_I just wish he'd care about something other than school."_

_Andrew said nothing until he finished bandaging Gary's arms, he stood and returned the materials to the drawer before standing in front of him once more. "Hey," he said softly and tilted Gary's face up to look at him. "Are you alright?" Gary nodded silently and Andrew sighed as he pressed a small kiss against Gary's forehead and wrapped his arms around him. "It's ok," he murmured as Gary rested his head against his chest. "Everything's going to fine, you know that…"_

_--- --- ---_

"_If you could fuck any girl, who would it be?" Andrew asked with a small smirk as he held a cookie over Gary, laughing as he pulled it out of his friend's reach. It was late at night and they were both laying on the bed wearing only boxers._

"_Will you stop teasing me with the cookies?"_

"_You've been teasing me nonstop lately, I'll give you the cookie when you give me some head in return. Answer the question." Andrew replied flatly, munching on the cookie that he had been teasing Gary with. "Mmm, these Oreos are awesome." He moaned, moving out of the way as Gary tried to grab one from him._

"_You're cruel. And if I could have sex with any chick, it would be Anna."_

_Andrew laughed softly. "You're fucking predictable, man – when am I gonna meet this chick that you are _so_ deeply in love with?"_

"_I'm not in love with her!"_

"_Dude, you talk about her nonstop! You're obsessed with her – what did I tell you about the cookies?" Andrew demanded as Gary made another grab for the package next to him._

"_I'm not obsessed with her, she's my best friend," Gary replied as he reached for the package once more. This time Andrew pushed him away and they wrestled for a moment before tumbling off of the bed and on to a pile of dirty laundry._

"_Remember what I said," Andrew said in a low voice as he straddled Gary's waist. He grinned as Gary slowly tugged down the red boxers that rested on Andrew's narrow hips. "That's better," he muttered, still grinning as Gary pushed him against the floor and commanded him to shut up before taking him into his mouth. He groaned loudly and ran his fingers through Gary's hair as he felt his friend's moist tongue caress his hard member. Several minutes passed as his breathing grew more rapid; Andrew propped himself up on his elbows as he felt himself coming closer to release and watched Gary's lips slide up and down his flesh. He moaned as he finally felt the orgasmic rush flow over him. "You know," he said as he sat up while he spilled into Gary's mouth. "Cookies go really well with thick white liquids… At least this one won't make you sick like milk does."_

_At his words, Gary laughed then choked and gagged as he dug through the dirty clothes for a towel which he spit into. "You're an asshole!" Andrew could only laugh in response as Gary stood and flung a pillow from the bed at him._

_--- --- ---_

_Gary slowly opened his eyes as he felt a hand gently touch his cheek and gazed sleepily at Andrew. "How are you feeling?" Andrew asked gently as he carefully sat down on the bed._

"_Horrible, I've been throwing up all day, just like yesterday."_

"_Well, that's always fun," Andrew muttered. "I told Monica you won't be in class tomorrow; she's going to have Alex talk to the other professors to get you excused from the labs." He shifted his position on the bed and pulled Gary closer to him so that he was resting his head on Andrew's lap._

"_Thanks."_

"_That's what I'm here for," Andrew replied, rubbing Gary's back as he groaned uncomfortably._

"_God my stomach hurts… Don't you have class?"_

"_Yeah, but I'm not leaving you here alone when you're this sick."_

_Gary couldn't force himself to respond as he felt himself slipping off into a restlessly feverish sleep, comforted by the constant presence of his friend._

_--- --- ---_

"_You look like hell."_

"_It's called a hangover; if I recall correctly, you've experienced these before," Andrew replied dryly as he flopped back on Gary's bed with a groan._

"_It wouldn't be so bad if you hadn't decided to drink so many energy drinks this morning," Gary chastised before snapping his laptop closed and leaving the desk for his bed._

"_You sound like Alex." He sighed when Gary tossed a bottle of water at him. "Now you're acting like Alex." _

_Gary smirked as he sat on the bed and leaned over Andrew to press a small kiss against his lips. "Still think so?"_

"_No,"_

"_Good, because it would be awfully weird for him to do this," he said softly before their lips met again and his hand made its way down Andrew's side._

_--- --- ---_

"_I thought you said you were done with this," Andrew said sadly as he once more held a towel against his friend's bleeding arm._

"_Yeah, well it's easier said than done!" _

"_Calm down," Andrew intoned softly before Gary could continue on his angry tangent. "You're making yourself bleed even more… You cut really deep this time… What's wrong? You were happy when the semester ended – what's making you so upset now?" Gary didn't respond, instead pulling his arms from Andrew's grip, folding them across his knees, and putting his head down. Andrew watched with a small sigh as blood continued to drip from the cuts, staining the dark jeans that Gary's arms rested on. "Talk to me, I'm worried about you."_

"_Just forget it!"_

_Few things could have forced Andrew to ignore the request more than the choked voice that Gary had answered with. He reached out and pulled Gary against him, "just talk to me, please." He finally turned Gary's face until he could see the tears on his face. "Hey, none of this – you just messed up, you can stop if you really want to… Let me help you, this'll be the last time you cut yourself, I promise," Andrew whispered as he wiped away the tears and kissed Gary's cheek._

--- --- ---

Gary had been nearly half asleep until the last memory triggered a thought that jerked him back to total consciousness. All of the kisses, the hugs, the nights spent laying in bed next to each other as they talked about anything and everything, the caresses and caring words that went with them: they were no joke. Perhaps the kisses and gropes in public were jokes but everything else… that was entirely real; that was genuine friendship. Or so Gary had always passed it off but that last thought told him otherwise. Best friends encouraged each other, cheered each other up when they were upset, defended each other, and fought bitterly at times; they were not perfectly in sync with each other's emotions the way Andrew and Gary had been…

The memories of Andrew gently wiping blood off of Gary's arms and kissing away tears of frustration, Gary carefully tending to Andrew's many injuries, taking care of each other when they were sick; they stirred up a strange feeling, a sudden realization that he had stupidly never considered. Friends were not that affectionate: couples were. Ash had said that Gary was lying when he referred to his kiss with Andrew as "nothing" and the boy had been right, even if Gary had never thought about it before, even if Andrew had never brought it up between them. That strange look Andrew had given him nearly two weeks ago in the music room when Gary admitted that he might be in love with Anna suddenly made sense now.

Andrew had been more than a best friend: he'd been a boyfriend… And Gary had never noticed it.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

The drama started early in this chapter… Poor Andrew. Though I have to say, I love writing flashbacks between him and Gary – they're fun to write (most of them at least).

Hmm, we haven't seen Anna or Tracey in the last couple of chapters; I wonder what they've been up to… I wonder if Anna's going to have any surprises for Gary up her sleeve after they were so rudely interrupted a few chapters ago… ; )

Foreign language stuff:

_Mein liebling_ – German for "my beloved"

_Vittu_ – Finnish for "cunt"


	40. Chapter 40: Revelations

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 40: Revelations

'Oh my god, what the hell did I get myself into?' Gary thought to himself. He had always viewed his friendship with Andrew as a normal one that was free of extra complications, but this realization threw everything off. What did it say about their relationship as it was now, with Gary dating and in love with Anna while Andrew was involved with Tracey. 'I guess now I know that I actually _do_ like guys even if I never thought about it like that… And I guess that means Andrew _is_ gay,' he thought. He hated the way things seemed to constantly be changing for him; it made it feel like he was on some crazy carnival ride that he couldn't get off of, no matter how hard he tried. He wondered if Andrew had viewed their friendship as more than that and if he did, why he hadn't said anything about it while everything was still going on between them when he lived in Pastoria. He felt horribly guilty to think that this relationship had obviously been so much more without him ever thinking about it as that. It seemed almost like the ultimate betrayal to his best friend to just pass off Andrew's affection as nothing or worse, as a joke. 'No, that's not true; ultimate betrayal is what Nik did – I wouldn't do that,' but he didn't see this as much of an improvement over Nik's actions.

As he lay on the bed consumed by his thoughts, he could hear two cars pull up in front of the house followed by doors closing and voices talking. Chelsea and Tracey had arrived. Gary wondered if Tracey might be able to pull Andrew out of his sour and depressed mood, after all, he was easy to talk to and never judged… not to mention whatever it was that was going on between them. It wasn't like Gary could talk to either of them about what was going through his mind right now; it wouldn't exactly be fair to Tracey when Gary had already done so much with him only to turn around and date Anna, beyond that, Tracey was already so involved with Andrew – how could he bring up something like this? It would just create a horrible triangle that would leave Tracey as the odd man out. Chelsea just wouldn't understand; she was a great friend, that much was true. She could keep the secret, except from maybe Charlotte and Missy, but she wasn't on the same level as Gary with this. She had said herself that the last thing she had time for with school was a relationship and she hadn't indicated that she was even interested in ever having one – talking to her about this would be like talking to Umbreon: it would force him to verbalize his thoughts but he doubted he would get any valuable advice out of the talk since Chelsea had no experience with relationships. The only person he thought had enough experience in relationships for a conversation like this was Alex… There was no way he would talk to him about _this_. Talking to Anna was probably his only option… Though talking to someone as simple as Ash might help him, considering the simplest solutions were often the best, not to mention the easiest to follow. But close friend or not, he would never be comfortable talking to Ash about this twist in his life.

He could hear Chelsea enter the house and loudly greet Chris and he wondered if perhaps he should leave the room to join everyone in the living room but made no move to get up. Thinking so deeply after such a long drive was leaving him exhausted. If anyone wanted to see him then they could come to him; he lacked the energy or the will to get out of bed and that particular moment so he rolled over and tugged at the neatly made comforter until it was loose enough to crawl under. Closing his eyes, the last thought was a brief wonder of where Anna and May were.

--- --- ---

Something seemed wrong, Tracey noticed after awhile. Being his first time meeting Andrew's younger sister, he didn't notice anything off in her behavior but apparently Chris and Chelsea did and they questioned her about it, only to be told to talk to her brother. Chelsea had said something along the lines of Andrew obviously not being angry because he wasn't playing a band that Tracey had never heard of on his stereo. Chris had seemed a bit worried for some reason but never said anything other than muttering something about Gary having talked to him earlier. He would have asked Ash if knew anything if it weren't for the fact that the younger boy was playing some video game with Abby while Chelsea watched.

Thoroughly confused, bored, and a bit lonely, he figured he would find Gary and at least let him know that his sister and girlfriend were at Alex and Monica's house before tracking down Andrew to hang out with him. His confusion turned to mild concern when he quietly opened the door at the far end of a short and narrow hallway that Chris had said led to Gary's room. He knew something was up when he found Gary sound asleep; May had told him back around Halloween that her brother often slept deeply like this when something bothersome was on his mind, or whenever something drastic happened. Chris' concern combined with this sparked his own worry as he silently left the dark room and closed the door behind him before heading along the hall to the other bedroom.

He knocked on the door and heard Andrew's voice call that it was unlocked. Slowly pushing the door opened, he wasn't entirely surprised to see how dark the room beyond it was. The walls were unsurprisingly black and were covered vastly by posters of all sorts, ranging from sexy girls to movies to bands and musicians. His three guitars were hung amongst several swords. Nearly every surface was cluttered with soda bottles, dvds, cds, books, video games, and empty potato chip bags. The blanket thrown haphazardly on the bed was covered with dragons, as were the pillow cases on several pillows. The only light in the room came from strings of spider-shaped lights that were hung along the ceiling. All in all, the room seemed… fitting for Andrew.

"Hey," Tracey said softly, not knowing what else to say. Andrew was paler than usual, his skin contrasting deeply with the bed sheets he was laying against.

"What's up?" Andrew asked dryly. Tracey noticed that he seemed somewhat weary and subdued; it made him wonder more than ever if something was wrong.

"Not much," he replied as he carefully stepped around the many objects on the floor and closed the door behind him. "How's it going?"

Andrew give a small bitter laugh. "It's going," he said flatly with nearly no emotion in his voice.

Tracey gingerly sat on the edge of the bed and took in Andrew's appearance. His hair was tangled badly and his eyes seemed to have a slight amount of redness; his jeans were so torn that Tracey almost wondered if he'd been attacked by a Razor Leaf attack while wearing them. Even his shirt looked as though it had seen better days and it gave him the appearance of someone who was ill, depressed, or hung-over. This worried him. "What's wrong?" He asked, Andrew may have appeared exhausted but he certainly didn't seem sick – that left only two possible explanations in Tracey's mind.

Andrew didn't answer immediately, he seemed to think things over as his tongue flicked nervously against his lip ring. "A lot of things," he finally said quietly.

"Like what?" Tracey gently pressed.

Again, Andrew took a long time to respond and this time, he seemed to ignore the question entirely. "Do you have any siblings, Trace?"

Tracey couldn't help but tense slightly at the question. There were few topics he avoided but his family and his past relationships were at the top of the list. "Yeah, I have an older brother and a younger sister," he answered slowly, curious about the reasoning behind the sudden change in subject. The way Andrew was responding to Tracey's attempts at conversation almost reminded him of Gary. It wasn't something he liked very much. "Why do you ask?"

Andrew seemed to ignore the question once more. "Do they know that you're gay?"

"Yes," he definitely did not like the direction this conversation was going.

"What did they do when they found out?"

"Let's just say there's a reason I don't go to the Orange Islands," Tracey hedged.

"Tell me what happened?"

Something in his voice made Tracey drop the guard that was rarely up. "I always knew I was gay and I think everyone around me did too and my brother picked on me all the time for it before I even knew what 'gay' meant. My parents never said anything about it but they weren't exactly thrilled with me, they were pretty conservative," he explained softly. "I don't think my sister understood everything going on, she's eight years younger than me. When I got older, I realized that I was gay and I just accepted it; I didn't act on it or anything but my brother and his friends pretty much ganged up on me when I was twelve. When my parents didn't do anything about it, I decided to leave to become a pokemon watcher. I was going to do that eventually but everything happening at home just made me want to get out, so that's what I did and I met Ash a few months later and eventually ended up in Pallet."

Andrew had a distant look to him when Tracey finished speaking. "Do you ever talk to your family?"

"Sometimes to my parents and sister, it's awkward though."

"I take it there's a lot of animosity there."

"No," Tracey shook his head slightly. "There's a lot of indifference but not animosity. It's just the way things are, it's no one's fault things turned out this way and I don't regret ending up with Professor Oak. Why do you ask? Did something happen?" He watched Andrew continue to nervously toy with the metal ring on his lip. "Andrew?"

"Yeah," he finally replied.

"Tell me," Tracey prompted gently.

Andrew smiled grimly. "It must be something with brothers," he said sadly. "I told Nik that I think I'm gay; he's never had a problem with me and Gary, other than the kisses in front of him. I don't what I was expecting… I knew he wouldn't be like Gary was when I told him but I thought he would at least accept it at face value and keep it between us and just go on as if nothing had changed. But obviously that was too much to ask for! Instead we ended up getting in a fight on Christmas Eve at my grandparent's house and then Nik goes and blurts it out in front of everyone – my cousins, my parents, my aunts and uncles – the only one who wasn't there when he said it was Abby! And basically the end result of all of that shit was my father disowning me on Christmas, all because my little prick of a brother can't keep his mouth shut!" He stopped suddenly and took several deep breaths while Tracey quietly waited for him to calm down, lightly resting a reassuring hand on Andrew's thigh as he did so. "I've always tried to be a good brother to Nik and Abby; I know I fucked up when I ran off and then screwed up even more with the drugs but since then, I've always been there for both of them. I even bought Nik his first bass, I saved up for months for it too; and I help Abby with her training all the time. I just want them to be happy and all… It would be nice if they were the same way, Abby tries to be but she's not around much – she's training to be a gym leader, wants to open a fire-type gym here in Sinnoh somewhere. Nik doesn't even try but he was so much better these past two years than he's been since I came home from training. I guess he has a reason to be mad at me since I left when they needed me but we were really getting along lately and then this happened."

"I'm sorry, Andrew," Tracey said quietly. There was little else to say and he knew that sympathy was probably the greatest comfort he could give. "Does Abby know about all of this? You said she wasn't there when Nik said it."

"Yeah, she knows; thanks to Gary," his voice was so flat that it confused Tracey. He couldn't sense if this was good or bad.

"What did Gary do?"

"Apparently he and Abby talked earlier and she told him that she didn't care if I was gay. So when I told Gary what had happened, he called Abby in and had her tell me everything that she told him and I told her everything that I had told him."

"And?"

"And she's pissed at Nik but said that she hopes I find a boyfriend as cute as Gary – she has a _huge_ crush on him, by the way. Drives Gary crazy because he hates being popular… But she was really sweet and I guess it kind of helped me put things in perspective."

"Sisters seem to be better at that than brothers."

"Except in Rachael and Anna's case," Andrew pointed out.

Tracey considered this for a moment. "Michelle told me that Gary apparently told May that he's worried about Rachael, something about her losing a lot of weight and being really quiet."

"I wonder if those two will make up; I doubt Gary will make up with her unless she makes up with Anna, he's_ really_ loyal to her. When I first met her she had pink dye in her hair," Tracey nodded for him to continue. He remembered back in the beginning of May when Anna had dyed the top layer of her hair pink while the rest stayed black – she obviously hadn't liked it because the pink was replaced with black and green a month later. "Anyway I made some joke about it not being 'metal' and Gary nearly beat my ass for it, even though he said himself that he hated her hair being pink."

"He told me that he didn't hate it as much as he did when her hair was blonde," Tracey said.

Andrew frowned, examined a lock of his own blonde hair, and pouted playfully. Tracey snickered and Andrew quickly joined in until they were both laughing. "Oh man, it feels nice to laugh after all of this shit that's been going on. Come over here," he pulled Tracey close to him in a grateful embrace. "Thanks for coming in here, it was nice to talk to someone who's not so wrapped up in the whole situation. Gary's friends with Nik and Abby is obviously stuck in the middle of everything, but you don't really know Nik or Abby so you're kind of neutral on all of this. It's nice," he said softly. "It puts everything out there for me and just…"

"Helps?" Tracey suggested. Andrew nodded in a quiet response as they both maintained their close position.

--- --- ---

The house was fairly quiet when May and Anna arrived quite some time after Tracey and Chelsea and this left both girls curious. The first and only other time Anna had been to Pastoria, the only time the house was quiet was when everyone was asleep or gone. Between the constant bickering between the four roommates, the sound from someone's instrument or stereo, or the blaring of a television, the house was constantly noisy. Now though, the house was quiet; Ash, Abby, and Chelsea had gathered around the kitchen table with mugs of hot chocolate and were deep in conversation while Chris had gone to his room to call Bella on the phone. Tracey, Andrew, and Gary were nowhere to be seen and while May joined the three teens in the kitchen, Anna quickly made to seek out Gary's company, eager to pick up where they had left off in the bathroom that morning. She could easily guess where Andrew and Tracey were and finding Gary wasn't much harder considering the only places he could be other than his bedroom were the kitchen, living room, or someone else's bedroom. Judging by the closed door at the end of the hallway, he was in his own room.

The hallway was less quiet than the rest of the house, she could hear the noise from a tv in Andrew's room accompanied by the murmuring of voices but the sounds faded to silence as she walked closer to the far door and she wondered if Gary was even in the house. She hesitated slightly at the door and wondered if she should knock; she dismissed this thought and noisily opening the door and bounced in, expecting to catch Gary by surprise as he played on his laptop or read or lazed about while spacing out. She didn't expect to find him curled beneath the covers on the bed and sound asleep; even if she had known he was sleeping, she would be surprised to see him sleep through her loud and sudden appearance.

Anna smiled at the sight of Gary sleeping while she quietly closed the door behind her and silently crossed the room to lie next to him. As much as she wanted to simply curl up beside him and doze off, she knew it was only a short time before May would come get them for dinner and she knew that this would likely be the only chance for them to talk privately for the next few days. She ran her hands through his hair and tugged it lightly, frowning when he didn't wake. Sighing, she leaned over him and kissed him, knowing that it was a sure way to wake him.

He woke but barely returned the kiss before pulling away slightly and turned his head away drowsily. "I know you are _not_ that tired, Gary, get up," she said firmly as she pulled the blanket away from him.

"When did you get here?" Gary asked groggily, not even bothering to fight Anna for the comforter.

"Just a few minutes ago. We stopped to visit Monica for a bit, that's why it took us so long to get here." The only response Anna received was a sleepy groan as he snuggled under the covers once more. "Come on, at least acknowledge my presence!" She exclaimed, noticing Gary's obvious intention of going straight back to sleep. After their interruptions that morning, she wasn't about to let something else get in the way of this relationship going to another level. She had always cared deeply for her best friend, just short of loving him and she had been devastated every time he left Pallet for a new place – especially when he had left for Johto without telling anyone other than his grandfather. That caring had developed over time and it was obvious to anyone that it was the same with Gary; that had been made clear when May had confronted her around the time of Gary's sixteenth birthday and asked her if they were dating, then she didn't believe Anna when she said that they weren't. Michelle had always jokingly referred to them as lovebirds; Bella had always defended their relationship whenever May seemed to think that her brother's problems were a result of Anna's influence on him. Her own mother absolutely adored Gary and had been one of three people to encourage her to move the friendship to a romantic relationship – the other two people had of course been Bella and Michelle.

For awhile she had been content to sit back and let Gary control the pace of the relationship but she had quickly tired of this when she would see that certain look in his eyes or hear that content sigh whenever he wrapped his arms around her or when she would wake up in the morning to him playing with her hair after spending the night together. But now she was done with that. The feeling of his lips silently forming those words against her cheek or her throat had driven her crazy and the way he had come so close to saying it that morning had finally broken her patience. If Gary wanted to be shy and nervous then he could be like that around Kate or Ash, or even Tracey or Professor Oak – there was no reason for him to be that way with her, she had decided. After nine years of being best friends, five years of deep kisses that had always made her stomach knot in pleasure, and four years of sexual encounters, she at least deserved his honesty and trust when it came to his feelings for her. She had already told him about her feelings so what the _hell_ did he have to be so terrified over? She was done waiting on him, that was for sure – she had to quell this little fear of his before it put a strain on the relationship.

Smiling slightly at her decision, Anna sidled up next to him under the covers and pressed her body close against his. "Too bad we got interrupted this morning," she muttered silkily as she nuzzled his neck and slowly began sliding her hands along his back in a way that she knew drove him crazy. "I think we were having a pretty good moment there before Chelsea came in." Her lips began trailing a hot line along his shoulders and her hands slid under his shirt and around to his stomach.

A soft sigh escaped Gary but Anna could tell it wasn't pleasured despite the way her hands dipped ever so slightly into the waist of his jeans – something that _always_ caused him to utter one of those low pleasurably-teased moans that would send shivers through her.

"It seemed like we were really close to something special, babe," she pressed on before tantalizingly running her tongue along his throat.

"Anna, I'm not really in the mood for this right now," Gary said softly, unable to shake off the exhaustion that had fallen over him after that realization he had reached when reflecting on himself and Andrew.

Anna huffed loudly and rolled off of the bed suddenly. "Fine," she said irritably. "Go ahead and sleep; you're good at that – especially when you're scared of something." She stormed out of the room without hearing Gary's sad sigh.

She found herself in the kitchen a moment later and dropped into the seat next to May. "Your brother is a fucking pussy," she declared.

May smiled at this; Anna had told her what had happened that morning and explained why Gary had been so angry when they had been interrupted in his bedroom. "You've known this for years, sweetie; you shouldn't be surprised by it."

"I know," she muttered under her breath. "I'm just sick of it."

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Looks like things aren't exactly going to plan for Anna, she seems a bit frustrated…


	41. Chapter 41: Conversations

**Beyond The Walls**

A four chapter update to make up for updating far later than I would have liked. Between a microbiology exam, judging a science fair, training for tutoring thing I have to do at a local middle school for my education field experience class, and having to design an ecology lesson plan for my teaching methods class, I didn't have a lot of time to write.

Chapter 41: Conversations

Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves at The Carousel, a diner in Pastoria that was frequented by the college students and professors as well as Pastoria's expansive music community, seeing as there was a small hall nearby for local bands to play at. Being a Tuesday evening, the diner was nowhere near as crowded as it usually was whenever the group of teens went there. The again they usually went on Friday evenings for dinner before a party, or Saturday afternoons, or after seeing one their friend's bands play nearby, or on the way home from the concert venue in nearby Sunyshore. Despite the relatively small crowd, Gary could spot several people he knew, other than those who were sitting with him. David and Ben were both working the diner that night and Gary could see Ben wiping down a table across the room while David carried a tray of food to a table with several professors from the university. Charlotte was a few tables away with Missy, Ashley, and Beth; Chelsea had joined them as soon as she saw them – Gary was sorely tempted to join them as well. He had seen Nik come in with Logan, only to spot their group and turn tail while Logan shot an apologetic look Andrew's way; Gary couldn't help but notice the pained and guilty look on Nik's face when he had met his brother's eyes from across the large room. Surprisingly, Andrew had simply nodded a silent greeting to them and ignored the fact of their presence well after they had left; Gary and Tracey had both feared an emotional or volatile exchange between the two siblings.

Gary hadn't wanted to come, he had used every excuse he could think of to avoid coming and in the end, Chris had to drag him out of his bedroom just to get him to tag along. He had avoided Andrew the whole time, feeling such a confusing jumble of emotions when he saw his friend that he felt uncomfortable and somewhat ill. He chose to sit on the end of the table away from Andrew, which really only put a few chairs between them. He was stuck between Ash and Alex with only Abby and Ash as a buffer between him and Andrew; he had wanted to be further away but Monica had taken the end seat on the other side of Alex and May had taken the seat across from her along with Chris, Anna, and Tracey. Gary felt utterly incapable of speech as he found his thoughts constantly drifting to things that had happened between him and Andrew over the years; he couldn't even focus on the conversation that Alex was having with Chris, May, and Monica. He hadn't even been able to look Anna in the eye and it was obvious that it both angered and worried the girl.

The thoughts going through his head had made him so uncomfortable and so close to a state of mental panic that Gary hadn't felt even the slightest of hunger pangs, instead he felt nauseous and feverish. So here he was, sitting amongst everyone and feeling completely alone as he rested his arms on the table and stared down at the scuffed table top without really seeing anything. He felt too ill to eat and had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even heard Alex ask him if everything was alright until Alex's hand on his shoulder startled him enough to nearly knock over his glass of water.

"Gary, are you ok?" Alex asked him, looking far more worried than Gary had seen him in quite awhile.

"I'm fine," he quickly lied and reassured Alex that he was just tired from the long drive. He was certain that Alex had seen straight through this despite the way he seemed to accept the answer before turning back to his conversation. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Ash unconsciously fiddled with the silverware in front of him and his eyes fell on the knife. He immediately regretted looking when he felt that familiar ache in his arms. It wasn't even a sharp knife – just a simple, dull butter knife that could cause no harm. He still felt the urge and it made him feel even more sick as he tried to ignore it.

The urge kept building and Gary noticed a few minutes later that his hands were trembling from how strong it was. Remembering something that Shawn had told him over the phone weeks ago, Gary reached for his glass of water, fished out two ice cubes, and popped one in his mouth while discreetly slipping the other under the table. He pulled up the sleeve of his sweatshirt just enough to reveal a small expanse of forearm and slowly, deliberately trailed the ice across his skin, gasping softly at the sudden and sharp coldness that struck his flesh. Alex glanced at him for a second and Gary met his eyes calmly, as though nothing were wrong, as though he wasn't wishing the frozen water pressed against his arm was a sharp piece of metal.

He tossed the ice cube to the floor with a sudden sigh when he realized that this was doing little for him and put his head down on his crossed arms on the table. He felt helpless and wished there was something he could do about it.

Alex had heard the sigh and placed a hand on Gary's back. "Are you sure you're alright?" He asked softly.

Gary nodded his head but said "no" soft enough for only Alex to hear. At first he wondered if Alex had even heard him because he had simply straightened and resumed speaking with Monica but then Gary noticed his hand slip into his pocket and heard the ringer of Alex's cell phone a second later. Alex slipped the phone out of his pocket and flipped it open as though to check who was calling before standing up.

"I'll be right back," he assured the teens and Monica, only Gary had seen that no one had actually called. As he turned and pushed his chair in, he bowed his head towards Gary. "I'll be by the van," he said quietly so that no one would overhear the words.

Gary watched Alex walk outside and waited a minute before standing and following, muttering something about needing fresh air.

"I didn't think about how much being back in Pastoria would bother you after July," Alex said softly when Gary reached him in the parking lot.

"It's not that," Gary sighed as he leaned against the side of the van.

"Then what is it? I know something's bothering you since it's fairly obvious what you were doing with the ice."

"You noticed that?"

"I notice a lot of things, Gary. Especially when it comes to you. So what is it? You've been quiet, you haven't eaten anything, you haven't even looked at Andrew, and then the ice… you look so lost right now. Talk to me."

Gary sighed softly and crossed his arms tightly. Despite his earlier thoughts of telling Alex, he felt a nearly overwhelming need to just say it and get it out – mostly in hopes that it would seem ridiculous and untrue if he did say it, as though saying it would make it untrue. Even if it didn't make it go away, Alex could certainly help him sort out the thoughts, right? And it wasn't just his thoughts that were driving him crazy – it was his worry over Andrew and those cuts. He had to tell _someone_ about that, he couldn't just keep it to himself.

"What's going on, Gary?" Alex asked.

"A lot of things… You know how Andrew used to cut himself?" Alex nodded with a confused expression. "He did it again."

"What? He hasn't done that in years! What happened?"

"His father disowned him," Gary said quietly.

"Why? Andrew's a great kid – he's about to start working with one of the most predominant researchers in the world! What the hell could make someone disown him?"

Gary hung his head; Andrew had trusted him to keep quiet but this was Alex he was talking to and Alex viewed Andrew very much the same way he viewed Gary. And judging by his indignation at this news, he wouldn't react badly. "You can't tell anyone I said this but… Nik told their whole family that Andrew is gay. Andrew told Nik and they got in a fight and then Nik told everyone."

"I can't believe Nik would do that; they've been getting along so well lately… He never seemed to care whenever you two would joke around together…" Gary winced at the last part; part of him had been hoping that Alex had been sufficiently distracted to move the conversation as far away from himself as possible. Alex noticed the wince. "What is it?"

Gary groaned and mentally cursed himself. After a minute or so of panicked thoughts, he decided to just tell Alex. "I don't think everything was a joke…"

"Ok… What are you saying?"

"I think… Andrew was sort of a – a boyfriend," he finally said.

Alex seemed to relax. "Is that it?" He asked, wondering if that alone could have worked Gary up so much to behave the way he had inside the diner.

"Yeah," Gary replied in a small voice.

Alex couldn't help but laugh softly. "Seriously, Gary?" The teen nodded miserably at the same time Alex noticed a familiar blonde approaching them from across the parking lot. "Gary, look at me," Gary slowly raised his head to meet Alex's eyes. "So you had a boyfriend – big deal! You were fine with doing everything with Andrew, what's the big deal with putting a label on it? You've had a girlfriend before and you have one now; who cares?" Gary simply stared at him; this was not the reaction he expected. "Are you sure you're not over-thinking this? I mean, does Andrew view this the same way you do?"

"I don't know… Maybe I'm just freaking out for no reason. But you don't know everything, you never saw everything that went on –"

"I'm not sure I would have wanted to," Alex glanced over at the person who had silently joined them. "What do you think, Andrew?"

"I could have sworn he had realized that we were practically dating by now."

Gary tensed at the voice, having not noticed Andrew's appearance. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," Andrew replied with a shrug. "Alex, I think me and Gary need to talk; can you tell Abby and Trace that we'll meet them at the house?"

Alex glanced at Gary. "Is that what you want?"

"Well, I don't want to hang around here."

"Alright. I'm just glad it wasn't something too serious… for you at least. Andrew, let me know if you need anything."

"Thank, Alex, but talking to Abby and Tracey really helped; don't worry about me." He turned to Gary as he pulled the keys to his Nova out of his pocket. "Come on, you pussy."

--- --- ---

"Did it really take you this long to figure it out?" Andrew asked as he pulled the Nova out of the parking lot.

"Yeah… Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Because you would have either laughed it off or put so much thought into it that it would freak you out and then nothing would have been the same… You can't think about things like this, you have to just go with it and realize that things will work out in the end."

"But you wanted me to be with you, didn't you? Date you and –"

"You _were_ with me, Gary; you just didn't think about it. That's why I didn't really date anyone," Andrew told him.

"You had three girlfriends – "

"Not really," Andrew interrupted. "I 'dated' them to cover up what was going on between us. I don't know how I would've responded if someone asked me about what was going on between us, so it was easier to just cover it up that way it wouldn't freak you out."

Gary sighed, he felt so guilty over passing off a relationship as a joke. "I feel terrible now – I thought it was all a joke and then I slept with so many of the girls too!"

"I fucked them too and you knew it. I don't regret it, Gary. I thought of you as my boyfriend and my best friend in my head and I wouldn't change that even if I could. I liked everything that happened between us and I still do; it was never really a formal relationship and that's what I liked about it. I even referred to it as a joke too, remember?"

"I'm sorry," Gary said softly.

Andrew groaned and looked over at him. "How fucking stupid are you, Gary? I just told you I don't regret it, don't be sorry!" He pulled up at a red light and took the opportunity to undo his seatbelt and lean closer to Gary. He pressed their lips together and kissed him forcefully, eagerly allowing Gary's taste to roll over his tongue and contently permitting his younger friend's presence to take over his senses. They pulled away gasping for breath some time later but Andrew didn't remove his hand from Gary's face. "_Don't_ let this change anything, Gary. I mean it; you're my best friend and I wouldn't change it for a fucking thing. We're best friends that dated, no big deal. We're both moving on to other people, it's nothing so don't you dare start thinking about it as anything other than what it is. Got it?"

"Yes," Gary replied.

"Good," Andrew slipped his seatbelt back on and put the car back into gear as the light changed. A few minutes passed with the silence only broken by the stereo. "You know… Trace guessed awhile back that I liked you. I told him that it was a joke between us, just so you know."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"It's just so… I don't know. It's just confusing."

"Fuck, Gary; you are _such_ a girl! Just get over it, it's not like it changes anything."

"Yeah, but – "

"But nothing! You think too much – you do realize that you're digging your own grave with all of that thinking, right? Keep worrying about stupid shit that you don't need to worry about and you're gonna die of a heart attack."

"Fine, I won't think about it." He fell quiet for awhile before a question that had been circulating his mind finally got to him. "Did you always think of –"

"No," Andrew interrupted. "I didn't think about it until after the thing with Lauren. Everything just came naturally… I think that's why I liked it so much. It seems almost like the best relationships are the ones that end up starting before they even begin; they're the most natural, you know what I mean?"

"Not really," Gary said.

"Actually you do. You and Anna? You two are like that and they way you two were is almost like we were. It's almost like what's going on with me and Trace, actually," Andrew said thoughtfully.

"When are you going to ask him out?"

"For me to know and you to find out… And by the way, thanks for having me talk to Abby; she was really supportive and that's what I really needed right then."

Gary smiled. Things were starting to make sense now; somehow just vocalizing his thoughts had made things seem clearer. Doing so hadn't made the entire situation go away, it just showed him how pitiful his worries and thoughts were. Something about Andrew calling him a pussy or a girl this time around had snapped something in him; perhaps it was in combination with what Ash had said in the car, but one thing was for sure – this had been the final straw. He had to grow up and that's exactly what he was going to do.

--- --- ---

She always seemed to look prettiest when she had just gotten out of the shower or just after sex when her face still held that orgasmic flush. The former situation was the current one and Anna was laying on her stomach on the bed with her hair leaving damp trails along her back. She hadn't bothered to get dressed when Gary had taken her place in the shower and a primitive part of him appreciated it greatly as he took in the sight of her creamy skin and the way her flesh curved in all the right places. A more thoughtful side of him was bit annoyed that she hadn't dressed as her body was one of the biggest distractions he could possibly face; as long as he could keep his hands to himself, it wouldn't be that big of a problem, he figured. Gary realized _that _wasn't going to happen as he locked the door behind him and felt himself become aroused when she rolled onto her back to face him. Every part of him ached for her. The things Andrew and Ash had said throughout the day had brought the words back to the tip of his tongue and the disappointment from that morning had ignited something in him and drove him closer to the bed. The many events of the long day left his body simply dying for her touch.

One heated glance from her sent shivers through him; her anger towards him had abated quickly when she noticed his behavior at dinner. Gary dropped the towel that he had been holding around his waist and ignored the urge to smirk at the devilish smile that curved Anna's lips as her eyes ghosted over his body. Remembering some of the things she had said that afternoon when she had come into the room earlier, he walked to the bed and climbed onto it.

"It's too bad Chelsea interrupted us this morning," he murmured, nearly quoting Anna's earlier words as his body slid over hers. "Things were going really good," the feeling of his hard member pressed against her was making his head spin with desire as he began pressing kisses against her collarbone. "But I think things are going even better right now… For starters," his mouth began trailing down to her breast. "We're both naked and you look absolutely beautiful," he said before placing his mouth on her breast and biting softly. The moan that went through her caused him to shudder and he had to force himself to stop flicking his tongue against her flesh and keep speaking. "So I think this is a much better time to tell you that…" Gary slowly moved his mouth up to her ear. "I love you," he whispered.

With a small smirk, he leaned down and kissed her, unable to keep down a groan as her tongue slipped into his mouth. Her hands were all over in no time, smoothly trailing along his still-damp flesh and agonizingly teasing him. The taste of her lips and the feel of her body beneath him made it nearly impossible to focus on the way his own hands were carefully mapping out every sensitive spot along her torso. When he finally slid inside her, it took all of his effort not to come immediately; he couldn't remember it ever feeling this good and he had to wait until he was positive he wasn't going to climax before he began to move inside of her. At some point during it, she gently pushed him onto his back and positioned herself over him – he had quickly pulled her down so that her chest was pressed against his.

As Anna felt him begin to tense and heard his breath becoming more rapid, she pulled away from him just enough to meet his eyes. "I love you too," she said softly, watching his eyes flutter closed as he came. She sighed as she felt his body relax against the sheets and slipped off of him to snuggle against his chest. She waited until Gary's breathing had slowed and his body had relaxed entirely against hers before speaking in a teasing voice. "Took you long enough."

"It was totally worth the wait," he replied drowsily and she laughed softly before they slipped off into sleep.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Well, after that last scene, I'm starting to think I should change the genre of this story to romance!

The Carousel is after of a diner in New York (Long Island, somewhere in Bayshore, if I remember correctly) that stands out in my mind from my visits to my homeland. It's seriously been far too long since I visited my hometown (West Islip) and family on Long Island and boy am I craving some real NY style pizza, bagels, and an enormous egg cream (there's no egg in it and it tastes like a carbonated chocolate milk – sounds weird as hell but it's awesome). Anywho…

I think I'm going to take a week-long break from _BtW_ and take that time to work on _Changes_ so that it can finally be posted. I said a few chapters ago that I had an idea for an egoshipping fic and I have decided that I am definitely going to go with that idea but I really need a name for it….


	42. Chapter 42: Differences Part 2

**Beyond The Walls**

A slightly longer than usual delay due to an insane amount of school work (4 papers, 2 exams, 4 quizzes, 3 mini-teach presentations, and a microbiology unknown project), a particularly unpleasant bout of strep throat, and then that little login glitch that had. Hope you guys enjoy this three chapter update! I'd like to think updates will start coming a bit faster once our beloved characters get the hell out of Sinnoh – I know I will be spending the next week writing a lot (it's my spring break!).

This one's for you, Arch-trainer, since you said you were looking forward to it!

Chapter 42: Differences Part 2

He felt like he was going to go insane. It had been nearly two weeks since he had even thought of Gary in a more-than-friendly way and he had been forced to admit that he was entirely and irrevocably removed from Gary's radar. He'd come to realize that he actually liked this fact and the reasoning behind that was exactly why he felt like he was losing his mind. How had Tracey come to this point? It was a simple answer – two of them actually: Andrew and Anna.

Something had changed in Gary and he wasn't quite sure what it was but he knew it had something to do with Anna, considering the way they were constantly acting around each other. He was suddenly so much more playful and relaxed than Tracey had ever seen him before and watching the way he interacted with Andrew only caused his fondness for the blonde boy to grow. There was just _something_ in the way they laughed and joked or shouted and hit each other that made Tracey simply want to kiss him. He had been hoping to spend more time alone with Andrew than he had gotten to – Abby's constant presence made it difficult for anything to happen with Andrew. He had hoped that the New Year's party at Beth's house on Wednesday would have provided them with a chance to slip off alone but instead the boy had spent most of his time playing guitar, leaving behind a frustrated Tracey. His frustration had grown even deeper when he saw various couples sneak off throughout the night; it made him wish he were in a relationship.

Unfortunately, he seemed to have poor luck with relationships: the first was awkward and ended for no real reason after only two weeks, the second was much less awkward and even led to a few kissing sessions that his sixteen-year-old body had been eager to participate in; but that ended a mere two months later when he realized that he couldn't stand overly feminine males and when his boyfriend had decided to come out as gay. And then the third one… People often said that the third time was a charm and Tracey had to scoff at this – the third one had been the most painful. It had lasted nearly a year – eleven months to be exact – and he had thought that he was in love; typical of teenagers in their first long-term relationship. He'd worked hard at making that relationship work even when it was kept secret from many people but that proved to not be enough when he caught his boyfriend with one of the few other gay teens in the town. That had been painful enough, what was even more painful was being told that it was his own fault because he was insecure with himself. He hadn't been himself for days, perhaps weeks, afterwards until he realized that it actually wasn't his fault; nevertheless, he decided to avoid relationships and getting involved with other guys. Then Gary came home and, perhaps out of eagerness to forget about those eleven wasted months, he quickly grew to liking him. He had poured all of his pent up frustration and anger towards his last boyfriend into the happenings between himself and Gary and the result was that electrically passionate _thing _that took place over the course of a couple of weeks. It was enough to get him out of the funk he was in and it made him realize that he actually _did_ want a relationship that could be out in the open, that didn't have to be kept secret.

Tracey wondered what Gary had been thinking when he encouraged him to spend time with Andrew on Halloween – had it been guilt over what had happened between them before Gary ditched him for Anna? Perhaps Gary had wanted to distract Tracey from himself, but that didn't seem right… Perhaps he thought that the two would genuinely hit it off; if so, he had been right. From the start, there had been something about Andrew that intrigued Tracey and he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. Maybe it had been the way Andrew let him choose the outcome of anything they did, maybe it was Andrew's playful nature that hid a profound maturity. Maybe it even had something to do with that almost-badboy image that Andrew had with his language and sexual jokes, his scars and lip ring, his long hair and black nail polish that never seemed to vanish from his nails. He was certainly unlike anyone else Tracey had ever met and Tracey loved the fact that there was a caring and sweet side to him.

He found that staying in this small house enabled him to discover the little quirks to Andrew's personality that he hadn't noticed when he had stayed in Pallet. The more he found out about the boy, the more he realized how truly different he and Gary really were. He had initially thought that there were many similarities between the two boys but he quickly realized that wasn't exactly the case.

The two argued constantly, whether it was with each other, their siblings, or their roommates; but Andrew was generally far more playful than Gary, who was merely stubborn. They tied each other for the title of the most sarcastic person Tracey had ever met but, while Andrew was simply a smartass nearly constantly, Gary had managed to turn sarcasm into an art and was capable of subtlety that made it difficult to tell when he wasn't being sardonic. Never before had Tracey seen this particular trait of Gary's presented so blatantly and he actually found himself being amazed at the boy's ability to contain himself when Andrew wasn't around. Despite the fact that Andrew's smart comments were unceasing and annoying beyond belief, he found it to be amusing and almost enjoyable. In a way, it was almost cute; not quite as cute as the face he would make when he was concentrating hard on playing something on guitar, but cute nonetheless. He loved Andrew's hyperactivity and was constantly laughing at the way it either clashed with Gary's usually serious and mature nature or brought out a side of Gary that was nearly equally childish and energetic. Watching them either argue or play around with each other not only fascinated and amused him, but it made Tracey long for not Gary but Andrew. He found Andrew's severe ADD a hilarious relief from Gary's equally severe OCD; particularly whenever Andrew began playing air drums with anything he could get his hands on – especially whenever he started dancing around when he did it.

Andrew had astounded Tracey with how accident prone he was and the way Gary constantly attended to his wounds astounded him nearly as much, considering how many of them were caused by the younger of the two. It was kind of fun to watch them chase or tackle or, in general, beat the crap out of each other; but it was even more fun to watch them gang up on Chelsea and tickle her until she screamed for mercy or until Chris broke them up. I was just as fun to watch them team together to relentlessly annoy Chris, even more so when they turned on each other randomly while Chris would roll his eyes.

Everything the blonde boy did fascinated Tracey and he found himself constantly watching him in hopes of catching some new quirk that he hadn't yet noticed. There were so many little things that he had already caught and he wondered if Andrew would run out of quirks before Tracey had his fill; he desperately hoped that wouldn't happen. The quirks were what truly made Andrew who he was and Tracey couldn't help but find them cute or amusing, despite how much they annoyed other people. Whenever someone said 'God', he would correct them by yelling 'Odin!' – something Anna had quickly picked up on. He would randomly switch between German and English, sometimes in midsentence, just to keep Gary or Charlotte on their toes. He liked to break into song in a high-pitched falsetto during quiet times, especially Journey and Kansas songs that Tracey recognized from the radio station that May and Professor Oak often listened to. He would constantly quote movies and tv shows, especially Scrubs, to see who would notice. Whenever he was nervous or distracted, he would pull his hair over one should and smooth it in his hands over and over until someone, usually Gary, would tell him to stop. He constantly made faces at Chris, Chelsea, and Abby when their backs were turned even though this usually resulted in him getting hit, especially when he did it to one of the girls; according to Chris, the only reason he didn't do it to Gary was because Gary tended to seek some form of revenge.

Tracey hadn't expected to find out about Gary's mean streak but he found himself almost grateful to see it. Without it, he wouldn't have found out about Andrew's arachnophobia or the amusing fact that Andrew's scream had a higher pitch than Anna's; he found that out when Gary picked up a particularly large spider in the kitchen and threw it at his friend – the end result was a vicious bruise that Gary still had on his arm three days later. He'd also learned that Andrew couldn't use the bathroom when someone was within ten feet of the door when Gary would walk past the door and bang on it just to annoy him; this usually resulted in Andrew threatening to kill him in a shriek that could be heard across the house.

It wasn't all fun and games though – despite how cheerful Andrew seemed to be as he took time each day to carefully pack innumerable belongings into cardboard boxes, Tracey could see that what had happened with his brother weighed heavily on his mind. There were times when Andrew would appear lost in thought; he tended to slowly finger his lip ring whenever he did this, much like the way Gary would run his tongue over his own lip ring as a nervous habit. Then there times when he got depressed and would either lay down in his dark bedroom for hours in silence or would stare out a window or at the tv without really seeing anything. It seemed that he wasn't the only one concerned with the situation though; the look on Nik's face at the diner on Tuesday showed that, as did the way he and Andrew avoided each other on the New Year's party at Beth's house on Wednesday night.

These episodes of unhappiness that seemed to plague Andrew didn't begin to occur until Abby left on Wednesday for her grandparent's house. It was now Friday and now that the big moving day was fast approaching, Andrew seemed anxious and fretful as he carefully wrapped his sword collection in sheets and towels; not even Gary seemed to be able to get him to calm down entirely. Perhaps he was simply eager to be able to put Sinnoh completely behind him, but Tracey guessed that part of the reason behind his anxiety was the fact that he and his brother had yet to make up.

**--- --- ---**

**::Author's Notes::**

This is probably the shortest chapter I've done in a long time! Since Differences part 1, I believe. Anyways, next chapter definitely makes up for the lack of action in this one – and by the way, we're going to see an interesting side of Gary in it (which will be a nice break from him being a pussy as in the last few chapters). So fasten your seatbelts for chapter 43 because it's going to be a ride. : )

God, I'm a nerd… Excuse me, _Odin_, as Andrew would correct.

_Changes_ is coming very quickly, I swear. It's now at about five chapters, but I'm going to try getting maybe one or two more before posting it. I'm also working on my egoshipping fic which now has the possible title of _Differential_ and I'm hoping to get a chance to work more on that and get it up. And on top of that I have an idea for another fic that I want to get to work on, considering it involves my favorite underdone pairing: Gary/Tracey. It's going to actually be an adventurous story with surprisingly little of the couple and a working title for it is _Adventures In Hoenn_. No promises on when either of these two will be put up; rest assured that _Changes_ is promised and that _BtW_ is my main priority considering I have many things planned for our beloved characters.

Arch-trainer: I cracked up laughing when you called Gary a pussy! His biggest downfall is definitely his overactive mind. I'm glad Abby came off as a typical rotten little sister, as you put it, I was a bit worried that she came off as kind of random. I'm also glad you liked that last part – I was hoping it wasn't too cheesy! Thanks as always!


	43. Chapter 43: Plans

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 43: Plans

Gary was nervous as he stopped his Camaro in front of the house that Tim and Charlotte shared with Ben. He had already talked to Charlotte and her fiancé about this – the plan had been Charlotte's idea in the first place. It was a crazy idea that had a good chance of failing but it was a plan nonetheless. It was Friday evening and that meant one thing for Tim, David, Logan, Damien, and Nik: band practice, which usually also included many hours of simply hanging out. He climbed out of the low car and walked into the garage through the side door without bothering to knock; no one ever knocked when the garage was in use.

Tim was sitting at a large desk with computers and equipment set up strategically while Ben was at a keyboard stand a few feet away, playing some sort of neoclassical melody; they were obviously in the middle of recording so Gary quietly made his way across the room to sit on the futon that was set up along the wall near the door to the house. He sat silently for several minutes, watching them do take after take of a melody he knew he could play easily, as he waited for them to finish. Damien came in a few minutes after him and quickly joined him on the futon; Gary was surprised to see that, despite the several inches of snow on the ground, Damien was wearing his usual cutoff jeans and converse sneakers along with a sweatshirt and leather coat.

"Tim told me about this little plan you and Charlotte figured out," he called over the high volume of Ben's keyboard as he shrugged off his jacket.

"You didn't tell Alex, did you?" Gary asked wearily. Alex would be _very_ angry with him if he knew about it and Gary would certainly earn a few sharp smacks to the back of the head for it when Alex did find out.

"No. I'm pissed at Nik for what he did to Andrew – selling his brother out like that, the little bastard. You know he said something about you and Andrew, uh… well, putting your tongue ring to good use," he said uncomfortably.

Gary frowned; first Andrew, now him. "Nik just earned a good kick to the balls for that," he huffed in return.

"So it's true then?"

"Andrew and I dated for over a year; what do you think?"

Damien looked surprised but said nothing about it. "Nik's lucky it's true then. I told him I would beat the shit out of him if he was saying lies about you just to drag down his brother's best friend."

"He's getting the shit beaten out of him either way…" Gary muttered under his breath as David came in the garage with his guitar in tow.

He stopped when he saw Gary and grinned. "Oh god, Tim's replaced me!" He cried raising a hand to his mouth in mock-surprise.

Gary couldn't help but laugh at this. "Fuck, no! You know a band isn't my thing."

"Good, I was a bit worried for a minute. How's Andrew doing?"

"Pretty depressed actually; could be worse though. Talking to Abby and Tracey seemed to help him a bit."

They talked for several minutes, mostly about what had been going on in the past few weeks since Gary had seen David and Damien. David told him that Nik hadn't been himself for nearly two weeks – since everything had happened with Andrew; he even said that the younger sibling had wanted to make up with his brother but was worried about what Andrew's response would be. Damien had hissed that Andrew wasn't the one Nik should be worried about and this surprised Gary greatly. Normally Damien was so calm and collected but apparently Nik's actions had thoroughly angered him, not that Gary could blame him. He wondered whether he should believe what David had said and found himself oddly torn – part of him wanted to believe his friend, after all, Tim had said something similar but another part of him simply wanted to hurt Nik for screwing over his brother so horribly. Then again, the plan went along with both parts of him.

Logan and Nik arrived soon after and Gary was quite surprised when he saw his best friend's younger brother. He had been so caught up in his thoughts at the diner several nights earlier that he hadn't noticed how haggard Nik appeared. He looked thinner than usual, his eyes had dark circles under them, and his hair seemed almost scraggly compared to what was normal for the boy. Gary almost felt bad for him. _Almost_. Loyalty to his best friend, as well as anger over what Damien had told him, kept him from feeling too sorry. He quickly noticed that Nik seemed unable to meet his eyes; he also seemed out of it as they all warmed up after Tim and Ben finished their recording. He had messed up horribly several times before Gary followed Ben into the house about half an hour into the practice.

"Charlotte the harlot!" He called out wearily once in the house, smiling slightly when Charlotte stepped out of the kitchen.

"At your service – fifteen quid is all I ask for," she grinned as Gary chuckled softly.

"We've been listening to too much Iron Maiden," he muttered in response to their song references.

"Maybe. Well, what do you think of Nik?"

"How many people did he tell about –"

"Everyone."

"Suddenly I don't have any pity for him anymore. I'm gonna kill the little fuck for that – seriously, it was none of his business!"

"Yeah, but it wasn't exactly that much of a secret what you and Andrew were doing."

"I know that but still; fucking Judas! First Andrew, then me. Friends don't do that!" Gary fumed.

"As much as I agree with you, Gary," Charlotte began slowly. "I'd rather see you take it out on Nik, not on me." Part of her was surprised to see Gary so angry but another part was even more surprised to see that he hadn't jumped at the first opportunity to punch Nik – one trait of Gary's that she admired was his loyalty to his friends. Friend or not, Nik was not in a good place with Gary right now. "You know you want to…" Gary sighed and she could see that he was sorely tempted. "We had a plan, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," he muttered.

"Then go get him!"

Gary frowned but turned back towards the garage and walked to the door. Charlotte's plan had been to get Nik to admit that he was sorry about what he did to his brother and the only way to do that was to anger him enough to have some sort of outburst. There was really only one way to do that but Gary found himself rather apathetic to the idea of picking a fight; Alex was going to be sorely disappointed him and it didn't help matters that he lived across the street from Tim and Charlotte. He liked to think that he had gained some maturity since Tuesday night; he had been more open and more carefree than he had been in close to a year just in the past few days and it felt relieving. He didn't want to let go of that newfound maturity…

Still, no one would hurt his best friend without some sort of vengeance.

'Let this be some crazy dream – I'll just wake up in Pallet and none of this will have happened,' he thought as he hesitated at the garage door.

"Just do it," Charlotte called from down the hall.

He pushed the door open and sent a brief, almost-apologetic glance at Tim before quickly setting his gaze on Nik.

"Nik!" The blonde boy glanced up and seemed to sigh inwardly at the sight of an obviously angry Gary. Gary beckoned him over and turned to walk back down the hall towards Charlotte when he followed. 'Just pretend it's another time, another place… like the time Andrew nearly broke the Warwick bass… he nearly got his nose broken for that,' he mused to himself as he heard the garage door close and Nik's footsteps trail along behind him.

They headed to the back door and Charlotte followed them out into the yard. The sun had since dropped below the horizon and the night was a deep black beyond the glow of the outside lights; it was eerily foreboding. In the shadowy light, Gary could barely make out Charlotte's form leaning against the door several feet behind Nik. The two teen boys met each other's eyes and Gary shook his head slightly, his hand lashed out and struck Nik's cheek in a sharp backhand.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Gary hissed. Nik staggered slightly from the blow but didn't retaliate.

"What are you so mad at me for?" Nik asked softly, surprising Gary; Nik was never soft-spoken.

He had to fight to stay angry at the boy; if he and Charlotte didn't piss him off enough to retaliate then they wouldn't be able to get the two brothers to make up. They were just too stubborn. "Don't say you don't know."

Nik sighed. "It's between me and Andrew," he muttered.

"Don't lie, Nik; you told everyone about me – I think it's between us too."

By this time the boys were slowly circling each other. "You don't know what you're talking about," Nik sneered.

"Bull shit!" Gary's fist connected with Nik's jaw suddenly, knocking the boy off balance. He stepped closer to Nik and shoved him hard as he put his leg behind Nik's, knocking him to the ground.

Nik's hand grabbed onto Gary's sweatshirt and dragged him down as he fell and they tumbled on the ground, the moisture from the snow soaking into their sweatshirts. Gary gasped sharply as Nik's hand struck his face and winced at the pain he felt in his lip, fortunately he hadn't been wearing the lip ring or else it would've been worse. He snarled softly, now thoroughly pissed off, and slammed Nik's shoulders against the ground after swiping at the blood dripping from his mouth.

"Asshole!"

"Go make out with your boyfriend – no one will be surprised now that they know about you two!"

"You think you're so much better than us, Nik? Neither of us would've done what you did, you little traitor! You're supposed to support your siblings!"

"How else was I supposed to react?"

Gary shoved Nik back down as he tried to wriggle out of his grasp. "Oh, I don't know – maybe by not telling your father! You knew exactly what was going to happen when you did that!"

"You don't know shit," Nik snarled as they exchanged blows. "You don't know how it feels when your brother suddenly leaves for no reason and then ditches you for that shit he used to do –"

"That doesn't matter! Andrew's always tried being there for you and you completely betrayed him and now your father disowned him entirely! And guess who's fucking fault that is," Gary hissed through clenched teeth.

"I didn't think my father would do that! I thought he would try to make an effort with us if he knew about Andrew –"

"You have a screwed up sense of reality, you know that?" He took in a sharp breath of air as Nik punched him hard in the stomach. "You have no idea what you did to your brother, you pathetic piece of shit! Do you have any idea what he's been going through?"

Nik scoffed. "Oh, why don't you go slit your wrists over it! You're good at that, aren't you?"

Something in Gary snapped at the comment and their argument quickly escalated to shouts as he began punching Nik as hard as he could. They were too busy practically trying to kill each other to notice the back door open behind Charlotte and two figures cross the lawn until Gary felt hands grasp his shoulders and drag him away from Nik. Still furious from Nik's comment, Gary wrenched himself from the person's grip and spun to face them, then froze. He paled at the sight of Alex glaring at him.

"What has gotten into you, Gary?" He demanded sharply.

Gary glanced behind him to see David help up Nik as Damien walked across the lawn to stand by Alex. "You said you didn't tell him!" He hissed at Damien.

"I didn't; he heard you two yelling at each other," the young man replied calmly.

"You didn't tell me what?" Alex asked, turning and dragging Gary towards the house. "You know what, I don't care. I know you're mad at Nik for what he did to Andrew but this was entirely uncalled for, Gary! Wait until your grandfather finds out – you know, your parents would be awfully disappointed in you for this. You should have left it to Nik and Andrew to sort it out; it's not like he did anything to you!"

"Actually, he did, Alex," Damien correctly quietly as Alex ushered Gary into a chair in the kitchen and Charlotte followed them in with a clean towel from the closet in the hall.

Alex glanced at Damien before turning his harsh gaze back to the teen sitting before him. "Is this true?"

Gary nodded silently as Charlotte ran the towel under warm water and began wiping blood from his lip where Nik had hit him. He didn't trust his voice after the comment Nik had made or after the things Alex had said. The comment about his parents had struck deeply… David and Nik entered the room, the latter dropping into a chair as far from Gary as he could possibly manage. Gary was surprised to see the bruises emerging on the younger boy and wondered briefly whether or not Andrew would be mad at him for beating his younger brother so badly. The plan hadn't included this; then again, they hadn't expected Nik to say something like he did.

"I'm extremely disappointed, Gary," Alex said with a soft sigh as he took the cloth from Charlotte and continued her ministrations while she fetched an ice pack for the other boy. "I have half a mind to call your grandfather right now and have you explain to him why exactly you're bleeding. Don't you shake your head at me – you know better than to pull a stunt like this!" Gary cringed at the harsh tone; he couldn't remember ever seeing Alex so angry.

Gary lowered his eyes to the floor and wished he were someplace else.

"It wasn't his idea, Alex." Charlotte's voice said suddenly and Gary could almost feel Alex's glare lifting from him for a moment. "It was mine and Tim's but it got out of hand… We knew that Nik didn't mean for everything with Andrew to happen, pathetic little brat that he is," she added in a hiss as she glared at Nik for a second before returning her voice to normal. "But he's too stubborn to admit it so we figured if we picked a fight that he would finally come out and say it."

Alex sighed and turned back to Gary. "Is that true?"

"For the most part," he muttered in response.

"For the most part?" Alex echoed and shook his head. "How exactly did this get out of hand?"

Gary was about to respond when Nik's voice cut him off unexpectedly. "I said something about him cutting himself."

Alex looked down at Gary and met his eyes briefly, now understanding exactly what he had walked into when he broke them up.

"Good thing Charlotte didn't tell me that when she came to get me," Damien spoke up. "I would've let him beat the shit out you for that," he shot at Nik, who slumped in his chair as he held the ice pack to his jaw.

"Then you'd be in just as much trouble as he is," Alex spoke up, gesturing to Gary. Damien frowned but continued to glare at Nik until Logan spoke up.

"We should finish practicing," he looked over at Nik. "Are you actually going to be able to play or should we beat you up some more until you're not depressed?"

"I can play my parts just fine!"

"That explains how many times you went out key."

"You don't even know the songs, Gary!"

"No, but I know Tim refuses to write out of key, so anything you play–"

"Drop it, Gary!" Alex snapped.

Both boys fell silent and met each other's eyes stubbornly until Tim added his voice to the mix. "He has a point, you know. You haven't been able to play properly since this whole thing with Andrew started; maybe you should make up with him so that we can actually get stuff done."

Silence came over the group and it was apparent that everyone agreed with Tim, even Nik, although he didn't voice it. After an awkward moment, David suggested returning to the garage and his band mates agreed and followed him out of the kitchen. Charlotte, Gary, and Alex remained in the kitchen still trapped in the awkward silence. Charlotte began puttering around the kitchen and Gary followed her movements with his eyes only so that he didn't have to look at Alex. The sound of footsteps in the hallway forced him to look up as Ben came in the room.

Ben paused and took in the sight of Gary sitting at the table, still dabbing at his lip with a towel, and Alex pacing across the room while Charlotte noisily put away dishes. "Did I miss something?" He asked in a slightly confused way.

"God, Ben!" Charlotte exclaimed with an eye roll as she slammed the silverware drawer shut. "Don't tell me you didn't hear anything that happened?"

Ben shook his head with a grin. "No, I was busy writing something, here, listen!" He left the room excitedly and a moment later they could hear his fingers hitting the keys on the keyboard in the next room.

Charlotte sighed and sat down next to Gary. "Clueless, as always," she muttered before raising her voice. "It helps to turn it on, Ben!"

The redhead returned a moment later and sat down at the table. "How did it sound?"

Gary stared at him blankly before breaking into laughter. "We can always count on you to break an awkward silence, Benny-boo," Charlotte replied with a small laugh as Gary put his head in his hands, still laughing nearly-hysterically.

Alex shook his head as he took in the scene before, grudgingly letting a small smile curve his lips. After a short time, he and Gary left Charlotte and Ben alone in the kitchen and walked across the street to his and Monica's house. Entering the average sized house that was so different from the mansion he had grown up in was akin to coming home for Gary; although he had only lived in the house for a year, he had visited several times as a young pokemon trainer and would often stay whenever he wasn't feeling well or whenever he had gotten in a bad fight with Andrew after he had moved in with his roommates. The house was generally more cozy than his back in Pallet, perhaps because of how small it was, perhaps because of how personal it seemed with comfortable furniture and pictures and books all over the place. It wasn't the most tidy place and it felt like the perfect house for a small family; it gave him the same comforting feeling that May's room did. Unfortunately, it lost much of its appeal with Alex obviously angry with him and, judging by the missing Scion in the driveway and the open garage, Monica wasn't home, leaving him alone. He didn't have much time to wonder where Monica was as Alex led him through the house and into the kitchen.

"I'm at a bit of a loss for words, Gary," Alex said softly as he rummaged in the freezer before pulling out a bag of frozen strawberries and tossing it to Gary. "That should help a bit… You know, part of me is pretty pissed at you for what you did," he said slowly as he began looking through cabinets and pulling various items out. "Another part is kind of happy to see that you're finally getting out of this funk you've been in since, I don't know; April, May?"

Gary said nothing as he watched Alex put a pot of water on the stove. He frowned when Alex suddenly laughed quietly. "What?"

Alex turned to face him and leaned against the counter. "I was just thinking… Sam always says how much you're like your father but, in reality, you're a lot more like your mother. Jeremy was too much of a wuss to get in fights with anyone other than me," he said with a grin. "Alice was the one that argued and got in fights with other people; that woman was so stubborn… Must be something about redheads."

"My hair's not red though," Gary complained quietly, ignoring Alex's soft laugh.

"Close enough when you spend enough time in the sun. How's your lip? Still hurt?" Gary nodded, wincing slightly as the frozen fruit bumped the forming bruise underneath the injury. He watched as Alex pulled a bottle out of a cabinet and poured a small amount of liquid into two shot glasses and passed one off to Gary. "Your father and I would do shots of tequila after getting in fights," he explained as Gary gave him a bewildered look.

Gary hesitantly downed the shot, hissing in pain as the alcohol burned against his lip. "Are you sure you didn't have another idea in mind when you gave that to me?" He asked after the pain had subsided slightly.

Alex smiled wryly. "Of course I had another idea; consider that your punishment for what you did. I know Nik deserved it and I understand why it got out of hand but it doesn't make it right."

"I'm sorry," Gary muttered, turning the small glass in his hands as he avoided Alex's eyes.

"That's nice to know, Gary, but I'm not the one you should be saying that too." Alex replied flatly as he kept a careful eye on the pasta he had just dumped into the pot on the stove.

"You expect me to apologize to Nik?"

"Well you did beat the shit out of him, it's the least you could do."

"I guess…"

"Enough about Nik. How have you been since Tuesday? Chris said you've been acting more like yourself lately."

"I told Anna."

"That's good because I ordered a ring for her – and you are absolutely forbidden to tell anyone other than your sister!"

"Okay, okay; chill out! My god…"

Alex smirked as he began plating the rather simple dinner of pasta and tomato sauce. "Don't you mean 'Odin'?"

Gary groaned loudly and slumped in his chair. "Not you too! Anna started doing that and it's driving me crazy!"

"That's what girlfriends are for."

--- --- ---

It was getting close to midnight when Gary returned to Tim and Charlotte's after spending several hours hanging out with Alex. He'd stayed until Monica returned from an outing with friends and was looking forward to hanging out with his friends now that the awkwardness of the situation with Nik had most likely passed. Alex hadn't brought up the fight again and Gary was grateful for that as he was rather embarrassed for losing it the way he had. By the time he returned to the garage, Jon and Shawn had come over and were hanging out on beanbag chairs in a corner with Charlotte; he quickly joined them but found himself easily distracted from their conversation as he watched the other boys play a Blind Guardian song with Ben on the keyboard. He smirked when Ben went off on a tangent and began playing something entirely different, causing David to yell at him while Tim, Nik, and Damien continued playing the song. Gary had to force himself to stay in the small group and listen to them argue over some book while he wanted to join the musicians on the other side of the room. After another hour or so, his friends began to leave and he knew he would have to return to the house soon to spend the night with Anna before someone began to get worried about where he has disappeared off to. He was debating on leaving when he heard footsteps behind him and Nik's voice quietly ask to talk to him.

Curious about what the boy had to say, Gary followed him outside and leaned against Charlotte's car, waiting for him to speak. Between the dark night and the flickering light from the dying streetlight further down the road, Gary could barely make out Nik's features as the teen shifted his weight and fidgeted awkwardly.

"I'm sorry for what I said," Nik said gruffly after a moment or so.

Gary crossed his arms over his chest, only partially because it was quite cold and he was only wearing his sweatshirt over long sleeves. "For which part?"

"For what I said about cutting yourself and," he sighed offhandedly. "And for telling everyone that you and my brother were involved… I didn't realize that part was actually true –"

"Then why did you say it in the first place?" Gary snapped.

"I don't know," Gary scoffed at the response. "I just got really mad about everything and just kind of… blurted it out."

"Oh, let me guess; you told your entire family about Andrew just because you 'got really mad'. You've got to be kidding me! What, were you jealous?"

"No, I wasn't! I told everyone because I wanted attention from my parents for once! All I hear about every time we get stuck hanging out with the family is Andrew and how great he is and how good he is in school – no one cares that he ran off, no one gives a shit about all of the drugs he did! I figured if Andrew had a vice that couldn't be taken back then maybe they would talk about me for once or show that they actually care… I didn't mean for everything to happen the way it did."

Gary sighed as he thought over what Nik had said and silently debated whether it was true. The way the boy had crossed his arms and was kicking slightly at the ground showed that he was uncomfortable with saying everything. There was a good chance it was true. "Nik, no offence but you barely graduated high school on time, you live with you grandparents, and you work in a grocery store while you play in a metal band instead trying to do something. Andrew's been through a lot of shit and he somehow managed to go to one of the most prestigious universities around and now he's getting to work with my grandfather on a major research project – he already has a career as a researcher made, after this, he can go anywhere. There's a reason people talk about him and not about you," he paused and met Nik's eyes as he carefully thought out his next words. "I know it bothers you that you don't get as much attention as your brother when you should… but that didn't give you the right to do what you did. The last thing Andrew needed on top of everything he's already been through was getting disowned."

"That's not what I wanted to happen!" Nik exclaimed frustratedly.

"You've already told me that," Gary replied flatly. "I heard that you two got in a fight after he told you. If you didn't mean for any of this to happen, then why did you freak out?"

"I felt betrayed!"

"You felt betrayed because your brother said he thinks he might be gay? Nik, don't you think most people would have picked up on that by now – how many times have you seen the two of us kiss? Don't you think that was a pretty big hint?"

"You don't get it, do you? The only family I have other than my grandparents is my brother and sister – and Abby's hardly ever around!"

"Yeah, and my parents are dead –"

"You don't realize how lucky you actually are, Gary! Yeah, your parents died when you were little; but you know what? My parents hate each other and couldn't care less about their kids! All they care about is bleeding each other dry – they brag about Andrew because they think his success will redeem them! They're worthless pieces of shit and the way they disowned Andrew proved it!"

Gary couldn't think of a response, never in his life had he been told that he was lucky that his parents were dead, and he never thought he might actually believe the person that said it. Meeting his friend's eyes, something clicked in his mind. He had lost two people in his life, but at least he knew that they had cared. Andrew and his siblings, and so many other people in the world, didn't have that luxury. Even after his parents had died, Gary still had his grandfather, who did everything he could for his grandchildren, even if he had a some point alienated his grandson – that certainly hadn't been the researcher's intent. Then there was of course Alex and Nicole, Anna's mother who had treated him, at the very least, like a darling nephew. Even Monica treated him like a son, much as she did with Damien.

"What does this have to do with the fight between you and Andrew?" He finally asked after a long pause.

Nik sighed heavily and slumped against Tim's SUV parked next to Charlotte's little Ford Taurus. "He never told me and I just… felt like he'd kept it a secret and I felt betrayed because he didn't trust me enough to tell me sooner."

"It was right in front of your face though," Gary intoned quietly.

"I _know_ that! But can you please realize that I didn't mean for this to happen? I don't like this situation between us," his voice trailed off.

Gary sighed softly, recognizing that Nik was trying to ask for help. They seemed to reach a silent agreement. "Are you going to the party at Beth's house tomorrow?" He asked after a brief moment of thought.

"Yeah, but I don't think that would be a very good place to talk to him… Too many people. I'll be here though, we have to work on the new song Tim's been writing."

"I'll bring Andrew over for awhile then?"

"Yeah…"

"Ok, then we should probably let Tim and Charlotte know."

Nik nodded in response and they returned to the garage where they spoke with the couple in question and worked out a plan of sorts. The plan was far less violent than the one that had been put into place that evening. Gary hoped sincerely that the plan worked out alright for the sake of both brothers as well as his friendship with Nik.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Charlotte the harlot is once more referencing the Iron Maiden song of the same title. Charlotte's fifteen quid remark is a reference to the Iron Maiden song 22, Acacia Avenue; which is the second song in the Charlotte the Harlot saga. I tried to sneak in several Iron Maiden lyric references in this chapter for one reason and one reason only – I got tickets to their first Florida concert in over ten years! Woohoo!! So excited, even though I have a nosebleed seat – but the arena isn't very big and it's only a half-floor show (meaning the stage will be in the middle, not at one end) so it's all good! Anyways, I managed to sneak in references to Number of the Beast, Purgatory, Can I Play With Madness?, Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter… Brownie points if anyone can notice them!

Anyway, this whole thing wasn't supposed to be its own chapter; originally it was only briefly described at the end of the last chapter but I didn't think it was right to have the events leading up to Andrew and Nik making up not be described in detail. Besides, Gary's been such a baby in past chapters that he really needed to reestablish his masculinity, so to speak – what better way to do that than beat the hell out of someone?


	44. Chapter 44: Moving Forward

**Beyond The Walls**

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter… : )

Chapter 44: Moving Forward

The house was oddly quiet when Gary returned around two in the morning; while it was usual for most houses to be quiet at that time, someone was usually up doing something that made noise on a Friday night. Not this time around though. Ash was asleep on the couch, Chelsea's bedroom door was closed and the light was out, indicating that she and May were both asleep. Quietly making his way towards his room, he noticed that the door to Chris' room was open and that his older roommate was still awake. Chris glanced up when he heard Gary's footsteps in the hall.

"I talked to Dame earlier," he said, returning to whatever he was doing on his laptop.

"Why am I not surprised?" Gary muttered as he leaned against the wall just inside the door to the room.

Chris ignored the comment as he typed away on the computer. "I heard Alex was pretty pissed about it."

"He was. Is there a point to this interrogation?"

"It's not an interrogation; I was just commenting. That was a stupid idea you know."

"Yes, I _know_. Alex made that pretty clear tonight."

"Did it accomplish what you guys wanted?"

"Yeah…"

"Well then I guess it wasn't total idiocy. I'll see you tomorrow."

Gary left the room, closing the door behind him as he headed down the hall to his room. He could hear music coming from Andrew's room as he passed and was certain that it was playing to cover up something else, seeing as Tracey had been sleeping in there since Abby had left a few days earlier. His own room was quiet when he entered it, though Anna was still awake and reading on the bed. She glanced up as Gary closed the door behind him and began stripping off his clothing.

"I take it all that fighting got you turned on, huh?" Anna asked as she watched her boyfriend strip down to his boxers and sit on the bed next to her.

Gary looked at her in confusion. "No. Unless you're offering?" He asked with a suggestive grin.

Anna rolled onto her back and folded her arms behind her head. "I wasn't, it's too cold to do anything that makes you sweat," she laughed softly while glancing over him. She was mildly surprised to see a few pale bruises that she knew weren't from his little fights with Andrew over the past few days. "Looks like Nik got in a few good hits; Damien told Chris that you beat his ass. Nice to see you finally grow a set of balls." She laughed at the glare she earned from Gary. "You've been such a pussy lately, I was starting to wonder if I was going to have to become a lesbian," she pushed on, a grin breaking out on her face.

"I love you too," Gary muttered sarcastically as he leaned back against the pillows and watched Anna crawl closer to him.

"Oh shut up, I know you were just trying to help out Andrew… in a stupidly manly way. Trying to impress me with your strength?" Anna asked mockingly.

Gary groaned and slid under the covers of the bed. "No sex for you tonight," he muttered.

"We'd only be able to fuck if you were to regrow your cock after losing it during your little 'oh sweet Nordic gods – I'm in love with my best friend!' nervous breakdown… Or maybe it was during your 'oh shit, I'm bisexual and I had a boyfriend' panic attack that you lost it."

"Shut up and go to sleep, bitch."

Anna laughed as she slipped under the thick comforter and cuddled next to Gary. "You know I love you," she said softly as Gary turned off the light next to the bed.

"I love you too."

"You're still a pussy though."

--- --- ---

Andrew frowned as he looked at Gary's face the next morning. "I can't believe he gave you a bloody lip!" He exclaimed, walking away from Gary to pull a box of sugary cereal out of the pantry in the kitchen.

"I did hit him first," Gary reminded him while pouring a glass of orange juice.

"Yeah but you don't really hit all that hard – ow! Bastard," he whined as his younger friend hit him in the back of the head.

"Gee, you two are starting early today," Chelsea commented languidly as she entered the kitchen.

"Oh look, it's the Whore of Babylon!" Andrew exclaimed through a mouthful of food.

"Morning, Chels."

"See, someone here has manners," Chelsea said to Andrew. "When are you going over to Tim's, Gary?"

Gary shrugged slightly, smiling as Anna and May came in the room. "Whenever Andrew gets off his lazy ass long enough to take a shower and get dressed," he replied, glancing over the way Andrew was still only dressed in black pajama pants and a t-shirt with his hair in unruly tangles.

Andrew appeared to be confused as he drained the remaining milk from the bottom of his cereal bowl. "Who said I was going with you?"

"I did. Now go get dressed!"

Andrew wandered out of the room and Chelsea looked at Gary questioningly and asked why he was dragging along Andrew. He quietly explained what was planned to happen, hoping that Andrew wouldn't overhear whatever he said. Chelsea seemed somewhat doubtful at the notion of the two brothers making up, which didn't exactly surprise Gary considering Chelsea and Nik generally hated each other at the best of times. Chris, however, seemed supportive and hoped along with Gary that things would work out.

It was several hours later before they finally left for Tim and Charlotte's house, having been held up when Andrew disappeared into his room for quite some time before taking a shower and getting dressed. Gary made sure to be the one to drive, that way there was no chance of Andrew backing out and returning home upon the sight of his younger brother. The drive across the relatively small city was fairly entertaining, if only for ten minutes Gary and Andrew spent picking on Ash for the crush they suspected he had on their female roommate. They'd stopped when he began ignoring them and turned to their own conversation when Tracey and Ash started talking amongst themselves in the backseat. When they finally reached the house, Gary was surprised and a bit worried to see that Nik's van wasn't there yet; careful not to make his concern evident, he led the three other boys up the driveway and into the house.

As soon as they entered the house, they heard an excited bark followed by a crash, the tinkle of breaking glass, a loud curse in a feminine voice, and the sound of swift paws on a wooden floor. Lexi the eevee tore around the corner and raced up to Gary, bouncing around his legs and whining excitedly while he knelt down to scoop up the ecstatic dog. With Lexi struggling in his arms, he led them towards the living room where Charlotte was cleaning up a broken glass that the eevee had most likely knocked over in her rush to greet their guests. After helping Charlotte clean up the mess that had been made by their arrival, releasing Umbreon from her pokeball to play with the other evolved forms of eevee, and letting Ash's pikachu play with Lexi and Charlotte's houndoom, they all sat down and began talking about various things. Charlotte was in the middle of talking to Ash about summer training regime she was planning when Gary glanced out the window just in time to see Nik pull up in front of the house and begin the trek up the snowy driveway to the door. Noticing the way Andrew was watching Pikachu and Lexi bound around the room, Gary figured that he hadn't noticed his brother's arrival.

"Do you think you're going to talk to Nik at all before we leave on Tuesday?" Gary asked quietly, leaning closer to his friend.

"Why? Should I?" Andrew didn't even take his eyes off of the playing pokemon as he responded.

"Well, someone needs to teach him how to use the washing machine, right?" Gary began, hearing the front door open and close quietly. "And we should probably see what need to be left in the house for them, I mean, there's only so much you can bring. Or need to bring for that matter, there's plenty of stuff at my house."

Andrew sighed and continued watching the critters run around; Lexi was apparently too distracted by the electric mouse to greet their newest arrival that Andrew hadn't even noticed yet. "I get the idea you want me to make up with him," he muttered, glancing up to glare at Gary.

Gary wasn't the slightest bit fazed by the glare sent his way and merely shrugged his shoulders. "I think it would be best, at least for Abby's sake; she gets really upset when you two fight." He turned to the boy sitting on his other side. "What do you think, Trace?"

Tracey looked uncomfortable at his sudden inclusion in the conversation. "It's up to Andrew; what Nik did was a really big deal," he replied.

"I know," Gary said calmly. "But did you see Nik at the diner on Tuesday? He didn't look to happy –"

"That's because I wasn't," Nik's voice interrupted from behind the couch they were sitting on.

Andrew whipped around in surprise and narrowed his eyes at his younger brother.

"Speak of the devil…" Gary said quietly in his calm voice at the same time as Andrew spoke.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was planning on coming over before Gary was," the younger blonde boy responded.

Andrew turned to Gary and glared at him. "You set this up," he shook his head in annoyance. "I can't believe you – what the hell, Gary?"

Gary only smiled and stood to leave the room; Charlotte followed suit, gesturing for Tracey and Ash to follow them. "I think you two need some time to yourselves – and try not to kill each other," he replied with the smile still on his face as they headed towards the kitchen.

--- --- ---

It was a long time before Andrew and Nik finally came out into the garage where Gary had gone to once Damien and David came over after getting off of work. It had taken them a few hours to sort things out, and though no fights had broken out, harsh words had certainly been exchanged more than once. Damien had been patiently trying to show Gary how to play drums, something which caused David and Tim to frequently laugh and caused Gary to frequently curse, when the two boys finally came out with Ben following closely behind.

A simple glance at the two showed that they had at least reached an understanding and that Nik had at least apologized for his behavior and his actions, though there was still a definite level of discomfort between them. It was obvious that it would take awhile for things to go back to the way they were before Christmas, but now that the brothers were past the most difficult part, things could only get better.

Gary quickly went over to his best friend to find out how things had gone, leaving Damien alone at the drum set as he did so. Despite the fact that Andrew still seemed fairly angry with Nik and upset over his family situation, he seemed more at ease than he had in past days as he sat on the black futon with Gary while talking and watching the band try to practice while Ben incessantly played the keyboard, even after Tim had unplugged it. Glad to see his friend mostly back to himself, Gary brought up a topic he had wanted to talk to Andrew about for awhile now.

"Do you think this changes anything?"

Andrew considered his friend curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Everything that's happened recently, do you think it changes anything for anyone?" Gary asked.

Andrew thought for a moment while watching Tim coach his younger brother across the room. "I somehow get the idea that this is a bit more about you than it is about anyone else," he replied slowly.

"Am I really that transparent?"

"Yeah, you are," Andrew said, sliding an arm across Gary's shoulders and tousling his hair. "So what makes you bring this up?"

"Nik said something last night that made me think," Gary began.

Andrew sighed and shook his head slightly. "You think too much –"

"I know that but hear me out. Nik said that I didn't realize how lucky I was, then I couldn't sleep last night and I started thinking and realized that he was right and I realized that the real reason I haven't been able to get over everything is basically because I'm a spoiled little brat."

"Nice to hear you finally admit it," Andrew replied dryly before grinning. "Where are you going with this?"

"I'm done with all of this stupid shit," Gary said simply.

Andrew sighed again. "I've heard this story before, Gary," he said softly.

"I know… But things are going to be different this time."

"I hope so."

Gary eyed him coolly, though the aura of calmness surrounding him took Andrew by surprise. "I promise," he replied.

Andrew smiled and extended hand with his pinky finger up. "Pinky swear?"

Gary grinned as they linked finger. "I swear." They dropped their hands after a minute and laughed quietly. Gary glanced over at the boys playing on the other side of the room before looking back at Andrew with a small smirk. "Sealed with a kiss?"

Andrew followed Gary's eyes to his brother and shook his head with a grin. "Nah, I promised Nik we wouldn't mess with him anymore."

They met each others' eyes for a minute before being struck by a different idea. "Hey, Ben!" They called simultaneously, waiting for the redhead to turn away from the keyboard before locking lips in a playful kiss.

"That's fascinating, guys," Ben replied blandly before returning his attention to his instrument.

Gary and Andrew started laughing as they pulled away. It was nice to know that no matter how much things changed, some things, like Ben's generally disinterested nature, would always be a constant.

--- --- ---

The party seemed different from the one only a few days prior and Tracey found that he was enjoying himself more than he had in his time in Sinnoh so far. Perhaps the best part was the fact that he was finally getting a chance to just hang out with Andrew and watch everyone else while feeling the blonde boy's arm across his shoulders and occasionally sharing kisses. Though he found his eyes constantly drifting across the room to where Gary was with the other musicians, several of whom Tracey had yet to meet, the auburn-haired teen was far from his thoughts. There were a few instances where Andrew left his side to join the musicians for a song or two, occasionally even joining in on vocals; Tracey found that he enjoyed it most when Andrew and Gary switched back and forth between Andrew's growling and screaming and Gary's singing – especially when they did songs by a band Chelsea had called Scar Symmetry. Despite Andrew's occasional disappearances, he remained at Tracey's side almost like a loyal lover and this was greatly appreciated in a place where Tracey was unfamiliar with so many people and the music that was circulating the room.

Although he enjoyed listening to the music and watching people switch back and forth between instruments, he still couldn't understand why everyone seemed to love it so much. Yeah, it was enjoyable – especially when Ashley sang in her operatic soprano vocals along to Nightwish and Therion songs – but it was _just_ music. It wasn't like it was some earth shattering force – although some of the notes Ashley could hit seemed as though they might be capable of breaking glass. It seemed as though so many people went into this near-orgasmic state when they were playing… It confused Tracey beyond belief.

He kept thinking about it as Andrew sat down next to him on the couch after grabbing drinks for each of them. Andrew smiled at him and played idly with Tracey's fairly short dark hair while watching Chelsea play Nik's bass guitar along to a fun sounding song. "What is it about playing music that makes you guys so crazy?" Tracey asked after a few minutes.

Andrew set down his bottle of soda as he thought over Tracey's question. "It's hard to explain," he said after a few moments. "There are just some things that give you more pleasure than anything else in the world can. Music is one of those things for us. It's just something that you get completely high off of – there's just this sheer energy in it. There's just something – this instinctual _thing_ – that takes you over when you get into it. The way everything combines together: the drums, the guitar, the bass, the keyboards… it's amazing." Tracey noticed how distant Andrew seemed as he talked; his hand gestures showed just how honest he was being. Andrew leaned closer to him so that their eyes could meet. "I told you that I got into drugs once; I never injected anything but did just about everything short of it. I nearly died a few times – doing that shit to your body isn't a good thing, to say the least," he laughed dryly before talking again. "The reason I'm bringing this up; you want to know what it is about music that does this to us? Tracey, take it from someone who used to be a junkie; if you love it, music will give the biggest and best high anyone can get. I started playing guitar after my grandparents detoxed me and that's what made it so easy for me to stop that shit… It's just… I can't describe it to you, Trace. Just look at everyone playing – they love it, that's why they came, not for the drinking or anything like that. To play. Look at Gary and Ben," Tracey followed Andrew's gaze to where five or six keyboards were set up and Gary and Ben were both playing. "See how focused Ben is? He usually can't stand still for more than five seconds without exploding," Ben indeed seemed less scattered than Tracey had seen him before; he was standing nearly still, except for his hands, which wandered across the two keyboards in front of him. One hand played chords on one keyboard, the other played some sort of complex melody on a different board. "Music is the only thing that will make that pain in the ass chill out. With Gary it's the reverse, nothing else will bring him out of his shell like that." Andrew gestured at the way Gary's hands flitted back and forth between several of the instruments, crossing over each other in complex intricacies, occasionally slowing and quickly regaining speed. "He's completely gone right now, Anna could stand in front of him completely naked and he wouldn't even look up –"

"Are you sure he's not just drunk?" Tracey asked doubtfully, remembering the several shots of vodka he had watched him throw back with Chelsea.

Andrew shook his head with a small smile. "He only had three shots and those were two hours ago – he's not drunk. He usually doesn't play if he's drunk; if he does play, it'll be slower and on only one keyboard. And it'll be in either A minor or C major – only the white keys, you can't mess it up. Well, at least he can't, I could… rules of music theory and all, I suck at it."

"And what's he playing now?"

Andrew gave him an exasperated look that clearly said he didn't want to answer that question. "You have no idea how many key changes he's doing!"

"You can't tell what key it is, can you?" Tracey teased him.

From the look on Andrew's face, Tracey knew he had hit a weak spot. Andrew stepped up to the challenge. "Oh, I can tell most of the time. Right now he's switching between melodic minor and natural minor but I can't tell if it's F or C… I have no idea what the hell he just did but now it's F major… and now it's C major." Tracey was lost by this point. "Oh, I see what he's doing now – Chelsea and Tim caught on to it, and now David did too," the three musicians had perked up as though they had noticed something. Andrew grinned as Damien sat down at the huge drum set and picked up the sticks. "Now he's in D," he laughed as the keyboards suddenly turned from the intricate melodic mess to a rhythm that the others had picked up on their own instruments. He turned back to Tracey. "I'll give you three guesses what band it is – it's one of Gary's favorites."

Tracey only knew two bands by name that Gary _always _listened to. "It has to be either Nightwish or Iron Maiden," he said as Logan suddenly ran across the room to the microphone and began singing.

"Could be Dimmu Borgir – he loves complex symphonic things."

Tracey recognized the name that Andrew mentioned from the first time he had gone out with Gary and Kate to the ice cream shop in Pallet. And he knew that wasn't what was being played. "Iron Maiden?"

Andrew grinned and Tracey assumed he had guessed correctly. "It's pretty sexy how you're learning this stuff," he murmured as the grin on his face faded into a smirk that Tracey had become familiar with. Andrew's lips were on his before he had even realized that the boy had moved towards him.

The contrast of Andrew's soft lips and that lip ring sent a shudder through Tracey as their tongues rolled together. Andrew's hand was lightly grasping his chin, keeping him from pulling away – as if he actually needed that restraining hand when Tracey was as willing as he was. They pulled away only when their air had been used up entirely by the deep kiss. Tracey met his eyes slightly nervously, a bit intimidated by the way Andrew's gaze bore into him.

"No one's at the house," Andrew said softly so that no one else could hear the suggestion.

"Won't they notice if we leave?"

"A few people will, they'll just think we've gone to a room upstairs though. Why?"

Tracey sighed as small insecurities came up. "It's just, I don't know… It's just kind of weird when Ash and everyone is here."

"We don't have to," Andrew assured him gently but he seemed oddly disappointed. "But, Trace, Ash is here – no one's there. I'd just like to have some time alone with you away from everyone. Now's the best chance we're going to get."

Something about the way he said it sparked something in Tracey and he finally nodded, agreeing to sneak out of the party with Andrew.

--- --- ---

Tracey found that he was grateful for several things as he and Andrew drove back to the house; for one, the fact that Andrew had Gary go back to the house so he could drive his Nova to Beth's house. Then there was the fact that it was around ten at night and there was little traffic and, of course, the fact that Andrew drove nearly as fast as Gary. They were roaring into the garage in no time, making out against the side of the car seemingly only seconds later.

Andrew's hands were lightly cupping his face while their bodies were pressed together, pinning Tracey lightly against the car door while they kissed. Feeling bolder than usual, Tracey slowly slid a hand to Andrew's waist, rubbing along the bulge he could feel through the other boy's cargo pants. He heard him release a breathy moan and felt him tense in anticipation against him before pulling away suddenly.

"We should slow down," Andrew murmured. This surprised Tracey thoroughly as the blonde boy had never struck him as the type to take things slow… especially not when his eyes were so dark with lust, or with his arousal straining against the dark fabric of his pants. Andrew smiled cryptically and led Tracey into the house, once inside, that smile turned into the teasing grin that Tracey was used to. "So which room do you want to do it in? We've got them all to ourselves… Gary's bed is pretty comfy and Chelsea's is pretty big."

"I somehow doubt either of them would appreciate that – especially Chelsea," Tracey replied, thinking of how often Chelsea and Andrew got in little squabbles over absolutely everything humanly possible.

Andrew laughed softly and grasped Tracey's hips, dragging him closer until their bodies were pressed together again. "I was kidding," he said and lowered his head to kiss him again.

Tracey's hands slid into Andrew's hair, tugging slightly as his fingers got caught in the tangles that always seemed to be present. He groaned softly when Andrew pulled away.

"There was a reason I wanted to come back here instead of finding a room at Beth's place," Andrew said softly, running his hands through Tracey's hair and smiling at the way Tracey raised his eyebrows slightly in question.

"And what is it?"

"Well, I figure we've been having sex since Halloween and I've really started to like you… I'd say it's about time we made it official… If that's what you want, I mean," Andrew added quickly.

Tracey couldn't stop the wide grin that spread across his face; Andrew's nervousness was positively adorable. He leaned forward and pressed their lips together once more. "Is that a good enough answer for you?" He breathed as he and Andrew pulled away.

A grin broke out across Andrew's pale face. "I wish all answers were that good," he replied, tugging Tracey against him and allowing their lips to meet roughly.

Tracey slipped his arms around the taller boy, dragging him as close as possible and moaning deeply as Andrew's hands worked their way down his torso before resting on the waist of his jeans. He pulled back suddenly. "Bedroom," he whispered quickly. Andrew merely nodded, a bit wide-eyed and obviously thrilled by the answer Tracey had given him. His hand wrapped around Tracey's wrist and he quickly led him in the direction of his bedroom, trying to ignore the way his member throbbed in anticipation the whole way through the dark house.

They closed and locked the door behind them once they reached the room, though they doubted anyone would be returning to the house to disturb them any time soon. Andrew quickly flipped the switch on the wire of the spider-shaped lights strung along the ceiling and the room was filled with a soft light that was just strong enough for them to maneuver through the many boxes Andrew had been gradually packing belongings into over the past few days. Tracey felt himself be pushed lightly against the wall and sighed as Andrew's kisses seemed to suck the breath from him while the boy's hands gripped the material of his shirt. Groaning as Andrew's lips began trailing hot kisses and soft nips along his throat and collarbone, Tracey grasped the blonde teen's hips and pulled him against himself. No matter how much their hands grasped at each other's bodies, the contact wasn't enough. Tracey gave a soft whine that turned into a gasp when Andrew brought a knee up to lightly nudge between his legs.

Andrew grinned at the sharp intake of breath and tugged the shirt over Tracey's head before moving his mouth down the younger boy's chest and stomach, pulling away only when he reached his waist so that he could slip off Tracey's belt and slide his jeans down his legs. A sigh escaped Tracey as Andrew's hand moved lightly across the fabric of his boxers; it was so tantalizing, the way the boy's hand ghosted over his arousal, the contact with the fabric creating a slight friction that left him desperate for the feeling of flesh on flesh. Andrew teased him through the thin material for only a moment or so before finally tugging the boxers down to join Tracey's jeans.

Tracey couldn't stifle the groan that escaped him as Andrew's mouth trailed from his stomach downwards; the way that soft tongue felt against his sensitive skin was driving him crazy. He was about to beg for Andrew to do something, anything, other than tease him when a hand suddenly grasped his length and begin pumping slowly while Andrew's mouth worked at placing small hickeys along his hips. Closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall behind him, Tracey hissed softly in pleasure as Andrew ran his tongue teasingly along his length a few times before suddenly pulling away. Tracey met his dark eyes in confusion and gave a small sigh of relief when Andrew headed towards the bed and gestured for Tracey to join him amongst the tangled covered and scattered pillows.

Smiling down at Andrew when he reached the bed, Tracey felt his breath escape him as Andrew ran his hands down his sides as his mouth closed over his erection. Andrew mentally smirked as he felt rather than heard Tracey sigh deeply as his tongue teased the hard flesh in his mouth. The feeling of Tracey's hands grasping his hair and tugging ever so slightly as his head moved was the final blow to his control and Andrew stopped teasing, instead resorting to sliding his lips up and down the shaft. Hearing the soft moans and gasps coming from his new boyfriend was something he wouldn't tire of, no matter how badly it made him ache with desire. After a few short minutes of Andrew's ministrations, Tracey could feel his muscles tensing as he came closer to orgasm; Andrew noticed and took Tracey deeper into his mouth and groaned softly as the hands entangled in his hair tightened their grip. The vibrations from Andrew's soft moan were too much for Tracey to handle and he came forcefully, groaning loudly and grasping the blonde strands of hair tightly.

He was surprised when Andrew stood suddenly and kissed him hard enough to make his head spin as he tasted himself on the other boy's tongue. Andrew moved away from the bed suddenly enough to confuse Tracey until he saw him open the drawer of the nightstand next to his bed; prior experience had told him what was in the back of that drawer, behind the guitar strings and small box overflowing with guitar picks – as if he didn't have enough of the little plastic triangles laying around the room.

Waiting until after Andrew tossed the items he had pulled from the drawer on to the bed, Tracey grasped Andrew's hair and kissed him roughly, thrilled to hear the sharp gasp that came from the blonde. He savored the feeling of the other teen's fingers sliding through his short hair, tousling the dark locks while Tracey removed his own hands from the blonde strands to run his hands along Andrew's stomach through the fabric of the t-shirt under the hoodie the boy was wearing. Growling slightly in annoyance at the layers separating their bare flesh, Tracey pulled back and tugged the sweatshirt over Andrew's head and tossed it to the floor.

To his surprise, Andrew knelt down to pick up the sweatshirt and placed it on his desk chair. "Death hoodie doesn't go on the floor," he explained sheepishly with a slightly embarrassed smile.

Tracey shook his head as he jerked the t-shirt over Andrew's head. "I don't care," he muttered as he quickly undid the studded belt around Andrew's narrow waist before moving onto the jeans that the boy was wearing. "Right now I just want you." Just seeing Andrew before him naked was causing his arousal to slowly return and he was eager to hear the other boy moaning the way he had been for the past several minutes.

It was Andrew's turn to shake his head and he chuckled softly as Tracey's mouth worked its way down his torso. "I don't think so," he said softly, pushing Tracey down on the bed and straddling him.

Tracey leaned back against the pillows on the bed as Andrew leaned down for a kiss, running his tongue along Tracey's lower lip seeking entrance that was granted almost immediately. Their tongues coiled together as the kiss deepened into a near-frenzy and Andrew ground his hips against Tracey, causing the younger boy to pull away from the kiss as he threw his head back with a sharp gasp. A dark groan escaped Andrew as they continued to roll their hips together while he reached across the bed for the foil package and the bottle that he had tossed down only moments prior. Tracey sighed in disappointment when Andrew climbed off of him to slip on the condom and squirt some of the lubrication onto his hands before preparing Tracey for what was to come next.

One finger slowly turned to two, which slowly began to spread apart as Andrew slowly, teasingly ran a hand up and down Tracey's chest and stomach. The combination of Andrew's long fingers prepping him and the hand that was teasing him nearly drove Tracey over the edge as he gasped and groaned in anticipation. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Andrew withdrew his fingers and spread Tracey's legs on either side of him and slowly began to slide in, sighing deeply as the boy below him let out a breathy moan and winced slightly. Fully inside, Andrew waited, watching Tracey's face for a sign to continue before beginning to move.

Settling into a rhythm, Andrew focused on hitting the spot that made the other boy groan louder and arch his back slightly. Grinning as a thought came to him through the fog that was taking over his mind, Andrew he leaned down and brought his mouth to Tracey's ear.

"This is so much better than it was with Gary, isn't it?"

Tracey groaned loudly. "Shut up –" the protest turned into a sharp gasp as Andrew's mouth descended on his neck, licking and sucking at the sensitive skin.

The combination of Andrew moving inside of him, the mouth on his throat, and the hands that were trailing up and down his sides left Tracey moaning deliriously as Andrew panted over him. Overcome by the many sensations, he came suddenly and he heard Andrew groan loudly and felt the boy's pace speed up as his breath hitched slightly. Andrew sighed pleasurably as he felt himself finally come and pulled out after a few shallow thrusts, sliding backwards on the bed to lick the drying fluid on Tracey's stomach before collapsing next to him and tugging off the filled rubber sheath that he wore. He tossed it in the trashcan near the bed and laid next to Tracey, smiling tiredly as the other boy leaned over him to kiss him again.

--- --- ---

Tracey slowly opened his eyes, slightly sore, feeling drowsy and satiated as he glanced at the blonde boy sleeping next to him. A glance at the clock told him that they had been dozing off for less than an hour and it was now around eleven-thirty. He sat up and stretched before lightly shaking Andrew's shoulder. Andrew stirred noisily and Tracey shook him harder before he woke up and smiled at his boyfriend.

"That was fun," he said sleepily as he nuzzled his face into a pillow.

"We should go back to the party," Tracey said softly.

"Why? I want to spend the night here with you," Andrew whined playfully.

"Isn't this a going away party for you guys?" Tracey pointed out.

"Well, yeah but…" Andrew trailed off, pouting slightly. Tracey gave him a look. "If my lady wishes," Andrew replied with a sigh after a minute as he sat up in the bed.

Tracey grinned. "You're the one with long hair; I'd say you're the lady, Andrew."

Andrew tilted his head to one side and considered his new boyfriend for a moment before laughing. "You know, in this situation most of my friends would've quoted Metalocalypse."

"Huh?"

Andrew shook his head and climbed off of the bed to stretch. "That's what I like about you; you don't know much about metal so I get to teach you." He flashed him a smile as he began gathering the clothes that were scattered across the floor.

The two boys dressed slowly, taking time to clean up and share kisses before they headed back to the garage so that they could return to Beth's house and the party that was there.

**--- --- ---**

**::Author's Notes::**

Another Iron Maiden reference in this chapter! Though I did write the music scene before Iron Maiden even released the Florida tour date that I mentioned in the A/N for the last chapter. Anyway, the song in D major that Gary starts doing on keyboard that everyone else starts playing is Number of the Beast (even though there's no keyboard – we'll just say Gary was playing the bass line) – arguably the most metal thing to be in a major key (major keys are usually very happy sounding while minor is darker). Most metal is in a minor key and you could say that D minor is the 'metal key' because it's used quite often.

That scene between Tracey and Andrew (you know which one I mean!) was by far the most interesting scene I have ever written. It was definitely the most graphic sex scene I've done, except maybe for the one between Gary and Anna on Halloween! Hopefully it didn't suck! I wanted to go into more detail but with all of the school crap I'm dealing with, I really didn't have time or energy for that.

And Andrew has a Death hoodie; I figure it might be good to point out that not all of the characters have the same taste in music, even though so many of them like metal. **You don't have to read this part unless you actually care because I go on and on about music!** Andrew obviously likes death metal – given the Death and Arch Enemy hoodies he's worn in here, as well as his taste in Children of Bodom and Imperanon (which have both been mentioned somewhere) – he also obviously likes some of the more melodic classic rock like Journey and Kansas. I'd also picture him liking some folk metal like Finntroll and some black metal like Chris. I imagine Chris liking mostly black metal – Behemoth, Dimmu Borgir, Cradle of Filth, Kataklysm, etc. with a bit of death thrown in there. Gary's taste is diverse (like my own); he obviously likes complexity and symphonic elements (Dimmu Borgir, Nightwish, Therion, Epica, Rhapsody), I'd imagine him leaning more towards highly melodic things (Sinergy, Iron Maiden, Kamelot, Symphony X, Evergrey) as well as guitar-heavy things (Scar Symmetry, Amon Amarth, Arch Enemy), and more progressive things (Adagio, Stream of Passion). I'd picture Chelsea very much the same way but preferring bands with females in them (obviously loving Arch Enemy because, seriously, Angela Gossow is the most metal chick _ever_; look up a live video, even if you don't like her vocals, her presence is amazing) and also liking some hard rock. Anna obviously likes some thrash (Slayer, Metallica, Megadeth) and generally likes heavy things with some random hard rock (Godsmack especially) and some more industrial (for lack of a better word) style rock/metal (Rammstein, NIN). May likes things with piano and symphonic parts but prefers female singing and classic rock. Michelle (being closer to Gary's age than the other girls, minus Kate and Chelsea) picks up on the progressive, symphonic, melodic metal that Gary likes that's easier on the ears (girly metal, basically – Rhapsody, Evergrey, Symphony X, Adagio). Kate likes pretty much anything that isn't really heavy – though she's picked up a bit on the music of the people around her. Bella likes anything that she can dance to, including metal and rock – more on that another time though. And Tracey of course… He's not much of a music person; it's more or less enjoyable background noise to him but he likes things with smooth vocals, especially female vocals.

I know, I know; enough with the music! :D

I can't help it… I'm obsessed…


	45. Chapter 45: Backing Down

**Beyond The Walls**

Holy crap! A fast update for once! I'm proud of myself for getting this one done so quickly!

Chapter 45: Backing Down

Gary glanced up as he caught the movement of the front door opening out of the corner of his eye. He was pleased to see Andrew and Tracey come in. He had noticed their absence nearly half an hour ago and had since grown bored as he idly played the keyboards that were set up in Beth's massive living room. The better musicians – the ones he had been playing with all evening – had retreated from the instruments when the less experienced ones began playing. He and Tim were now the only experienced ones currently playing; Tim was on a couch with Danny and a few other friends, showing off something he had written while Gary was at the keyboards, still playing even though Ashley and Ben, whom he had been playing with, had already left to join other friends. He would've joined his other friends but Anna was currently giggling with Chelsea, Missy, and Liana; Shawn was with a group of friends, all of them already drunk; May was with Damien, Chris and Charlotte; Logan, Nik, David, Jon, and Ben had already finished off two bottles of vodka and were halfway through a third – joining them wouldn't be the brightest idea. He didn't feel like drinking, which actually left him slightly confused; he _always_ drank with his friends, he had even gotten drunk for the first time with Anna when he was still fourteen…

There just didn't seem to be a point in getting drunk right now.

Maybe he _was_ growing up. Since Tuesday, he'd made an active effort to be the carefree child he once had been, or even just the normal teenager he was between bouts of depression while living here in Pastoria. He'd been playing around with his roommates, as well as his sister and girlfriend. He'd been with his friends every day, doing everything from playing music to watching movies to hanging out in the café at the bookstore where Shane worked until it closed. They'd gone to the mall, eaten at all of their favorite places in town, gotten in a massive snowball fight in the park near the university, played manhunt in the dense woods at another park, and even went to the nearby zoo with Charlotte so that she could try out her newest camera equipment. Each day had left him exhausted but in a good way; in a way he hadn't felt since he was a child and would pass out in his father's arms after a long day of playing.

He felt… happy and content. As though things were finally going the way they were supposed to, as though things were looking up and he was actually looking forward to starting over when he got back home. Perhaps Andrew had called him a pussy one too many times on Tuesday, perhaps talking to Ash had shown him how immature he had been acting, perhaps it was that Alex had once more swooped in to protect him when he didn't need it the day before… Either way, he was fed up. He'd had enough and he refused to deal with it anymore. It was time for him to grow up and be himself regardless of what his grandfather or Alex would think of him – he may not know exactly who he was or what he wanted in life but he was only eighteen; what eighteen-year-old actually knew that stuff any way? The teenage years were fraught with self-doubt and experimenting and growing; in a way, he had inhibited his own growth by never moving on from the death of his parents and by always falling back to cutting and drinking with friends. The only thing he had ever done that was truly his own was playing instruments or picking up painting.

Gary realized he had been playing the same Boston song on the keyboard in front of him for the past few minutes at the same time as he noticed Andrew and Tracey's clasped hands as they walked across the room. His hands fell from the keys and he wondered if Andrew has finally asked out Tracey. It had been driving Gary crazy to see the way the two acted and know that his best friend hadn't just asked the boy out yet, though he supposed May and several other people had felt the same way about him and Anna.

Andrew met his eyes from across the room and gave Tracey a peck on the cheek before heading over and picking up one of the guitars that were next to the keyboards that Gary was playing.

"Guess what I just did," he said cheerfully as he fixed the tuning on the green Jackson he had just picked up.

"Had sex with Trace?" Gary replied blandly, flipping the power switch on the keyboard and resting his arms on the keys.

"Well, yeah, but guess what happened before that!"

"Please tell me you finally asked him out."

"Yep!" Andrew responded happily, playing the riff of an In Flames song that caused a few of the other musicians to perk up.

A grin spread across Gary's face. "Took you long enough," he said as he stepped from behind the keyboards.

"Hey, you have no room to talk! You didn't even realize anything was going on between us until less than a week ago!"

"Yeah, well, you never mentioned it or asked me out, so what does it matter?"

"It obviously doesn't matter anymore," Andrew muttered as his focus switched to the instrument in his hands as his fingers tapped along the fret board.

Gary nodded quietly before heading over to where his sister was flirting with Damien, knowing how distracted his friend got when he played guitar.

--- --- ---

Gary sighed as he pulled the Camaro into the driveway on Monday afternoon; he was tired and sore from helping his roommates pack the day before and he really did not want to be there. He had almost hoped that Alex wouldn't be home but that obviously wasn't the case considering the garage door was open to reveal Alex's motorcycle and Gary could hear the radio playing loudly from inside the house. He took the key out of the ignition and climbed out of the low car, shivering slightly in the cold air as he walked up the driveway at the same time Alex walked into the garage.

"I thought I heard tires screeching on the ice," Alex laughed softly when he saw Gary.

"Hey, Alex," Gary greeted quietly.

"I take it you guys are leaving in the morning tomorrow?"

"We're leaving around lunchtime but I wanted to talk to you before we go."

"Then let's go inside, you must be freezing – I can't believe you left the house with just a sweatshirt on! It's in the twenties!" Alex exclaimed, ushering Gary into the house and ignoring the way the teenager rolled his eyes.

"You should know by now that I'm not very sensitive to cold weather," Gary said flatly as he followed Alex towards the living room. "And this is actually kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."

Alex looked confused. "You wanted to talk to me about the weather?" Gary groaned softly.

"No," he sighed and dropped into the dark blue armchair that he had essentially claimed as his own when living there.

"Then what is it? Do you feel alright?" Alex asked worriedly as he hovered over Gary.

Gary completely ignored the questions and responded with his own. "What are you doing home? I thought you would be at the school preparing the lab for the semester."

Alex frowned down at him, obviously thrown off by Gary's question; he was far too used to being met by arguing. "Andrew and Chris did inventory at the end of last semester and I'm not doing the chem lab anymore – the graduate students are taking over the labs." Gary winced inwardly; he couldn't imagine anyone other than a professor or doctor at the school as a lab instructor, not with the way he and Andrew had been in labs. "So what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

Gary couldn't help but roll his eyes again; Alex didn't even know the topic of their conversation yet he was already on his case about it. Typical – Alex always had been overprotective ever since Gary's parents had died. "A lot of things, actually," he replied as he folded his legs under him. "It's kind of about Friday and kind of a continuation of some things from Christmas – you can sit down now, it's really annoying to try talking when you're hovering over me like this!" Alex frowned again but sat down on the couch and gestured for Gary to continue. "Nik said something during our fight that made me think and I realized that things could be a lot worse for me considering I still have so many people as family even… without Mom and Dad." He shot a glare at Alex when he opened his mouth to interrupt. "Let me finish! I never really thanked you for always being there for me – you've always been really good to me and you've helped me out a lot, especially with school. _But_ you've also been pretty overprotective and kind of overbearing and, to be honest, it's been overkill lately. I know you mean well but I think part of the reason I've always been the way I am is because of everyone constantly being pushy in some way – you and May are both overprotective, Grandpa was always practically forcing me to do something as a trainer or a researcher… And I think it's finally gotten to be too much; like on Friday, you came rushing in when I didn't need you there! I need to start doing these things on my own without someone always breaking up all of the fights I get into – how else do you expect me to grow up?"

To Gary's surprise, Alex didn't speak right away; instead he hesitated as though he were letting the words sink in. "Gary, Friday wasn't like the little fights you get in with Andrew, that got out of hand –"

"Out of hand isn't the same as out of control though! We could have worked things out ourselves; it's not like Charlotte would've let it go further, that's why she came outside in the first place: so she could go get Damien if it did get out of hand – and that's what she did too. I'm just… really tired of it."

Alex sighed softly. "I know that, Gary, but sometimes you just do really stupid things that just –"

"I'm a teenager, Alex! How do you expect me to learn from my mistakes if you don't let me make them in the first place? Look, I know you're talking mostly about the whole thing with Nik – that wasn't even my idea, it was Charlotte's… And it had a lot to do with the strawberry daiquiris that she made with dinner – don't you start with the alcohol lecture!" He exclaimed as Alex opened his mouth to cut him off. "I'm eighteen, I'm old enough to drink – besides, I've heard that lecture before. I know it was a stupid idea, I only agreed to it because I was pissed at Nik and was looking for a fight –"

"Gary!"

"Hey! I admitted it, didn't I? At least give me credit for that instead of lecturing me on something I already know was stupid! I was pissed off and wasn't really thinking straight since we had been drinking and I wasn't even going to do it until I found out that Nik had gone behind my back and told everyone about me and Andrew! I don't even know how it worked – I know Nik's always been a bit bipolar but going from completely depressed to flat out cruel is a bit of a stretch… not to mention the fact that it somehow worked out."

"That still doesn't excuse what you did, Gary!"

"I know that! I wasn't using it as an excuse, I was _explaining_ what happened. I'm not proud of it but you didn't make things better, especially not with you jumping to conclusions and then with what you said about my parents; that part was really hurtful…" Gary's voice trailed off as he frowned at Alex.

"I didn't mean for that to happen but you have to realize how difficult it is to deal with you at times –"

"Alex, please! I don't want this to turn into a fight, I just wanted to tell you what was going on. I _know_ I've been a pain in the ass and you've always dealt with it and you've always been supportive with everything, but please, just listen to me for once! Please take this seriously!"

"Gary… It's not like I do it on purpose," Alex sighed and stood, pacing the room while Gary watched silently, wondering what exactly to say.

"Please stop pacing," he said softly after a few minutes.

"Stop saying 'please', it sounds like you're begging." Not appreciating being told what to do, Gary sent another glare his way. Alex noticed the glare and stopped pacing. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, I just don't like hearing you plead – you're not the begging type."

"I wasn't pleading."

Alex stared down at him with an unreadable expression on his face for a moment. "What makes you bring this up now? Chris and Damien said you've been better since Tuesday, this seems kind of sudden."

"I don't know… I guess I realized at the party at Beth's house that I didn't really want anything to do with what was going on," Gary began slowly. "I figured that I must be growing up. Really, I don't know; I just got so sick of seeing everyone drinking at the party when that's not what I wanted to do. All anyone wanted to was get drunk and there's no point in it – I just ended up getting so annoyed over it and then everyone's had something to say all week about me being a pussy or me being immature and I'm done with it."

"Are you sure you feel ok?"

"Alex," Gary groaned. "This is exactly what I'm talking about! You don't take things I say seriously –"

"No offence, Gary, but we've been through this before – several times actually. You always say you want to change and then you go right back to being the same old Gary, complete with cutting and –"

"Again, this is exactly what I'm talking about," Gary said in a calm voice, forcing down the anger he could feel building at Alex's words. Getting pissed off and turning this into an argument would not go anywhere. He sighed softly, thinking of how to word his response. "I know this is going to sound like I'm going off on a tangent but _please_ let me talk _for once_!" Some his anger slipped through and turned the last few words slightly shrill, Alex obviously heard it as he raised his eyebrows slightly and sat back down on the couch. "I was talking to Jon on Thursday about his issues with drugs when he was younger because I figure we're kind of in the same boat with trying to stop and then failing at it and people not taking us seriously and all of that. And he said that you can't really stop until you're ready – no matter how much you want to, you can't actually do it until you've finally just had it with everything and that's how it is now. I'm not trying to make excuses but I didn't exactly pick the best times to stop cutting, you know how stressful that school is and then I was always confused about what was going on with Andrew, I didn't think much about it but… Anyway, May giving me stitches really made me realize that I need to stop and then seeing how upset she and Anna were really bothered me."

"You've come very close to cutting yourself several times since then, Gary," Alex said softly in a tone that Gary couldn't quite decipher.

"Yeah, sometimes closer than others but I've always stopped before actually doing it. That's what everyone's been missing when they've been interfering. I know you guys mean well but I think May's the only one that actually has it right – she never gives me a guilt trip or lectures me on it and she doesn't turn it into a fight. She just supports me when I need it and doesn't hide the fact that it hurts her. She actually realizes that it's something I need to do on my own. I know I've needed to start talking to people and stop keeping the cutting so secret and actually admit that I have… a really big problem – which I hate doing, by the way! But I think I'm right and I really do need to do this on my own and figure out who I am and what I actually want out of life. I don't really know those things right now and I need time to figure it all out."

Alex nodded slowly and Gary could see that he was finally listening to him. "I'll back off a bit," he said, obviously not entirely thrilled with the idea but Gary would take what he could get. "It's just been really hard to see everything you've been going through these past few months, and I'm sure you'll understand this one day, but you really just want to take away any hardship that your kid – or someone that you view as your child – goes through. Can you at least understand where I'm coming from?"

"Yeah, I guess so," Gary paused and a slightly awkward silence fell over the living room. A few minutes passed before he finally spoke up again. "Do you remember on Christmas when you told me to think about what I wanted for the people close to me and then apply that to my own life?" Alex nodded again and Gary was surprised to see how quiet he was staying. "Well, I've been doing that a bit since then and I figured some things out." Alex smiled at this and gestured for Gary to continue. "I said that I wanted Ash to be successful at something he likes and I guess I want the same thing for myself but success doesn't exactly equal happiness and I don't really _need_ it to support myself since, well, family money kind of speaks for itself. So I want to find what it is that I really like and do that, whether or not I'm successful at it."

"There's a change," Alex interrupted. "Usually you have to be the absolute best at something."

"And look where that's gotten me," Gary replied dryly.

"Just goes to show that you're growing up – taking the things you've been through and learning from them; kind of like the Symphony X song, Out of the Ashes. Is that why you played it that one day I was in your room in Pallet, when you made me guess the piano part?"

Gary frowned at Alex for a minute, trying to remember what exactly he was talking about. Realization dawned on him as he thought back to the song Alex was referring to. "Actually no, not consciously at least. When you came in, that song just kind of came to mind, I remembered you and Dad playing it… I guess that song kind of fits everything going on, huh?"

Alex nodded with a small smile. "I'd say so."

"Well, I also thought about Anna and some of my other friends,"

"And?"

"I'd like to see Anna make up with Rachael since I'd really like figure out what exactly is going on with her – she was never such a bitch when we were younger but something with Anna obviously pushed her over the edge and I miss doing music with her, she always pushed me a lot with cello and piano. I want Nik and Andrew to get past all of this crap between them and I guess that applies to me because I kind of blamed Grandpa for everything going on and I actually feel really bad about it so I'd like to get over that. I want Kate to figure out what it is that she wants to do; the same with me. And I just want May to be happy because I kinda screwed her over with that – you're not supposed to agree with that!" Gary exclaimed as Alex nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry, Gary but May _has_ put up with a lot from you and you know as well as anyone else."

"Yeah…" Gary replied regretfully. He sighed softly. "I really need to get past this, Alex; this has gone on too long. I can't do this anymore, I'm done, I just need everyone to back off and let me work through this."

"Ok. But you do understand me being worried about this, right? I mean, you've completely pushed everyone away before; I don't want to see that happen again. At least promise me –"

"I'm not going to shut everyone out," Gary interrupted. "I've at least been talking to people about things that have been bothering me lately – except Tuesday, Tuesday was just complete overkill and I couldn't handle so much happening at once. All I'm saying is to give me space and let me solve my own problems, if I really need help then I'll ask for it, that's what I did on Tuesday in the diner."

Alex shook his head slightly, looking wearier than Gary had seen him in quite some time. "Now's a time when I really wish your parents were still around, they were always good at dealing with whatever you threw their way. I have a feeling they would know what to say."

"There's not really anything to say, I wasn't looking for any words of wisdom or whatever. I was just telling you everything because I'm starting over when I go back to Pallet; I'm going to work in the lab at least until the end of this research project and I'm sure I'll figure out if that's what I really want at some point during that time. I'm going to try not to think so much; I've already given May and Anna permission to hit me if I start doing that –"

"What about Andrew?" Alex asked with a sudden grin.

"Do you honestly trust giving Andrew permission to hit me?"

"Not really," Alex replied, thinking of how often fights nearly broke out between the two best friends at school whenever one gave the other a much-deserved smack to the back of the head.

"I didn't think so." Gary glanced at the clock on the dvd player on a shelf over the television. It was almost four o'clock and he had promised to help Shawn pack before night fell, he was going to have to wrap this up before someone sent out a search party for him.

Alex followed his gaze to the clock and smiled understandingly. "I take it you're meeting someone?"

"I was supposed to be at Damien's around three-thirty to help Shawn pack, he's more of a packrat than Andrew so he needs a lot of help," he explained apologetically.

"Good luck with that; three computers are going to take up an awful lot of room in any car and you know he's going to have to ride with someone."

"I know, I know, he's the only one moving without a car. Between the van, truck, and our four cars, I don't think there'll be that big of a problem; though I may just talk him into throwing out the old monitors for his desktop computers and buy him a flat screen. Or maybe I'll just pick him up a couple external hard drives and have him ditch the computers entirely; that'll solve all of the space problems."

Alex laughed softly. "Always willing to help your friends… Am I going to see you tomorrow or are you guys going to be too busy to stop by?"

"I don't know yet, it depends how much we get done tonight."

"Well, if I don't see you before you head out –"

"I know, don't go over ninety on the icy roads," Alex glared at him and Gary laughed. "Ok, don't speed _too_ much and pay attention to the road. Don't get into any trouble, don't blow anything up in the lab, don't go near the lab if Grandpa's doing a dissection or necropsy, don't push that big red button that releases all of the pokemon on the reserve from their pokeballs –"

"Dear god, you're lucky to be alive after doing that, I swear… Five-year-olds…" Alex groaned as he remembered several events from Gary's childhood and his own time working in the lab in Pallet; he somehow recalled Jeremy Oak warning his father not put a large brightly-colored button within reach of children. Not that Professor Oak had followed his son's warning and he certainly learned from that mistake.

"Odin," Gary correctly automatically, grinning as Alex shot another small glare his way. "Hey, you started it on Friday!"

"Andrew's the one that started it. Are you going to guess any more warnings or do I have to remind you of the others?"

"Don't drink too much, keep my hands to myself, use a condom if Anna ever goes off of birth control. I think I've about covered it."

Alex laughed softly and agreed with Gary before walking him out to his car and giving him a brief embrace, wishing him luck and reminding him to behave himself while the young man rolled his eyes and climbed into the Camaro.

"Bye, Alex; remember to ask Monica to marry you, don't spill any concentrated acids in the lab at school, and remember to wear a jacket when you ride your motorcycle!" Gary teased as he started the ignition.

"Oh, shut up, you pain in the ass! I'll see you in a month or so – drive carefully!" He reminded Gary harshly, even though he knew the boy wouldn't listen.

Gary closed the door and waved before backing out of the driveway and speeding off down the road in the direction of the house Shawn shared with Damien and Jon. Alex sighed and rubbed the back of his neck as the tires of the red and black car squealed further down the street; Gary might change completely over the next few months but his driving was certain to remain the same. He just hoped the boy had enough luck keep the car in one piece. He'd known he had been hovering much closer around Gary than usual lately but hadn't realized exactly how much he had been interfering when it wasn't needed. It was all on the teenager now and all he could do was hope that things would work out in the end. Despite his doubts, he had a nagging feeling that things would be just fine.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

When Alex mentions the Symphony X song, he's referring to chapter 32 when he went up to Gary's room after Gary and Anna had their serious talk. The lyrics to that song (Out of the Ashes) really kind of correspond with what Gary's going through – trying to get past everything he's been through in his past and using those experiences to grow from a teenage boy into a man so google the lyrics if you're interested. I've probably mentioned this before but Symphony X is a really great band if you're looking for something new to listen to – they've got some really pretty songs that aren't necessarily slow or ballad-like but they've also got some really awesome heavy and energetic songs. There's a lot of neat keyboard/piano things and they have awesome guitar work and a great vocalist. If you like Kansas or Yngwie Malmsteen, you will definitely like them – there's some heavy influence from both bands. But if you're interested, definitely check out some songs on Youtube. I'm going to stop while I'm ahead…

So, this is a major turning point in the story and it's going to start moving a lot faster now since I'm actually starting to look at wrapping this up. I think I have at least another twenty chapters in me but they'll start covering more ground and taking place over longer periods of time in the story. I will try to have a new chapter each week but I think updates will generally be two or three chapters every two weeks like they have been for the past couple months.

Snailsgomoo – I actually do something similar with writing; get a school assignment done, then write for an hour or so, it's the perfect reward system! Well… other than ice cream. I'm so glad to see another Tracey/Gary fan – I started it as a joke but it's grown on me (like fanfiction in general) and now it's my favorite. Egoshipping seems to be either a hit or a miss, which is actually why I want to write one. Thank you very much for what you said about the fight scene, they're really hard to write and that one took me a long time so I'm glad to hear that it was well done.

Arch-trainer – I'm glad you liked Differences; I definitely enjoyed writing it since Andrew is a fun character to really flesh out and thank you for the compliment. I agree with what you said about the plan in 43, it was really stupid but it let Gary get out frustration. Alex is a bit over-protective of Gary, which kind of comes up quite a bit in this chapter.


	46. Chapter 46: New Beginnings Part 1

**Beyond the Walls**

I reached 50 reviews! Yay!! Thanks for all your support, guys!

Chapter 46: New Beginnings Part 1

Gary frowned as he rang the doorbell at Damien's house for a second time, a ring that went unanswered. He rolled his eyes and tried the door knob to find it unlocked. "Figures," he muttered under his breath as he entered the house and shut the door behind him. He was greeted by a jumble of mixed noises – the banging and smashing of drums from the direction of the den, the blaring of a movie on the television in the living room, and what sounded like a Sirenia song playing loudly from the direction of Shawn's bedroom.

No wonder no one had answered the door but, of course, Gary had grown used to this – after all, there _was_ a reason why the three boys left the front door unlocked for their friends.

He made his way down the front hall, past the kitchen, and into the living room where Damien was sitting on the couch with his laptop in front of him while watching what appeared to be a Resident Evil movie on tv. Gary rested his arms on the back of the couch and peered over Damien's broad shoulders at the computer screen.

"Yes, nosy?" Damien asked, seemingly unsurprised by Gary's appearance.

Gary glanced at the screenname of the person he was chatting to on the computer. "Why are you talking to my sister?"

Damien sent a slightly exasperated glance Gary's way. "Am I not allowed to talk to a friend online?"

"Since when are you friends with my sister?"

"Since when are you so goddamn paranoid?"

"I am _not_ paranoid – hey!" Gary exclaimed, reading the short message Damien had just typed to May. "I'm not a pain in the ass!"

"Could've fooled me," Damien muttered in response, chuckling softly at the affirmative response he received from the girl.

"Gee, I feel so loved," Gary replied sarcastically, straightening up and starting for the hallway leading to Shawn's bedroom.

Damien glanced up as Gary began to walk off. "Hey, before you go help Blondie," he called, waiting for the other boy to pause and turn before continuing. "What was up on Saturday? You were acting different at the party."

Gary frowned slightly, a bit thrown off by the question. "Nothing was up, I just didn't feel like drinking."

"Yeah, I know you had to drive but you usually act differently than you did on Saturday. You sure everything was ok?"

"Yes, Damien," Gary sighed with a slight roll of his eyes as he turned to continue towards Shawn's room.

"Just for the record," Gary stopped and turned towards the older boy once more. "I liked you more than I normally do – you're more fun to be around when you're being yourself then you are when you're depressed or stressed out. You don't have to keep up that wall all the time, you know."

Gary simply nodded mutely before turning a final time and walking to Shawn's room. Shawn's bedroom had always made him feel claustrophobic – it was small, dark, crowded, and always uncomfortably warm from all three of the boy's computer constantly running at the same time. The room was smaller than either Ash's or Kate's, which were both about half the size of the smallest room in the Oak mansion, and the dark green walls didn't help matters any. He stopped in the doorway to the room and sighed as his eyes swept over the small desk that looked ready to collapse under the weight of two huge computers, the table next to it with Shawn's newer laptop set up on it, the bookshelves that were crammed with books of all sorts, the stacks of dvds that looked ready to topple over at any moment… Gary shook his head, was he the only one of his friends capable of keeping a bedroom livable?

"I see you've done a lot of packing," Gary spoke up sarcastically, grinning when Shawn jumped at the sound of his voice. "You do realize we're leaving _tomorrow,_ right? That means we have to get all of this shit packed in a few hours."

"I know but I was working on the computers and lost track of time…" Shawn's voice trailed off as he typed something on one of the computers.

Gary groaned. "You've got to be kidding me – Shawn, get off of your ass and start packing up! Did you at least pick up boxes?"

"Jon did, they're in his room I think."

Gary shook his head and rolled his eyes, Shawn had a tendency to become scatter-brained and it had always annoyed him to no end. "I'll go get them," he sighed. "Those computers better be turned off when I get back in here!"

It was Shawn's turn to roll his eyes. "Yes, Dad," he replied sarcastically as Gary headed back down the hallway towards the other boy's room.

Gary couldn't help but smirk at Shawn's sardonic response. Something about it, coupled with the talk he'd just had with Alex, had triggered something in him that made him laugh quietly to himself for some reason that he wasn't quite sure about. Either way, this was going to be a long night.

--- --- ---

Gary sighed and flipped his cell phone shut. Of course Andrew had somehow managed to be held up at the house without any reasoning behind his delay; he should have known this would happen. Running a hand through his hair, he turned and walked back into the diner. He and Ash had been out picking up more packing supplies for Shawn and Chelsea to finish packing and had decided to meet Tracey and Andrew for lunch at the diner while Chris and May had gone out someplace with Anna and Damien to kill time while they waited on Chelsea and Shawn. Andrew had stopped by his grandparents' house to say goodbye to them and his sister and to help his brother pack up his own belongings since Nik was moving into the house.

To say Gary was annoyed was a bit of an understatement. They had planned everything out carefully – they'd had a week to pack, that should have been _plenty_ of time to pack up everything. But, of course, everything had been put off and now it was one in the afternoon and they were not even close to leaving. He was truly pissed off at this point.

"Andrew and Trace are going to be awhile," he explained to Ash as he returned to his seat with a scowl. To Gary's surprise, Ash only nodded distractedly before returning to playing with a napkin on the table. "You're being quiet today," Gary observed. "What's up, you're usually talking enough to make me want to kill you."

Ash smiled slightly at the comment but didn't laugh or argue like he usually did. "I've been thinking," he began.

"Oh, that explains it," Gary muttered and grinned at the boy. "You must have the migraine from hell by now." Ash laughed this time and threw a roll at Gary, who only caught it and grinned again. "I was just going to ask you for one of these, you must've been reading my mind," he replied calmly.

"I don't even want to know what goes on in your head," Ash muttered under his breath. Gary heard the mutter and smirked slightly. "And I don't have a headache, you idiot!"

"Will you just tell what's been keep you occupied enough to shut that massive mouth of yours?" Gary asked. "I'll have to write it down and bring it up whenever you start getting on my nerves," he added under his breath.

Ash sighed and let the comment go. "I talked to Professor Oak about what it takes to become a gym leader."

Gary leaned back in his seat. "Yeah, you told me. The day after Christmas, remember?"

"I remember."

"Well? What about it?"

"There's a lot of stuff you have to do for it."

"Imagine that," Gary muttered sarcastically. He rolled his eyes as Ash glared at him. "Fine, I'll take the bait – what type of 'stuff' do you have to do?"

"Well, you have to collect all of the badges in the territory you want to be a leader, you have to place in the top four of one of the major competitions –"

"If you train hard enough, you might be able to do that part this year, you know."

"Shut up, Gary, I'll get there in a minute. You also have to pass the league exams on –"

"Pokemon training, wild behavior, attacks, evolution, and morphology; I know." Gary recalled a conversation he and the boy had when he had gone over to his house the day after Christmas. Ash's mother had bought him the study guides for the exams and Gary himself had been required to take them for the university. "I already told you – they're easy. Is there anything else?"

"You have to have at least one hundred pokemon species that you've trained personally, including evolutions, and that's it. I already have about seventy-five and I'll be redoing Kanto after the Pokemon League competition up at the Plateau in May so that shouldn't be so bad."

"Not to mention the growlithe pups that are due in like a week; you can get one once their old enough to leave their mother." Gary pointed out. "And then you'll probably be able to get an eevee with this project that we'll be starting on. Maybe Grandpa will let you have a few and you can evolve them – if you can handle them, that is. Eevees tend to be a bit demonic; you should've seen Umbreon when I first got her, I was tempted to bring her to a priest and have her exorcised."

Ash snickered. "I managed Pikachu, I think I can handle an eevee."

"Good luck with that," Gary replied with a sarcastic edge to his voice. The sarcasm fell away as he spoke again, this time thoughtfully. "Mating season starts soon too, you could score a _ton_ of new pokemon. The rattata breed like crazy and so do most of the grass types. The nidoran evolutions tend to be pretty horny as well…"

"Well, they do have a bunch of little horns on their body, it's a little hard not to be."

Gary stared at him with a strange expression for a moment before laughing and shaking his head. "That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant," Ash muttered. "I'm going to be working at the lab so I can see what types of pokemon are there and pick out the ones I want."

"Yep. Wait a second, rewind. You're going to be _what_?" Gary asked slowly, taking in exactly what Ash had just said.

"Professor Oak offered me a job in the lab as an assistant like Tracey. Just until I leave for the competition in May and then for Kanto. Um… There's something else too…"

Gary groaned at the thought of Ash being around in the lab – the boy was as big of a spazz as Andrew! It was a recipe for disaster. "What?"

"Well… Your grandfather said I should ask you to, um, to help me train for the competition," Ash said in a nervous tone.

"Why?"

"Because he thinks it would be good for you… And because you're a good trainer," he added grudgingly.

Gary rolled his eyes, prepared to tell Ash 'no' before he paused and actually thought about it. It could be fun, he figured; spending a few hours outside each day _would_ be nice and it would give him something to do other than just hang around the house and lab. His grandfather had already told him that there wouldn't exactly be that much work at first, not until the eevee kits began being born at least, and that wasn't for several months. Not to mention Umbreon and Arcanine would enjoy it, and he'd actually be able to work with some of the pokemon he hadn't spent much time with in years. It would probably help him deal with the stress of living with so many people and from working in the lab and it would likely keep him from dwelling on anything that bothered him.

It couldn't be bad for him physically either – he hadn't been able to go running as often as he liked to since moving home and he could already see his muscles becoming less defined, which annoyed him. Running combined with training was sure to solve _that_ particular problem. Not to mention it would give him back the tan he'd had when he was younger; he'd realized recently exactly how pale he was and found it to be almost eerie.

Finally, after several minutes of silence during which Ash fidgeted nervously in his seat, Gary nodded. "Fine, I'll help you," he conceded.

"Help with what?" A familiar voice asked.

Gary glanced up to see Andrew, Tracey, and Chelsea sit down at the table. "About time you got here, you were only supposed to be here half an hour ago. And I'm going to help Ash train for the Pokemon League competition in May. Chelsea, I thought you were packing?"

"I finished and I loaded my stuff in my car and the truck. Chris managed to get everything of his into his own car but I don't know how he's going to be able to see out of it–"

"I split my stuff up between my car and the truck; that's what took me so long. Now we're just waiting on Shawn to finish so that he can put everything in the van, fucking slowpoke." Andrew interrupted Chelsea and received a venomous glare for it.

"Are you competing at the Indigo Plateau, Ash?" Chelsea asked, turning the topic away from the move. Ash nodded in response. "Oh cool, I competed a few years back – well, more than a few; more like eight. Made it to the third round with nine badges. The badges don't have an expiration date do they?"

Ash laughed at her wording and shook his head. "The badges are good for ten years if you're a gym leader; you have to battle for them again after ten years. But if you're just a trainer then they're always good."

"Sweet. I'll help you train; I'd actually like to go compete again, I think it'd be fun. What do you say, Gary?"

Gary stared at her. "What do I say about what? You competing?"

"Yeah!"

"Uh, have fun, I guess…"

Andrew laughed at the questioning way Gary had said his response. "I never got to go to the competition, I'd been training for three years and I had eleven badges when I ended up back here in Pastoria. I think it would be kinda cool for all of us to compete against each other."

"You're going to compete too?" Gary asked incredulously.

"Yeah, why not?"

"You haven't trained in like six years!"

"And? Neither has Chels. Hell, _you_ haven't even trained in four years!"

Gary rolled his eyes and turned to Tracey. "Don't tell me you're planning on jumping on this bandwagon."

Tracey smiled at him. "Gary, I have three pokemon and no badges. How would I possibly compete?" He asked reasonably, unsure of why exactly Gary was making such a big deal about Andrew and Chelsea's decisions.

Ash grinned at Gary's obvious annoyance. "Come on, Gary! You know you wanna compete with us too!"

"Or are you too much of a pussy to do it?" Andrew taunted.

"I am not a pussy," Gary replied calmly, taking a sip of his water and ignoring Ash's comment.

"Chicken," Ash teased.

"You know what, fine! I'll compete too – happy now?" Gary snapped. He crossed his arms over chest and glared at his three friends.

"Boy, that didn't take much convincing."

"Shut up, Ash!"

The boy only laughed and gave Gary a gloating grin.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

If you guys check my profile, you might just find a little eight chapter surprise near the bottom.

You guessed it – _Changes_ is finally up! I mention this at the beginning of the first chapter of it, but chapter 8 is where the adventure begins so please don't be put off by the first 7 chapters because those chapters are really just to get that story caught up with this one. Anyways, I hope you like it if you decide to read it. I don't know how often I'll get to update it, it really depends on how fast things move in _BtW_.

By the way, the whole training/competition thing isn't going to be a big part of this story – it's going to make up the bulk of _Changes_.

Snailsgomoo – talk about a fast review! Lol, the chapter was up for less than an hour when I checked the stats! I'm glad the Odin part makes you laugh – I stole that from my boyfriend and started doing it around the time I wrote the chapter where it first came up. Thanks for the review!

Kasandra – thanks!


	47. Chapter 47: New Beginnings Part 2

**Beyond The Walls**

This chapter is dedicated to anyone who's ever lost someone close to them without ever getting to tell them how much they meant to you or without ever getting the chance to do something you really wanted to do with them. The final third of this chapter is about that.

Chapter 47: New Beginnings Part 2

Anna was in the middle of helping May, Chris, and Shawn load all of Shawn's belongings into the van when Andrew's Nova pulled up, closely followed by Gary's Camaro. She was glad to see that Gary was no longer annoyed as he had been before leaving, though it now looked as though he had something on his mind. She sighed softly and passed off the box she was holding to Chris, Gary had been far less thoughtful over the past few days and it had left him in a much more pleasant mood than usual. Seeing him more relaxed and happy made her heart soar – this was the Gary she had fallen in love with, the last thing she wanted to see was him fall back into his habit of over-thinking everything.

"What is it this time?" She asked as her boyfriend approached her.

Gary smiled at the slight irritation he could hear in her voice. "Relax, it's not a big deal… at least not until May, that is."

"What did you do?"

"I'll tell you inside; it's cold out," Gary replied and side-stepped her to walk to the front door of the house.

Anna frowned but followed him inside anyway. The weather _was_ cold and there were several inches of snow on the ground; still, she wasn't particularly cold between her leather jacket and the time she had spent helping load up the cars that afternoon. It was typical for Gary to wear only his sweatshirt even in the freezing weather of Sinnoh even though she knew that he was far more sensitive to the cold than he claimed to be.

Hurrying to catch up, Anna found him in the kitchen. "You know, if you would wear a jacket you wouldn't get so damn cold," she chastised as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Gary ignored the comment and pulled himself up on to the counter. "Ash decided he wants to compete in the League competition in May."

"And what does this have to do with you?"

"I agreed to help him train for it."

Anna walked across the room to stand in front of him and rested her hands on his chest. "Yeah?" Gary nodded. "I think that'll be good for you."

"That's apparently what my grandfather said when he told Ash to ask me," Gary muttered.

"And you're annoyed about this?"

"Not really… I know it would be good to do and that's why I agreed to do it."

"But?" Anna prompted.

Gary sighed and rested his hands on Anna's waist, slowly trailing his fingers over the fabric of the green sweater under her jacket. "Chelsea and our gay lovebirds showed up right when I agreed to help him and Andrew and Chels decided to help Ash train too –"

"That should fun for you guys," Anna commented lazily.

"That's not all they decided to do." Gary smiled slightly as Anna's eyebrows rose. "They decided to compete too –"

"And they talked you into it, didn't they?" He nodded in response. "And what's the big deal? You like competition, you liked training, and you still like pokemon."

Gary pondered it for a moment before responding, it was something he had thought over a bit on the drive back from the diner. "The thing is, I'm not a trainer. Regardless of how much I might like training or working with the pokemon – and I don't even know that I _will_ like it – I'm not serious about it. I haven't even done it in four years and there are kids that train nonstop for these competitions and are really serious about it; how fair is it for me to go in and compete against them?"

"You're only saying that because you know you'll kick ass. Gary, those trainers that you three are going to absolutely slaughter need to lose at some point – if a trainer that doesn't have their heart into it can beat them then they're not good enough to make it."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better about it. I just… I don't know, I remember how I was as a trainer…"

"I see where you're going with this now," Anna interrupted. "Not everyone is like you; you take losses particularly hard and if you think that everyone you beat is going to go off and slit their wrists over the loss then you're just, well, you're just being paranoid. You're just afraid that you'll actually have fun – what's the worst than can happen? You lose? You battle one of your friends? Give me a break, babe; you've seriously got to knock this shit off."

"I wasn't dwelling on it; it just came to mind on the drive over, that's all."

Anna doubted this but let it go, she had news of her own to give to Gary. "Looks like we'll both be busy when we get back home then."

"What do you mean?" Gary asked, suddenly worried.

"It's not really a big deal, I'll just be getting my GED and then I'll… start looking at colleges and… stuff…" Anna's voice had softened to a mutter and then trailed away entirely as Gary's eyes widened.

"Not a big deal? Anna, you do realize that there aren't any colleges in Pallet, right?"

"Gary, chill out! I'm probably going to one of the schools in Viridian; I mean, there're how many schools there? The art and music one that Rachael goes to, the community college that Kate goes to, and then the university that Michelle goes to. It's not like I'm leaving Pallet."

"Anna, you don't have a car! How else are you going to get there?"

Anna grimaced and nervously twirled a lock of ebony hair around one of her fingers. "Um, yeah… About that… Mom got me a Christmas present that I didn't tell you about."

Gary sighed and closed his eyes, silently praying that Nicole hadn't gotten her daughter a motorcycle – Anna had owned one for a few short years until she had crashed it in his second year in Sinnoh. She'd fortunately only gotten a broken leg and severe road rash but Gary could vividly recall the panic he'd felt when May told him over the phone that his best friend had been in an accident. "Please don't tell me it has two wheels…"

The grin that spread across Anna's face worried him. "She got me a nineteen-eighty Firebird!" She exclaimed excitedly, clasping her hands together in obvious joy.

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

Anna's smile faded quickly and she visibly deflated under his gaze. "Well it's, um, it's kinda… lacking in some important areas. It's in Cerulean right now, one of my cousins is getting it in driving condition before giving it to me. Then it's up to me to get new interior. Aren't you happy for me?"

"Thrilled," Gary replied dryly. "Another muscle car, as if greater Pallet doesn't have enough of those."

"Oh come on – it's just Mom's 'Vette, your Camaro, Andrew's Nova, and Michelle's father's Chevelle. Please be happy for me, Gary? It's my favorite car and I've always wanted one. And I really want to go to college and do something in my life."

Gary looked down at her and smiled grudgingly. He worried about her going to school; chances were, she'd be looked at as 'that weird girl' and he knew she didn't want that. He wasn't sure about schools other than the one he'd been too, but college wasn't easy and he didn't want to see her bite off more than she could chew. 'Damn it, Alex is wearing off on me,' he thought to himself. After little more than two months of dating, they were both changing drastically; his biggest worry was that they would grow apart.

--- --- ---

Tracey had thought that the second floor of the mansion could never be more chaotic than it had been when Gary and Anna swapped Gary's bedroom with the music room but he had been wrong. To say that everything was in disarray would be an understatement – it was more as though the house had gone through a tornado, earthquake, and stampede all in rapid succession. There were boxes all over the place; furniture had been moved from room to room, from the attic to the second floor and vice-versa; it was simply a mess. They had been back in Pallet for two days now and the house in general had an air of discordance to it and that was one of the main reasons he was currently in the lab examining the pregnant arcanine.

"You must have read my mind Tracey," Professor Oak spoke up from behind him. "I was going to do that myself after feeding the water pokemon."

Tracey laughed softly and paused to scratch the canine's ears. "No, I've just worked here long enough to know what you'll do," he replied quietly.

"That's certainly true; you've been here, what? Six years now?" Tracey nodded as he prepared the arcanine for an ultrasound. "You've certainly become good friends with May and the other girls, I'm almost surprised you haven't dated any of them – especially Michelle, you two are so close."

Tracey frowned and paused as he rubbed the gel on the dog's stomach and reached for the wand. "Well, I've just been so busy in the lab that I haven't really thought about having a, uh, girlfriend," he said uncomfortably, hoping that the professor wouldn't notice the faint flush that had spread across his cheeks. He wondered if there was a reason the professor was bringing this up now.

"With so many other people beginning work in the lab this month you should have some more free time. How do the puppies look?"

"Pretty good, they're getting close… It looks like we might have a weak runt again, though," he sighed as he eyed the smallest puppy on the screen.

"Looks like it," the professor replied affirmatively as he peered over his assistant's shoulder at the screen. "Good thing we've got Gary here, he's wonderful with young pokemon. You should have seen it when he got his eevee; whoever thought something so small and fluffy could pack such a nasty bite?"

Tracey laughed, unable to picture that arrogant umbreon as a feisty little eevee even though he'd heard stories from Michelle and May about the 'demonic ball of fur', as Michelle had put it. "But is he able to handle a runt that might need to be hand raised?"

"Oh, I'm certain he can."

Tracey noticed an unreadable expression cross the professor's face and wondered what he was thinking. One thing was for sure, if everything went well, the researchers' first week in the lab would be spent doing physicals on growlithe puppies. He glanced up as the backdoor opened suddenly and Ash and Gary walked in, both flushed and sweaty with Ash breathing heavily. Gary had wasted no time in helping Ash with his training and had even made the boy go running with him and Chelsea that morning before they'd begun working with Umbreon and Pikachu. Tracey couldn't help but feel a bit bad for Ash as the boy looked exhausted while Gary looked completely unfazed.

Ash dropped into one of the desk chairs and closed his eyes wearily while Gary stripped off his sweatshirt and leaned against the lab bench closest to Tracey.

Professor Oak glanced at the visibly exhausted Ash before turning his attention to his grandson. "Goodness, Gary; you'll kill the poor boy before he even turns eighteen!" He exclaimed sounding partially amused and partially concerned.

Gary smirked. "Poor baby will die a virgin," he said, sending a glance Tracey's way as he did so.

Tracey frowned; he didn't like the way Gary brought up sex right after Professor Oak had brought up dating. Perhaps he was being paranoid but he was a bit nervous that he would have to come clean with his sexuality sometime soon.

"I hope you boys are remembering to drink plenty of water," the professor chastised before he turned and walked into his office.

Tracey waited until the professor was out of earshot before speaking. "Are you two onto something together?" He asked Gary, who looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"He just finished saying that he's surprised I haven't dated any of the girls."

"And?"

"I'm _gay_," Tracey pointed out.

"Gee, you think? You've only sucked me off and let Andrew fuck you," Gary replied flatly.

Tracey rolled his eyes, Gary's sarcasm had been more abundant lately and it had been getting on his nerves. "At least I know when I'm in a relationship with a guy," he snapped as he cleaned up the ultrasound materials.

"Jeez, Trace; you on your period?" Tracey glared at him as he put away the equipment he had been working with before sighing and sitting down on stool at the lab bench. "What is it?"

"I don't know, I guess I'm just getting tired of keeping it a secret," he muttered and ran a hand through his hair.

"So why don't you tell him?"

Tracey sighed again. "I guess I'm just worried about how he'll react," he sighed.

"I doubt he'll care. Come on, Trace, just tell him." Gary smiled as Tracey stared at him in surprise. "Want me to tell him I dated Andrew? Hey, Grandpa!"

"Gary!" Tracey scolded shrilly as Professor Oak stuck his head out of the office.

A smug grin made it's way across Gary's face as he glanced at his grandfather. "Never mind," he said with a small shake of the head. "Wuss," he hissed under his breath at Tracey.

"You're one to talk!"

"Oh, calm down! This must really be bothering you if you're being this moody. You really should tell him, and I mean it, I will tell him about me and Andrew. Don't go getting your panties in twist over it."

"Do you realize how gay that sounded?"

Gary grinned. "Well, I _am_ half gay… Actually, more like a third gay…"

Tracey laughed softly, Gary talking so casually about sexuality was calming him down considerably. He had noticed in Sinnoh that the younger teen had been much more open about his own sexuality since their second day in Pastoria. "So we're getting into gay mathematics now?"

"It's less gay than calculus – calc _really_ blows."

"And you swallow, so what does it matter?" Tracey asked with a laugh.

"Only sometimes," Gary muttered as a slight blush darkened his cheeks.

"I don't really want to hear you two talking about all of your gay experiences," Ash called to them from his seat across the room.

"Think you could be a bit louder, Ashy?" Gary called back before lowering his voice to talk to Tracey. "If we wanted to talk about experiences then we could tell him all about everything we did back in October, right?" He asked with a playful wink and a laugh. He sobered when Tracey didn't laugh in response and realized that Tracey's eyes were focused on something behind him. He sighed softly and mentally cursed himself. "He's behind me, isn't he?" He asked Tracey and received a nod in response. He closed his eyes for a moment. "How much did you hear, Grandpa?"

"More than enough."

Gary bit his lip, he knew an awkward conversation was on the way. He forced an impassive expression onto his face and turning to meet his grandfather's eyes coolly. "You could have said something, you know."

"I found myself a bit speechless and I have to say that this explains quite a bit," the professor's eyes flicked over to Tracey for a brief second before settling on his grandson once more. "I have no problem with Tracey, I've had my suspicions for awhile," he admitted. "But, for some reason, I'm finding myself rather disappointed in you." Gary rolled his eyes and sighed again. "Now isn't the time for your attitude, Gary. Tracey, could you please take care of the horses for me?" Tracey nodded silently and turned to fetch the bucket of grain from the storage room containing the pokemon food after gesturing for Ash to come with him.

Professor Oak waited until both boys had left before shifting his gaze back to Gary.

"Yet another one of your little secrets, Gary," he said with a small sigh. "I'm surprised you didn't bring this up in October; did you really think I would have a problem with this?"

Gary closed his eyes for moment; this was not something he wanted to deal with right now, though he didn't have much choice in the matter. "I didn't bring it up then because I wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea."

"Yet you were comfortable enough to have 'experiences' with Tracey in that same month?"

"That was after we talked," Gary muttered. 'Even if it was only by a few hours,' he added silently.

His grandfather was quiet for a few moments that seemed to stretch on towards infinity. "Well, this does explain that little slip you had when we were talking before picking up Alex and your friends." Gary looked up at him suddenly. He thought his grandfather had missed that particular slip-up. "You thought I didn't notice? I did; I didn't know what to make of it so I didn't say anything. What was it that you had called me for? I assume it had something to do with this, judging by Tracey's reaction."

Gary groaned; he had been willing to say it with Tracey there but now… Now it was hard to force the words to even enter his mind, much less come out of his mouth. "Tracey seemed kind of bothered by keeping the fact that he's gay a secret so I told him that… I would, um –"

"Tell me that you were attracted to both genders?" The professor prompted, sensing Gary's hesitation.

"Well… Sort of," Gary replied with a slight grimace.

"What did you do?" Professor Oak asked, recognizing that particular grimace that his grandson had made. It was the same face he'd always made as a child whenever he'd done something he wasn't supposed to but didn't feel any remorse over it. Gary stammered over his response for a moment before his grandfather rolled his eyes. "Just tell me," he demanded lightly.

"I dated Andrew," Gary finally said.

The professor looked surprised and stayed silent for a moment, regarding Gary with a strange expression. "Okay," he replied after a tense minute. "Let me get this straight – wipe that smirk off of your face! I know exactly what you're thinking," he interjected as Gary unsuccessfully fought down an amused smile at his grandfather's choice of words. "Like father, like son; it never ends. So, you dated your best friend – best _male_ friend, I'll add; you," he struggled for a word. "Experimented with Tracey," he finally stated delicately. "And you didn't bring up your sexuality in October because you 'weren't comfortable with it'?" Gary nodded. "Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?"

"I do now," Gary replied honestly, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. "It's just that I didn't really realize that I was bisexual until halfway through September and –"

"September? I take it you dated Andrew while you were in school?" Gary nodded again. "Gary…"

"Don't ask, I know it doesn't make sense and it never really occurred to me that I had even dated him until last week."

Once more at a loss for words, the professor simply stared at his grandson. "Gary, how is it someone as intelligent as you can fail to notice something like that?"

"Um, temporary lapse in brain function?" He suggested with a small shrug.

Professor Oak chuckled at that. "Lapse in brain function," he echoed. "I'll buy it – it doesn't make sense, but I'll buy it and consider it a result of overworking yourself at school."

"Are we done now?"

"As long as there isn't anything else you need to tell me, yes, we're done for now. Go help Tracey get Ash used to the lab and reserve; Lord knows the boy needs all the help he can get."

Gary grinned and left the lab, tempted to correct his grandfather in the manner Andrew would but deciding not to push his luck. He wandered across the reserve, knowing he was supposed to go help the other two boys but instead walking across the fields towards a small wooded area near the lake. Tugging his sweatshirt back on, he cursed himself for not dressing warmer; there was several inches of snow covering the ground, with prints of all shapes and sizes crossing paths every way possible. The reserve seemed far more empty than usual as many of the pokemon had been relocated to their pokeballs to wait out the cold weather. Of course, several of his pokemon had stayed outdoors.

As he trudged through the snow and fought back shivers, he saw two canine figures running around ahead of him, oblivious to their approaching trainer. Gary smiled at the sight of Umbreon bounding around Arcanine, nipping at the larger dog's tail on occasion. It was fitting that his two favorite pokemon were the two that got along best. He couldn't help but laugh as Umbreon leapt at Arcanine and sailed over the fire dog as it ducked, causing her to land in a heap on the snow. Even from a considerable distance, he could see the dark pokemon's ears perk up at the sound of her trainer's laugh echoing across the field. She shook the snow off of her glossy fur, only to become covered in more of the cold substance when Arcanine suddenly shot up from the ground and took off running towards their trainer. Gary watched the two canines approach him and felt strangely calm, more at ease than he had been in a long time while in Pallet. Arcanine reached him first and quickly rolled over in front of him to expose his belly in a submissive manner. Another small smile spread across Gary's face; he'd always been a bit amused by the way such a powerful creature treated him as a dominant pack leader, which he supposed he essentially was as their trainer.

He kneeled down and scratched the fire dog's belly. "Hey, boy, miss me when I was in Sinnoh?" Gary asked softly, laughing quietly as Arcanine wagged his tail wildly, sending up a sudden spray of snow that Umbreon dodged. "I was only gone for a week, you dope," he teased the dog as it rolled back over and stood to lick Gary's face. "Looks like you'll be a father in a few days, huh? For the _fourth_ time, too… Who knows, maybe in a few years I'll have my own kid. Scary thought, isn't it? Especially with Anna," he mused as he continued to stroke Arcanine's ears. The large dog responded only by nuzzling his face while Umbreon sidled up next to them, her fur and body heat warming Gary considerably. He had gone back to petting Arcanine when Umbreon suddenly grabbed the hood of his sweatshirt in her teeth and tugged hard enough to nearly pull her trainer over. "Hey! Jealous much? You know you're only supposed to do that when I'm wearing one of Andrew's shirts," Gary laughed as he pushed the smaller of the two pokemon.

--- --- ---

Professor Oak watched from just outside the lab door as his grandson played with his two pokemon in the distance; the sight of the boy laughing and rolling around in the snow as Umbreon pinned him and began licking his face warmed the professor's heart. It was times like this that he saw a glimpse of the child that had all but died nearly eleven years earlier and he was forcefully reminded of his own son at Gary's age – wrestling in the snow with his best friend or fiancée, or even May and Gary a few years later. As a younger man he had loved watching his son play with his grandchildren; the sound of the children's shrieks of laughter as their father would pick them up and hold them high in the air had been enough to bring a warm smile to his face and he would do anything to hear that laughter once more.

He watched as Umbreon and Arcanine leapt at each other playfully, leaving Gary with barely enough time to duck out of the way with a laugh. He could feel that smile creeping across his face – that laugh that had echoed across the snow was the same laugh he'd heard years before. It was deeper, more controlled, but still held that childlike joy that one could hardly associate with Gary.

The professor's thoughts were broken when a streak of brown and cream colored fur darted in front of him, heading towards Gary and the two dogs in the distance with a series of excited barks. He turned to see Kate walking up the driveway, bundled up in a puffy purple jacket with a dark pink hat and gloves, giggling as she watched her eevee bound across the snow. She and Professor Oak greeted each other politely before she watched her friend scoop up the excited ball of fluff that was Shadow with a cheerful greeting directed at the smallest canine.

"I haven't seen Gary act like that in years," she said in a somewhat-awed voice.

Professor Oak nodded, a brainstorm starting to unfold in the back of his mind as he watched the way his grandson interacted with the animals. Tracey had pointed out that the runt of the litter due to be born any day was likely to be weak while he himself had mentioned how good his grandson was with young pokemon. Perhaps, if everything went well, this could be the thing to finally help Gary through everything.

Little did he know that he hadn't been the only one remembering events from so many years ago…

--- --- ---

Gary smiled as he finally set Shadow down and directed the three dogs towards the lab. He had been playing with them for close to an hour – longer than he could ever remember playing with them at one time. Being in the snow, laughing and playing… It had brought up memories he'd forced to the back of his mind and somehow managed to have a sort of soothing effect on him. As he watched the pokemon trudge through the trampled snow towards the lab he felt stronger than he had before…

It was time for him to do something long overdue. The time felt right now; he'd made enough progress in recent months to finally move on.

He turned and headed across the grounds, walking around the side of the house and towards the woods. The woods were startlingly pretty with the carpet of white and with small icicles hanging off of the trees; his boots crunched over the snow as he walked along the path between the trees. There was still a sense of dreariness to the area but it was laced with something else: comfort – the feeling that everything would be ok, that the worst was over.

He reached the cemetery quickly and pushed the gate open, cursing under his breath as it the metal screeched it's protest. Gary crossed the icy ground to the two stones and knelt before them, this was different from the last two times he had been in here.

"I guess this is it, isn't it?" he asked softly, the question directed towards no one in particular. He sighed quietly before going on. "May said you guys would be proud of me but somehow I doubt you would be proud of a moody, spoiled little brat… God, these past few months have been so hard, I don't think I've ever missed you so much. I know I've said it so many times in the past but this is the last time I'm saying it – I'm done. No more. I've got to grow up and move on." He scooped up a handful of snow and formed a small ball with it, smiling sadly as he did so. "I guess all I can really do is wish that I'd gotten a chance to actually say good bye and tell you how much I love you… And hope that there's some sort of afterlife so that I can see you again one day." By this time tears were steadily streaming down his face, the hot liquid warming his skin in the cold. "So here it goes, I guess. I don't think it's possible for anyone to have better parents – you were always there for me, you never put down my dreams, and you were always patient and loving with me… I guess the Iron Maiden song was right, Dad – only the good die young; that was off your favorite album too. Is it stupid that I managed to come up with that?" Gary glanced down at the image on his sweatshirt and laughed softly, the laugh turning into a soft sob.

The gate creaked noisily behind him and he felt the presence of someone behind him.

"Déjà vu," Gary muttered before laughing suddenly. "Another Iron Maiden song - my god!"

"You couldn't really pick a better band to mention though; it was Daddy's favorite after all."

Gary turned to see May standing behind him with a small smile on her face. "Yeah," was the only response he could muster before succumbing to laughter once more. "I was playing with Umbreon earlier and Arcanine shook off and got snow all over both of us," he began as May slowly sat down next to him. "And the only thing I could think of was the time Mom helped us build an igloo –"

"And Dad and Alex made it cave in with us in it!" May giggled. "I remember that. You were only five when that happened… You were so mad at them for making it collapse that you tried pegging them with snowballs but your aim was so pitiful that you got Mom instead!"

Both siblings broke into laughter as they remembered things from childhood; May's hand slipped into her brother's grasp as he spoke shakily.

"How about the time when I was four and Mom got us water guns and you somehow managed to shoot yourself in the face? You were crying so much that Dad almost took you to the emergency room because he thought you were hurt."

"You remember that?"

Gary nodded with a laugh that May soon joined. They sat there like that for a long while, holding hands and reminding each other of stories while sharing laughs and tears until the light began to fade from the sky. Realizing how frozen they were, the two teens headed inside and found themselves in the living room, flipping through photo albums and continuing to reminisce even when their grandfather joined them. Gary was startled by how often he found himself crying and laughing at the same time; he had never felt so supported since his parents' death as he did when he broke down in tears for the first time that night in front of his grandfather, eliciting a comforting embrace from both of his relatives. After several hours, they had been through every photo album and were ready to go their separate ways for the night. Gary closed the final album and pushed it across the coffee table towards his grandfather, only to have it pushed back to him.

"Keep it, Gary," Professor Oak said quietly, smiling at his grandson's slightly confused expression. "You might want to go let your friends know you're alright before they start to worry."

With a soft 'thank you' and a grateful smile, Gary headed upstairs towards his bedroom. He was stopped halfway up the staircase by a rather concerned-looking Andrew.

"Gary, are you okay?" Andrew asked worriedly, taking in the tearstained face of his best friend.

Gary nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. Come on, let's go play some Iron Maiden!"

Andrew frowned in confusion as Gary made his way to the top of the staircase and hesitated to wait on him. "But I want to play some Journey…"

"Get over it, bitch."

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

This was a hard chapter to do until I got to Gary with Umbreon and Arcanine, then everything just flowed naturally. You know how pets help you through some rough times? Well, that's sort of what the doggies did for Gary and I'm really hoping it wasn't cheesy! Let me know what you guys think!

The Iron Maiden song that Gary mentions is Only the Good Die Young from the Seventh Son of a Seventh Son album. Déjà vu is also a Maiden song from their album Somewhere In Time.


	48. Chapter 48: Similarities

**Beyond The Walls**

This chapter takes place towards the end of the last one – sometime while Gary and May are either in the cemetery or in the living room.

Chapter 48: Similarities

"I think I might need to get a few more swords and posters, the walls don't look chaotic enough."

Tracey sat up from his position on Andrew's bed and stared at him. "I think you've got enough stuff, Andrew," he reassured him as the older boy continued to fret over the state of his new room.

Having lived in the same small house for so many years, Andrew felt strange to be in a new bedroom, especially since it meant trying to restore everything to the disastrous mess it had once been. This was particularly difficult since his new room was easily twice the size of the previous one. "Maybe," Andrew said as he hung another of the swords in his collection. "You think I picked a good room? Maybe I should have taken a smaller one…"

"Would you be able to annoy Gary as easily if you took a smaller one?"

Andrew grinned; there was more than one reason behind picking the room between Gary and Tracey's and annoying the former was one of them. "No, but I'd be able to annoy Chris and Shawn then."

Tracey sighed softly and laid back down against the brand new comforter that Andrew had picked up earlier that day since his old one was too small for the larger bed he had obtained in the move. It was black again, which didn't surprise him, but it was comfortable, even more so since Chelsea had sprayed coconut scented body spray on it to annoy Andrew. The old comforter was currently spread across the small red couch that he had insisted on bringing from the house in Pastoria. Andrew had surprised him with this room, for starters, the walls were a deep blue that seemed to clash with the general black color scheme that he seemed so obsessed with. He had picked out all new furniture, claiming that he wanted this room to be as different from the one in Pastoria as possible. Tracey had noticed that, no matter how hard the boy tried, he couldn't possibly make the room a mess – not with the tall bookshelf the now held his stereo, cds, and books; or with the entertainment unit that held his tv, video games, and dvds; or with the fair sized desk that held only his computer and the soda cans that remained from his usual caffeine binge. Andrew had spent all day working in his room while Tracey helped Ash get formally acquainted with the reserve and it was nice to lay back and relax while he watched his boyfriend set up his belongings.

Usually, Tracey would relax in his own room but the change of scenery was refreshing; his room was nice but a bit boring, as was Gary's and even May's, though to a lesser extent, while Andrew's was anything but boring. Despite how 'boring' Tracey's bedroom could be deemed, it couldn't be denied that the room was relaxing – far more than the corner of insanity that was Andrew's room. The walls were a medium blue, a color that reminded him of the ocean back home in the Orange Islands; the bed linens matched the walls closely but were a darker shade of blue. Being a rather immaterial person, he didn't much in the way of possessions (so thoroughly unlike his boyfriend) other than pictures of his friends, a few books, and a whole shelf full of sketchbooks. He pulled himself out of his thoughts as Andrew said something as he opened a new box.

"What?" Tracey asked sleepily as he sat up on the bed.

Andrew grinned at him as he pulled several notebooks out of the box he had just opened. "What, am I putting you to sleep over there?" he teased.

Tracey shook his head. "Long day in the lab," he explained as Andrew dropped the stack of notebooks on the bed and sat down facing him.

"Something happen?" Andrew asked as he began flipping through one of the books.

"Ash kind of outted me to the professor," Tracey replied after a moment of hesitation.

Andrew looked up suddenly with a frown on his face. "Really?"

"It wasn't intentional, he just said something that Professor Oak overheard. Ash has a big mouth and he doesn't really think before speaking, it's not really a big deal." Andrew simply nodded with a small smile that quickly faded as he returned his attention the notebook he was flipping through. Tracey moved across the bed to sit next to him. "What are you looking at?" Andrew held out the book so that Tracey could see it; he couldn't help but smile as he realized it was a sketch book. "I guess I have a thing for artistic guys," he said with a smile as he flipped through carefully shaded drawings. "You have a thing for dragons," Tracey observed after perhaps the fifth dragon drawing he had come across. They were all different in every way possible, except for the fact that they had dragons.

Andrew grinned and nodded. "Fantasy in general," he agreed. "My parents read me the Hobbit when I was little, so I guess you could say I was destined to become a nerd."

Tracey looked up at him with a small laugh. He didn't consider Andrew a nerd in the slightest; the boy was a bit too… odd for that term to fit him. He preferred to think of him as quirky, perhaps a bit eccentric. Sort of like that one strange cousin you never exactly knew what to think of; they were either really cool or really weird, depending on exactly what was going on.

"I guess that would explain all the swords."

Andrew laughed at that. "Yeah, especially since a good third of them are based off of ones from the Lord of the Rings movies. Everyone says I'm the biggest nerd on the group but I think Shawn takes that title – at least _I _can play an instrument."

Tracey continued put down the book and picked up another, smiling comfortably as Andrew scooted closer to him so that they could look at the drawings together. "I don't play any instruments," he said softly.

"Want to learn?"

"Not particularly. Music's not really my thing."

"Pity," Andrew said softly, pressing a small kiss against Tracey's cheek. "It'd be fun to teach you. I guess it's a good thing though; we won't be fighting over instruments like me and Gary always did."

"You mean, the way you still do?" Tracey asked, recalling several little squabbles the two had gotten in over the time Tracey had known Andrew.

He grinned. "Maybe. Speaking of Gary, have you seen him today? I know he was helping Ash today but I haven't seen him at all."

"He was outside with Umbreon and Arcanine when I last saw him."

"Oh. He'll be fine, he's been a lot better lately."

"I thought he's been more annoying lately."

Andrew laughed again. "Don't you just love his sarcasm?"

"Don't you start," Tracey complained.

"I keep forgetting that you've never really seen Gary like this. You really got to know him at the worst point in his life – I'm glad he's had Anna and May around because I'm sure he would've tried to… Never mind. We don't really need to discuss that," Andrew's voice trailed off a bit as he looked over some of the other books in the pile on the bed. He picked one up suddenly and handed it to Tracey. "I think you'll find this one a bit more interesting," he said as he gently tugged the other one out of Tracey's hands.

"Why is that?" Andrew flipped the book open and pointed to the words written on the inside of the cover. "Kanto, February through June, two-thousand-two?"

Andrew sighed softly and turned the page to reveal a sketch of two bellsprouts playing in a field. "You've got to keep going," he explained.

Tracey curiously turned the pages to reveal sketch after sketch of pokemon and couldn't help but notice that many were plant or bug types. "Is this from when you were a trainer?"

"Yep, almost seven years ago. I specialized in plant and bug types, in case you couldn't tell."

"That's surprising for a fantasy nerd like you," Tracey teased.

"I had some dragon types too – gyarados, kingra, flygon, charizard…"

"Charizard technically isn't a dragon type."

"It's more of a dragon than a kingdra is!"

Tracey smiled at the way Andrew seemed to pout as he replied. "Why did you specialize in bugs? I thought you were afraid of them."

"I'm afraid of _spiders_, not bug type pokemon – there's a difference, you know." At Andrew's mock-annoyed response, Tracey smiled again as he kept turning pages, pausing as he came across a long series of water pokemon sketches. "That was probably when I went to Cinnabar and Seafoam," Andrew explained when Tracey gave him a questioning glance. A small, almost shy grin spread across his face. "You could sort of say that I was a watcher, that's how I got into behavior."

Tracey glanced up at him again. "That explains all the sketches," he said softly before returning to the book in his hands.

He was starting to see that there was a very good chance at this relationship working. They had a lot in common when one looked past the obvious differences – music, Andrew's extroverted personality versus Tracey's calm and almost-shy personality… It seemed as though they had similarities where it really mattered: their main interests and passions. They could even relate to each other somewhat when it came to past experiences; they'd both left home because of family troubles and they both lead what could be termed alternative lifestyles. Tracey could honestly say that this was the first time he'd met someone so much like him and he was happy to call Andrew his boyfriend; he would've been happy to just be friends with him if they had never gotten involved sexually in the first place, but being romantically linked was a major perk.

"Oh!" Andrew suddenly exclaimed as Tracey turned to a page with a sketch of an eevee. "Wanna know who that is?"

"Who?"

"I'll give you a hint, she's probably down in the kitchen begging for food right now."

"Umbreon?"

"Yep, that's 'Bre." Tracey looked confused. "Remember I met Gary when we were both trainers in Kanto?" Tracey nodded slowly. "We actually met more than once; that was on Seafoam Island, we were both there for the gym."

"There's a gym on Seafoam?" Though Tracey had never traveled throughout the Kanto region as a pokemon trainer, he was fairly familiar with the major cities and locations, and even knew where the most famous gyms were, thanks to Ash.

"Yeah, not a lot of people know about it; it's tiny and damn hard to get a badge from – it was easier for me to get my Earth Badge than the badge from that gym leader. She was this really tough chick with no specialty, it made preparing for that battle a real bitch. We're off topic aren't we?"

Tracey nodded. "You and Gary?" he prompted.

"He was nicer that time we met, probably because he won the battle we had. It was four-on-four and he sent out eevee because he was getting her used to battle – there's a really long story behind that, you'd have to ask Gary because I don't know the details – and she was a tough little thing!" Tracey nodded in understanding as he recalled the first time he met Gary, they hadn't even been formally introduced that time after Ash had come home from the Orange Islands before departing for Johto. He remembered how easily that little eevee had beaten Pikachu and how impressed he had been. Surprisingly, Tracey had never thought to realize that the same eevee Gary had battled with was now the umbreon that received such special attention from everyone. "She took out my vileplume, which was really surprising, but then my lapras kind of turned her into a furry popsicle," Andrew chuckled awkwardly at his own words, as though he still felt bad for it. "Lapras took out Arcanine but got wiped out by Gary's alakazam. Alakazam took out my ekans but Meganium beat Alakazam and then Blastoise took out Meganium. Pretty tough battle."

"Sounds like it," Tracey agreed. He'd never been much for battling but he found that he enjoyed hearing Andrew talk about it; he thought it was kind of cute how Andrew would count the events off on his long fingers and glance up at the ceiling as he tried to remember events. He chuckled softly as he pictured the image in his head once more before setting down the sketch book as Andrew laid back on the bed.

"What's so funny?" Andrew asked lightly with his eyes closed.

"Nothing," Tracey replied as he stretched out on the bed next to him. "Just thinking of how cute you are."

"Cute's not very metal," Andrew muttered.

"Neither am I, so get over it."

Andrew smiled and wrapped his arms around Tracey's shoulders, dragging him closer against his body. "I think I can manage that."

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Well, I did so much about the differences between Gary and Andrew that I just had to do a chapter showing some of the things Tracey and Andrew have going for them. Besides, according to the poll on my profile (it's still up by the way), everyone seems to want to see more of Andrew and Tracey! Anyway, short chapter, mostly filler but I hope it was a nice little refreshment after the last two which were a bit on the serious side.

Also, I don't know if anyone noticed or not but I figured I would explain this in case anyone thought it was just random – when it comes to the names of pokemon, I capitalize them only when they're being used as proper nouns and not when they're just being used as normal nouns. Just thought I'd explain in case anyone was wondering.


	49. Chapter 49: New Developments

**Beyond The Walls**

I hoped to get this up sooner but school went straight to hell and I couldn't work on it for over a week. Since I've only got a little more than a month left of school, it might be hard for me to keep this story updated so often but I'll keep working on it when I can and once summer comes, I'll be able to most likely finish it up. : )

I'm also thrilled that the scene with Gary and his pokemon went over so well!

(By the way, the next chapter is already about a third of the way done so it should be up pretty quickly)

Chapter 49: New Developments

May sighed as she walked through the halls of the house. It was oddly quiet and she found herself rather bored with nothing to do. Her brother was busy outside with Ash, Andrew, and Chelsea; Tracey, Chris, and Shawn were busy with her grandfather in the lab; Michelle, Bella, and Kate were all at work; and she didn't even know where Anna was. It was already the middle of January, her twentieth birthday to be precise, and work on the major research project was set to begin within just a few days. As she made her way closer to her bedroom she could hear music playing in the room across from her own, peering in the doorway she found Anna sitting at her desk drawing something.

"Hey, bitch," May greeted quietly as she entered the room and sat down on the messy bed.

"What's up, whore?" Anna replied without looking up from her drawing.

May had to smile at the way Anna was so focused on the task at hand; she acted nearly the same way Gary did whenever he was focused on something. "It's interesting that you and Michelle insist on calling me that, all things considered."

Anna laughed softly. "Hey, I've only been with one guy since August –"

"A record for you and that's only because you're dating my brother."

"I wasn't dating him until Halloween," Anna replied. "You and Damien were getting along _pretty_ well in Pastoria, you could've definitely gotten somewhere with him," she teased.

"I'm not much for meaningless sex, I'll leave that for Michelle," May replied dryly as she lay on her stomach across the bright aqua bedspread that Anna had bought upon moving in.

"I notice Bella's not included on that little list of yours. Is she dating Chris yet?"

"They made it official yesterday; Andrew's been picking on Chris all day for it. Gary's been surprisingly quiet about it, you wouldn't happen to know the reasoning behind it would you?"

Anna laughed again as she turned in her desk chair to face her friend. "It's because Bella has ammunition against him."

May looked over at her in confusion. "What type of ammunition? It's not like Bella ever slept with him."

"Keep telling yourself that, it'll save your brother some embarrassment," Anna replied with a snicker.

"I don't even want to know."

"Aw, it's a funny story though!" May rolled her eyes at Anna's claim. "Everyone's hooking up except for you, girl – you'd better get a move on those boys before even Katie gets something going with Shawn or Ash."

"Somehow I can't see Gary being too thrilled about me dating one of his friends."

"Damien's like an older brother to him and Andrew, I doubt he'd care! _And_ he's Chris' best friend, it would be pretty cool for you and Bella to be dating those two."

"You're as persistent as Gary is once he gets an idea in his head – you two should just get married and get it over with!"

Anna was about to respond when Andrew appeared in the doorway with his hair dripping water down the back of his t-shirt. "Are you guys already done with training?" She asked, taking in Andrew's appearance. He must have just gotten out of the shower only minutes prior.

"Yeah, we've been done for awhile now. Professor Oak asked me to get you, May; first puppy's probably already born by now." May squealed and bounced up from the bed, pushing past Andrew and racing down the hallway and leaving Anna and Andrew to laugh at her excitement. "I take it she likes puppies," Andrew said in an amused tone. Anna only nodded in response and returned to her drawing as he turned and followed May down the hallway.

--- --- ---

Everyone in the lab was busy except for Gary; even Ash had something to do and Gary wondered if his grandfather had purposely forgotten to give him something to do. The growlithe puppies had been born without any sort of problem though the mother seemed to want nothing to do with them; Tracey had informed him that this was normal for the female arcanine in question. Being several times domesticated and having delivered her first litter before reaching proper adulthood had left the female with no apparent idea of how to handle her litter. Tracey, Ash, Shawn, and Gary's three roommates from Pastoria each had a puppy that they were currently keeping warm while May checked over the mother and Professor Oak prepared the formula for the puppies. Gary leaned against the lab bench behind the desk that Andrew was sitting at and watched him gently stroke the little pup with a grin.

"What's the matter, Gary? Not special enough to have a puppy of your own?" Andrew teased without looking over at his friend.

"Shut up," Gary muttered, watching as his Arcanine went from person to person, sniffing and looking at each of the pups.

Gary knew that Andrew's lack of reply was because the boy was too distracted by the little ball of fluff in his lap to argue but the truth was that Andrew's offhand comment had hit fairly close to home. He was certain that he was simply looking too deeply into it, but his grandfather had hardly spoken to him throughout the day… Gary wasn't particularly worried about it; he didn't know how to handle a newborn puppy in the first place and his grandfather knew that.

Arcanine wandered over to his trainer and began nudging his hand and whining softly for attention until Gary knelt down to scratch the dog's ears. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tracey talking to his grandfather, their conversation highlighted by several glances his way before Tracey handed the tiniest puppy out of the litter to the professor. Somewhat detached from what was going on around him, Gary briefly wondered what the short conversation had been about, why they stole glances at him as they spoke. He refused to let it bother him as he absently pet his pokemon.

It was several minutes before Gary heard his grandfather call his name; looking up, he saw the professor gesture for him to come over. Wondering what he wanted, Gary gave Arcanine one last pat on the head before standing and heading over with the large striped canine following him closely. Professor Oak smiled as Gary leaned against the counter in front of him, the smile widened as Arcanine joined them; the dog had always been particularly attached to his trainer.

"You know, we may just have to neuter you since your girlfriend doesn't like to take care of her children, Arcanine," Professor Oak said jokingly, patting him on the head. Arcanine shot Gary a look that was akin to fear and the professor laughed softly. "He doesn't seem too thrilled with that idea," he said to his grandson.

"Well, how would you feel if someone cut your testicles off?" Gary responded flatly, patting his pokemon on the head in a reassuring manner.

"Not as angry as you would be in the same situation, I would imagine."

"That's because I actually want kids one day," Gary replied softly.

"Then here's your chance," the professor said, holding out the small puppy to his grandson, who eyed the animal warily.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you taking care of this little one. He's smaller than the others so he'll need more attention." He shook his head with a smile as Gary only responded with a confused expression. "Give me your hands." Gary obeyed and Professor Oak passed him the towel-wrapped runt.

"But I don't –"

"Then learn, Gary; it's not that hard to do." He gestured to the six bottles of formula that were now sitting on the counter. "They need to feed soon, I think you can manage that part on your own," he said before turning and heading over to help May with something.

Still a bit startled and slightly confused by what had just happened, Gary couldn't help but smile at the way the little puppy snuggled against his sweatshirt. He had to admit it was cute but then again puppies had always been his weakness, along with Oreos and feisty girls who listened to heavy metal.

So his grandfather thought he was the best one to care for the runt? Gary supposed it couldn't be all _that_ hard; even so, this little guy curled in his arms was much smaller than Umbreon ever had been as an eevee in his care. Umbreon had been barely six months old when he got her – half the size of a full-grown eevee but ten times as vicious, she had been abused, neglected, and injured by the time his grandfather rescued her from a malevolent trainer. Knowing his grandson's fondness for canines, Professor Oak had eagerly offered the eleven-year-old a chance to raise the little fox-like creature. Not one to turn down a challenge, Gary had agreed to try his hand at taming the biting, snarling ball of fur that had become his most loyal pokemon.

He had taken on that significant challenge and had conquered it, albeit with months of hard work, so why not take this one that his grandfather had thrown his way? There had to be a specific reason behind the professor's decision to ask him to take care of the pup, but for the life of him, Gary had no idea what it could possibly be.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Two notes for this update.

One – sorry for such a short chapter but, unfortunately, school comes first! The next few chapters might be short as well but they'll cover more time. And, yes, the puppy has a purpose other than being a cute addition!

And two – I'm most likely going to rewrite _Changes_ because, quite frankly, I think it sucks. I'm going to take it out of first person and try to make it a bit easier to read. I don't know when exactly that will happen since I'm now in the final third of the semester and things are getting hectic!

Snailsgomoo – I'm glad you liked the update and I'm really glad you feel that way about Gary and Andrew/Tracey. Gary's actually pretty fun to write when he's not all depressed because he's so sarcastic. As far as Andrew and Tracey go; I love that little 'ship I created, especially the major contrast between their personalities. Thanks for the pointer on Gyarados – I forgot about that! As far as being able to do large updates like that; I write constantly throughout the week when I'm not busy with school work and, once I get an idea, I can do an entire chapter in one night. I just love writing and I can't stand leaving a writing project unfinished so once I start, there's no stopping 'til it's done! Lol.

Arch-trainer – I'm sorry to hear you've been so busy with school! Hang in there! Thanks as always. I'm glad you liked the part with Gary's interactions with the pokemon, hopefully we'll see some more of that soon. : ) I'm also glad you liked the rules for gym leaders; with the badges being such a big part of training, I can't see the gym leaders just being handed a gym.

Thanks to everyone else that reviewed.


	50. Chapter 50: Passing Time

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 50: Passing Time

Anna made her way through the mansion's first floor, passing Kate, May, and Shawn conversing in the sun room and Chris and Bella avidly discussing something in the sitting room as she made her way to the stairwell. She smiled as she passed Tracey's bedroom and saw the boy hanging out on his bed with Michelle and Andrew. She could faintly hear the sounds of a bass guitar drifting through the halls from the music room, signifying Chelsea's presence. Her smile was warm and content as she glanced down at the squirming growlithe puppy that was securely held against her chest. The pups were nearly three weeks old and had grown much larger in their short lives. They spent most of their time in the lab with their mother, who did little more than allow them to snuggle against her, and their father, who seemed to take on the maternal role of keeping them in line – much to the amusement of everyone in the lab. The little growlithes were taken away from the adult arcanines only for their daily physicals, frequent feedings, and short periods of playtime. Five of the teenagers in the lab rotated with the puppies, taking care of a different one each day while May took constant care of the mother and Tracey oversaw the physicals with Professor Oak.

Gary, on the other hand, his sole responsibility was the little runt that was currently in Anna's arms. The little one had seemed to grow attached to her and Gary sometime during the second week and was showing more personality than his five littermates by getting into all sorts of trouble. It seemed as though he was constantly wandering away from the rest of the litter, only to be picked up and brought back by Gary's ever watchful arcanine.

She grinned as she stepped into her bedroom and gently kicked the door closed behind her, being careful not to startle the pup in her arms or awaken the other occupant in the room. Gary was curled up on her bed, listening to his headphones and apparently asleep after a long day of training with Ash and helping Chris with a project in the lab. Anna placed the growlithe on the bed and laughed softly at the way it wobbled on the bedspread; she let him explore the brightly colored comforter for a few minutes as she turned her attention to her boyfriend. Every day, Monday through Friday, had been the same for Gary over the past three weeks or so. He and Chelsea both got up early and would run to Ash's house to drag him out with them – the trainer had hated this at first but grew used to it after a week and was slowly being able to run further in the freezing mornings. They would eat breakfast, change into lab-appropriate clothes, and then work in the lab all morning before eating lunch and heading outside with Andrew to spend the rest of the day training. Andrew and Chelsea had both transferred all of their pokemon transferred to the lab and Anna had to admit that she had been impressed by their collections, if not even a bit envious. Part of her almost wished she had been a trainer at some point in time.

And in between training, working, and off time, the puppies needed constant attention. The end result of each day was a physically exhausted Gary; he'd spend a few hours hanging out with the girls and Shawn or in the music room before finally succumbing to exhaustion and heading off to bed just to repeat it again the next day. Anna ended up with little free time to be alone with him. Sure, she hung out in the lab when they weren't busy and she spent some time watching the four teenagers train, especially when Michelle was over, but she hardly got to spend those precious hours hanging out in the den or watching movies with Gary. It was a bit depressing, especially at first, and she had taken to spending a lot of time at her mother's house, sometimes spending short amounts of time with her sister as the two slowly warmed up to each other once more. She reunited with old friends from high school that she hadn't seen in a long while, caught up on reading books that she had purchased and allowed to do nothing more than collect dust, practiced bass and guitar, drew, and then studied for her GED. It was perhaps just as exhausting for her as it was for Gary.

But that wasn't to say it was a bad thing.

In all honesty, it was a good thing. Despite their exhaustion, they were strangely happy. Anna could see that it was a bit difficult for Gary to physically get back into training; though he hadn't lost his touch, there were times when he had to stop and think or he would call out the wrong command. Yet, he seemed happier than she had seen him in a long while; he was as sarcastic as ever and was constantly bickering with Andrew and Ash or annoying his sister in any way possible. She was certain that a large amount of this new cheerfulness was due to working with his friends and pokemon, but she was positive that at least some of it had to do with the little puppy that was currently sniffing at his Zune with interest. Anna quickly pulled him away before he could bite the music player. There was no mystery in why Professor Oak had chosen Gary to take care of the runt – aside from being responsible and good with the animals, he loved them.

As far as Anna went, just seeing Gary being happy was enough to make her content. The fact that she was getting things done and being social with someone other than Gary or the girls made her even more content. Either way, things were looking up.

She watched the puppy poke around at the blanket and decided that he'd had enough time to explore. "Come on, Loki," she muttered as she scooped him up and picked up the bottle she had brought with her.

"I still can't believe you and Andrew named him that," Gary murmured sleepily, lifting his head enough to watch her.

"Didn't mean to wake you, babe," Anna said calmly, barely sparing him a glance as Loki the growlithe pup suckled hungrily at the bottle in her hand.

"I wasn't sleeping," he replied quietly, though Anna was sure it was a lie. It had to be a lie with how often Gary was sleeping lately.

Anna turned her gaze downwards to watch Loki for a few moments as he fed, feeling Gary's gaze on her the whole time. Once finished with the feeding process, she glanced back at Gary and unplugged his headphones from the music player. "What?"

Gary shrugged slightly as he pulled off his headphones. "Nothing."

She frowned in response for a moment before deciding not to push the issue. Her frown turned to a small smile as she picked up Loki and held him out to Gary. "Say goodnight to your baby," she said teasingly.

Gary returned the smile and patted the pup on the head. "'Night, furball." He glanced back up at Anna and watched as she stood and left the room with Loki cuddling against her chest. He couldn't help but grin as he replayed the scene of Anna feeding Loki with that peaceful smile on her face in his mind. Something about that smile of hers seemed to send chills throughout his entire body; it unnerved him because, despite the chill that went down his spine, he felt a warm feeling spread through him.

It seemed as though it was all finally hitting him now – he and Anna had an open and loving relationship, a serious one, not what it had been so many months before; he and Ash were good friends once more, he was once more living with his close friends, and on top of that all, he was training pokemon again. That last part was something he had never anticipated doing again in his life. His heart hadn't been in training for many months before heading off to Sayda Island as a fourteen year old and though he worked off and on with Umbreon and several other pokemon of his while there, he hadn't considered himself a trainer. Part of him had always wondered if that loss in the Indigo League tournament had somehow traumatized him into having no desire to train. He had decided on his own to help Ash train but Chelsea and Andrew's sudden interference had forced him to jump into things without entirely mulling them over. Anna's reassurances along with the fact that he had promised to do it were the only things that initially kept him going with the training. Now though…

Now he was starting to enjoy it again. He was starting to feel the rush that came from a fierce battle against the tough opponent that Ash, Andrew, and Chelsea often provided. He was now able to overlook losses and see his victories with modesty, something which had thoroughly startled and confused Ash and Andrew, not to mention the girls that had traveled with him, and something that Umbreon had yet to learn. Every time the dark creature lost a battle she would growl at whoever the winning trainer had been before stalking off to either the lab for healing or to the wooded area of the reserve where the pack of houndoom and houndour resided. Her behavior had been worrisome at first but Gary had learned to just pass it off as stubbornness that she had picked up from her trainer in his younger and more arrogant years.

He felt more content than he had in a long while and seeing Anna content as well on amplified it; he knew their individual happiness was affecting each other the same way and had to wonder if she got that same warm feeling whenever she saw him smile lately. His thoughts drifted and he could feel himself beginning to dwell on that feeling that Anna had been giving him lately…

Gary sighed after a few moments of thought before relaxing against the pillows of the bed once more. "It's called being in love, you idiot, stop thinking about it," he muttered to himself. He could hear Anna's footsteps making their way back down the hall towards the room as he placed his music player on the nightstand, intent on spending some _quality_ time with his girlfriend before they succumbed to exhausted slumber.

--- --- ---

"Andrew!"

"What?! Okay, you know what, Chelsea? It's called a specialty – it's not my fault that you happened to choose a specialty that's weak against mine! So chill the _fuck_ out!"

"You could've chosen a pokemon other than vileplume!"

"Yeah, well –"

"Hey! Enough already!" Gary interrupted the blooming argument loudly as Ash shook his head. "You know Andrew's specialty is grass so why do you insist on using water, Chels?"

Chelsea turned on her other friend, intent on arguing with him as well when the back door to the lab opened and Chris stepped outside. "Alright guys, here's the deal. My thesis is on the makeup of snake pokemon venom; I have to milk a bunch of arbok and seviper this afternoon and I can't safely do that when you're all screaming at each other loud enough to hear in the lab! You know the animals pick up on these things. If you can't go one training session without going for the jugular, then maybe you shouldn't be training in the first place."

Chelsea and Andrew glared at each other as the door closed sharply, leaving Ash and Gary to wonder whether allowing the two argumentative teens to train with them had been a good idea.

"I thought you were helping Chris with that for your behavior study, Andrew," Gary said quietly, hoping not to rouse another argument out of his best friend before the end of the days' training.

"It's only part of my study…" Andrew muttered under his breath, turning away from Chelsea's angry glare to pat his pokemon's head. Gary frowned at him, knowing that Andrew was supposed to be working on a particularly large report having something to do with laboratory animals for one of his behavior classes. He was putting it off despite knowing how much he would regret that later on. Of course, the reason he was putting it off had something to do with the nasty arbok bite he had gotten a few days prior.

"Aren't you supposed to be in there too, Chels? In case someone gets bit?"

"Yeah, that way someone who isn't afraid of needles can give me the antivenin when I get bit," Andrew interjected with a glance at Gary, who grinned in response.

"I could've just let you suffer, you know. And it's not my fault Grandpa insisted on me learning how to do it!"

Chelsea giggled at Gary's honest reply, remembering exactly what had happened when Andrew got bit only three days earlier. May and Chelsea had been out on the reserve tending to a sick ponyta with Tracey when it had happened, leaving Professor Oak as the only person with experience in handling a problem such as that. Being ever the encouraging grandfather and mentor, he had positively insisted on teaching Gary the methodology and had even resorted to playfully teasing his grandson for his nervousness.

The door opened once more and the four teens glanced up as Shawn poked his head out. "I don't do snakes, guys; get in here!"

Both Andrew and Chelsea groaned in response as they recalled their vileplume and starmie before grudgingly heading back towards the lab, leaving Gary and Ash alone to finish the training for the day. Gary shrugged as they went left, pulling a pokeball off of his belt and tossing it in the air while he watched Ash's eyes follow Chelsea inside.

"You don't stand a chance with her."

Ash blinked and turned back to Gary, startled out of his thoughts. "Hey – I… What do you mean?" he spluttered, flushing suddenly.

"I know her better than you do, Ash; she doesn't like relationships and she only goes for guys with at least some experience with sex," Gary explained smugly. "_And_ you would come in less than a minute and I would get stuck with listening to her whine about not being able to finish and not having any other guy to play with because they're all taken... Unless Anna decides to be nice… or kinky. Either one works, I guess," he mused quietly, fighting down a laugh as Ash visibly struggled for a response.

"Wha - I – You're sick, you know that!"

Gary couldn't hold back his laughter any more. "And you're a virgin," he replied smoothly.

"Yeah, but at least I'm not a whore!"

"Oooh, he bites back - how incredibly adorable!" Ash glared at Gary's reply, ready to head back to the lab and forget about training for the day when Gary dropped the teasing and tossed out the pokeball he was holding, releasing a golduck ready for battle. "Come on, we've got work to do."

Ash grinned picked his own pokeball off of his belt; he paused before releasing the pokemon. "One would almost think you're more eager to become a trainer again than work in the lab, Gary; whatever happened to becoming a researcher?"

"If I go inside then I have to help Chris, listen to Andrew and Chelsea argue, and be driven completely and utterly insane. I'd rather beat your pathetic ass in a battle than do that." Gary glanced over his shoulder at Ash with a teasing smile as he led the other boy away from the lab.

"You haven't beaten me in a battle in over a week!"

"Doesn't mean anything; what's your point?"

Ash sighed as he followed him across the fields to an area where the melting snow wasn't quite so deep. He just wasn't sure how to handle Gary's new behavior; part of him almost longed for that old obnoxious rival from childhood – at least he knew how to handle that version of Gary. This calm and somewhat modest Gary was confusing him entirely.

--- --- ---

Tracey awoke suddenly as he felt something cold trailing along his face. He opened his eyes and found himself looking up at a wagging growlithe that began excitedly licking his face when he smiled and scratched the four-week-old puppy's ears.

"Good morning," he greeted happy pup cheerfully, the morning grogginess still lacing his voice as he stretched.

"So you can say 'good morning' to the dog but not to me?" Tracey glanced up to see Andrew walk into the room with the largest puppy of the litter following him. "We've been dating for over a month now, don't you care about me?" Andrew asked in a sad tone as he pouted playfully. Tracey laughed softly as he took in the sight of his boyfriend leaning against the doorjamb; the bright morning sun made Andrew's hair shine in a way that Tracey couldn't help but adore, picking out the pale highlights that had developed naturally in the past month of training outside everyday for hours on end. He was dressed in his typical jeans with a Finntroll shirt and it was somewhat surprising to see the boy up so early – usually he had to be woken up by either Gary or Tracey after they had been up for an hour or so.

"Care about you? Why would I do that?" Tracey teased as he watched Andrew shake his head with a smile and cross the bedroom.

Andrew leaned down and pressed a small kiss against his boyfriend's cheek, sitting on the edge of the bed and patting the covers for the other growlithe to join them. "I take it you slept well after that rum last night," he inferred smugly, recounting the fun night they'd had with Gary, Anna, Michelle, and Chelsea. He smiled as Tracey groaned softly.

"Gary didn't drink again last night."

"That's because he doesn't like rum... Hey, Thor," he greeted softly as the puppy who woke Tracey climbed into his lap.

"Why do you call him that?" Tracey asked, confused by the name Andrew had given the pup that had become so attached to Tracey in the past couple of weeks.

Andrew smiled again as he picked up Thor and began petting him. "See this stripe on his leg; the way it's misshapen? It looks like Thor's hammer."

"It looks more like a blob," Tracey replied, standing up and walking over to his closet to find clothes for the day.

"It's not a blob! Anna confirmed it – it's totally Thor's hammer! Hence the furball's name," Andrew exclaimed in exasperation. No one seemed to appreciate the names that he and Anna had been giving the puppies – Gary complained nonstop about Loki's name now that the pup had started responding only to 'Loki' and 'Furball'. "I've still got to figure out what to name Alpha here," he continued, gesturing to the puppy that had followed him in. He had nicknamed the pup that had taken to him 'Alpha' due to his large size and the way he seemed to look after his littermates as much as their father did. He didn't think it was fitting though, he wanted a better name for the dominant puppy.

In his closet, Tracey rolled his eyes as he tugged on a clean shirt and searched through his dresser for clean underwear. "Why not just name him 'Odin' and get it over with?" he asked sarcastically. Although he couldn't see Andrew from where he was, he was sure the boy's ears had perked up at the suggestion.

"You're a genius!" Andrew cried after a moment.

"Great," Tracey muttered under his breath. "Another reason for Gary to whine." He left the closet and rejoined Andrew on the bed, scooping Thor out of Andrew's lap and kissing him on the nose. "It's Valentine's Day, you know," he reminded Andrew.

"Yay," Andrew replied sarcastically. "We can watch Chris and Bella be all cutesy with each other while Gary and Anna have sex every time someone turns their back on them."

Tracey smiled as he saw a smaller puppy wander into the room, obviously looking for trouble until Umbreon appeared, picked him up by the scruff of his neck with her teeth, and left the room. "What do you have against Valentine's Day?"

Andrew scowled as he reached up and began smoothing his hair in his hands; Tracey wondered as to the reason behind Andrew's nervous habit. "It's my birthday," he explained dryly.

Tracey glanced over at him in surprise; whatever answer he was expecting was a far cry from this. "And this is a problem, how? Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday? Now I feel bad…"

"I don't celebrate my birthday… All of my friends know that. They don't know why but that's beside the point…"

Tracey frowned and wondered what the reason was but didn't push the matter; he knew Andrew would tell him when he felt like it, if he ever felt like it. He was determined to have a good Valentine's Day and very little would stand in his way. This little revelation of Andrew's gave him a determination to make this a good birthday as well.

"Alright, boys, it's time to your asses out of this bedroom," a voice said from the doorway. "Especially if you want to do anything before the party tonight." The two boys looked up to see Michelle standing in the doorway with her arms casually crossed over her form-fitting red sweater.

"Party?" Andrew echoed, sounding interested.

"May and the girls have a party for every holiday," Tracey explained. "And Michelle's right, if we want to do anything by ourselves today we'll have to get out of here before May and Bella talk us into helping them decorate."

"Let me know whenever you want to go," he replied as he stood and left the room, heading in the direction of the music room as the puppy now named Odin leapt off of the bed to follow him.

Michelle waited until Andrew was out of earshot before shooting her friend a mischievous grin. "Got any special plans for tonight?"

Tracey shook his head. "When is everyone coming over?"

"Not 'til around eight. Why; want some _alone_ time with Andrew?"

"No, it's not that. It's Andrew's birthday and I didn't know –"

"Some boyfriend you are," Michelle teased.

"It's not my fault he didn't tell me!"

"I was just teasing you. Guys seem to not like celebrating their birthdays for some reason, I don't get it. Are you trying to make a last minute plan or something?" Tracey nodded. "Alrighty then, let's think… It's already noon, Kate and Bella will be over soon; I think May and Bella are cooking dinner so why don't we just have them do that early that way we can have cake? We can go pick up an ice cream cake… Ah, but then Gary'll throw up… Eh, forget Gary, he wouldn't get sick if he took his medicine for that in the first place."

Tracey laughed at her offhand comment and stood up from the bed to place Thor on the floor. "I take it you'll insist on a chocolate cake?" he asked, knowing that his close friend was a complete chocoholic.

"Of course! You know me so well, babe; if you weren't gay, I might just marry you," she joked.

Tracey laughed again as he pulled on his sneakers; he knew that Michelle's promiscuity had almost rivaled Anna's before Gary had moved home. "Shall we go then, my wife?" he asked, offering her his hand, which she took with a small laugh.

"Sure thing, my beloved."

--- --- ---

"Why are we going up to the attic?"

"Your eyes are supposed to be closed, Anna!"

"They _are_; there are only so many staircases in your house, I'm not stupid."

Gary chuckled softly as he pushed open the door at the top of the stairs. "Never said you were," he replied as he led her into the attic by the hand. "Keep your eyes closed," he whispered, letting his hands ghost over her shoulders as he pressed a small kiss against her temple.

"Whatever it is up here, there better be no spiders," Anna warned.

"Don't worry, I relocated them all to Andrew's room when I set this up." Gary carefully led Anna around the many items on the floor, making his way towards the bed that had been relocated from one of the guest bedrooms. It had been placed in front of one of the windows on the third floor, near the large piano that was now in the center of the room. He sat down on the pale quilt covering the bed and pulled Anna down next to him. "You can open your eyes now."

She opened them and peered around the room at the candles that had been placed on the surrounding pieces of furniture. "Closet romantic, Gary?" she teased with a smile.

"And you aren't?"

"Why did you set all of this up? We could have just stayed in your room."

"I just wanted to do something nice with you for a change and we won't be bothered up here… You like it, right?"

Anna smiled at the uncharacteristic uncertainty. "Yeah, it's just different. Romantic for us is usually just slower sex or you letting me play lead when we play guitar. It's nice though."

Gary smirked slightly. "Well, I figured I should keep it simple. I thought of going all out and putting rose petals on the bed and having champagne." By now Anna was laughing, recognizing that slight lightness in his tone that meant he was being sarcastic. "But I figured I wasn't proposing or anything and the petals would get annoying if we end up having sex," he finished with a grin.

Anna shook her head slightly; of course any conversation between them seemed to refer to sex at least once. "You're such a nerd."

Gary responded only by kissing her gently on the lips. In truth, the reason behind this setup had absolutely nothing to do with sex; he'd simply wanted time alone with her without being interrupted by anyone. Having grown used to having nothing to do other than hang out with her all day for the past few months, it disappointed him sorely to have so little time to spend with her lately. Spending the nights with her and waking up to see her curled next to him helped somewhat but part of him would be thrilled when he was done with helping Ash train so that he could spend more time her.

They kissed unhurriedly for several long minutes, their hands trailing languidly over each other's bodies until they finally pulled away with Gary's hands resting lightly on Anna's hips and her hands resting at the back of his neck. Anna sighed and leaned against his chest, reveling in the light feeling the kisses gave her. Smiling as his hands smoothed her hair, Gary relaxed against her body, simply appreciating the way her body melded against his. The minutes passed slowly as they lay together, barely hearing the loud music that floated up through the floors as Kate helped May and Bella decorate the first floor for their party.

"I got you something for Valentine's Day," Gary finally spoke lazily.

"I thought we'd agreed on no presents?"

"You know I agreed only to make you shut up," he replied, remembering the near argument that had resulted because Anna didn't want any gifts. He was never exactly one for doing as he was told though and he had still gotten her something. Anna opened her mouth to argue but Gary quickly cut her off with another kiss as he pulled a small thin box out from underneath one of the pillows on the bed.

Gary noticed the small smile that crossed Anna's face. "Another necklace?"

"Not this time, babe."

Anna's small smile turned to a slight frown as she took the box from him; part of her had been hoping that he'd picked up the necklace she had seen in the mall with a dragon perched atop a pentagram. She opened the box and lifted out a silver charm bracelet, the smile returning to her face as she eyed the small music notes hanging from the delicate chain. "This is really pretty," she said quietly, holding it out for Gary to fasten it around her wrist.

"I thought you'd like it," Gary replied, letting his hands linger on her wrist after he fastened the clasp. Smiling slightly, he raised her hand to his lips and placed a small kiss against her pale skin. After a few seconds he noticed something that struck him as odd; the small ruby ring that he had given her on Halloween was on the hand he was holding. He had fastened the bracelet on her left wrist. "You moved your ring," he said quietly.

Anna's eyes flicked downward at her hands. "Yeah," she confirmed.

"Why?" Gary distinctly remembered her always wearing it on her right hand.

Anna shrugged slightly and distractedly played with a lock of her hair. "I just felt like it," she replied softly.

"But what are you going to do when I propose to you? This is where the engagement ring is supposed to go." Gary ran his fingers lightly over the ring, not noticing the surprised expression that passed briefly over Anna's face.

"Propose? You're getting daring, Gary; just two months ago you couldn't even tell me that you loved me, now we're talking about engagement rings?" she teased.

It was Gary's turn to shrug. "I've changed a bit since then," he reminded her.

"I've noticed. I'll move the ring if you want, if it's that big of a deal."

"It's fine," Gary said, shaking his head slightly. "It just surprised me a bit…"

Anna leaned forward and kissed him. "So, about you proposing?"

Gary laughed softly. "Well, you already know that I love you –" A shrill shriek from the floor below them interrupted him and he grinned.

"I thought you were joking about the spiders!"

"I was… for the most part…"

"Gary!"

"Don't worry about it, Tracey can kill it for him."

Anna sighed and shook her head. There were times she just couldn't figure out was going through Gary's head. Part of her wanted to press the issue she had brought up – after all, Gary _had_ mentioned it twice on his own, there had to be a reason behind it.

--- --- ---

"And where have you love birds been all day? We could have used your help, Gary!"

"Nice to see you too, Bella," Gary replied dryly as he entered the living room with Anna close behind him. "Where's May?"

"Kitchen," Chris replied without looking up from the television as he and Bella watched a movie with Kate and Michelle.

Gary sighed and left the room; he and Anna had spent a few hours together in the attic throughout the early afternoon, simply talking and occasionally kissing. The conversations had ranged from the steamy dream she's had the night before that involved something between himself and Andrew to the puppies and had left them laughing softly as they lay together against the soft pillows. At one point the conversation had wandered to their future and, despite the nervousness he could feel in his gut, he felt an odd sort of excitement, as though the future couldn't come fast enough.

He wandered through the halls towards the kitchen where the radio was playing softly. May was standing at the counter chopping vegetables for dinner with her back to him and didn't even look up when he greeted her.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" May snapped at him.

Gary frowned, his sister was never snippy like this, especially not towards him. "I'll admit it was a stupid question, but do you really need to bite my head off for it? Conversation starter, May," he replied as he shrugged off the remark and strode across the room. He noticed that she looked tense, also a rarity, particularly before a party – she enjoyed being a hostess, there was just something in her friendly personality that made her love cooking, conversing, and being around people in general. "Are you alright?"

"Perfectly fine," May replied in the same irritated tone as before. Gary's frown deepened as she muttered something under her breath and seemed to chop the vegetables more enthusiastically than a moment before.

"Are you sure?"

May set the knife down harshly with a sudden clang that made her brother jump slightly as he pulled a drink from the refrigerator and whirled to face him. "I said I'm fine, so therefore I _am_ fine!" she exclaimed. Her voice had a certain tight edge to it that told Gary something was bothering her. "Not that it's any of your business," she muttered under her breath before turning back to the counter and continuing to mutter furiously.

Gary stood next to the fridge feeling utterly confused, more so as he caught small fragments of her verbal brooding. Something he surmised to be about Bella and Chris as well as himself and Anna. He walked across the room to stand next to her, watching her as she resumed her irate vegetable chopping. "May, what's wrong?"

"I said nothing!" she exclaimed, furiously shrugging off the hand that her brother placed on her shoulder.

"That's obviously not true," Gary replied, his eyes flickering away from her as Umbreon wandered into the room with Loki and one of the other puppies following her.

He fought back a small smile, knowing that his dark pokemon had been attracted by the smell of food and the sound of the blade slicing through the vegetable and striking the cutting board. Loki had followed her out of curiosity, something the little pup seemed to do nonstop. The reddish fur of the similarly sized pup following him differentiated her as the little one that May took care of most often – she was a sweet little thing that seemed to love grooming her littermates as much as giving every human that came in contact with her excessive kisses. Anna had suggested naming her Freya, keeping with the Nordic theme of Loki, Thor, and the one Andrew had named Odin just this morning. The name of this female pup was still being heavily debated though Gary thought it was surprisingly fitting for this particular pup. Umbreon headed straight over to where Gary and May were standing, sitting behind them and eagerly awaiting any falling food while Loki wandered over to the open pantry and began sniffing around while Freya sat in front of the back door, staring out at the porch where Chelsea and Shawn were visiting with Ash.

"Just mind your own damn business, Gary."

"Make me," Gary began in a teasing voice, hoping to lighten her apparently foul mood.

This was obviously the wrong thing to say, judging by the way May threw down the knife and turned back to him. "Make you?" she asked, suddenly shoving Gary in the chest hard enough to make him stagger back against the counter. "How special do you think you are, Gary? You spoiled little brat – all I'm doing is making dinner for everyone and you come in here as if you own the damn place –"

"All I did was ask what was bothering you!"

"You could have helped out but no! You had to spend your whole afternoon upstairs screwing around with your girlfriend –"

"For your information, we haven't even had sex in the past two days, so don't go throwing that in my face," Gary snapped back.

May scoffed and threw her hands in the air. "Oh, of course! That's such a tragedy for you, isn't it?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" By this time Gary was thoroughly confused and a bit annoyed by the way his sister was jumping to conclusions for reason beyond his comprehension.

"Nothing!"

"Yeah, right; you're just screaming at me because you have to prepare the party that _you_ wanted to have while I spent some time with my girlfriend. It _is _Valentine's Day you know; God forbid I want to do something nice for Anna. Loki, get out of there!" At the sound of his stern voice, the pup in question trotted out of the pantry with a plastic cup clenched between his teeth. Gary sighed and walked over to wrestle it out of his grasp, forcing down a small laugh as Loki leapt at it, mistaking Gary's actions for playing while May went back to muttering under her breath once more.

"No one can do _anything_ to help out today because they all want to go out and get laid or make out with each other…"

"You're just being paranoid."

"Shut up, Gary! And, Umbreon, _move_!"

"Don't yell at her! She's only in here because you always give her food in the first place!"

"Which is your own fault!"

"How? For god sake, May – pop a _fucking_ Midol! You're acting like a complete bitch for absolutely no reason!"

May opened her mouth to yell back at him when Anna and Bella appeared in the doorway. "_What_ is going on in here?" Bella asked, her dark brown eyes flickering back and forth between the two siblings.

"Nothing; Gary's just being his usual _charming_ self."

"What the hell is wrong with you today, May?" Anna cut him off before he go any further.

"Alex is on the phone, Gary," she informed him simply as she walked across the room to pick up Freya, who had started to cower at the back door, scared by the raised voices.

Gary immediately felt guilty and scooped up Loki before making his way over to Anna and stroking Freya's head comfortingly. He glanced over at Umbreon, who was sitting on the rug in front of the sink in a haughty stance with an annoyed expression in her red eyes. Leaving Anna with a small kiss on the cheek, Gary left the room with Umbreon jumping up to follow him after sending May a glare.

He headed towards the living room and sat down in front of the phone, taking a deep breath and forcing himself to calm down before picking up the receiver. "Hey, Alex," he greeted with a forced smile, his conversation with May still running through his head.

"Hey, wow – you can tell you've been training. You look good," Alex observed, glancing him over.

Gary grinned with a small laugh. He knew that the training had been doing him good; he was no longer ghostly pale though his hair had visibly lightened a shade or so, leaving it with a slightly more red tone to it. "Yeah, and I didn't turn to dust when I first went out in the sun either," he replied lightly.

"Really? That's a shame; I guess we'll have to resort to the old stake through the heart technique to get rid of you."

"Pass," Gary replied dryly. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing major. Just had some news to pass on to you."

"News?" Gary echoed, placing Loki on the floor by his feet and wondering exactly what to make of Alex's words.

"Yep, good news too. Guess who's engaged now."

Gary could feel his grin falter; judging by May's behavior, this wouldn't exactly be the most welcome news ever. "That's… that's great, Alex," he replied quietly.

"That's it? Come on, Gary – you and Damien have been on my case about this for how long? Not to mention Chris and May! What gives?"

Gary sighed and ran a hand through his hair distractedly. "Sorry, Alex… It's just that I kind of got in an argument with May a few minutes ago and I'm under the impression that she won't exactly be entirely thrilled about that."

Alex frowned at this news. "Argument? You two never argue though! What happened?"

"Long story short, she looked upset so I asked her what was wrong and she bit my head off. I don't know what's been going on with her lately," Gary admitted with a small shrug.

"Maybe she's annoyed because pretty much everyone else has a date for Valentine's Day; girls are a bit weird about that type of stuff," Alex suggested.

"I guess that makes sense, I mean, me and Anna, Andrew and Trace, Chris and Bella…"

Alex nodded thoughtfully before glancing off screen and smiling at something. "She'll be fine, just give her some space. I can't talk though, I've got plans for tonight – I just wanted to give you the news."

"Yeah, yeah, I can only imagine what type of plans those are –"

"You're as bad as Andrew," Alex interrupted dryly before shaking his head slightly. "I'll talk to you later; be good!"

Gary glared at the phone after hanging up. "'Be good'; like he has room to speak," he muttered under his breath before sighing and picking up Loki to return him and Freya to the lab.

--- --- ---

Tracey felt mildly nervous as he stood in the kitchen, careful to stay between Gary and May since they had been bickering for the past two hours. Dinner had been a nice and casual affair between the normal group of girls, plus Ash and everyone who now lived in the mansion; simple spaghetti and tomato sauce with meatballs for those who ate them and vegetables for Gary and Chelsea, neither of whom ate meat. Now he was just waiting for everyone to return to the kitchen for the chocolate cake he and Michelle had picked up at the bakery that afternoon. They had decided to get an ice cream cake but, after being unable to find one large enough for everyone, settled on a basic cake. Michelle had asked Gary to draw out the music to part of a song that Andrew loved, which they had then asked the person in the bakery to draw in white icing on top of the cake.

Andrew had said he didn't celebrate his birthday but seeing as the cake didn't actually say "Happy Birthday" on it, he figured it wouldn't be too obvious. He hoped that Andrew would like it, especially considering how difficult it had been to get Gary to even draw out the music. Just finding Gary had been a task on its own since he seemed to disappear at random times in the day and there were countless places he could be. On top of that, he had quickly seen through the idea as something for Andrew's birthday and had argued against it until both Tracey and Michelle had sworn not mention which holiday it was for. Gary's vehement argument made him particularly nervous despite Chris and Chelsea's reassurances that it would in fact be greatly appreciated by his boyfriend.

"_Andrew's simple – he'll love it, don't worry."_ Chelsea had told him while Chris had simply said it was a nice thing to do and said that he couldn't see any reason for Andrew not to like it.

This didn't quell the butterflies in his stomach though.

He was pulled out his thoughts by the sound of May's voice snapping once more at Gary, who, to his credit, simply ignored her and turned to Ash to begin talking about something that had happened in training the day before. He glanced up as Andrew stepped in from the porch. Confident that Gary and May wouldn't start arguing if he left his place against the kitchen counter, Tracey walked over to him. Andrew grinned down at him and rested his hands on Tracey's hips.

"Gary and May done fighting yet?"

Tracey rolled his eyes. "For the most part. You seem happy," he observed.

"I am. I'm having a pretty good birthday for once; usually bad things seem to happen…"

A grin spread across Tracey's face; this news quelled some of his fears. "I hope it gets better then," he whispered, giving him a seductive smile that was easily returned.

"Really now? We could sneak upstairs for awhile for that…"

Tracey smiled but shook his head. "Actually I got you something, technically a few things. I know you said you don't celebrate your birthday but I wanted to do something for you."

"Why am I feeling a bit nervous about this, Trace?" Andrew flicked his tongue nervously against his lip ring and Tracey couldn't resist kissing him gently.

"Don't worry," Tracey assured him. He pulled away and headed over to the refrigerator where the cake was currently on the top shelf. He carefully pulled the large box out and placed it on the counter; Andrew slowly followed him over with a curious expression. Tracey flashed him a reassuring smile before flipping open the box and showing it to him.

A small smile curved Andrew's lips as he peered at it. "Wow, Trace," he breathed. "Dead Eye See No Future… My favorite song too; you must've had Gary help you," he said, looking over the design atop the cake.

"You like it?"

"Yeah! This is really… I don't really know what to say. Thanks." He pulled Tracey against him suddenly and pressed a kiss to his lips. "That means a lot to me, and thanks for not putting anything about my birthday on it. How much did you have to twist Gary's arm to get him to do the design?"

Tracey groaned softly as he began pulling plates out of one of the cabinets. "We almost gave up and asked Anna to do it! He's so damn stubborn."

"We?" Andrew echoed.

"Michelle," Tracey explained. "She helped me with it."

Andrew nodded slightly. "She's a pretty cool chick," he said quietly. His tone made Tracey wonder if he was going through one of his small phases where he doubted his sexuality; he seemed to have those moments often. His usual grin quickly returned to his face as Michelle came over and began slicing the large rectangular cake into enough pieces for everyone after taking out a container of whipped cream. Andrew noticed Gary standing nearby and caught his eye before glancing from the cake to Tracey. Gary caught on and nodded, casually making his way closer to Tracey. Andrew picked up one of the plates with a mischievous gleam in his eye as he grinned at Tracey. "You know, Trace, as much as I really love this… I did tell you that I don't celebrate my birthday…"

Noticing the way Andrew was holding the plate, Tracey began to back away; he jumped slightly when he felt a pair of hands suddenly grasp his shoulders. "Where do you think you're going?" a voice asked in his ear and he mentally cursed the way Andrew and Gary seemed to be able to communication without even verbally speaking.

Tracey squirmed in Gary's grip, trying to break free as Andrew came closer with that irritating smirk on his face. Gary tightened his grip, fingers digging into Tracey's arms as he laughed when Andrew shoved the piece of cake in Tracey's face. Tracey retaliated by grabbing the can of whipped cream and spraying it in Andrew's face; Gary had let go of him by now and was now complaining about the icing that had managed to get in his hair. He barely heard the complaining though as he was too busy fighting to keep the can of whipped cream away from Andrew – it didn't do much good as they were now covered in the substance and were laughing too hard to care.

"Guys, careful!" Michelle scolded as she tried passing plates to the other people in the kitchen.

Out of the corner of his eye, Tracey saw Anna sneak up behind Gary while he was too busy trying to get the icing out of his hair at the sink. Andrew paused momentarily when he heard Gary shriek as Anna shoved her own piece of cake in his face. Tracey took the opportunity to scoop some of the icing off himself and smear it in Andrew's face. In no time, both couples were fighting with each other while Bella and Chris quickly ducked out onto the porch to avoid any flying food that could land on them. Michelle stopped trying to slice the cake and instead joined in the fray, shrieking with giggles as she and Anna fought with another can of whipped cream that someone had pulled from the refrigerator.

When they finally stopped fighting the kitchen was covered in toppings and little bits of cake while everyone else had fled to the porch or the dining room. The five teens stood there laughing too hard to say anything for a few minutes until Andrew finally sobered enough to hug Tracey.

"Thank you, Trace," he muttered against his cheek before flicking his tongue out to lick as much of his face clean as he could.

"Did you have fun?" Tracey asked teasingly when he finally pulled away.

"A lot."

"Good! See, maybe you should celebrate your birthday more often."

"Whatever you say, let's just go upstairs and clean up." He leaned forward and placed his mouth next to Tracey's ear. "Maybe we could have some fun while we do it."

Tracey grinned, eager to get into clean clothes but a bit more eager to find out what exactly Andrew meant by "fun".

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

A long chapter this time! I wanted to show some interactions between as many of the characters as possible while passing some time in the story line and this was seriously my sanity between microbiology assignments and education papers. Less than a month to go before summer break…. Next chapter should be more interesting. ; )

Dead Eyes See No Future is an Arch Enemy song from their Anthems of Rebellion album; one of their most awesome songs I think. Added in for my boyfriend since he's been working on learning Arch Enemy's Blood on Your Hands on guitar a lot this weekend. I never get tired of hearing that band – by far one of my favorites, I think they've pushed Therion out of my top five bands.

Arch-trainer – Apparently Ash had a big crush on May in the manga, I never actually read it though. I'm glad you're curious about May! Hooking up with Ash would be an interesting idea… you might have given me an idea for another fic… : )

Thanks to everyone else who reviewed.

As it is Easter, I wish you all a happy Zombie Jesus Day (sorry if that offends anyone, but it is what it is). Have some safe and fun Easter egg hunts and eat all the jelly beans you can!


	51. Chapter 51: Complications

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 51: Complications

May slowly made her towards her bedroom after cleaning up the evidence of the rather mellow party that had taken place a few hours prior. Despite the late hour, she found herself surprised by the relative quietness of the house; it was rare to not hear some sort of noise drifting through the walls or open doors on the second floor and she was so unused to it that she found it rather unnerving. She opened her bedroom door and paused, not expecting to find it occupied upon her arrival.

She sighed as she kicked off the pink sling-back heels that she had bought just for the holiday. "Is your bedroom not comfortable enough for you anymore?"

The other occupant of the room simply shook his head with a slight roll of his eyes. "My room is fine," Gary replied flatly as his sister headed into her bathroom to change.

"Then why are you in here and not there?" May's voice drifted from the bathroom.

"I think you know the answer to that, May," Gary called after her. The soft scoff from the room beyond his line of vision did not escape his hearing. He frowned; what was it about female hormones that could change even his caring and wonderful older sister into a hissing harpy with drawn claws at the ready? He had no idea; he just knew that he needed to figure out what was the cause of May's sudden change in attitude. "I don't understand what happened earlier – we never fight like that."

May was quiet for a few moments as she washed her makeup off her face and brushed her hair. She wasn't entirely sure what had made her snap at her brother earlier that day, much less yell at and fight with him for the rest of the afternoon. What she did know was what had turned her mood foul – her friends. Seeing the way Bella and Chris kissed and touched nonstop – holding hands, cuddling on the couch, nuzzling each other – combined with Gary and Anna's blatant contentment, Tracey and Andrew's relationship, and the way Michelle complained about not knowing who she could possibly sleep with next had driven her to the brink of insanity. All anyone ever seemed to care about was hooking up with someone and if it wasn't that, they were already in a working relationship.

Throughout her teenage years, she and Bella had dealt with the same problem with boys – they were either too immature or too intimidated to have anything to do with them. The boys either hit on them incessantly and immaturely or would become shy… Or they, like Tracey, were gay. Bella had eventually stopped looking for better boyfriends than the ones she snagged and resorted to simply ignoring boys, only occasionally having anything to do with them when she felt the urge to bed one. And now she had a nice, mature, smart boyfriend with whom she could truly connect. She and Chris were good together – they were both mature and intelligent, they both came from large families with a strong Italian heritage, they had similar tastes in books, they had a similar dry sense of humor and they were both artistic in some way – Bella with her dancing and Chris with his drumming. They even liked the same types of food! Not even Gary and Anna had that particular similarity between them. May couldn't help but be at least a bit jealous of her best friend, and Chris' good looks and sweet nature didn't help matters any.

And as for May… She wasn't inexperienced though she couldn't hold a candle to Anna or Michelle's track records, or even Bella's, nor did she want to in the first place. Of course, she'd had a few boyfriends here and there; one relationship had even lasted for two years before her boyfriend had moved to Vermillion City for college after they graduated high school. The breakup wasn't some tragic story heartbreak that most teenage girls seemed to possess. It didn't change her situation though.

It was with a sigh that she finally left the solitude of her bathroom to face her little brother's concern. "You just caught me at a bad time," she hedged as she walked over to her bed and lay down on it.

"A bad time?" Gary echoed in disbelief. He shook his head slightly and sat at the vanity table directly across the bedroom from the foot of the bed. "Catching you at a bad time involves you either telling me to go away or you asking me for a hug. What happened earlier," Gary gestured vaguely in the direction of the kitchen, "was not 'catching you at a bad time', that was you being a bitch – which you _aren't_!" he quickly added so as to not anger her once more.

May considered him coolly but remained silent; the last thing she wanted to do was admit her jealousy.

Receiving no response, Gary sighed. "I guess Alex was right earlier," he muttered.

"Right about what?" May finally asked.

"He said you were probably mad that your best friends all had dates while you didn't." May's eyes narrowed slightly at this but Gary pressed on without pausing. "He also proposed to Monica, which I would have told you earlier if you hadn't insisted on insulting me all night."

"Alex is… engaged? But… Wow, I didn't expect that," May said softly. "I thought he was waiting on you to get somewhere with Anna though?" she asked.

Gary hesitated slightly before shrugging off his slight apprehension. "One of the reasons I went into the kitchen in the first place was to talk to you about that, actually," he admitted.

May groaned, her body slumping against the pillows as much as her position would allow her to. "Gary, if this is another instance of you overanalyzing everything, then I really don't want to hear it –"

"It would be really nice if you would let me talk instead of jumping to conclusions," Gary interrupted coldly. His voice softened slightly as he continued. "May, I'm really," he sighed and paused, running a hand through his hair, not sure if May was the best person to talk to about this. But May was his sister – he was supposed to be able to talk to her about anything. "Things with Anna are getting really –" he paused again as May suddenly exhaled sharply. "What?"

May rolled onto her stomach as she let out the sharp breath, her brother's question held a tone that was a combination of annoyance and concern. The last thing she wanted to hear about tonight was Gary and Anna's love life – Gary loved her and there was nothing she could do about that. He would have to deal with it on his own, May determined. "You know, Gary, it's really late and I'm really tired; you should just go to bed."

Gary stared at her in disbelief for a moment before scoffing and standing up from his seat. "I would have expected this from Chelsea or Michelle, but not from you. If you're really that jealous of everyone then maybe you should get off of your pedestal and do something about it."

The door closed harshly behind him and May closed her eyes and buried her face in one of her pillows as his footsteps echoed down the hallway. It wasn't fair… She was just as good as Bella and Anna and Tracey, so why was it she couldn't have someone like they did? She hated it and this jealousy was not a welcome emotion as it clashed horrifically with her calm and sweet persona. Pushing away her brother wasn't exactly the most sensitive thing to do but she simply couldn't deal with it right now. Tears were slowly streaming down her face until a sudden beeping noise came from the direction of her computer. Sitting up and wiping her eyes, she could see a new message flashing on the screen.

She walked over to her desk and smiled as she read the message.

_Heard you were upset – what's wrong?_

Damien.

--- --- ---

"May wouldn't even let you talk?"

Gary shook his head at Andrew's question as he secured the paper thin sheet of rubber over the top of a venom collecting container he and Andrew were setting up for Chris.

"Why?"

He shrugged lightly and pushed the containers further back on the bench so that they couldn't be knocked over. "Alex thinks she's jealous of everyone who's dating; I don't see why she would be considering she doesn't even try to get a boyfriend."

"Maybe she just needs a good lay," Andrew suggested with a grin as he leaned against the counter.

"Everything with you goes straight back to sex, doesn't it?" Gary asked, pushing Andrew aside so he could begin pulling vials and pipettes out of a drawer.

"Why am I not allowed to set anything up?" Andrew asked in annoyance. He grinned as he saw Tracey patiently struggling with Loki, who was trying to play with everything in sight while the boy tried to weigh him.

"Because you go completely spastic and fuck everything up –"

"Spastic?" Andrew echoed as Ash came in from outside with Chelsea and Shawn. "What do you mean by that? You'd think I'm horrible in a lab with the way you talk."

Gary shook his head and leaned against the lab bench next to Andrew while they waited for Chris to finish whatever he was doing on his computer. "You _are_ horrible in a lab, Andrew; don't you remember microbiology?"

"What did I do in microbiology?"

"What did you do?" Gary echoed in disbelief. "Andrew, you set the lab bench on fire!"

That caught Tracey's attention. "You set a lab bench on fire?" he asked incredulously, looking up from across the lab.

Chris snickered as he finally closed off the window he was working on and turned off the computer monitor. "I remember that one. Alex gave him the 'idiot of the semester' award for that," he told Tracey as he picked up his log book and headed over to where Gary and Andrew were waiting on him.

"I didn't do it on purpose…" Andrew muttered. "It wouldn't have happened if someone didn't spill the ethanol all over!"

Gary scoffed at this. "That was also your fault, besides, how the hell do you knock over a burner? It was entirely you!"

"It was a one-time screw up, that's all!"

"How about the rattata dissection?"

"Or the time you got your scalpel stuck in the spine of the pikachu?" Shawn pointed out as he calmly sat down at his desk and began working on the computer. Despite the way he paled slightly, Andrew grinned as he noticed the way the color in Gary's face quickly drained.

"You dissected a pikachu?!" Ash asked in shock with a look of horror on his tan face.

"Ok, you two, enough is enough. Just drop it," Chris finally interceded as Professor Oak entered the lab with his granddaughter at his side.

"You also scorched my organic chem. notebook…"

"Gary, I said to drop it! Chelsea, get over here; you're our nurse for the day."

"You know, we should get her one of those really cute skanky nurse outfits – ow! Bitch…" Andrew trailed off as Chelsea hit Andrew in the back of the head with the clipboard she was holding.

Chris sighed as Gary rolled his eyes; the banter between Chelsea and Andrew was never-ending. A moment later Ash came over with a handful of numbered pokeballs, which he handed to Chris. Andrew stopped complaining under his breath and groaned when he saw the numbers on the pokeballs; the numbers indicated that they would be working with a set of particularly malicious arbok from an island in the Hoenn region. The professor at the university in Pastoria that Chris was working with sent over sets of snakes from different regions each week for the boys in the lab to milk. Chris had been working with the venom nonstop, comparing the strength from different locations in the surrounding regions. Neither Andrew nor Gary particularly liked working with the snakes as there was little room for error – bites were immensely painful and slow-healing, even with antivenin and pain medication; as Andrew had learned earlier that month and Gary had learned as a trainer years earlier. Unfortunately, they were the only two who could help Chris; Shawn disliked snakes immensely and refused to work with them, Ash was clumsy and not a good choice while Tracey, May, and Chelsea needed to be nearby in case of any accidents.

Gary watched Ash place the pokeballs in a rack and frowned. "Whose turn is it to take notes?" he asked, hoping it was his.

"Andrew's. And it's my turn to transfer the venom to the vials," Chris replied, tossing the log book to Andrew, who looked immensely relieved by the words.

Gary cursed under his breath as Ash quickly retreated across the lab to help Tracey with the puppies' weekly physicals, Chelsea backed away a few feet with a grim expression as though this was the last thing she wanted to spend her Monday morning doing. He steeled himself as Chris read off the number on the first ball he picked out to Andrew; Chris glanced at him and he nodded. "God, I hate this," he muttered under his breath.

"It won't be that bad; just be careful," Chris assured him before releasing the first snake. It rose from the floor hissing vehemently with it's hood fully extended. Gary slowly moved towards it, mildly surprised that it hadn't struck at him yet; perhaps this would be easier than he thought. He moved around behind the snake and spared a quick glance over at Andrew, who distracted the snake long enough for Gary to pick it up from behind the head in one swift movement. "I hate it when you do that," Chris scolded softly as Gary made his way to the lab bench. "There's a safer way to pick them up."

"It worked, didn't it?" Gary responded as the arbok plunged it's long fangs into the rubber top of the glass container.

"So, why exactly did you want to talk to May in the first place?" Andrew asked, watching warily as venom dripped steadily down the sides of the container.

Gary frowned as he adjusted his grip on the snake's body to allow it to bite the rubber a second time. "Anna," he replied flatly.

"What about her?" Chelsea asked curiously from several feet away.

"Things are getting more serious." The venom stopped flowing and Gary moved the snake away from the bench to allow Chris to recall it.

"How so?" Chris asked as he placed the pokeball back on the rack.

"Do you even have to ask?" Gary watched Chris carefully remove the top from the container and began drawing the collected venom out with a pipette.

"Probably not," Andrew muttered. Chelsea nodded in agreement and Chris stayed oddly quiet, though Gary passed it off as heavy concentration as the older teen read off the volume to Andrew.

"I don't know, it's just…"

"You're blushing," Chelsea teased as Gary's voice trailed off. Andrew and Gary both laughed at her observation while Chris capped the vial he had just transferred the venom into.

"Ready for the next one?" he asked.

Gary nodded and waited for Chris to release the next snake, which rose from the floor just as angry as the last one.

"Well, it_ is _obvious that you're totally in love with her," Chelsea spoke up as the arbok drained it's venom into the collection container a few short moments later. She looked over at Andrew with a grin. "He's burning for her, isn't he, Andrew?"

"I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you," he began singing loudly in response, causing Chelsea to giggle while Chris frowned at them.

The singing seemed to irritate the snake as it bit the rubber top viciously and released a fresh spurt of venom; suddenly nervous by the reaction, Gary tightened his grip. "As much as I like Blue Oyster Cult, I'm going to hurt you if it gets me bit," he warned with a small chuckle.

Andrew grinned in response while Chris spoke up. "You love her and things are getting even more serious, huh? Thinking of marrying her, Gary?"

Gary frowned as Chris recalled the snake and stepped up to collect the venom. "Maybe," he evaded the question.

"That's what it sounds like to me," Chris pressed on, sending a small smirk Gary's way.

"Yeah? And how are things going with you and _darling_ Anabella?"

"Anabella?" Andrew echoed with a small laugh while Chris frowned in response and silently went on with what he was doing.

"What did you think 'Bella' was short for? Bellatrix?" Gary grinned at the questioning look Andrew sent his way. "Anna made me read the books," he explained.

"Wow, you're whipped," Chelsea exclaimed loudly with a sudden laugh.

"Yeah, to make him read Harry Potter books? Totally whipped," Chris agreed with her. "Come on, guys, three more snakes left."

The four teens were quiet for several minutes as Gary struggled with the next snake, who was particularly angry to be out of it's pokeball in the lab. Gary gave a slight sigh of relief as the arbok finally plunged it's fangs into the rubber top of the new container. "Thought for sure I was gonna get bit that time," he muttered as Andrew and Chelsea slowly inched back to where they had been standing before retreating back by several feet when the snake began thrashing and striking at everything in sight. "I'm not whipped."

"Sure thing, Gary; whatever you say."

"Leave him alone, Andrew," Chris replied, leaning against the lab bench a few feet away from Gary. "So? Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Thinking of marrying her."

Gary's frown deepened as he glared at his older friend. "I'm not answering that."

"Aw, come on!"

"Pussy!"

Chris shook his head at Chelsea and Andrew's reactions to Gary's response. "I think we can get a better answer than that, Gary."

"That's as good as you're getting so deal with it." The snake was recalled as soon as it had given all of it's venom and Gary and Chris once more switched places.

"Not even going to tell us, Gary?" Andrew asked lightly. "That's pretty pitiful of you, man."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Don't start, not when I'm dealing with this shit – I'll find a syringe and inject you two if you get annoying enough." Andrew backed away slowly at Chris' threat. "Come on, Gary, give us an answer."

"Maybe," Gary finally responded after a few minutes, as the fourth snake reluctantly drained a few drops of venom into the container.

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe I am."

"Thinking of marrying her?" Andrew asked, clearly in shock.

Gary nodded slowly, sighing as Chris recalled the uncooperative snake. "Yeah… I thought of it back around Christmas actually and now it's just… seeming more and more likely lately."

"Why did you want to talk to May about it?"

"Because I wanted to talk to someone about it and I figured she'd be the best person. She _usually_ is."

"Maybe you should have talked to Alex about this one," Chris replied.

"Yeah, but I'm sure he and Monica were pretty busy _celebrating,_ if you know what I mean," Andrew told him with a mischievous grin. "And he would've ended up annoying you anyway – he always does."

"Andrew's right, actually," Gary muttered. "He's gotten better, but not enough to talk to him about this."

"Suit yourself," Chris said with a shrug as he held up the final pokeball. "I'm just surprised we managed to get an answer out of you without threatening blackmail. Ready for the last one?"

Gary nodded and readied himself. "Let's just get this over with."

--- --- ---

A soft sigh escaped Gary as he leaned against the door to the mall dressing room and waited for Anna finish trying on the next bathing suit she had picked out. He felt like either hitting his head against the wall or yelling at her to hurry up so that they could get something to eat. March had come and the remaining snow had completely melted as the temperature began a slow but steady climb from winter into spring. Anna's method of celebrating the warmer weather? Dragging her boyfriend out to help her pick out a new bathing suit. Love or not, Gary was ready to kill her at this point. It had only taken him five minutes to find one that fit him and looked good; he couldn't see why it was taking Anna over half an hour just to try on the suits that she had spent just as long picking out.

The door behind him opened and he nearly fell over as Anna stepped out of the small room with a smirk on her face.

"Getting bored?" she asked as she turned for Gary to see the newest bathing suit; a plain blue bikini top with boyshort style bottoms that he frowned at.

"Can't we just go to the mus –"

"No, deal with it. This one's a no, then?" Anna asked, easily reading the way Gary glanced it over.

"Major no, I told you to stick with black and red; they look best on you."

Anna shrugged and disappeared back into the tiny room. "Six down, six hundred and sixty left to go, babe, we're almost done," she called with a laugh.

"Why can't I just go to the music store while you do this?"

"I only have two more to try on! Stop bitching, it could be worse; you know how long May and Bella take for this, right? Michelle and I don't even go shopping with them anymore… At least we haven't run into Rachael."

Gary groaned quietly and closed his eyes for a moment. Opening his eyes a moment later, he noticed a girl on the other side of the store who looked somewhat familiar. "Hold that thought, Anna," he muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"Rachael's friend Cassie. Did she dye her hair red?"

Anna was quiet for a minute and Gary could hear her pause while changing. "Yeah, she got a perm too; it looks like shit."

Gary couldn't help but groan again as he looked over the red-haired girl across the room from him. "I can tell," he replied.

Anna opened the door once more and this time Gary didn't lose his balance when she did so. "What are you talking about?"

Gary gestured across the room vaguely as he took in the sight of the new swimsuit that he much preferred over the others Anna had tried on. It was simple, a normal tie bikini that had stripes of black and red; he couldn't help but appreciate the way it looked on her.

"Shit, that's her," Anna muttered as she looked over at where he was gesturing. "And Liz and Jen are with her too. Fuck, we need to leave – this one look good?"

"It looks great."

"Good," Anna reached into the fitting room and pulled out the hangers containing the suits she had already tried on. "Put these away for me."

"Wait, what are we doing? It's just those three; and I thought you said that you and Rachael were getting along fine?" Gary asked in confusion as he took the hangers from her and carelessly placed them and the rack nearest to him.

"Bitches travel in packs, Gary, and we will never be 'fine' again," Anna hissed through the door as she tugged on her clothes once more. "Rachael's ok when she's not around Jen or Alexis. She's worst when she's around Marcie… And I'm sure they're here if those three wenches are."

Gary winced inwardly at the harsh tone she took on when she was talking about her sister and her group of friends. He had never liked them in the first place and he couldn't help but dislike them for the way they had turned his friend into a cruel person. The door opened to reveal a disheveled Anna who had obviously hastened to pull on her ripped denim mini skirt and off-shoulder Kataklysm shirt. "We don't have to go rushing off just because they're here," he assured her as she straightened her long hair.

Anna looked uncomfortable for a moment while she ran her fingers through her black and purple hair. Gary immediately recognized the way she avoided his eyes. "You're not telling me something," he observed quietly. "What is it?"

"Let's just leave, Gary."

"How much are they going to say with me here? You know Rachael doesn't pick fights around me… Well, usually, at least." Anna shook her head and began heading towards the register to pay for the bathing suit in hand.

"We're leaving –"

"Well, well, the hooker and her –"

"Go to hell, Alexis," Gary interrupted the girl who had just cut off Anna. "You guys have no room to speak so shut up while you're ahead."

The girl tossed her bleach blonde hair over a thin shoulder and gave Anna a haughty glance over. "They really need to put a dress code in place to keep out people like you," she told her with a smirk.

Anna bristled at the remark and stepped forward to retaliate, pausing only when Gary placed a hand on her arm. "I don't think you understood me, Alexis; shut up and get out of here," he replied as calmly as he could.

"Gary, Anna? What are you guys doing here?" a familiar voice spoke from behind them as Alexis opened her mouth to retort.

Anna's aggravated sigh, though an expected response, was far different from Gary's. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of his former close friend, one of the other girls had come over and was saying something to Anna but he could hardly hear it as he met Rachael's eyes in confusion.

"Rach… What happened?" he asked softly. If Rachael had looked bad when he saw her on Christmas, she looked much worse now. Her weight loss was even more extreme than it had been then, she was practically skin and bones; were she to take her shirt off, Gary was certain he'd be able to count her ribs. Her hair which had always been neatly maintained at chin-length with her highlights perfectly touched up was now several inches longer and hung limply about her face. He could see where her blonde highlights had started to fade while there were a few inches of pale red roots. Her eyes seemed dim and sunken with dark circles beneath them; they held a hauntingly familiar hollowness that unnerved Gary.

"Don't worry about it," she replied. Even her voice sounded different: more subdued, slightly hoarse as though she hadn't used it much recently. That hollowness seemed to reach her voice.

"Rachael…"

"What are you doing here?" Gary gestured vaguely towards the racks of swimsuits. "You haven't gone swimming since you were twelve, Gary."

"I had to cover up the cuts. I stopped so there's no point in covering them," he explained honestly. Rachael took his hand and gazed at the scars with an unreadable expression; a mix of blankness, slight interest, and something darker. She seemed to accept the answer and released his hand though her eyes never left his arm. "What's going on with you, Rach?" Gary asked, his voice softer than usual and laced with concern. "This isn't you."

"I'm fine."

Gary scoffed softly; he doubted anything could be further from the truth than that statement. "Rachael, this isn't healthy – this isn't good!"

She stared up at him for a moment before sighing in resignation. "Gary, this is going to turn physical," she said quietly, gesturing at the way Anna was arguing with Alexis. Rachael's friend named Marcie had joined in and was not making matters any better. "You need to get Anna out of here, Marcie won't hesitate to claw out her eyes."

Gary glanced over at the girls and noticed the way Anna's hands were balled into fists; he had to admit that he was awfully proud of the way she was restraining herself from screaming insults at the girls. Only a year ago she would have already had them on the floor in full out brawl; their relationship had mellowed her considerably. Rachael was certainly right though, he needed to break this up before it went further, and he would have to talk to Rachael another time. He groaned softly and nodded regretfully before turning to the other girls and stepping in front of Anna.

"We're leaving," he told her firmly as he pulled the bathing suit she had picked out of her hands and gently pushed her in the direction of the cash register. As Anna walked ahead of him, he turned back to Rachael and met her eyes briefly. "We need to talk," he mouthed silently.

Rachael only shrugged sadly in response as if to say, "good luck with that."

--- --- ---

The food court had seemed to be the safest place as it was quite a ways away from the clothing store Rachael and her friends had been in and it was close to the entrance they had parked near. It had been difficult to force Anna out of the store without exchanging more harsh words with the other girls, but Gary had eventually managed to get her to the food court where they were now sitting. Anna was slouched in her seat and scowling as she nursed a vanilla milkshake, her small lunch of a burger and fries completely ignored while her boyfriend picked at the leftover french-fries with a distant look in his eyes.

"I totally jinxed that," Anna muttered as she stirred her milkshake with her straw, a frown furrowing her pale brow. "I should've just kept my mouth shut."

Gary shook his head while distractedly playing with the hair tie that was around his wrist. "Would that have really changed anything?" he asked reasonably.

"No, I guess not," Anna replied with a heavy sigh.

They were quiet for a few more minutes until Gary spoke up again. "How long has Rachael been like that, Anna?"

She closed her eyes momentarily and lowered her gaze to the table top as soon as she opened them again. "Awhile," she said quietly.

"Awhile? How long is that?" Anna remained quiet for a long moment until Gary reached across the table and lifted her chin until she met his eyes. "How long, Anna?"

"Since we came back from Pastoria!"

Gary frowned at the snapped response and withdrew his hand from her face. "Is that why you wanted to leave as soon as you saw Cassie and her groupies?"

Anna nodded miserably and went back to stirring her milkshake distractedly. "I didn't want you to see her like that," she admitted softly.

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want you to worry about her," Anna said as though it made all the sense in the world.

Gary's frown deepened considerably as he tossed his hair irritably over his shoulder. He understood exactly what she meant by that. "Don't you think I have a right to worry about my friends, Anna?"

"Friend?" Anna echoed with an unreadable expression crossing her face. "Since when is that bitch still your friend, Gary?"

He closed his eyes for a moment when he realized that had been the wrong thing to say; that didn't mean he hadn't meant it though. "I never said she was _still_ my friend," he paused and glared impatiently at Anna when she scoffed and shook her head. "Don't start. Even if we don't get along now, I can't just sit back as if nothing's wrong! She was one of my best friends for years!"

"Yeah, and you fucked her too," Anna snapped angrily.

"For god's sake, Anna…" Gary began. He couldn't believe she would bring that up at this point in time, so long after the last time he had been with her sister. "When was the last time I had sex with her?"

"In August!"

Gary sighed in annoyance. "Yeah, but I never started anything with her! What does it matter when I haven't been with anyone other than you and Tracey in the past six months?"

Anna narrowed her eyes at him before turning her head and resolutely glaring at the far side of the food court. "It matters a lot that you've screwed my sister. Not to mention how many other girls you've been with…"

"How many girls _I've_ been with? Anna, most people wouldn't sleep with you knowing how many guys you've been through –"

"And yet you weren't complaining this morning!"

"When have I ever complained about it? I've never even complained about you being with other people! The sex isn't what I'm concerned about!" Gary glanced around and noticed a few people from the nearby tables watching the young couple with poorly-disguised interest; he could see that this argument would only escalate and attract more unwanted attention if they stayed. "Let's just forget it; I have other things to do than sit here and argue with you about sex of all things."

Anna stood with a huff and slung her small messenger bag over her shoulder as she grabbed her bags from the floor next to her seat. "Fine!"

Gary quickly shoved back his chair and followed her as she began walking away, abandoning the remains of their lunch on the table. "Anna, wait; come on, babe! I don't see why you're overreacting; you know you would feel terrible if anything happened to your sister."

"Shut up, Gary!"

He couldn't help but feel grateful that the mall was surprisingly empty this afternoon as he followed her through the vast atrium towards the entrance they had parked near. Thoroughly aggravated by her response, he grabbed her arm and forced her to stop and look at him. "You know what, I'm sorry I'm such a fucking pathetic boyfriend, Anna! It's not like I care or anything," he hissed sarcastically. "I mean, I don't treat you well or go out of my way to do nice things for you or buy you anything. Oh, and spending time just hanging out with you? I never do that! I'm _so_ sorry that I'm such a waste of your time."

The rough shove to his chest was unexpected and left him slightly off balance as he watched Anna stalk ahead of him. Gary sighed and raked a hand through his hair knowing that it was going to be a long ride back to Pallet.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes:: **

Ah, such a difficult chapter to write. Papers, presentations, tutoring at a local middle school, pet deaths, and being sick in the midst of it all makes for difficult writing!

So notes for this one… The little Bellatrix/Harry Potter three-line conversation in the lab refers back to chapter 38 when Andrew was reading when Gary and Ash arrived in Sinnoh.

By the way, I did delete _Changes_ and I'm working on rewriting it so it will hopefully be posted again shortly after the end of my semester (first or second week of May, so a few weeks from now). It will be totally different from how it was before, in case you did by chance read it. I do have a new story up called _Secrets Told_, it has nothing to do with this story and it's a hell of a lot shorter. There are four chapters up right now and it'll end at five or six and the chapters are much shorter than these ones. Check it out and let me know what you think! (please)

Kasandra – thanks! I'm glad you liked that little bit between Gary and Anna!


	52. Chapter 52: Small Acheivements

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 52: Small Achievements

The occupants of the room were oddly quiet as the couple argued in the hallway, it was impossible not to hear them as they crossed the house. May and Bella met each other's eyes in mild surprise as Gary and Anna rarely argued; Chris and Shawn merely stayed silent while Kate nervously followed the path of the angry voices beyond the living room with her eyes.

"You know what, Anna, forget it! I'm done – go home and bitch to your mother about it!" Gary's heated voice carried from the stairs. Michelle raised her eyebrows slightly as his footsteps echoed on the stairs, followed closely by Anna's as she called after him. A door slammed a moment later and they could faintly hear Anna yelling through it, a frustrated scream floated down from the second floor and was followed by Anna's furious pacing down the hall to her own room. Without her yelling, they could faintly hear music presumably coming from Gary's bedroom until another door slammed and was followed by more faint music. The four girls jumped slightly when the volume of one of the distant stereos suddenly doubled, making the Cradle of Filth song clearly discernable even downstairs.

Chris and Shawn barely flinched when the volume increased, both used to the loud music that usually followed an argument or fight between Gary and Andrew. Michelle was first to break the silence with a low whistle.

"Damn," she said quietly. "What the hell was that?"

"Not good," Kate replied nervously. Chris nodded in silent agreement while May and Bella seemed to have an unspoken conversation with their eyes.

"Do you think he'll cut himself again?" Bella finally asked seriously.

May shrugged helplessly. "I hope not but he's been kind of high strung since we got in our fight last week. We never exactly made up…"

"Maybe you should go talk to him, May," Kate suggested, sounding, if possible, more nervous than a moment prior. Michelle and Bella both nodded in agreement while Shawn looked torn between agreeing and disagreeing.

"Talking to Alex might help him," Chris suggested quietly.

May shook her head distractedly. "No," she replied in a small, sad voice. "He needs to do it on his own; you know how stubborn he is. And Alex is too overbearing with this stuff, talking to him would probably do more harm than good."

They were quiet for a few more minutes until Kate spoke up quietly once more. "If anything were to make him go back to cutting himself, it would be something like this." May pursed her lips slightly before nodding in affirmation, hoping that it wouldn't come to pass. She honestly had no idea what could've made the two argue like that; they had been getting along perfectly before leaving for the mall that morning.

Chris hastily changed the subject though Bella and May could both see the faint worry in his dark eyes as they conversed about random subjects. May went along with the conversation purely to give her brother time to cool off before she headed upstairs to find out what had happened.

--- --- ---

Over an hour later found May upstairs before the closed door to her brother's bedroom. Anna had left for her house only a short while beforehand and May could only assume the two teens had calmed down a bit since coming home. The music in the room had been since lowered to a reasonable volume, most likely at the request of Tracey. She knocked softly and gently opened the door when there was no response; her heart fell slightly as she closed the door behind her and made her way across the room to the large bed. Gary was curled up amongst the covers the way he usually did when he wasn't feeling well, or whenever he had recently cut himself. But what May found to be most alarming was the fact that he was once more wearing the Iron Maiden hoodie.

She sat down on the edge of the bed with a tiny sigh as she watched Gary for a moment; despite his closed eyes, she could tell he wasn't sleeping and was sure that he was well aware of her presence. She lay down next to him and pressed a small kiss against his cheek.

"Are you alright?"

He nodded in response but May felt little relief as she glanced at his covered forearms. She reached over and gently grasped one of his hands, relieved to find that it wasn't shaky as it usually was after cutting himself, but it wasn't reassuring enough. She let go of his hand and slowly moved her own hand over the left sleeve of the sweatshirt and was mildly surprised to not feel any bandages through the fabric. She sat up again and gazed down at Gary, wondering silently if it was asking too much for him to have not resorted to hurting himself again.

His eyes were still closed but a tiny smiled tugged at the corner of his mouth. "You can check if you want," he said softly.

May hesitantly reached for the edge of the sleeve and gently rolled it up to reveal no new wounds – the most recent scar being only the now six-month old gash that she had stitched in the bathroom of what was now the music room. Still a bit hesitant to believe him, she reached for the other sleeve and tugged it up to reveal the same thing. Finally satisfied, May squealed and hugged her brother tightly, slightly surprised by the soft laugh that the move elicited.

"I'm so proud of you!" she exclaimed as she kissed his cheek again.

"You're easily pleased," Gary muttered under his breath.

May pulled away from him with a concerned frown. "What do you mean? This is a pretty big deal for you –"

"I don't want to hear it."

She stayed silent for a moment after the quiet comment, unable to understand why exactly Gary couldn't see why she was so thrilled. A bit unwillingly, she passed his lack of interest off as a result of whatever had happened with Anna. "How was the mall?" she asked casually.

Gary groaned softly and rolled onto his stomach to avoid looking at her. "Ran into Rachael," he explained flatly.

"I thought they were getting along?"

Gary hesitated a moment before speaking as he mentally replayed what had happened in the clothing store. "Yeah, but Miss Peroxide started a fight and I had to drag Anna out of the store."

May nodded in understanding, able to see Anna fighting with her sister's friends; it wasn't exactly too uncommon. It did explain what had happened with Gary and Anna though. "What happened with you two?"

"She got pissed because I accidentally referred to Rachael as one of my friends."

May raised her eyebrows slightly in surprise; this was not something she had expected. Arguments between Anna and her sister had always caused sudden rifts and undefined make ups between Gary and Rachael as he would often abandon Rachael's friendship seemingly on the spot to comfort Anna. The friendship had dissolved entirely after Halloween though she knew Gary still held friendly feelings towards the girl. Perhaps unfortunately, his devotion to Anna stood in the way of any renewed friendship; at least, that's what May _had_ thought, perhaps things had changed if he had referred to her as a friend. Then again… he had used the word 'accidentally' so maybe that wasn't exactly the case.

"Accidentally? What's that mean?"

Gary thought over his response for moment before speaking slowly as he tried to put his thoughts regarding Rachael in order. "Rach looks really bad, May; I asked Anna how long she's been that bad and I got kind of annoyed when she said that she didn't want me to worry about her –"

"Let me guess," May interrupted. "You said that there was no reason for you not to worry about your friends?"

"You know me too well."

May smiled grimly, few people knew her brother as well as she did and she knew it. "Of course I do; how many other people do you go bitching to when something's on your mind?" She paused and thought for a moment before smiling again. "What I should ask is how many people can get you to talk when something is bothering you…"

Gary shrugged slightly. "I guess so," he agreed quietly without really paying attention to what May had said. He was starting to wonder where exactly Anna was as it usually took less than an hour for one of their arguments to blow over. Granted, this had been one of their worst arguments over the long course of history the two shared, if not _the_ worst; but still… It was somewhat unusual for Anna to not apologize or accept his apology by this time. He sighed softly; he figured he would have to go talk to her. "Where's Anna?"

May's gentle smile faded quickly. "She went home," she explained.

Gary groaned and rubbed his temples; it had taken much willpower to keep from hurting himself after the argument and learning that Anna left did not make him feel much better. "When?"

"Only a few minutes ago," May replied. She could see that Gary obviously wanted to go talk to her and make up with her, the fact that she had heard about the conversation that took place in the lab nearly a week prior only made what was going through her brother's head more apparent to her. "I think she needs some more time to cool down, Nicole will probably get her to calm down," she began, knowing how Anna's mother often was just as good as, if not better than, Gary when it came to calming her down. "But if this fight was about Rachael it might take awhile for her to forgive you."

Gary gave a small nod in response. He knew as well as anyone that Anna had a knack when it came to holding grudges. He didn't like to admit it, but he was rather worried about what effect this would have on their relationship in the immediate future. "Yeah, it was definitely the worst we've had," he told May.

"I could tell; you guys usually aren't so mean to each other."

"I guess that's what happens when you drag Rachael into the picture."

May couldn't help but nod in agreement; she doubted the sisters would ever get along again. "Dinner's going to be ready soon, you should come downstairs and eat," she informed Gary, sensing that their little heart-to-heart was nearing its end.

"I'm not particularly hungry."

"Gary," she sighed softly as she ran a hand through her hair. "We're not doing this."

"I know, May," he replied somewhat irritably. "I'll eat when I'm hungry."

The finality of Gary's tone clearly told May that the conversation was now over. She stood and gazed down into his stubborn eyes for a moment with a sad smile before shaking her head and leaving the room. Dealing with him often left her frustrated and weary, now was no exception and she felt a strong urge to slap Anna across the face for forcing her into this situation. She wondered if the other girl even realized what an effect she had on Gary whenever they fought. Still, Gary had obviously improved in past months, if judgment was based on the lack of new injuries to his arm; for that, May was immensely proud of her younger brother. Words couldn't quite express her pride at that moment; she had to tell someone, she determined as she stepped off of the bottom step of the staircase and headed in the direction of the lab.

--- --- ---

While one young woman was somewhat-happily telling her grandfather about her brother's latest achievement, another young woman was slouched at the retro-styled table in her mother's kitchen, scowling as her mother paced across the tiles while cooking.

"Anna, is it impossible for you to _not_ get into fights?" Nicole scolded her elder daughter.

The teen girl glared at her mother before shaking her head irritably as she turned her hazel gaze towards the open window next to her seat. "I thought you'd at least be pleased that I didn't fight with Rachael, now you're _still_ lecturing me about fighting!"

The attractive woman in her mid-forties sighed as she regarded her troublesome daughter. "I _am_ glad you two didn't fight but did you have to go and pick a fight with Gary? For god's sake, Anna, the boy puts up with enough from you without you being that way." She shook her head in mild disappointment and turned back to the stove to check on the sautéing vegetables and chicken, ignoring the way Anna groaned and aimed a kick at the leg of the table. She was used to this by now as that particular table leg bore the marks of many similar kicks aimed by Anna's boots and towering heels.

"Aren't I allowed to be mad at him?" Anna exclaimed loudly, startling the pidgey that was perched on a tree branch near the window. "After everything that happened with that bitch –"

"Annamarie!"

Anna merely rolled her eyes at the usage of her full first name as she continued her short tirade. "He still considers her a friend! It's not fair; whose side is he on?"

"He loves you, Anna; whose side do you _think_ he's on?" Nicole forced out through clenched teeth, crossing her arms over her chest and sending a stern glare Anna's way.

"Of course you side with Gary; you like him more anyways."

Nicole slowly released a deep breath, willing herself not to snap at her daughter. "It's difficult to not like someone who's able to put up with you the way Gary does," she muttered under her breath as she checked on the rice that was slowly cooking on the stove.

"Ma!"

"What do you expect me to say, Anna? You _know_ that Gary was good friends with your sister, friendships are _not_ easily severed and their friendship is no different. You're going to have to let it go, hon – and stop kicking my table!" she added as Anna kicked the leg once more. "_Honestly_, I don't know how Gary puts up with you at times!"

"Will you stop talking about Gary?"

"Anna… You came over here because you wanted to talk about Gary and now that I'm talking about him, you want me to stop? You make no sense," she paused as her daughter glared at her again and sighed when Anna's eyes narrowed at the sound of the front door opening and closing. "Don't take your anger out on your sister, please; it's the last thing she needs, she's been going through a hard time lately."

"And I've never been through hard times?" Anna snapped.

"Your sister was always there for you when you needed her, Anna, whether you realize it or not. She may have said a lot of out-of-line things when she's been particularly fired up, but those times are past."

Anna stayed silent as she saw Rachael walk past the kitchen and disappear up the stairs to go to her bedroom. "What should I do about Gary?"

Nicole couldn't help but smile slightly as she poured two glasses of white wine; there was no doubt that one thing was constantly on her daughter's mind. "I see we're back onto Gary now," she replied lightly as she placed a glass in front of Anna, who downed hers in two large gulps. "You need to decide for yourself what to do about him; it's your relationship. Just bear in mind how much he loves you, there's no denying the way that boy looks at you… You two are definitely going to give me a bunch of grandchildren one day."

"Ma, for the love of all things metal – enough with the grandchildren!"

"Well, there's no getting around it with the way you two fool around… It's only a matter of time."

"Mom… I just don't know if I'm ready to forgive him for that just yet. He knows how much it bothers me that he's friends with her."

"If it bothers you so much, think of how torn _Gary_ must be. Give it a few days, sweetie, he'll see that there's nothing to be worried about with Rachael and this whole thing will blow over."

Anna merely sighed at the thought of once more giving Gary more time; he always had to complicate things and it drove her insane despite the love she felt for him. Sometimes she wondered if she had made the right choice back in October when she confronted him about their relationship, but then there were times when they were together and everything seemed perfect in the world and a simple touch from her boyfriend could force away all of the negativity she felt in her life. Upstairs, someone felt very differently.

--- --- ---

Rachael crawled into bed and curled into a ball beneath the pink covers of her bed as she had been doing so often in the past several months. Running into Gary and Anna in the mall had taken its toll on her for the day and she could barely deal with it. It may not have been obvious to a lot of other people but Gary had been her best friend by far and losing that friendship all because of her sister had sparked a sort of rage in her that often boiled up unexpectedly.

Seeing him today had been different from the other times she had seen him since he had moved home. He was the Gary she had remembered; calm and collected but ever worried about those close to him… and yet, still with Anna.

It wasn't her fault that Gary had chosen her older twin; after all, Anna had that long hair that the boy loved so much, Anna played the contemporary instruments and musical styling that he enjoyed while she herself couldn't, Anna was fun loving and outgoing whenever she was with Gary while Rachael was simply too closed off for that. She constantly worried about what people would think of her and it had turned her into a hardened bitch, for lack of a more appropriate term that she could come up with. Now the thickened skin that she had developed was peeling away and she found herself to be lost without it.

With it, she could ignore the harsh comments her so-called friends would make, she could put a rather shaky childhood behind her, and she could dislike her sister without feeling remorse.

Without it, she had to face the fact that she had killed the true friendships she'd had, she had to confront the jealousy she felt over her sister, and worst of all, she had to admit that she was alone in this internal struggle.

Pulling her knees closer to her chest, she let the tears come, after all, they reminded her that she was human. They broke her out of the numb state she often found herself in whenever she was awake. She took little pride in the fact that she needed no blade to remind her that she could still feel physical pain. The miniscule amount of pride did little to prevent her from quietly weeping.

--- --- ---

He kept forgetting that the days were getting longer as the spring season took over the landscape that had appeared during the winter months. Gary was a bit surprised as he glanced out the bedroom window to see that it was still light outside. His fingers slowly slid up and down the neck of the cello before him, pausing to tap unconsciously along the strings near the middle of the ebony fingerboard, since May had left his room earlier, he had resorted to immersing himself in something that seemed to give him more sanity than anything else – music. He hadn't played the cello in over a month now, having been focusing more on guitar lately now that Andrew was living in the house, and his hands had eagerly traced out the melodies of classical composers and heavy musicians alike.

He was rather anxious without Anna there; it just didn't feel right without her in the house these days and the soothing affect music was having on his nerves was beginning to wear off. With a groan he stood from the piano bench in his bedroom and leaned the cello against the wall before stretching. He had to admit that he had no idea what to do about Anna until her anger towards him abated and with that in mind, he meandered across the room to where the bathing suit he had bought with Anna that afternoon was laying on his dresser. His girlfriend had of course been the one to pick it out, being the one to drag him along in the first place.

With little else to do he slowly peeled off his sweatshirt and jeans, stripping nude before pulling on the black and red trunks. The last time he had been swimming in at least the past year had been in October the day before Halloween when he had seen Anna slip downstairs for her early-morning dip as he had lain awake in bed. He felt a strangely overwhelming desire to do so now as he had seen Andrew and Tracey downstairs by the pool with Chelsea a short while earlier from his window. Perhaps swimming for a little while would clear his head and allow him to think straight after the troubling events of the day. Normally, in a situation such as this, when music did little to soothe his nerves, he would resort to painting as the concentration required for it took his mind off of everything else in the world. Unfortunately supplies for that had run out in December after painting the music room and had never been replaced. With nothing else to do, he headed downstairs and outside.

May and Bella exchanged surprised glances as Gary wordlessly moved past them on the porch, heading across the lawn to the pool area where Tracey and Andrew were hanging out with Chris. The pool was empty, the surface of the water perfectly flat and clear without anyone in it. He dove in without second thought or hesitation, glad that the water was for once warm as he relished the way it slid over his skin as he swam towards the surface. Taking a deep breath, he slid below the surface once more, lazily making his way towards the wall opposite him.

He wasn't sure how long he had been in the water when he finally sat on the steps and gazed across the lawn as the sun began setting. He felt surprisingly calmer as he distantly heard Andrew laughing about something on the porch. Sighing quietly, Gary turned his attention to his arms; they had been aching earlier in the day when he had arrived home but that had dulled as he had calmed. Glancing over the vivid scars, he felt only a small amount of pride in the fact that he had finally made it six months without cutting himself. It was a larger achievement than he admitted to himself. Though he knew how important it was, he purposely downplayed the significance, mentally making it a small achievement that constantly needed more work. If he did that, he felt, his drive to succeed would prevent him from returning to the blade. That was how he saw it at least… Thoughts about cutting himself were becoming rarer, as was the feeling that he needed to do it.

"They don't bother me, you know."

Gary glanced up towards the source of the voice and frowned. "What?"

Kate smiled and kicked off her sandals before sitting on the edge of the pool and put her feet in the water. "Your scars," she explained with her gaze directed across the water's surface rather than at her friend. "It used to bother me a lot to see them when you first started wearing short sleeves but now they don't bother me."

"And why is that?" Gary asked as he slid back into the water and stood before her, resting his forearms on her legs and watching her facial expression carefully.

She shrugged slightly in response and met his eyes with an easy smile. "I guess because they're a part of you," she said after a moment. She raised a hand and pushed several strands of hair away from Gary's face. "I've always liked your long hair though; it's pretty."

Gary laughed softly and rested his head on his arms, which were still folded on Kate's lap. "I've gotten that a lot actually," he informed her with an amused smirk as he raised his head again. "What about the piercings?"

Kate pretended to think for a moment, tapping a finger against her chin as she did so. "Hmm, I'm not so sure about that – hey!" she broke off with a small shriek as Gary splashed her. "I was kidding! The eyebrow and the tongue are fine but I'm glad you got rid of the nose ring."

"I didn't wear it that often anyways."

"Why did you get it in the first place?"

Gary shrugged, thinking about his answer for a short moment before resting his arms on Kate's legs once more. "Same reason I got the others really; a fit of teenage rebellion," he replied with a small smile. "I don't know honestly… I guess part of me wanted to fit in with my friends and another part just wanted to piss off Grandpa and Alex… And then part of me liked them too – the tongue especially; it has its perks."

Kate rolled her eyes and swatted playfully at his shoulder. "Pervert," she teased lightly. "Why did you do it to fit in though? You never care about that sort of stuff."

"I guess everyone does at some point in time."

At that they fell into a comfortable silence, both too lost in their own thoughts to say much else until Gary finally sighed pushed away from Kate to climb out of the water. Kate gave him a confused look as she watched him dry off with a towel that had been left on one of the chairs on the patio. "What are you doing?"

"Going to Anna's; I've had enough with this."

She watched him head off to the back door and resisted the urge to roll her eyes when she turned her gaze back towards the pool. "Of course," she muttered as she stared across the lawn.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

I'm very curious as to what you guys thought about everything going on with Rachael – please let me know what you think! I really need to put in more Andrew/Tracey stuff and I'm hoping to do that a bit more soon; any ideas are totally welcome!

Kasandra – thanks for the review!


	53. Chapter 53: Worries

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 53: Worries

Gary sighed as he walked down the dark road towards Anna's house. It was a fairly dark night with the moon concealed by an overcast sky, the road was lit only by Umbreon's bright rings as she walked only a few paces ahead of her trainer. The night seemed to reflect Gary's fairly downcast mood and did little to improve it. Umbreon looked back at him with a curious glance; easily recognizing this as another one of his unhappy moods, she paused and waited for him to catch up. She couldn't quite understand what was going on; she recognized this as the way to Anna's house but her trainer's attitude confused her thoroughly – he was usually always happy to see the girl. This was just completely abnormal.

Gary absentmindedly patted Umbreon on the head as he caught up with her, too caught up in his thoughts to do much else as they approached the long winding driveway which lead to a large vaguely-Victorian styled house that was familiar to them. It was quite a bit smaller than the mansion Gary was used to living in, about half of the size of the house without the lab, but still rather large and indicative of a well-off family. A few short moments later and they were climbing the stone steps to the large porch. He paused at the door, he could hear the piano playing in the living room beyond the foyer and he had to wonder for a moment which sibling to try talking to first. That particular speculation dissipated from his mind quickly – his priority was not that particularly difficult to figure out. He had to appease Anna and soften her grudge against her sister before he could talk to Rachael. Doing it in the reverse order… Well, it would only create even more trouble and tension that Gary was simply not willing to deal with.

With a groan, he rang the doorbell and hoped that someone other than Rachael would answer the door. Beyond the door, the piano stopped playing and he could clearly hear the girls' mother calling for one of them to answer the door. Anna's voice distantly replied to the request with a comment likely to be something along the lines of "get it yourself." Gary was tempted to ring again when he heard footsteps approaching. The door was flung open to reveal a slightly-harried looking brunette woman who smiled when she saw Gary and Umbreon.

"Hey, Nicole," Gary greeted quietly, suddenly having second thoughts concerning coming to see Anna so soon after such a massive argument.

Nicole gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before stepping away from the door to allow him inside. "I feel bad for you, sweetie; your hand is going to be getting a workout this week, that's for sure."

"That's reassuring," Gary replied dryly as he closed the door behind himself and his pokemon. "You always know exactly what to say."

She smiled in response as they stood in the foyer. "I have to hand it to you, Gary – no one else puts up with Anna the way you do. She's a hell of a lot more lucky than she realizes."

"You know Anna… I take it she's home?" he added as a burst of loud music came from the second floor.

Nicole grimaced and pursed her lips before turning to the stairs. "Ann! Good lord, she's going to put me in an early grave…"

"At least she's stopped playing Slayer when she gets pissed off," Gary offered with a small smile. "Not that Behemoth's vocals are much better."

She turned back to him and gave Gary a small smirk. "I think you need to raid her cd collection and replace them all with eighties metal; if she listened to Iron Maiden half as much as you do, I would be ecstatic!"

Gary stared at her for a moment before blinking in confusion. "You like Maiden?"

Nicole laughed and shook her head with a grin. "Oh, Gary, you know so little about your own future mother-in-law," she teased as Gary blushed slightly. "You think I was never young? Monica and I used to be concert buddies back in college – Cinnabar Uni. We were the only ones in our sorority that liked metal. It's about time Alex grew a spine and proposed to her!"

"Ooo-kay… It's obvious that you and Anna are related. Do you think it's safe for me to go up there or should I wait a few more hours?"

"It should be safe, seeing as you brought Umbreon along for protection. Though I would recommend not mentioning Rachael; there's really nothing to worry about with her, Gary. Worrying about her is only going to cause issues between you and Anna."

Gary frowned as he glanced in the direction of the living room where he had heard the piano playing earlier. "You _do_ know why I'm worried about her, don't you?"

"Yes, I do; but this is Rachael. Just go talk to Anna, the sooner you two get past this, the better."

"I guess so…" Gary agreed though it didn't quell his concern in any way. He talked to Nicole for a few more minutes before heading upstairs, leaving Umbreon in the kitchen with her so he could track down Anna. It wasn't particularly difficult to find her; Gary needed only to follow the sound of her stereo belting out the band that he disliked. He knocked loudly on the door and hoped that she had heard it before pushing open the door and entering the room to find Anna lying on her stomach on her bed with her head resting on her folded arms. "Anna?"

"Go away," she replied flatly, her voice muffled by the pillow beneath her arms.

"You know that's not going to happen," he said softly, slowly approaching the queen sized bed. "How often do I actually listen?" Anna remained silent without changing her position at all, not even when Gary kneeled next to the rather low bed and gently shook her arm. "Come on, Anna, this is ridiculous," he continued gently. "We've never fought this badly before."

"I guess there's a first time for everything."

Gary sighed and rested his head against the mattress for a moment before speaking again. "I know I wasn't exactly the nicest to you earlier but you weren't any better… Anna, we can't keep blowing up at each other whenever one of us gets annoyed about something that the other person did. It's not good."

"It's not good for you to be more worried about my sister than you are of me," Anna said, finally turning her head to look at him.

"I'm not more worried about her than I am of you! Nothing matters more to me than you, you should know this by now. You know me better than that… What's actually bothering you; the possibility of me being friends with Rachael or something between us?" Gary couldn't help being baffled by what he perceived as a total overreaction to everything going on.

Anna turned her head away from him to stare out the window, not wanting to say what was coming to her mind. She had immediately noticed that he was wearing long sleeves in the warm weather and though she was concerned about it, she found herself feeling a bit sick of dealing with this sort of thing from Gary. He had been getting better but then there were times when she would catch him gazing at his arms or running his fingers over the scars with an unreadable expression… It was times like those that she wondered if it would ever be possible for him to full heal. She wondered exactly how much of this she could take.

"You're wearing long sleeves again," she finally spoke up after a few minutes of silence had passed between them.

Gary smiled slightly, though he knew she couldn't see it with her head turned in the opposite direction. He thought of telling her that he hadn't resorted to cutting himself but reconsidered and tugged the hoodie over his head and tossed it to the floor. His t-shirt left his forearms bare but after a brief moment of consideration, he pulled that over his head as well, figuring that it would be best to show her that he had not resorted to finding a new place on his body to mutilate. He stood and walked over to the other side of the bed so that he could kneel in front of Anna. "You shouldn't jump to conclusions, babe," he said with a smile as he held out his arms for her to see.

At first, Anna hardly glanced over them but then did a double take and let her eyes slowly move up his arms, inspecting the scars closely for new ones. "There's nothing new," she observed.

"I told you that you shouldn't jump to conclusions. Is that one of the reasons you're being so difficult?"

Anna sat up and met his eyes solemnly, as though she wasn't entirely sure of what to say. "Gary, it's just that… things have changed a lot in the past few months and they've changed really fast. Sometimes it kind of scares me," she admitted. "Sometimes I just wonder if you're mature enough or if you _will_ be mature enough for us to… I don't know, take this relationship further." Her gaze fell to the floor as she spoke quietly and slowly. "I love you; I guess I'm just scared of this not working out."

Gary stood and gazed down at her for a minute while she continued to stare at the carpeted floor before moving away from the bed to stand at the window. Outside, the moon was shining more brightly than before as the clouds had begun to clear. It was actually quite nice out, he realized dimly; a night that would be great for simply hanging out on the porch for a long while. He shook his head distractedly and forced his mind back to what Anna had just told him.

"I'm scared too, Anna," he admitted softly. "It would be insane for us not to be! Hell, you saw how terrified I was of just telling you that I love you; think of how it was for me when you suddenly put me on the spot when you made me choose whether or not to date you!" Gary gave a shaky laugh and ran a hand through his hair as he finally turned away from the window and approached the bed again. "I think everyone in a relationship gets scared… Anna, if you keep worrying about this then it's going to ruin the relationship. I don't want that to happen; I finally stopped worrying about it and look how much better it's gotten since then! Maybe you just need to do the same thing."

"I don't know. Maybe we just need some time away from each other; we've been living together since we started dating, maybe that was just too soon for us," Anna suggested quietly as she slowly traced the embroidery on her comforter.

Gary sighed softly and sank on to the bed next to her. "You're probably right," he agreed. "But, Anna, if we're going to go further with this, then I need to know that you're not going to get cold feet and back out at last minute."

Anna glanced up at him with an unreadable expression in her eyes. "Gary… I want to go further – I want to get married and have kids one day! I want –"

"I want that too," Gary interrupted her quickly. He grabbed her hands and met her eyes, silently searching for some sort of reassurance that there wasn't some hidden meaning behind everything that she was saying. "I love you, damn it; can't you see that by now? I want to marry you, I want to have my own place with you, I want to have kids that'll grow up being, hopefully, more sane than us! For god's sake, we've been best friends for almost ten years; we're solid, you know that. Why question that just because we got in an argument? Do you _have_ to keep tormenting yourself over the fact that I was friends with your sister?"

Anna gave him a weak smile. "I'm not tormenting myself," she replied firmly.

"If you say so," Gary shrugged off the comment, not wanting to start yet another fight. "Can we just forget about this?"

"On one condition," Anna began with a small affirmative nod. Gary raised his eyebrows slightly, silently telling her to continue. "Worry about me, not Rachael. Mom's got an eye on her so there's nothing for you to worry about."

Gary frowned at her condition but nodded in spite of himself. "I don't believe you or Nicole but as long as someone's watching out for her… I guess I'll let it go for now. Are we good now?"

"I guess so," Anna agreed somewhat hesitantly as she laid back on the bed once more. "I think I do need some time to myself though, that way I can just… think about stuff."

"And so that this whole thing can blow over," Gary added, knowing that the best way to make up with his girlfriend was to just give her time to find something else to occupy her mind. He figured it shouldn't take _too _long for that this time, considering the way she was constantly being kept busy over the past few months.

"Yeah, that too."

"Okay," Gary stood to leave but paused and looked down at Anna for a moment. "Can I at least have a kiss before I go?" Anna gave him a halfhearted glare before sighing and softening slightly as she stood up as well. Gary couldn't hold back the small smile that crossed his face as she slid her arms around him and rested her hands at the back of his neck. She seemed stiff at first but loosened up slightly as his lips descended on hers, her fingers curled slightly in his hair as his lips parted for her to slip her tongue in. Anna began to pull back slightly but Gary's hands grasped her hips and held her in place, unwilling to break the kiss just yet. She seemed to melt under his touch and kissed him even more fiercely, tangling her hands in his long hair and pressing herself against him, letting his hands on her waist steady her.

Seeming to come to her senses, Anna pulled away breathlessly and scowled up at him for a moment. "Happy now?"

"Not entirely, but it'll do," he replied as he tugged his shirt back on and picked up the hoodie that had been discarded on the floor earlier.

"Good," Anna replied as she dropped back onto her bed. "Because that's all you're getting; I'm still annoyed at you."

"And I'm still confused," Gary muttered under his breath as he headed towards the door. "I'll see you soon, babe."

"Later. Oh, and Gary?" He turned and faced her for a brief moment. "I better not find out that you went and fucked around with Andrew or Tracey, and I sure as hell better not find out that you slept with Chelsea."

It took a lot of effort on Gary's part not to roll his eyes at the comment but he restrained himself and simply nodded. "Bye, Anna," he said somewhat irritably as he closed the door behind him and began making his way to the stairs. "What am I going to do – have a threesome with Andrew and Tracey?" he hissed under his breath in disbelief. "Honestly," he scoffed. "Like Trace would actually go for that, and Andrew already learned his lesson about three-ways…"

Gary paused at the top of the stairs to glance back at Anna's closed bedroom door; her stereo was still blaring through the door but that wasn't what caught his attention. Rachael's door near the stairwell was open and she was lying on her bed, gazing silently up at the ceiling. He hesitated with his hand on the railing, part of him wanting to simply go home only to appease Anna's wishes. Another part of him was curious and worried – he hadn't been able to get the latter emotion out his mind and he found it once more rearing its head when he saw his former friend lying on her bed like that. He bit his lip and turned his gaze to the stairs before him, weighing the consequences of any actions he took.

With a final glance towards Anna's closed door, Gary backed away from the stairs and headed in the direction of Rachael's bedroom. With the way Anna's music was playing so loudly, there was no way she would know about this. What she didn't know wouldn't necessarily hurt her. He tapped gently on the open door and gave Rachael a small smile in greeting when she looked up.

"I figured that was you at the door," she said softly as she settled amongst the covers on her bed.

Gary entered the room and closed the door gently behind him. He hesitated, not knowing what to say or do as her distant response to his appearance had thrown him off somewhat. It hadn't been what he was expecting. "Well, you know me."

Rachael snorted softly as Gary crossed the lush white carpet to stand over her. "Yeah, I do; you'll let Anna drag you to the depths of the abyss just so that she can spit you out and repeat the whole process over again."

"You know she's only like that when she's mad."

"Yes, and you're tempting fate just by being in here. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" she added sardonically, barely noticing the frown that crossed Gary's face at her words.

"We've barely talked since Halloween, aren't I allowed to at least say 'hello' to you?" Gary sat down at the foot of the bed and let his eyes slowly wander over her form, taking in the subtle changes he hadn't noticed in the mall – the chipped polish on her fingernails, which were shorter than normal… Tiny, trivial things which most people wouldn't even notice.

She stayed quiet for a moment as she glanced at the long sleeves of his sweatshirt. "Did you cut yourself again?"

"No."

A strange, unreadable expression crossed her face and disappeared as suddenly as it had come. "Good for you," she said softly, the tone in her quiet voice leaving Gary even more confused than he had already been. Her eyes flickered away from him and settled on the far wall, she looked uncomfortable as she swallowed hard before speaking again. "I didn't mean what I said on Halloween."

"About Anna cutting?" She nodded slowly and closed her eyes with a small sigh. "Rach-"

"No, Gary," she cut him off before he could continue. "I was jealous and angry and I just threw out whatever I could think of at Anna. I didn't realize – I didn't think that you, of all people, did it too..." Her eyes skimmed over his arms again, lingering at his wrists where she had seen the most vivid scars. "Don't see how we managed to miss that one though; it was pretty obvious now that I think about it." A strange, mirthless grin spread across her face as she boldly met his eyes. "It's amazing the things people can miss, isn't it? Especially the people close to you. Sometimes I think the people closest to us are the most clueless about what's actually on with us."

Gary felt a slight chill go through him at her words spoken in a quiet yet cold tone. She was starting to unnerve him now. "Rachael, what are you talking about?"

She brushed the question off with a small wave of her hand which, Gary noticed, seemed to shake slightly. "I'm just being philosophical; don't worry yourself, sweetie."

"Don't worry? Rachael –"

"Stop," Rachael snapped at him suddenly as she sat up and met his eyes again. "Don't screw up your relationship with Anna because I said something that got your panties in a twist."

Gary stared at her in confusion for a moment, a frown furrowing his brow as his eyes narrowed slightly. The snap was uncharacteristic; she had always been cool and collected, even during arguments, even when she was trying to bait her sister with insults. This was vastly different from the norm for her. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it when the music down the hall suddenly shut off and the door to Anna's bedroom opened and closed, her footsteps echoed through the hallway and then down the stairs while Gary and Rachael held each other's gazes. The air in the room was tense when Rachael spoke again after Anna's footsteps had faded.

"It's probably time for you to go, you wouldn't want her to get mad at you again," she advised softly.

Gary nodded and stood up. "This conversation isn't over yet, Rach," he informed her solemnly.

"There's nothing more to talk about, Gary." He frowned as he silently walked to the door, his mind spinning as he tried in vain to process what had just happened. "By the way," her voice stopped him at the door when he was about to open it. "I never did thank you for always being there for me, even though you were always so focused on Anna. You're probably the only person who did that." Gary turned back to her to respond but she simply shook her head and gestured for him to leave. "See you, Gary."

"Right… See you around, Rach. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"You're going to want to leave before my sister finds out that you're up here; she'll probably castrate you for it."

Recognizing defeat, Gary nodded slightly and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him. He stood in the hallway for a few seconds, simply thinking, everything that had happened all day running through his head rapidly. Realizing that Rachael was right, he headed towards the stairs and quickly descended them, knowing that there was no way for Anna to not realize that he had not yet left. Heading into the kitchen to say goodbye to Nicole and to retrieve Umbreon, he paused in the doorway when he found Anna and Nicole talking, Anna obviously irritated as she scratched Umbreon behind the ears with a dark expression. She looked up at him the instant she felt his presence and crossed her arms over her chest, shooting him a venomous glare.

"What have you been doing?"

"I had to use the bathroom," he quickly lied, knowing that she most likely recognized this as untruthful.

Anna stalked across the tiled floor and pushed past him in the door way with a scowl. "I'm not that fucking stupid and you know it."

"Anna!"

Gary glanced at Nicole before turning his gaze to Anna and then guiltily to the floor as he apologized quietly. She scoffed in response and headed back upstairs, her footsteps echoing loudly as she furiously made her way back to the lair that was her bedroom.

"I'm really screwing this up," Gary said when she had disappeared beyond the top of the stairs. Hearing the slight despair to his voice, Umbreon leaned against his legs, nudging his hand with her nose. She whined softly as he absently patted her head.

"Just give it a few days, you know how she is," Nicole reminded him.

A small groan escaped Gary as he nodded in reply; right now, all he wanted to do was to go home and go to sleep. The day had certainly not been a good one and he could only hope that things would get better quickly.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Snailsgomoo – thanks! I can totally understand where you're coming from; finals have been killer this semester! I'm glad to hear you felt that way about the whole Rachael thing – it makes me proud! Lol, thanks as always.


	54. Chapter 54: Unexpected Part 1

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 54: Unexpected Part 1

May was laughing when Gary entered her bedroom and lay down on his stomach on the blue couch near the windows. She barely glanced over at him as she leaned against her dresser, talking on her phone to someone whom he presumed to be one of her friends based on her giggling.

"He's actually in my room right now… Yeah, he's skulking… Yep… No, not Andrew, surprisingly… Anna – who else?" Curious, Gary sat up and rested his arms on the back of the couch; she was probably talking to Alex, he figured. May glanced over at him and smiled as she spoke again. "No, he didn't; I'm proud of him. Grandpa was really happy… Well, I've been _telling_ Alex that but… Exactly. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear about it either way." Gary frowned and tilted his head to the side. If she wasn't talking to Alex than who was on the other line? Perhaps Monica; she was the only other person he could think of.

She caught his eye suddenly and giggled. "No, I'm not laughing at you! I'm laughing at my brother… He's trying to figure out who I'm talking to, it's pretty cute, actually."

Gary snorted and shook his head. "Not exactly what I was going for," he informed his sister who stuck her tongue out at him.

"That _was_ modest for him, wasn't it?" she asked whoever she was talking to, a small smirk curving her lips as her eyes glittered mirthfully in Gary's direction. "Aw, but… Okay, I'll talk to you soon… Oh, hey – you want to talk to Chris?" Gary frowned again; why would Monica want to talk to Chris? "Well, he _is_ your best friend."

"Are you talking to Damien?"

May moved the phone away from her mouth and shot him a glare. "Shut up – not you! Gary! He finally figured it out… Yeah, I know, he isn't the brightest –"

"Hey!"

"Ok, I'll tell him… Bye!" She hung up the phone and tossed it on to her desk while humming quietly.

Gary's frown deepened as he watched his sister continue humming while she peered into the mirror over her vanity and fixed her hair with a sweet smile on her face. He hadn't expected her to be talking to one of his friends, though Damien wasn't exactly the most surprising person for her to talk to. The two siblings had actually known him for many years before Gary moved to Pastoria because of Alex and Monica's relationship, it wasn't until Gary had stayed in Pastoria for school that the boys became friends and it wasn't until recently that May had become friends with him. "What were you doing talking to Damien?" he asked curiously. He scowled when she didn't respond. "May? Hey – earth to May!"

May finally turned to face him with her lips pursed slightly as she often did whenever he annoyed her. "I'm allowed to be social, Gary," she replied crisply.

"I wasn't implying otherwise; I was just wondering." Gary lay back down on the couch with a small groan when she once more didn't respond. "You two have been talking a lot lately," he observed calmly as he crossed his arms behind his head.

May smiled in his general direction and crossed the room to sit on the window seat facing him. "Damien told me to tell you that you're a pain in the ass." Gary laughed quietly and rolled his eyes at the comment, not at all surprised to hear that. "Does it bother you that I'm talking to one of your friends, you little brat?"

Gary shook his head. "Why would it bother me? You and Damien have always gotten along; it's just kind of weird to see you two suddenly become best friends."

"Best friends?" May echoed with a short laugh. "I wouldn't go quite that far, Gary. We're just good friends." She shrugged and laughed again, flashing a grin at her brother.

"I think my head might explode. Why don't you just sleep with him and get it over with?"

May's smile was quickly replaced with a strange expression as though she were contemplating what Gary had just said. "He's like an older brother to you, Gary; wouldn't that bother you?"

"Chris is the older brother; Damien's more like the really cool best friend of the older brother. And I was joking about sleeping with him."

Her thoughtful expression faltered and was replaced with a cross between a frown and a tiny scowl. She had hoped for a moment that her brother was being serious and actually wouldn't care if a relationship with one of his friends went somewhat beyond that of innocent but that didn't seem to be the case. She had, as Gary had pointed out, always gotten along well with Damien and, after talking with Anna a few months prior, her interest in the boy had spiked. Sure, they had spoken and hung out a lot when everyone had come for Gary's birthday, and they had certainly flirted a bit then. They had flirted even more during the time she spent in Pastoria after Christmas and had started talking regularly after that, but it wasn't until Anna had boldly suggested something less chaste than flirtation that she really thought about him in a way other than friendly.

Since she had gotten to know Damien better, she had realized that he bore similarities to the males closest to her; Gary, Alex, and even her grandfather. He was a bit sarcastic, though not to the extent of her brother; he, like Alex, played some guitar as well as drums like Chris, but didn't make music one of his priorities like Gary, despite a natural talent. He was somewhat successful at a young age as Alex and her grandfather had both been, having graduated high school a year early and quickly making his way through college to earn a degree in sociology while obtaining a well-paying job at a radio station that he enjoyed greatly. May couldn't help but appreciate the fact that he didn't work in the sciences like any of the other three and was even happier about the fact that his degree was in a science that didn't involve a laboratory of any sort. As much as she enjoyed working in the lab and helping her grandfather, she tended to grow bored rather quickly with hearing so many large words and dealing with so many fragile pieces of equipment – and that wasn't even including the work with the animals! She knew she would eventually get sick of bandaging injured paws, stitching up wounds, and drawing blood; not to mention dodging stings, bites, scratches, and even the occasional Flamethrower or Water Gun. How wonderful would it be to have a man in her life that found those things to be dull and uninteresting! Granted, he did like pouring over books way more than Gary, Alex, or even Professor Oak did; but she could deal with that, especially since Damien seemed to have a vast interest in anthropology, which was a subject she found to be somewhat interesting.

He was nicer than her brother, less scatter-brained and eccentric than her grandfather, and more uninvolved than Alex could ever manage to be. _And_ he was one of her brother's few friends with short hair, even if it was dyed in a way that was reminiscent of a style Anna had sported a year or so ago. She, unlike Bella and Anna, wasn't partial to long hair on boys; although she had to admit that the long locks looked good on her brother with his high cheekbones and bright eyes, and it looked downright sexy on Chris with the way it fell in disarrayed waves, and, over her lifetime, she had grown used to it on Alex and couldn't picture him without it.

She certainly hoped Gary wouldn't be stubborn with this issue but she wasn't about to bring it up anymore with the ways his nerves were likely to be severely frayed after fighting with his girlfriend. Monica had slyly suggested that they become closer but Alex and the professor both seemed clueless to this developing crush that May harbored.

"You're spacing out again," Gary's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She raised her eyes to his and held his gaze for a moment, trying to think of a way to get off of a subject that had the potential to be dangerous.

"Where have you been for the past hour or so?" she asked finally.

His shoulders seemed to droop a bit, even laying down, when question passed his sister's lips. "Anna's."

"I take it you guys didn't make up?"

"We kind of did… then she got pissed at me again."

At the sad tone of his voice, May stood and walked over to the couch to sit down next to him. "What happened?" she asked softly, resting a hand on his back as she did so.

With a small sigh, Gary told her everything that had happened while he was gone – the conversation with Anna in her bedroom, Rachael's strange behavior, and then the final encounter with Anna in the kitchen. He felt almost a sense of despair as he told May everything that had happened with Anna and May could definitely sense how much the situation was tearing her brother up. The confidence he had been showing in the recent months was waning as he spoke and the evident happiness he had been feeling recently was fading as well, leaving him strained and even a bit vulnerable. May couldn't help but feel sympathy towards her brother, having dealt with the twin girls' inability to get along nearly as much as he had in the fast several years, even more so than he had while he lived in Pastoria and she remained in Pallet.

She smiled understandingly when he finally stopped talking and hugged him sweetly. "I don't know what to tell you; you're just going to have to decide for yourself whether or not it's worth worrying over Rachael. I see where you're coming from, but let's face it, your relationship with Anna is more important to you than Rachael is. It doesn't matter how you look at it, that's just how it is."

"That's not making this any easier."

I'm sorry, Gary, but this is something you have to figure out on your own."

"Yeah," he agreed, slowly standing up to leave the room for the comfort of his own bed. "But it doesn't mean I have to like it at all. Night, May."

--- --- ---

Andrew sighed as he lay back down on the dark carpet in his friend's bedroom, playing one of Gary's guitars absentmindedly. A few days had passed since Gary and Anna's argument and they had yet to make up still; Anna was still staying at her mother's house while Gary seemed to grow more anxious and antsy by the day. This particular day was going pretty lousy – it was cold out and thunderstorms had been rolling across Johto and into Kanto all day. They were unable to train because of the weather and there was little to do in the lab since the puppies were now about two months old and Chris was apprehensive about milking the venomous snake pokemon with the way the weather was upsetting the animals. On top of that, Tracey and Chelsey had driven to New Bark Town in the Johto region to pick up something from Professor Elm's lab. He was certainly not thrilled with the idea of his boyfriend driving through this weather.

The hours were passing slowly despite the way weeks seemed to fly by at top speed. The repetitive melody coming from the direction of the piano was not helping time go by any faster no matter how much he kept sitting up to glare at Gary from across the room. Andrew finally set the guitar down and sat up with a groan.

"Gary! What the hell? You've been playing Bed of Razors and Ever Dream for the past half hour!"

Gary's hands paused over the keys briefly before he turned to his annoyed friend. "Have I?"

"Yes! Why are you so obsessed with those two songs today?"

"I'm not obsessed… I've just been thinking…"

Andrew groaned again and raked a hand through his hair in an irritated fashion. "I thought you said you were going to tone that down a bit?"

Gary nodded slowly. He could understand Andrew's mild irritation at this, after all it was a bit of a return to his tendency to over-think things; though he had to think that this situation was not one of his moments of over-thinking. "I did; I'm just kind of worried."

"Anna's sister still?" Andrew asked as he reached for the guitar once more. Gary nodded once more. "If it's bothering you so much then maybe you should talk to her."

"I did. It didn't work out so well," Gary reminded him. He had told him the day after it had happened when Andrew came to his room and nearly dragged him out of bed because he slept so much later than he was supposed to on a day when they were working in the lab. That had been on Monday, it was now Wednesday.

"Then try again," Andrew replied simply with a small shrug.

"I don't think Anna would like that very much."

Andrew frowned as his fingers slid over the fret board. There was a slight tone to Gary's voice that he couldn't quite understand and, as much as he liked Anna, he couldn't see why Gary was allowing his fear of Anna's reaction to override his concern for the other girl who had apparently been a close friend for many years. "Maybe. It all comes down to you, man. If you're that worried, then talk to her – she _is_ Anna's sister, I'm sure Anna cares enough to oversee you talking to her."

Gary turned back to the keyboard, gazing down at the black and white keys for a moment before glancing up to see the music book that was incidentally open to a Vivaldi song he vividly recalled playing with Rachael sometime in August. Though the book was open to the exact middle of the piece, he could tell exactly which one it was – Winter, the second movement; the _largo_, the slower portion of the song after the key had switched from F to C minor. His eyes moved across the page, following the way the melody swept through the key, moving up and down throughout the scale, going through marked crescendos and successive decrescendos as the piece went on. He eyes the added natural notes canceling out the flat notes of the key, leading to miniature and short-lived key changes that he could almost hear in his mind.

Closing his eyes, he could mentally hear the way Rachael's violin had played the high staccato notes later in the song so many months ago. He remembered the way she had smiled and laughed quietly when he played the same part on one of his guitars; he had impressed her that day by swiftly transposing the notes to fit his instrument without even looking at the book for reference. At the time, he had passed it off with a shrug and a smirk but, secretly, he himself had been pretty surprised as well.

With his eyes still closed, his fingers fell to the keys once more, carefully running over them to feel out specific pitches. Subconsciously driven by the key signature he had seen on the music staves in the book before him, his hands traced out a familiar melody in the same key.

Andrew rolled and slumped against the bed behind him. "For the love of Odin, Gary! Stop!" While Gary ignored the frustrated growl, one of the three dozing puppies on the bed perked up before realizing that the blonde boy hadn't been referring to him. The door opened suddenly and Andrew looked up at their newest arrival in surprise while Gary stayed focused on the piano in front of him.

"Hey, boys; so much for training, huh? God, Gary, don't you ever play anything other than Nightwish these days?"

Gary turned suddenly from the piano to see Alex leaning against the wall next to the door with a small smile playing across his lips.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Gary asked, at a loss for something better to say.

"Hey, Alex," Andrew greeted cheerfully, having finally gotten over his shock enough to respond. "I feel bad for you having to drive in this weather."

Alex crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed next to the pups. "Thanks, Andrew, it definitely wasn't a fun drive; I'll tell you that much. As far as you go, Gary – what type of greeting is that?"

"A surprised one," Gary shot back.

"Well, at least you're honest," Alex muttered. "I told you back in December that I would be around. The semester's already more than half-done; I have to help Chris out for him to graduate on time." He paused and glanced between the two teenagers, Andrew still sitting on the floor with the guitar now perched on his lap and a slightly-curious look to him, Gary barely paying attention as his eyes focused on the sheet music atop the piano. Something seemed off; there was a sort of palpable tension to the air that wasn't lost on him. "What's going on with you two?" he asked casually.

Andrew glanced over at Gary when he didn't respond and frowned before turning to look up at Alex. "Gary's worried."

A strange expression crossed over Alex's face for a moment and he closed his eyes briefly before responding. "And what exactly is the worrisome issue this time, Gary?"

"Rachael," both boys answered flatly. Gary didn't so much as glance up while Andrew went back to absentmindedly fingering the strings of the instrument in his lap.

"Rachael?" Alex echoed, thoroughly confused now. "Did she and Anna get in another fight?" He frowned when Gary shook his head. "Then what is it?"

Once again, Gary didn't answer though he did raise his eyes from the book in front of him only to gaze out the window next to the piano. Andrew sighed and stopped playing, answering for his obviously distracted friend. "Gary's afraid she's going to do something drastic… Like try to kill herself."

"I never said that," Gary finally spoke up.

Alex scoffed quietly. "Kill herself? She wouldn't risk wrinkling her clothes." He and Andrew exchanged a slightly-worried glance when Gary looked down at his hands that were resting in his lap. They both knew that it was unusual for him to be so quiet as of late. It just went to show how worried he was. "You're probably just over-thinking it, Gary," Alex said after a moment.

Gary frowned and clenched his fists, suddenly annoyed by the way everyone kept putting off his concern for a habit he had mostly given up two months prior. Could no one understand why he was worried? He couldn't see why Andrew of all people passed it off as the result of his overactive mind – didn't he understand firsthand the severity of this? And then there was Alex; hadn't he already seen the danger in overlooking warning signs? Didn't he learn anything from learning of Gary's own attempt on his life so many months ago?

Not only was he being met with skepticism but he was quite torn. Rachael had been a close friend for years. She was Anna's twin sister for heaven's sake! But that was the catch; she was Anna's sister. The girl who had been cruel enough to turn the strong and independent woman that Anna usually was into a sobbing wreck who couldn't even begin to calm down until Gary had arrived. The girl who had manipulated and used one of his closest friends from childhood, one of the sweetest people he had ever met in his life. Talking to her would be betraying Anna and Kate… Hadn't he already betrayed Kate enough in the past? And he wasn't about to risk Anna's ire yet again.

But wouldn't ignoring this be the ultimate betrayal to the friend that Rachael had been? His head was starting to spin with questions of betrayal…

He sighed and stood up from the piano, unable to sit there with that sheet music in front of him like that. He felt almost lost… When Alex had appeared suddenly, Gary had hoped briefly that maybe he could help him decide what to do but the chance of that happening appeared to be going out the window.

--- --- ---

May was unusually bored for a Wednesday afternoon – she was usually busy around the lab but today's weather left her with nothing to do. Her grandfather had told her that she could do whatever she wanted for the rest of the day and she had resorted to lying down in her room since Bella, Michelle, and Kate were all at work while Anna was still avoiding the house and Gary. She hated rainy days for this exact reason; they always seemed to occur on days when her friends were too busy to hang out with her. On top of that, her brother was in a strange mood, Tracey and Chelsey were out, Chris and Shawn were busy in the lab, Ash was out doing something with his pokemon, and Andrew was, of course, being his usual self and spending every minute hanging around Gary. She was bored, lonely, and… well, bored.

That was what had led her to where she was, lounging on the couch in the living room with her nose buried in an outdated copy of Cosmopolitan while occasionally glancing up to admire the muscular actors on the television as Troy played in the background. Her growlithe puppy, Freya, was curled up next to her, cowering at the bursts of thunder sounding outside the windows. With the television on, she couldn't hear the door leading to the lab open and close, nor could she hear footsteps enter the room and approach the couch she was lying on. The cushions on the back of the couch shifted suddenly as someone rested their arms on the back of the couch and peered down at her.

"Hey, pretty girl."

May looked up in surprise and sat up quickly, flattening her hair in an attempt to make it look more presentable. "What are you doing here?" She couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice as she jumped up and rushed around to the back of the couch to greet the guest.

"Alex was coming down to check up on Chris' work so I figured I would come along too," Damien replied, returning the friendly hug that May gave him.

"But what are you doing about work?" May sat back down next to the puppy as a particularly brilliant streak of lightning lit up the sky as was followed by perhaps the loudest bit of thunder she had heard all day.

Damien sat down next to her and smiled in mild amusement as Freya crawled into her lap. "Liana's covering for me, she needs the extra hours to pay for her bridesmaid's dress for Charlotte's wedding in May," he explained. "This must be Freya," he observed as he reached over to scratch her behind the ears.

"Yep, she's scared of her own shadow." May laughed softly as the growlithe began licking Damien's hand.

"She's pretty cute; it's fitting that she's yours."

May blushed slightly and glanced up from the puppy to meet his dark green eyes. "Of course; there's no way she could've been my brother's."

Damien gave a small laugh and shook his head. "That's because Gary's a whiney brat."

"Don't let him hear you say that, he'll beat you up!"

He laughed again and flexed his muscles. "I'd love to see him try," he teased as May giggled again. "How _is_ the runt; he and Anna make up yet?"

May stopped laughing and sobered quickly as she looked down at Freya and absentmindedly pet her head. "He's okay, I guess. She's been avoiding him so he's kind of stressing out over it."

Damien leaned back against the cushions with his arm across the back of the couch, only a few inches away from where her shoulder was as she sat facing him. An impulsive part of her wanted to lean against the cushions as well, if only to feel his hand against her skin. It had been a long time since she had felt the touch of any male other than the friends or family and it was making her feel a bit reckless; she mentally warned herself to stay far away from any alcoholic drinks while Damien was around on this particular visit of Alex's.

"It sounds like you're pretty stressed over it as well."

If May had wanted to feel his hand on her a moment before than that feeling was greatly intensified by the comment that was spoken thoughtfully and quietly. And was it just her, or did his voice sound lower than it had a moment ago? She shook her head and forced the thoughts away. She figured she must have been spending too much time with her brother and his best friend; they must have been wearing off on her, to make her this … desperate for someone's touch. She hated to even think that the term "desperate" applied to her.

"I guess I am," she admitted a bit grudgingly. "But he's my baby brother; I need to look after him."

Damien shook his head slightly at her words. "He's eighteen; I don't think he really needs another person looking after him –"

"But you_ know _how he is!"

"I do, but he's old enough to look after himself. Maybe you need to look after yourself instead."

"Maybe I'm waiting for someone else to do that for me," May shot back with a sly smile.

"Well, if that's the case… Then you're pretty damn clever to do that; you know men can't resist a damsel in distress."

A grin spread across May's face at that. "I guess I must be a quadruple threat then because this damsel in distress is smart, funny, and a good cook," she teased with a playful wink.

Damien opened his mouth to respond but closed it as loud footsteps echoed down the stairs along with Andrew's voice talking loudly to someone else. The two twenty-year-olds exchanged smiles and quickly moved further away from each other as Andrew and Alex appeared in the doorway with Gary following them quietly.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Wow, I had to drag out my old notes from my music class almost two years ago for that part about the Vivaldi piece. Vivaldi's Winter is one of my favorite pieces of classical music, second perhaps to Bach's Invention 13 or Mozart's Requiem. Trans-Siberian Orchestra's combination of Mozart's Requiem and Beethoven's Fifth Symphony is pretty freaking sweet too… Who says metalheads can't like classical? : )

The two songs that Andrew complained about Gary playing were Nightwish's Ever Dream from their Century Child album and Children of Bodom's Bed of Razors from their Hatebreeder album. The song that Alex walks in on (the one that annoys Andrew) after Gary looks at the Vivaldi piece is Nightwish's She Is My Sin from their _amazing_ Wishmaster album.

Ok, ok, and I admit I was drooling over Orlando Bloom in Troy when I wrote the beginning of that scene with May and Damien…

I apologize in advance if the next chapter is a bit late, I've been having a hard time getting inspiration for this story, especially while I've been working on _Secrets Told_.


	55. Chapter 55: Distracted

**Beyond The Walls**

A bit of excitement to kick off the summer…

Chapter 55: Distracted

Friday morning was not entirely welcomed. The sun pouring in through the open curtains, both in front of the window and around the bed, was far brighter than it should have been, all things considered. The knocking on the bedroom door was incessant and annoying beyond all belief, yet Gary ignored it to the best of his abilities as he drowsily pulled one of the pillows over his head with a groan. Sleep had not been abundant this week, particularly not the previous night. He found it difficult to slip off into slumber with the bed empty other than himself, Umbreon, and now Loki, who was old enough to be on his own but was incredibly attached to Gary. Nothing seemed to help – not running, not music, not playing with the pokemon, not even hanging out in the den with his friends, and the fact that Anna was still avoiding him certainly did not help out at all. She was still staying with her mother and her sister and, according to Michelle, was still annoyed with him over everything with Rachael, though Anna had yet to get into any fights with her twin.

Umbreon's sudden loud bark shook him out of his thoughts as Loki cuddled up next to him while he tried in vain to fall asleep once more; whoever was knocking at the door was intent on rousing him from his hiding place amongst the covers and it was apparently irritating the dark canine. Gary instinctively knew that it wasn't Andrew, as the blonde's method of waking him, though far less annoying, was more direct. It couldn't have been May or Chelsea since both girls were far more likely to come in and wake him, as was Chris. It could've been either Ash or Shawn – they both seemed to enjoy annoying him in any way – but it was doubtful since Gary knew they both preferred to not start the day off on bad terms with him.

The door opened and Gary heard a familiar irked sigh. "Gary, get up," Alex called from the doorway.

"I_ am _up," he growled in annoyance as he burrowed deeper under the covers.

"Then get out of bed!"

"You have three minutes to get ready or else I'm going running without you," Chelsea's voice came from down the hall.

"Then go," Gary muttered under his breath as he heard Alex leave the doorway without closing the door behind him. The covers shifted as Umbreon stood from her spot at the foot of the bed and stretched languidly; her master may not be willing to get up for their morning run, but she certainly wasn't about to miss out on the crisp morning air. He fell into a shallow sleep again as Umbreon leapt off of the bed and headed out of the room to join Chelsea for her morning run with Ash.

All in all, it was a typical weekday morning in the mansion – someone was yelling at someone else to get out of bed, somebody was being yelled at to get ready… Andrew's stereo was playing loudly on the other side of the wall separating their rooms while the running water from his shower could be heard through the wall as well. Footsteps and voices constantly could be heard in the hallway, along with the barks and yelps of hungry growlithe puppies and the excited chirps from Tracey's marril, who seemed to enjoy mornings even more than his trainer. Everyone was getting ready except Gary.

An hour passed easily before Umbreon came running back into the room, frisky from running around the reserve; Gary got up with little complaint when she woke him with a small nip to the wrist, knowing that he would need to head down to the lab in a short while. He dragged himself out of bed, dressed slowly and then flopped back down onto his bed to wait for someone to force him out of his room. The last thing he felt like doing was going down to the lab.

"Hey," Andrew's voice forced him to open his eyes once again, not realizing that he had fallen asleep. "It's supposed to rain later so we're going to train now before the weather gets bad."

"I think I'll skip training for today."

Andrew scoffed and marched into the room to grab Gary's arm and forcefully drag him off of the bed. "Not happening, you lazy cunt. You promised Ash you would help him so you'll get your sorry ass out of bed and help him. The competition's in less than two months, you know."

"I know that, I just don't feel like it today."

"That's just because you're being a pussy – if this whole thing with Anna and her sister is bothering you so much then go talk to them! Get the fuck out of here!" he demanded as he dragged Gary out of the room and towards the stairs with Loki and Umbreon both following them.

--- --- ---

Tracey glanced up from the computer he was working when he felt the presence of someone standing behind him. "Training looked pretty rough this morning," he commented when his glance confirmed that Andrew was the person leaning against the counter that was several feet behind him. He had watched a large portion of the training through the windows of the lab and had seen far more arguing than battling, to the point where he had to wonder if Alex's presence was having an adverse affect on everyone's attitudes despite the increased cheerfulness exhibited by both May and Chris.

"It would have gone fine if Chelsea hadn't started off by bitching at Gary for not running with her and Ash; that completely killed it," Andrew replied with a small sigh.

Tracey nodded in response as he scanned the research summary he had just typed, he had noticed that Chelsea and Gary both seemed to be in foul moods as they battled – there was a certain tenseness in the way they called out their pokemon and commanded the different attacks that wasn't easy to miss. On top of that, their battles had been particularly vicious: Gary had ruthlessly taken out one pokemon after another while Chelsea used an uncharacteristic all-out offense technique. Ash had surprisingly backed out of a battle with Gary when he saw the way his rival's houndoom had brutalized Chelsea's victreebel, which, of course, led to another argument. "She picked the wrong day to start with Gary, didn't she?" He saved the document on his computer and flipped off the monitor before standing and walking over to Andrew so that he could slip his arms around the taller boy's waist.

"I guess you could say that. I wish Anna would just stop freaking out about her sister because it's really getting kind of tough to deal with Gary – he's either totally distracted or flat out nasty… At least, that's how he's been today." He smiled despite his concern for his friend and returned Tracey's hug as he nuzzled his throat. "You must be tired," he observed from the way his boyfriend was quietly cuddling against him.

"It's that stupid eevee research," Tracey muttered in response. For the past two weeks, he had been poring over stacks of articles on eevee reproduction, summarizing it as he went; it was tedious and left him exhausted with constant headaches that were soothed by gentle head massages from Andrew. "My eyes are crossing from staring at the computer screen all morning."

Andrew's embrace tightened a bit as he pressed a small kiss against Tracey's cheek. "Take a break for a bit; you've been working really hard all week, there's no reason for you to not take it easy today. I mean it, Trace," he added as Tracey sighed softly. "Come on, we've got to work with the snakes today; why don't you go upstairs and take a nap or something? It's not like you'll miss anything."

"I have to stay down here in case anything happens – you and Chris have already been bitten, Andrew. It's only a matter of time before Gary or Chelsea get bit."

Andrew rolled his eyes and ran his hands through Tracey's short hair as he spoke again. "And when that does happen, May or Professor Oak will give them their shot and send them on their merry little way. No big deal."

Tracey shook his head at Andrew's words; the arbok bites were far more serious than his words implied and he couldn't help but be just a bit paranoid about those long fangs being anywhere near his boyfriend or close friends. "I have to be here just in case, Andrew," he replied firmly. He glanced up at the blonde and noticed how tired he appeared with his messy hair and the slight shadows beneath his eyes – the thing that especially stood out was how particularly calm he was compared to usual. "I think you're the one that needs a break, you look exhausted!"

"I'm fine, Tracey," Andrew replied with a grin. "Remember, I went to a school that's known for driving teenagers to emotional breakdowns and suicide attempts – I can handle anything!" He flexed his muscles playfully with a small growl that Tracey snorted at.

"You're too scrawny for that," he reminded him, laughing at the way Andrew pouted and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Now I need a kiss." Tracey smiled at the whine and cupped Andrew's face in his hands while he pressed a gentle kiss against his lips.

Andrew slipped his arms around Tracey's waist again and slowly melted into the kiss, after putting up with everyone's arguments this morning, the kiss was incredibly welcome. Having Tracey pressed against his chest as their lips gently massaged each others felt nearly heavenly and he could hardly think of anything else as long as it lasted. He was hesitant to pull away but they both knew that they had work to do and the lab certainly wasn't the best place to hold a make out session. The two boys held gazes for a moment longer, not entirely willing to part completely as Andrew saw Chris lead in a cross-looking Chelsea and an equally irritated Gary. A glance over at the other desks showed that Shawn was already there while another glance over at the professor's office found May, Alex, and Professor Oak conversing over what appeared to be several reports spread across the large wooden desk. Andrew groaned and gave Tracey a grim smile; now that everyone was present, work had begun for the day and, unfortunately for him, today's work included milking snakes and typing reports. He had a distinct feeling that it was going to be a long day.

--- --- ---

Gary was quiet as he set up the equipment for the day's work, Alex was talking to him about something but, for the life of him, he couldn't recall what exactly that something was; he had simply been nodding in response to everything he had said. His mind was elsewhere as he lined up the glass containers that he had grown so used to setting up for Chris in the past couple of months, it had been a week since the fight with Anna – or nearly a week anyway. He had tried talking to her on Tuesday and ended up giving up on speaking to her for the next few days when his attempts were met by a stubborn attitude. All he had done was make a comment about her sister once being his friend; was that _really_ so bad? Granted, he did talk to Rachael behind Anna's back but was that really enough of a reason for her to treat him like this?

He had always tried to be the best boyfriend he could be with her; he showered her with attention every chance he got, he made it clear that he was in love with her, and he wasn't afraid to spoil her for absolutely no reason other than simply because he could. He wasn't whiney around her, he wasn't overly sensitive, he dealt with her moods as they came – there just wasn't a reason for this. Of course he occasionally snapped back at her but he was never mean to her, at least not in any way other than playful and Anna knew him well enough to know when he was just playing around with her. He would never dare to hurt her intentionally and he certainly would never hit her, aside from the playful swats that she always countered more than twice as hard. He never tried keeping her from doing what she wanted, even if it meant that she hung out with friends that he knew she had been intimate with – Gary trusted her fully and didn't worry about her being unfaithful in anyway.

So why was Anna doing this, he wondered as he secured the thin rubber sheets to the top of the containers without even noticed that Alex had stopped talking.

"Are you even listening to me, Gary?" Alex asked as he watched Gary pull out more equipment from one of the cabinets below the counter.

"Of course I am," Gary muttered in response as he counted out enough pipettes for the containers.

"Then what did I just say?"

Gary sighed and set the handful of narrow glass tubes on the counter next to the other materials. This was something Alex had always done whenever he knew that Gary wasn't listening and it annoyed Gary for obvious reasons; the last thing he felt like doing was playing these games with him right now, especially not when he had other things on his mind and when he had other things to do. "Fine, I wasn't listening," he snapped. "I'm a little busy at the moment."

"You're setting up glassware! How difficult is that?" Alex asked while he watched Gary count out vials and line them up in the test tube holder on the counter. "Still skulking over everything with Anna?"

"I'm not skulking."

"You should just go talk to her."

"We had an agreement, Alex," Gary reminded him, walking over to one of the other counters to sit down while Alex watched on, looking as though he wanted to say more. "And I've already tried talking to her twice; so did Michelle and May – even Bella tried talking to her. It's all Anna now."

Alex sighed and rested his arms on the counter next to Gary, several things running through his head at once but not saying any of them so as to not set Gary off. The last thing he wanted to do was create a riff between them by interfering once more. "I was trying to talk to you about the competition in May. You guys have to come up to Pastoria the week after the competition is over, don't you? For Charlotte's wedding? It's coming up pretty quickly."

Gary frowned; he hadn't really given any thought to the Pokemon League competition that he had agreed to compete in with Ash, Chelsea, and Andrew, despite how much they had been training for it. Perhaps it was the fact that he had fallen a bit into his older, more depressed way of thinking, but something about Alex bringing it up made his stomach churn uneasily. Maybe it was the fact that he had suddenly realized that he would be returning to the same place where he had suffered perhaps his worst defeat, but he felt worried about what would happen as a result of the outcomes of the battles he would face there. He would almost certainly be able to walk away from losses with little or no issues, but what would happen if he didn't lose? The chance of that was infinitesimal, especially with how strong of a trainer his former rival had turned out to be, but the chance was still there.

And then what if he had to battle one of his friends at the Indigo Plateau? Sure, he could battle them with no problem in Pallet, but those battles all had a somewhat playful feel to them – most of the time, that was. But what if he was suddenly paired against Andrew? It would be the third serious battle between them as trainers, as they had met and battled twice when traveling through the Kanto region so many years earlier. Would he be able to even view the battle as serious with his best friend and ex-boyfriend across the field from him as his opponent? He knew Andrew's team inside and out by now, he knew Andrew's battling techniques, and the same was true in the reverse. It was true with the entire group by this point in time after battling for several hours a day, at least five days a week for over two months; they all had learned each other's styles and it would give an unfair advantage to them in battle. But at the same time, they would each know the others' weaknesses, so perhaps that would negate the advantage? Either way, his concerns were not quelled but he forced them out of his mind to the best of his abilities.

Then something else came to his mind: a memory that had often replayed itself in his mind over the years that had passed since he first arrived at the Indigo Plateau as a twelve-year-old pokemon trainer. The elated feeling of the first victory – truly a child's happiness – followed by the simple joy of running through the woods with his closest friend – the one person he would trust with his deepest secrets, his heart, his entire life. Then that strange and fairly unfamiliar feeling that surged through his body as Anna playfully pounced on him in the darkening forest; the way his breath caught in his throat as her pale hazel eyes locked onto his own, the way his heart sped up as he realized she was straddling him, and then the way his stomach knotted in shocking pleasure when their lips connected. It had been perhaps the best moment in his entire life up until that point and at least many months past then; the sudden feeling of ecstasy that filled him when his brain had finally comprehended what had happened was something he doubted he would ever forget.

It would be wonderful to recreate that scene or even create a newer and better memory in the same place where that one had occurred.

Before fighting with Anna, Gary had been having thoughts of furthering the relationship… Perhaps, just maybe… _No._ Gary pushed the train of thought out of his mind with a small shake of the head, thinking about Anna would only distract him even more and today was no day to be distracted, especially not with whose turn it was to physically milk the venom from whatever snake pokemon Chris had on the list for this early afternoon. If he recalled correctly, it was a group of rather mellow seviper but the results of a bite gained by distractedly handling them were severe no matter how mellow the reptiles were.

"Gary?"

He glanced back up at Alex when his voice interrupted his thoughts; he hadn't realized how distracted his thoughts had made him. "What?"

"Spacing out again, weren't you? I just told you that Monica and I were planning on coming down to the Plateau for the competition; Nicole's apparently planning on coming up and she and Monica are going to work on planning the wedding, which could turn out to be pretty interesting actually… Anyway, speaking of weddings: Chris told Damien, who told Monica, who told me, of course, about a certain conversation you guys had pretty recently about you and Anna. Maybe you should try making up with her –"

"Alex, give it a _fucking_ rest already! Now isn't the time for this, I have work to do," Gary snapped as he stood up and stalked over to where Andrew was standing behind Tracey's desk as he watched his boyfriend continue to work on his computer.

Alex watched him go with a small frown and shook his head as he watched Ash and Chelsea discuss something concerning their pokemon. "I swear," he muttered under his breath. "That boy is going to make up with her before I leave on Sunday."

It was nearly half an hour before Ash finally fetched the group of pokemon for Chris and the other two boys, during that time Gary watched somewhat reluctantly as Chelsea checked over the syringes and other materials in the first aid station of the lab, his eyes flicking nervously over the long needles that she handled with ease. He had noticed in recent weeks that she had been setting up the station differently, presumably to make it easier and faster to administer treatment, considering the way nearly everyone in the lab had sustained some sort of injury by now. Chris had gotten a rather painful bite from an ekans that had managed to worm its way out of his grip, Ash had gotten a long gash from the horn of a tauros which needed several stitches, even Tracey had gotten stung by a nidorina, while Chelsea had somehow managed to elicit a painful burn from one of the young charmander that the professor had gotten in for the new trainers in town. Those were the most severe injuries too; it seemed like there wasn't a day that went by when someone didn't need a wound to be cleaned and bandaged or something of the sort.

Andrew came over after a few minutes and began writing in the log book, a task which had been permanently delegated to him after he had been bit by three different snakes. As Chris quickly looked over the setup of equipment, Gary grudgingly approached the lab bench and leaned against it with a groan; though never a fan of snakes, this particular project seemed to fry his nerves every time he helped out. Near misses were constant and he was continuously hearing Chris or his grandfather scold him for going about his part in a manner that was more dangerous than the preferred methodology. He rather enjoyed working in the lab, especially surrounded by friends as he was, but he couldn't stand this part of the work. Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Gary recognized the number that Chris read off to Andrew and frowned – it was the group of malicious arbok that contained the snake who had managed to bite both Andrew and Chris on separate occasions, a far cry from the group he had been expecting.

He had, of course, milked this same group twice before without sustaining a bite so why would this time be any different? The third time was always the charm, wasn't it? He was unsure if _he_ was the one who should be doing the milking today – no matter how hard he tried, he seemed to have a difficult time concentrating even the most menial tasks. Milking a highly venomous snake was anything but simple and it required the highest level on concentration one could possibly give.

Still, he wasn't one to back out of something he had agreed to and he had certainly agreed to help Chris out with this, no one could help the fact that his turn to do the milking had happened to fall on today.

The first snake came out of its pokeball with a vehement hiss but was surprisingly calm, which confused Gary slightly as he let the snake's venom drain into the container and noticed that the markings on the hood identified this one as the most malevolent one the boys had to work with. As the long fangs slipped from the rubber cover on the container, the snake suddenly squirmed in Gary's grasp and nearly escaped. Chris quickly grabbed the glass container before the purple cobra could knock it over with its thrashing tail, giving a small gasp of pain as the tail wrapped around his wrist suddenly. Out of the corner of his eye, Gary saw Ash grab the empty pokeball from the counter and return the pokemon as the two boys struggled with it; he hadn't even noticed the boy was in the lab when they started. As Chelsea looked over Chris' wrist and the blooming bruises on it, Andrew and Gary exchanged nervous glances.

"I don't have a good feeling about this," Andrew muttered after Chelsea finished her inspection of Chris' arm.

Gary nodded slowly as he watched Chris removed the venom from the collection container a bit more slowly than usual. He noticed that Chelsea had moved closer to the first aid station and the thought of the needles in the cabinet sent a slight shiver through him, he shook his head and turned away from the lab bench to look out the windows of the wall opposite him. For some reason, his phobia of needles was particularly strong today, to the point where the only piercing he had in was the tongue bar which he rarely removed in the first place. Outside the windows the sky had darkened considerably since they had finished training for the day – it had been a good idea to train earlier than usual, he thought as he heard a low rumble of thunder.

"Let's get this over with before that storm comes in," Chris replied to Andrew's mutter as he capped the vial of newly-collected venom and reached for the next pokeball.

The next snake was more vicious than the last, hissing and striking as Gary dodged the lunges until he finally managed to grasp it securely behind the head. Another roll of thunder came from outside as the arbok began furiously biting the rubber top, sending fresh spurts of venom into the clear container, and Gary anxiously adjusted his grip as the creature wriggled in agitation.

"Focus, Gary," Chris reprimanded quietly as the snake nearly escaped.

"Then don't distract me," Gary snapped in reply when the other boy quickly recalled it.

Chelsea glanced across the room to where Ash was standing somewhat closer to the group than usual, obviously eager to help out in any way he could, as he had already done by jumping in only minutes prior without being told. She frowned, not liking the way things were going so far – it was only the second snake and they had already had problems with both, along with an injury, however mild Chris' bruises were. "Maybe we should finish this later on, guys, after the storm passes," she spoke up more timidly than usual.

Andrew nodded in agreement, something that rarely occurred between the two teens, but Gary and Chris both shook their heads, determined to get the job over with as soon as they could. "We're not dragging this out just because you're scared, Chels," Gary shot at her, still glaring at Chris for the scold he had received.

"There are only five, Chelsea; we've already finished two of them. Don't worry about it so much," Chris calmly told her, glancing up to meet Gary's frustrated gaze with his an even look that clearly told him to knock it off.

The next two snakes were far less quarrelsome than the previous two and allowed the four young researchers to relax a bit while they took their time to carefully complete their task as the thunder outside grew louder and closer. The final arbok rose from the floor hissing with its hood unsurprisingly open fully yet, much like the first one, allowed Gary to grasp it with little difficulty and began to obediently drain the venom from its fangs. Gary gave a small sigh of relief, pleased to see that the task was nearly over.

The loudest clap of thunder yet suddenly erupted from outside the building, causing everyone to jump slightly and, in that moment of surprise, Gary distractedly slackened his grip. Startled by the loud noise and enabled by the loosened hold on its body, the snake twisted away from the collection container, tearing the rubber cover as it did so, and latched onto the irritating creature that had summoned it from its pokeball. The pain erupting from the bite was extreme and sudden, and it was all Gary could do not to give a scream of agony, instead giving a sharp yelp as the fangs drove deep into his forearm.

Everything seemed to freeze for a moment before turning into a confusing jumble of activity; Chelsea quickly made her way to the first aid cabinet and threw the door open, Ash turned and ran to get Professor Oak, and Andrew and Chris grabbed at the glassware lining the counter, moving what they could as the snake began thrashing. Tracey and Shawn immediately jumped up at the pained yelp but held back, waiting for someone to recall the attacking pokemon before approaching and enraging it even more. May appeared in the doorway and ran forward to help, only to be cut off by a swift black and yellow blur.

"Umbreon – no!" The canine didn't heed May's cry as she leapt at the animal attacking her trainer and sank her teeth into the animal's tail with a snarl. Gary screamed in pain as the arbok's fangs tore through his flesh, releasing a flow of blood that he quickly moved to stem with his hand; the snake began thrashing in the grasp of the dog and swung to snap at anything else around it, managing to momentarily latch onto Chelsea's leg before Chris was able to locate the empty pokeball.

"Shit," Chris cursed loudly, swiftly recalling the thrashing snake as he turned to where Damien had just entered the room. "Dame – get May!"

"I'm already here!" She crossed the room quickly and began pulling supplies out of the cabinet that Chelsea had been standing at before collapsing to the floor in pain from her own bite.

Before, the infuriated animal had sunk its fangs into her leg, Chelsea had managed to grab one of the bottles of antivenin and one of the syringes she had prepared earlier. More worried about her bleeding friend than about her own bite, she measured out the right dosage with trembling hands and passed the needle to May, who made quick work of injecting the antidote before rushing to her brother's side as Chris came over to help Chelsea bandage her calf where the bite had occurred.

Gary barely noticed Andrew push back one of the growlithes who had come forward out of curiosity over the commotion that had been created while hissing an order at Shawn and Damien to get the animals out of the lab. He was too busy focusing on his attempts to stem the sudden gushes of blood that had erupted from the twin lacerations caused by the snake's fangs; sheer pain was shooting throughout his entire arm, both from the deep tears and from the venom that was entering his blood. He was kneeling on the floor but couldn't quite remember dropping to his knees during the attack; Tracey was suddenly in front of him, pressing a towel against the wounds and holding his arm higher to help slow the bleeding. He couldn't quite focus on what was going on around him as slight panic gripped him, he knew the way arbok venom worked – the anticoagulants that kept the blood flowing from the bite, the chemicals that caused the heart rate to increase, the necrotizing effect the venom often had on tissues – not to mention the bacteria harbored in a snake's mouth; was it thirty-four known strains of dangerous microorganisms in an arboks mouth? Alex had said it once in his microbiology class and even Chris had mentioned it before they started working on this project but damned if he could remember now.

Somebody slipped their form between himself and the cabinets he was in front of and placed their hands on his shoulders, holding him somewhat still as he writhed in pain. "Calm down," Andrew's voice, softer yet more commanding than usual, spoke up against his hair. "You'll make it worse."

Gary only nodded, unable to speak as May and Tracey worked on slowing the blood flow from his arm, something that didn't seem to be working so well. Closing his eyes and trying to calm his breathing, he leaned back against Andrew; the pain was simply blinding, there was no real way to describe it. It was worse than any cut he had ever given himself, if the substantial amount of blood wasn't enough to illustrate that fact; the crimson liquid was pouring out him, despite the way both May and Tracey rushed to close the jagged wounds with swift stitches. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since the arbok had bit down on his arm but he was sure it had been at least several minutes, yet he was already growing lightheaded from blood loss. Something sharp pierced his arm away from where he knew the gashes to be; he opened his eyes and groaned when he saw the needle that his grandfather had just used on him.

"I hate needles," he complained weakly as Andrew's grip on his shoulders tightened slightly in a reassuring manner – not that he was particularly reassured in this situation.

"Alex already called for an ambulance," Professor Oak informed him, gently pushing long strands of hair out of Gary's face. "You're losing a lot of blood."

"I noticed."

Despite the antivenin injection his grandfather had given him, Gary could feel himself growing weaker even after May and Tracey had completely stitched the wounds as best as they could with the amount of bleeding. Blood was still oozing from them through the stitches although the flow had slowed and May was now holding a new towel against the cuts to help stem the flow. He was feeling more dizzy than before, somewhat nauseous as he slumped against Andrew, too weak to writhe against the pain that still gripped him. He was beginning to feel chilled and he could see May exchanging worried glances with the professor and Andrew both; he could feel his breathing becoming a bit more shallow as a faint ringing filled his ears.

The ringing grew louder before turning into a roar and then there was darkness.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

A hard chapter to write – I'm curious about thoughts on the way the story is going in general along with opinions on the whole snake bite scene. Please review!

Next chapter should be up very soon.


	56. Chapter 56: News

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 56: News

Andrew had always hated hospitals for fairly obvious reasons, the same reasons most people hated them. Over time, though, his hatred of the place had grown far stronger – a visit to one of them never yielded good results and those visits were never for good reasons. He was certainly no stranger to a hospital, whether it was a waiting room or an actual patient's room; as a child, he had been accident prone and several of the nurses at the Pastoria General Hospital had grown to know him well with the amount of stitches and x-rays he had needed and the visits had become more serious, though less frequent, as he grew older.

Once he became a teenager, after he had reluctantly returned home from traveling through Kanto, he spent nearly a year in and out of the hospital. Stitches were frequent because of the careless way he constantly cut himself, antibiotics were common because he rarely took care of his cuts and stitches, often leading to bad infections. His drug use had led to two overdoses and then there were those three times he had woken up in a hospital bed to face the terrified tears of his sister, the disgusted glare of his brother, and the disappointed faces of his grandparents. His first time, like Gary's, had been a combination of medications and alcohol; the second time, twin slashes across his wrists; and the final time, a combination of the first two. The suicide attempts themselves didn't shake him at all, looking back on them, but the hospital did – that antiseptic smell, the endless flow of doctors and nurses, the needles, the tests. Everything.

His own visits, however, had never shaken him as badly as the visits made by those close to him; being a fairly watchful and rather concerned elder brother, he had been there with both Nik and Abby several times. He had been there through Nik's broken leg and three bouts of alcohol poisoning. He had been there for every last stitch and cast Abby had needed – many times, considering she was accident prone in the same way he was. He could vividly recall the particularly bad time that she had broken her arm and the doctor had needed to re-break it; that had been, by far the worst, as far as family went. She had screamed and cried and damn near crushed the bones in his right hand to a fine powder with the way she had clutched it; outwardly he had stayed calm and strong but once she had gone to sleep after being given a high dosage of painkillers, he had snuck off to a secluded bathroom and cut his arm deeply.

The last two times he had been in a hospital had been for the same exact person he was there for now. Of course, the first time – the time he had gone along with Alex when he had literally dragged Gary in for what everyone except his stubborn best friend had suspected to be appendicitis – had been far less alarming than the second time. Sitting by his best friend's – then boyfriend's – side while knowing that he could have possibly done something to prevent what had happened had been one of his worst experiences. He could still clearly recall the shame he had seen in Gary's eyes when he finally came to, along with the way his friend had pulled his knees to his chest and began sobbing. With the amount of alcohol that they had all drank, it had been easy to convince even the doctors that it was simply alcohol poisoning; if it weren't for the way Gary had been acting for months prior, even Chris and Chelsea would have fallen for it. But there was no way Andrew could fall for it, he had seen the teenager break down too many times, he had bandaged too many cuts, and he had certainly recognized that hollow expression in Gary's eyes.

And now… He was standing in the hallway, staring at the closed door in the hospital near the outskirts of Viridian City with his arms tightly crossed across his chest, his hands shaking badly as he awaited news. The professor and Chelsea had both ridden in the ambulance, Chelsea obviously because of her own bite that needed to be checked over by a doctor, while he had ridden with Alex, Damien, Chris, and May to the hospital. Damien, being ever calm and level-headed, had driven Monica's Scion, which Alex had driven from Pastoria on Monday, while everyone else had stayed at the lab to clean up the mess that had been left. When they left, the area had been a disastrous scene of blood and smashed glassware and he was sure that the arbok would die from the wounds Umbreon had given it; not that he felt any pity for it with what it had done to his best friend. He was covered in blood, very little of it being his own; he had tried to wash up the best he could in the bathroom but he couldn't do anything for his stained jeans and t-shirt. He'd had to have his own cuts, caused by the shards of glass left by the equipment that the snake had broken when it began to thrash, looked over and had received a few stitches.

Andrew felt bad for leaving Tracey behind with Shawn and Ash but there hadn't been much choice as the car only held five people. He crossed his arms tighter across his torso and bit his lip, his eyes were stinging and he wanted to simply curl up with Tracey in a warm bed but refused to leave until he knew Gary would be alright. His friend had nearly died with the amount of blood he had lost and the way he had passed out in his arms had terrified him. With a helpless sigh, he turned and walked down the hall to the exit door that led to an outdoor balcony, where he sat down and put his head in his hands.

There was nothing he could do now but wait.

--- --- ---

Damien and Chris both looked up as Alex entered the waiting room looking pale and weary. They had been waiting with May and Andrew while everything was happening but Andrew had disappeared off on his own awhile before while May had been crying nearly nonstop while Damien hugged her and tried to comfort her. Alex had started off in the waiting room with them but had been allowed in the room with Professor Oak sometime later and had then been back and forth between the two rooms that Gary and Chelsea was in; now he was finally headed back to the group of people waiting for news from him.

All three twenty-year-olds looked terrible – May was the worst with blood all over her clothes and a bandage on her leg. She had, as luck would have it, dropped to her knees next to her brother right on top of a piece of glass and sustained a gash of her own that no one had noticed until they were leaving the lab. Alex and Damien had both been in the room with her while a nurse removed the glass shards from her wound but it fortunately was not a severe injury: three stitches, some antibiotics to be safe, and a rather large bandage later found her back in the waiting room. Chris hadn't been quite as lucky with the cuts he had gotten from the shattered glassware, though the total of fourteen stitches to both arms and hands were relatively minor. The wrist that had been constricted by the first snake of the group was x-rayed and looked over by two different doctors before being bandaged, it had been severely bruised and he had been instructed to refrain from moving it too much. After getting antibiotics and painkillers, he too joined May in the waiting room. Damien had fared the best out of all of them since he had stayed out of the way until the snake was no longer a danger and, even then, he had been the one to fetch towels to help with the blood, knowing that there was little else he could do.

Chris quickly stood and met Alex in the middle of the room, nervous about the news but certain that it wasn't going to be as bad as it could be; Alex smiled wanly and led him over to where May was still crying against Damien's chest.

"They're both stable," he declared tiredly. "It looks like that arbok drained most of its venom before it started biting anyone so Chelsea's only having some small issues; she'll probably go home tonight."

"What about Gary?" May asked tearfully, pulling away from Damien to look Alex in the eye.

Alex sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, in that time, May felt herself grow faint and staggered, only to be caught by Damien and Chris before she could fall. "He's alright, May; sit down for a minute before you pass out. Damien, could you go get her something from the vending machine?"

"I'll go get it," Chris interjected as Damien helped the girl into a chair. He felt like he needed to do something, anything to get some of the tension out of his body and someone had to find Andrew.

"Are you alright, May?" Alex asked worriedly after Chris walked away.

"I'm fine; how is my brother?" she snapped irritably in return.

"He's okay for now. He needed a pretty big blood transfusion though – one of the fangs nicked a vein, that's why he was bleeding so much. They redid the stitches to make them neater –"

"How many?" Damien interrupted curiously.

"Thirty something… I don't remember the actual number. The bandage covers his entire forearm, he won't be playing guitar for awhile. _But_ he'll be fine; he'll have to stay here a few days, but he'll be fine."

May nodded, looking immensely relieved by his words but unable to reply.

--- --- ---

It was a bit surprising how empty the hospital was, Chris thought as he picked out snack crackers and a can of apple juice for May. Unlike several of his other friends, he had never been too intimately familiar with a hospital setting, something he was rather grateful for. Unfortunately, he had been within that very setting three times in just over a year, all for the same person, which irked him just a bit. He felt guilty for this particular visit of Gary's since it was because of _his_ project that his younger friend had been injured in the first place, not to mention the fact that he had _known_ that Gary was distracted. Hearing that both of his injured friends were stable had been all that he needed to encourage him to get out of the chair he had been sitting in for the past hour or so but now he found himself wondering about his third former roommate.

Where Andrew had wandered off to was beyond him but he knew that he had to find him in order to let him know that Alex had news regarding the teens; a glance up and down the corridors had shown that Andrew was most likely not in this wing of the hospital. He pulled out his cell phone and glanced at the screen, hoping to find a new message from Bella. He had sent her a text message as soon as the doctors had finished with him and had received a message in return saying that she would be at the hospital as soon as she could, but she had yet to show up.

He wandered down the hallway away from the vending machine, trying to think of where to look for his missing friend when he noticed a glass exit door that apparently led outside to a patio overlooking the visitor's parking lot. Sighing softly, he wondered why he hadn't looked there first – the long pale hair of the lone person sitting on the bench outside was unmistakably identifiable of Andrew. He opened the door and let himself out, careful not to slip on the concrete that was wet from the earlier thunderstorm. It was gloomy out here, he decided, with the shadows cast from the tall building and the dark clouds that still hung in the sky. Everything out here was wet and the warm temperature made the space rather humid.

Andrew was sitting with his back to him, one leg folded under him with his other leg stretched out to brace his foot against the railing in front of the bench he was on. He was slowly turning his cell phone over in his hand, seemingly just to have something to do and Chris had to admit that he was surprised to see the boy without his headphones on as he usually kept his iPod in the pocket of his jeans. A half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew and an open, yet barely touched bag of potato chips were both sitting next to him on the stone bench.

"Hey," Chris spoke up quietly. Andrew didn't respond. "We were wondering where you went off to. Shitty weather, huh?" Andrew snorted softly and raised a hand to wipe his face. "Alex has news about Gary and Chelsea."

Andrew cleared his throat and spoke thickly without looking up. "How is he – they?" He shook his head distractedly. "How are they?"

"They're both stable but I didn't get the details… What about you, are you alright?"

The blonde boy nodded silently and stood after gathering his food; he walked past Chris without saying a word and headed straight back to the waiting room to hear everything from Alex himself.

--- --- ---

May wanted to reply to Alex's news about her brother, but she simply couldn't find words – her relief was simply too great as more tears fell from her eyes. She found her voice a moment later. "Can I see him?"

"Well," Alex frowned. The doctor hadn't said anything about not having visitors but he knew the way the venom worked as well as the doctors and professor Oak did. It was not exactly something one wanted to see a loved one go through. "You could, but I'm not sure how badly you'll want to; he won't be sleeping for long, what with the fever and vomiting and all of those fun effects of arbok venom –"

"But he already got the antivenom, Professor Oak gave it to him before he passed out."

"_Antivenin_," Alex corrected automatically, about to go on when he was interrupted again.

"That's not how it works," May said, turning to face Damien so she could explain. She knew exactly what Alex was talking about. "Arbok venom is much more complex than other venoms; the antivenin only denatures the proteins that mess with the blood and the heart. The body deals with the rest on its own with the fever and everything."

Damien glanced back and forth between the two people; having never really had an interest in science, he was completely confused. "Then why bother with the _antivenin_ in the first place?" he asked, mimicking the way Alex had corrected him a moment prior.

"Because the venom has anticoagulants and stimulants in it – without the antivenin, you would either go into cardiac arrest or bleed out," Alex explained.

"Which is what happened with Gary, er, almost happened, I mean."

"Exactly," May agreed, a tiny smile finally gracing her pale lips. The sound of running footsteps made her peer down the hallway and then leap to her feet when she saw three girls racing towards them. "Bella!"

Bella flung her arms around her best friend as soon as she reached her, Michelle and Kate coming to a stop around them, both asking questions at lightning speed. After a moment of clutching at her friend, May pulled away and held up a hand to calm the girls down.

"I got here as soon as I could, sweetie – my god, you're covered in blood! What happened?"

"Are you alright? Where's Gary?"

Michelle surprisingly didn't ask any more questions and instead placed her hands on Kate's shoulders to calm her down. Without the questions distracting her, May took in the appearance of her friends and realized exactly how much they must have rushed to make it. Bella was still wearing a half-apron around her waist from work at the downtown salon in Pallet, extra clips and scissors still within the pockets of fabric, while her brightly colored name tag was still clipped to her blouse. Kate was still wearing her green apron from working at a coffee shop since her morning classes had let out, the cloth bearing several coffee stains, the cheerful name tag clipped to the apron provided an ironic contrast with her pale face and wide eyes. Michelle was the most calm though May could see her hands shaking badly as she nervously smoothed the material of her soccer shorts; she was still wearing her uniform from practicing with her school's team, though she had removed her shin guards and replaced her cleats with polka dotted flats that she always kept in her car. They looked ridiculous, especially Michelle, but May couldn't have been happier to see them.

"I'm alright, Gary's okay for now – one of the arboks in the lab bit him and Umbreon bit it and it tore his arm open. They to give him how much blood did you say, Alex?"

"I didn't," Alex replied nervously. The last thing he wanted to do was add the alarm by mentioning the amount.

"How much was it then?" May asked.

Not wanting to argue, knowing that the girl could be as stubborn as her brother, Alex sighed in defeat. "Three units of blood," he admitted regretfully.

May's eyes widened while the other three girls exchanged glances. "Is that a lot?" Michelle asked.

"That's a type three hemorrhage," May said softly, remembering the passage on blood loss from one of Chelsea's textbooks that she had skimmed through.

"That's bad, isn't it?"

"If he needed a transfusion then of course it was bad!" Kate spoke up, shooting a small glare at Bella for her question. "They don't just give blood for any cut – the human body only has something like six pints of blood in it! Didn't you ever pay attention in biology?"

"No, I copied May's notes; why would I pay attention?"

Another small smile crossed May's lips as she told the girls everything that had happened and all that Alex had told her. Several minutes had passed when she realized that they were missing a member of their group. "Where's Anna?" she asked suddenly as she finished telling them about her own stitches.

Kate and Bella both frowned deeply while Michelle pursed her lips slightly and glanced up towards the ceiling as she usually did whenever she had forgotten something. "Were we supposed to tell her?" Bella asked in confusion.

"I thought Andrew or Tracey or someone would have told her," Kate spoke up.

Alex snapped his attention back to the group at the latest turn in conversation. "Anna doesn't know about Gary?"

"Apparently not," Michelle replied, once more joining the conversation. "Should we tell her?"

"She needs to know about this – her boyfriend almost died and she has no idea that there's even been an accident! She should be here like the rest of us," he replied in disbelief. How could no one have thought to tell Anna? Sure she hadn't made up with Gary yet, but she deserved to know what was going on with her lover.

Kate lowered her eyes to the floor while Bella met May's eyes uneasily; neither of them wanted to be the one to tell Anna. Michelle sighed after a minute and slipped her car keys out of her pocket. "I'll go tell her in person," she offered reluctantly. "I need a shower anyways; I'm totally covered in mud."

As she spoke, two figures rounded the corner at the end of the hall and Bella ran straight to one of them and immediately began fussing over Chris' bandaged wrist while Andrew wordlessly joined Damien, Alex, and the other four girls. To their surprise, he remained quiet as Alex informed him of what was going on, his only response being a few stiff nods. Startled and worried by Andrew's withdrawn behavior, Alex glanced over the group of young people in front of him before turning his gaze to Damien. "You should all go back to the house; you need to get cleaned up and there's nothing you can really do here anyway."

Chris and Damien both nodded in agreement while Andrew gave no response, but May shook her head resolutely. "I'm staying."

"May, there's nothing you can do," Alex began in a pacifying tone.

"I'm not leaving my brother!"

"May…"

"No."

"At least go home, take a shower, and get something to eat before coming back here." May still looked doubtful as she glared at Alex; he almost had to laugh as her posture and expression could pass as a near perfect imitation of her younger brother. "Umbreon is probably freaking out since she's part of the reason Gary got so badly injured in the first place, seeing you would calm her down. And bringing her back with you might help your brother feel better sooner."

May lowered her eyes to the tiled floor at the mention of her brother and his pokemon; as much as she hated to leave, she knew Alex was right. Umbreon was fiercely protective of and highly attached to her trainer and was certain to be highly anxious while she knew that he was gravely injured. There were only a few people whom the dark canine liked almost as much as Gary and May was at the top of the list, along with Anna, though Andrew and Kate were both rather high on that particular list as well. The more she thought of the pokemon, the more worried she grew for her wellbeing – the creature was comfortable with Tracey but wasn't fond of Ash and was rather indifferent towards Shawn; out of everyone who worked in the lab, those were the only three people there currently and May could only imagine how things were going there.

A small, wicked smile crossed over Michelle's lips while May briefly pondered what she should do. "If you go home, you stop by Anna's all covered in blood and show her what exactly what happened from her being such a bitch this week – I bet that's exactly why Gary got bit –"

"He wouldn't purposely get himself bit just to get back at Anna; you know Gary's not like that!" Kate exclaimed suddenly, whirling to glare at Michelle, who had been standing behind her the whole time.

"That's not what I meant," Michelle snapped back. "He's not stupid enough to do something _that_ idiotic."

"Knock it off! I'm not going to sit here and listen to you two argue over something like that; I'll go home and check on everything and we'll get Anna. You guys don't have to stay here but if you do, then don't bother fighting anywhere near me." She looked over at Damien after glaring at Kate and Michelle for a moment. "Will you drive me?"

Startled by suddenly being included in the conversation, Damien nodded automatically. "Sure." After seeing May cry so much and after holding her and comforting her the way he had for the past few hours, there was little he wouldn't do for her at this junction in time.

--- --- ---

The ride home was uncomfortable and passed mostly in silence with the only sound being that of the radio. In the end, Chris had decided to stay to keep Chelsea company until she was discharged and Bella had stayed with him while Kate went with Michelle in her car to return to Pallet. Professor Oak and Alex had both stayed at the hospital, leaving May, Andrew, and Damien alone for the ride. Andrew's unusual behavior concerned both of his companions but, too wrapped up in her own thoughts, May paid little attention to him while Damien's main focus was the road as night began to fall around them. Despite her distraction from the boy in the backseat, May could sense the glances that Damien kept sending her way. She would occasionally look over and find herself mildly disappointed to be unable to meet his eyes because of his rapt attention to the road before them. Thinking of the way he had let her cry against his chest was leaving her a bit confused – they had been flirting all week and it hadn't exactly been a secret, but did this bring things to a new level? Surely he was just being concerned in the way that friends normally were but she couldn't help questioning it.

The car reached the downtown Pallet and May looked over at Damien once more as they pulled to a stop at a red light; their eyes met in the dim light and May blushed slightly, lowering her eyes to the fabric of the seat she was sitting in. She looked out the window at the local shops and felt a hand close over her own. Turning, she found that the hand belonged to Damien and their eyes met again.

"Hey," he said softly, running his thumb over the back of her hand. "He'll be fine, you know how Gary is." She held his gaze for several long seconds that seemed to stretch on into eternity until a coughing sound came from the back seat of the car; Damien turned to look at Andrew with slight concern. The moment was broken. "You okay?"

Andrew gave a small smirk that was a faint shadow of his usual grin. "Oh, I'm fine; just choking on the sexual tension here, that's all. The light's green, by the way."

May turned a delicate shade of red and returned her gaze to the window while Damien scowled and drove on in silence for several minutes. As they reached the southern edge of the town, May directed him towards Anna's house, to the surprise of both boys in the car with her.

"I thought you were going to take a shower and check on the lab?" Damien asked in confusion as he turned down a curvy road with a few scattered mansions.

"I am; I just need to tell Anna."

He gave May a strange look as she instructed him to stop in front of a Victorian house. "You do realize that you're covered in blood, right? You're going to give the poor girl a heart attack!"

Andrew leaned forward and poked his head between the two front seats. "She just wants to make Anna go through what we went through today – you know: the gore, the anxiety…"

"Then make her watch _Alien_!"

"No go; it's her favorite movie," May spoke up dully. She opened her car door and began the trek up the long driveway leading to the house while the two boys stayed in the car.

"Stubborn, isn't she?" Andrew mused as Damien watched May with a surprised expression on his face.

He shook his head and opened his door to join her. "Determined – Alex and Gary are stubborn," he corrected the blonde teen before closing the door and leaving him alone.

Andrew groaned and leaned back against the back seat once more. "And here I am, by myself, talking to myself… God, I've seen Jurassic Park too many times," he muttered in annoyance as he reluctantly pushed his door open and hurried to catch up with the other two.

--- --- ---

Anna sighed as she reclined on the blue leather couch in her mother's living room as she idly flipped through the channels on the large television. She was bored and had nothing to do; her mother was out at dinner with some friends, her own friends had seemingly disappeared off of the face of the planet for the day, and she hadn't been able to get Gary on the phone when she tried calling him earlier that day. With her guitar and bass over at her boyfriend's house with most of her books, the only thing for her to do was try in vain to find something to watch. Unfortunately, as was the common curse with cable television, there were hundreds of channels and nothing worth watching on any of them. Quiet footsteps sounded but Anna barely glanced up as her sister entered the room; she paid Rachael no attention until she heard that familiar tinkling sound of the piano keys.

"Christ, Rach, knock it off! You're as annoying as Gary!"

"And, yet, you don't complain when he plays," the other girl responded coolly without glancing up.

With a soft curse and a dark mutter, Anna turned back to the tv, pausing momentarily on an episode of Scrubs that Andrew constantly quoted before moving on to a cheesy horror movie that Rachael rolled her eyes at. Amidst the screams from the television both girls distinctly heard the doorbell ring but neither made any move to get up to answer it.

"It's probably for you," Rachael spoke up as she continued playing, remembering how many times the other girls they had grown up with had stopped by to attempt talking sense into Anna.

Cursing vehemently this time, Anna turned off the television with an annoyed flourish of the remote control. As Rachael looked over at her, she swung her legs over the arm of the couch and climbed down, flashing her revealing underwear beneath the miniskirt she wore at her sister.

"So classy," Rachael sneered derisively.

"You're such a fucking prude," Anna hissed.

"You kiss your _beloved_ boyfriend with that mouth?"

"Tell me; are you that prim and proper while Gary fucks you?"

"Just answer the damn door!"

The doorbell rang again and Anna quickened her pace as she headed towards the front door. She impatiently opened the door and froze when she saw May and Damien standing on the porch with Andrew climbing the steps behind them. Opening the door wider, she could see that May's dark skirt and polo shirt that she often wore in the lab were stained with a dark red liquid. She barely noticed the bandage on her friend's leg as she focused on her pale face.

"May! What happened?"

May squared her shoulders and frowned at Anna as the girl led them into the foyer. "Your boyfriend nearly bled to death in the lab this afternoon, that's what happened," she snapped. Anna's face paled dramatically and her eyes grew wide in sudden shock and worry.

"May," Damien breathed, putting a hand on her shoulder to calm her.

"Well, that _is_ what happened," Andrew spoke up thoughtfully as he closed the door behind him. "A bit more blunt than I expected, but that's the basic premise."

Anna led them to the nearest room with seating, which happened to be the kitchen, and dropped shakily into a chair at the table. "What happened in the lab?"

"Umbreon got jealous of Loki and tried to bite Gary's face off for it." May and Damien both gave Andrew exasperated looks while Anna let her rapid heart rate calm a bit; if Andrew was joking, then it couldn't possibly be as bad as it sounded. "What? I've been stressing out about this for the past few hours, I need a good joke!"

Damien rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the girl who glanced back and forth between Andrew and May nervously. With a small sigh, he briefly told Anna what had happened, making sure to tell her that he was okay as he did so. "May needs to shower and check on the lab and I think Andrew needs to lay down for a bit, so we figured we would stop by and tell you what happened so you could go with us when we head back to Viridian."

Anna shot a nervous glance towards the living room; her mother had asked her not to go out anywhere while she was gone. Of course, this was rather important, an idea she was sure Nicole would agree with. She nodded after a minute and stood up again. "I'll get my stuff together and meet you guys at the house. Go ahead and get everything done, I'll be there as soon as I can."

She showed them out a moment later and sighed heavily as she leaned against the front door, covering her face with her hands until the feeling of weakness that was threatening to overwhelm her passed. This was not the time to get emotional, she warned herself. She had to keep her wits so that she could gather up all of the belongings she had brought with her and make her escape without making too much of a scene. As guilty as she felt, she had to stay strong until she saw Gary. She just had to.

As soon as she was sure that she wasn't going to break down in tears, she ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time and nearly tripping on the rug as she headed towards her room. It took her a moment to locate the red backpack she had brought with her; as soon as she found it, she began grabbing the clothes lying around her room from the past week and quickly flung them in. The handful of books she had brought with her were thrown in on top while she frantically searched for the small messenger bag that served as her purse. After quickly checking that she had everything, she pulled on her boots and headed downstairs with both bags in tow.

"Rach, I'm going – tell Mom I'll call her!" She flung open the front door and heard her sister call after her as she stepped out onto the porch.

"Mom said not to go anywhere, Anna! Don't you know how to listen?" Rachael asked snidely as she followed her out.

"Gary's in the hospital, I have to go and I somehow doubt Mom will have a problem with that when she finds out," Anna snapped back, heading down the steps without looking at her sister.

"And what exactly are you going to do there? Hold his hand? He's a big boy, Anna, he doesn't need you there."

Anna whirled around to face Rachael as she followed her down to the driveway. "That's exactly your problem – you don't know what it means to be there for someone. Maybe you would have figured that out by now if you weren't such a stuck up bitch."

Rachael snorted softly and crossed her thin arms over her chest, pausing in front of the porch as she calmly met Anna's eyes. "You say that now, but who was it that ran out on her boyfriend just because he was worried about someone? Sounds a bit like hypocrisy to me –" Her words were suddenly cut off by Anna's hand connecting with her cheek in a powerful slap that silenced her in shock.

"Get back inside, you worthless cunt," Anna hissed as Rachael raised a hand to the red spot where she had just been hit. With a final sneer at her sister, she turned and headed down the driveway, following the road in the familiar path that she had so often followed to her best friend's house. Behind her, she heard the front door slam, the noise echoing along the quiet road as she walked with grim purpose towards her destination.

There was no way her sister was keeping her from getting to Gary's side and she knew her mother would understand. To hell with Rachael, she could sit and mope around the house all she wanted; Anna was done with that, she had done it enough all week as it was. There were more important things in life than petty grudges.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Hmm… Damien and May? I hope this chapter didn't disappoint after the action towards the end of the last one! As always, please review and let me know what you think!

_And…_

I've reposted _Changes_! It's now called _The Challenge_ and it's been rewritten for the most part. It's five chapters long right now; I'm going to try to update it often and it still needs to get caught up with this story. It is Ash's side of this as he prepares for the Pokemon League competition at the Indigo Plateau with Gary, Andrew, and Chelsea; a lot shorter than this, along with less drama, angst, and heavy metal references. Check it out if you're interested.

Snailsgomoo – Thanks so much!

Kasandra – don't worry, I've got plans for Gary and Anna! ;) Thanks for reviewing!


	57. Chapter 57: Waking Up

**Beyond The Walls**

I wanted to do this sooner… but I was busy training for my summer job and working on my other two stories, and I wasn't really sure what to do with Gary and Anna.

Chapter 57: Waking Up

Pain. That was probably the first thing he noticed – his arm felt like it was on fire and he couldn't quite remember why. A few seconds passed and Gary remembered the afternoon's events in the lab: milking the snakes, the thunder that had startled the snake into biting him, Umbreon's interference, and finally May and Tracey rushing to stem his blood loss while he writhed in pain. That certainly explained why his arm was hurting.

A steady beeping noise slowly came to his attention and it took him another few seconds to recognize the sound as a heart monitor. He was in a hospital, apparently, and was slowly coming around from… Was it the unconsciousness caused by blood loss or the sleep that he had fallen into after being in the hospital? His brain seemed to be running slow because of whatever pain medication the doctors had given him but he was starting to remember things now. He could recall coming back to consciousness sometime earlier while at the hospital and he could vaguely remember a nurse saying something to him about getting blood.

A transfusion and something about getting him something for the pain. It was too fuzzy to make out entirely.

Now nearly fully awake, Gary was noticing more about his surroundings even through a haze of medication and with his eyes closed. The pain was in his right arm, the forearm to be specific, but there was a dull ache throughout his entire body and he felt vaguely nauseous and uncomfortably warm. There was another small pain in his left arm, something in his skin; a needle perhaps? An intravenous line, his brain supplied after what felt like a few seconds but could have been an hour for all he knew. As he noticed this, he could hear the slight increase in the tempo of the beeping from the heart monitor. As the beeping sped up slightly, he became aware of voices in the room, at least two of them – Alex and maybe his grandfather. A hand lightly touched his arm and he groaned, his eyes fluttering open before quickly closing again with another groan. The fluorescent lights were far too bright for his eyes to bear at the moment.

"Lights," he complained softly, his throat incredibly dry to the point where he could barely speak.

He could hear the flip of a switch and then his grandfather's voice quietly cutting through the air. "Better now?"

Gary nodded slightly, forcing down another groan as the movement made him slightly dizzy and made his nausea build. He finally opened his eyes to find the room far darker than it had been a moment prior. Forcing himself to first look down at his right arm, he easily found the two puncture wounds near his wrist, the stitched holes giving way to gashes that formed at a slight angle down the length of his forearm for several inches, ending very nearly at his elbow. No wonder he had lost so much blood.

He stared at the stitched wounds for what felt like a long time, briefly wondering why they weren't bandaged. It was interesting to notice the way each of his self-inflicted scars, no matter how pale they now were, intersected these new ones that marred his skin. His eyes burned a bit and he was curious; he had to know now…

He flexed his fingers, each movement sending more pain shooting through his arm but he breathed a soft sigh of relief. He would still be able to play piano at the very least.

"It'll be awhile before you can play with that hand," the professor spoke up again. Apparently he hadn't missed point of the movement.

Gary nodded again, closing his eyes once more. He felt so tired… Despite the nearly overwhelming sleepiness, something dimly reached his attention. "Where is everyone?"

"Chelsea's being discharged right now, Chris is with her and Bella's going to drive them both back to the house. They're fine. May, Andrew, and Damien were here but they went back to the house to wash up and check in on everything. Michelle and Kate stopped by but went back home as well. Everyone else stayed at the lab."

"What about May?" His grandfather's words slowly sank in and he would have rolled his eyes at his own stupidity if he had more energy. "You just said that… Nevermind."

Professor Oak gave a small laugh. "The wheel's turning but the rattata isn't –"

"The rattata is fucking trashed."

"Maybe the rattata should lay off the vodka," Alex spoke up in an amused voice.

Gary would have laughed but the pain in his arm was beginning to increase as he felt more and more uncomfortable. Nausea was building and he felt feverish – not to mention that the incessant beeping from that damned monitor was making his head hurt and only increased the sick feeling he was fighting. A small pained whimper escaped him before he could quell it. A gentle hand rested on his forehead before pulling away after a minute.

"Your fever's starting to spike, that's probably what woke you," Alex told him quietly. "You remember how the venom works, right?"

"Yes," he hissed in response, sincerely hoping that Alex would be quiet so that he could sleep off the worst of the fever before the nausea gave way to uncontrollable vomiting.

--- --- ---

May hesitated before in front of the lab door; the last thing she wanted to do right now was enter that room but she knew she had to. She just hoped the puddle of blood had been cleaned up. She frowned as she eyed the door and was surprised when a pale hand bearing black nail polish opened the door. Andrew met her eyes and shrugged apologetically.

"The anticipation doesn't make it any easier," he explained softly as he led the way into the lab, calling for Tracey as he went.

The lab was cleaner than it had been when they left – the blood and smashed glass had been cleaned up. On closer inspection, it looked as though the entire lab had been cleaned and the result was rather refreshing to behold. Ash was leaning against one of the lab benches, as far away from the snake area as he could get, and looked rather pale while Shawn was working on one of the computers and Tracey was apparently inventorying the medicine cabinets. All three boys looked up as Andrew and May entered the lab; Tracey set his clipboard down on the nearest lab bench and walked over to them, giving May a quick hug before folding himself into the arms of his boyfriend.

May watched Andrew kiss his cheek and bury his face in Tracey's hair for a few seconds before crossing the lab to Shawn and Ash. "Where's Umbreon?" she asked, noticing that the ever present canine was strangely missing. Shawn vaguely gestured to one of the desks while Ash spoke up.

"She's been hiding under Gary's desk since you guys left, she won't eat or anything."

May kneeled down in front of the desk in question and peered under it to find Umbreon cowering under her brother's desk with her nose under her paws as though she were ashamed. She sighed and reached under the desk to pet the pokemon, taking several minutes to coax her out of the hiding place and then taking more time to rub her down and talk soothingly to her. After quite some time, Damien entered the lab and headed over to where she was sitting with the upset canine. He knelt down next to her and informed her that Chris had just called him to announce that he and Bella were on their way back to the house with Chelsea in tow while May nodded in response, realizing that she had been in the lab for half an hour and had yet to do what she came down here for.

She sighed and glanced over at Tracey where he and Andrew were talking quietly; she didn't want to break them up but also knew that she had to. "Have you guys checked on the snake yet?"

Tracey pulled away from Andrew and shook his head. "We didn't want to risk any accidents when it was just the three of us," he explained quietly as he hesitantly made his way over to her.

"We need to do that now," May replied stoically. She walked over to a set of hooks on the wall and pulled down a lab coat which she tugged on over her stained clothing. It was more of a symbolic move than anything else – whenever her grandfather wasn't around, she was in charge of the lab, though she usually let Tracey handle everything anyways, but tonight she needed to be in charge to get her mind off of… other things.

Andrew fetched the pokeball before Tracey could even bother heading in that direction and silently handed it to May with a cautious look on his face. It was clear that he did not want to come face to face with the animal from earlier. May let out a shaky breath that she hadn't realized she had been holding and waited until everyone was away from the center of the room before throwing out the red and white ball.

The ball opened high in the air and the purple cobra popped out of it, hanging morbidly in the air for a split second before falling limply to the tiled floor with a sickening sound.

May let out a startled scream while Shawn and Damien both cringed in shock as they stared at the lifeless creature. Ash whirled away from the counter he was leaning on and retched in the nearest trashcan; Tracey's first reaction was to turn towards Andrew to bury his face against him but instead caught the blonde boy as he started to sink to the floor in a faint daze.

"Two people passing out in one day from the same pokemon is a bit much, don't you think?" Tracey asked, sounding uncharacteristically angry as he shot the arbok a disgusted look before turning his attention back to Andrew.

"Just like anatomy lab…" Shawn muttered as May raised a hand to her mouth in horror.

In the din and chaos, no one had noticed the severity of the wounds Umbreon had given the snake. Her powerful jaws and sharp teeth, combined with the thrashing movement of the snake had left a gaping wound in its underside, tearing into organs and partially excavating them from the body. Blood and other fluids spilled around the snake in a foul-smelling puddle and splattered the cabinets and counters from when it fell to the floor after coming out of the pokeball.

"I don't think I'll ever make fun of Gary for throwing up in that anatomy lab again," Damien muttered, staring at the gory site in revulsion.

"Recall it, May," Ash spoke up weakly, swaying slightly as he leaned against the counter for support.

"I can't," she whispered, shaking her head slowly, unable to tear her eyes away from the mess on the floor as she tried to figure out what to do. "Only live pokemon can be recalled into their pokeballs. I don't know what to do – we can't just leave it here."

Shawn finally recovered from his shock and made his way forward to take a closer look at the body. "Good god, Umbreon's got good aim – she tore the intestine clean open. It probably died before you guys even left here. I'll take care of it when Chris gets back with Chelsea, he's got a strong enough stomach to take it."

May nodded quickly, tearing off her lab coat and rushing out of the lab with a stifled sob, not noticing as Damien followed. She made it to the bottom of the stairs before a hand caught hold of her wrist; whirling to shake the person's hold, she instead collapsed against Damien's chest and burst into tears again.

He wrapped his arms around her and sighed softly. "It's just a snake, May," he pointed out.

"I am _not_ upset about the stupid snake," May all but wailed. "This is too much – I can't stand being in the lab, I'm sick of working in there, I'm sick of dealing with the pokemon, I'm just sick of it!" With that, she spun away from him and fled up the stairs, disappearing onto the second floor.

Unsure of what to say in response, Damien just watched her go, seeing her differently than he had before. He hadn't thought of it before, but she was startlingly like her brother with the way she hid within herself. She showed people a side of her that was cheerful, loving, playful, and even a bit dorky; but underneath that she was something else – tired. An older sister who was at the end of her line from worrying constantly about her younger sibling. A granddaughter that was sick of acting as her grandfather's secretary. A young woman trapped by the choices made by the men in her life; stuck in a job that wasn't for her, stuck in a depression caused by the one her brother was finally coming out of. She missed out on the experiences her friends had by staying in the lab helping Tracey and the professor instead of going out and getting a real job, going to school, and having the normal experiences for someone her age.

He had to wonder if he was the only one who noticed it.

--- --- ---

Silence on the second floor of the large house had always unnerved her but it had been nearly unbearable this time as she headed to her bedroom to dump the contents of her backpack onto the bed. Anna felt a horrible sense of something akin to despair when she carried her empty bag to Gary's room and she was only able to gather the mp3 player, cell phone, and empty pokeball sitting innocently atop the dresser before her detached sense of objectivity failed her. Her resolve cracked and she let the bag fall from her hand to the floor. She sank onto the bed and buried her face in her hands with her mind racing.

How unbelievably stupid could she have been? She had let an old grudge combine with paranoia and fleeting anger and it had made her unreasonable. There was no excuse for the way she had acted; she couldn't even blame it on hormones…

And what if they hadn't been able to stop the bleeding earlier? She would never have even gotten to say so many things purely because of how dense she had been, she realized as tears started to fall. Reaching behind her, she pulled the first pillow she could grab into her lap and held it against her chest, crying quietly into it before pulling it away from her to look at it. By chance she had managed to grab the one pillow out of the many littering the bed that Gary actually used. It smelled like him – his shampoo, his soap, and just him… She cried all the harder, having not realized until now exactly how much she had missed him in the past week. It made her heart ache terribly, knowing that he had gotten hurt and there was nothing she could do about it.

Lying there crying wouldn't do anything, she knew this but still couldn't ebb the steady stream of tears. She calmed after a few moments and sat back up, replaced to the pillow and stood to pick up her bag once more.

She was going to have to start doing things differently, she thought as she gathered some of Gary's more comfortable clothing and put the articles in her bag. She couldn't just let her emotions get the best of her like that, it wasn't good for either of them or the relationship.

She was desperate to go see Gary, to the point where part of her wanted to go downstairs and yell at May and Damien until they drove her up to Viridian City. Another part of her was dreading the visit – would he be angry at her for her attitude towards him during the week, would he forgive her? She was almost afraid of his reaction to seeing her, though she was a bit more afraid of seeing him ill and weak – she had never known how to handle seeing him like that. Anna supposed she would just have to figure that part out when the time came.

--- --- ---

"God, Andrew, I can't believe you passed out," Shawn teased with a grin. Kate swatted at his arm and gave him an exasperated look that he smiled in response to.

Andrew said nothing in reply and merely closed his eyes, still feeling a bit ill from what had happened in the lab only minutes before. He was lying on the couch in the living room while Tracey was in the kitchen with Ash and Michelle, the latter of whom had arrived just after May had left the lab. The sight of the snake bloodied and torn with organs hanging out of it had been the last thing he could possibly deal with – the massive amount of blood from Gary had tried his weak stomach enough, though he had managed to recover from it somewhat before they returned to the lab. Andrew had never had a weak stomach as a child or a young teen, but sometime after he stopped cutting himself he developed a weakness for blood and guts. He could watch gory movies with no problems, he could play video games with spurting blood left and right, but he'd had to fight not to pass out during dissections – something he had failed at many times.

It was one of the reasons he was so horrible with dissections in the first place; his palms would get sweaty and his hands would shake, holding the scalpel at all was difficult, let alone holding it steady enough to place an accurate incision. Something always went wrong, the worst instance being the time with the rattata, the dissection that Gary, Chelsea, and Shawn _always_ brought up as blackmail. Perhaps it was a bit amusing to look back on but it had been a horrifying experience that he hated to relive. The feeling of passing out wasn't exactly something he enjoyed reliving either.

He stood shakily as Tracey came back into the room and waited until his boyfriend reached him before slowly making his way upstairs towards his bedroom. Tracey looked worriedly up at Andrew as they climbed the stairs.

"Are you sure you're okay to climb the stairs, Andrew?" he asked as he climbed next to him with an arm around his waist. Andrew nodded his head slightly. "I think you should lie down, you're really shaky."

"I need a shower, Trace," Andrew replied flatly, barely glancing at Tracey as he spoke.

Tracey stayed silent. He was worried about Andrew as he had been quieter than usual since returning, not that it was surprising, and then the fainting had taken him by complete surprise. Part of him just wanted to curl up and sleep until everything was normal once more but he mostly wanted to hover around his boyfriend until he was positive that he was perfectly fine. He was almost too tired to do the last part though.

Cleaning the lab had been a long process – getting all of the shards of glass and then inventorying all of the broken equipment, inventorying the medical supplies, plus setting up the paperwork for May to order replacements had been his job and he had barely finished it up when May returned home. Shawn had been in charge of cleaning all of the blood since it made Tracey's stomach churn just being in the general area; he could deal with blood when it was a pokemon other than his own but it was far more difficult when it was a friend who had been hurt. Having had strong feelings for Gary in the first place certainly had not helped much. Ash ended up finishing up the daily work with the pokemon entirely on his own since both Tracey and Shawn were busy and everyone else was gone.

And now they had to clean more. The large serpent and the mess is had created in death was not something he appreciated and Tracey was glad that Shawn and Chris would be the two to manage that task.

The two boys reached Andrew's room and Tracey closed the door behind them as the other boy kicked off his shoes and began peeling off his clothing on the way to the bathroom, leaving a trail of stained articles behind him as he went. Tracey followed him with little hesitation, leaving his shoes near the door as Andrew had done while he waited until he was in the bathroom before stripping off his clothes.

He stepped into the shower to find Andrew leaning against the tiled wall under a stream of nearly scalding water, simply staring off into space. Tracey sighed softly as he turned the water to a more tolerable temperature and stepped under the flow with the blonde boy; he slipped his arms around Andrew in an embrace, quietly nuzzling his face against his neck in an attempt to cheer him up. He raised his head to peer curiously at Andrew when he only limply returned the hug.

"What is it?" Andrew shrugged helplessly in response, his expression carefully blank though a bit of desperation showed in his eyes. Knowing he was only making assumptions based on his relationship, both current and former, with Gary, Tracey pressed on. "I thought you said he was going to be fine?"

Andrew sighed and slumped against the wall while, unsure of what else to do, Tracey began to gently wash the remaining blood off of his skin. "I'm worried," Andrew spoke up dully after a few minutes of Tracey's ministrations.

"What about?"

He sighed again and glared at the far wall while Tracey's hands kept slowly working over his flesh. "There's the obvious," he replied slowly, mulling things over in his mind. "I'm kind of shaken up from it still."

Tracey stopped what he was doing and glanced back up at him. "We all are, Andrew," he pointed out.

Andrew stayed silent, gazing down at Tracey but not really seeing him. After Alex's report, he knew and understood that his best friend was going to be fine but, though he was thrilled, he was concerned about another matter entirely. "I'm afraid that Gary and Anna are going to break up," he finally said.

"What? Why?"

"Well, Anna _has_ given him the cold shoulder for a week – how would you feel if I was an ass to you and it took you going to the hospital for me to knock it off?"

Tracey lowered his eyes to the tiled floor of the shower and to the water falling around their feet. He could see where Andrew was going with this. "I'd be pretty hurt," he admitted.

"Hurt? I'd be awfully pissed if I were in Gary's place! I really like Anna; she's awesome, she's a lot like me in a way. _But_, this whole fight was pretty low of her." Andrew paused and finally met Tracey's eyes. He reached out and placed a hand on Tracey's chest and slowly slid it over his skin until it rested on his shoulder before bringing his other hand up to cup his chin. They kissed, almost hesitantly, and it stayed as a slow and shallow event, not deepening in the slightest, as though they were afraid that this was the wrong time to do it. Andrew pulled away first and gave a small frown. "I know Gary and I know he isn't going to be happy about it having to go this far for Anna to come around. He'll probably be relieved to see her there but… Once he's over the fever and is thinking clearly, he's going to be pissed at her and I don't think it's going to end well. To be honest, I think it'll probably be the end of them. He's going to throw it back in her face and she's going to stay here to try to win him back and it's going to blow up between them at some point."

"I think you're wrong," Tracey replied. He shifted uncomfortably when a look of surprise crossed over Andrew's face. "Alright, I agree that Gary's going to be annoyed with her, and I don't doubt that he'll turn around and give her a taste of her own medicine, but I don't think it's going to be that bad. Maybe they'll fight again for awhile and maybe they'll take a break from each other… But break up completely? They've known each other since they were kids and they're completely head over heels for each other!"

"But, Trace, you don't know Gary like I do."

"No," he agreed quietly. "But I think I'm seeing everything differently than you are. I think things will work out fine in the end, even if things are rocky at the beginning – Gary's stubborn, he's not going to let Anna just walk away from him and I don't think May is going to let them break it off. Just to point in my two cents worth, I think May and Michelle would give Anna total hell for it; and I don't think Bella will let things slide, either, if May's angry with Anna."

"Yeah, but –"

"Andrew…" The blonde stopped midsentence and looked back at Tracey. "What is that you're always telling Gary to stop doing?"

He frowned, thrown off by the unexpected question. "Playing Nightwish on keyboards?" he guessed. Tracey smiled but shook his head while Andrew wracked his brains for another guess. "Stealing my Arch Enemy hoodie?" Another shake and Andrew's frown deepened some more. He glanced upwards at the ceiling with an adorable thoughtful expression on his face and Tracey had to fight back a smile at the sight. Unable to think of another response, he grinned suddenly. "Being a pussy," he declared confidently, though in a mellowed version of his regular self.

"No, Andrew," Tracey sighed. "What are you doing right now?"

"Standing naked in the shower with you," he automatically replied. Tracey gave him a look that caused him to smile slightly. "Okay, okay, I'll be serious… Um, trying to think of an… Oh. Thinking too much," he finally realized.

Tracey nodded in affirmation with a solemn expression in his eyes. "Exactly."

"But I can't help it!" Andrew whined, placing his hands on Tracey's hips and pouting. He was making a conscious effort to act more like himself to keep his boyfriend from worrying about him.

A soft groan escaped Tracey, he could tell that Andrew was trying to act as though he was normal and wanted desperately to make him feel better. Still unsure if this was truly an appropriate time for the actions that would surely follow, he wrapped his arms around Andrew's neck and pressed their lips together, this time swiftly deepening the kiss. He pulled Andrew closer to him and let his hands get lost in his damp hair while their tongues coiled around each other, lips forcefully massaging as their bodies melded together under the water.

Andrew was once more the first to pull away but Tracey could feel the way his body had reacted. "You're trying to distract me," he observed quietly.

Tracey grinned a bit sheepishly but agreed. "What do you want to do about it?"

The other boy grinned in response and let his hands wander along Tracey's body as he brought his mouth to his ear. "Take me," he whispered lowly. Tracey frowned slightly and gave him a look as if to ask him if he was sure. A small nod was all the encouragement that Tracey needed as he turned off the water and followed Andrew into the bedroom.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

The rattata and the wheel conversation… You ever hear the saying 'the wheel's moving but the hamster ain't moving?' Pokemon version of that. I was tempted to use a pikachu instead of a rattata since he's a mouse and I remember my mice being very wheel-happy but Pikachu reminds me of a chinchilla more than a mouse… Then again chinchillies apparently enjoy wheels as well; I wouldn't know, I've never had one. :'(

Arch-Trainer – you're back! Yay! I missed reading your reviews. As always, thank you so much for your reviews. Sticking with the puppies over the snakes, huh? I'm kind of torn on them – I love puppies to death but I find venomous snakes fascinating, until you get nailed by one, of course. :) Wow, I wish I had thought of Gary leaning on Tracey for support… I honestly never thought of bringing him into that whole mess. I'm glad to see that you thought the passing out part was realistic; I fortunately haven't passed out in several years so I don't quite remember the details and the memory is a bit fuzzy so I totally forgot about the tunnel vision. I enjoyed reading your thoughts on that entire scene. Andrew's behavior in the hospital – kind of a combination of reminders of past times and being shaken up by Gary's injury and just being worried about him in general.

Punktheway – Thanks for the review! You know, I was going to do the classic make up between Gary and Anna but when I read your review I realized that wouldn't exactly be the most realistic way to do it. I agree, I would be pretty pissed to be in Gary's place, I sense a bit of drama in the next chapter.

Reviews are awesome – they tend to give me new ideas! *cough*review*cough* ; )


	58. Chapter 58: Seeing

**Beyond The Walls**

I've gotten some really awesome reviews and messages for the last few chapters and I really wanted to thank those of you who gave me, not just a review, but an actual _review_. They're supposed to help us out as writers and unfortunately, that doesn't always happen. I appreciate the reviews no matter what and I love getting them but a special thank you to those who have given me ideas and have helped me as a writer. I would actually love to see more reviews in the chapters to come and I would love some ideas for May's character, as well as Rachael's – I've got vague plans for them but they need some fleshing out! Any ideas for some more Tracey/Andrew things would be great as well; I love Tracey to death but for the life of me I can't figure out what the hell to do with him!

That said, enjoy this chapter, the next one is partially written and should be up fairly soon.

Chapter 58: Seeing

The drive back to the hospital was quiet and May liked it that way; the only consistent noise came from passing cars and the radio. Other than that and the few questions that Anna asked about Gary, which May answered rather coldly, it was silent. There were only three people in the car and though she hadn't expected Andrew to come along, she had been surprised when he disappeared off with Tracey.

Her mind seemed to be a jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions even though her concern for her brother had begun to wane after her grandfather had called to update her on his condition – apparently his body wasn't responding to the venom as badly as they had feared he would. She had been worried about Chelsea but knowing that she had been well enough to be discharged had quelled that particular concern. She knew she couldn't even stay worried about Andrew since Tracey was taking care of him. Despite those subdued worried, she was angry, confused, and perhaps even a bit desperate. On top of that all, annoyance towards Anna had been building all week and had peaked tonight, making her irritable and unable to stand being with the brat.

Everything that had happened in the lab throughout the day was weighing heavily on her and vocalizing it all to Damien had increased her desperation for escape nearly exponentially. She had a nagging feeling that this would end up being the final straw for her working in the laboratory. May had always known that lab work was not for her, that there were other things out there for her, but she had always just taken what life sent her way and forced a smile until she was reasonably happy. There were many things she enjoyed in the lab, especially now that it was full – working side-by-side with Tracey and Ash, watching the small interactions between Tracey and Andrew that made her smile, playing with the puppies with her brother; even watching Gary and Andrew try to outsmart each other was amusing. Yet, despite it all, moments of laughter and smiles couldn't make up for the tedious and sometimes terrifying work expected of her. She felt desperate to get out of it and just go someplace else for school, for a job, for new friends, and for a new life.

Confusion was starting to well up inside of her, most of it stemming from the interactions between herself and Damien. She was certain that she had made a fool out of herself with hysterics all evening; he probably saw her as weak now and she hated herself for it, though another part of her was secretly glad that she had acted that way as it showed her that he wasn't the type of person to run out in times of trouble. She'd once had a boyfriend who did just that and he hadn't lasted long. Why _was_ he being so nice to her in the first place? Were they just friends still or was he starting to view her as more than that? They _had_ been flirting all week as Bella insisted on pointing out seemingly every ten minutes. And what of the little glances and accidental touches that seemed to make them both blush? She didn't know what to think of it and all she could really ask herself was, why not?

Why couldn't she be with him? She could easily snag him and she knew it but, as usual, something – or a particular someone – was in her way.

May wearily pulled herself out of her thoughts as the car turned into the visitor's parking lot and parked in one of the closest spots. She climbed out with Damien and ignored Anna as they walked towards the double doors at the entrance and then took the elevator up to the proper floor. It was easy for May and Damien to find their way back to the right place since her grandfather was standing outside the closed door, talking to one of the doctors.

The professor turned after the doctor left and smiled at them as they headed down the hallway towards him; he hugged May and greeted Damien and Anna rather blandly. The fact that he didn't hug Anna gave May a thrill of momentary elation; did he also blame Gary's distraction on the fight with Anna?

"How is he, Grandpa?" she asked quickly.

Professor Oak smiled again at her concern. "He's," he paused, apparently rethinking whatever he had been about to say. "Well, he's Gary," he finally said with a small shrug as though that explained everything.

"Is that a good thing?" Damien asked.

"He's acting pretty much like himself right now. He had been sleeping but once the fever spiked and he started vomiting, he couldn't really stay asleep. The fever went down quickly so the doctor thinks that the snake only got in enough venom to give him the side effects, and it helps that your brother is physically healthy. He'll probably be able to come home tomorrow afternoon."

Anna looked as though she wanted to say something in response to the fact that the professor had emphasized the physical part but May cut her off before she could say anything. "Don't get your panties in a twist," she snapped. "You can't be psychologically healthy less than a year after a suicide attempt when you've just accepted the fact that your parent's have been dead for ten years. Having your girlfriend walk out on you for a pathetic reason usually doesn't help either."

Professor Oak looked surprised by the snap but said nothing, only nodding when May asked if she could go into the room. Anna and Damien trailed after May as she quietly opened the door to the room and entered. Though her grandfather had told her that Gary was awake, May was surprised to find him sitting up and talking quietly with Alex; she was even more surprised when he gave her a small smile. He was far paler than usual and, despite looking much better than he had in the lab, definitely looked tired and a bit ill but appeared oddly cheerful.

She planted a kiss on his forehead and noticed easily that he was still feverish as she hugged him, being careful of the IV and the stitches in his arm. "How are you feeling, brat?"

"Like shit," Gary replied honestly.

"They must have you on some strong medication for you to be smiling."

Gary laughed softly and gave a small nod, wincing slightly as he did so. "That probably has something to do with it but Alex just told me that Iron Maiden is playing in Sinnoh at the beginning of May." He finally looked past his sister at the other two people in the room and his smile faded a bit. "Anna, Damien," he greeted flatly. Anna came forward and hugged him; she leaned forward to press a small kiss against his lips but instead pulled away with a confused and hurt expression when he turned his head away. "Are you done being a bitch?" Anna nodded her head. "Good," he replied crisply as he turned back to May.

A tense silence filled the room; everyone seemed surprised by Gary's sudden icy attitude towards his girlfriend while Anna looked hurt and May looked somewhat triumphant.

"We brought someone else to see you, too," May spoke up cheerfully in order to break the silence. She grabbed the bag that Anna was holding, ignoring the baffled and annoyed expression that crossed the other girl's face, and pulled out the pokeball that was inside of it.

Gary smiled when she handed it to him and ran his fingers over the metal surface of it, glad that she had thought to bring Umbreon along as he had been wondering how she was doing after what had happened. The dark pokemon was usually quite distressed whenever anything happened to him and he could only imagine how upset she must be now. He knew she couldn't stay in the hospital but releasing her couldn't possibly hurt anything. As soon as she was out of the ball, she slunk up to the bed with her tail tucked and nudged his uninjured hand with a small whimper that he interpreted as her version of an apology. After a few assurances that he was alright and several pets on the head, Umbreon climbed onto the bed and curled up at the foot of it with her scarlet eyes fixed on her trainer.

They stayed awhile longer while Damien told Alex about what had happened to the snake and May made small talk with her brother. It only took her a few short moments to realize that he was pointedly ignoring Anna, or at least trying to; she noticed that his eyes kept flicking over to where she was standing at the foot of the bed petting Umbreon. After a fairly short time, one of the nurses came in to announce that visiting hours were ending and that only one person could stay in the room; figuring the Gary would chose to have either his sister or girlfriend stay with him, Alex stood and started walking to the door. As he stood, May glanced up but turned back to her brother as a sudden small movement caught her eye. Gary had moved his arm as though to brush a lock of hair out of his face, giving a small pained yelp that caused Alex to turn quickly to see what had happened.

While Alex came over and fussed over Gary, May glanced over at Damien, saw that he looked confused, and wondered if she appeared just as lost. It was interesting; she had met his eyes just as he had yelped and hadn't seen an ounce of pain in his eyes. If she could base her judgment on Damien's confused expression, she would guess that he had noticed that as well while neither Alex nor Anna had seemed to notice.

May waited until Gary was done reassuring Alex that he was fine before speaking up. "Who do you want to stay with you tonight?" she asked quietly.

Anna moved a bit closer to the bed and May noticed the way Gary's eyes moved over her form before flitting over to the other two males in the room. "Alex," he replied, ignoring the surprised expressions that appeared on the faces of all four people in the small room. Even Umbreon seemed surprised by her trainer's choice.

The sudden silence that fell over them from that one spoken name didn't surprise Gary; he knew what they were all expecting to happen and, as much as he wanted it to happen, he held back. They all expected the entire fight between himself and Anna to be forgotten about but didn't seem to think about the fact that it had taken him being hospitalized for her to drop her attitude and then there was the fact that she had put him through a miniature hell this past week. He didn't intend on putting her through the same week-long purgatory but was certainly going to make sure that she knew he wouldn't stand for being treated like a doormat for simply worrying about a former friend.

Damien and May accepted his answer with a simple nod while Anna and Alex both seemed to have a hard time getting his choice to sink in. The former two said their goodbyes fairly quickly and then hovered near the door to wait for Anna while Alex returned to the seat he had occupied when they arrived. As Anna moved to his side, Gary noticed how closed-off her expression was and had to fight down a sigh – she had her defenses up and it had been a long time since he had been cast outside of those walls she erected around herself. She simply looked down at him with a sad expression in her eyes for a moment before slipping her hand into his.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," she said softly. Gary nodded quietly, a bit disappointed when Anna moved her hand out of his grasp and left his side to retrieve the bag from the floor near the foot of the bed. "I brought you some clothes and your phone," she explained as she set it next to Alex's chair before coming back over to the bed.

She kissed his cheek softly and he returned it without hesitation. "Are you staying at the house?" he asked curiously. She nodded and he couldn't help but notice how fast the movement was; it almost made him dizzy to watch. "Loki missed you," he informed her solemnly. "Make sure you play with him when you get home." Gary glanced down at Umbreon and then handed her pokeball to Anna after a quick moment of thought. He may have been feeling okay when his three visitors entered the room but he could feel the fever beginning to peak once more and knew that it was only a matter of time before he was sick again. He knew Umbreon would be distressed by him being sick and, as much as he wanted her to stay and sleep with him like she always did at home, he had to think of what was best for her. "Bring 'Bre home, too. I don't think she'll like staying in here tonight."

Anna nodded again and Gary noticed her eyes glimmer for a moment; she clenched her jaw then unclenched it and the shimmer faded. As she turned wordlessly to leave after recalling the dark pokemon into her ball, Gary felt terrible. He hadn't meant to hurt her by being distant but, by recognizing the fact that she had come close to tears, he realized that he had managed to do just that. She left the room quickly and he resisted the urge to call after her; he was sorely tempted to change his mind and allow Anna to stay in Alex's place but knew that he had to stand his ground. Besides, Alex knew how to handle a fever and vomiting combined with immense pain and the side effects of pain killers, Anna didn't. Alex was a more reasonable choice even though Anna would be a more comforting choice.

Gary closed his eyes for a moment, wondering if the nauseous feeling he felt was due to guilt or the returning fever. When he opened them again, he saw Damien gently usher May to the door by placing his hand on her lower back. The kind smile that they shared didn't escape his notice. Without really thinking, he called after his sister and gestured for her to come back over; he almost laughed at the way Damien rolled his eyes. Apparently the older boy knew that he had noticed the touch. May came over with a small smile and leaned over him when he moved to hug her. He took the opportunity to pull her closer to him, fighting back a wince as the needle of the IV was jarred slightly by the move. Gary glanced at Damien over May's shoulder and raised his lips to his sister's ear. "Will you just kiss him and get it over with?"

As May pulled away, she frowned and placed her wrist against Gary's forehead. "I think your fever's coming back pretty strong," she said simply.

Gary rolled his eyes slightly and immediately regretted it as he felt a surge of dizziness. He knew May was passing off his words as an effect of the fever and medication but he had noticed everything that had been going on between his sister and friend this week; he may have been distracted but he wasn't blind. "Just go for it, May," he replied quietly.

"See you tomorrow, Gary. Get some sleep." With that, she turned back to Damien and left the room with a final glance back at him, wondering if he was actually being serious.

Once the door closed behind them, Alex leaned back in his seat and considered Gary as the teen slumped tiredly against the pillows on his bed. "So, are you going to tell me what exactly you're trying to do or should I just guess?"

"Not now, Alex…"

"You're trying to get back at her, aren't you?" Alex pressed on as if Gary hadn't even spoken.

"Alex, please; I don't feel well. I just want to sleep right now."

He was quiet for a moment as Gary closed his eyes and tried to let himself slip off in slumber. "It's not her fault that you happened to get hospitalized before you made up, you know," he spoke up.

"I never said it was, now be quiet."

"You didn't need to be so cold with her."

"And you don't need to keep talking," Gary snapped back.

Alex finally recognized defeat and fell silent, knowing that to keep talking would only cause more problems and that was something he wanted to avoid, especially with Gary being ill.

--- --- ---

The night was surprisingly beautiful, especially considering the fact that it had rained all afternoon. The sky was clear with a smattering of bright stars and the vast backyard was illuminated by the swollen moon that wasn't quite yet full; the air was cool with a slight breeze and only a small amount of humidity remaining from the afternoon's thunderstorm. It was quiet for once: no guitars or drums sounding from an open window, no blaring stereos, no incessant keyboard melodies, and no arguing or bickering. Despite the lack of the common noises, the night was far from silent as the branches of tress whispered in the wind while the vocalizations of pokemon echoed across the grounds of the preserve. The occasional flurry of wings could be heard as a bat flew overhead, but that didn't prevent the scene from being peaceful.

May wrapped her arms around herself and shivered slightly; for some reason – stupidity, she had decided – she had changed into a sleeveless slip that fell to a mid-thigh length on her. Normally she would cover up a bit more, or stay within the confines of her bedroom while wearing pajamas but she didn't care who saw her tonight – it was nice out and her bedroom felt almost claustrophobic, that was why she had chosen to sit on the steps of the back porch. To make matters worse, the words her brother had said to her before she had left the hospital kept running through her head no matter how hard she tried to stop the thoughts. She couldn't help but wonder if he was being serious or sarcastic, and then there was another part of her that wanted to pass it off as the fever scrambling his mind but it was hard to do that as Gary had been incredibly lucid despite the obvious illness. She wasn't sure what to do.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the back door open as someone joined her on the porch; she didn't even look up until the door closed loudly. Turning, she found Damien standing behind her with a surprised expression that she couldn't help but laugh at.

"That door slams," she explained with a smile.

Damien glanced back at the door and laughed softly. "I noticed." He quietly joined her on the steps and they sat in silence for several moments, both simply enjoying the way the comfortable darkness combined with each other's presence to create a mood that would have easily allowed anything on a romantic continuum from innocent to sexual. Finally, he turned to face her and asked something he had been curious about for the past few hours. "What did Gary say when he called you over?"

Remembering what Gary had said, May blushed and was grateful for the surrounding darkness and the fact that Damien couldn't see the pink tint to her face. "Nothing," she hedged, nervously toying with her hair as she looked over the lawn. "He was just being his normal bratty self."

"Sure he was," Damien replied sarcastically, nudging her shoulder playfully. "If he was just being himself, then why won't you tell me?"

May glanced up at him and returned the playful grin he was giving her. "Fine," she sighed as she stifled a small laugh, pretending that it was more of a hardship than it really was. "You really want to know what he said?"

"Yeah."

"He said I should kiss you and get it over with."

Damien laughed again and May returned it while blushing harder; she tried not to shiver too noticeably as another breeze swept through the cool air. Having grown up in Sinnoh, he barely noticed the wind though he did notice the slight quiver that overtook her thin frame. "Cold?"

May gave a small nod. "A little," she admitted. Damien slipped an arm around her shoulders and she jumped a bit at the sudden moved but soon relaxed against him, savoring the feeling of a warm body against hers. They were quiet for a few minutes, watching as a few bats flew around the yard until Damien broke the silence again.

"I was kind of surprised by that whole thing between Gary and Anna back at the hospital."

"Same here," May replied quietly. "I'm actually happy about it though." Damien turned to her with a questioning expression and May pressed on to explain. "It's just nice to see him stand up to her; there are times when he'll do anything she says and most people don't realize it. Especially when they were younger – Gary was argumentative and would wander off on his own on occasion but he never misbehaved unless Anna was around starting trouble… Or if Ash was around, then Gary would tease him," she paused and turned away from Damien to look out over the lawn again. She hardly saw the swooping bats or heard the rustle of tree branches as she thought back to the times when she had traveled with her brother and the other girls.

Things had been incredibly different back then – for starters, the entire group was still whole, not torn apart. Rachael and Anna got along for the most part though they did fight more than was normal for siblings. She and Bella were nearly attached at the hip; there were no boyfriends to keep the girls from spending every moment with each other. Michelle was still innocent and had yet to pick up on Anna's wild ways. Kate was still an adventurous child who saw training as something more like a type of playtime with the person who had been her best friend; that pure attitude of hers had begun to fade as Gary became more and more serious as a trainer before diminishing entirely when he stopped seeing the fun in training. May knew that her brother had figured the girl had grown heartbroken from losing so many battles but most people had been able to see that she had, in fact, grown heartbroken from losing her childhood playmate to a seriousness that was far beyond his years.

But the biggest difference was in her brother. He had been happy then, for the most part, but training and being around Anna all the time affected him in strange ways, almost splitting his personality until there were two incredibly different sides to him hiding who May felt he had truly been. The training brought out a grave and humorless side that fostered the depression that had always existed, perhaps making him more vulnerable to Anna's influence. That in particular was what May hated. Anna's influence hit Gary in two vastly different ways that had somehow joined to create a potentially dangerous combination. The torn child that Gary had recognized in her would heighten his own negativity and May felt that it was prolonged exposure to this side of Anna that led Gary to the destructive act of cutting himself while the hyper and mischievous sprite made him act up.

"You think it's her fault that he's the way he is now?" Damien asked softly.

"Not entirely, but yeah, I do."

"Why is that?"

May was silent for a moment, considering how to answer the straightforward question. "I don't know… I guess partially because she was the first one to expose him to cutting and alcohol and sex –"

"Ah, I see where you're going with this," Damien smiled. It was May's turn to fix him with a quizzical look. "You think her influence is what made him start with all of that, don't you?"

She shook her head distractedly and pulled away from him. "If you had a little sister who –"

"I see your concern, May, and I understand it, but I think you're overlooking the differences between you and your brother."

"Meaning?"

Damien chuckled softly but there was no humor to the sound and it confused her. "It's sort of the difference between guys and girls; guys react different than a girl will, you know that. You're looking straight at Anna for blame but you're overlooking the biggest thing that affected both you _and _Gary. And Alex to an extent – the reason why he's so overprotective and always feels like he needs to be involved."

May sighed and pushed her hair out of her face in an irritated fashion. "My parents, I know."

"Exactly. I don't know entirely because I didn't meet you guys until years later and it's only recently that I've become so familiar with both of you, but I think that it's the main thing that affected Gary, not Anna –"

"It is but that's not the entire thing! Anna's the one that introduced him to it all –"

"May, stop for a second," Damien interrupted gently. He placed a hand on her shoulder and waited until she calmed down before continuing. "How old do you think Gary even was when he started everything?

"He had sex and got drunk for the first time when he was sixteen," she replied without hesitating.

"That's what he told you?" Damien asked doubtfully. May nodded and he sighed. "May, if that were true then he was best friends with Andrew when he did it, meaning Andrew had that influence on him." She frowned but didn't reply, unwilling to think that she may have been wrong in blaming Anna for the negative behavior over the past two years. "And that's not getting into the fact that I remember your brother getting drunk when he was only fifteen and he told me that he had sex when he was fourteen… I'm not saying it had nothing to do with Anna, for all I know, she was probably the one he lost his virginity to; I'm just saying that maybe you're just being a bit harsh."

May didn't exactly like where this was going as she knew it hit rather close to home. She hated to admit it, but she instinctively knew that she couldn't blame Anna; she had always known this and it was with this in mind that she asked a question of her own. "What were you saying about the difference between guys and girls?"

Damien sighed quietly and shook his head in defeat. "Changing the subject, huh? I'll get back to that when I make my point."

"Which would be?"

"Look, Gary lied to you about when he started being his deviant little self and he doesn't lie very often; everyone knows _that_. I'm willing to bet that he told you that so that you wouldn't blame Anna and so that you would think he started when he left for school – where you couldn't look after him." May opened her mouth to argue but he stopped her by raising a hand and gently pressing a finger against her lips; more surprised than anything else, she fell silent. The mere fact that part of his body was so softly touching her lips made her lose track of her thoughts as her eyes closed with her mouth still slightly open. She was utterly tempted to kiss the finger that was resting against her lips but she pulled back when his voice began once more. "He's not stupid, May, he knows that you're always looking out for him and that you're always worried about him. But he's like every teenager: he doesn't want someone looking after him constantly. To be honest, I think he wants you to worry more about yourself than about him… And I think he made that a bit obvious when he said that earlier." The last part was spoken so softly that May could barely hear it; if anyone else were on the porch with them, they wouldn't have even heard him speak.

She knew exactly what he was talking about without him specifying any particular thing that Gary had said throughout the day. It made sense; it made more sense when Damien said it like that than it did when she mulled it over in her mind.

Then, before she had entirely let the words sink in, she began to move forward, her body moving without her brain allowing the actions to make sense. Her eyes fluttered closed once more and she was a bit startled when she felt their lips touch. She froze, suddenly aware of what had just happened, but quickly recovered as she felt Damien's lips lightly brush against her own in another chaste kiss. He pulled away before she did and when she opened her eyes, she found that he had a sweet smile gracing his face.

"Did you make your point?" May asked.

"You tell me." His voice sounded almost as distant as hers had.

"Yes," she breathed in return.

"Good… You don't have to listen to your brother but he does occasionally have a good idea in that thick head of his."

Not wanting to look too deeply into it, May ignored the comment and pressed the topic she had brought up a few short moments before. "About differences?"

"Damn, you're persistent." May grinned at the comment. "I was going to say that I think the reason Gary turned to those things in the first place has nothing to do with Anna and everything to do with who and how he is. He's secretive and closed off, like a lot of guys, so instead of doing anything to help what he was going through, he chose to hide it and distract himself with other things. I think the reason you have a hard time dealing with that is because you're – no offense – but you're more of a typical girl when it comes to that. You talk about it and you deal with it with other people; Gary doing anything differently just doesn't make sense to you."

"So, you don't think Anna has anything to do with the way my brother is?"

"Not entirely. She seems like she's more masculine with the way she handles things and that's probably why Gary's so comfortable with her, especially with how you and Alex are always worried about him. From what I understand, Anna lets him be when he needs space and, to be perfectly honest, I think that's what is finally making him change now… He almost definitely would have turned to that on his own even if he had never met Anna. Even if she _did_ introduce him to it, she didn't force it; Gary did it all on his own. He probably would be a lot worse off without her, honestly."

"You think I'm being stupid for blaming her, don't you?" May asked quietly, hoping sincerely that that was not the case.

"No," Damien replied honestly. "I can see why you blame her. I don't think it's healthy, but I can understand it; you just don't want to lose another family member and it's easier to have a scapegoat."

It was nice to know that someone understood her, even though it was almost unnerving how he had figured her out so quickly and easily. What May especially liked was the way Damien had spoken so calmly, without any sort of judgment seeping into his voice; he had simply said what he thought and expanded on it enough to get his point across. He hadn't been even the slightest bit confrontational or condescending.

She smiled and almost blushed again as she looked up at him. "You're smarter than you look," she teased lightly.

The small chuckle that escaped him made heat rise in her face until she was certain that her cheeks were flushed in the dim light from the stars and moon. "I'm observant, that's all. I tend to see past a lot of things and see people as they are," he replied with a simple shrug. It was a casual statement, no teasing or lying to better himself in her eyes.

Another smile spread across May's lips as she nudged him lightly with her shoulder. "And what do you see me as?" she asked good-naturedly.

Damien looked down at her for a moment with a startled expression as though he hadn't been expecting the question. Several seconds passed before he appeared to think for a moment before answering. "I see a girl that's dying to grow up and be herself," he said softly, studying her eyes as he spoke. "You're smart and strong… and beautiful… but you want to escape. That's the biggest feeling I'm getting from you."

The statement was dead on, she thought. "Are you psychic?"

He laughed and May couldn't help but join in after a moment; she had, after all, meant the question as a joke. "Nah, I just think I have a gift for reading people."

"What do you see when you look at my brother?" The question spilled from her mouth before she could stop it; it was pure curiosity.

"How did I know you were going to ask that?" Damien sobered after a final soft laugh and May waited patiently as he looked out over the backyard for a long moment. "I used to see Gary as a confused child who used his attitude to cover up the fact that he was completely lost. He's not really like that anymore, though. He's starting to come around and I have to admit that I'm really impressed with him so far, but I'm really looking forward to seeing him next time. I mean, I haven't really seen _Gary _this week; I've only seen a scorned boyfriend who just wants to make things right with his girlfriend."

"You know why they were fighting in the first place, right?"

He nodded, eyes still focused on the sloping lawn. "I've heard it from Andrew, Alex, and Chris, with help from Bella."

"So then, you know what's going on with Anna's sister?"

"Pretty much."

"What do you think of it?" May asked. She was a bit surprised when she heard herself ask the question – it was something she could almost hear her brother's voice asking her and she knew that Gary's concern was wearing off on her.

Damien finally turned to face her again and she noticed that his expression had turned serious. "I think it's serious… I'd be worried, especially if Gary is worried. I don't know about everyone else, but Alex really discounts what he says because he's still young and that's not what should be happening."

"What do you mean?"

"Let me put it this way: someone who's been through something can usually tell when someone else is going through it. I could tell your brother was a cutter as soon as he moved to Pastoria – it was obvious to me and probably Andrew and Charlotte as well. I even told Alex, but you know how he is."

May nodded in agreement to the last part and frowned as she thought over what he had said. "You think Gary knows something we don't," she observed quietly.

"Gary's been through a lot so I think he recognizes warning signs that other people would miss. If he's worried then someone should at least take him seriously."

"He is a smart little brat, that's for sure," May muttered and Damien smiled, the seriousness fading from his eyes a bit as he slipped an arm across her shoulders once more as she shivered when another breeze swept through.

"Yeah, I'll give credit where it's due. Here's the question of the night, though: how smart was his suggestion earlier?"

She smiled but it faded quickly as she hastily reviewed the logistics in her head; she may have wanted to act on that suggestion but whether or not it would work out was highly questionable. "I don't know," she admitted sullenly. "You live in Sinnoh, Damien, I live in Kanto… How would things work?"

"But you want to?" he pressed.

"I want to," May agreed with a small nod. "but I think we should just see where things go."

"Leave it to fate?"

May nodded again; she liked the way that sounded. "Leave it to fate," she confirmed with a smile.

Damien stood and held out a hand to help her to her feet. "Deal, but the Fates are telling me to go upstairs and get some sleep and I think doing that would include kissing you goodnight."

"Okay, but you can't tell."

"May, I doubt Gary is going to care."

"Yeah, but what about Alex?" she pointed out.

He sighed as he opened the back door and ushered her inside the kitchen and towards the hallway. "What Alex doesn't know won't hurt him," he agreed.

They both headed up the stairs and then down the second floor corridor together and May was surprised when Damien walked her to her room as the guest room he was staying in was down a different hallway. She paused with her hand on the doorknob and turned to face him one last time before heading to bed for the night. She stood on tiptoe for his lips to descend on hers in a final kiss, longer than the ones on the porch, not quite as chaste but still sweet. He pulled away with a small smile and a soft "good night," and May watched as he turned to head back the way they came.

As May entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her, a soft sigh escaped her. Somehow, everything felt a bit different; her mind was oddly clear and her desperation was somewhat diminished from what it had been before. She lay down to go to sleep and wondered if just maybe she should listen to her brother a bit more often.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

My apologies for the delay but all writing came to a screeching halt when Iron Maiden's Flight 666 came out on dvd! I've been insanely busy with work as well so it's been a bit difficult to write.

Punktheway – Thanks! I'm glad you're looking forward to that story because I definitely can't wait to write it!

Arch-trainer – Thanks as always! I made you queasy? No offense but that makes me kind of proud! : ) Definitely the first time I've done that with my writing. I'm glad you're curious about May since she's certainly coming forward more as a character lately.


	59. Chapter 59: Recovery

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 59: Recovery

Anna paused in the road and waited for Umbreon to catch up with her as the canine lagged behind; it was early in the morning but she hadn't been able to sleep so she had dressed and headed out of the house with Umbreon in tow. She could see her own house up ahead and started forward once more when the pokemon reached her, she hadn't told anyone where she was going, mostly because everyone was still sleeping. The house seemed too quiet, too still, and she needed to get out; she needed to see how Gary was doing but to do that, she needed a car, which was why she was heading to her house.

When she reached the heavy wooden door, she paused again to fish through her bag for her key and slowly opened the door, not looking forward to her mother's reaction to leaving and then treating her sister as she did when she had left the night before. The smaller house was quiet but it wasn't as eerie as the one she usually stayed at, perhaps because this one was so much smaller. She could hear her sister's violin playing on the second floor and could smell coffee from the kitchen but found the tiled room to be empty when she entered it. Her mother's purse and keys were still on the granite counter so she knew that the woman had to be around somewhere. Anna frowned; she was eager to find her mother and convince her to allow her to borrow the car but thirst after the walk over kept her in the kitchen as she opened the refrigerator and picked out a can of soda for herself before filling a bowl with water for Umbreon. A sound from the doorway made her look up in surprise and she found Rachael standing at the entrance to the room.

"I thought I heard the door open," Rachael commented quietly.

"Rach," Anna greeted calmly in surprise. She hadn't heard the violin stop. "Where's Mom?"

"How would I know?" Rachael snapped at her. "I'm just a worthless peon, why would she tell me where she was going?"

Anna shook her head irritably and left the kitchen to head up the stairs. "There's a reason you're worthless," she muttered as Umbreon followed her up the stairwell and on to the second floor. She tossed her bag on the floor of her bedroom without even glancing in it and continued down the hall, peeking into her mother's empty bedroom before heading towards Nicole's office.

Nicole glanced up from her computer as her elder daughter entered the room and leaned against the wall beside the door. "The prodigal daughter returns," she muttered as she continued typing on her computer. "How's Gary? Rachael said something about the hospital."

"He's doing alright," Anna replied softly as she reached down to pet Umbreon as she leaned against her legs.

"The only reason I'm not mad at you for leaving is because of that." Anna frowned at her mother's words, wondering if Rachael had left out the final exchange between them when she explained what happened. "What happened to him?"

She explained quickly, leaving out the fact that he had been rather cold towards her when she visited. Still expecting her mother to be angry with her for leaving the house, Anna was surprised when the woman came over and hugged her. "Uh, Ma? Shouldn't you be pissed at me?" she asked, a bit startled by the reaction.

Nicole pulled away from her daughter and knelt to greet Umbreon. "Why should I be? You finally got your head out of your ass; I'm more happy about that than I am annoyed."

"You're so supportive," Anna replied dryly. "Look, everyone else at the house is still asleep, can I please borrow your car so that I can go see him?"

"You are not driving my car, Anna –"

"Ma!"

"I'll drive you there; besides, Lord knows your sister needs to get the hell out of this house. I'm sure it would do her some good to see Gary too." Nicole stood after giving Umbreon a final pat on the head and started to head out of the room when Anna spoke up in a whining voice.

"Do we _have _to bring Rachael, Ma?"

"Stop while you're ahead, Ann," Nicole's voice carried from a ways down the hall as she walked away and Anna groaned as she looked down at Umbreon, wondering why exactly her luck had to be bad enough to land her in a car with her sister.

It felt as though several hours passed before they left the house though the clock in the living room said that it only took half an hour for Nicole and Rachael to get ready to leave; Anna was convinced that the clock was broken. To make matters worse, her mother insisted on making several stops on the way up to Viridian City – granted the first stop at the coffee house in Pallet where Kate worked at was nice and Anna's complaints were silenced when Kate fixed her a chai frappuccino with several shots of vanilla syrup, though she could have done without the fifteen minute stop at a gas station, or the forty-five minute stop at a café in Viridian for breakfast. By the time they even reached the hospital, it was already nearly eleven when she had arrived at her house around eight in the morning. To say that Anna was annoyed with her mother was an understatement.

Eager to see Gary, she was out of the car before Nicole had even removed the keys from the ignition and impatiently met her mother and sister at the door an agonizing five minutes later. Anna hurried through the hospital, several paces ahead of her two followers, only pausing at the visitor's desk and before the elevator to allow them to catch up. As soon as the elevator reached the correct floor, she raced out and nearly ran into Alex, who looked both confused and amused by her sudden appearance.

"Alex," she exclaimed as she staggered to a stop after nearly crashing into him. She took in his disheveled and tired appearance quickly and smiled. "You look like shit," she observed.

Alex shook his head with a small smile before replying. "Your boyfriend doesn't look much better, to be honest."

At that point, Nicole and Rachael appeared beside her and her response was cut off by her mother cheerfully greeting Alex with a hug. Anna rolled her eyes at the action and glanced over at her sister; she was surprised to see that the trek through the hospital had turned Rachael's face a rather delicate shade of white while the girl seemed a bit shaky. She passed it off as a result of her sister's refusal to eat any breakfast – something about not feeling particularly well that morning, an excuse that Anna believed to be bullshit while even Nicole seemed doubtful.

It took her only a quick moment of her mother's conversation with Alex for Anna to lose her waning patience. "How is he, Alex?" she asked pointedly, interrupting her mother as she spoke.

Alex glanced at the two teen girls, his green eyes lingering on Rachael a bit longer than was polite. "He's asleep right now," he explained quietly, tiredly running a hand over his face. "Last night was really bad – he was throwing up almost nonstop for a few hours straight and then he was in a lot of pain."

"Poor thing," Nicole said softly, wincing at Alex's description. "Is he doing better now?"

"A bit, probably not for long though. Fever's down a bit, but not much; the doctor doesn't want more people than are necessary in there with him with how sick he's been," he explained with a tired shrug that seemed to emphasize how exhausted he appeared to be.

"Can I go in by him?" Anna spoke up again.

"He's out right now, Anna, and he probably won't wake up until the fever spikes again."

"I'm his girlfriend, Alex – I think I deserve to at least see him."

Sensing a lost battle, Alex merely shrugged again and gestured vaguely in the direction that Gary's room was in. "If you insist," he muttered.

Anna stepped around him and headed down the hallway, mildly surprised that he wasn't putting up any sort of fight to keep her from going in there. She had been completely taken by surprise to see him outside of the room in the first place; it would have been very much like Alex to stay in that seat next to the bed for two straight days just to make sure that Gary came through alright. It amazed her at how much Alex loved him as a son and Anna would be the last person to take that away from him, but she was his girlfriend, she was the one who belonged at his side. On top of that, she had screwed up and she was determined to make it up to him and if that meant staying with him as he puked for hours on end, then so be it; she had a strong stomach, after all.

She paused outside of the room that she knew to be Gary's, wondering briefly if it was best to be the one in there after the way he had treated her so coolly the night before. The thought was pushed out of her mind fairly quickly; if Gary was sleeping, then what would it matter? She opened the door slowly and carefully closed it behind her, taking care not to awake her sleeping boyfriend. Quietly approaching the bed, she was surprised to see how pale he was; being so taken aback and hurt by his cold attitude the previous day, she hadn't really taken a close look at him. The bandage covering his forearm was startlingly large and she had to wonder how she hadn't noticed it on her first visit; his other arm had several marks from needles and the IV was still in place. She noticed that the heart monitor had been turned off and its absence seemed to amplify how bad he had been early on; this realization shook her and she had to kneel next to the bed as she suddenly felt a bit faint.

She gently grasped his uninjured hand and pressed a small kiss against it, surprised when Gary didn't even stir. She stayed kneeling for several minutes, simply watching him sleep, reassured by the steady rhythm of his soft breathing until she felt that she could stand without feeling dizzy. Placing a hand against his cheek, she was startled by how warm his skin felt and knew that Alex had been right when he said how sick Gary was. She kissed his forehead and affectionately nuzzled his cheek, smiling a bit when he stirred at the movement; as long as he showed some acknowledgement of her presence, she wasn't too worried.

Settling down on the seat that Alex had occupied the day before, Anna watched Gary for a long while, silently thinking. She was relieved that he was doing alright, though she was still upset that he was ill. She felt better, calmer, now that she was at his side; it felt natural for her to be there – a feeling that she couldn't quite attribute to being his best friend or his girlfriend. It was something deeper that gave her that calmed feeling and she had a suspicion that it was a certain four-letter word that she would have scoffed at only a few short years ago. Deep down, she knew it was love that was keeping her there and was helping her keep her head, but she still felt that using the term "love" made the whole thing seem cheesy.

After awhile, Alex returned with Nicole and Rachael in tow, the two adults carrying cups of coffee presumably from the cafeteria while her still-pale sister held a small bottle of juice that Anna figured her mother had forced her to get. During her stay at her mother's house, she had noticed that Rachael only seemed to drink water unless her mother insisted on something else; and even then, the drinks only seemed to be something along the lines of tea or juice – never anything like wine or soda. Now that she thought of it, Anna noticed that she had hardly even seen her sister eat; it seemed like she moved her food around more than she actually ate it.

Watching as Rachael's eyes lingered unflinchingly on the place where the IV was connected to Gary's arms, Anna wondered if perhaps something actually _was _wrong with her sister; Rachael had always been squeamish when it came to needles, much like Gary. Anna may have had a profound dislike for her sister, but she couldn't _hate_ the girl, no matter what had occurred between them; there was too much of a connection between them, whether it be because of the fact that they were twins or because of what they had gone through together as children.

She glanced from her sister over to her boyfriend and kept her eyes on his pale face. 'Do you know something I don't, Gary?' she thought to herself as Nicole hovered over him the way a mother would with her own child.

--- --- ---

The hours passed slowly for Anna and, despite being worried enough to remain by Gary's side, she was rather bored. Nicole had driven Alex back to the Oak mansion so that he could shower and get some sleep though she promised to return sometime later that day. Rachael had wordlessly gone with them, which was unsurprising to Anna. May had stopped by for a bit with Andrew and Damien but they had left after a short while to get dinner.

Gary had slept most of the time that she had been present, waking a few times just long enough to be sick before quickly falling back into an exhausted sleep. The fever seemed to peak at temperatures that were alarmingly high to her every couple of hours though the nurses who had been tracking it assured her that the peaks were farther apart and were lower than they had been the night before – a vast improvement in his condition. She had been there whenever he was awake, being more of a comforting presence than anything else as there wasn't much she could do other than rub his back or hold his hair out the way. After awhile of being there, she had asked one of the nurses to get her a bowl of cool water and a small towel; since then she had been placing the damp cloth on his forehead, something she assumed to at least make him a bit more comfortable. It had been over two hours since Gary had last awoken and Anna was a bit surprised that he had slept this long. A glance at her cell phone told her that it was nearly six in the evening and she realized that she was growing hungry.

Only a few minutes after she realized her growing hunger, the door opened and Anna looked up to find her mother in the door way with a bag of food from the vending machines. Nicole came in and sat down next to her, staying quiet for a moment while Anna fished through the bag and pulled out a bag of chips and a bottle of soda.

"How's he doing?" she finally asked as her daughter munched on the potato chips that she had picked out.

Anna shrugged lightly. "When he's not sleeping, he's puking, and vice-versa. I'm surprised he hadn't started again, honestly…"

Nicole nodded and let her eyes flicker over Gary's sleeping form, she noticed the bowl of water with the cloth next to it and smiled. "Been playing doctor, I see," she observed.

"_What_? Mom, it's to help the fever."

"Anna, I've raised two children; I know what you were doing. What did you _think_ I was talking about? The perverted children's game?"

"Don't ask," Anna replied flatly, a bit embarrassed that she had misconstrued her mother's words the way she had. She sighed after a moment and ran a hand over the braid that held her hair away from her face. "I wish there was something else I could do," she admitted quietly.

Nicole looked from her to Gary and back again, immediately understanding what she was talking about. "Just being here is the biggest part, Ann; as long as you're not running out of here like a woman possessed when he's sick, I think you're good.

Anna laughed at the comment and shook her head slightly. "Yeah, Ma, I'm going to go running with my stomach of steel. Riiight," she sarcastically drew out the final word to emphasize her point. "I had to help Chris and Shawn clean up the snake last night, I think I can handle it."

"Chris is Bella's boyfriend?" Anna nodded in response. "And Shawn is Gary's ex?"

"Andrew is."

"He's the blonde one?"

"They're both blonde, Ma."

"Well, what do I know – I don't hang out with you kids! What happened with the snake?"

"Umbreon butchered it; it was such a mess. We ended up putting it in a big cooler in the lab freezer for Professor Oak to decide what to do with it."

"How pleasant," Nicole muttered. "Speaking of Umbreon, where is she?"

"In her pokeball; she doesn't like seeing her daddy sick."

Nicole grinned at her daughter's words and sent her a sly glance. "You two are adorable with her –"

"You should see Loki," Anna interrupted. "He doesn't leave Gary alone… and Gary's great with him." Her voice had taken on a dreamy sort of quality while she gazed at him with an unmistakable fondness that made Nicole's grin widen.

"You are _so_ in love with him, it's not even funny," she said without losing her grin. Anna shot her an exasperated glance and she merely pressed on. "You want to marry him –"

"Ma," Anna began in a warning tone but Nicole paid her daughter no heed.

"And have his babies and –"

"Mother!" Both women were laughing at this point, despite the way Anna shook her head in annoyance at her mother's teasing words. She couldn't exactly deny that Nicole's words were true but she had a feeling that the future of her relationship now depended on how Gary decided to act towards her once he was feeling better. Though she knew that his coldness was not unwarranted, she had been rather thrown and hurt by it, but something told her that everything would work out. She wasn't particularly worried, though she was certainly a bit embarrassed by the blush that had spread across her cheeks as her mother spoke.

"You're not at all afraid of the future," Nicole observed after sobering.

Anna glanced at her curiously. "I'm afraid of one of us screwing up," she replied slowly as she thought. "But, no, I'm not afraid of getting married or whatever… And I think Gary's gotten over his little fear of commitment, too."

Nicole nodded thoughtfully and mulled her words over before speaking so as to not set off her daughter. "That's good, Anna, but that's only part of it. You've still got a lot of growing up to do – you can't just go running off and being stubborn whenever you get annoyed at something Gary does and you can't keep getting pissed off over little things like him being worried about someone he used to be close to. You really need to keep that in mind or you guys are going to end up failing."

"I've been trying," Anna said quietly, dropping her gaze to her hands as she turned her bottle of soda over in her hands.

"Then why did it take you so long to come back around this week?"

"I was embarrassed! And I tried calling Gary yesterday to talk but his phone was in his room when I went over there yesterday so he was probably in the lab when I called. I screwed up this time, I know. There's not exactly a whole lot I can do about that though," she added bitterly as an afterthought.

"That's for sure," Nicole replied dryly. "On the topic of growing up, your GED test is in two weeks –"

"I know, it's two or three days before Ash's birthday. Michelle's driving me since it's up in Cerulean, May and Bella might come so we can all go to the beach."

"You'll have to pick up your car from your cousin's garage when you go up there." A grin spread across Anna's face at that; she had been impatiently waiting for her cousin to finish working on the Firebird that her mother had gotten her for Christmas. "Well, I'd better head home to check on your sister and start dinner; I just wanted to bring you some food and give you some company," Nicole said and stood up from her seat rather suddenly, prompting Anna to roll her eyes. She leaned over to give her daughter a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before heading over to Gary and pressing a kiss against his forehead. "He really doesn't feel too warm right now, Anna, his fever's probably starting to break – I asked Alex earlier and, according to him, it tends to break pretty suddenly. Maybe your baby will be all better tomorrow," she added with a small wink that caused Anna to roll her eyes yet again.

--- --- ---

The room was quiet and dark when Gary's eyes fluttered open. He had no way of knowing what time it was, but something told him it was early; his inner clock was rather convinced that this was around the time he usually went running. He felt a bit confused by that particular fact considering he had a distinct suspicion that he had not slept for long; a few hours at most but certainly not too long. That, of course, didn't explain why it was so dark and quiet. What confused him even more was how he was feeling – for the first time since originally waking up in the hospital, he didn't feel that sickly chill or overwhelming nausea or even the dizziness that had been plaguing him earlier; in fact, he felt fine. His throat wasn't even as sore as it had been earlier from vomiting so much over the past many hours. He sat up with a yawn and winced as the pain in his arm finally hit him as he became more awake.

The pain was much stronger than it had been, as though his pain medication had worn off, and he wondered if maybe the fever had diminished the amount he had felt. He turned his attention to his injured arm and slowly tested the movement in it – moving it sent waves of pain shooting through him but the movement was hardly impeded. His skin felt tight from the stitches and he was again surprised by the amount of stitches in his arm; he was tempted to pull the large bandage off and count them but resisted the urge. Somehow, that seemed like a bad idea.

Taking a moment to look around the room, Gary was almost disappointed to find nothing breaking up the monotony of the typical hospital décor consisting of white walls and machinery. He was bored just looking around. Expecting to find Alex, he was surprised to see Anna in the chair next the bad, apparently fast asleep. Bewilderment flooded him for a moment as to why Anna was there but he quickly remembered that her quiet presence had been there for the past… He couldn't even begin to think of how long she had been there though he knew that she had replaced Alex for the past several times he had been sick. The fever combined with the medications had created a haze that made the entire stay seem foggy, with the exception being the time May had come with Anna and Damien; that part he remembered well, that had been before he got worse. He had only been sick once before then but, as was often the case, the condition had to worsen before it could get better, and his fever had climbed in severity during the night while Alex was there before coming down gradually during the day while Anna was there. While Gary had often slipped straight into exhausted slumber after waking up only to throw up whatever happened to be in his stomach, he could vaguely recall Anna's hands resting on his back or holding back his hair while her voice murmured soothing words. He had a few disjointed and fuzzy memories of her placing gentle kisses on his forehead between holding something cold, which he now presumed had been a damp cloth, against his face.

As he focused on Anna's dozing form, a wave of guilt washed over him before he could stop it. It was fairly obvious that she had intended on at least apologizing when she came with Damien and May, and though he felt his coldness was justifiable… There were just some people that he hated to push away these days.

Looking at her, seeing how soundly she was sleeping after apparently staying awake to care for him in his poisoned state, he knew he had been an idiot.

Even after he had pushed her away, she had come right back. And he suspected that coming back to the hospital had been the least of her troubles: getting Alex to allow her to take over his watchful spot at Gary's bedside was surely no easy task, not with how stubborn the man could be. Alex could easily match Gary's own stubbornness, to the point where people who didn't know any better could mistake them for father and son; to an extent, Gary was sure that Alex's constant presence in his childhood and his teen years had molded his own attitude. Of course, Alex wasn't there and thus Gary found no reason to focus his thoughts on him while his girlfriend was present.

Without exactly thinking, Gary moved to stand up to go over to Anna but the movement jarred the needle in his arm enough to make him hiss in pain. Groaning, he leaned back against the pillows and looked over at Anna again; not knowing what time it was or how long he had been there was driving him absolutely insane. Just as he was about to call her name, the door opened and one of the nurses entered the room. She looked surprised to see him awake but recovered quickly and gave him a smile that he returned; it was the same nurse that had been in and out of his room when his grandfather and Alex were there. And the same one who had stopped by while his sister and Damien were there with Anna. "I didn't expect to find you awake – it's only seven-thirty," she commented cheerfully as she set about checking his vitals. "How are you feeling?"

"It's _only_ seven-thirty?" Gary echoed, feeling a bit more confused than he just had. Either it had been an _extremely_ long night or he had pretty much slept through an entire day and night. "What day is it?"

"Sunday. You'll most likely be going home later on today."

"Already?" Somehow it seemed like he should have had to stay longer.

She nodded as she looked over his chart. "You haven't been sick since around four yesterday afternoon and your fever broke around seven last night; blood pressure and pulse are normal, as long as there are no signs of infection and nothing happens over the next few hours, you're good to go. I just need to check your stitches and change the bandages." Gary stayed quiet as she carefully peeled the large bandage off of his arm and checked the stitches, waiting patiently for her to finish. "No signs of infection and you're pretty much out of the danger zone; I don't think I've ever heard of an infection occurring more than forty-eight hours after a snake bite."

"So then I'll be able to go home later?"

"Looks like it. I'll be back in an hour or so, unless you need anything?"

Gary shook his head and looked over at Anna with a small smile once the nurse left the room. In a few hours he would be back home with her and, after being away from her for nearly a week followed by a few days of being hospitalized, he wanted nothing more than to curl up in his bed with her and perhaps Loki and Umbreon. The thought of simply relaxing with Anna and the two canines warmed him considerably; one thing was for sure, being in love with the girl was slowly causing the walls that he had erected around himself long ago to crumble and he had to admit that he wasn't the least bit sorry to see them go.

--- --- ---


	60. Chapter 60: Homecoming Part 1

**Beyond The Walls**

Sorry for such a delay but writing this fic has been rather difficult lately and I really wanted to do one of my larger updates for once. Enjoy.

Chapter 60: Homecoming Part 1

The house was still alarmingly quiet, even though it was already Sunday afternoon. Granted the house was fairly empty as Chris and Chelsea had gone out for lunch with Bella and Michelle while Andrew and Tracey had disappeared for the afternoon; May still couldn't get used to the lack of background noise as she fixed the simplest thing she could think of for lunch while she and Damien conversed in the kitchen. Since Friday night, the two had managed to sneak a few small kisses when no one else was around but had stuck with the decision to simply see where things went. Despite this, there was a certain sadness in the air as they both knew that Damien and Alex would be leaving in only a few short hours.

May glanced over at the clock on the wall to find that it was only about three in the afternoon; with a bored sigh, she turned her attention back to the stove and the grilled cheese sandwiches she was cooking. In the distance, she could hear the front door open and close but ignored it, figuring it was simply someone returning from the day's trip; had she known that Alex had returned from his rather quick trip to the hospital, she would not have been so surprised to hear a familiar voice speak up from the doorway a few moments later.

"Oh, yay – food that'll make me sick. Isn't it kind of your job to make sure your little brother doesn't starve?"

She turned quickly from the stove to find Gary leaning against the wall with a faint smirk. Alex had mentioned that he would probably be over the effects of the bite sometime that day but she certainly had not expected her brother to be back home so early. "Gary…"

Gary grinned at her surprised response. "Not exactly your brightest comeback," he replied dryly as he crossed the room to sit at the table across from Damien.

"Nice to see that getting poisoned hasn't affected your ability to be a smartass," Damien said with a smile. "A bit of a surprise considering you were out like a light yesterday when we saw you. Do you even remember anything from yesterday?"

"Not really," Gary muttered, leaning back in his seat lazily. Despite feeling somewhat more like himself, he was still a bit tired as the painkillers and the antibiotics the doctor had given him made him woozy and absolutely killed his appetite. It didn't help that he had hardly eaten since Friday morning, something that left him rather shaky and made him feel even weaker than he already was.

Despite how clear-headed he had been upon waking that morning, the events of the day were still foggy, though Gary figured that had more to do with how little he had done than with his actual health. He and Anna had talked a bit; she had apologized for the way she had acted all week, and though Gary hadn't quite forgiven her for it, he had thanked her for being there and had smartly apologized for setting her off in the first place. There was a slight awkwardness between them and Gary had to admit that he wasn't sure who was to blame for it and, for that reason, he passed it off as something that would dissipate over the course of a day or two.

He stood up after a moment and moved to leave the room, saying something about finding Andrew. As he left the room, May turned and caught Damien's eye with a rather confused expression upon her face.

"Well, that was…"

"Unexpected," May finished for Damien.

"Yeah. How long before we hear some sort of instrument?"

May groaned and wearily rubbed her face, she had no doubt in her mind that her brother would immediately try playing something complicated on piano. "He's going to tear open his stitches," she muttered.

"Then let him," Damien suggested. She sent him a sudden glare and he merely shrugged it off. "There's not really anything you can do to prevent it – let him learn the hard way."

"You're not going to let me fuss over him, are you?" May asked with a small sigh as she turned off the stove and plated to two sandwiches.

"No, I'm not. Instead, I'm going to distract you and hope that Andrew has enough sense to keep him from doing anything too stupid."

"And how, exactly, do you plan on doing that?" she asked as she sat down next to him at the table.

"By doing this," he replied, cupping her face in his hands suddenly and pressing his lips against hers. With her brother back home and mostly out of harm's way, she was much less hesitant to return the kiss and Damien was quick to catch on to the change. The kiss deepened slowly but consistently and May found herself melting into it without thinking too much about it.

"Well, it's about fucking time."

"Gary! I'm going to kill you!"

Damien was left laughing as May suddenly pulled away at Gary's unexpected return to the kitchen and took off after him down the hallway. He could hear the two siblings laughing and calling threats to each other until footsteps sounded on the stairs and May appeared in the doorway once more. He couldn't help but shake his head as she straightened her shirt and ran her fingers through her hair; if she was willing to participate in the usual sibling antics then maybe she wasn't _too_ overly concerned with Gary. It was a thought that made him smile and immediately kiss her once more as she sat down next to him.

--- --- ---

Still laughing, Gary leaned against the wall partway up the stairs as he tried to catch his breath. As much as he enjoyed annoying and baiting his sister, the short run from the kitchen to the stairs had taken his breath away and left him far more shaky than he had been. Taking a few deep breaths, he slid down the wall to sit down on the step below him; he closed his eyes and rested his head atop his knees as a wave of dizziness threatened to overcome him. The sound of someone's footsteps echoing on the wooden floor of the hallway forced him to raise his head as Alex came into view. The other man paused as he took in the sight of Gary sitting on the stairs and a look of concern quickly flowed over his features despite the reassuring smile that Gary gave him.

"Gary, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Alex," he muttered in response as Alex climbed the stairs quickly to join him. "Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?"

"_Yes_, I was just messing around with May and got a bit out of breath. I'm fine," he added at Alex's doubtful look.

"What did you do to get so out of breath?"

"The usual," Gary replied with a small shrug. "Baited her and then ran when she threatened to kill me."

"And you wonder why people worry about you so much when you're doing stupid things like this," Alex sighed tiredly as he helped Gary back up to his feet. "Let me guess, you went running after May gave you stitches back in September as well?"

"No, actually," Gary replied as he shrugged off Alex's helping hand. "I had sex with Anna instead."

"Gary!"

"_What_?"

Alex glared at him for a moment, stopped a few steps below Gary on the stairwell as the teenager looked down at him a mildly annoyed expression. "I would smack you if I wasn't worried it would make you throw up all over me," he groaned as he continued climbing the stairs once more.

"It would probably make me pass out, in all honesty."

Alex sighed again and shook his head. "Straight to bed, Gary – I'll bring you something to eat in a few minutes."

"Chill out, Alex," Gary warned softly as he paused in front of Andrew's bedroom door.

"Last I remember, your bed is not in Andrew's room."

"Maybe I want to steal my ex-boyfriend back from Tracey."

"Gary…"

"Or cuddle; Andrew's very good at that."

"Some things never change," Alex groaned. He shook his head and turned to disappear down the stairs once more as Gary knocked on Andrew's door.

He could hear music playing, as was the norm for Andrew whether the door was closed or not. The stereo was quickly silenced as soon as he knocked, indicating that the blonde was either at his desk next to the stereo or on his bed directly across from it with the remote.

"What?" Andrew's irritated voice called through the door and Gary had to grin. Chances were that he was on his bed and most likely not alone.

"I've been in the hospital for the past two days and all you can ask is 'what?' Come on, you asshole, is that any way to treat your best friend?"

Silence greeted his response for a brief moment before Andrew's voice replied again. "When did you get back?" The surprise in his voice didn't escape Gary's notice, nor did the sound of weight being moved on the bed beyond the door.

"About fifteen minutes ago," Gary replied, slipping his cell phone out of his pocket for a moment to check the time as he did so.

"Give me five minutes!"

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Yes!" Andrew and Tracey's voices called simultaneously, causing Gary to laugh and shake his head slightly.

"Take your time, I'll be in the lab," he called back, recounting how annoying sudden time restraints made intimate moments with Anna whenever they were unexpectedly interrupted.

After Andrew's swift reply, Gary turned and headed back down the stairs, taking them two at a time, ignoring the two occupants of the kitchen as he made his way down the corridor to the laboratory. Shawn was already in the lab, working on something at one of the lab benches with Alex's help, but Gary barely got a chance to glance at them before a furry blur suddenly bolted towards him and began bouncing around him while pawing at his legs. Laughing softly, he bent down to pick up Loki, who immediately nuzzled his neck affectionately before turning his attention to the bandage that covered Gary's forearm. Gently scolding the curious puppy, he shifted Loki in his arms, effectively distracting the pup, who quickly turned his attention to Gary's hair, nipping at it as his owner shook it out of his face with another soft scold as he made his way over to where Alex and Shawn were perched on stools.

Shawn greeted him quickly, asking about the hospital and how he was feeling as Gary set Loki down on the lab bench and pulled himself up to sit next to where they were working, wincing in pain as he did so, before pulling the growlithe back into his lap before he could get into any trouble. Curious, he inquired as to what Alex and Shawn were looking over and was surprised to find out that Shawn was completing the final report for the necropsy on the dead arbok with Alex's help. No one had informed Gary of the fate of the snake who had bitten him and, as such, he was rather surprised and it took a moment to figure out what Alex meant when he referred to the snake as the 'dead' one.

"It's _dead_?" Gary asked incredulously, narrowing his eyes as he glanced from the report to Alex.

"Yep," Shawn replied dispassionately. "Professor Oak decided to let us do a necropsy on it to give us practice with the paperwork since we never had to do that for the dissections at school."

"How did it die though? I didn't think Umbreon bit it _that_ hard."

"Ripped the intestines open – we probably could have saved it if we worked fast enough but we were a bit distracted by you and Chelsea. I'm sure you're a bit happy to know that the snake that bit you so badly is dead."

"Not really," Gary spoke up quickly, shaking his head in response to his friend's words.

"No?" Alex asked, raising his eyebrows a bit in surprise as Gary spoke.

"No, it was acting instinctually – it's kind of hard to repress millions of years of evolution when your brain isn't capable of anything beyond the ability to learn and recognize attacks and commands," Gary pointed out, noticing the way Alex nodded in agreement before going back to looking over the report.

"Yeah, but it caused you to be stuck in the hospital for two days."

Gary merely shrugged in response and turned his attention back to Loki, who was squirming relentlessly in his grasp. Smiling at the way the puppy nipped at his fingers whenever he tapped the end of Loki's nose, he looked up when a door on the far side of the lab opened to reveal his grandfather. The professor appeared a bit surprised to see his grandson back and in the lab so soon after his accident but he quickly recovered and gave Gary a stern look that only caused him to grin.

Correctly interpreting the stern look for being because of him sitting on one of the lab benches, Gary replied simply. "I can't stand for too long – I'll get dizzy."

"I'll let it slide this time since the counters are clean –"

"Even though this one got a good amount of guts on it," Shawn interrupted with a playful smile that he sent Gary's way.

"Bite me," Gary replied without even looking at the blonde boy while he went back to scratching Loki behind the ears.

Professor Oak smiled lightly at the exchange but kept his attention on his grandson. "I figured you would be back today, how are you feeling? You look much better then you did yesterday morning."

"People tend to look a bit healthier when they aren't puking their guts out," Gary pointed out, giving his grandfather a significant look while Shawn and Alex each gave a small laugh at the dry response.

"Nice to see that you're back to your normal self –"

"I'll say; you think you could stop passing out in my arms? It kinda freaks me out, you know." The occupants of the lab looked up to see Andrew crossing the clean tile floor to where the four people were gathered. He appeared slightly disheveled with messy hair and a rumpled t-shirt but looked thrilled to see his best friend back home.

Alex glanced between the two teens with a slightly confused expression on his face as Gary replied. "Then stop being there whenever I'm in some sort of life-threatening situation," he shot back with a dry laugh.

"Life-threatening situation?" Alex echoed. "You mean, you knew that it wasn't alcohol poisoning back in July, Andrew?"

Andrew nodded and Gary sighed imploringly. "Changing the subject – where's Umbreon?"

"Anna has her," Alex replied. His attention remained on the blonde boy as he leaned against the counter with his arms crossed tightly across his chest, rubbing his wrists slightly against the fabric of his shirt in a nervous fashion that Gary easily recognized, knowing the cause of the scars etched upon Andrew's pale flesh. "Changing the subject back – why didn't anyone else learn about this until October?"

"Alex, please; I just got out of the hospital, I don't need to be reminded of why I've been there before."

"Don't drag me into this – my boyfriend asked me to keep a personal secret and I did. I'm not the person to discuss this with," Andrew said firmly with a quick glance at Gary, receiving a thankful smile in response. He returned the smile easily, enjoying the ever so slight blush that colored Gary's face at the word 'boyfriend.'

Alex turned back to Gary and his smile quickly faded as he looked down at the puppy in his lap. Loki had calmed down rather suddenly and was peering between the people curiously as he sensed the tension between them. "Alex, please…"

"Gary…" Alex sighed softly and a hurt expression took over his eyes. "I was at the hospital as soon as I found out you were there; you lied to my face about it and you didn't even tell me about the suicide attempt – I had to find out second-hand from your grandfather."

"Another time," Gary said softly. Now was not the time he wanted to devote to explaining to Alex why he had kept his attempt on his life a secret.

"Will you please just tell me why you insisted on keeping something like that such a secret from _me_ of all people?"

Being tired and rather strung out from the lack of food and privacy over the past few times, Gary slid off of the lab bench in annoyance and pushed past Andrew as he made his way back to the house. "Not now, Alex," he snapped as he passed the man with Loki still in his arms.

He let the door echo loudly behind him as he meandered along the hallway back to the stairwell and then upstairs towards his bedroom while the four remaining people in the lab were left in a sudden and uncomfortable silence.

Professor Oak sighed softly after a moment and shook his head before breaking the silence. "Alex, I hate to break it to you, but you really need to work on your tact," he spoke up in an attempt to lighten the tense air.

--- --- ---

Gary laid down with a soft sigh watching out of the corner of his eye as Loki burrowed under the many pillows until he was curled beneath the pillow next to the one his trainer's head was resting on. He had already been tired but playing with May and then dealing with Alex had taken up the last of his energy. After being stuck in a rather uncomfortable hospital bed, the large canopy bed was a massive relief, if only for its familiarity and the privacy that it provided. The puppy was asleep within minutes yet, despite his tiredness, Gary found that sleep eluded him as he lay there staring at the dark curtains that were drawn around the bed to shut out any light coming through the windows.

His body was simply exhausted but his mind was spinning with thoughts that refused to go away. Alex's sudden concern with the event that had caused him to move home in the first place, though warranted, was rather annoying. Gary knew that he would eventually have to sit down with Alex and explain absolutely everything that had led up to that point or, rather, how everything had spiraled downward until he came to that last resort. In truth, he wasn't quite yet ready for it just yet. Talking to Alex had only become more difficult as Gary had grown older and more stubborn while Alex had kept his same mentality over the years; in recent months, it had become downright hellish for the most part but something told him that once everything had been said and he proved to the older man that he was no longer a child, then things would get better.

Either way, even if he had been ready to discuss it, Alex had chosen the wrong time to bring it up. That part couldn't be denied.

A soft knock on the door interrupted his thoughts and his first suspicion was that Alex was there but it was a different voice that called his name through the door. Sweeping the curtains aside he sat up and called to the other person to come inside, smiling slightly when Tracey entered and closed the door gently behind him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly once he reached the bed.

"Tired and sore," Gary answered honestly with a small shrug, earning a faint smile from Tracey for the comment.

"I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to come by, I had to help out with the lab on Friday and then take care of Andrew yesterday," Tracey replied apologetically.

Gary shrugged again. "You didn't miss much."

"That's what May told me. I'm glad you're okay, by the way; I just wanted to see how you were doing."

A small smile curved Gary's lips at that but it was a sad one. He had realized several weeks earlier that he and Tracey had become distant ever since everyone had moved into the house and it left him disappointed and feeling as though he had almost lost a friend. Looking back on the time when he had moved home, he realized that Tracey had gone out of his way to befriend him and, although Tracey was certainly looking for a deeper relationship than Gary could provide, he appreciated the gesture.

"How are things going with Andrew?" he asked, mostly to provide conversation but partially out of curiosity as he hadn't really heard much about the relationship in recent weeks.

"They're going well," Tracey said softly with a touch of trepidation that made Gary question his honesty.

"What's going on?"

"I guess we both wanted things to go a bit slower than they are, which is, I guess, what happens when you start things casually and then suddenly end up living and working together… Sexual tension just kind of gets in the way." Tracey shook his head and allowed a genuine smile to spread across his face. "Other than that, things are going great. Everything just feels natural with Andrew."

Gary gave him a small smirk. "I figured that; that's why I told you to sleep with him and why I told him to date you."

"Why?"

"Because it seemed right… You're a pokemon watcher and Andrew's really into behavior and all. You both like to draw and you're both good at it, you both like pokemon, you both like working in a lab. But you're still kind of opposites." Gary paused and frowned, turning his attention to the snoozing growlithe next to him for a moment before speaking again, much more quietly than before. "I was also trying to distance myself from both of you… Things between us moved so quickly that it scared me and things between me and Andrew have always been sexual – for obvious reasons – I was just worried that I would mess things up with Anna. I never really thought about it until recently but whatever."

Tracey laughed quietly. "The medication is making you really honest, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's affecting me the way alcohol does, which is probably why I'm so tired."

"I guess I'll let you go to sleep then," Tracey replied, making his way to the door as he spoke. He paused at the door and turned back to the bed with a small smile that held a teasing edge. "I'm glad your insecurities forced you to hook us up, Gary. It might not be perfect, but maybe one day it can grow to be like what you and Anna have."

Gary returned Tracey's smile and spoke up before the older boy could leave the room. "Tell Andrew that you think it's going too fast. He really likes you, I'm pretty sure he'll slow down a bit."

Tracey nodded and left the room closing the door behind him while Gary tugged the curtains closed and laid back down. After awhile of lying there, he eventually slipped off, waking briefly when Alex and Damien came in to say goodbye before leaving and sleeping straight through May's attempts to wake him for dinner. He awoke sometime late that night to find Umbreon curled at the foot of the bed and a body pressed against his own with an arm draped over his waist.

For a moment that lasted far too long, he was confused, trapped in the memory of the first night after his last hospital visit. That night had been one of the worst he had ever experienced – tears had flown seemingly endlessly, no matter how hard he tried to subdue them; he had yearned for the blade unlike ever before, and he had fallen asleep to whispered promises that everything would be alright in the end. Yet his brain quickly distinguished between reality and the distant memory: the hand that rested on his hip was accented with a ruby ring and lime green nails rather than black nail polish; the hair that draped over his shoulder was a sleek dye job of black and purple, not tangled blonde tendrils; and the body the was pressed against his own possessed curves that Andrew could never dream to have.

A small smile crossed Gary's face as he took in the sight of Anna's sleeping form but he found himself unable to stay in the bed with her, not after his sudden memory. Slipping out of the bed, he silently picked up Loki and left the room, knowing that the curious pup was likely to notice his absence and wake Anna in his attempt to find Gary. The entire house was dark and silent as he crept downstairs, noticing that the clock in the kitchen announced the time as nearly three in the morning. Intending on just getting something to drink, Gary paused when he noticed that the back door was slightly ajar; peering outside, he could see the moon illuminating a familiar figure sitting on the steps of the porch. After fetching a glass of water, he stepped out on the porch, set Loki down so that he could join the other growlithe that was dozing under the table out there, and joined his friend on the steps.

Andrew glanced up at the sound of the door opening and smiled when Gary sat down next to him. "Medication must've worn off," he observed. "You were out like a light when I went in there, usually I'm the one to sleep through just about anything, not you."

Gary ignored the comment and leaned back to peer up at the stars. "I take it you couldn't sleep."

"Insomnia," Andrew agreed. "I'm turning into you before you moved back here."

At that comment, Gary groaned and rolled his eyes. "That's one of the reasons I came out here in the first place."

"You remembered it all, didn't you?"

"For a minute, I almost thought I was back in bed with you the next night," Gary admitted, not needing to explain anymore for Andrew to understand what he meant.

"I felt so bad for you that night," Andrew muttered and Gary gave him a curious glance. "I knew what you were going through but I didn't know what to do to… I just felt totally helpless – not to mention you scared the shit out of me… That was all I could think about when you passed out in the lab and then waiting for news in the hospital was pure hell!" He paused and looked over at Gary, who was now gazing over the lawn with an unreadable expression on his face. "You seriously terrified me."

"I think I would have been pretty scared too, if I wasn't in so much pain when it happened."

"Not surprising." Andrew sighed and crossed his arms in his usual nervous fashion, unconsciously leaning closer to his friend. "I guess you were pretty pissed at Alex earlier, huh?"

"Yeah," Gary agreed distantly.

"I can't believe he brought that up then; your grandfather even told him that his tact sucks."

"About time someone told him that." Andrew didn't reply and the silence that followed Gary's comment was awkward enough that Gary couldn't help but glance over at him. The blonde boy kept his face carefully impassive and Gary sighed. "You think I should have talked to him about it, don't you?"

Andrew shook his head distractedly and avoided his friend's eyes. "I'm not saying anything; I hate being dragged into these things between you two."

"And I hate being dragged into fights between you and Nik –"

"You drag yourself into those, Gary," Andrew interrupted tiredly. He ran a hand through his hair in an irritated motion and glanced back at the puppies who had curled up together under the table behind them. "You and Alex both drag me in without thinking… He was really worried about you when you moved back home – he kept asking me about the night that you supposedly got alcohol poisoning. I'm pretty sure he knew it wasn't true; it was like he was trying to catch me off guard so that I would tell him the truth. Everyone else was worried too. I think Damien figured it out on his own – hell, that's probably why Alex was so worried; I wouldn't be surprised if he told him."

Gary glanced at him again and then lowered his gaze to his lap. In the months since he had moved back to Pallet, he had scarcely thought of what effect his seemingly random move had on his friends. Looking back, he realized that leaving with no real explanation had been foolhardy; perhaps he could have saved himself from much self torment if he had told his friends. Sighing softly, he pushed the thoughts out of his head – the past was gone, there was nothing he could do about it now and thinking about it would do nothing. He had, after all, explained the suicide attempt at his birthday party and the explanation had been accepted easily with no hard feelings from anyone.

He looked up from his lap and met Andrew's eyes without hesitation as he spoke. "I can't do anything about that now, Andrew," he replied with a small shrug.

"I know that." The words themselves seemed final and straightforward but there was a slight infliction in his tone that told Gary that something was going unsaid.

"What do you think I should do?"

"I'm only telling you if you promise not to bite my head off," Andrew warned.

"I'm too tired to bite your head off."

"In that case… I think you should talk to Alex the next time you see him and tell him everything."

"I was going to tell him eventually," Gary replied softly.

"When you felt ready for it?" Gary nodded and Andrew shook his head slightly. "You're never going to feel ready for that… And that talk is already overdue, man. Long overdue."

"Why?"

"Because," Andrew began slowly. "Alex tries really hard to be there for you – I know he has no sense of when to back down," he interjected before Gary could give any argument. "I think he deserves to know the details. Besides, I think your relationship could use the, uh, bonding experience. Seriously," he added at Gary's unconvinced look. "Everyone who knew you two were jealous of your relationship when you lived with him and Monica – since you moved out of their place, your relationship with him keeps getting worse and worse. Every now and then, you guys are like you used to be but most of the time it's like you guys are walking on eggshells around each other. He doesn't know what to say so he tries lecturing you and you refuse to see that, so you constantly argue with him instead! It's ridiculous watching you two idiots!"

"I get the point, Andrew."

"Are you actually going to talk to him?"

Gary heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. "Sure," he groaned, the one word showing exactly how displeased he was with the idea.

"Good, I won't it bring it up for now." He smirked and poked his friend in the ribs suddenly. "Stop being so grouchy, you pussy!"

Gary laughed and shoved Andrew's shoulder hard enough to make the older teen whine loudly; Andrew pushed back just as hard and within seconds, the two were wrestling on the porch while their two puppies looked on in confusion. It was obvious to Gary that Andrew was being far more careful with him than usual, especially considering the way he avoided his bandaged arm. A few minutes of laughing and hitting passed and Gary found himself pinned to the deck with Andrew kneeling over him; they both paused suddenly when they realized that Andrew's hands were resting on Gary's abdomen beneath the fabric of his t-shirt, barely pressing against the bare flesh above the edge of his gym shorts.

The blonde drew away slightly but didn't remove his hands while Gary lay beneath him panting softly with one hand braced against the rough wooden floor and the other tangled in Andrew's hair, grasping the strands tightly. They were close enough that they could easily kiss and the temptation to do so was strong – it was almost an instinct, considering many of their play-fights had led to intimacy in the past. Gary pulled back his hand, letting Andrew's tangled hair slip from between his fingers as he slowly sat up, knowing that he couldn't allow himself to give in to the urge he could feel welling inside of him. Andrew finally moved, sitting back on the ground next to Gary with a sigh as he smoothed the fabric of his black, dragon-adorned pajama pants.

"I guess we can't keep doing this if it's going to make us so horny," he said softly. "Not with Tracey and Anna…"

"You know it's not serious, Andrew," Gary reasoned as he stood up and walked over to where Loki and Odin were sitting.

"I know that – it's just that… Right now, it's so much like last time that, if we kiss, I'm not going to be able to stop there."

Something in Andrew's voice made Gary frown as he hugged Loki to his chest after picking up the pup. "This whole thing really bothered you, didn't it?" Andrew nodded and the movement was awkward, as though he had a hard time admitting it. "I'm sorry," Gary said quietly.

"Don't be," Andrew replied, crossing his arms over the fabric of his Death hoodie. "It's not your fault the snake decided to bite you."

Gary smiled sadly as he took in his friend's closed off posture. It was definitely easy to see that Andrew was not acting like himself and it worried him greatly. He sat down next to him and noticed that Andrew avoided his eyes. "What is it?"

"I hate hospitals… It's like, every time I'm in one, I remember my grandparents dying and I remember that that's when everything changed… Just being there makes me feel like something terrible is about to happen. I get totally terrified, even when I know everything will be fine." He sniffed and wiped his face with the back of his hand, a gesture that caused Gary to set Loki back down and slip an arm around Andrew's waist, pulling him closer towards him.

"Andrew, it's okay; I'm fine and so is everyone else."

"For now," Andrew muttered.

"Don't think like that!" Gary groaned and shook Andrew lightly when the boy's somber expression didn't change. "Come on, snap out of it, Andrew –"

"I'm going to bed, Gary," Andrew interrupted, standing up suddenly and calling his own growlithe over to him as he did so, leaving Gary to stare up at him in surprise.

"Andrew…"

"Look," he sighed softly, turning back to face Gary. "This weekend's been really hard on me and the sooner I can go to sleep and get up for the lab tomorrow, the better. I'm glad you're alright, Gary, really… I just need some time to get over things. See you tomorrow." With that, he turned and entered the kitchen once more.

"Night," Gary called weakly, watching Andrew carefully close the door behind him so that it wouldn't slam and wake anyone up. Another soft sigh escaped him as he leaned back against the railing while Loki climbed into his lap once more, wagging happily for some reason unknown to Gary. "You're lucky dogs are so simple, Loki," he muttered, scratching him behind the ears and smiling faintly as the growlithe's eyes closed in contentment as he did so. "I actually wish Alex was still here," he groaned and stood up, making his way to the door that Andrew had just left through. "It's too late for this, let's go to bed, furball."

--- --- ---

The morning brought about the typical noises of doors opening and closing, voices calling down the corridors of the second floor, footsteps in the hall and on the stairs. It was these noises that woke Gary and, for a moment, he forgot about the past week because of how familiar and normal it was. A dull ache reminded him of the accident and then he remembered it all – particularly his conversation with Andrew. Realizing that the bed was far colder than it usually was in the morning, Gary sat up groggily, noticing that Anna and Loki were both absent. He frowned, usually Anna woke him up before going off to feed Loki or, at least, waited until he was awake and dressed before going downstairs with him. Things definitely were not back to normal, he figured as he dragged himself out of bed and towards the bathroom to shower.

The warm cascade of water had most likely never felt quite so welcome and Gary was reluctant to leave, as though if he stayed in long enough, everyone would be back to normal when he got out. It was a childish wish and he knew it but that didn't change matters in the slightest.

Nearly half an hour later found Gary sitting fully clothed on his bed, carefully pulling away the bandages that had covered his arm while he was in the shower as Umbreon watched. Gary gave a low curse once the bandages were gone; he had, of course, seen the wounds before as they had been uncovered for his first night so that they could be watched for signs of infection. Despite this, he hadn't quite noticed how many stitches were there and he couldn't help but look up at Umbreon with an incredulous look once he was done counting them.

"Forty-two – holy fuck… Next time you bite something, can you _please_ make sure it's not attached to me by three inch fangs?" He stood and returned to the bathroom to throw away the soiled bandages and took a few minutes to search for the clean ones that he knew were hidden in the back of one of the cabinets. They had always been in the medicine cabinet but at some point since September the sight of them had irritated him enough to blindly throw them in a different cabinet beneath the sink on one of the occasions where he had come rather close to cutting himself once more. He regretted not placing them out of sight in a place where he would remember them but he eventually found the box of gauze behind a stack of clean towels, the roll of medical tape behind an old bottle of hair gel that he couldn't believe was still there, and the small pair of scissors in the far corner surrounded by cobwebs that he irritably pushed away.

Heading back into his bedroom, Gary paused when he noticed the way Umbreon was laying with her tail curled close to her body and her eyes cast down at the sheets of the bed, even her long ears drooped limply. It was a downcast position for her, not one he saw often either.

"Aw, 'Bre…" Gary sighed and tossed the bandages on the bed as he kneeled in front of the bed so that he was on the same level as his pokemon. "I was just kidding, girl," he murmured softly, gently stroking her ears in a way that normally made her melt under his touch. The dark creature simply whined and kept her head atop her paws without looking at her trainer, something which worried Gary greatly as she was his most loyal pokemon and was usually quite visibly happy to see him. It wasn't unusual for the canine to act a bit depressed whenever he was sick or injured or even hungover, but this was going a bit far. "Come on, I know you were just trying to help out." Sensing a lost battle when she didn't respond, Gary pressed a kiss against her nose and straightened.

He sat on the bed and leaned against the pillows as he regarded the materials with an odd sense of detachment. It had been months since he'd had to bandage one of his arms and it felt strange to be doing so now, especially since it was not an injury he had caused. The pieces of gauze felt foreign in his hands as he carefully measured the pieces against the angled gashes. The tiny scissors seemed unnaturally heavy in his hand as he methodically cut the strips of gauze to the right size. Shooting a final glance at his downcast pokemon, Gary set about bandaging the stitched wounds.

It was a difficult feat to accomplish one-handed and it always had been, yet he had grown used to it over the course of several years and had become rather good at it. Almost regretfully, he found that it had not grown any harder in the absence of his cutting habits.

"Like riding a bike," he muttered a bit crossly as worked.

"What is?"

Having forgotten that the bedroom door was open, Gary jumped at the sound of a new voice; looking over at the door, he found his grandfather standing in the doorway. "Nothing," he replied hastily. "I was just being morbid," he added under his breath as he struggled with a piece of gauze that refused to stay in place long enough for him to tape it there.

The professor entered the room and casually made his way across to the bed. "Ah. I think I can guess."

"Don't waste your breath," Gary sighed as he concentrated on his task, ignoring his grandfather when he sat down on the bed across from him.

"I figured I would let you know that you don't have to come down to the lab today."

Gary glanced up with a small frown. "Why?"

Professor Oak gave a small shrug and reached across the bed to help Gary with the bandage. "You did just get out of the hospital," he pointed out.

"Grandpa –"

"That's not the only reason," he cut off his grandson's protest before he could continue. "You could obviously use some extra rest after this weekend, anyone would. I figure you and Anna could use some time to yourselves… And I was hoping you could find a chance to talk to your sister."

Gary pulled his arm away as the professor quickly finished the bandaging job and cast an inquiring look towards his grandfather. He'd figured that the old man had heard about his fight with Anna over the week from one person or another, but he was confused as to why he would need to talk to May. "What's up with May?"

"I'm not sure," he replied honestly. "She claims she doesn't feel well today and she's been acting a bit odd since I came home Saturday morning. It just seems like something is really bothering her and I figured talking to you would help since you two are so close. Anyways, there really isn't a lot to do in the lab today; mostly paperwork and I've noticed that you seem particularly uninterested unless it involves the snakes or puppies. Losing your interest in the science side of things?"

"I guess I'll talk to May," Gary agreed, ignoring the last comment.

"I would appreciate that," Professor Oak replied and then went on as though Gary had never interrupted. "I notice that you've been paying more and more attention to the pokemon and less to the other aspects of the lab. Alex tells me that the university is starting a new zoology degree program this August – graduate level, if I recall." Gary closed his eyes briefly, sensing where this conversation was going. "Sinnoh and Johto both have a lot of career opportunities in that sort of field."

"Grandpa, please –"

"I wasn't suggesting anything, I was just talking… I know you've always liked pokemon and you've always been good with them; to be honest, I think you'd be happier working with them than you would be doing research." He paused and took the lack of argument meeting his words as an invitation to go on. "If you want, you could start working more with Ash and Tracey and see if you like that more," he offered and Gary still remained silent. "Not everyone knows what they want to do in life when they're only eighteen. Especially not when they've been pushed into something at an early age. I'll see you later on – try not to tear open the stitches."

Gary nodded faintly, simply to show that he had heard him as he watched his grandfather leave the room after giving Umbreon a quick pat on the head. "Zoology, huh? How about we move back to Pastoria and go to school again, Umbreon?" he asked in a cheerful voice that positively dripped sarcasm once he was certain the professor was out of earshot. "That'll be the day…" Despite the little interest he had in returning to school, Gary couldn't help but be tempted to at least visit the Sinnoh city that he had called home for two years. Sighing in annoyance, he scooped up the bandage materials scattered along his bed and took them back to the bathroom without even bothering to put them away. "Come on, 'Bre, let's go find Anna."

--- --- ---


	61. Chapter 61: Homecoming Part 2

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 61: Homecoming Part 2

It seemed as though everyone had already headed down to the lab by the time Gary and Umbreon made it down there; the only person still in the large tiled room was Anna. She stood facing away from the doorway, gazing out the window at the backyard while three of the puppies played on the floor near the center of the room and didn't look up at the sound of Gary entering the room. Simply glancing her figure over, Gary could tell something was off; the torn jeans and faded Cannibal Corpse shirt was an outfit that she only wore when she didn't feel well, her long hair was still in the loose braid she had worn to bed, and the way her arms were crossed left a hostile aura about her. It was easy for Gary to see that she was unhappy without even having to look at her face and despite the infinite number of possible reasons behind her mood, he was fairly sure he could imagine what was bothering her.

He crossed the room silently, leaving Umbreon to her own devices as she lay down in front of the back door with her eyes on Loki, Freya, and the unnamed pup that belonged to Chelsea. He gingerly touched Anna's shoulder to alert her to his presence and greeted her softly as she turned her head slightly to look at him. If her body language indicated unhappiness, her face certainly screamed it and Gary immediately knew that he wasn't the only one who noticed the distance between them. She was paler than normal and this was only exaggerated by her dark makeup – her eyes were accentuated with heavy liner and black shadow while her lips were darkened with a deep red lipstick. If it weren't for the sadness in her eyes, Gary would have had to fight down a smile at the sight of the makeup; the gothic look had always worked well on her and the result was exotic and eerily sexy.

Anna's greeting was as soft as his own, her voice sounded distant and she quickly returned her gaze to the window though Gary could see her eyes flitting back over to him every so often as he tried to strike up conversation with her. Every response was quiet and strained, brief and stiff, and it left Gary frustrated. He tried for nearly a half hour, covering everything he could think of just to get a true response from his girlfriend – he told her about the mischief Loki had caused in her absence, he had described a particularly interesting battle that occurred between Andrew and Ash the week prior, he told her about seeing Damien and May kiss the afternoon before, he had even told her about the way his grandfather had brought up school earlier that morning – all to no avail.

Finally, he grew sick of her indifference and huffed angrily. "Fuck this," he declared and suddenly spun Anna around by her shoulders, forcefully pressing his lips to hers in a kiss that could be described as anything but gentle.

Startled by the unexpected action, Anna froze but soon relaxed though she didn't return the kiss just yet. Gary's lips moved roughly against her own and he released a soft growl of frustration when she didn't respond; his hands gripped her shoulders as his tongue all but forced her lips to part for him. At the feel of his tongue coiling around hers, Anna found her stubborn resolve cracking and she moved to pull away but couldn't as Gary's arms snaked around her waist and dragged her against his chest. It was the final straw for her, she couldn't maintain the stoic refusal to kiss him back and she found her hands at the back of his neck, her lips working just as fervently against his.

It was as though a burst of life shot through her as the kiss deepened unexpectedly. In a mere week, she had nearly forgotten just how powerful their kisses could be; the raw energy in them often surprised the couple but today's kiss was so full of it – a dangerous mix of lust, anger, relief, and something far deeper – that it caught them both entirely off guard. This, Anna determined, was their love; something so strong, so passionate, that she couldn't dare fight it. Fighting it was useless, resisting it was futile.

Gary's hands were pressed against her back, holding her against him in a way that she almost feared would crush her while her fingers had buried themselves in his hair. She knew without thinking of it that she had missed this – the way their bodies molded perfectly together, the way their lips moved in sync with each other to create spell-binding kisses… Everything seemed perfect when they kissed, especially now that they had officially labeled the feelings between them as love.

Gary was the first to pull away from the kiss, breathing heavily as he met her eyes in a fierce fashion that would have intimidated any girl other than herself. "We're too strong for this," he said softly. "A fight shouldn't do this, Anna… There shouldn't be this distance." Anna nodded slightly, slowly removing her hands from his tangled hair as she did so. "I'm sorry for being an idiot but if you're still pissed about me being worried about Rachael… Then please just put it in the back of your mind so that we can move on. I can't take it being like this –"

"I'm not mad about Rach, Gary," Anna interrupted quietly, placing a finger against his lips to effectively cut off his words.

"You're not?"

"No," she sighed in reply. "I see why you're worried… But my mom's keeping an eye on her so…. Maybe we could focus on us instead?"

"That would be a really good idea," Gary agreed. He leaned back against the counter behind them once more, feeling a rather sudden wave of fatigue wash over him. He'd known he was low on energy but that kiss had taken more energy than walking down the stairs had and he was starting to feel the effects of it.

A grateful smile spread across Anna's lips as he spoke. She stepped closer to Gary as he leaned against the counter and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his shoulder for a moment before looking up with a playful grin. "How about we go up stairs and do that?" she teased.

"I haven't eaten since I got home, Anna; I don't think I'd even make it up the stairs without passing out."

Anna took a second to notice how pale Gary had been since entering the kitchen and realized that his hands were trembling slightly. "Shit, babe, sit down." She quickly ushered him to one of the seats at the kitchen table and went about finding food for her boyfriend.

While resting his head on top of his folded arms on the table top, Gary watched Anna scurry around the kitchen, carefully side-stepping or stepping over the wrestling growlithes as she did so. She kept shooting glances at him and he could see concern lacing her gaze; despite the weakness that had overtaken him so suddenly, he couldn't help but smile at the way she managed to keep an eye on the pups while cutting up fruit. He'd noticed a sudden change in her after the kiss and especially after his apology and he couldn't help but wonder if that awkwardness between them had only been because of a lack of intimacy of any sort. Perhaps all they had needed was a reminder of what was between them. Whatever it was, Gary found it particularly hard to think about it as he eyes the way Anna's jeans fit snugly over her thighs and bottom.

He shook his head as a particularly erotic thought entered his mind and gave a soft sigh, feeling as though it would most likely be best for their relationship if they didn't immediately jump into bed with each other the moment he was feeling well enough for it. Perhaps by slowing down a bit, their relationship would progress further. His body wouldn't enjoy the delay in sexual activities but he had already survived over a week without it, surely a few more days wouldn't kill him as long as they could kiss and be around each other without any arguing or any distance between them.

--- --- ---

The noise on the second floor hadn't appeared suddenly; May knew it had gradually grown louder until it had reached the present volume even though she had just now noticed the noises. Footsteps far down the hallway, laughter, her brother and Andrew calling good bye to Ash for the afternoon from the top of the stairwell. A glance towards the clock on her wall indicated that it was too early for the teenagers to have finished training for the day but a peer out the window at the overcast sky suggested that the boys and Chelsea had done it earlier than usual to avoid poor weather conditions. May couldn't help but wonder her grandfather had even bothered to attempt preventing Gary from participating in the training session or if the old man had simply let him do it.

She flopped back on her bed, bored beyond belief, to the point where she almost regretted lying to her grandfather to get out of going down there today. Feeling a strange and rather strong desire to stay as far away from the laboratory as possible, she had spun some story about feeling ill which her grandfather had, thankfully, believed. It was unusual for May to lie at all but that morning just seemed to require that the truth be bent. Unfortunately, she hadn't looked ahead at the fact that she would be stuck in her bedroom all day with nothing to do since her friends were at work or school and Damien was at work and could only text her at slower moments. If she had known that she would have been so bored, she would have just sucked it up and stuck it out in the lab.

A soft knock on her closed bedroom door caused her to sit up from her position on the blue loveseat in her room; without bothering to straighten her rumpled yoga pants or tangled hair, she called for her visitor to enter. Gary opened the door nearly silently and closed it behind him as he stepped inside the room and made his way over to her. May quickly noticed how tired he looked and assumed that training with his friends had taken a lot out of him, despite this, he looked more like himself than he had in the few days leading up to the incident with the snake. He wordlessly sat down next to her and met her eyes easily in a manner that silently told her to spill whatever was going on in her head.

"I didn't think you would decide to train today," she admitted softly, tucking her legs beneath her and looking her brother over. He was still a bit paler than usual but there was a certain brightness in his eyes that told her he was in a good mood. He'd either had an enjoyable time with Andrew and Ash or he and Anna had made up, perhaps even both.

"I couldn't just sit around inside all day – it's not like I can play guitar or cello with all these stitches."

"I notice you left piano out."

Gary shrugged slightly as he responded. "I can play but it hurts and I really don't feel like having to deal with everyone if I manage to open the cuts," he replied simply. "We didn't even train for an hour today, Chelsea's leg was bothering her and I just couldn't really do it – it was just too exhausting," he explained at May's questioning expression. "What about you? Grandpa said you didn't feel well."

"I'm fine."

"Liar." May shot him a glare but Gary simply shrugged it off with an amused smile. "If you were fine then you would be in the lab," he pointed out calmly.

May's eyes narrowed slightly as she eyed her brother suspiciously. "You're acting different," she observed.

"No, I'm not – I'm just tired and in a good mood. Anna and I made up and I'm still kind of sick. Stop changing the subject." His sister rolled her eyes and slumped against the cushions behind her and Gary couldn't help but laugh quietly. "I think we've switched places," he said lightly with a small shake of his head. "Are you really that upset because Damien left yesterday?" he added in a teasing voice, grinning when May glared at him.

"If you really insist on knowing what's wrong – my little brother nearly died on Friday, I'm stuck in a job that I don't want and can't get out of, I'm the only one of my friends not doing anything with their life, and on top of that, the guy I like lives in a town that's six hours away!"

Gary leaned back on the love seat and gave her a wan smile. "Well, that sucks," he replied blandly.

"Not helping."

"I was kidding, relax. Look, May, you're going to hate me for saying this, but I'm not surprised."

"You're not?" May asked, thrown off by her brother's comment.

Gary shook his head and May was almost disappointed to see that there wasn't a trace of sarcasm in his facial expression as he did so. Part of her had been hoping that he was joking about that last part as well. "I've seen this coming for months now."

"What? How?"

"May, think of who you're talking to!" Gary sighed. "How different do you really think we are?" He gave her pointed look and she appeared to think about it. He had never brought it up with his sister, nor anyone else, but he had noticed in recent months that May was very much in the same boat as he was – or at least had been. She felt trapped by working in the lab and living in Pallet while he had felt trapped by school and the expectations he perceived his grandfather to have. She seemed to not know what she wanted to do with herself and her life and Gary had certainly felt that particular feeling on more than one occasion – he still sometimes felt it well up every now and then. And then of course, she had feelings for someone who was too far away to actually have. He had certainly felt that way while living in Pastoria with Anna still in Pallet; there had been so many times when he would cut himself because of how much missing the girl would eat him up, there had been so many occasions when he would get lost in class because she had crept into his thoughts, and he had sent her so many text messages or email messages saying something along the lines of "I miss you."

Being able to read May's moods rather well, Gary had always been able to tell when something was bothering her but in recent months, he had noticed a displeasure that his sister seemed to cover up rather well. The way her eyes would narrow slightly whenever she saw particularly romantic exchanges between any of the couples in Pallet, the way her jaw would clench whenever she was asked to do something in the lab… There were several little clues that Gary couldn't even think of off the top of his head that gave away May's true feelings about what was going on in her life. The fact that he caught onto all of these little hints made Gary wonder how much she had noticed in him back when his depression was so much worse.

"So you know what I'm going through," May agreed a bit disinterestedly. Gary frowned a bit at her tone; she had her defenses up and it was almost hurtful to be disregarded in such a manner. "Do you have any suggestions?" The question was asked in a tone similar to the one her comment had been voiced in, though a touch of mockery had added itself to her voice.

"Honestly? I think you should get the hell out of this town and get a life." The scowl she sent his way nearly made him wince as he mentally repeated the words he had just said and realized that they had been harsher than he had intended. "What I mean is," Gary began again with a slight sigh. "There really isn't anything in Pallet –"

"Pallet's gotten a lot bigger since we were kids, Gary; my graduating class had about seventy students in it."

"It's still a boring place that no one's ever heard of unless they're science geeks who are Professor Oak fanboys." May laughed at that and shook her head, she had to agree with her brother on that count. "May, what's here for you? Me, Grandpa? A few friends that are going to get out of here when they get the opportunity? Come on; you know even I'm going to leave here at some point –"

"You've left here four times already," May interrupted him. "I know you'll probably be the first to get out of here permanently. Michelle's probably moving to Viridian next school year so she doesn't have to travel so much and, if she does that, Kate will probably move with her – hell, I always figured those two would get an apartment with Rachael since they all go to school there! The only thing really keeping Bella here is her family since she helps take care of the little ones, with how fast things are going with Chris, I don't doubt that she'll go along with him wherever he goes after he's done working in the lab here."

"What about Anna?"

"First of all, Anna's one of those people who belong in a city, not some little town with nothing to offer. Secondly, she's going to follow you whenever you leave. I have nothing, Gary; there's no one for me to follow, there's no school for me to be closer to, and I have no plans."

"You know what the best thing to do would be in that case?"

"Resign myself to being Grandpa's maid and secretary for all eternity?"

Gary smirked slightly. "Go to Pastoria, move into Shawn's old room in Damien's house, have sex with him until you two decide that you love each other, then get married and spend the rest of your lives with each other."

"What is your obsession with me and Damien?" May demanded. "And I think you're a little confused on how people fall in love!"

"One, it was a _joke_. Two, I'm not confused; that's practically what happened with Anna and I. Three, I know that neither your or Damien are like that. And as far as being 'obsessed' goes – I think Damien's a good guy for you and you two already have a great chemistry." He gave a halfhearted shrug and let his gaze drop to his lap as he fidgeted with the edge of his t-shirt. "He would take care of you and he wouldn't pressure you into doing anything you didn't want – he's the only person I would trust without a doubt when it comes to you."

"I'm flattered, Gary, but this isn't helping any and I honestly don't know how I would even go about leaving here or telling Grandpa that I don't want to work in the lab."

"Maybe talking to Alex or Monica would help… Or even Nicole, for that matter. Or you could do the easiest thing…"

"Which would be what?"

"You could just move to Pastoria and stay with Alex and Monica for awhile –"

"Gary, I'm not moving to Pastoria for a boy."

"I never said you were! There's a community college there that a bunch of my friends go to, you could always get started there while you're trying to settle in, that way you'll know people and you'll know your way around. It wouldn't be as much of a shock for you, you know? Sunnyshore's close by too, they have a huge university there –"

"That's great, Gary, but I don't even know what I would go to any school for! That's the problem – I don't know anything!"

Gary sighed softly and sank back against the cushions of the small couch, feeling as though this conversation was going nowhere. He hated to admit it, but he was under the impression that this was the exact same way that May had felt so many times when she was dealing with him. He could almost feel the frustration coming off of his sister in waves; he could certainly see it reflected in her eyes and her slumped posture. "I really think you should talk to Nicole or Monica," he said quietly. "Even Alex would be helpful, he's good with stuff like this." May uttered a small groan and seemed to slump even further in her seat, causing Gary to frown; he was out of his element dealing with a thoroughly depressed sister. Suddenly struck by an idea, he stood and walked to her closet and pulled out a pair of her sneakers, ignoring the way she irritably asked what he was doing. He tossed the shoes to her and smiled at her confused frown. "Come on, we're going out," he said simply.

"But, Gary, I look like crap!"

"And I feel like it so we're even."

May groaned again but pulled on the purple Converses while wondering what exactly her brother was planning. Whatever it was, she hoped it wouldn't get her in trouble for lying about feeling ill.

--- --- ---

It was Wednesday before Gary felt entirely normal again; he had stopped taking the pain killers because of the way they made him feel ill and his grandfather had allowed him back in the lab though he was spending more time training with Ash and Chelsea than working. Andrew was spending less time training since he was busy doing assignments for his online classes but Gary found that training ran more smoothly when Andrew and Chelsea weren't at each other's throats. May seemed to be a bit more like her normal self after the siblings' impromptu trip to Cerulean City with Umbreon and their two growlithe puppies. Pizza, ice cream, and an hour or so of walking around the area of the city neighboring the beach had cheered her up considerably and Gary hoped that she would talk to one of the adults to get an idea of what to do. Things with Anna seemed were back to normal and were going fantastically; his only complaint was that he had been so tired that they had not yet been able to have any sort of intimacy other than kissing.

As Gary wandered through the house that afternoon, meandering from room to room in search for either his girlfriend or one of his other friends, he came across Anna in the sun room, playing with Loki while Umbreon looked on from her perch on the couch. He had to pause in the entrance to the room when he saw her, something about her had him absolutely spell-bound as he watched her. The afternoon sun flooded the room and reflected off of her hair and jewelry in the most flattering way possible and she looked simply stunning as she sat cross-legged on the floor in a short black and purple lace handkerchief skirt that was adorned with safety pins amongst artful tears in the lace. A black corset top clung to her torso while matching stockings encased her legs, with the way she was sitting it was easy to see the lacy top of the thigh-high stockings. It was sexy and gorgeous and a very Anna-like outfit that almost made his breath catch in his throat. She was wiggling her fingers at Loki, constantly keeping her hands out of the pup's reach as he chased them; the way she was giggling and laughing at him made her face light up beautifully.

With her joyful expression being the only thing Gary's mind focused on, he quickly crossed the room, knelt next to her, and immediately kissed her. Her reaction was swift and in no time their hands were wandering as their tongues curled together while Anna found herself being gently pushed against the carpet as the deep kisses continued. The only thoughts they had were of each other; noticing this, Umbreon leapt down from the couch and nudged Loki away from the two as he began to tug at Gary's t-shirt in hopes of regaining their attention. Gary pulled away slightly, just enough to serenely meet Anna's eyes before glancing up long enough to confirm that Umbreon was now playing with Loki in order to keep him out of trouble. He lowered his head once more to press another desperate kiss against her lips. Anna sighed softly as one of Gary's hands trailed up her thigh and drew back, muttering something about going upstairs rather than fooling around where anyone could stumble across them.

She was almost surprised at how quickly Gary stood up and pulled her to her feet, almost dragging her towards the stairs with her wrist clamped in his grasp. A small giggle escaped her when they reached the stairs; she slipped her hand of his grip and pushed him against the wall of the stairwell, quickly claiming his lips with her own in a greedy kiss that deepened quickly until they were making out against the wall.

They didn't break apart again until they heard footsteps behind them. "Get a room, guys," Tracey teased as he climbed past them on the rather wide staircase, barely giving them a second glance as Anna laughed at his comment.

With a significant look, Gary guided up the stairs once more and into the hallway of the second floor. A quick glance through Andrew's open bedroom door allowed him to see the blonde boy sitting at his desk while Tracey spoke to him from a perch on his bed, seeing the two conversing quietly made Gary lead Anna past his own bedroom and towards the attic stairs. Anna was mildly surprised when Gary started up the steep stairs to the enormous room but not overly so as it had become a hideout for the two over the past couple of months. Once within the room with the door firmly locked behind them, she lead him over to the same bed that they had lain on for Valentine's Day and began kissing him once more.

The kisses were different; they had taken on a distinctly dissimilar feel from the ones in the sun room and on the stairwell before being interrupted by Tracey. Their lips met in soft but deeply passionate kisses while their hands lightly caressed each others' bodies as they slowly shed their clothing and moved to the bed. Finally nude amongst the pale sheets of the bed, Anna moaned softly when Gary finally slid into her, the gentleness of the action taking her by surprise as they hands met and their bodies moved together. They traded tender kisses, soft words of endearment falling from their lips in a way that felt so natural despite it being the first time being so thoroughly amorous with intimacy.

Making love proved to be far different from the rather rough sex they had grown used to with each other but also proved to be just as physically satisfying and even more pleasing emotionally. Pressing a final tender kiss against Anna's lips, Gary slipped off of her, laying next to her on the bed as they slowly recovered amongst the messy sheets and shed articles of clothing. He felt a strange feeling as Anna curled herself against his body, folding herself into his embrace while pressing soft kisses along his shoulder and neck.

In truth, being with Anna in this way was all he could ever hope for and he realized then that he had figured out exactly what he wanted in life. In that instant, he was more in love with her than ever before and knew that nothing would be able to break them apart. Jumbled and half-formed thoughts began swiftly running through his head after those realizations and he didn't know how long he simply lay there, letting the thoughts fly by. A glance down sometime later revealed Anna to be asleep and Gary couldn't help but adore the peaceful appearance that she possessed; she was beautiful even with her long hair in disarray and her makeup smeared slightly. She was perfect, or as close as anyone could realistically come in his eyes.

A soft smile curved Gary's lips as he gazed at her, an idea forming in his head. He would have to talk to someone, an adult who could understand and perhaps give fatherly advice on the situation, but he knew that agreeing to go to the competition with Ash in May had been a good idea. If all went well, things would be very different after that visit to the Indigo Plateau where he had once suffered his worst defeat. Of course, he was going to have to go somewhere first.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

A slight cliff-hanger…

I really wish I could have had a better transition into the second scene between Gary and Anna but things really needed to get moving. : ) More productive chapters coming soon, I swear. I honestly thought I'd be able to move this story along more than I have this summer, work is killing me.

Reviews? Please?


	62. Chapter 62: Return

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 62: Return

Thursday morning found Gary in the lab far earlier than normal; he was the first in the lab – not even his grandfather had come down from his apartment over the lab yet – and he spent some time checking on his many pokemon while Loki trailed after him curiously. He smiled as he glanced down to make sure the growlithe was still following him, he found it rather amusing to see how attached the young canine had become to him and he would have it no other way as the puppy brought out a hidden maternal side to Anna that he positively adored. He had just begun brushing Loki's fur when Professor Oak entered the lab, pausing when he saw his grandson already in the laboratory.

"Gary? What are you doing down here so early?"

Gary simply shrugged and kept his attention on Loki. "Couldn't sleep," he answered honestly.

Professor Oak peered at him curiously and seemed to be looking him over from a distance. "You probably just have some extra energy since you haven't been running for the past few days," he determined after a moment.

"I doubt that."

"And why is that?"

Gary paused and thought for a minute before setting the brush down on the counter next to him. He and Anna had fallen asleep together after being together in the attic but while Anna had slept peacefully through the night and was still asleep when Gary headed down to the lab, he had woken up after a few hours and had been unable to sleep again. Instead, he lay there with Anna curled against him with her head resting on his chest, his mind running rampant with thoughts mostly about her and their relationship. It now seemed as though everything was pushing towards something new, as though they were fighting against some invisible barrier to get to the next level. They were close – so close – but _something_ was holding him back and he couldn't figure out what it was.

Things were great between them; they had been completely open for the past several months and every emotion and action between them came so naturally. Nothing was forced, nothing was faked – so _why_ was there this _thing_ blocking their path?

He needed to talk to someone about it but didn't feel like his relationship with his grandfather was quite secure enough to talk at such a level of honesty. "Do you think I could take a few days off from the lab, Grandpa?"

A worried expression immediately took over the professor's face as he stared at Gary for a moment. "Why? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Gary reassured him. "I just need to… go to Pastoria for a few days to get some things straightened out."

"In other words, you're going to talk to Alex about July."

"Among other things," Gary muttered.

"I take it you don't want to do that over the phone," the professor observed casually and Gary nodded in response. "A six hour drive is an awfully long trip to take only a few days after getting out of the hospital, Gary; I'm not entirely sure I like that idea of you driving to Sinnoh on your own."

Gary sighed, he'd had a vague feeling that something like this would happen though he had hoped it wouldn't be the case. "Would bringing Anna get you off of my back?" he huffed. He had hoped to be able to go on his own without having to worry about keeping either his girlfriend or sister amused since neither of them knew their way around town.

Professor Oak looked doubtful at the suggestion. "You said you wanted to talk to Alex about other things as well – am I correct to assume that means your girlfriend?" The irritable glare that the question elicited from the teen seemed to confirm his suspicion before Gary even responded with a mute nod. "Then why don't you bring Andrew or Chelsea along with you?"

"Because they're busy doing stuff in the lab," Gary deadpanned, turning his attention back to Loki, feeling frustrated that he wouldn't just be able to go by himself.

The professor ignored the moody tone and merely shrugged off the reply. "They're not as busy as you might think," he said simply. "You can go if someone goes with you, but check with Alex first."

--- --- ---

Andrew was still sleeping when Gary entered his bedroom after calling both Alex and Monica to check that it was okay for him to visit rather than showing up unannounced. Monica had been thrilled by the idea of Gary and possibly Andrew staying with them for a few days, which was unsurprising to Gary as he knew that Alex's fiancé rather enjoyed acting as a mother figure to the two teenage boys as well as Damien. On the other hand, Alex had been a bit mystified by the sudden inquiry. He had even seemed a bit annoyed by it, which Gary attributed to the fact that, not only had he called about two minutes before a microbiology lecture that he was running late for, but he had put off an important conversation for nearly a year and then very randomly wanted to visit and talk during the busiest part of the school semester. Gary couldn't help but feel rather irritated by Alex's response, despite the fact that the man hadn't been the slightest bit against the idea of him coming to Pastoria once they spoke again after Alex's class was over. Granted, he knew that Alex's miffed reaction was typical for him whenever he was busy, as well as expected for any guardian in the same situation, but it truly did not soothe Gary's own irritation.

Either way, he now had the permission he needed and now only needed to convince someone to make the drive with him.

His blonde friend was sprawled amongst the black covers, the blanket barely covering his long legs as he dozed soundly despite the fact that it was nearly ten o'clock and he was supposed to be in the lab by ten-thirty. Already impatient from the conversations he's had earlier in the morning and somewhat influenced by the rude awakenings he had suffered at Andrew's hands in the past, Gary crossed the room quickly and pulled the blanket from the bed, tossing it on the ground as he commanded his friend to get up. Andrew groaned sleepily but didn't wake entirely until Gary shook him roughly, earning several annoyed curses in response until Gary finally sat at the foot of the bed and waited for Andrew to wake completely.

"You're a dick," Andrew complained groggily, rubbing his eyes as he glared sleepily at his younger friend, who merely grinned at him.

"I know a way to get you out of working in the lab for a week," Gary commented in a sing-song voice that he knew annoyed Andrew to no end.

Andrew seemed a bit less groggy after the cryptic comment and sat up a bit straighter on his bed, pushing his tangled hair behind his ears as he stared at Gary. "How?" he asked suspiciously. Something in Gary's grin made him wary.

"I'm dragging your ass to Pastoria with me."

"Why?"

"Because I need to talk to Alex and my grandfather is worried that I'll pass out or something on the drive, so I can't go unless someone goes with me. Which is why you're coming."

"For the love of Odin, Gary, bring Anna – I have a paper to write!"

"It's a four hour drive; bring your laptop and you can work on the way there – hell, it'll be quiet there while Alex and Monica are at the school, you'll work better there than here. Besides, Anna's one of the reasons I need to talk to him."

Andrew sighed and picked at the sheets in an irritable fashion as he continued to glare at Gary for a moment before pausing to think about the suggestion. "You thought this out didn't you?"

"Surprisingly, no."

"Do I even have a choice in the matter?"

"Andrew…" Gary groaned and rubbed his face, feeling almost as though a headache was starting to come on. "Look, I need to talk get this over with – either come with me or I'm going by myself with or without permission!"

"Why not Chelsea? She's not busy with classes and papers and shit – neither is May! I'm sure she'd like to go see her lover boy," he added in a teasing tone that caused Gary to scowl at him.

"Don't talk about my sister like that," Gary snapped, eliciting a quick and honest apology from Andrew. "I wanted you to go for moral support; are you happy now? You're one of the people who's always been on my case about talking to people and, seeing as you've been through this shit before, I figured you would be the best one to come with me. There, I was open – now, _please,_ get dressed and get everything you need to go with me. Grandpa said we don't have to be back until next weekend, so we've got over a week."

"I hope you realize that I hate you," Andrew muttered as he flopped back down on the bed, tugging the covers around him again as Gary left the room with an irritated huff.

--- --- ---

The two boys didn't reach Pastoria until later that evening as they had decided to train with Ash and Chelsea in the morning before Gary slipped off to tell Anna that he was leaving for a few days while Andrew told Tracey the same thing. Anna had seemed a bit suspicious at his rather lame excuse of needing to talk to Alex about "stuff," as he had so cryptically put it, but had accepted it without argument, figuring that it had something to do with the events of July that she knew he had never spoken to Alex about.

Despite taking the four-hour route to Sinnoh, the ride seemed to take longer than usual as Andrew remained silent for most of the drive as he typed away on his laptop. The only sounds that filled the car came from the stereo and the incessant clicking of the computer keyboard while they spoke only occasionally - Andrew either complaining about his paper or bouncing ideas off of Gary while Gary mused about what they could do in Pastoria for a week while Monica and Alex spent most of their time at the university. Upon arriving in Pastoria, they met Alex, Monica, and Damien for a quick dinner in the downtown diner where they ended up running into several friends and, consequently, didn't achieve a large amount of conversation with their tablemates. After spending a few hours with their friends at Charlotte and Tim's house across the street from Alex's house, they had returned only to stay up most of the night goofing off in the bedroom that had been Gary's while he lived there. With only one guest room in the house, they were forced to share the queen-sized bed and the end result was them both sleeping through most of the next day until Monica woke them up to make Gary help her with dinner while Andrew returned to working on his paper.

Friday, the weekend, and the first few days of the next week passed comfortably with the boys spending their time with friends, only having casual conversation with the two adults they stayed with until Wednesday when Alex came home from the university early in the afternoon after finishing his lectures for the day. Andrew had left to visit his brother and grandparents for the day, leaving Gary alone in the house to play on his laptop and listen to music until something else came along for him to do.

Engrossed in a particularly tough game of Tetris and the newest Adagio album, Gary didn't notice Alex's presence until he knocked loudly on the open bedroom door, causing Gary to jump and mess up on the game he was playing. Alex laughed softly at the sudden curse that came from Gary and walked across the room to sit on the bed as he waited for Gary to finish with the computer.

"That game'll rot your brain, you know," he commented languidly.

"Which is exactly why I always played it between classes," Gary muttered as he finally closed the laptop, leaving the music playing as he did so. "What are you doing home so early?"

Alex gave a small shrug and answered as casually as he could manage. "You came to talk – I figured I would take an afternoon off so we could be alone."

"You planned this with Andrew, didn't you?" Gary asked, finding it rather suspicious that the day Alex took off was the same day that most of his friends were busy while Andrew would be gone for several hours.

"Would I do that?" Alex replied innocently with a small smile. Despite the mild tone, there was a directness in his eyes that easily confirmed Gary's suspicions.

"Yeah, you would… Though I guess it's a good thing you did it since I've been putting it off."

"You've been here almost a week and we still haven't talked; I'd say you put it off rather well." He paused and smoothed his shirt as Gary avoided his eyes and appeared to focus more on the music that was still coming from the tiny speakers of the laptop. "Adagio?" he asked after a complicated-sounding piano intro gave way to a heavy song.

"New album," Gary confirmed with a nod, grateful to take any distraction Alex could come up with.

"Sounds like they have a new vocalist." Gary nodded again and an awkward silence fell between them until Alex sighed heavily. "We're too good at procrastinating – where do you want to start?"

"I guess we'll start with Anna," Gary sighed.

"Your grandfather was rather convinced that the main reason you decided to come had something to do with Anna."

"Well, he happened to be right this time."

"Please, don't tell me you two got in another fight," Alex groaned imploringly, surprised when Gary shook his head with a small smile.

"It's nothing like that," he hastily informed Alex. "We made up but… Something happened and…" Gary's voice trailed off as he tried in vain to find words.

"Dare I ask what this _something_ was?" Alex interjected while Gary mulled over his words.

"No," Gary replied flatly. "You can use your imagination." Alex laughed at the response but fixed him with a look that clearly told him to just say what was bothering him. "I want to marry her, okay? That's the biggest thing but…" He paused again and gave an irritable scoff as he shoved his hair out of his face. "It's like we're on the edge of something – only there's something else between us that neither of us can get past and it won't go away and I can't figure out what it is in the first place! And _why_ the _hell_ are you shaking your head?"

"Gary… It's always the same thing. You think too much to see what's right in front of you –"

"And what, exactly, is right in front of me, Alex?" Gary snapped.

"It's pretty obvious to anyone who knows you and Anna – it's Rachael."

Gary stared at him for a moment, trying to make sense of the name he had just thrown at him. "Rachael?" he echoed in disbelief, refusing to believe that the issue was something so simple to identify.

"Yes, Rachael. You've been worrying about her for a few weeks now, that what your fight was about in the first place; wasn't it? The girls have a sibling rivalry from hell and you're stuck in the middle because you used to be good friends with Rachael but you're dating Anna at the same time." He gave a small shrug and continued in a casual tone. "There's nothing anyone can do about that – you three are just going to have to compromise. Either you're going to have to move on from Rachael or Anna's going to have to break down and get over it. Those are really your only options considering Rachael's already backed down; if anything, I think she's trying to appeal to her sister to get her to pity her."

"You think Rachael's trying to appeal to Anna's soft side by mimicking an eating disorder that Anna had when she was fourteen? Get real, Alex! She's lost all of her close friends and the only people around her are snobby, uptight little whores! Don't you think it's something a little deeper than just wanting to get back on Anna's good side?"

Alex shook his head again with a small sigh. "Again, Gary –"

"I am not thinking too much this time! You missed every fucking warning sign last time – I know what a suicide attempt is and she's going to do it, dammit! Maybe Rachael is what's between us but that's only because I'm the only one not blind enough to see what's going on!"

"Gary –"

"No; you don't get it!"

"Well, maybe I would if you would actually tell me these things for once in your damn life!"

The sudden snap caused Gary to fall silent and recoil slightly; it was very rare for Alex to raise his voice with him as he normally opted to use a softer, sterner tone. The shout and mild curse took him by surprise and showed that Alex was nearing the end of his rope when it came to dealing with him and Gary had to admit that he was quite surprised by it. Alex sighed softly and calmed slightly as he leaned back against the wall behind the bed.

"Look," he began wearily. Gary noticed that he looked a bit regretful that he had raised his voice. "I know you're secretive – you always have been and you always will be – but this is a big deal; you know better than anyone else that suicide attempt is no laughing matter. Yet, for some reason, you just can't take down this barrier and talk to me. You _know_ that I'm always here and that I always have been, so why…? You don't understand how it is to be in my situation, or your grandfather's for that matter. Maybe the reason no one is taking you seriously is because they don't understand what you're seeing because you've never let them see it in the first place."

"What is that even supposed to mean?"

"You've never told anyone exactly what you went through – you hid it and then assumed everyone understood when you told a select few people that you tried to kill yourself! Maybe you're seeing some phantom warnings but, since you refuse to tell anyone anything, they're forced to assume that you're just over-thinking something once more."

"It sounds like you're making an awful lot of assumptions yourself, Alex," Gary snapped in frustration.

"Again, if you actually told people what goes on in that thick skull of yours, maybe you would be taken seriously."

"What the hell do you think I'm doing here in the first place? Did it ever occur to you that I needed time to make sense of everything before I could talk to people about it – you're not even listening!" he exclaimed as Alex shook his head again. "You think it's so easy to tell people why I did what I did? It isn't because half the time I can't even figure out what made me do it!"

"Gary –"

"If it was so easy to do then don't you think I would have done it by now?"

Alex stood up and Gary stopped arguing almost immediately. "If you want to be a spoiled brat about this, than by all means, Gary, go ahead, but do it by yourself. Talk to me when you calm down enough to not argue every little thing I say." With that, he left the room, closing the door rather loudly behind him as Gary fumed silently.

He wasn't entirely sure what had caused his outburst, though he was certain it had a lot to do with the way Alex seemed to be, in Gary's eyes at least, treating him like a child. The way Gary viewed it, Alex was refusing to even attempt to understand why he had never talked to him about everything that had happened and wasn't giving him the slightest chance to explain himself. Somehow, things had strayed horribly from his vision of the way this conversation would go.

He was furious with Alex; he couldn't help it, he just was. The way Alex had shot down just about everything he said felt almost like betrayal and because of that, it took a long while for Gary to calm down entirely. Time seemed to pass slowly as Gary paced the room, trying to force his rapidly beating heart to slow down while he gradually managed to pacify himself. It felt like it took the majority of the afternoon before he felt as though he could leave the room but the alarm clock on the nightstand informed him that it had only been a little over an hour since Alex had left.

Gary finally crept from the room and took a few minutes in the living room to collect his thoughts as he peered over the many framed photographs that were scattered across the surfaces in the room. After several moments in the room, his eyes fell on a particular picture that he normally avoided looking at; a rather candid shot that his grandfather had managed to capture in the lab when he was seven. He and May had apparently been bickering mere seconds before the picture had been taken as May was sticking her tongue out at him while he sheepishly grinned up at his mother, who was looking down at both of them with a stern look and a poorly suppressed smile. The camera had managed to catch his father in the middle of rolling his eyes while Alex wore an amused smirk as though he were trying not to laugh. It was obvious why Alex kept it framed – it was one of the few natural shots where all five of them were plainly visible and it most clearly showed the dynamics of the young family. It was a picture Gary would have cherished if it wasn't for the unfortunate day it had been taken on; that very evening his life as he then knew it had ended in utter tragedy.

Plucking the frame from the shelf it sat on, Gary sighed reluctantly and slowly made his way over to Alex and Monica's bedroom where he assumed Alex currently was. He entered the bedroom and found Alex sitting on the bed, apparently grading a stack of microbiology exams. Gary paused at the foot of the bed and tossed the picture to Alex, who caught it in surprise.

"If you have to know," Gary began slowly as Alex took a moment to stare down at the picture. "Everything goes back to that day."

Alex nodded slowly in response. "Understandably," he said flatly. "Sit down."

Taking the invitation as progress, Gary climbed onto the bed and folded his legs beneath him. After a moment or two of silence, he began talking. "I wish I had a better explanation but I really don't… Knowing that they were never coming back just killed me; I was totally numb, it was almost like I was living in a fog for those first two years. I hardly even remember anything from then. I know that I hated you and Grandpa back then and maybe that has something to do with why I've had a hard time talking to you guys about this since I would have to admit it –"

"Why?" Alex asked softly.

"Because," Gary sighed and leaned against the footboard of the bed, slowly tracing the embroidered pattern on the dark purple quilt covering the bed. "As stupid as it sounds, you guys kept telling me that everything would be okay… It was like spitting on their graves. Nothing would ever be the same, nothing would be okay and you knew it – it was just an empty lie."

"There isn't much you can say to a kid who's just lost his parents," Alex interrupted gently.

"Alex." He apologized quickly and gestured for Gary to continue, realizing that he was going to have to hold his tongue the best he could. "I know I tried talking to you guys about it but it was always the same. Every time someone told me that 'everything would be alright' it was as if someone had stabbed me and that kind of cut through the numbness… It pissed me off but it made me so happy because I could actually _feel_ something. I guess that kind of led to the cutting; after awhile, I had to find new ways to feel some sort of emotion – I'd pick on Ash, I'd play with Anna, I'd purposely do things to annoy you and Grandpa. Eventually I stopped getting anything out of that and it just turned physical." Unconsciously, he ran his fingers over the scar on his left wrist, as though reliving that first cut. His voice gradually grew a bit softer as he spoke while mentally reviewing the years that had passed. "I would purposely get hurt just to feel _something…_ I guess it just reminded me that I was still alive. Anna had been cutting herself for over a year then and one night we were talking and I asked her why she cut herself; she basically said the same reasons why I did everything that I did so eventually I just did that as a last resort."

"Indigo League?" Alex asked quietly, interrupting only to confirm the story he had heard over a year earlier when he had first found out about Gary's cutting habits.

Gary nodded silently in response, keeping his eyes focused on the blanket to avoid seeing the disappointment that he was likely to see in Alex's eyes. "I didn't do it much at first; maybe once a month, only two or three cuts, for the first few months and that was enough. That was all I needed –"

"Hold on," Alex interrupted again. "Enough for what?"

"Haven't you already heard this before?"

"When I found out about all of this, the only thing you told me was that you started after the Indigo League and that you managed to not do it while you were at Sayda –"

"I did it once when I was there," Gary cut him off in a flat voice.

"Well, this is news to me – you told me you didn't do it at all when you were there. Actually, you told me that you only did it in those six months that you stayed in Pallet between the Indigo League and the time you left for Johto, and then when you were in school."

"In case you haven't noticed, I haven't gotten that far yet!"

"Then, by all means, enlighten me!"

A frustrated sigh escaped Gary as he ran his hand through his hair, suppressing the urge to glare at Alex as he did so. "Will you please stop making this harder than it already is? Yeah, I lied to you before, but at least I'm trying to tell you the truth now. The least you could do is listen without turning it into a fight." He took Alex's lack of comment as an invitation to continue and hoped ardently that he could stop being snippy with him long enough to finish this conversation. "It was enough to… I don't know how to even explain it to you. It was just a release. It was like I would start feeling suffocated after awhile of not doing it and then when I did do it, it was as if everything went back to normal. It was like I could breathe again. After a couple of months I started doing it more often and when I left for Johto, I was doing it every couple of weeks. When I was actually away in Johto, it turned into a way for me to deal with bad loses. I didn't do it very often at first because I was happy to be doing things on my own – it was the way I had wanted to train in Kanto and it just felt right, and I was doing really well with my pokemon and earning badges and everything," he added as an afterthought. "So I only did it whenever I was upset but in those last maybe six months there, I started getting bored with training and just didn't feel like that was what I wanted to do and I started to cut more often… Do you really want every last detail on this?" Gary broke off in a pointed tone. As much as he knew Alex wanted an explanation, he had wanted to talk specifically about July and Anna, not go over his history of psychological problems.

Alex appeared to think for a moment before answering. "I guess you don't have to go into that much detail if you don't want to," he conceded reluctantly after a minute. "You only did it once when you were at Sayda?" Gary nodded. "What about before you went there? After the Silver Conference?"

"I didn't cut myself at all for a month before the competition –"

"You were at home for most of that month," Alex pointed out.

"Which is entirely why I didn't do it: I was hanging out with everyone and I was actually having fun. I didn't need to do it. I didn't even do it the entire time before leaving either."

"And why is that?"

"Anna, why else?" Gary asked pointedly, finally raising his eyes to meet Alex's. He couldn't help being surprised when he found curiosity rather than disappointment etched on his face. "I only did it when I got really homesick when I was gone; to be honest, I probably wouldn't have even done it again if it wasn't for me deciding to date Kate –"

Alex groaned and shook his head, the slightest trace of disappointment finally appearing on his features. "Don't go putting this off on Kate, Gary," he sighed.

"I wasn't: I was putting it on myself for screwing around with Anna while I was with Kate. It bothered me so I started cutting again and it only got worse when I came here; I guess school just had the same effect that the accident did. I didn't really want to be there in the first place and then there was so much work just nonstop – I just couldn't take it. Even cutting stopped doing anything for me; I mean, there were times when that was the only thing that helped but drinking was just easier… Something about puking my guts out the next morning made me feel better than cutting myself usually did," he added with a wry smile that made Alex roll his eyes.

"Maybe that had something to do with the attention you would get when you were hung over."

Gary paused at the casual remark, having not expected Alex to come up with that response. He nodded after a few seconds of thinking it over. "Maybe. You and Monica always did baby me when I wasn't feeling well, maybe that's why I drank so often." Alex gave a small shrug as though to say that he'd had that same suspicion at one point. "You never exactly told me _not_ to drink."

"Would you have listened if I did?"

"No. Anyway, that and sex –"

"Which is something I _did_ tell you not to do," Alex interrupted.

"You told me to be careful, not for me to not do it – there's a difference, you know. Don't start," he declared when Alex opened his mouth to argue a point. "I'd rather not turn this into a fight again." Alex leaned back against the headboard of the bed and gestured for him to continue. "Those two things helped but I guess they actually just distracted me, so I don't really know how much they helped in the end."

"In the end, you just cheated on your boyfriend."

A small laugh escaped Gary as Alex commented almost languidly with a slight smirk that indicated he was merely teasing him. While the other distractions annoyed Gary, he accepted this one with no argument, knowing that Alex was trying to lighten the mood a bit since he likely knew what Gary was quickly getting at. "Stop trying to distract me; you really don't make this whole talking thing very easy…. I don't know, after while everything just got worse as school went on. Classes just got more time consuming and I was stuck working all the time, I just never got a chance to relax and stop worrying about everything. That just made everything worse and missing Anna and everyone back home and being confused about everything with Andrew really didn't help matters."

He paused at this point, gazing sourly at the wall as he crossed his arms across his chest. Telling May and Anna had been hard enough and they were two people that he actually could open up with, the mere thought of telling Alex made his stomach tighten uncomfortably. Of course, Alex already had been informed of that particular event, but therein lay the very issue that made Gary so acutely uneasy. Alex expected an explanation while the two girls, Professor Oak, and even all of Gary's friends had been satisfied with the simple disclosure of the suicide attempt as they saw it as an explanation in its self. Just finding out about it clarified the moodiness Gary had shown for months in Sinnoh and explained why he had suddenly withdrawn from school and moved home without warning or any given reason.

Why Alex, of all people, expected an explanation was beyond Gary. Perhaps he felt guilty for the mere fact that Gary had made an attempt on his life, or maybe he felt scorned because he hadn't been told by Gary that it had happened in the first place. Then there was always the possibility that he simply couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that the very event had even happened and needed to explanation to deal with it.

The problem was, even after all of these months, Gary wasn't entirely sure he had a reason or any explanation of the sort to offer Alex. He had thought he knew why he had done it and he had been certain that he was ready to talk about it after that evening with Anna in the attic but, somehow, he had managed to allow that explanation to slip out of his head. Looking back, he probably should have called Alex that night when he hadn't been able to sleep and talk to him right then. Instead, he had decided to drive up to Pastoria and then wait nearly a week before Alex had initiated the very conversation he had wanted. He had put it off and nearly backed out of it, and now he clutched at any thought that entered his head as an opportunity to put it off just a bit longer but it seemed as though Alex could see straight through this.

"You wanted to talk, Gary," he pointed out when the teen had been quiet for a few moments.

"I know," Gary sighed in reply. "It's just that I'm still not sure what exactly made me do it. You want something that I can't give you – there just isn't a reason that doesn't sound selfish or stupid. I wanted a way out, I wanted an escape and that was the only thing I could think of –"

"You could have talked to me or Monica; hell, Gary, if you had gone to your grandfather he would have listened!"

Gary gave a small, helpless shrug. "You don't really think about that until after the fact," he replied simply. "I guess I was more scared than anything; in reality, all I wanted to do was go home and have a chance to be myself without having to worry about school or work or anything like that. I just got so overworked that I couldn't calm down even when school was out – and then when I was done with school, I knew I had to go right back to something even harder and I think that's what really drove me to it. I was just desperate to get out of having to do it and, honestly, you can't do it if you're dead." Gary paused again, he had been speaking slowly, thoughtfully, when it struck him; something must have shown on his face because Alex's express turned from concerned to curious.

"Sudden epiphany?"

Gary turned his gaze to Alex and frowned slightly. "Alex," he began evenly. "I hate genetics."

Suddenly confused, Alex closed his eyes and tried to make sense of the sudden change in direction. "You love _Jurassic Park_ though; you finished the book in three days when you were _nine_ and you've had three new copies since then because you read it so much," he replied.

"Yeah, but I've never been _that_ into science," Gary said, appearing and sounding just as confused as Alex.

"Then why –" Gary cut him off with a sudden shake of his head as everything fell into place, leaving him feeling as though he had just been run over by a stampede of Tauros.

"I stopped training because I wanted to be a researcher: I wanted to work with the pokemon, not be a scientist. Grandpa got me into the whole thing at Sayda –"

"He had your best interests at heart; it was reputable and he thought you would like it because of your obsession with _Jurassic Park_. We both thought you would like it for that reason…"

"I know. And I _did_ like it - I actually had fun there and it was cool but, think about it, Alex. I didn't have to do any of the major brainstorming or researching for it; I did harder things in the genetics lab at school than I did there! The most fun I ever had there was when I was working with the pokemon and observing their behavior and all of that stuff!"

"Okay, let me get this straight, though I really have no idea what got you off on this tangent," Alex interrupted again. "You stopped training so that you could work with pokemon in a way more like research than training but you didn't want to get into this whole science game?" Gary nodded, smiling slightly since he was finally starting to see what he actually wanted to do. "And you went ahead with your internship pretty much because you trusted your grandfather's judgment?"

"That and it seemed pretty cool at the time."

"Did you even want to come here for school?"

"No, I wanted to help out in the lab at home and just go to school with the girls but going to Sayda changed that. I figured I would stay there until I was sixteen and then see about getting into a regular university a year or two early but Grandpa kind of had other ideas. The only thing that really kept me here were my friends and the fact that Grandpa would be on my case about it and don't try saying he wouldn't do that because he did when I moved home in August." He shook his head in disbelief while Alex stayed quiet. "Wow," he murmured after a moment with a slight scoff. "I can't believe it – I came here because I figured I was ready to tell you about July and I ended up figuring out everything."

"Where do you think you're going?" Alex asked as Gary suddenly stood up and moved to leave the room.

"I need to talk to Grandpa about something."

"He'll be busy in the lab," he pointed out with a glance at the alarm clock next to the bed. "Sit back down, tell me… what you actually did that night to get you in the hospital," he finished softly.

Gary sank back onto the bed with a tiny sigh; he'd had the sudden urge to call his grandfather and take him up on an offer he had mentioned the day after he had arrived home but Alex's tone had shaken that desire. He was once more reminded of why he was even in Pastoria and, though he already figured out and vocalized the explanation that had come to him, he had never actually described to Alex what had happened on that night that he had swallowed the handful of pills. Crossing his arms lightly, he felt as though he had a new sort of energy from the sudden epiphany he'd had moments earlier and with it came a confidence that he hadn't felt since before he had begun to cut himself. Suddenly, the words came more freely than they had when he had told anyone at home about it.

It was as though everything had changed completely and he was able to describe not only that night but the weeks leading up to it and following it without reliving it as he unfortunately had when he had told his grandfather everything in the beginning of October; he spoke more calmly than he had when coming clean to May and Anna. Once everything had been said, Gary felt as though a weight had been lifted from him which filled him with immense relief. Perhaps he could finally put this chapter of his life behind him and move on completely.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

I would have liked to put in some fun music scenes with Gary and Andrew and everyone else in Sinnoh but the important part was really everything between Gary and Alex. I'm not entirely sure of how much I like this chapter, especially considering how moody Gary was – I personally think he seemed a bit bipolar – but it accomplished what I had in mind. Please review and let me know what you think. Next chapter should be up soon-ish and should be better than this one though I _am_ sensing a bit more drama coming up.

The Adagio song that Alex commented on before the heart-to-heart between him and Gary was Undead from Archangels In Black – which is an awesome album from a rather underground band that desperately needs more attention. If you ever want to listen to some really good progressive music, check them out!

Snailsgomoo – thanks! I actually didn't really notice that Gary's personality changes around Anna, that's pretty neat that you caught that when I didn't. :) I'm glad to see you feel that way about May and Damien.

Kasandra – I'm glad you liked Anna and Gary making up!


	63. Chapter 63: Back Home

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 63: Back Home

Gary glanced back at the Camaro behind him, met Andrew's eyes through the window, and grinned – it was obvious that Andrew was getting impatient. Inside the car, Andrew sighed dramatically before folding his arms on the dashboard and resting his head on them. It was Thursday afternoon and they were, as always, late in leaving to return to Pallet; Gary was leaning against the side of the car and had been talking to Alex for the past ten minutes. He couldn't hear everything through the windows but the bits he had managed to catch caused him to assume that the conversation was about Anna and May.

Peering around Gary at Andrew, Alex shook his head with a small laugh. "I think someone wants to get home to his boyfriend," he informed Gary with a smile.

"He can wait a few more minutes, it won't kill him," Gary replied dismissively. "Before I go, can I ask you for a favor?"

Alex frowned slightly as he responded. "Depends. What does this favor involve?"

"May." Alex echoed her name in confusion, unsure of where this 'favor' was going. "Yep; she's been kind of depressed lately and wants to get out of Pallet. Actually, she _needs_ to get out of Pallet… Anyway, I was wondering if you could talk to her at some point – maybe help her figure out something?"

"I could do that, but why doesn't she just go to school like the other girls?"

"Because she apparently has no idea what she even wants to do."

"Then why doesn't she get an AA and take those two years to figure it out?"

Gary groaned and rolled his eyes at the question. "Do I look like a mind reader?"

"Point taken," Alex sighed. He paused for a moment, appearing to think something over before speaking once more. "I don't know how she would feel about this, but the biology department secretary is leaving in the fall and the school will obviously need someone else. It's an office job so she wouldn't have to worry about working in a lab – if she moved here and went to the community college…"

"Sounds like a good idea; why are you telling me?" Gary asked dryly, crossing his arms over his chest to ward off the breeze that swept through the neighborhood. It was still quite a bit colder in Pastoria than in Pallet, as Gary was quickly realizing now that he was standing outside wearing only a t-shirt while his sweatshirt had been tossed onto the backseat of the car, where Umbreon was now using it as a pillow.

Alex sighed again and scowled at Gary. "Smart ass. I'll call her and suggest it but I'm not making any promises – she's almost as stubborn as you are, you know."

A small smile curved Gary's lips as he quickly thanked him, knowing that this would be the best thing for his sister. Despite his sincere lack of faith in any sort of religious or spiritual beliefs, he felt as though this was some sort of fate – after all, May had already fallen for Damien and had made friends with some of Gary's older friends in Pastoria and now there was this job opening that was right up her alley. She may have grown sick of working for their grandfather but Gary suspected that she was more sick of the way her job seemed to encompass everything from helping the professor with his research to assisting Tracey on the reserve to doctoring sick and injured pokemon – and that didn't even include her actual duties as a secretary. Because of his relationship with Alex and Monica, Gary had ended up spending more time than he would have liked in the offices at the school and had become rather well acquainted with the secretaries, who were all rather nice and social. The job really only consisted of simple paperwork and working with the professors and doctors in an office setting rather than a lab; on top of that, they had help from several students who worked a few hours a week in the offices as well.

"Mention it to Grandpa too, maybe he can bring it up with her as well," Gary replied, reaching for the door handle as Andrew called something about the car getting rather warm.

"How about this: when you get home, you talk to your grandfather about doing something else in the lab – which you _were_ going to do yesterday, but I suppose you forgot about that when you went over to Tim and Charlotte's?" Gary nodded a bit sheepishly. "I figured as much. After you do that, tell him about what's going on with May and just… I guess, _casually_ mention that you heard Monica and I talking about the secretary opening or something like that –"

"You're encouraging me to lie to my grandfather?"

"It's just stretching the truth a little bit – we were talking about it in the same room as you and Andrew the other day, though you were a bit preoccupied with screwing up that Sonic game for Andrew on the Sega," Alex pointed out, remembering the way the two teens had bickered non-stop over the old game system that had once belonged to Damien. He had gotten bored with it many years before, leaving it for his aunt and Alex since they had become fond of playing the older video games with each other.

"I'm not allowed to play as Tails anymore; it's not fair!" Gary whined, turning to glare at Andrew through the window. Having heard the exchange through his open door, Andrew grinned at him and stuck out his tongue.

"And you two aren't allowed to play unsupervised either, get over it. So, talk to your grandfather when you get home or tomorrow morning – whatever. I'll bring it up next time I talk to him, which will probably be next week since I have to check up with Chris and the snakes; by the way, what's this about you trying to help him milk the snakes last week?"

Gary grinned and shrugged his shoulders. "I like working with the pokemon. It was just a few ekans! They're more mellow than the arbok and seviper!" he added hastily as Alex fixed him with a stern look. "Are you going to finish this up so we can leave? I'm getting sick of hearing Andrew whine." Andrew had just groaned loudly and whined once more about the inside of the car still being warm despite the open door.

"Yeah; I'll talk to your sister after I talk to your grandfather, alright?"

"Okay… I guess I'll see you around then," Gary replied somewhat awkwardly, a bit unsure of how to part ways after the talk, and small arguments, they'd had the day before.

"I'll see you in May."

"What's in May?" Gary asked, trying to remember when he had made plans to see Alex again.

"The competition, you idiot!" Andrew called from inside the car.

Alex laughed at Andrew's irritated response and at Gary's sudden forgetfulness. "Not to mention the Iron Maiden concert and Charlotte's wedding," he reminded Gary, who hit himself in the forehead with an embarrassed grimace. "Good job making a fool out of yourself, try not to do that with your girlfriend too much – she might start rethinking dating you."

"Let's hope not," Gary replied with a laugh. "Because I have special plans for her once this Rachael issue blows over."

"Might want to start planning ahead for that; diamonds are expensive."

"Who said anything about diamonds?" Gary asked him slyly, ignoring Andrew's latest complaint.

"No one. I just figured, you know, birth control pills don't always work; it's only a matter of time before you two slip up and Anna gets pregnant. I figured you would at least want to be engaged whenever that happens," Alex replied casually.

"Like my parents?"

"They were engaged for three years before May was even thought about, Gary, and that's actually exactly what happened with them."

"Trying to scare me?"

Alex smirked slightly at the question. "Is it working?"

"No," Gary replied honestly. "Before Christmas, it would have scared the shit out of me and, up until recently, I still would have been scared. Now… I'm pretty open-minded. See you later; Andrew's going to kill me if we don't leave now."

After a quick goodbye and Alex's typical driving lecture, Gary slid into the car and they left amongst a whirlwind of bickering that nearly drowned out the metal station playing on the radio. Beneath Andrew's complaints about waiting in the car for nearly half an hour Gary could distinctly hear the rather Celtic melody of a Children of Bodom song that made him smile. Hearing Bed of Razors by chance after that final conversation between him and Alex made it seem almost like everything was meant to be.

He and Anna still had their whole lives ahead of them; maybe the sibling rivalry between her and Rachael would die down sometime soon so that they could move on.

--- --- ---

Friday morning was as normal as ever: starting with a run with Chelsea, Ash, and Umbreon; followed by a shower and breakfast after feeding Loki. Gary headed downstairs to the lab while Anna made her way back to her own room to begin studying for the exam that she would be taking in a week so that she could get her high school diploma. Things were normal in the lab – Shawn was booting up the computers and performing any necessary updates, Tracey and Ash were outside feeding the pokemon with Professor Oak, Chelsea was looking over a pokemon who had been injured the day before, Andrew and Chris were each checking over various things in the lab. The only thing that seemed unusual was May's late appearance in jeans and a snug t-shirt, which contrasted with her usual clothing as she normally tried to dress with an air of professionalism while in the lab.

Choosing to waste no time, Gary headed outside to where he could see his grandfather walking in the direction of the stable housing the ponyta and rapidash. He followed him and quickly caught up only to be instructed to help feed the horses. Groaning in annoyance, Gary went about feeding the pokemon on one side of the stable while his grandfather fed the remaining ones.

"I take it you sorted everything out?" the professor asked after a few minutes, glancing over at Gary as the teen paused to pet a rapidash that he had trained.

"That would be a bit of an understatement, to be honest," Gary replied, smiling as the horse nudged his hand with a soft whinny.

"How so?"

"Well, for starters, in the middle of spilling my guts to Alex, I realized that I actually hate genetics and pretty much everything that I went to school for in the first place." He turned after saying it and smiled slightly, showing his grandfather that he wasn't bitter or resentful over it.

Seeing that small grin in combination with the serious expression in Gary's eyes made the professor laugh softly and shake his head. "For once, news about you that isn't surprising."

Gary frowned as he returned to feeding the remaining pokemon in the stable. "It doesn't surprise you?"

The professor laughed again and leaned against the wall of the stable, absently petting a young ponyta that nudged him with its nose. "Gary, by now I'd like to think that I've learned not to be surprised by you. I always knew that you weren't interested so much in the technicalities of _science_; you liked learning about the pokemon and interacting with them. That's why I was so surprised when you decided to go for genetics, I expected behavior or conservation… I thought for sure you would go the same route as your mother and major in something that would put you in the field. Or that you would do something more generalized like biology."

"You did?" Gary asked numbly, feeling rather stupid as he did so.

"Yeah. It just seemed more like you, considering how often you were outside as a child and how much you enjoyed training."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" He could distinctly remember his grandfather being highly supportive of his decision in programs at the school.

Professor Oak gave a small shrug and moved to sit down on an upturned bucket used for carrying food. "In all honesty, I thought you would change your mind after a semester or two and switch majors. When you stuck with it I just figured that it had grown on you… Didn't you ever think to switch programs? The difference is only maybe three senior level classes." Gary shook his head in response and the professor frowned, surprised that, all things considered, Gary hadn't at least considered changing his mind while in school. "Gary, where was your head while you were in school for those two years?"

Gary snorted softly in response. "I'm starting to wonder the same thing, though I suppose you don't think a lot when you're drowning in self-pity."

"That would be a good guess," the professor agreed. "I noticed, pretty quickly, that you just weren't as interested in the lab as your friends were. You've seemed bored unless you're working with the pokemon, plus you're always finding excuses to help Tracey and Ash. That's one of the reasons I brought up that new zoology program at the university last week. That's also why I let you take care of Loki – Tracey and I were quite certain that the runt would be particularly weak since we lost the runt of the last two litters from that arcanine. Not to mention I also saw you playing with Umbreon and Arcanine back in January and thought that it would be good for you to have a little one to take care of," he added thoughtfully. "I have to admit that you're not the only one who's bored in the lab lately; May's been rather… distant lately."

"She's sick of working in the lab," Gary replied rather bluntly. He knew that Alex had told him to bring up May and his idea casually but, since they were being so honest with each other right now, he figured being straight forward would be his best bet. "And she's really kind of depressed since the other girls are all in school and have real jobs. Doesn't really help much that she likes Damien, either. Alex actually mentioned that the school's going to need another secretary in the fall. We both think that the job would be good for her since it would get her out of Pallet and she could go to one of the schools in Sinnoh."

Professor Oak nodded with a small sigh. "I figured it was something along those lines. As far as moving to Pastoria goes, that's her decision; if you and Alex want to talk to her about it then go ahead but don't pressure her to do it." Gary agreed easily and made to leave the stable to head back to the lab before being stopped by his grandfather. "Does this epiphany of yours mean that you're willing to help Tracey and Ash out with the reserve and the pokemon?"

Gary paused at the entrance to the stable and thought for a moment before shrugging and turning back to his grandfather. "Yeah," he replied honestly.

"Good, they should be getting ready to feed the houdoom and houndour; why don't you go help them?"

With a small sigh, Gary set off across the reserve to where he could see Ash carrying a bucket of food towards a wooded area. Calling his friend's name, he ran to catch up with him, feeling oddly relieved that he wouldn't be cooped up in the lab all day, helping his other friends with whatever project they were working on now. At least, he figured, he had reached an understanding with his grandfather.

Things were finally falling into place.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

A short-ish chapter for once! Lol, this is the shortest chapter I've written since somewhere in the forties, I think. Please review!!

The part where Gary whines about not being able to play as Tails anymore on the Sega game is most definitely referring to Sonic The Hedgehog 2 for Sega Genesis – perhaps one of the best games in existence. : ) Then again, most of the original Sonic games are awesome! I love old school Sega…

Also, the part with Bed of Razors playing on the radio as Gary and Andrew left Pastoria refers back to chapter 21 (I think) where Anna tells Gary that she always thought of that song as theirs.

Snailsgomoo – Thanks! I'm really glad that you liked that chapter so much and thanks for reviewing _The Challenge_ – I hope to have the next chapter for that fic up within a week or two.


	64. Chapter 64: Unexpected Part 2

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 64: Unexpected Part 2

Tracey stepped back and watched as a dominant houndoom moved away from the bucket of meat, having eaten its fill, and allowed a smaller one to take its place to feed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ash moving forward from the trees the encircled the small clearing the pack of canines were in, holding another bucket of meat and the special kibble that the professor had developed for the carnivores. As soon as Tracey took the bucket from him, a young houndour pushed forward to sniff at it interestedly, only to be nudged out of the way by an older one. Tracey couldn't help but smile as the little one joined the others to wait its turn – he had always found the eating habits of the packs to be interesting. The oldest and strongest ate first while keeping the younger and weaker ones in line until they had eaten their fill; fortunately, here on the reserve, they didn't have to worry about going hungry as there was more than enough to go around.

Suddenly the alpha female of the pack raised her head and sniffed the air as though sensing a presence that Tracey was not yet aware of. Peering over the animals, he saw some of the less dominant houndour near the trees suddenly move away from a gap between two trees and take on the behaviors that they normally showed the pokemon who were dominant over them. It was a moment before he saw Umbreon moving amongst them and he suddenly understood the change in behavior – because of her high level, the dark pokemon was dominant over even the pack leaders. It wasn't the least bit unusual for Umbreon to join the pack as she got along well with the other pokemon that Gary had trained, including his group of now-evolved houndour that had formed the early pack at the lab.

Distracted as he was by watching the pokemon interact, he hardly noticed the approaching footsteps until the two alphas suddenly moved toward something off to Tracey's left. He looked over in time to see Gary appear, he couldn't help another smile as he watched the other teen greet his pokemon and pet them with a rather serene expression on his face. Despite often seeing Gary either heading towards or coming from this particular wooded area, Tracey realized he had never seen him interact with these pokemon and he had to admit that it was rather endearing to see the way he smiled at the pokemon and pet them while looking them over as though searching for injuries.

"What are you doing out here?" Tracey asked when the pokemon finally left Gary and went back to the food.

An unreadable smile curved Gary's lips, causing Tracey to frown slightly in confusion. "I'm helping you guys," he said simply with a small shrug.

"What do you mean?"

Gary shrugged again and appeared to be a bit amused by Tracey's reaction. "I'm not really going to be working in the lab anymore," he admitted. "Grandpa offered to have me work with you guys and I took him up on that offer."

Tracey studied his face for a moment, looking for any signs of displeasure over that fact; this had come up so randomly he figured there had to be something else going on. "Why?" he asked when he found no signs of unhappiness in Gary's calm demeanor.

"So full of questions today, Trace," Gary teased, shaking his head slightly. "Let's just say that I realized I like this type of stuff more than the geeky science crap."

"So says the person who went to the special biology school," Ash spoke up suddenly, adding his voice to the conversation for the first time.

"That's a pretty sudden change for you," Tracey pointed out after laughing at Ash's comment.

Gary nodded slightly, his expression becoming distant as he gazed at the pokemon around them. "A lot of things are going to change around here."

--- --- ---

The woods were quiet and peaceful as Gary wandered through them late in the afternoon a few days later. He had spent little time in the lab since talking to his grandfather, instead spending most of his time helping Tracey and Ash out on the reserve or playing with the pokemon outside. Though Tracey and Ash had both been surprised by the sudden change, none of Gary's other friends had seemed the slightest bit surprised that he had found a preference in the pokemon over science. Andrew's response had, in fact, been a simple "I told you so" in an annoying singsong voice that had earned the blonde a sharp hit to the back of the head. Anna had been a bit taken aback only because of how much Gary had wanted to be involved in the lab work that he was now backing out of. The overall response had been supportive and he was thankful that he didn't have to hear anyone trying to talk him out of it.

It was now Friday and he wasn't entirely sure how to feel about the upcoming weekend – Anna's test was the next day and Gary couldn't deny being nervous about what could happen depending on Anna's performance. She had said months before – October, if he remembered correctly – that she was considering being a biology teacher but, for reasons he felt to be rather obvious, he just couldn't see her doing it. She was simply too much of an oddball for that. In all honesty, Gary could most easily see her studying music like her sister, or even perhaps general biology. Teaching just seemed to be a bit of a stretch for her.

He wondered what would happen if she ended up going off to college; would they get a house together somewhere near her school of choice, or would she simply commute and stay in Pallet? No matter what happened, change was in store and though it didn't quite scare him, it made him a bit uneasy. The impending change gave him mixed feelings – on one hand, it felt like everything was going to be fine; no matter what, he and Anna would be together and things would all just fall into place if given time. On the other hand, he felt a sense of dread, almost a premonition that something bad was going to happen and soon. The first feeling was prevalent though he wouldn't describe the second as an underlying paranoia that things wouldn't go his way. It was wholly indescribable; much like in a movie or a book, where everything was going smoothly but the viewer or reader knew the end was near and that the climax had to occur sometime soon. It was a simple _knowing_ that something was going to happen; that was how strong this feeling in his gut was.

That was one of the reasons he had come outside this evening while his friends were in the music room and Anna was in her own bedroom, doing one last study session before she went to Cerulean City the next day to take the test at one of the universities up there. The plan was that Michelle would drive her to the test site and then meet up with Bella, May, and Kate for a few hours of shopping. Once Anna was done, the girls would likely head to the beach before Michelle would drop her off at her cousin's house to pick up the car that Nicole had bought her for Christmas. The Firebird had apparently needed several things replaced – Anna had tried explaining to Gary what those things were but, knowing little about cars, the only words he had recognized were engine and brakes. Now that Anna's cousin in Cerulean had fixed those issues, it was entirely up to her to fix up the aesthetic parts of the car. Part of Gary was certain that Nicole had set that particular part of the deal in place in the hopes that Anna would go out and get a job though it was fairly obvious that she didn't plan on that.

Another thing that crept to his mind was what Anna's reaction to seeing a family member other than her mother and sister would be. Gary knew enough aspects of her dark past to worry that visiting a cousin would have a negative effect on her.

As he meandered through the trees, Gary thought over all of these things, never dwelling on any topic for a long period of time. It felt almost refreshing to be able to have a thought come to him and then leave relatively quickly without any effort on his part as another thought took its place.

"I figured I would find you out here."

Gary turned to find Anna behind him, casually approaching him. "What happened to studying?" he asked, reaching out his hand as she reached him.

"Were you ever able to study for three hours straight?" Anna shot back, taking Gary's hand and walking with him.

"No," Gary replied with a soft laugh. "We usually got bored and started screwing around with instruments… And then we would have to cram through the classes before whatever exam it was," he added as an afterthought.

"I'm sure Alex loved that."

Gary shook his head with another small laugh. "We never did it in his classes – it was more fun to mess with him; Andrew usually got him to laugh and lose his place in the lectures."

"Sounds like fun," Anna said in a slightly wistful voice that caused her boyfriend to look over at her, unsure of what to make of it. "You may not have liked school that much, but at least you had friends like Andrew and Chelsea to keep you amused. I'm not going to have anyone to do that when I go…"

"What makes you say that?"

"You remember what I said in October? About what I was thinking about going to school for?" Gary nodded, surprised that she had mentioned one of the things that he had been pondering. "I changed my mind."

"I could never picture you teaching, Anna," he admitted, eliciting a small giggle from her.

"I don't have the patience for it and I don't even like kids that much… I would like my own but to be held responsible for someone else's brats? Please. Not for me."

"And what does this have to do with you having friends in school? I thought you were going to go to one of the schools in Viridian since Michelle and Kate go there… Plus it's close by and you could drive there."

Anna scoffed and shook her head with a slight look of disgust. "There's nothing in Viridian other than the mall and a few movie theaters. I want to go some place with a metal scene and the only places in Kanto with one are Pewter and Saffron, neither of which have a good school." Gary glanced at her curiously, wondering where exactly she was going with this and why the music scene in the cities would be such a big deal for her. "Sinnoh probably has the biggest metal scene outside of Europe," she added slyly, making Gary laugh.

"Don't tell me you're thinking of moving to Sinnoh," he replied amusedly.

"Pastoria is pretty nice and there's a good university there –"

"What suddenly turned you on to Pastoria?" Gary interrupted, genuinely curious.

"Well, you keep bringing it up in front of May; it was only a matter of time before I started thinking about it," she pointed out. "Actually, I thought about it a bit last summer when I went there for the first time; back when I was still in a band."

"I forgot about that…" Gary muttered under his breath, remembering that Anna had always had stories from band practice to tell him when he was still sixteen. "Whatever happened with that anyway?"

"I got sick of being their whore, plus the drummer was a stoner and the guitarist couldn't play for shit. And there's only so much thrash metal you can take before going insane," she added with a grin.

Gary rolled his eyes. "That explains why you still listen to it," he said sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up," Anna scolded playfully, slapping his arm as she did so. "I guess now would be a good time to tell you that I only listen to Metallica and Slayer so much because it annoys you. Anyway," she pressed on, ignoring Gary's surprised and mildly annoyed reaction. "I've been really trying to find something that I'm good at and that I _actually_ really like over the past few weeks –"

"Any luck with that?"

Anna nodded with a smile at the question as she stopped walking and leaned against a tree so that she could face Gary. "Do you remember what I used to do when we were kids and we traveled around Kanto with Mom and the other girls?"

"After battles?" Gary asked in slight confusion as he thought back to the years when he had been a traveling pokemon trainer. Anna nodded again, her smile fading slightly as she kept her eyes on her boyfriend to judge his reaction. "I remember," he replied, a grin curving his lips as memories briefly took over his thoughts. "You would pretend to be a journalist and write articles about the battles," he added with a small laugh. He could vividly remember the notebook she had kept with her on their travels; she would write a blow-by-blow article describing nearly every serious battle of his, complete with hand-drawn pictures of the pokemon locked in combat, much like what would be found in a magazine dedicated to professional trainers.

"Anything to feed your ego." The playful comment was met by laughter on both sides before Gary cupped Anna's face in his hands and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "I still have that notebook, by the way."

"Thinking of going to school to become a journalist, babe?" he asked in a teasing voice.

Anna shrugged and leaned forward to kiss him again. "It makes sense, doesn't it? I used to write a lot of stories when I was younger too, and my own album and band reviews. I looked it up when I thought about it and found out that one of the best schools for journalism is in Hearthome City… It just, I don't know… It seems right."

"You're being serious?" Gary asked in disbelief. For the past week, he had been talking about Sinnoh in front of his sister at any time the opportunity arose – whether he was talking to Andrew about the last time they had hung out with Damien and some of their other friends in Pastoria, reminding Chelsea of experiences at school, or debating with Chris over whether Pastoria or Sunyshore was a better city for concerts. The intention had been to show his sister that it was a nice place, full of people who would quickly welcome her were she to move there. Thinking back, he realized that Anna had been present for many of those instances; he hadn't noticed that she had paid attention to the conversations between him and his friends.

Apparently their words had been at least somewhat convincing if they had caught Anna's attention like this.

Gary's question was met with another nod and one of Anna's mischievous grins that often made his heart soar – he loved seeing that expression grace her pretty features. "You talk about Pastoria a lot, whether you notice it or not," she pointed out. "And you act differently when you're there; you're more relaxed around your friends there. I like everyone there too, they're easy to get along with –"

"You obviously haven't been around Nik and Charlotte often enough – they're always fighting with each other… Not to mention the fact that Nik is bipolar and has a borderline personality disorder; one of the reasons he and Andrew don't always get along very well."

"I'm somehow not surprised about Nik, with what little I've heard from Andrew and Abby, I'm surprised Andrew isn't more messed up than he is… Sad situation to have parents not care about you. Family issues are the worst."

Gary shifted his weight uncomfortably and thought of one of the many things that had come to mind while he had wandered amongst the trees before Anna had arrived. "I've been meaning to ask you… That cousin of yours in Cerulean –"

"Don't." Anna's voice cut him off sharply and suddenly before he could continue, her eyes darkening severely as she immediately understood what he meant. Gary had been one of the few people she had trusted enough in her teen years to explain the reasoning behind her self mutilation to.

He held his hands up as though in surrender, not wanting to spark her ire. "I know how much it bothers you just to be reminded of being –" He cut off as he realized what he had been about to say when he noticed a touch of desperation enter Anna's eyes. He mentally kicked himself, realizing that he had just ruined the entire conversation by being nearly as tactless as Alex. "It's just that I don't want you to have to go through that on your own. And I don't want a repeat of when you were nine," he added softly.

"If it was the same cousin who caused this," Anna gestured to her thighs as she spoke. "Then I wouldn't be going. Mom wouldn't have trusted him for this." She sighed and took a second to regain her former composure, straightening and allowing her eyes to soften slightly. "Pastoria." she said simply.

Nodding, Gary allowed a small smile to cross his face. "Hearthome is just over an hour away, if you take the shortcuts there, and Pastoria has quite a few opportunities for journalism there."

"Sinnoh's known for their education system," Anna added, returning Gary's smile. "You're not really held down to the lab…" she said a bit hesitantly.

"If you pass the exam with a high enough score… Are you going to apply?" A nervous feeling was starting to form in Gary's stomach as he pondered her response to the question.

Anna swallowed hard as her eyes flickered away from Gary for a moment, fear creeping into mind. Mentally committing to this idea alone was a huge step as she was a bit reluctant to let go of her relatively care-free teenage years. Growing up, going to school, and starting a career were all daunting tasks on their own but somehow, this felt right. With Gary at her side, she was certain she could make it. She finally nodded after a moment, meeting his eyes with a boldness that caught him by surprise. "I'll apply," she agreed. "If I get in?"

A surprised laugh escaped Gary and he quickly reached out to hug Anna for a reason that he couldn't quite figure out. "One step at a time, Ann. I'm not quite ready to think about moving out of home entirely," he replied in a mirthful tone that left Anna confused.

Pushing away her sudden confusion, she smiled. "How about that marriage step?" she teased.

"Hmm… I don't know about that one yet, either." Gary laughed again as Anna gave a playful pout. Smirking slightly, he leaned forward and captured her lips with his own, pulling away after a moment so that he could speak softly with his mouth near her ear. "Of course, some people have long engagements."

Anna pulled away and frowned at him for a split second before grinning and punching his arm. "You teasing bastard – you'd better make up your mind, sweetie, because that test is tomorrow. Like it or not, I'm going to pass that test with flying colors and I'm going to get into that school. You love Sinnoh – it's obvious with the way you talk about Pastoria – I think you would move there in a heartbeat."

Still smirking, Gary moved away from the tree that they were leaning against and took Anna's hand to lead her through the woods once more. "Never said I was arguing with you babe. Give it, oh, I don't know, a month or so and I might feel differently about that."

"The tournament is in a month," Anna said, stopping suddenly enough to make Gary stop and turn to look at her with an irritatingly smug grin. "You're planning something."

Gary shook his head in amusement and began walking once more, tugging on Anna's wrist to make her follow him. "Prove it," was all he said in reply.

If it was possible, even more things were falling into place and Gary currently felt as though he were on top of the world. He and Anna stayed in the woods awhile longer, their casual trek through the trees turning into a playful chase, followed by a quick wrestling match amongst the fallen leaves before the good-natured blows turned to kisses shared between laughs. The kisses slowly deepened from the playful pecks to the full, passionate ones that they were so used to from each other as their hands slowly moved to caress each other.

A memory from August – a mere two weeks after he had moved home – came to Gary's mind; Anna had come to him as he wandered amongst the trees nearest the house while he recovered from one of the many hangovers she had induced. Their kisses back then had been frenzied, turning easily to an equally frenzied fuck against the trunk of a tree. Gary had to fight down a smile as he thought of how far they had come in such a short amount of time. Here they were, in nearly the same spot where they'd had such frantic sex that had left his body begging for more, yet now exchanging unhurried kisses while slowly disrobing just enough to make love as dusk began to settle in around them.

As they slowly regained their composure before heading back to the house, Gary was certain that nothing could bring him down from the high that he was currently on. With his recent epiphany and newfound joy at working with the pokemon on the reserve combined with Anna's idea, he was certain that everything would continue to simply fall into place around him as it was doing so far.

They were both happy and on the brink of finally reaching an adulthood that they were now ready for, their love was strong and seemingly unwavering. On top of that, Gary hadn't cut himself in nearly eight months and he had finally let down the wall surrounding him. Everything was perfect.

Nothing could bring him down.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Hmm… Anna's past (and Rachael's, subsequently) has been mentioned several times throughout the story so far and yet we haven't found much out about it. _Maybe _it'll come up sometime soon. Gary also seems to be getting a bit cocky while we've been seeing a lack of action…

Arch-trainer – I think you know my characters too well! As always, I loved reading your reviews – I certainly liked reading your guesses about Gary and Anna's future. : ) I'm not saying anything though since I've had the whole tournament part planned out for awhile now. :p As far as the suicide attempt convo goes; it might come up again at some point…


	65. Chapter 65: Curiosities Part 3

**Beyond The Walls**

Sorry for not updating sooner, I kind of got too into my latest fic and forgot about everything else! With school starting up (my final year of college – yay!), I don't know how often I'll be able to write since I need to work to pay some of my student loans and I still need to do my student teaching internship as an education major so I will be very busy. : ( I might be able to update this maybe once a month once school gets going but I'm certainly not going to let this fic die unfinished.

Chapter 65: Curiosities Part 3

Tracey sighed softly as yet another shriek interrupted his conversation with Ash; a shout from Andrew's room was followed by a dull thud and footsteps racing out of his bedroom and down the hall. Seconds later they could hear Gary and Andrew racing up the attic stairs while yelling at each other. The two boys had been play fighting like this for most of the day, which, for Andrew, had only been two hours. Though the banter and wrestling had been amusing at first, it had grown rather annoying after twenty minutes, much less two hours. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to ignore the sounds of his boyfriend pinning his former crush to floor of the attic. No doubt they would be back downstairs in five more minutes, considering they had been all over the house, from the basement-turned-den to the attic.

"Do you think we should try breaking them up?" Ash asked nervously as they heard scuffling on the floor over their heads.

"Chris already tried, it didn't do any good," Tracey groaned. The older boy had tried several times to make Gary and Andrew behave themselves but had given up after an hour of failed attempts. The only true result of the interferences was a sword of Andrew's that Chris had confiscated and hid in his bedroom. "So, you took those tests already?" he asked, eager to continue the conversation they had been having a moment before.

"Yeah, and I passed them all," the trainer replied with his normal enthusiasm. "They were pretty easy, actually," he pressed on as Gary and Andrew once more ran down the stairs, calling to each other in German and Finnish the entire way. "That's starting to get annoying," Ash muttered as the door to Andrew's adjacent bedroom slammed loudly.

"You know, maybe it would be a bit quieter in the study," Tracey suggested, standing up and making a move to head to the door. Ash immediately followed suit but Tracey paused at the door and gestured for Ash to go ahead of him, instructing him to head to the study down the hall. He sighed again as Ash left and braced himself mentally before knocking loudly on his boyfriend's door and pushing it open without waiting for a response.

An irritated groan escaped Tracey as he stepped inside the room to find it far messier than usual – clothes were scattered everywhere, the blankets from the bed had been thrown on the floor in the middle of the room while the sheets draped messily onto the floor, several swords were missing from their mounts on the wall… He was almost surprised that the furniture was still in one piece considering the way the two were play-fighting with the swords.

"Why the _hell_ are you two fighting with real swords?" Tracey exclaimed the second he closed the door behind him.

Gary laughed and tossed his sword on the ground as he dropped onto the couch near the window. "It was his idea," he replied casually, shaking his hair out his face with barely-concealed mirth.

"And, as always, you went along with it, you dumbass," Andrew shot back, pointing his sword at Gary with a smirk on his face. Gary merely stuck his tongue out at him and lay back against the cushions of the couch.

"Andrew, put the sword down before you kill someone," Tracey sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried hard to refrain from yelling at them. How stupid were they to be playing with real swords as though they were harmless toys? The fake, plastic ones were dangerous enough with the way those two played!

"Aw, but Trace –"

"Put it back. Gary's too, while you're at it."

At that point, Gary sat up, turned, and rested his arms on the back of the couch so that he was facing the couple. "You're no fun, Trace," he whined, though there was still a poorly-suppressed grin on his face.

"You have no idea how much fun he can be," Andrew interrupted when Tracey opened his mouth to reply. He winked at Tracey and then shot Gary a glare that caused the teen to scowl at him. "A hell of a lot more than you, you damned squeamish little fuck."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah; I know – gay sex is more fun than straight sex. You've told me. At least I don't have to waste time with foreplay."

"Enough, guys! Can you please act your age for an hour?"

Andrew sighed and sank onto the bed after throwing the blankets back on it while Gary huffed and settled back against the cushions once more. "Fine," the blonde boy reluctantly agreed. "I'm not happy about it though – we're bored out of our minds!"

Tracey left the room without another word and closed the door behind him, leaning against it for a moment with his eyes closed as he heard the two teens in the room behind him laugh about something. The general air in the house over the past week had been rather lighthearted, as though some palpable tension had been entirely removed from it. Gary was constantly in a good mood that seemed to border on obnoxious whenever he was around an equally chipper Andrew. Chris and Chelsea had both seemed rather used to their behavior and either joined in or tried to break them up before someone got hurt – Chelsea was usually the former while Chris was almost always the latter. However, most people weren't as used to it as May and the girls, excluding Anna, would shoot surprised or confused looks at Gary. Anna seemed amused by it but May seemed exasperated and, at times, downright angry that things were going so well for her little brother while things were spiraling downward for her.

Aside from May's shortened fuse, everything was great. Anna and Gary's relationship had reached new levels of cuteness while Chris and Bella seemed to be deepening their already rather serious relationship. Tracey had finally worked up the nerve to speak with Andrew about slowing things down and, to his surprise, the guitar-obsessed blonde had responded with a heartfelt 'thank Odin!' that had caused Tracey to laugh. Since then, they had been doing simple things like watching movies or going on actual dates, something that always seemed to be followed by making out in the backseat of Andrew's Nova, only stopping when the sexual tension became nearly unbearable. They hadn't done anything sexual other than light groping and heavy kissing but Andrew seemed to welcome this, claiming that there was always the internet for him to turn to. That particular statement had been accompanied by a sly wink and an impish grin that seemed to fit him so well.

Though there was constantly a slight frustration at the lack of sexual contact, it felt oddly normal; as though this was the way a relationship was _supposed _to be. The hand holding, the late-night cuddles in front of a television, and the cute blushes they shared simply made it feel right. When exactly they would be intimate again was unknown to both of them, though it appeared that both boys were determined to make their next escapade special in some way after slowly pushing the physical aspect of the relationship further. It was almost like they had restarted the entire relationship at the day they had first met, but Tracey, having valued emotional closeness over promiscuity, felt far more comfortable with this while Andrew, who had longed for a true relationship, had no argument to offer.

Things were indeed wonderful around the Oak house, which was oddly quiet now that Gary and Andrew had calmed down a bit. The girls, including Chelsea but excluding Kate, had headed to Cerulean City for a day of fun in the sun while Anna took her exam and picked up her car. Kate was due over in a short while and was likely to join Tracey and Ash to hang out with, rather than Gary and Andrew. Chris had been back and forth between his bedroom and the music room where he had been playing on his electric drum kit with a rather low volume to keep from annoying anyone while Shawn had been reading downstairs in the sunroom, as far away from Gary and Andrew's hyper antics as he could get.

A moment later and Tracey was quietly closing the door to the study where Ash was currently peering over the bookshelves that covered two of the walls of the room.

"Maybe we'll have five minutes of peace, if we're lucky," he muttered as he sank into a cushy arm chair in the middle of the room.

Ash laughed and turned away from the bookshelf. "I think it's kind of funny actually; their 'fighting' makes training pretty interesting," he replied with a small shrug of the shoulders that caused his pikachu to hop from his shoulders to sit on his head.

"How's training going lately?" Tracey asked after closing his eyes for a minute. The noise that had been going through the house all day had given him a headache that made him want to go lay down for an hour or so but he had promised to hang out with Ash today and Kate was supposed to come over to hang out as well. He hadn't been able to observe the training as much as he would have liked to lately as Gary's new job with the pokemon had created a larger workload for everyone in the lab while the professor had also decided to shrink May's workload, again providing more work for everyone else.

"Awesome! That spearow I caught while Gary and Andrew were in Sinnoh gained five levels this week – all thanks to Chelsea working so much with me." Tracey grinned at this; Ash and Chelsea had been spending a lot of time training together in the past several weeks, spending time in the hills and woods around Pallet to look for pokemon to capture and battling for hours after Andrew and Gary had stopped for the day. Their interactions made it clear that Ash had a crush on her and Tracey couldn't help but find it to be rather amusing. "That female nidoran already evolved, Rattata's up three levels this week and should probably evolve in another two weeks if we keep training like this. Oh, and Growlithe reached level ten already."

"Geez, Ash," Tracey murmured in surprise. He hadn't expected that much progress over the course of a week; then again, with Chelsea's extra help combined with the fact that Gary was now letting Ash train with the houndoom pack, progress was to be expected. And that wasn't including the help that Kate had started offering with her own pokemon, either. "You've already got five new species and you should have at least two more pretty soon, if Spearow and Rattata evolve on schedule. That's pretty impressive considering you haven't been working too hard on catching new species."

Ash nodded proudly and Pikachu gave an excited squeak that indicated he felt the same way as his trainer. "Thanks. I'm hoping to find a sentret and a hoothoot along Route One sometime; maybe I'll take my bike up there next weekend."

"Catching and evolving them would give you four more species – that would put you at, what? Eighty-four species?" Ash nodded again.

"Pity there aren't any nidoran around here so I could catch a male one. It was pure luck that Professor Oak got in that female." Just two weeks earlier, the professor had received an abandoned nidoran from Professor Elm who, having heard about Ash's intentions of becoming a gym leader and knowing about his fondness for taking in pokemon, sent it over to help Ash's cause and to give the pokemon a better trainer.

A sudden burst of noise came from the music room, causing both boys to jump as they hadn't heard the door to Andrew's bedroom across the hall open and close. Tracey and Ash simply looked at each other for a moment before shaking their heads, wondering if it was at all possible to have quiet day without having to hear bickering or deafening music. After awhile they continued their conversation about training and Tracey found himself quite surprised and rather impressed by the stories of some of the more recent battles that had occurred. It seemed as though Ash had been winning most of the battles lately with Andrew coming in as a close second. The conversation eventually turned towards the competition that was now a bit more than a month away and, though Ash and the other three were all confident with their abilities, the trainer was certain that they would end up battling each other and was admittedly a bit nervous about doing so.

Nearly an hour later, Kate come over and the three teens spent a long while laughing, talking, and generally enjoying themselves even though they were constantly yelling over the stereo and guitars playing so loudly from the other room. It was nearly two in the afternoon when the phone rang as Anna called to announce that she had not only finished her exam but had passed it; Kate had answered the phone while Ash set off to tear Gary away from whatever instrument he was playing so that she could tell him the news herself.

A soft sigh of relief escaped Kate when the instruments down the hall fell silent, allowing her to hear properly for perhaps the first time since she had entered the house. Gary entered the room with Ash and Andrew following him a moment later, the latter of whom greeted Kate before cheerfully pressing a kiss against his boyfriend's lips while Gary quickly retrieved the phone. Anna immediately began talking excitedly the moment that Gary picked up the phone, causing him to laugh softly as he inquired as to her performance on the exam that she had been studying for.

"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she replied with a teasing lilt to her voice that made Gary laugh again.

"Alright, what's the bad news then?" he asked, feeling rather certain that the good news had something to do with passing the exam.

"If everything goes right from here, we won't be living in Pallet for much longer."

"That doesn't sound like bad news to me, Anna. What's the good news? You passed?"

"Of course! With a high enough score to get into that school in Hearthome. I'll have to start on the application when I get back since I might have to take a few classes at the community college in Viridian to get in but then again, acceptance at that school is more based on portfolio work than grades and all of that shit."

Gary nodded slightly to himself, thinking that this was a rather good thing considering his girlfriend had failed most classes except art and English in high school before dropping out. "We can still move there even if you don't get in. There are other schools in Sinnoh," he mused. Across the room both Andrew and Kate looked up in surprised, wondering if they had overheard correctly.

"True," Anna replied in a rather indifferent tone.

"Have you gotten to tell anyone else yet?"

"The girls know; Michelle and Chelsea are on their way to pick me up since Bella and May are out shopping or whatever. I tried calling up Mom to let her know but no one answered, which is really weird since she works at home on Saturdays." There was a slight edge to her voice that indicated she was either worried or disappointed by this fact but without the video on the phone activated, Gary couldn't tell which it was.

"Maybe she went out grocery shopping or something," he suggested with a small shrug, easily dismissing it. He knew that it wasn't at all uncommon for Nicole to go out in the town in order to put off work, much like the way Anna would often find a multitude of ways to put off any sort of work.

"I tried her cell, too. No answer."

"That is kind of weird for your mom but I doubt it's anything major… She probably forgot to charge her cell phone or left it in the car or something like that. Want me to call her for you and tell her about your score?"

"No," Anna sighed. "I'll just go over to the house later and talk to her then but I bet she'll drag us out to a celebratory dinner with Rachael." Remembering their recent fight all too well, Gary chose not to comment on her words. "Anyway, I need to go because Michelle and Chelsea just got here and we want some time at the beach before I go pick up my baby."

"Okay, babe," Gary replied, forcing down a groan as he did so. For some reason, he didn't particularly want to get off of the phone with her today; something about her voice was just so welcome for reasons completely beyond him. "I'll see you in a few hours," he gave in reluctantly before hanging up and turning away from the phone to see Andrew staring at him with a strange expression. "What?" he asked, shifting uncomfortably.

"Sinnoh?" Andrew asked with a scowl that clearly indicated the fun and games from earlier were now over.

Gary sighed and leaned against the desk that the phone sat upon, crossing his arms as he met his friend's eyes calmly. "Anna's hoping to go to the university in Hearthome for journalism," he informed Andrew flatly, his voice giving away nothing about his thoughts on this idea.

"That's so fitting for Anna," Kate spoke up suddenly, her soft voice effectively slicing through the tension that was starting to develop between the two boys. "I'm surprised she didn't think to do that sooner."

"That would involve moving to Sinnoh," Andrew observed in an oddly quiet voice that he seemed to adopt whenever he was starting to get angry. Tracey seemed to sense something as he lightly rested a hand on Andrew's back to keep him from saying anything he would regret.

Gary nodded slowly. "Most likely Pastoria."

"Nice of you to mention this."

"Anna didn't bring up any of this until last night, Andrew, I never got a chance to –"

"Was this before or after you two fucked in the woods last night?" Andrew snapped, the sharpness in his voice caused Tracey to remove his hand from his back while Ash and Kate exchanged nervous glances.

"Before," Gary muttered after a moment of hesitation.

"Amazing how you could find the time to brag about having sex with her but you couldn't take a minute to mention that you were thinking of moving back to Sinnoh."

"Brag? You asked and then insisted on details – as usual! I didn't bring it up because I wanted a chance to think about the whole thing first."

"Of course," Andrew exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "You always have to think about every little thing –"

"Don't start," Gary warned. The last thing he wanted to do was start a fight, especially not over something like this when Tracey, Kate, and Ash were around. "Moving to Sinnoh on my own with my… girlfriend is a pretty big deal, you know. _What_?" he added impatiently as Andrew fixed him with a suspicious look.

The other three people in the room had caught on to the slight hesitation before the word 'girlfriend' as well and had all cast surprised and confused glances Gary's way. Something in that slight pause had filled Andrew with a sick feeling; it was the same type of pause that occurred whenever Gary had stopped himself from saying a different word and the context that pause had been used in made Andrew uneasy.

"What's with the uncertainty?"

"Nothing," he replied indifferently.

"Nothing?" Andrew echoed unbelievingly. He shook his head impatiently and Gary rolled his eyes at the move. "You're planning something."

"Don't be ridiculous," Gary scoffed. "What would I be planning?"

"I don't think I even want to know."

Gary met his eyes as he said this and found himself unable to come up with a reply. The tone Andrew had used was flat and his eyes gave away far more than his voice did; those eyes that were usually cheerful and mischievous were now filled with hurt, as if Gary had intentionally kept a secret from him. As he looked at his friend, Gary suddenly understood what was going on. That kicked puppy look that was currently on Andrew's face explained so many little interactions between them that Gary had to fight the urge to kick himself for not noticing it sooner.

"Christ, Andrew –"

"You want to marry her, don't you?" Gary stayed silent and simply kept his gaze on Andrew. "Fuck, that's an obvious enough answer, Gary."

Once more, Gary said nothing, something which irritated his best friend to no end. With a huff, Andrew stood from the chair he had settled into and stalked from the room, slamming his bedroom shut a moment later while Gary sighed quietly. There was no way he could have possibly denied his intentions of eventually marrying his girlfriend but he knew that, despite the way everything was looking up, he knew that he and Anna had one particular issue to get past – Rachael. For that reason, he couldn't confirm his intentions either as he knew that there was no way of knowing when they would move past that issue. Either way, he knew that he was not going to defend his love for Anna – he'd had to defend his friendship with her for years while May and Kate both struggled with their closeness. The last thing he was going to do was defend the situation for an ex-boyfriend.

Ash and Kate were both exchanging awkward glances while Tracey's gaze had fallen to the floor. He had caught onto the same thing as Gary, though he had been suspecting it for awhile now. Gary and Andrew had been in an unofficial relationship - he had caught onto that probably before even Gary had – and, unfortunately, that relationship had never officially been declared as over. Despite anything between him and Andrew, whatever had been between the two teens was still there, even if it was one-sided. He hung his head with a sigh, glancing up a moment later to meet Gary's eyes as the other boy mouthed an apology to him before leaving the room himself.

--- --- ---

Andrew was already playing loud music by the time Gary reached the closed door to his bedroom, knowing that any knock would likely be unheard or ignored, Gary opened the door and stepped inside. The stereo was loud enough that Gary had to walk over to the desk and turn the volume down before approaching his friend, who was currently slouching on the couch with a scowl on his face while Loki and Odin played on the floor in the center of the room.

"I think we have a bit of a problem," he spoke up as he stepped around the wrestling growlithes.

"Really?"

A small sigh escaped Gary as he stood in front of his friend. "Andrew, it's too obvious," he said softly. "This isn't like before with your girlfriends. Things are pretty serious between you and Tracey – it's not fair to him if you like someone else."

"I like Tracey a lot more than you realize," Andrew hissed, glaring at Gary as he did so.

"I know that, but the point is –"

"The point is that you don't know what you're talking about."

"Fine," Gary replied, calmly shrugging the comment off. "Either way, I don't want to be the cause of problems between you and Tracey."

Andrew scoffed at that. "Please, we got together because we both liked you but you were too busy with Anna to care."

"No, that's why you slept together – you started dating because you actually like each other and you two have a lot in common. Tracey's over the stuff that happened between us in October and is really trying with you. Maybe you should try getting over everything between us and our little 'relationship' before you screw up the best one that you've been in."

"There was no closure!" Andrew exclaimed suddenly.

"There was no opening either!" He stepped back and took a deep breath, hoping to gain some perspective on the situation by stepping away from Andrew. "Look, I love Anna, there's no getting around that. If I marry her or move away with her, I don't want there to be any bad blood over it. If you can't deal with that then maybe it would be best to put things with Tracey on hold for awhile." Andrew's expression softened slightly as Gary turned away and began to head towards the door to give the other boy time to collect his thoughts. It wasn't until Gary had reached the door that Andrew replied.

"I still like you," he began softly, staring at the carpet beneath his feet.

"I think you've made that obvious today." Gary shot back as he turned warily to face his friend once more.

"I don't know why," Andrew continued as though Gary hadn't even replied. "Maybe because I saw so much of myself in you at first, maybe because I was the only one you would let close enough to you to see what was wrong and maybe I just got too involved. The thing is, it was really hard to deal with towards the end of summer. It was like, I wanted to get out of the relationship and just be the friend that was there for you so that maybe you could let someone else just as close to you so that maybe things could get better but I couldn't just do that. It wasn't as though we had said we were dating or anything; if I had just pulled away suddenly, you would have been even more messed up." He sighed softly and looked up at Gary from across the room, nervously running his hands over the loose ponytail that his hair was currently held back with. "And then when everything happened, you expected me to keep the suicide thing a secret when all I really wanted to do was to tell Alex so that someone could actually do something. You didn't even give _me_ any sort of explanation –"

"You knew why I did it," Gary interjected flatly.

"I know! But the explanation would have helped. No matter what, I couldn't just cut it off because I couldn't remember when we had gone from 'just friends' to pretty much dating, and if I couldn't then you sure as hell couldn't because you were too caught up in everything else to notice your sexuality much less the fact that you were dating a guy! I don't know – maybe I just need you to tell me that it's over. Maybe I just need time to get over it because I'm still stuck in our stupid habits! I still want to kiss you every time you say something funny or do something really well. I still want to shove you against the wall and make out with you whenever we play around because that's what I'm still used to!" He was babbling now and he knew it. Across the room, Gary groaned quietly and began to make his way back to him. "It's been getting better but there are times when I see you with her that it's like a knife in the back. And I love that you love her because she's awesome and she's the best person out there for you but… I just want that with _someone_, Gary! You guys have that so naturally and so easily and I guess I don't like it because she has what used to be mine and now I have someone else but I don't have what _we_ used to."

"And you say _I_ think too much," Gary replied with a small smile. "Andrew, I'm officially dumping you because you've been cheating on me with Tracey since October and you've cheated on me with three different girlfriends, plus Chelsea and a bunch of other girls."

A shaky smile appeared on Andrew's face at the comment. "And you've been cheating on me with Anna, Tracey, Chelsea, Michelle, Rachael –"

"Ok, you can stop now!"

"Why? That's not even half of the girls you've been with!" Andrew exclaimed, his smile blossoming into a grin. "By the way, Chelsea doesn't count for me because that was a mutual agreement between all three of us. And I will never attempt another threesome again."

"Please don't remind me of that disaster," Gary cut in, covering his ears as he remembered a rather embarrassing event that had taken place while living in Pastoria. "Is that seriously all you needed to hear to make things right?"

"No, but it's a start. I don't know… Just hearing you and Anna talk about moving together really bothered me for some reason. I'm sorry I freaked out like that."

"No problem. You do realize that you're going to have to talk to Tracey about this though, right? It's not fair for him to have to sit in the dark about this."

Andrew nodded in resignation, knowing that there was definitely going to be a serious talk between himself and his boyfriend that night. He hated knowing that he was putting Tracey through something as unpleasant as this but had a feeling that Tracey would be patient enough to deal with it. Usually he was able to keep his occasional lust for Gary suppressed but something about the way he had been talking with Anna about serious things that he had never even mentioned to his best friend had spiked a supreme jealousy that led to the conversation between himself and Gary. Now that things had been said, he hoped that things could possibly improve.

After an uncomfortable moment of standing there watching the puppies continue to wrestle on the floor, Gary suggested that they return to the study, which they did. Gary had immediately given Tracey a small, reassuring smile while Andrew went over to him, apologized quietly, and suggested that they go out someplace so that they could talk. As Tracey inquired as to where they would go Gary's cell phone rang; they ignored him as he answered and stood to leave the room while Andrew suggested simply going out somewhere quiet on the reserve. With a quick explanation to Ash and Kate, they stood to leave the room as well but Andrew paused when Gary stopped quite suddenly in the middle of the room.

It took only a second to realize that something was wrong as Gary had paled dramatically in a matter of seconds. Andrew placed a hand on his shoulder to silently inform Gary of his presence behind him and gave him an inquiring look with worry deep in his eyes.

Still on the phone, Gary simply shook his head a bit too rapidly and spoke in a slightly shaky voice. "Does Anna know about this?"

In the rather small room everyone heard the quiver in his tone and exchanged nervous glances, knowing that something was up.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Next chapter will be up much quicker than this one was! I swear!

Arch-trainer – Thanks as always for reviewing. I know what you mean about that bio teacher part, good luck with your student teaching – I know I'm pretty nervous about starting mine!


	66. Chapter 66: Unexpected Part 3

**Beyond The Walls**

I'm soooo sorry for the delay in this chapter! This is my senior year in college and it's just been so busy that I've had a hard time keeping up with writing. My student teaching internship is keeping me insanely busy and a full course load isn't helping me very much. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with this a bit better from now on. Anyway, here's a nice multi-chapter update as my apology!

Recap of last chapter – Anna took her test and passed, when she talked to Gary on the phone about it, she mentioned that she was a bit annoyed that she couldn't get a hold of her mother to tell her. She and Gary talk a bit about moving to Sinnoh and Andrew overhears and gets mad at Gary because he never told him about this particular plan. Andrew and Gary get in a wee bit of a fight because Andrew hasn't really gotten over Gary dating Anna and he still likes him. Andrew is still kind of in the habit of "dating" Gary because they were that way for so long and he's afraid of it messing things up between him and Tracey, especially since he and Tracey have decided to slow things down in their relationship. Gary formally "breaks up" with Andrew and they make up and go back into the room where Tracey, Ash, and Kate are hanging out. The chapter ends with Gary on the phone, with something having gone wrong…

This chapter starts just before the last one ends, when Gary and Andrew go back to the room that Tracey, Ash, and Kate were in.

Chapter 66: Unexpected Part 3

The study was quiet with a slightly uncomfortable air to it when Gary led Andrew back into the room. Kate and Ash were talking about something having to do with Ash's birthday, which was only two days away, while Tracey only half-listened to the conversation as he wondered what the two boys were talking about across the hall. He had assumed for quite some time now that Andrew still had feelings for Gary on occasion and he wasn't entirely surprised to see his boyfriend get angry over the way Gary and Anna had spoken so casually of moving when neither of them had mentioned it to anyone else around them. He'd heard raised voices from across the hall but, being unable to hear the exact words, he was unsure of what they were arguing about, though it seemed that it didn't particularly matter considering the way they came back into the room with no signs of bitterness between them.

Gary gave Tracey a small smile as he sat down next to Ash and Kate to join the conversation; Kate gave him a questioning glance when he sat down but he shook his head slightly. "I guess we'll have to have a party for you, Ash – your mom won't get mad if we get you drunk, will she?"

Ash rolled his eyes slightly but smiled and stayed quiet while Kate answered instead. "His birthday is on a Monday, Gary, you guys have to work the next day."

"So? I took my final exams in my last semester with a hangover and still passed with straight A's… Not entirely sure _how_ but that's beside the point."

"I wasn't planning on drinking on my birthday," Ash admitted, though he had a feeling Gary and Andrew would somehow get him drunk if they anything to do with it, especially since the trainer was turning eighteen.

"Whatever you say," Gary replied dryly. He couldn't care less whether or not his friend decided to drink but he was pretty sure Chelsea would hold him down and force tequila down Ash's throat if he didn't drink willingly. He was about to mention this when the sound of a guitar melody cut him off. Glancing around the room for the source of the noise, he mentally kicked himself as he felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket – he had forgotten about the new ringtone that Andrew had set up on his phone.

Kate giggled quietly when Gary pulled out the phone with a soft curse, obviously catching onto the way he had forgotten what his own phone sounded like when it rang; Gary stuck his tongue out at her without looking over at her. A glance at the screen of the phone revealed the incoming number to be that of Nicole's own cell phone, something which confused him slightly as she only called from her cell when she was looking for Anna. She knew Anna had her test today so why she was calling Gary was unknown to him. Maybe she had seen that Anna had called her and was simply calling Gary to find out whether or not she had passed.

"Anna's mom; I'll be back," he muttered as he stood up from the floor. "Hey, Nicole," he greeted calmly as he began walking towards the door.

"Hi, Gary," she replied in a soft voice that was incredibly unusual for her.

Nicole paused and Gary took the chance to speak up. "Anna was trying to call you awhile ago, she passed her exam."

"That's good; she's been worrying…"

There was another pause and this time Gary felt a sharp twinge of worry; Nicole was more reserved than her daughter but not this much so. "Is everything alright?" he asked nervously as Nicole sighed softly. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tracey and Andrew stand to leave the room, most likely to talk about what had just happened a moment ago in Andrew's bedroom. The nervous feeling building in Gary's stomach kept him from thinking too deeply into it.

"No… Gary, I'm at the hospital in Viridian right now."

"What are you doing at the hospi –" Gary stopped dead in the middle of the room, a sudden wave of dread washing over him. "Rachael." Nicole was quiet on the other end for a moment and Gary was left under the impression that she was trying to gather her wits before telling him something. Perhaps that was just paranoia though. Paranoid or not, there was still an unnerving feeling unfurling in the pit of his stomach.

"Rachael." Nicole echoed, a slight tremor in her voice almost confirming Gary's fears as she gave another sharp sigh. "God, Gary, you were right – I didn't want to believe you. I tried keeping an eye on her and talking to her but... She still did it."

Gary swallowed hard, shaking slightly as he tried to let the news sink in. This couldn't possibly be happening, he thought; not when everything had been going so well this morning. Not after all of the progress he had made since July. This obstacle simply couldn't exist outside of those paranoid worries that never came true outside of horrible nightmares on stormy nights. It couldn't happen in real life. And yet, he could hear that shock and numbness in Nicole's voice and it was unmistakable.

Noticing by now that something was wrong, Andrew tentatively approached him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder to alert him to his presence and looked at him worriedly, as though asking what had happened. It was finally beginning to sink in and Gary shook his head rapidly, hoping that, somehow, the move would make it untrue. "Does Anna know about this?" he asked, unable to keep that nervous quiver out of his voice.

Andrew's hand tightened slightly on Gary's shoulder and he heard Nicole sniffle and clear her throat softly before speaking again. "No, it happened last night and I couldn't tell Anna something like that when she had to get up early and go up to Cerulean City. I don't want to tell her until she's back home either because –"

"It would really upset her…"

"I think it would be best if you told her."

Gary sighed quietly, closing his eyes for a moment, only to open them and find that Andrew's expression had turned even more serious. "What happened?" Andrew asked softly but Gary shook his head again, ignoring the question.

"I'll tell her when she gets back," he agreed reluctantly. This was the last sort of thing he ever wanted to tell his girlfriend. "Is Rachael alright?"

"She's probably as good as she's going to get for today. She's been sleeping since one or two this morning and I doubt she's getting up any time soon – "

"I didn't wake up for almost a day afterwards," Gary informed her solemnly.

Andrew suddenly understood what was going on and glanced nervously at Tracey, who frowned in a questioning fashion. "Anna's sister?" he asked quietly. Gary nodded to Andrew's question as he continued the conversation with Nicole, offering to stop by the hospital with Anna later in the afternoon.

The room was silent when Gary finally flipped the phone shut and slipped it back into his pocket; he suddenly felt quite ill and couldn't imagine what Anna's reaction to this news would be. He sighed softly and ran a hand through his hair, trying to let Nicole's words sink in – something that he found to be rather difficult as he felt so numb that it seemed his thoughts had stopped cold. Andrew's hand remained on his shoulder and, though it was a comforting gesture, it was steadily growing annoying as things became more clear to Gary.

"Are you alright?" Andrew asked quietly. "Gary?" he pressed when his friend didn't reply.

Gary snorted and shook his head in disbelief over the question. "You've been through this before, why don't you tell me?" he hissed, shrugging Andrew's hand off of his shoulder and stalking out of the room.

He went straight to his bedroom across the hall and dropped onto the bed, barely noticing Umbreon as she awoke from her dozing state and stretched languidly. The pokemon seemed to sense that something was wrong and carefully stepped over the tangled blanket on the bed to her trainer, nudging his shoulder with her nose when she reached him. Gary absently scratched her ears as he gazed at the far wall of the room without really seeing it. Several long minutes passed and it seemed like things were moving in slow motion but, at the same time, his head was starting to spin. A few years earlier, if someone had told him that this situation would come to pass, he wouldn't have believed them but now… The only thing that could be said was that he felt terrible, as though he had let down a friend.

Essentially, that was exactly what he had done. He had been worried when he saw Rachael in the mall when he went with Anna and then even more so when he talked to her at her house when he tried to make up with Anna. He had told Andrew and May that he was worried about his friend and it had even been brought up in front of Alex so why hadn't he done anything?

Gary was well aware of the fact that he knew more about Rachael than the girls in their group did; except, perhaps, Anna. The girls all knew about Anna's past and, to an extent, they could see the crossover into Rachael's life. He had been one of the few people she ever talked to about the things that went on in her head; the inadequacy she felt in her sister's shadow as Anna was constantly the center of attention, the guilt she felt over the death of her father during her childhood… So many other things that Anna had dealt with as well – in a physically self-destructive manner as it were. The two girls had shared similar horrors at the hands of another family member – dreaded nightmares for any parent, things that made Gary's blood boil at the mere thought of… Despite that, there was that one thing that was obviously the cause of her manipulative and cold nature – the jealousy she felt for her sister who had always gotten so much extra attention from everyone for one reason or another.

Realizing that he had been perhaps her lone confidant filled Gary with a sense of guilt. If only he had listened to his instincts! It was his fault entirely – if only he had gone and talked to her!

He put his head in his hands, sighing as he felt that dizziness from earlier returning to him. He felt so ill; disgusted with himself for letting the people who were close to him talk him out of helping a friend in need.

It wasn't his fault, he realized suddenly. No, it was the fault of those who kept him from helping her – Alex, Andrew, Kate, Anna…

No.

Blaming them wouldn't change anything; he'd been the one to decide not to talk to Rachael. No one had forcefully kept him from doing so, no one had made him ignore her whenever he and Anna were over at Anna's house, and no one could take the blame for him… His arms were aching dreadfully – once more craving that sharp blade that he had given up.

A sharp sigh escaped him and he stopped petting Umbreon, instead wrapping his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. "I thought things were finally getting better, Bre," he muttered against her dark fur.

--- --- ---

Several moments had passed in awkward silence after Gary left the room, leaving Andrew to fiddle with his cell phone while Ash and Tracey made small talk and Kate looked as though she were deep in thought. It was Kate who finally broke the silence after awhile.

"Rachael did it, didn't she?" she asked quietly, of no one in particular.

Andrew glanced up from his phone and sighed softly as he finished his current text message to his brother. "Gary told you that he was worried?"

"No, I heard from Michelle," Kate replied with a bitter edge to her voice. Tracey and Ash both fell quiet at the uncharacteristic snap; it was obvious to anyone that Kate and Gary had started to grow distant over the past few weeks and it was quite apparent that the girl was annoyed by this fact. Andrew wanted to say something in response to this but chose not to, instead getting straight to the point in answering her initial question.

"That's what I'm assuming, but I really hope that's not the case," he admitted, shooting a glance Tracey's way. He was worried, though he didn't exactly want to admit it; his best friend had been doing well in the past few months – Gary had been happier than he could recall him ever being and Andrew knew that he hadn't cut himself in quite some time. Unfortunately, he also knew that this was a bad situation. He had been through the same thing before and he had put many people close to him through it as well and he could only imagine what Gary was currently going through in the next room, especially with his bad habit of overthinking everything.

"Do you think he's going to cut himself?" Kate asked softly, causing Andrew to sigh again and run a hand through his hair.

"Who knows with him?" he asked, shaking his head. "He's been good but there've been some close calls –"

"Not in four months though," Kate pointed out. The last incident she had heard of was back in December when Alex, Andrew, Anna, and May had all spoken to Gary in the kitchen just before Christmas.

"Four months isn't enough time to undo six years of habit," Andrew snapped.

"It is if you have enough will power."

"That's an awfully big 'if' for someone who's never been a cutter."

"Knock it off, Andrew," Tracey interceded wearily. "Gary's gotten this far, I'm sure he'll be okay with some time. Fighting with Kate isn't going to make things any better."

Ash nodded silently in agreement, hoping not to spark any further irritation in the blonde boy who was currently scowling at his boyfriend. Finally, Andrew sighed reluctantly and stalked over to one of the chairs near a window. Convinced that he would behave himself, Tracey turned his attention to the tense redhead and an obviously uncomfortable Ash. He wasn't entirely sure what to do as this situation was not only out of his control but it was entirely foreign to him. He knew that he and Andrew needed to talk about the conversation between Gary and Andrew and he had to admit that he was nervous about the implications this could have on their relationship. If Andrew was still attracted to Gary, he could deal with it – after all, he himself had to admit that he found the boy's new energy rather cute. However, if Andrew held deeper feelings for his ex, things could become complicated and Tracey had no desire to deal with any sort of drama. It seemed as though the tempers of some of the more stubborn and impatient people living in the large house had worn off on him a bit as he found himself becoming less and less passive. Andrew's oddly hostile attitude lately hadn't made things any easier.

"_He's just frustrated,_" Gary had told Tracey when he mentioned it in passing to him. _"He misses Pastoria but doesn't want to admit it because… Well, his family's really dysfunctional; let's just leave it at that."_

Shaking his head, Tracey jerked his attention back to the present. He could deal with his boyfriend on his own in a few minutes when they were alone, there were other things to handle first. "Kate, why don't you and Ash go tell Professor Oak what's happened and then go check up on Gary in a little while." The two younger teens nodded and left the room quietly, leaving the couple in a tense silence.

Andrew glanced over at Tracey when the door closed behind Kate and Ash. He felt irritable but wasn't entirely sure why and he had no idea why he had taken a random surge of anger out on Kate. He closed his eyes momentarily and let out a slow breath as Tracey sighed softly and shook his head.

"Andrew…" Tracey said quietly, his voice holding almost a desperate edge to it as it trailed off. "I know you're worried about Gary but… I think we need to talk and, since he needs some time to himself, now would probably be the best time to do it." He finished, managing to keep his voice calm and matter-of-fact. Andrew remained silent but his gaze had fallen to rest sheepishly on the floor, causing Tracey to sigh again. "I was under the impression that things were going well between us but, after everything between you and Gary, I'm not so sure."

"Things _are_ going good between us, Tracey," Andrew cut in quietly. "I don't know what happened today, it's like things went from one extreme to the other."

"That's exactly what happened," Tracey replied wearily as he sank into one of the armchairs along the wall. "You can say everything is going fine between us but it's obvious that something is bothering you."

"My best friend talking about moving away and marrying his girlfriend _might_ have something to do with that."

"It doesn't help that you still like him."

"No, it doesn't," Andrew agreed tiredly, suddenly slumping back against the cushions of his chair. "But it's habit, Trace. I'm used to things being a certain way between us and I'm not used to a real relationship either so it's just weird for me."

Tracey shook his head slightly. "You complain about Gary over-thinking things and here you are, over-complicating a relationship that you initiated in the first place. We've been going out four almost four months now, Andrew, don't you think you're just going to have to suck it up and deal with it?"

Andrew smiled at that and laughed softly. "Point taken," he said, sounding a bit more like his usual self. "I don't want to sound like I'm making excuses…" he began with a touch of hesitation a moment later. "But there's just so much going on right now that it's hard to get a grip on things. I'm so busy between training with everyone for the competition and working in the lab that it's hard to find time to keep up with my classes online and it doesn't help much that the semester's almost over so now I have to race to get everything done in time. That and I miss everyone back in Pastoria."

There was an underlying desperation in his tone that forced Tracey out of his seat. He cupped Andrew's face in his hands when he reached him and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before pulling away with a reassuring smile. "You can tell me when you're feeling stressed out, you know," he replied softly. "Don't let the stress get to you; you've got less than a month left to this semester and then you're going back to Pastoria to visit before the competition and then again afterwards. It's not a big deal."

Another small smile crossed Andrew's face but it seemed sad. Frowning slightly, Tracey kissed him again, taking a second after words to rub their noses together playfully. This time, Andrew's smile seemed genuine as the boy rested his hands on Tracey's hips and gazed up at him for a moment. "I don't know what I'm going to do over the summer, Trace," he admitted. "I might take a break from school and hang out in Pastoria with everyone up there for a few weeks. Can't miss concert season," he added with one of his usual playful grins.

Tracey nodded slowly, thinking over Andrew's idea for a moment before speaking. "That sounds good to me if it's something that'll make you happy."

"I think it will… But right now I think I should probably check to make sure there's no new blood-stained towels in Gary's bathroom." Tracey nodded again as Andrew stood up and pressed a quick kiss against his cheek before side-stepping him and heading towards the door of the room, leaving his boyfriend alone in the study.

--- --- ---

Time had been stretching on and on with no apparent end in sight, leaving him to dwell on things that he preferred to keep out of his mind. A soft knock on the door slowly brought him back to reality as pulled away from Umbreon and called for the person on the other side of the door to come in. His voice sounded hollow even to his own ears and he knew as soon as he saw Kate's worried face that she had heard it as well.

Gary knew it couldn't have been very long since he had left the other room and yet it felt like hours had gone by. No matter how much he tried to tell himself that there was nothing he could have done, another part of him insisted that talking to Rachael would have prevented any problem from arising. As Kate closed the door behind her, he forced the thoughts out of his mind and focused on her. She had gone pale since he had last seen her and her eyes looked slightly red as though she had cried at some point – not that he blamed her for that. She crossed the room slowly, as though unsure of how welcome she was, before pausing in front of him with a small sigh.

"Two of my best friends have tried to kill themselves in less than a year, Gary," she said softly.

Not knowing what exactly to say, Gary simply held his hand out to her in a silent offer. She stepped forward and took his hand sadly, blinking back tears as he used that hand to pull her into a close hug. "I'm sorry," he whispered. At that point, it didn't seem as if there was anything else he could say.

"We should be the sorry ones," Kate murmured.

Gary pulled away enough to look into her eyes questioningly. "What are you talking about?" he asked worriedly.

"May, Michelle, Bella… and me – " she was cut off when Gary pulled away suddenly.

"Don't think like that!"

Kate's eyes widened slightly in surprise by the sharp command. "Gary?"

"Don't ever think like that, Kate!" His voice had softened slightly at her startled expression but there was a fierceness in his eyes that remained and it unnerved Kate slightly. She had only ever seen that particular look in Gary's eyes when he had been a young trainer and had come to accept the fact that she would most likely never see it again. Seeing it now only shocked and confused her. "None of you had anything to do with this – especially not you!"

"Gary, we didn't do anything to stop it – that's as bad as helping with a suicide attempt!"

Gary shook his head and stood up to cross the room. "Christ, Kate, how blind are you?" he hissed softly after there was some distance between them. "There's not a lot you can do when someone wants to die –"

"Listen to yourself for a minute," Kate interrupted. "You don't actually believe that, do you, Gary?" He turned away from her to gaze out the window, trying to calm down a bit. His lack of response worried Kate and she could feel her eyes prickle slightly. "Please, Gary… Tell me you're not actually that cynical."

"You've known me since I was three, Kate. You should know by now whether or not I'm cynical."

"God, Gary! I came in here because we were both good friends with Rachael – I thought you would be able to understand me feeling horrible about this whole thing. Why are you turning it into an argument?"

Realizing how close they had come to having a full-out argument, Gary sighed and closed his eyes for a second. As he opened them and turned away from the window, he could see tears running down Kate's cheeks and he mentally kicked himself, knowing that he had only worsened the situation for her. The realization hurt and he couldn't help but feel terrible, as though he had added insult to injury. He slowly sank down onto the piano bench near the window and put his face in his hands as he tried to make some sense out of the situation.

"You probably think that you're the only one that this hits close to home for, but that's not true. You might be the only one who has ever tried killing themselves but you're not the only one this affects. You're not the only one who has ever wanted to die." Kate pressed on, her voice cracking slightly as she turned on her heel and left the room, leaving Gary alone once more.

Sighing again, Gary shook his head. He knew picking arguments with friends in this situation was a bad idea but, somehow, it seemed like it helped him distance himself from the dull ache in his arms and the sick feeling in his stomach. At least until now. Now that he was by himself, he couldn't get his mind off of those things; now, though, there was another thing weighing on his mind as Kate's words sunk in. As her final words circulated his head, he stood quickly and hurried out of the room and followed the sound of the footsteps on the stairs to catch up with her in the hallway on the lower floor.

"Kate, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked, his tone far more gentle than the words.

She turned and met his eyes calmly. "Everyone goes through rough times, Gary, it's only a matter of time before that thought comes to mind. Just because you've thought of it or you've tried it doesn't make you special. Trying it might help you understand other people a bit better but it doesn't give you the right to be an ass to everyone around you when something happens."

Gary raised his eyebrows slightly at her curse but nodded. "I'm sorry," he said simply and honestly. He groaned softly as he ran a hand though his hair. "It's just that this is kind of hard to deal with right now… It seemed like everything was finally going right but then this happens and everything gets screwed up –"

"Apparently you're not the only screwed up one in Pallet, Gary. We've all known for a long time that it was only a matter of time before Rachael had some sort of breakdown – between being repeatedly raped by her cousin, having her father kill herself, and then her relationship with Anna, it's pretty inevitable. Bad things from childhood can screw you up, you should know that." Though her voice was small and almost timid, the words struck Gary as though she had shouted them and again he felt guilty though he now realized that he wasn't Rachael's only friend who'd had a reason to worry about her.

"A breakdown and a suicide attempt are two very different things."

Kate gave a small, sad nod and began walking in the direction of the sitting room. "Maybe, but they're pretty closely related. By the way, you might feel better if you talk to your grandfather." She gave him a final glance before stepping into the room where Shawn was laying on the floor reading.

Before Gary could respond, she had crossed the room to the blonde boy, kneeled down next to him, and kissed him on the cheek as he sat up and pulled her into a hug. Stunned by the unexpected display of affection, he gaped at the two before finally shaking his head and heading towards the stairs, wondering if there was any alcohol in the music room.

"First Andrew turns into a scorned ex-girlfriend, then Rach tries to kill herself, and now Kate and Shawn are kissing… What the hell else can go wrong today?" he muttered under his breath as he dug through the drawers of the large dresser in the music room for a bottle of anything that might be hiding in there. Finding nothing, he sighed and left the room, heading towards his own bedroom once more.

--- --- ---

The telephone was ringing, Gary realized vaguely as he opened his eyes a few hours later. Afternoon sunlight was pouring in through the windows while the guitar melody signaling the incoming call repeated itself again, the two things combining to worsen the headache that had developed as he slept away the afternoon. Finally pulling himself out of the sleepy stupor long enough to realize that he had to answer the cell phone, he dug the phone out of his pocket and answered it with an irritable greeting that clearly informed the caller that the interruption was not welcome.

"Hey there, Prince Charming. Did I interrupt you jerking off or something?"

Gary shook his head at Chelsea's greeting and rolled his eyes. "I'm not Andrew, Chels," he replied flatly, tiredly rolling over on to his stomach as he picked at the edge of the comforter beneath him.

"Oh yeah, that's right – your girlfriend's a sex addict, Andrew's isn't. Masturbation isn't exactly needed… Lucky bastard." Chelsea's tone was light and cheerful and Gary could hear Anna laugh over the radio in the background. The lightheartedness of their voices contrasted so starkly with the air in the house that he wanted to vomit.

"Yeah, Chelsea, real lucky…" he muttered under his breath.

The girl paused for a second before speaking again, a touch of confusion lacing her voice. "Is something going on that I should know about? You're being pretty pissy right now."

An irritable sigh escaped Gary as he shoved half of the pillows off of his bed in an angry swipe. "No, everything's _perfectly_ fine," he replied, his voice positively dripping sarcasm.

"Gary –"

"I'll see you when you get here, Chels," Gary cut her off, hanging up the phone and tossing it somewhere on top of the pile of pillows on the floor before she could speak again.

After seeing Kate and Shawn's exchange in the sitting room and searching the music room for any alcohol that may have been present, he had resorted to perhaps his most useful coping technique – slipping into a deep sleep for several hours. In the grand scheme of things, it was far safer than drinking or cutting himself. His arms were still free of fresh scars but he doubted that would still be the case if he had actually been able to find the bottle of vodka that he was certain was hidden somewhere in the music room.

A few moments passed in silence while he lay there fuming until the phone rang once more, the ringtone a thrashy guitar riff by a band that only one person in the house liked. Gary glanced at the phone, wondering whether it was actually Anna calling him or if Chelsea had simply borrowed her phone. Curiosity finally won as he finally stood with a low groan to retrieve his phone. Anna's voice spoke up the second he answered, barely giving him a chance to say anything.

"What's going on to be putting you in such a bad mood, babe?" she asked, her tone more confused than annoyed.

Gary closed his eyes for a brief moment, wondering how honest to be with her. He couldn't tell her the entire truth over the phone – the news was likely to upset her, despite her typical attitude toward her sister, and Gary wasn't willing to let her drive all the way home while being upset. At the same time, he couldn't lie to her and say that everything was just fine. She would be able to tell that it was a lie just from his voice and it would only anger her when it came time for him to tell her the truth. "I was sleeping," he admitted a minute later. "Chelsea woke me up when she called."

Anna seemed to hesitate before speaking up again. "What were you doing sleeping at four in the afternoon? You slept fine last night; how could that possibly make you so bitchy?"

A sigh escaped Gary as he paused before replying. "Andrew's been having issues today and I think Kate and Shawn are dating."

"And that depressed you enough to put you to sleep?" Anna asked suspiciously. "Gary, they've been dating for like a month – how did you not know?"

"I don't know… No one ever told me."

"Aw, poor babe," Anna teased lightly over the phone. "Sounds like you're having a rough day."

Gary flopped back against the pillows on his bed and closed his eyes, wishing he could just tell her what was bothering him. "I'm sure there are people having worse days than me, Anna."

She laughed softly and Gary couldn't help but smile at the sound. He had always loved Anna's laugh and there had been times when it was the only thing that could elicit even a small smile from him. At the moment, it was perhaps the best thing he could hope to hear. "Way to be optimistic, babe," she replied with a touch of sarcasm lacing her voice.

"More like realistic," Gary muttered.

A small sigh escaped Anna and Gary frowned, realizing that he was causing her more grief than she needed, especially considering the fact that she had no idea what was bothering her. "You've been so good these past few months," she began quietly after a moment. "What's causing you to be so pessimistic now?"

"Where are you guys?" Gary asked ignoring the question.

"We just left Cerulean so we should be home in about an hour," she replied easily, not bothering to press the issue over the phone. Whatever was bothering him, she figured, she could find out once she got back to the house, if the issue hadn't passed over by then.

"Alright, I'll see you then," Gary replied dully.

They said their goodbyes and hung up a moment later. As she snapped her cell phone shut, Anna glanced over at Chelsea, who was sitting in the passenger seat of the car, and frowned at the girl's confused look. "I see what you meant by him being pissy," she muttered with a shake of her head.

"You didn't get anywhere with him, did you?" Chelsea asked, settling back against the seat and squealing loudly as it emitted a loud creak and leaned back far enough for her to nearly fall out of the seat. Anna snickered as she flailed for a moment until the seat was back in its original position.

"No, I don't know what's up with him… It's odd though; first Mom disappears off the face of the planet, then Gary goes all moody and secretive."

Chelsea nodded slightly, understanding where the older girl was coming from. Gary hadn't been particularly moody at all in recent months – except during his fight with Anna – and he seemed like a different person from the student Chelsea had been roommates with until the beginning of August. Back then he had been so irritable and depressed that she could hardly stand being in the same room as him, but now she found herself being much better friends with him than ever before. He was tired and a bit grouchy at the worst of times and playful at the best of times. Chelsea had always been good friends with him ever since they had first met but now she felt as though the relationship had grown so much since he had moved back to Pallet.

To hear the curt edge to his voice return over the phone worried her. The way he had hung up on her had frustrated her but it was Anna's tone as she spoke that struck her the strongest. She could relate – it was similar to the tone she had heard Andrew use so many times whenever Gary had left a room in a foul mood. The concern was apparent but was half-heartedly covered by feigned humor, as though it was an attempt at a joke that everyone knew was non-existent.

"Do you think something happened?" she asked softly as heart rate slowly returned to normal after the shock of her seat nearly toppling backwards so suddenly.

Anna shook her head again. "I don't know… Mom could have lost her cell phone or something, and she might have dragged my sister out of the house for awhile earlier when I called. Gary might just be pissed at Kate and Shawn since he just now found out about them."

"Could've gotten in a fight with Andrew, too," Chelsea pointed out.

"That too," Anna concurred, inclining her head slightly in acknowledgement of her point. "You know what? Let's just pretend this last half hour hasn't happened – Gary isn't being a little bitch and we're not worried about anything. I passed the fucking GED and I've got my car –"

"Which desperately needs some new interior," Chelsea added as she picked at a hole in the cracked leather covering her creaky seat.

The other girl laughed and gestured at the damaged dashboard. "You think? It might run since Darren put in the new engine and fixed the brakes –"

"And straightened the frame, and put in the new transmission –"

"And fixed the suspension, etcetera, etcetera – I get it," Anna replied with a laugh. "But it sure as hell isn't fit for driving yet."

"It doesn't even have a radio!" Chelsea complained loudly, cursing as her seat began to lean backwards again. "This is going to be a long drive."

"I could always start singing Metallica."

"Yeah, I'm sure your boyfriend would approve of that one." Chelsea sighed softly when Anna's smile disappeared after her teasing statement, realizing that she had just reminded the girl of the thing she was trying to forget at the moment. "Sorry," she muttered under her breath.

The car was silent for a few minutes, except for the creaking of the seats as they moved a bit restlessly in the absence of any music. Finally, as they were passing the exit for Pewter City, Anna rested her head against the back of her seat and closed her eyes for a few seconds before opening them and focusing intently on the road ahead of them.

"It's just that he's been so different lately," she said quietly. "He's grown up so much and he's really turned into a man that I would marry in a heartbeat… To see him go backwards with no apparent reason…"

"It's frustrating," Chelsea finished for her as her voice trailed off.

Anna nodded and remained quiet for a few minutes before speaking again. "Let's just pretend that everything's fine. It's probably nothing major; we'll get home and Gary will be back to normal and everything will be fine. Let's just leave it at that." She hoped ardently that everything truly was fine and that she wasn't deluding herself into a false sense of security. She had managed to do that back in August and September after Gary had moved back home, only to be shaken when he cut himself deep enough to require stitches and then again when he admitted to her that he had tried to kill himself.

She swore back in October, before she had even asked Gary to be her boyfriend, that she would never lure herself into that sense of security but she worried now that this was exactly what she was doing at the moment. Still, worrying the whole way home would do nothing to help, especially if it ended up that Gary had only managed to work himself up over the news of Kate and Shawn. If something was wrong, she could deal with it when someone told her. Until then, she would drive as though everything was okay.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Wow, I've had a few new reviewers in my absence! Thanks to Kasandra, bridget, b m r, and spongecassidy101 for the reviews! Sorry if I've missed anyone, it's been awhile since I've completed a chapter.

As always, please review and give me some constructive criticism or ideas or whatever strikes your fancy. : ) Hopefully this update doesn't disappoint too much, it was quite hard to write! My semester ends quite soon, so hopefully my next update will only take a week or two. I may even be able to get up chapter 68 by Thanksgiving!


	67. Chapter 67: Arrival Part 1

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 67: Arrival Part 1

The bedroom door opened slowly just as Gary was tossing the phone to the floor while settling back against the pillows that remained on the bed. He glanced up, surprised by the movement that he caught out of the corner of his eye as Tracey peeked in and gave him an apologetic smile.

"I thought you would still be asleep. Andrew came in earlier to check on you and you were out, he seemed a bit annoyed by it," he explained as he closed the door behind him and slowly approached the large bed.

"Andrew hates it when other people sleep; he thinks everyone should be on a perpetual caffeine high like him. Chris and Damien keep telling him that you actually _need_ sleep to live but I don't think he's gotten it through his head yet."

Tracey laughed softly and nodded his head. "It definitely seems that way sometimes. Especially lately –"

"School's getting to him. He needs the actual class times to stay disciplined enough to get his work done, he's not the type of person to do online classes."

"Which is why he's so stressed lately," Tracey agreed, sitting down on the edge of the bed and carefully meeting Gary's eyes. He noticed that the younger boy seemed happy to have something to distract him from the earlier events. If making small talk had that effect on him then Tracey was happy to help.

Gary nodded with a short laugh that didn't seem to hold much mirth at all. "I'm glad I'm not the only one to notice it. I think it's just the lack of sex that's getting to him lately – that's always been his coping technique and now he can't get any when he's surrounded by three people that he's always been able to get it from in the past."

"He's still confused about his sexuality, too. That doesn't help very much… One day he's gay, the next he's bi, the next he has no preference – It drives me nuts sometimes."

A true laugh escaped Gary at that bit and he shook his head slightly. "He'll eventually get it through his head that he likes both but prefers guys. He'll annoy the living hell out of all of us until then but he'll eventually figure it out… That's probably how just about everyone felt about me and Anna: 'they'll eventually figure out that they want to date each other.' We must've driven everyone nuts." He sighed suddenly after speaking and shook his head again as his thoughts went back to Rachael. "I shouldn't have even thought about that," he muttered, turning his attention to the blanket that was on the bed.

Tracey went quiet for a moment, not knowing what to say. "I know I lived here for a few years before you came back home," he finally began, waiting until Gary glanced back up at him before he continued. "But I never really got to know Rachael. She was always so distant and kind of stuck up…"

"She's always been reserved," Gary agreed quietly. "And she's prissy, but she has a good sense of humor… I don't know how any of us ever let it get this far. We really should have seen this coming."

"Why?" Tracey asked with a touch of confusion lacing his voice. "Because Anna used to cut herself and had to be on antidepressants? Just because one sibling does something doesn't mean that the other is going to do the same thing."

Gary shook his head again. "It's not because Anna did that, it's _why_, Tracey. It's more complicated than you realize."

Tracey cocked his head to the side and peered at Gary curiously, wondering what he meant. "I know there has to be a reason behind it, Gary, and I know people don't just try to kill themselves for no reason; but is it really that similar for both Anna and Rachael?"

Hesitating before responding, Gary gazed across the room towards the window, knowing that this conversation could easily result in him breaking an old vow to both his girlfriend and one of his best friends from childhood. Of course, the other girls in the group knew about the same things he did and would talk fairly freely about the subject but Gary had promised to stay quiet no matter what. This was one promise he was determined to keep, even if it was eating away at him.

Finally he looked back at Tracey and ran a hand through his hair in slight frustration. "You do realize that I'm not supposed to tell anyone, right?"

"I figured," Tracey replied truthfully. "But isn't a suicide attempt a cry for help?"

Gary nodded slowly. "It is," he agreed.

"Then don't you think that's what Rachael was doing?"

"Trace, Rachael lost her two best friends and three of her really close friends, ruined her relationship with her sister, and lost her mother's trust all in one blow. I think it all finally got to her recently. That's why she's been losing weight, that's why she's been so weird whenever I've talked to her, that's why she did it."

"I thought you just said that she did it for the same reason that Anna used to cut herself?"

Gary groaned and closed his eyes for a second. Why he had bothered to mention Anna or her sister was beyond him and he regretted doing it now. "There's more than one thing going on there, Trace," he pointed out.

"I would imagine so," Tracey agreed, nodding his head slightly. "And I understand that you promised not to tell anyone, but if it's bothering you this much, maybe you should talk to someone who isn't so involved with everything."

"In other words, you want me to talk to you about this," Gary cut in with a small smile, as though he sensed where Tracey was going with this.

"Not necessarily me," Tracey replied slowly, after pausing for a moment. He hadn't expected Gary to come up with that, though in a sense, he was a bit happy that he had come to that conclusion on his own. "But you know that I'm not going to make judgments or go telling anyone what you tell me."

Gary frowned at him, hesitating before saying anything in response. A huge part of him did want to tell Tracey; he knew it would likely be a relief to say it – keeping secrets was a trying task, even when he had perfected that task over the course of many years. Of course, another part of him didn't want to betray Rachael even more than he had managed to in letting their friendship fall away like it had since he had moved back home.

"You know, less than a year ago I would have told you to fuck off if you said something like that," he finally replied, giving his friend a small, amused smile.

"And even today you'll dance around subjects that you want to avoid," Tracey replied flatly. He was well aware of how far Gary had come in a short amount of time but he still found his stubborn, closed-off nature to be tiresome and irritating. Gary simply shrugged; it was a careless movement but something in his eyes prompted Tracey to push on. "This really took you by surprise, didn't it?" he asked softly. "No one really expects to find out that someone close to them tried to –"

"Why are you being so persistent?"

"Because," he began exasperatedly. "I can see it's bothering you and I know you would feel better if you just said it."

The glare Gary sent his way made Tracey certain that he was either going to ignore him or leave the room entirely. That was why he was surprised when Gary suddenly hung his head with a defeated sigh. He was surprised for a moment longer when Gary looked back up with a mixture of emotions in his eyes – Tracey could clearly see pain and frustration in the blue depths. Slowly, the emotions faded as Gary pulled the walls around himself and Tracey found it rather unnerving to see how expressionless he suddenly became once they were fully erected. Part of him wanted to point this out to Gary but he chose to keep his mouth shut instead, figuring that vocalizing this would cause Gary to change his mind and say nothing.

"You actually want to know why this bothers me?" Gary finally asked quietly.

"Yeah, I do."

"You're not going to like hearing it… Especially since you've told me before that you have a little sister."

"I'm already starting to guess where this is going, Gary," Tracey replied softly. "Just tell me."

"When I was younger, a little while after my parents died, one of Anna's cousins moved to Pallet for awhile… I don't remember why but he ended up staying with her and Rachael and their parents for a year. Anyway, long story short, he raped Rachael over and over and no one found out until he got Anna a few months later."

Tracey grimaced at his words, not entirely surprised that this was the case but still shocked. No one deserved that sort of thing in his eyes, much less children like the two girls had been at the time it had happened. "Anna told?" he asked in the same soft voice he had used only a moment earlier.

Gary nodded slightly. "Of course," he replied. "She won't let you get away with doing her wrong, especially not with something that big." He sighed for what Tracey assumed to be the twenty-eighth time during their conversation and shook his head. "She and Rachael were best friends back then so Rach was the first person she told and that was the first time Rachael told anyone but they kept it a secret for awhile longer until it happened to Anna a few more times. I think they told Michelle and she told Nicole about it."

"What did Nicole do?"

A strange smirk formed on Gary's face for a second before fading but it stayed long enough to unnerve Tracey a bit. "From what I hear, she beat the shit out of the little bastard, turned him in to the police, and threatened to kill him if he ever came back to Pallet. I don't really know what happened to him though… No one really talks about it."

"What about their father? Was he around back then?"

"He was," Gary confirmed with a small nod. "I think Nicole took care of it before he could do anything. They weren't getting along and were fighting a lot… which is probably why neither of the girls told them what was going on. I think it really killed him knowing what happened and that he hadn't done anything to stop it. He apparently got really bad after that – that was around when my parents died so I don't know everything that happened then. He got abusive and Nicole divorced him and then he only got to see them on supervised visits… And then he killed himself."

Tracey gave a low whistle and leaned against one of the posts of the bed. "That explains a lot," he muttered, thinking of the ways he had seen both girls act in the time he had lived in Pallet. They seemed to show the opposite reactions to the things in their life, though at the same time, very similar reactions. Anna had been, quite obviously, very harmful in her responses through cutting, drinking, and promiscuity. She acted up and got into trouble but, in the end, everything came out one way or another – pain, frustration, confusion…

Rachael, on the other hand, had responses that had been just as harmful, if not more so. She had somehow suppressed it and now Tracey could see why she was often distant and aloof. At the same time, he could see why they were both good friends with Gary. It seemed to make sense in the fact that they had all suffered the worst aspects of life during childhood and had dealt with the consequences far more than anyone should have needed to. It was obvious now that the girls had sensed a similar anguish within Gary as in themselves, while he had likely done the same, whether they had realized this during childhood or not.

Remembering that Rachael was a musician, Tracey realized that the three of them also shared a common love and that they had likely used that as a sort of pain relief. May had told him before that Gary had begun playing piano years before their parents had died just because he wanted to while picking up cello at an older age because he missed his father, who had played the instrument since his teenage years. She suspected that he had decided to play guitar mostly because Anna played and that the same was true with bass. Tracey couldn't speak for either Anna or Rachael, but he wondered if they began playing their instruments at a similar age to escape their traumatic childhood.

As he thought over this, Gary could see the change in Tracey's facial expression and eyed him suspiciously. "What are you thinking?" he asked cautiously, feeling a bit confused and annoyed when Tracey laughed softly.

"Paranoid?" Tracey teased gently, hoping to lighten the mood a bit. Gary scowled in response and crossed his arms over his chest. "I just thought of how you three all play instruments… I was wondering if Anna and Rachael started playing to kind of escape all of that," he explained.

Gary's scowl faded and he appeared to think over Tracey's words for a moment before replying. "I'm certain Rachael did when all hell started to break loose with her father – she was pretty close to him and everything with him really bothered her. I hardly saw any of the girls around then but even I could tell it bothered her. Nicole taught them both piano when they were young but they weren't serious with it; Rachael got more serious with it when they got divorced and then switched over to violin after her dad killed himself. Anna… I'm not sure about. She started playing guitar around the time I left for Johto and started cutting herself after her father died."

"How old was she then?"

"I was nine so she was either ten or eleven but I'm leaning towards eleven."

Tracey couldn't help the shocked look that passed over his face at that particular revelation. He had already known that she couldn't have been very old when she had started that particular habit but hearing it seemed to throw it into sharp relief. "That's so young –"

"I was only twelve when I started," Gary pointed out.

"I know, but seriously, that's _really_ young, Gary."

Gary simply shrugged. "What can I say? Hell is for children – look at Andrew and Nik. They've been through a lot too; Nik's bipolar and has anxiety issues, and Andrew's been through hell and back again. It's amazing that Abby is as sane as she is but I'm pretty sure that she at least has some depression issues because of it. And that's not even getting into my other friends either! Damien's mother was a drug addict and an alcoholic and he never even knew his father – Monica's his adopted mother and she and Alex took him in. Charlotte's mother was abusive and kicked her out of the house when she found out that she was bisexual, Jon's father was abusive too and he got kicked out of the house – they're both Damien's cousins by the way. Logan's mother tried killing herself in front of him; he lived next door to Alex and Monica with his grandfather until he moved in with Nik, Ben, and David when Andrew and everyone moved here –"

"Gary, this is depressing," Tracey interrupted, feeling too weary to bear hearing Gary mention any more horrors. Gary shrugged again but didn't say anything else as he didn't feel particularly fond of talking about depressing matters at the moment. A short silence fell between them until Tracey broke it suddenly. "I forgot – May called a few minutes before I came up here. She and Bella had just passed Viridian City and were probably going to be home soon."

Gary closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. He realized that he desperately wanted to see his sister now but dreaded her return to the house. The last thing he wanted to do was inform her of what had happened; he knew that she would immediately know that something was wrong, she always seemed to sense when something was bothering him. Noticing the obvious weariness, Tracey smiled sympathetically.

"I can tell them if you want," he offered softly, surprised when Gary shook his head again.

"No. I'll tell May when they get back, she'll want to talk to me when she finds out anyway." He gave a weary sigh and ran a hand through his hair, wincing as his fingers caught the messy tangles that had formed while he slept. "I need to take a shower; tell her that I need to talk to her whenever she gets here."

Tracey agreed and left the room a moment later while Gary stood from the bed and stretched tiredly. His muscles felt tense and sore, partially from sitting in one position for so long as he talked to Tracey, partially because he knew he had been tense since talking to Nicole over the phone. He made his way to the bathroom and showered quickly, forcing himself not to spend too much time under the relaxing spray of warm water. It seemed to take every ounce of willpower to step out of the shower and dress once more as it almost felt as though the water was washing away all of the troubles on his mind; of course, Gary knew that staying in the shower all evening would do nothing to change the situation. All he could hope for was that everything would work out okay in the end.

Perhaps this was an opportunity, he thought as he tugged on his sweatshirt. Maybe now, Rachael and Anna could get along and move past the problems between them; this was assuming Anna would be concerned when she heard the news. As soon as that concern crossed his mind, Gary felt awful - Anna was not insensitive, there was no way she wouldn't be concerned over this. How he could even think otherwise was beyond him.

Gazing into the mirror of the bathroom, Gary could see a glimpse of his former self – the tortured teenager that he had tried desperately to leave behind in the past months. He had paled upon hearing about Rachael and had yet to recover his color, his eyes seemed haunted and sad. There was a desperation in the depths of his eyes that he was all too familiar with and he hated himself for it – couldn't he just get over wanting to put a blade to his flesh? He hung his head and felt his desperation grow stronger. The numbness that had swept over him earlier was entirely gone now and he was acutely aware of the affect this had on him.

He could understand what he had put his friends through now, at least to an extent, and he could feel his resolve starting to crack as he worried about his old friend. How did she do it, he wanted to know. Almost immediately, he regretted that thought – it reminded him far too much of his own attempt. Forcing those thoughts away, Gary dimly noticed that his arms were starting to ache the way they always did when he was longing to cut himself. Finally, he forced himself out of the bathroom, unable to bear the sight of his miserable reflection any longer. Knowing that May would be back within a few moments made his heart beat a bit faster as he was filled with a sense of dread and a longing to simply escape.

Gary left his bedroom and started towards the stairs before changing his mind and walking past them towards the music room. He could hear Chris playing his drum set in there before he even reached the room but ignored this as he entered it and headed directly to the stereo, which he turned on and turned up the volume without caring what cd was in the player. To his surprise it was one of Andrew's Arch Enemy albums, something that he was grateful for – the fast guitar and angry-sounding vocals were the very thing he needed to get out the frustration that had been slowly building in him. Chris looked up in surprise when Gary entered the room and raised his eyebrows at the younger boy when the stereo suddenly came on but Gary ignored him as he skipped to the last track on the album. He knew it was an aggressive song, one of his favorite ones.

Chris gave a small, understanding smile when he recognized the song and turned up the volume on the amplifier his electric drum kit was hooked up to as he began playing while Gary stalked across the room to pick out one of his guitars. By now Andrew had informed him of what was going on and, knowing Gary, he instinctively knew that simply playing would help out in this situation.

Within the first few seconds of playing, Gary could feel his demeanor changing; the depressed feeling was leaving him, being replaced by an aggression that was intensified by the music. His fingers flew across the frets, tapping out the complex melody that he knew he was messing up, yet it didn't matter – just doing it calmed him and made him feel better. This was one of the reasons why he liked the heavy music: the aggressive nature of it tended to force him out of depression and that was what it was doing right then. He was surprised when another guitar suddenly sounded in the room and turned to find Andrew playing along.

Andrew simply smiled and shrugged as if to say, 'I couldn't resist.'

By the time the song ended, Gary was panting slightly from the amount of energy he had just spent but felt as though his head was more clear. Once the song was over, the stereo turned off automatically and drowned the room in a sudden silence that was broken only by the slight buzzing coming from the three amplifiers that were currently turned on. Chris made the first move, putting up his drum sticks and turning off his amp while Andrew met Gary's eyes, silently asking how he was taking the day's turn of events.

"That was fun," Chris said cheerfully, in an attempt to break the silence on a lighter note than asking Gary how he was holding up. He suspected that the boy had wanted to cut himself and he even wondered if Gary had done so as he was still pale and was once more wearing long sleeves.

Gary continued to ignore him, though it wasn't to be rude or spiteful – it was as though he hadn't heard Chris speak in the first place. It was almost as if there was a bit of a filter around him that only let him hear music at the moment. It was at that precise moment that the door opened to reveal Tracey, May, and Bella in the hallway. May appeared confused until she looked at her brother and saw how pale he was, along with the fact that he was wearing his Iron Maiden hoodie again.

Without hesitation, she immediately asked what happened. Andrew and Tracey exchanged uneasy glances, both wondering how well May was going to take the news and whether or not Gary would even be able to tell her. A quick glance from Gary encourage Andrew to switch off his amp and put away his guitar before leaving the room, gesturing for Chris to join him so that they could give the two siblings privacy for their conversation. Tracey closed the door behind the two other boys as Andrew took his hand a bit hesitantly and as Chris gently led Bella down the hall, presumably to tell her the same thing that Gary was about to tell May.

Purposely stalling for a bit more time, Gary turned off the amplifier her had been using and hung the guitar back up on the hook on the wall, taking another moment to carefully wind up the cable before putting it away. The whole time he did this, May watched silently, knowing that whatever had happened, it couldn't be good. Finally, Gary sank onto one of the couches in the room and took a deep breath as he watched his sister approach him.

"Please don't tell me that you cut yourself, Gary," she said softly, breaking the somber silence between them.

"I didn't," he replied with a shake of the head. He could see a touch of doubt in her eyes and immediately rolled up his sleeves to show her that there were no new injuries to his forearms.

"What happened?" May asked quietly, sitting next to him with a slight sense of fear taking over her.

Knowing that it would be best to just say it and get it over with, Gary raised his eyes to meet her gaze. "I talked to Nicole earlier," he began softly, his voice sounding weaker than he would have liked.

Realization dawn on May quickly. She sighed and closed her eyes, already knowing where this was going. "Oh no," she whispered, opening her eyes so that Gary could see the tears forming there.

"May…"

"Please, no; Gary, please don't tell me that Rachael…" her voice trailed off as a tear fell and rolled down her cheek.

He nodded his head, feeling incredibly regretful as he watched more tears fall down his sister's cheeks. "She tried to. She's in the hospital at Viridian; I don't know all the details…" Gary turned away from her, blinking back his own tears as it suddenly hit him harder than ever before. He waited a moment before turning back to May to continue in a shaky voice. "She's alright –"

"How can you say that?" May suddenly exclaimed tearfully. "She just tried to kill herself and you say she's okay? Gary, what the hell are you thinking?"

"May, please don't do this – it's hard enough dealing with the fact that it happened, much less telling you!" He leaned forward suddenly and rested his elbows on his knees, putting his face in his hands while May continued to cry quietly next to him.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them, May crying while Gary tried to stay calm in spite of the emotion he could feel rising in him. He knew he was going to have to face this soon but right now he needed to stay strong for his sister, especially since Anna would be back shortly and he would have to tell her the same thing. Gary raised his head after a few minutes and wrapped his arms around May, pulling her closer to him as a soft sob escaped her.

"It's going to be okay," he murmured softly, trying to convince himself as much as May.

"You don't get it," May sobbed suddenly, burying her face in his shoulder. "Two people in less than one year, Gary! Think of how it is for us – we've been here the whole time you've been in Sinnoh and we've already had to deal with you doing this!" Gary tightened his grip on her slightly and sighed softly.

"I know, May," he replied. "But there's not really anything I can do about this."

The door opened noisily as he spoke and they both looked up to see Michelle slowly enter the room with a sober expression on her face. "Tracey just told me," she explained quietly, her voice sounding far more distant than normal. Bella appeared behind her and sat on May's other side, reaching for one of her hands and quickly pulling her friend into a hug. "Anna's going to be here in a few minutes," Michelle added with a touch of worry in her voice as she met Gary's eyes.

Gary groaned and slumped against the back of the couch while the other two girls in the room quietly comforted each other. Realizing that there was nothing more he could do for either of them, he stood after a moment and crossed the room to the door, stepping into the hallway with Michelle where they walked in silence towards the stairs. He noticed quite easily that Michelle seemed to be in shock as she didn't speak and barely even looked at him until they reached the stairwell.

She stopped at the top of the stairs and suddenly slipped her hand into Gary's. "I'm sorry," she said softly, gazing up at him with an odd understanding in her eyes that he hadn't gotten from either May or Kate.

"Why?"

"Because," she began with a deep breath. "I know this is the second one that we have to deal with, but it's different for you – you've been on the other side of this and, on top of that, you have to tell May and Anna. I don't want to be in your place, but out of all of us, you're the one that can handle it… I don't think you realize how much I respect you for that."

Unsure of what to say, Gary gazed down at her for a moment with an unreadable expression on his face before squeezing her hand gently. He had always been good friends with Michelle but they had never been particularly close; her words struck deeply and he found them to be touching. If anything good came out of this day, it would be a heightened sense of friendship between the two of them.

"Thanks," he finally replied.

"You want me to be with you when you tell her?" Gary nodded despite himself but found himself incredibly grateful as Michelle gave him a small smile. "Then let's get downstairs and wait for her – she'll be here any minute."

"Looking forward to it," Gary muttered as they headed down the stairs. Basing judgment on May's reaction, he doubted this was going to end well, even with Michelle by his side. He just hoped that things would go alright. In the end, that was all he could really do and he knew that all too well.

--- --- ---

Part of Gary was sorely tempted to laugh when Anna and Chelsea pulled up in Anna's Firebird. The car looked pitiful compared to even Andrew's beat up Nova – the paint was faded and coming off in some places, he could see where work had been done on the body of the car, and different parts were different colors. It sounded nice when it pulled up, but that was about all he could say about it. Michelle broke the silence on the front porch with a small laugh.

"Looks like shit, doesn't it?"

At that, Gary laughed and shook his head. "She was so excited about it too… I wonder if she still is."

"Oh, she is, don't worry about that. Worry about everything else."

"Thanks, Michelle. I needed that," he muttered sarcastically as Anna and Chelsea climbed out of the car and approached the porch.

"Just reminding you of your priorities."

Gary shot her a small glare but it was only halfhearted; Anna looked tense, though she was hiding it beneath a smile, and this bothered him. His attitude over the phone had obviously affected her but she was trying to cover it up, this he could easily tell as her smile didn't reach her eyes. "Hey, Anna," he greeted quietly, watching warily as Anna climbed the porch steps.

She replied with a simple, flat greeting and a confused glance over Michelle. "Feeling better?"

He shrugged his shoulders slightly, unsure of what to say. "Depends how you look at it," he replied after a moment of thought.

Anna appeared baffled for a minute, narrowing her eyes as she tried to discern the meaning behind the cryptic response. "What's that supposed to mean? And why are you wearing your sweatshirt – it's not even cold."

Gary gave a small sigh and shook his head helplessly. Leaning his head back to peer up at the cloudy sky, he decided to just stick with the truth, even if it was a bit blunt and brutal. "It means that I feel like shit and want to do nothing more than take out half a bottle of vodka and cut myself." Michelle looked up at him with a shocked expression, unable to believe that those words had just come out of his mouth.

She had known about the cutting for over a year before Gary had even moved home, having caught a few glimpses of the scars the few times they'd had sex on his visits home, but never having said anything about them. She had always known about the drinking, considering she had gotten drunk with him and Anna on several occasions as well, but she had never expected to hear Gary say anything quite like that. Being honest was expected, especially for Gary, but to be this brutally honest was quite surprising. Anna and Chelsea were obviously as surprised as Michelle, given the glances that they exchanged before Anna spoke up again.

"Gary, what happened while we were gone?" she asked bluntly, cutting to the chase as she gave Gary a look that told him quite clearly to be perfectly honest with her.

He glanced at Michelle, hoping for some form of support or encouragement. "Maybe you two should go inside," he muttered when he received none from her. Michelle nodded in understanding and headed inside, hesitating in the doorway while Chelsea looked at Gary skeptically. An almost-pleading glance from Gary was what finally forced her to follow the other girl into the house and close the door behind them, giving the couple some privacy on the porch. Looking back at Anna, he forced himself to stay calm and collected - a difficult task with the look she was sending his way. "I talked to your mom earlier," he said quietly, sitting down on the steps as he did so.

"Nice of her to call me back," Anna huffed, crossing her arms over her chest as she plopped down next to him.

"Anna… She's been at the hospital since last night."

At Gary's words, she frowned and glanced back at him, her irritation fading a bit. "Is she alright?"

"Not your mom, Ann."

"But you just said that –"

"I said 'at,' not in."

"What are you talking about?" Anna asked exasperatedly.

Gary sighed and shook his head irritably. "It's Rachael," he said simply.

It was Anna's turn to shake her head. "Oh, come on, Gary. We've been over the whole Rachael thing already."

"After I got home from the hospital, you said that you could see why I was worried –"

"Gary. No. Just, no," Anna replied, shaking her head in disbelief. Gary sighed again and looked at her desperately; she kept the skeptical expression on her face, even as he explained Nicole's earlier phone call to her.

She continued to shake her head even when Gary had finished speaking, causing him to groan loudly and grasp her shoulders, trying hard to resist the urge to shake her. "Would I lie to you about this?" he demanded in frustration. This seemed to bring Anna back to herself a bit and she muttered something about him never lying to her. Suddenly, she stood up and began heading towards her car, pulling her keys out of her pocket as Gary stood and quickly followed her. "Where are you going?" he asked, reaching over to pull the keys out of her hand.

"My house," she replied flatly, unlocking the driver's side door and climbing in before Gary could get the keys from her.

"Why?"

"Because," Anna said simply, giving no reason as she started up the car while Gary quickly climbed in.

"Anna, I don't think you should be driving –"

"Shut up," she cut him off, throwing the car into reverse and swiftly backing down the driveway.

Gary stared at her for a moment, unsure of why she was doing this and somewhat surprised by her reaction. "Okay then," he said softly, realizing that perhaps the best thing he could do at the moment was go along with whatever Anna was doing. He slipped his cell phone out of his pocket and sent Andrew a brief message telling him where they were going and that he didn't know when they would be back home. Less than a moment later, Andrew had responded with a message of his own saying that he was on his way over as well.

Andrew's reply came as Anna swerved the car into her driveway, parking it next to her mother's car and jumping out without bothering to take the keys out of the ignition. As she ran up to the porch, Gary sat stunned in his seat, thinking that he now understood how Ash and Kate felt in his car whenever he drove – it may have been awhile since Anna had last driven a car but she certainly seemed to remember how to drive fast. Or perhaps she had just gotten used to his driving… Finally recovering, Gary grabbed Anna's keys and staggered out of the low car to join her on the porch as she realized that she couldn't get in without her house key.

"This isn't a good idea, Anna," he stated firmly as he dropped the keys into her outstretched hand.

"Mom's car is here," she replied flatly, as though it explained everything. In reality, all it did was make Gary even more confused; it took him a short moment to realize that she was in denial about what he had told her on the porch back at his house.

"But she's not _here_, babe," he pointed out.

Anna ignored him and pulled the door open, entering the house and leaving the door open for Gary to obediently follow her. He stopped in the foyer and waited just inside the door as she walked deeper into the house, calling for her mother as she went. He wasn't sure if she genuinely believed her mother to be home or if it was just wishful thinking that was making her do this; either way, he had a distinct bad feeling about coming to the house. Something told him that they would find something that they didn't want to see - personally, he simply wanted to go to the hospital to see how Rachael and Nicole were doing.

Lost in his own thoughts, and not entirely wanting to be here, Gary barely heard the Nova pull into the driveway and didn't notice as Andrew approached the porch and front door to the house. His sudden, quiet greeting cause Gary to jump and curse.

"Christ, Andrew… You scared the hell out of me," Gary muttered, dimly noticing Anna's momentary reappearance in the hallway as she ran up the stairs.

"That tends to happen when you're out of it," Andrew replied with a small shrug. "How's she taking it?"

"She in total denial about it; she thinks her mother is here because the car is here. I don't think she realizes that you can be in one place while your car is in another."

"Can you blame her for being in denial?" Andrew asked gently, giving Gary a significant look.

"Not really," Gary admitted. "It's just frustrating."Andrew nodded, understanding where he was coming from. "I don't have a good feeling about being here so soon…"

Andrew glanced at him, noticing the second floor had grown quiet rather suddenly. "Do you know how she did it?" Gary shook his head rapidly, a move the caused Andrew to reassuringly rest his hand on his shoulder. "Is it just me or is it really quiet in here?" he asked as the silence of the large house began to unnerve him.

Gary frowned and glanced around the hallway, his gaze falling upon the stairs rather quickly. Anna had been calling for her mother and sister while climbing the stairs and running around on the second floor but all was quiet now. He could easily see why Andrew appeared to be a bit unnerved. "It is pretty quiet," he agreed.

He and Andrew met each others' eyes for a moment before they both snapped out of their stupor and ran up the stairs. They paused at the top of the stairs, where the second floor hallway went in two separate directions and Gary gestured for Andrew to head towards the left end of the hallway, where he knew Nicole's office and the guest bedroom was. With a sinking feeling in his gut, he made his own way in the direction of the other bedrooms as he called for Anna. A quick glance in the empty master bedroom and Anna's deserted room led him to the one remaining room on this side of the second floor.

After hesitating outside Rachael's bedroom for a second, he headed in and walked towards the en suite bathroom after finding the bedroom empty and froze in the doorway as his breath caught in his throat. The bathroom was a mess: the mirror was broken, as was a set of glass jars that he remembered Rachael keeping toiletries in. Broken glass littered the floor, but what caused his stomach to churn was the floor itself. It was covered in a dark red substance that his brain refused to identify until his eyes came to the pink rug that was vividly stained with blood.

"Shit," he breathed, taking in the appearance of the room, hardly registering Anna's presence in his shock.

Anna was kneeling next to the destroyed bath rug, holding something long and metallic. As he slowly crossed the room to kneel next to her, Gary realized that she was holding a dagger with a dragon carved into the handle. With a sudden burst of fear, he noticed blood on the blade but relaxed slightly when he realized that it was dried – for a terrifying moment, he had thought that Anna had done something drastic that his mind couldn't even fully comprehend.

"I used to use this…" Anna whispered as she noticed Gary's presence, running her hand over the blade as she spoke. She swallowed thickly and Gary could see a slight longing in her eyes as she looked down at the weapon. "It went missing months ago; I thought I had just misplaced it," she added, peering over at Gary with a guilty glance. "She must have planned this… I looked all over for it in November. I should have thought –"

"You couldn't have, Anna," Gary cut her off gently, reaching over to take the blade from her. She recoiled slightly and held it a bit tighter, unwilling to give it up. "Anna," Gary began firmly. "I don't think either of us should be around sharp objects right now." He took her hands and carefully pried her fingers from the dagger, placing it on the counter several feet away before calling for Andrew, who appeared in the doorway a moment later.

He froze in the doorway, much the way Gary had, with wide eyes as he took in the scene; recovering quickly, he crossed the room and helped Gary pull Anna to her feet and lead her out of the room. Exchanging a glance with Gary, he could see that his friend was shaken and worried; not that this surprised him. Andrew had almost expected something like this, it was the reason he had responded so quickly to Gary's text informing him of where they were going. He had dropped everything – a conversation with Tracey while he worked on a report – to head over, certain that the outcome of coming over wouldn't be good. He could remember, quite vividly, what had happened during his own attempts; being found and then rushed to the hospital while whatever mess he had made stayed there to be found and cleaned at a later time. The bathroom in the house in Pastoria still had blood stains on the floor from the time he had slit his wrist in there, though they were covered with a large rug.

The two boys led Anna out of the room with no argument from the silent girl; not trusting her ability to use the stairs, Gary steered them towards the master bedroom down the hallway and sat Anna down on the large bed. Andrew stood near the door awkwardly, watching while Gary sat next to Anna and pulled her into his arms. She remained stoic, even when Andrew left the door to sit on her other side and seemed to not even notice as he took one of her hands, offering what little comfort he could while she was in her boyfriend's arms. None of them spoke for several moments until Gary broke the silence.

"I think she's in shock," he told Andrew quietly, his worry increasing when Anna gave no argumentative reply.

"I would be too," Andrew replied, trying to think of something to do to help the situation. "Her mother's still at the hospital, isn't she?" Gary nodded in response. "Do you think seeing her would help?"

"It might, but I don't know where Nicole would be in the hospital. She might have even left by now."

"Maybe you should call her and find out," Andrew suggested. Gary nodded again and kissed Anna on the cheek before standing and heading towards the hallway, leaving Anna to fold herself into Andrew's arms.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Notes::**

Another hard chapter to write... Gary's reactions were really hard to do, considering how much his character has changed in recent chapters. The first several attempts involved him going back to his old self but that completely undoes all of his progress and screws up my plans for upcoming chapters. Grr.

Please review, especially for this chapter! Thoughts in general are always welcome - please be honest!


	68. Chapter 68: Arrival Part 2

**Beyond The Walls**

Chapter 68: Arrival Part 2

The ride to Viridian was silent and uncomfortable with Andrew putting all of his focus on the road while Gary sat in the backseat with Anna huddled against him. Nicole had told Gary where in the hospital she was and had suggested bringing Anna over when he had told her where they were and what they had seen. Andrew had, thankfully, offered to drive the couple over to the hospital, realizing that Anna couldn't drive in the condition that she was in and also wanting to give his friends as much support as he could. Sure, he had a paper for school to finish, but that wasn't as important as this was. He had been quick to realize that he could never leave his friends to their own devices in a time like this.

Once more Andrew found himself hating the atmosphere of the hospital and he sensed that Gary felt similarly – his friend seemed tense, more so than he had been back at the house or in the car on the way over. They reached the room where Nicole had told Gary they could find her and Rachael and paused awkwardly outside of the door. Oddly enough, it was Anna who made the first move and entered the room while Gary stayed in his place, far too quiet for comfort.

"Are you okay?" Andrew asked softly.

Gary sighed heavily but nodded slightly. "All things considered, yeah, I'm alright," he muttered, causing Andrew to crack a small smile.

"Are you going to go in with her?"

"Not yet… She probably needs some space to deal with this. Anna's always been really independent…"

There was a slight intonation to his voice that worried Andrew slightly. "Are you sure you're alright?" he pressed, frowning when Gary sighed again.

"It's just… I keep thinking about July. It's been in my head ever since we left Anna's house."

Andrew wasn't particularly surprised by this and simply nodded in response before heading over to a nearby waiting area to sit down in a chair with Gary quickly following him. "I know how you feel," he finally said when Gary sat in the chair next to him. Silently, he gazed down at his arms, his eyes taking in the sight of the old scars lacing his flesh. He could remember his attempts as clear as day, the details horrifically vivid while any memories of simply cutting himself seemed to all run together.

Gary was silent for a long while, staring at the opposite wall without really seeing it, before he spoke up again. "It's such a stupid thing to do," he declared suddenly.

Andrew glanced at him in confusion, surprised by the sudden statement. "What is?"

"Killing yourself – or trying to, really… It's selfish," he explained quietly.

"I'm glad it only took you one suicide attempt to realize that; it took me three and then I had a near-breakdown. I don't even know how I managed to get my shit together in time to do the internship down in Hoenn," Andrew replied.

"Maybe that's what helped you," Gary suggested. Andrew merely shrugged in response. "Andrew...?" he tentatively asked after a few more minutes. Andrew glanced at him once more, fidgeting with the edge of his shirt out of mild boredom. "How did you feel when…?"

Turning in his seat to face his close friend, Andrew inwardly groaned; this was not a subject he particularly wanted to discuss. However, if it helped Gary in some way, then he was willing to talk. "When I did it or when you did it?" he asked.

"Me."

Andrew sighed and ran a hand through his hair, gathering the blond strands and running his other hand over them again and again in a way that was typical for him when he was nervous. "Probably the same way you feel right now," he admitted. "I was upset because you had done it but then I was also really pissed at you because you did it, 'cause like you said, it's fucking stupid… But I also felt guilty," his voice trailed off a bit after the last part.

"Guilty?" Gary echoed.

"Yeah. I guess you could say I felt like I knew you were going to do but didn't say anything, and then I'm the one who gave you alcohol that night too. I think that was the biggest thing that got me – I knew what alcohol does to someone when they're depressed and I still got you drunk and then I let you be by yourself… I felt like it was my fault –"

"It wasn't," Gary interrupted dully, earning a wry smile from the blond boy.

"I know," Andrew assured him. "After awhile, I realized that you probably would've done it once school started up, with the state you were in back then. And you're so stubborn that you probably wouldn't have let anyone help you if they talked to you about it too."

"If someone was direct enough, yeah, I probably would've listened."

Andrew rolled his eyes slightly. "Maybe," he replied dismissively. He sincerely doubted that Gary would have listened to anyone during the summer. "But what's passed is past. Nothing we can do about it."

Gary nodded and was about to respond when the door to the room opened and Nicole stepped out into the hall, gently closing the door behind her before making her way over to the two boys. She looked terrible, he was quick to notice; her clothes were rumpled and bore blood stains, her eyes were bloodshot and tired. Gary stood up as she approached and gave her hug, quickly introducing Andrew after he pulled away before inquiring about the two girls.

"Rachael's still sleeping," she explained quietly, sinking down into the seat Gary had vacated a moment prior. "Anna's pretty upset now so I thought I would give her some space; you know how she is. You can go in if you want…"

Gary's stomach flipped at the suggestion as he glanced at the door down the hall. He wasn't entirely sure he could force himself to enter that room just yet, no matter how much he wanted to comfort his girlfriend and see her sister. "I don't think I'm ready –"

"You're not going to be," Andrew interrupted. "Just like talking to Alex about… Well, you know."

"How did I know you were going to say that?" Gary muttered under his breath with a roll of the eyes.

Andrew groaned and shook his head. "Because, even though you're a stubborn pain in the ass, you have some amount of sense in your thick head," he replied, biting down the urge to snap at him. If Gary knew he was right then why did he have start with the attitude? It was a bad situation, he was well aware of this fact, but he wished Gary could avoid being so pessimistic.

Gary was about to reply when Nicole spoke up. "So you two dated for awhile in Sinnoh?" Both boys looked at her, Andrew looking a bit confused while Gary appeared to be almost annoyed by her bringing that up at a time like this. "What? I need to talk about something other than this," she said, gesturing around the room.

Seeing that there were no more open seats since Nicole took his, Gary sat on the floor in front of them. "We did," he agreed, almost grateful for the distraction. Nicole gestured for him to elaborate, not entirely knowing what to say, Gary simply shrugged with a glance at Andrew.

"What started it?"

Gary looked away from Andrew at Nicole's question and once more found himself unable to come up with an answer as he looked at the woman. "Nothing really _started_ it," Andrew spoke up with a small shrug. "It just kind of happened."

Nicole smiled almost wistfully at the response. "Interesting how that happens, isn't it? That's what happened with your parents," she added, meeting Gary's eyes.

"Really?"

She nodded, still smiling slightly. "That internship to get into school… That's how they met Alex too; the three of them worked with your grandfather and stayed in the house together. And, of course, I lived in Pallet at the time." She sighed softly, looking for a moment as though she were reliving old memories of her younger teenage years. "That was so long ago… Things were simple then."

Gary had been ready to ask more questions about when she had known his parents and Alex but fell silent at her soft tone. Something in the way she had murmured the last statement made him pause as realization struck him. She hadn't been ready for this incident either and she was the one who had found Rachael, spent the night in the hospital with her, and then passed the message on – who was he to sit out here with her and complain that he wasn't ready to see his old friend? It was nearly as selfish as the actual suicide act was in the first place. He stood up, muttering something about going to check on Anna and headed away from the waiting area to pause outside the door of the room before entering it.

The hospital room was unnervingly quiet; the only sound was the beeping of the heart monitor as Anna was sitting silently and Rachael was sound asleep. Gary's eyes immediately flicked over to where Anna was sitting, as though he were unconsciously avoiding looking at Rachael. Anna gave him a weak smile but it did anything but soothe him – he could tell that she had been crying a lot and it nearly broke his heart to see her look so upset despite the small smile.

"She's asleep," Anna said softly, her voice sounding rather weak from crying.

"She's going to be out for awhile, Anna."

"I know…"

Gary sighed quietly; she sounded so distant… "Are you okay?" Anna closed her eyes for a moment, fighting back tears as she shook her head, and Gary was at her side a moment later. "We're all upset, babe; it's alright –"

"No, it's not!" Anna exclaimed suddenly, taking Gary by surprise.

"We all just need some time to get over this; Rachael will be fine, Anna," he said comfortingly, gently taking one of her hands and pressing a kiss against it.

"That's not it," Anna sobbed, tears once more beginning to flow down her cheeks.

Reaching up to wipe the tears from her face, Gary frowned, trying to figure out what was bothering her if it wasn't that. "What is it, babe?" Anna avoided his eyes, looking thoroughly miserable. "Anna? Please tell me," he pressed when she didn't reply.

Finally, she looked up and met his eyes. "Gary, this is my fault…" her voice trailed off as he shook his head.

"Let's not do this, Anna; it wasn't anyone's fault –"

"I told her she was worthless!" She blurted out, referring to the exchange between herself and her sister after she had heard about Gary being in the hospital after being bit by the arbok in the lab.

Gary shook his head; part of him was annoyed that she had done something like that but another part wasn't the slightest bit surprised. "I doubt that made her do it," he replied reasonably, tightening his grip on her hand. "If she took that knife from you back in November, then she's been planning it all along – not to mention how depressed she's obviously been since then… You said back in December that she had lost a ton of weight –"

"And I made it worse by saying that to her! Is it really any coincidence that she did it two weeks after that happened?"

"Anna," Gary began firmly, not at all liking the way she was blaming herself for this. "Two weeks is a long time; it's not like she did it the next day after you said that to her." He shook his head distractedly, thinking of the last conversation he'd had with Rachael. She had worried him greatly then; that was when he had first begun fearing that something like this would happen. "Anna, she lost her _true_ friends all at the same time and then –"

"Gary, please stop talking." At Anna's pleading voice, he fell silent, mutely nodding even though he wished he could keep reassuring her that it wasn't her fault.

After a moment or two, Gary dropped her hand and turned to face the bed that Rachael was asleep in. He had to fight not to show any physical response to her state with how bad she looked; she was thinner than ever and looked incredibly frail against the white sheets of the hospital bed. Her flesh looked almost gray in the harsh fluorescent light and the bandages on her wrists covered the majority of her forearms, their presence adequately explaining where all the blood in the bathroom had come from. Gary was fairly certain that she had lost nearly as much blood as he had during the arbok attack; either way, her condition was obviously nearly as bad as his had been, physically at least.

He felt terrible for her but couldn't help but think that her situation was a bit better than his had been after his attempt. She had several people there for her and this wasn't something that was going to be kept a secret – the secret-keeping had been the biggest mistake possible on his part, he was certain. Not only that, but she had only needed a blood transfusion, if his suspicions were correct; at least she didn't need her stomach pumped like he'd had to go through with all the alcohol he had taken in that night. That was still discounting anything else the doctors had needed to do to get the medication and alcohol out of his system; he hadn't wanted to know back then and he still didn't want to know now.

Thinking back to that night made him suddenly realize exactly how lucky he had been that Andrew had come to his aide. Alcohol poisoning would have been nearly inevitable and the pills he had swallowed could have likely killed him on their own, given enough time. Combining the two… Well, even after vomiting until there was nothing left in his stomach hadn't been enough to reverse the effects.

A hand on his shoulder pulled him from his thoughts and Gary suddenly realized that his heart was pounding madly in his chest while he had to force himself to breathe regularly. Anna's hand on his shoulder had barely any of the normal calming effect that her touch usually did and he realized that he was on the edge of a panic attack.

"I can't stay in here," he gasped, turning and leaving the room as quickly as he could. He could hear Anna follow him but paid little attention as he felt his stomach churn while he struggled to breathe.

Sensing the way this was going to end, Gary headed towards the bathroom just down the hall and darted in, trying desperately to calm his frayed nerves. He gave up a long moment later and ducked into one of the stalls just in time to empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet when he heard the door to the bathroom open. A sigh could be heard as someone leaned against the door to the stall he was in.

"You really need to learn how to deal with stress better," Andrew's voice sounded from behind him. Gary ignored him, leaning against the wall and trying to avoid being sick again. "I mean it, Gary; it's not good for you to be puking every time you get stressed out –"

"It's not every time," Gary pointed out. This was true; the only recent times he had gotten physically ill under stress were just now and back in December when he spoke to his grandfather about cutting himself. Of course, it had happened far more often when he was in school in Sinnoh, but that was beside the point.

Andrew pushed the door open slowly and peered at him critically before sighing and reaching his hand out to pull Gary to his feet. "Come on, I'll take you home."

Gary stayed where he was, shaking his head – a move that he instantly regretted as a wave of nausea flowed through him. "I'm fine," he argued once the sick feeling passed.

"You're shaking," Andrew cut off the argument. He shook his head when his friend suddenly threw up again. "Do you _honestly_ think you're alright?" Gary gave him a weak glare and Andrew retreated from the stall as the door opened once more to reveal Anna holding a water bottle from the machine down the hall. "He's being stubborn," he explained to her as she raised her eyebrows at the sight of him standing there and the sound of her boyfriend vomiting.

"You have no idea how upset he has to be for that to happen," she said softly, still sounding just as upset as she had back in the room. Andrew groaned as she pushed past him into the room

"I know exactly how upset he has to be," he shot back. "You have no idea how many times I've seen this exact thing happen."

"Likewise."

Gary glanced up at her as her voice took on more of its normal quality and leaned back against the wall once more. His breathing was gradually returning to normal but he still felt sick and the after-effects of the panic attack left him feeling dizzy and weak. What had even brought this on, he wondered – was it simply the sight of Rachael lying on that bed, looking so helpless? Or had it been the thought of his own attempt? Had the realization of what he had put everyone close to him through hit him hard enough to send him rushing for a bathroom?

"Please, don't start arguing," he groaned, taking the water from Anna.

"I was just saying –"

"Leave it!" Anna snapped, interrupting Andrew before he could continue. He rolled his eyes and left the room, running a hand through his hair irritably as he did so, and Anna sighed softly as she turned her attention back to Gary. Silently pushing his hair out of his face, she was slightly alarmed to see how pale he had turned. "Calm down," she murmured, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Several long moments passed with them sitting there on the floor like that, their position proving to be an immense comfort for both of them until Gary spoke again.

"I didn't really expect you to leave the room."

Anna shrugged her shoulders slightly, mildly surprised that he felt that way. "There wasn't really anything I could do for Rachael but I knew I could help you calm down," she explained and Gary noticed that her voice sounded a bit more like it normally did. Something about seeing him panic like that had made her see some sense of reason; everyone had been affected by this and she couldn't just sit there, drowning in self-pity. Gary seemed to accept the answer as he didn't say anything in response to it. "I think you should probably go home, babe," Anna spoke up a few minutes later. Though it was apparent that Gary was feeling better, he was still shaky and she was certain that he still felt a bit sick. He looked up at her inquiringly and Anna couldn't help but smile a bit at it. "So you can take some time to calm down and relax a bit… It's not like you can do anything for Rach if she's asleep. Besides, Mom has to go home and sleep; maybe you can go home with her and keep her company."

Gary shook his head, the last thing he wanted to do was leave Anna alone in the hospital with no one by her side and he certainly didn't want Rachael to wake up with no one there. He quickly explained that to Anna, who merely sighed at his concern.

"I'll stay here with her, Gary," she replied, slightly exasperated. "I need some time to think… There's been so much between me and Rachael over the past few years; all things considered, it would probably be good for the both of us if I'm the one who stays. And Mom really needs to get out of here. She's so stressed being here – she needs to just go home and chill out. Like I said, there's nothing we can really do for Rachael right now… I don't want to see my mom get sick from worrying over her when there's nothing we can really do for her."

"And you want me to help your mom calm down?"

Anna thought for a moment before nodding. "Yeah… You can help each other, I think; Mom wants someone to worry over and you could use some babying yourself with the way you've been for… however long we've been in here."

Gary hesitated but finally gave in. "I'll go home with her if she even goes," he agreed. "Good luck getting her to leave though, you know how dedicated she is to you two."

--- --- ---

The house was surprisingly noisy when Andrew returned that evening – it seemed that everyone had decided to distract themselves with music and games; everyone being May, Bella, Michelle, and Kate, while the other people living in the house joined in to unwind from the stress that had been building recently. The house had actually seemed a bit quiet until Andrew passed the door leading down to the den in the basement and heard music and laughter coming from the other side of the door. His curiosity spiked and he pushed the door open in confusion, heading down the steps rather slowly as the noise got louder and louder. Finally, he saw everyone living in the house scattered about the room along with Ash, the three other girls, and a few friends of the girls. Tracey noticed him first and came over to hug him and press a kiss against his lips with a small smile.

"Michelle decided that it would be a good idea to have Ash's birthday party tonight. You know, unwind from everything that happened today," he explained as he took in Andrew's confused expression.

"Oh," was all Andrew said in response.

Tracey peered up at him with mild concern, startled by how confused his boyfriend still seemed. "Where's Gary?" he asked, realizing that Andrew was alone.

"I dropped him off at Anna's house with her mother. I actually came to get some stuff for him first."

Tracey smiled at the explanation and nodded. "I'll go with you," he decided suddenly. Andrew shrugged his shoulders slightly and took Tracey's hand, turning to head back up the stairs with his boyfriend in tow.

"How's the party going?" Andrew asked as they meandered through the first floor of the house towards the stairs. His plan was to take as much time as possible at the house with Tracey before heading back over to Nicole's house to check on his best friend. When he had left that house to come back to the Oak mansion, Gary and Nicole had been gathering supplies to clean Rachael's bathroom before doing anything else. He wasn't entirely sure that was the best idea, given Gary's reaction to seeing Rachael, but wasn't about to argue his point. It wouldn't do any good to argue, he had decided after leaving Gary and Anna alone in the hospital bathroom. He had finally accepted the fact that his stubborn friend would do whatever he wanted, damn the consequences; all he could do was hope that scrubbing the bathroom floor would somehow help Gary take his mind off of the day's events, though he doubted it would.

A small sigh escaped Tracey and Andrew could see his smile falter. "It's alright," he admitted after a short pause.

"Just alright?"

"May and Kate are both pretty upset," Tracey explained.

"Aren't they closest to Gary out of the girls?" Andrew pointed out.

"Yeah. That probably has a lot to do with it, honestly. I don't think they're able to separate this from him." Andrew nodded in agreement to Tracey's words; he had been ready to mention that before Tracey responded to his question. "And Kate was Rachael's best friend for a year or two, so it's hitting her really hard."

Andrew groaned. "Great, another person taking it badly," he muttered. Tracey frowned and stopped on the stairs, just a few steps short of the second floor, while Andrew continued on his own.

--- --- ---

One would think that a stain could be removed from tile after fifteen minutes of furious scrubbing, but that seemed to be untrue in the current situation. Perhaps it was because the vivid sight of the blood had burned into his brain permanently and he couldn't _not_ see the red liquid on the floor. Maybe he was losing his mind; either way, no matter how hard he scrubbed the bathroom floor, Gary could still see red as though the cleaner had done nothing. He groaned, unaware of how helpless it sounded, and vigorously scrubbed a spot on the floor for what must have been the thousandth time.

A small, feminine hand suddenly closed over his wrist and Gary jumped, startled by the unexpected contact. "Gary, _stop_," Nicole said. Her voice was soft and caring but her words were firm still; Gary sighed and dropped the scrubber he was using.

Glancing up at her, Gary could see that she was clearly worried. Then he followed her gaze to the floor and realized why she seemed so worried – the spot which he had been so furiously scrubbing at was entirely clean. He sighed again and pushed the scrub further away from him. "I think the fumes from that cleaner are getting to me," he hastily claimed, though he knew that was a lie.

"You didn't eat anything," Nicole pointed out, clearly under the impression that his lack of food had something to do with the way he was seeing blood when it wasn't there.

Looking around at the floor, Gary could see that it was nearly entirely cleaned and he wondered when it had become so clean – he could clearly recall the blood that had been there for the past half-hour that they had been working. After Andrew had dropped them off, Nicole had offered him food but, upon his claim that he couldn't eat without being sick again, suggested that they clean up Rachael's bathroom. She had wondered aloud if the repetitive motion of scrubbing the floor would help them in any way; either way, the blood needed to be cleaned up and sooner was better than later. The work had clearly calmed her down, though Gary was certain that his odd behavior was undoing all of the effects that cleaning had on her.

"I don't know if I can eat anything," he replied softly.

Nicole stood up and began to gather up the cleaning materials that she had used when Gary had been so focused on the one spot of phantom blood. "Nonsense," she said, catching him off-guard with how insistent she seemed. He had never questioned her parenting skills, but he was far more used to the laidback, casual side of her. "You're going to lie down while I fix us something and then, once Andrew brings you something to change into, you can take a nice long shower."

Gary couldn't help but give her a wry smile. "You're not going to take 'no' for an answer, are you?"

She seemed to deflate slightly under his gaze as she hesitated in the doorway with her arms full of cleaning supplies. "Gary, I need someone to baby right now, please humor me." Her tone bordered on pleading and Gary immediately felt bad for denying her urge to coddle him.

"Okay," he finally relented, following her out of the bathroom, wondering where the hell Andrew was.

--- --- ---

"Where the fuck is it?" was the first thing Tracey heard when he entered Gary's bedroom after leaving Andrew to his own devices for several minutes.

It took him a few seconds to locate his cursing boyfriend but he realized fairly quickly that Andrew was digging around in the closet for something. A glance around the room revealed Umbreon curled up on the bed next to a small pile of clothes while Andrew continued with his search for whatever it was he was looking for. Shaking his head slightly, Tracey walked towards the closet, wondering why exactly the other boy was in such a foul mood.

"Andrew," he sighed when he noticed the mess of the closet. Gary would undoubtedly be furious when he was the mess that Andrew had created… Then again, he had been far more laid back than what Tracey was used to so he was no longer sure that this would be the case. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to find the bag that he used to use for school but I swear the asshole hid it…" Andrew paused and crossed his arms over his chest as he glared around the closet.

Tracey frowned and glanced around as well, his gaze settling on a red backpack on the floor directly behind Andrew. Smiling slightly in mild amusement, he picked it up and handed it to him. "This one that's been behind you the whole time?" he asked, trying to keep his amusement out of his voice. Andrew snatched it from him and squeezed past him to go back into the bedroom, leaving Tracey to sigh wearily as he followed him into the room. "What's going on with you today? You were happy this morning, then you were mad at Gary, then you were okay, now you're mad again."

Andrew unceremoniously shoved the pile of clothes from the bed into the bag and tossed it to the floor before sinking down onto the edge of the bed. "Honestly?" Tracey nodded. "I don't know," he admitted quietly. "I guess maybe I just miss Sinnoh. Everything here is so different…"

"Pallet does get a bit boring," Tracey offered and Andrew nodded.

"And that's coming from someone who grew up in the Orange Islands," Andrew gave Tracey a small smile. "I've always lived around a city and I've grown up with half of the friends I have in Pastoria."

"Andrew, didn't you say something before moving here about _having_ to get away from Pastoria? That you _had_ to get away from your family?"

Andrew groaned softly and flopped back on the bed as Tracey sat down next to him. "Yeah, but here's the issue: no matter how far away you are, you still have to deal with them. I thought I'd be happier further away from my parents but I'm _not_. Now I just miss everyone and I feel bad because I have a job and a boyfriend here." A strange look passed over Tracey's face as though he wanted to say something but thought better of it; Andrew wasn't quite sure what to make of it. "What is it?"

"I'm really not supposed to tell anyone this," Tracey began slowly, unsure whether or not he should tell his boyfriend what thoughts had entered his head. "But the professor's thinking of cutting the research project"

Andrew's eyes widened briefly as he sat up, wondering if he had heard properly. "What do you mean?"

"I heard Professor Oak and Dr. Harris –"

"Alex," Andrew automatically corrected, eliciting an eye roll from his boyfriend. He was constantly correcting the other boy on this matter; Tracey ignored it this time.

"Talking over the phone," he continued as if Andrew had never interrupted him. "The whole eevee breeding program has pretty much fallen apart… It was supposed to start in February but we haven't been able to get any eevees or any evolutions that we can use. Plus we lost Gary as a researcher, May's most likely leaving, Ash is leaving after the competition to retour Kanto, Chris was offered a job in the lab on Cinnabar when he graduates, and, on top of all of that, the professor is thinking of retiring in the next year or so."

Andrew sighed, mostly in relief. "Sounds like I might end up with only one thing keeping me here then."

"Even if the project did fall through - which it most likely will, very soon – you could still have a job here. There's a lot to do in the lab…"

A small smile curved Andrew's lips as he glanced over at his boyfriend. "I think you missed the point, Trace."

Tracey leaned forward and pressed a kiss against the other boy's lips. "I don't think I did; I was just commenting." He fell silent for a moment and laid back on the bed, smiling slightly when Andrew laid next to him and gently grasped his hand. Umbreon shifted her weight at the head of the bed, serving as a reminder of where exactly the couple was. "I think Gary's planning on proposing to Anna soon," he announced quietly, causing Andrew to groan softly.

"I wonder how this whole situation with Rachael is going to affect that. I bet it'll somehow make him do it sooner," Andrew muttered almost bitterly.

"Maybe it'll make them slow down a bit," Tracey suggested. "But then again, if they're talking about moving to Sinnoh together…" he let his voice trail off.

"Shit," Andrew muttered, sitting up suddenly. "It's been over half an hour – Gary's going to kill me if I don't get back over to Anna's." He picked the back pack off of the floor and gestured for Umbreon to come along with him as Tracey slowly sat up, looking as though he had an idea of some sort.

"We should go out for pizza."

Andrew cast a quizzical look his way, wondering where on Earth that particular thought had come from. "Tracey, all the places in Pallet are closed now," he reminded the boy.

"There's a great place in Cerulean that's open all night; it's near the gym. Plus, I have connections there," he added with a mischievous grin.

"I thought all your exes lived in Pallet?"

Tracey shook his head and rolled his eyes slightly. "A friend – old traveling buddy who happens to be a gym leader and is fun to hang out with when she and Ash aren't at each other's throats."

"We probably won't get there until almost midnight," Andrew pointed out, sounding rather doubtful about the idea.

"So we'll get a hotel room there. Just us; it'll be nice to spend some time alone. We can get away from the drama here for a bit."

Finally, Andrew saw where this idea of Tracey's was going and nodded. "I guess we should pack up then," he agreed with a grin.

--- --- ---

**::Author's Note::**

I have to admit I'm really burned out when it comes to this story and I'm only going to write enough to wrap it up somewhat. I'm still thinking of doing a prequel and I might eventually do a sequel but I'm really not sure if that'll happen or not. Next chapter should be up fairly soon and I'm hoping it'll cover a lot of stuff.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and has a good New Years! Thanks to Kasandra for reviewing.


	69. Chapter 69: Arrival Part 3

**Beyond The Walls**

Many apologies for the delay, but I felt it would be best to take a break from this story and let myself get back into it instead of trying to write when I just wasn't feeling it. That said, I'm not sure how often this will be updated. I'd like to finish it up this summer but we'll see.

Either way, thank you to those of you who have reviewed!

Okay, so where were we? Gary and co. found out that Rachael tried to kill herself. Anna was very upset and spent the night in the hospital at her sister's side while Gary had a panic attack and went home with Nicole (Anna and Rachael's mom). Gary realized exactly how much his suicide attempt must have affected everyone close to him and had a bit of a panic attack. Meanwhile, Andrew is frustrated with Gary being moody and upset about the whole ordeal; to help him calm down a bit, Tracey suggests an impromptu trip to Cerulean City. If you haven't read this since the last update, you might want to just skim through the last three chapters for a refresher – I know I had to read and reread them a few times before I was able to finish this chapter.

Next chapter should be up soon!

Chapter 69: Arrival Part 3

Slowly opening his eyes, Gary became aware of music playing elsewhere in the house. It was late in the morning, or possibly early in the afternoon, judging by the light pouring in through the window of Anna's bedroom. For a short moment, he was confused; a bit startled by the vivid purple walls and the brightly colored bedspread that surrounded him before he remembered where exactly he was. It had been a long night and he was both happy and disappointed that it was over. Of course, he and Nicole were both upset about the whole thing – it would be awhile before they could get over it in any way – but when they chose to speak about nonrelated things, he found himself rather enjoying her company.

He had always liked Nicole and they had always gotten along rather well, but something had clicked last night. Maybe it had something to do with the amusing stories she had told him about his parents and Alex when they were younger, maybe it the way she had babied him after they had cleaned the bathroom and she had noticed that he was still upset, but he saw something in her that he found inspiring. Her confidence in spite of the fact that one daughter was in the hospital after making an attempt on her life and her obvious, unwavering love for both of her children struck him deeply and Gary once more found him vowing to make some sort of change.

Andrew had been right in the bathroom at the hospital; it wasn't good for him to be panicking the way he had, especially in an unfavorable situation. He couldn't control the occurrence of a situation, but he could certainly control his response to a situation – something he had failed to do the day before.

Gary finally sat up on the bed, realizing that he couldn't sleep any longer even if he tried. He tugged off the clothes that he had slept in and took a quick shower in Anna's bathroom, feeling refreshed when he emerged, as though he had washed away a large amount of negativity. He couldn't be absolutely positive until he returned to the hospital and made sure that Anna hadn't poisoned her sister in her sleep without anyone to supervise the two girls, but after seeing Anna's concern for Rachael the night before, he had come to a decision. When he had gone to Pastoria last, he had told Alex that it felt as if there was one thing between himself and Anna; Alex had suggested it was Rachael and Gary couldn't deny that this certainly was the case. Now he was determined to make the best out of a terrible situation and view this as an opportunity for the girls to make up. At the very least, he hoped that they would stop fighting and that he could actually renew his friendship with Rachael without pissing off his girlfriend.

Once progress had been made… Well, he had plans for that.

… … …

Anna's night had passed rather uneventfully. Rachael had remained asleep the whole time, unless she had briefly awoken at some point when Anna had left to use the restroom or to fetch some food from the machines, or during the times when she had dozed off. In between curious text messages from Michelle and Chelsea, she had spent a lot of time thinking and reliving so many scenarios between herself and her sister over the past several years. Despite the numerous fights they had gotten into, and despite the way the two siblings seemed to hate each other, Anna knew for a fact that she loved her sister and was certain that the reverse was true as well. When she had seen her sister's reaction to seeing Gary in the hospital, she had begun to grow worried about the girl's behavior in recent months. Now she regretted not reaching out sooner.

No matter what, she couldn't go back in time to change the past and everyone would simply have to deal with that fact. Now that this had happened, it was time for changes to start occurring. She couldn't be so stubborn; this she had figured out when she had found out that her beloved boyfriend was in the hospital and had nearly died while she had been angry with him for something stupid over the course of a week. She would have to forgive her sister for everything that had been said and done; it would be hard as her sister had called her many cruel names that stung deeply even now, but she could do it.

The only question was whether or not her sister could do that.

A small groan was all it took for Anna to shift her attention from the window to the hospital bed as her sister finally began to wake up. She slowly made her way back to the seat she had spent most of the night in and sat down. It was several moments before Rachael fully awakened and Anna felt a brief jolt of worry as her sister's gaze flitted around the room before resting on her. Expecting the worst reaction possible, Anna was surprised when Rachael merely sighed and closed her eyes again, seeming to slump against the pillows on the bed.

Unable to think of what to say, Anna hesitated for a moment before finally speaking. "You scared the shit out of us, you know," she said softly, her tone far less harsh than the words.

"I didn't realize someone worthless could do that," was Rachael's flat reply.

"Rachael…" Anna sighed. "You've said worse things to me before. I was running out to come here –"

"Yes, I know." Rachael groaned. "The snake incident. It was nice of everyone to tell me that Gary nearly died –"

"You came with us the next day!"

Rachael didn't reply and Anna simply sighed, growing frustrated with her sister's responses. Obviously it was going to be awhile before they could speak without one of them pissing off the other. She glanced up at the clock on the wall and forced down a groan – it was still morning, but barely and she was starting to wonder when her mother would be coming back with her boyfriend. Rachael closed her eyes and appeared to be asleep once more, but Anna knew her better than that. "I stayed here for a reason, you know," she said a moment later, knowing that her sister was still awake.

"To make Mom think that you're a _wonderful_ daughter?" Rachael replied sarcastically, keeping her eyes closed.

Anna felt a rush of anger surge through her at the bitter response. "That's not it at all!" she exclaimed irritably. She bit back a spiteful response and took a deep breath; it wouldn't do any good to react harshly. "You're my sister," she hissed through clenched teeth. "You've treated me like shit and you made it impossible for me to keep living at home, but you're my fucking sister. You honestly think this doesn't affect me? You don't know what the hell you're talking about if that's the case." Rachael stayed silent and Anna took the opportunity to press on. "Why did you do it? If you had said something –" She stopped talking when she noticed tears falling from her sister's still-closed eyes.

A small sigh escaped her as she stood from her chair and slowly approached the bed with a soft apology. She took Rachael's hand and hesitantly sat on the edge of the bed. "Gary was really sick last night," she began slowly, haltingly. "Panic attack… I would have loved to just go back to his house and lie down with him until he felt better, but I decided to stay here instead. That should tell you something."

Rachael looked up at her, tears still trickling down her cheeks, but with confusion in her eyes. "Gary doesn't have panic attacks," she said softly, causing Anna to give a small laugh.

"He does when he really upset, which, thank Odin, isn't as often as it used to be."

"Odin?" Rachael echoed, appearing almost as confused as she had before Anna had spoken.

"The Nordic god. Andrew started it – he's Gary's ex-boyfriend," Anna explained when Rachael still seemed confused.

At that particular announcement, Rachael stopped crying entirely and gave her sister an incredulous look. "Gary's _what_?" she asked, unsure if she had heard properly. Anna repeated what she had said and smiled a bit at the baffled expression that passed over Rachael's face. "What the hell have I missed these past few months?" she demanded, causing Anna to grin.

"I thought you'd never ask."

… … …

After meandering through the house, Gary found Nicole in one of the spare rooms on the first floor, jogging on a treadmill wearing a pair of small shorts and a sports bra. Having not expected encountering his girlfriend's mother in such a revealing outfit, he paused in the doorway for a second before entering the room. Nicole smiled when she saw the hesitation and slight blush through the mirror that was in front of the treadmill opposite the door and reached for the stereo remote, flipping off the Iron Maiden album that had been playing since Gary woke up. She greeted him sweetly as she stepped off of the machine.

"Nice music choice," Gary commented languidly, leaning against the wall just inside the door to the room.

Nicole glanced at his shirt and gave a small laugh, noticing that the logo was for the album she had been listening to. "I hope I didn't wake you… Running helps me clear my head and I can't do it in silence."

Gary nodded slightly. "Trust me, I know," he assured her. "I was actually hoping to talk to you about something."

"Of course," Nicole agreed. "Does this have to do with Rachael?"

"Wrong daughter."

"Ah, Anna, of course. I was wondering if you were ever going to talk to me about that."

Gary closed his eyes briefly; he knew he should have asked Alex not to tell anyone about what they had talked about when he had gone to Pastoria the week before. "Alex told you, didn't he?"

"He told Monica, who told me; so, technically, yes."

"Figures… Do you think this will get Anna and Rachael to stop fighting so much?" he asked bluntly.

Nicole shrugged but she was smiling when she did so. "If anything were to make them knock it off, it would be this," she said reasonably. "Now, what I want to know is why you have to wait for them to stop. If you love the girl, then just marry her."

Gary grinned at the suggestion but shook his head. "With how much Alex and Monica tell you, I would think you would know how stubborn I am by now."

"You're going to stick with your plan of waiting for Anna and Rachael to put aside the sibling rivalry from _Hell_ before you ask her to marry you?"

"Something like that."

Nicole echoed his response in a questioning tone before shaking her head. "You're crazy, you know that."

"I'll give them a month to start getting along. Then we'll see from there."

"I still say you're crazy but then again, you _are_ dating Anna." Nicole sighed when Gary simply smiled. "You're going to do what you want no matter what, aren't you?" She shook her head again at Gary's affirmative response. "Well, you _are_ the only person I would trust enough to marry one of my daughters… If you're serious about this… Then you have my blessing."

Gary couldn't help the grin that spread across his face at her final statement. She may have thought that he was crazy to hope for Anna and Rachael to begin getting along but he wasn't about to argue, not when he now had permission to do something he had been dreaming about recently. Things were changing for the better and he was convinced that this would be the end of the hatred between Anna and her sister.

… … …

Upon his return to the hospital, Gary could feel some of his confidence betray him but he ignored the knots forming in his stomach. There was no way he was going to have the same reaction as the night before, especially not when he was this determined to get his old friend back to herself. Nicole entered the room first and Anna came out a few moments later, appearing far happier than Gary would have expected her to be.

"She's awake," Anna explained when she noticed Gary's inquiring look. "She's a lot like her old self when she's distracted."

Gary wasn't entirely sure if she meant before Rachael had suddenly begun to lose weight and become withdrawn or if she meant before they had begun arguing, but he assumed it was the latter. If it was the former, Anna wouldn't be this cheerful. "That's good," he replied. There wasn't much else he could say.

"I told her about you and Andrew," Anna continued, appearing amused for some reason.

Gary simply shrugged at that. "Not much of a secret anymore, is it?" Anna shook her head, still seeming amused. "What else did you tell her?" he asked curiously.

"I told her about you working in the lab and about Andrew, Chelsea, Chris, and Shawn moving in; Chris and Bella dating, May being crazy lately, and you and Andrew."

"Did you tell her about why I came back home in the first place?"

Anna shook her head again, suddenly turning serious. "I thought it would be better for you to tell her and actually talk to her about it. She was starting to cheer up a bit when I was telling her about everyone so I didn't want to kill the mood."

"You want me to tell her all of the details about…?" Gary let his voice trail off a bit nervously. He had sat down and told several people about the suicide attempt but the only person he had told in detail was Alex; not even Anna had heard the details and he doubted telling Rachael all about it would help very much.

"I think it would help her – knowing that someone that she really trusts has been through it. Maybe she'll open up to you about it."

Gary sighed softly and resisted the urge to shake his head. "Maybe, but I've never really talked to anyone about it-"

"What about Alex?" Anna interrupted.

"Forget Alex for now, Anna, I haven't even told _you_ the details. All I told you in September –"

"Was that you moved home because you downed half a bottle of prescription pain killers. I really don't want to hear the details," she interrupted again. "My imagination gives me enough details to give me nightmares, Gary," her voice fell at the last part and she looked away from him.

Gary frowned at her reaction and gently turned her face so that she was looking at him once more. "Are you serious about the nightmares, Ann?" he asked softly, suddenly worried about what affect his prior actions had on her without his knowledge. A small nod was the only response to his question and Gary cursed softly, pulling Anna against him in a tight embrace as he buried his face in her hair with quiet apologies.

A small smile crossed Anna's face and she accepted the hug. After a moment, she pulled away and forced a larger smile. "We need to stop this; let's focus on the positive stuff instead of all of the negative shit." She rolled her eyes when Gary gave her a strange look. "What?"

"Positive stuff?" he echoed skeptically.

"Yep," Anna agreed. She slid her hands along Gary's arms until they rested at the back of his neck and smiled up at him. It was a forced smile, he could easily tell, but he couldn't resist relaxing as her hands toyed with his hair. "Rachael's going to be okay, I passed my test, I got my car, and now you're here. All positive things."

"I guess so."

Anna rolled her eyes with a soft sigh and shook her head; the response was to be expected and she knew it couldn't really be helped. The situation with Rachael was one that would require skepticism but they couldn't just focus solely on her sister. There were too many other things to think about and everyone could use the occasional distraction from everything going on in the hospital. One of the nurses had told Anna and Rachael that one of the hospital psychiatrists would be coming by to check up on her and with that and the need for distractions in mind, Anna suggested that they leave the hospital for awhile and get lunch from one of the nearby cafes in the city.

Though the intention had been to be gone only a short while, they ended up being gone for several hours, taking advantage of the pleasant weather to walk around the city after eating. Through constant conversation, Gary learned that Rachael had been very curious about everything that had been happening around the lab and the house in the past several months and that, after the initial hostility had passed, she had actually gotten along rather well with Anna. The latter fact made Gary hopeful, especially after his earlier conversation with Nicole back at her house. What made him even more hopeful was the fact that Anna admitted to being tired of the issues between herself and her sister. She had made it very clear to Gary that she was ready to put everything behind her, meaning that the improvement of matters between the two sisters fell almost entirely on Rachael's shoulders. Though this made Gary extremely happy, he remained a bit wary; he knew that it would be difficult for either of the girls to entirely put aside everything between them.

With more conversation, plans began to unfold. Anna would be putting together a formal portfolio once she returned home so that she could apply to the school in Hearthome City. She planned on setting up an admissions interview and going up to the city to check out the school and the area in person, perhaps with Rachael if she felt up to it; she figured it would be good to get her sister out of Pallet for a few days. A small frown furrowed her brow when Gary suggested that he go as well; when she asked why he replied simply, saying that he could spend some time with friends in Pastoria. Anna sensed that he had some sort of idea involving Rachael and his musician friends, not that this was at all a bad thing. Meeting some people that shared a musical interest would probably be another good thing for Rachael. Perhaps meeting some of Gary's friends who had gone through rough patches in life could help Rachael as well; talking to people who had been through the same things could be beneficial.

Either way, if Anna was accepted into the school, she would have to move to Sinnoh and Gary had made it quite clear that he would be going along with her. It was obvious that he was hoping they would have to move up there; it was only a slight infliction in his voice that showed the excitement but it was still there. When asked what he would do in Sinnoh, Gary had shrugged, claiming that there were plenty of options, ranging from hanging out with friends in Pastoria to going back to school for the sole purpose of annoying Alex, and May, if she were to take the secretary job that Alex had mentioned. He had assured Anna that, no matter what, he could find something to do; the most important thing, in his opinion, was Anna's happiness. If going to a journalism school and getting a job as a journalist would make her happy, then he would go along with her. His family had enough money that it wasn't a big deal to move and, since he wasn't really sure what he wanted to do with his life, career-wise, moving and experimenting with different things wouldn't bother him much. Being in Pastoria meant that he was close to the vast majority of his friends so he wouldn't be bored or lonely, even if Anna was gone at school most of the time.

Gary saw nothing to be concerned about and that fact surprised both him and his girlfriend; Anna had even pointed out that no one would believe them if they informed them of this fact.

After a long while, the conversation eventually returned to Rachael and what they were going to do in the upcoming weeks that we be undoubtedly difficult for everyone. Anna had spent the entire night with her sister and had spent the morning talking to her, though they had gotten along with no issues, she didn't want to stay in the small hospital room for two nights in a row. She was worried that staying even longer than she already had would lead to an argument. It was simply too soon for the twins to be around each other for long periods of time. It was with that in mind that Gary decided to stay with Rachael for the night this time.

By the time Gary and Anna returned to the hospital Rachael was done with her psychiatric evaluation and was sitting up in bed, talking with her mother while occasionally picking at a tray with hospital food on it. To Gary's surprise, she smiled at the sight of him and pushed away the tray so that she could hug him.

"I'm so glad to see you," Rachael whispered, pressing a kiss against his cheek.

Gary smiled wanly and returned the kiss. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," he whispered back.

"I wouldn't have let you be there," she replied, releasing him from her hug as her smile faded. "Mom said that you've been worried for awhile but no one ever told me what set you off."

Anna and Nicole both appeared surprised by the unspoken inquiry but Gary, for some reason unknown to even himself, was not. "It should be obvious, Rach," he answered reasonably. "You lost a ton of weight and then went all 'philosophical' on me last time I talked to you. I would think that would be enough to set anyone off." He hesitated, wondering if he should wait to point out that he had been through the same thing when they were alone. After a moment, he decided against it and continued speaking after taking a deep breath. "And because the reason I moved home in the first place was because I tried to kill myself."

The silence that followed Gary's admission was unnerving. Rachael looked understandably surprised considering this was her first time hearing about this. The tense silence from Anna and Nicole was what surprised Gary; he turned to see why they were being so quiet and was faced with more shocked faces.

"You already knew about that, why are you so surprised?" he asked them.

Anna shrugged. "I didn't expect you to mention that so soon."

"I didn't expect to hear you say it at all," Nicole admitted.

Not knowing what to say in response, Gary turned back to Rachael in time to see her snap out of her state of shock. A variety of different emotions crossed her face: disbelief, concern, and finally, sympathy. "I guess that explains it," she said quietly. Though she said nothing more, her eyes showed that there were definitely other things she would like to say.

An awkward silence fell over the room and Gary shifted his weight uncomfortably, hoping that someone would say something. He blamed the silence on his comment about his attempt and now regretted saying it in the first place. It was Anna that broke the silence next.

"How did it go with the crazy person doctor?" she asked, referring to the psychiatrist Rachael was supposed to have seen while she and Gary were gone.

Nicole shot Anna an imploring look, wondering why her daughter would word the question in that way; Gary was wondering the same thing when Rachael gave a small laugh. He glanced over at her, saw that she seemed genuinely amused by the joke, and allowed a smile.

"There's a good chance that I'm going home tomorrow afternoon," Rachael announced to her sister and Gary after she stopped laughing. "The doctors don't really think that I'm a danger to myself so it's just the wrists keeping me here." Her voice took on a sad edge to it as she looked down at the bandages that covered her forearms and Gary felt a surge of sympathy towards her as he remembered the worry he had felt regarding his ability to play his instruments when he had been bit by the arbok in the lab.

"How many stitches?" he asked curiously, unable to help himself.

Rachael seemed a bit surprised by the sudden change in subject. After glancing at his arm, where she could just barely see the scars from the arbok bite from where she sat, she smiled grimly and answered. "Thirty-one. Nineteen in my left arm and twelve in the right, plus a three-unit blood transfusion. What about you?"

"Forty-two and three units," Gary replied. He didn't need to ask what she was talking about, it seemed obvious enough to him what the question was referring to. "God knows how much pain medication," he added as an afterthought.

They continued the conversation for only a few moments before Nicole changed the subject, asking Anna and Gary where they had been all day and what had taken them so long to return. Gary couldn't help but notice how relieved Rachael seemed to be when the conversation turned away from hospital talk. Anna took the opportunity to explain her plans to apply to the journalism school in Hearthome and both her sister and mother seemed interested, especially when she mentioned moving to Sinnoh with Gary.

"You're getting pretty serious, Gary," Rachael observed. There was a faint smile curving her lips but it didn't entirely reach her eyes; whether this was because of the circumstances of their location or because of something else, Gary couldn't be tell. He nodded, unsure of what to say in response to her comment. "You've only been dating, what, five or six months?"

"Officially," Anna pointed out.

Rachael raised her eyebrows as if tempted to challenge that but said nothing. Surprisingly, Nicole didn't lend her voice to the conversation, she shot Gary a glance and grinned, raising one eyebrow as if to ask, 'are you sure you want to do this?' He lowered his eyes and shook his head slightly – the tension was still there between the girls and it was already starting to frustrate him. Finally, Rachael sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter that much," she relented, waving a dismissive hand.

Her dismissal of a potential argument was a good sign, Gary decided and he chose not to think about it anymore. Nicole started talking with her daughters once more and, after nearly an hour, she and Anna left to return to Pallet for the evening. As soon as her mother and sister left, Rachael looked up at Gary and gave him a mischievous grin.

"What?" Gary asked, fidgeting uncomfortably.

Rachael laughed and crossed her arms lightly. "So, what's this about a boyfriend?"

Laughing, Gary dropped into the chair next to the bed and shook his head. "Figures you would ask about that first," he muttered. He folded his legs beneath him in an effort to get as comfortable as possible in the small chair before beginning to tell her about Andrew.

… … …


	70. Chapter 70: Truth

**Beyond the Walls**

Oh, Odin, it's been **forever** since I updated this! My baby has been neglected! Anyway, those of you who are still reading, I'm soooooo sorry for this massive fucking delay! Jobs, moving, teaching, planning a wedding: they all take away from my time writing and I hate it! :'( I've also been more focused on my Gary/Tracey stories and some other half-formed ideas of mine…

I'd really like to take some time to finish this fic up, and hopefully I'll have a chance to do that soon-ish.

And, without further ado:

Chapter 70: Truth

The evening in Pallet was not unpleasant if one were to judge it by the weather. The sky was clear and boasted a spectacular sunset while the temperature was just right for sitting out on the porch, which May would be currently doing if it wasn't for the fact that the porch was occupied by Tracey and Andrew, who had just returned from a random trip to Cerulean City. Instead of being outside by them, May was perched unhappily on the window seat in the living room, occasionally shooting jealous glares at the couple as they talked and occasionally kissed.

It seemed as though the weather was mocking her with its charm; it truly had not been long since she had sat on the back porch on a beautiful night while her little brother was in the hospital. Now it was like this while one of her close childhood friends was in the hospital a mere three days after an attempt on her life. It was pure irony and she resented that fact. A sound almost like a sigh came from nearby and May looked over to see Umbreon lay down next to the window seat. Loki followed the older canine and attempted to climb up on the window seat, only to be shooed away by May; the Growlithe puppy had followed her around all day in Gary's absence and she was now tired of dealing with him. May's puppy, Freya, perked up at the appearance of the two pokemon and began crying from her perch on the seat next to May until she scooped her up and placed her on the floor next to Loki and Umbreon.

The two puppies played for awhile with May watching them absently, desperate for any sort of distraction as a wave of jealousy came over her when a burst of laughter came from the next room. Chris and Bella were doing something, she didn't care what – she was jealous either way. After a few minutes, Umbreon's ears twitched and she raised her head from the floor, looking around for a noise that only she could apparently hear. The two pups stopped playing a few seconds later, Loki curiously tilting his head and peering around while Freya huddled next to Umbreon. Listening closely, May finally heard the noise that had caught their attention: a roaring sound that was coming from nearby. May groaned, wondering what on Earth was going on out on the preserve to make any large pokemon make that noise.

The noise grew louder and a motorcycle suddenly pulled into the driveway, causing May to smile when she recognized Alex. His presence usually meant that Damien was there as well. She couldn't help but smile at that.

Out on the porch, Andrew and Tracey pulled apart from their current mini-makeout session as Alex climbed off the motorcycle, grabbed his bag off the back, and headed up the driveway. May could hear Andrew's voice through the window as the boy greeted him cheerfully as though he had been expecting him. Suddenly excited by the sound of voices and footsteps on the front porch, Loki ran out of the room and towards the front door, quickly followed by May as she called after him. She reached the front hallway just as the door opened and Loki bolted outside; she cursed and hurried up to catch him just as Alex came in holding the puppy.

"Now, where's your owner to keep you out of trouble, fur ball?" he asked the pup, who licked his cheek in response.

"He was at Anna's last night but I haven't heard from him since," Andrew explained as he and Tracey entered the room behind Alex.

"Maybe he's staying at the hospital," Tracey suggested.

"Hospital?" Alex echoed, looking confused for a moment before realization dawned on him. "Oh, that's right. Rachael. I felt so bad when Monica told me about it."

"Monica told you?"

"She's friends with Nicole," May answered Tracey's question. "Is Damien with you?" she couldn't resist asking.

A knowing smile formed on Alex's face as he shook his head. "Between work and painting the house, he's pretty busy this week."

"He should make Jon get off his ass and help with the house," Andrew spoke up.

Alex shook his head again, remembering that Andrew's best friend before Gary had been Damien's younger cousin and roommate. "He just got a second job to help pay for the house since Shawn's not there anymore. They could really use another roommate," he added with a glance at May. "Damien seemed especially disappointed that he couldn't come this time, though I have_ no_ idea why. It's not like he misses Chris _that_ much." May blushed a deep pink as he winked at her.

"Busted!" Andrew announced in a singsong voice. Tracey swatted his arm when he laughed at May's deepened blush.

Alex smiled at Andrew's comment but the humor faded as he looked May up and down. She looked incredibly tired, her hair hung limply around her face and there were dark smudges under her eyes that she hadn't even bothered to cover up with her usual make up. It was certainly not the way Alex was used to seeing her. "You should come back to Pastoria with me later this week, May," he said. The girl gave a halfhearted excuse not to go but Alex wasn't buying it. "You look terrible, you need to get out of here for awhile," he pressed.

"You always know what to say," May replied dryly with a roll of the eyes.

Sensing the tension growing between them, Andrew nudged Tracey in the ribs and tilted his head in the direction of the stairs. "I'll let Chris know that you're here," he told Alex before leading Tracey out of the room. He had experienced the tension between Gary and Alex far too often and did not want to get involved between Alex and May as well.

"That's not what I meant, May," Alex pointed out once Andrew and Tracey had left. "You look like you need a break from everything. I think getting away from Pallet for a bit would be a good idea." He could see that May was thinking about going along but he knew that she could be just as stubborn as her brother and there was a very good chance that she wouldn't go without some major prodding. "I'll be here a few days, think about it for me. Maybe talk to your brother; I'm sure you could talk him into going with you if you don't want to go up by yourself."

May sighed and nodded. "I'll talk to Gary," she relented. While Alex left the room to head down to the lab, she headed over to the phone in the living room. She needed to at least find out where her brother was and when he would be coming back home.

… … …

Rachael was laughing, something Gary happened to be particularly pleased with, even if the laughter was at his own expense – technically his _and_ Andrew's, but that didn't matter much. Given Rachael's usually stuck-up demeanor, most people would have expected a response such as derision to the stories he told her about things he and Andrew had done during his time in school. However, Gary knew her well enough to know that derision was not a likely response, at least not towards him; he had always been one of her closest friends and was almost always able to get her to come out of her shell. She acted genuinely curious about this boyfriend that she had never heard about until her sister mentioned him that morning and she responded to the stories with amused laughter or astonished questions that always seemed to lead to more stories.

It had been a few hours since Anna and Nicole had left them alone in the hospital room and they had stayed on topics that were humorous. It seemed like a good idea to keep the conversation light, at least until Rachael seemed ready to talk about what had happened – Gary figured it would be best to give her some time to bring it up on her own. If, after awhile, it seemed that she was avoiding it in the same way he had until September, then he would bring it up himself. There was no way he was going to let her block it all out the way that he had.

Just as Gary was finishing telling Rachael an interesting story involving Andrew, Chelsea, and a roll of duct tape when his cell phone rang. Expecting the caller to be Anna, Gary didn't bother glancing at the screen before answering.

"Hey, babe," he answered casually.

"I am not Anna," May's irritated voice replied.

Gary cringed and fought down a laugh as he glanced over at Rachael before replying. "Sorry, May. I wasn't expecting to hear from you."

Rachael snorted at the response. "Nice one, Gary."

"Oh shut up," Gary shot back playfully. "Not you!" he added hastily as May replied angrily. "I was talking to Rachael, I'm staying in the hospital with her tonight."

"I was wondering where you were," May admitted, her initial irritation fading. "Alex is here."

It took Gary a moment to think of why on Earth Alex would be in Pallet. He remembered fairly soon that the reason had to do with Chris; he was putting the finishing touches on his thesis and needed to present it at the university in Pastoria in the next week or two. Being his advisor and also being the school professor overseeing his work, Alex felt that it was necessary to periodically check in at the lab. Gary knew that Alex also used this as an excuse to check in on him and his sister.

"He wasn't supposed to be here until next week; he must've heard about what happened."

"Maybe," May agreed. "How is she?"

"She's fine right now. How's everyone back home?"

"Same. Michelle's pretty shaken up and Kate's really upset, I actually haven't seen her since Saturday but Ash said that she was in rough shape today. Shawn's over there with her now, I think."

"What about you?" Gary pressed. "And don't say fine," he added when she started to give that precise response.

May sighed on the other end of the line and paused before answering. "Let's put it this way," she began slowly. "Alex thinks I should go to Pastoria with him to get away from everything going on here."

"That seems like a good idea. Did Damien come with him this time?"

"No. Alex is being kind of insistent on me at least visiting Pastoria."

"Again, probably a good idea," Gary repeated. "May, there is nothing in Pallet for you." Rachael gave a derisive snort at the comment and nodded her head.

"There's nothing there for any of us, really," she replied, causing Gary to glance over at her worriedly.

"He said I should talk to you," May said a bit hesitantly.

"For what? To go with you?"

"Pretty much."

"I could do that, if you want. It's up to you," Gary replied without hesitation. He didn't even need to pause to think about going with her to Pastoria. Anna needed to go up to the school in Hearthome anyway, so what was the trouble with him going along with May?

"I'll think about it," was May's only response.

They spoke for only a moment longer, the conversation only lingering long enough for May to find out when Gary was planning to return home and if he needed anyone to bring anything to the hospital for him. Once he hung up the phone and returned it to his pocket, Rachael looked at him and raised her eyebrows in silent inquiry.

"May's been kind of depressed lately," Gary explained with a sigh. "She's sick of Pallet, basically, but since she doesn't know what she wants to do in life, she thinks she's stuck there."

"Really?" Rachael asked flatly. She seemed only mildly interested, but Gary was certain that she sympathized with his sister, even if she didn't make it obvious.

"That's the shorthand version of it. She also likes one of my friends but he lives in Pastoria… I just think she should get out of Pallet and go somewhere where she can get a real job and go to school. She rarely leaves the house since she works in the lab and she sees the same exact people every day. It's a boring life and she's miserable. Doesn't help that everyone she's close to is in a serious relationship, except for Michelle."

Rachael heaved a sigh and turned her attention to the window that was across from her bed. "A relationship is what got me into this mess in the first place," she muttered, her voice seeming far more hollow than it had throughout their entire conversation.

The comment caught Gary's attention: he couldn't recall Rachael having ever been in a relationship, at least not one that he knew of. "Relationship?" he echoed, frowning slightly. Rachael nodded and Gary's frown deepened. "You mean everything with Anna?"

She appeared thoughtful for a moment. "That has something to do with it, yeah," she replied distantly, her eyes anywhere but on Gary. He couldn't help but notice the way her demeanor had changed since he had gotten off of the phone with May. All amusement from their previous conversations had simply disappeared straight into thin air and the relaxed nature Rachael had taken on earlier had been replaced by obvious tension.

"Rach?" She remained silent and Gary began to grow worried. "Come on, Rachael, talk to me," he pressed. Rachael shook her head and Gary suppressed a sigh, trying to figure out how to get her to talk to him. He leaned back in the seat and thought for a moment before trying again. "What does the stuff with Anna have to do with this?" he asked, gesturing to Rachael's wrists. Rachael responded with a glare that caused Gary to raise his hands in surrender. "Alright, stupid question, I get it. You haven't gotten along very well in the past few years, you've both said some pretty cruel things to each other…" A thought suddenly came to him as he remembered Anna's reaction in Rachael's bathroom before Andrew had driven them to the hospital the day before. "That last fight between you guys must have been really hard for you; isn't that when you took that knife?"

Rachael responded with yet another glare but Gary didn't surrender this time. After a moment or two of putting up with his intense gaze, Rachael relented. "Yes, that's when I took the knife from her."

"Why?"

She shook her head again and scoffed. "You don't have any idea what I was going through then, Gary," she pointed out.

"Then enlighten me."

Another sharp sigh escaped her but she replied quickly. "I was pissed at her for what she did to you – putting you in a situation where you had to choose what to do with your relationship – I was pissed at myself for saying the things I did to her, Mom was pissed at me, Kate wouldn't even speak to me, and I knew you and May weren't going to talk to me –not after what had happened at the Halloween party. Part of it was to get back at her for all of the shit she did."

"What was the other part, then?" Gary asked.

Rachael shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted. "It just made sense at the time for some stupid reason. There were days when I would pick it up and just stare at it; I wanted – I don't know why, but I just felt so _drawn_ to it. I wanted to give it back after awhile – it was scary how much I kept coming back and looking at it and touching it. But I couldn't; I just couldn't give it back to her because then I would be admitting what I had done and then I would be admitting what I wanted to do with the knife… I was scared."

"You wanted to cut yourself." She nodded and this time it was Gary's turn to sigh. "The scariest thing is when you first start wanting to do that-"

"It starts off with just one random thought –"

"And then you can't stop thinking about it," Gary finished for her.

"It keeps eating at you and it doesn't let up until you finally do it."

"Then it's okay for a little while and then it just gets even worse after that." Gary then realized what exactly Rachael had just said and frowned. "Wait… Did you do it at all before this?" he asked, suddenly worried. He breathed a sigh of relief when Rachael shook her head. "All of the floodgates open once you do it; you can swear that you'll never do it again but it's so addicting. It hurts but –"

"It makes you feel alive once you see the blood. The feeling that you're controlling whether or not you live or die is so invigorating, it's such a relief… Until you're left with time to think about it and you realize…" Her voice trailed off and she blinked rapidly, trying to hold back tears.

"And you realize what you're leaving behind," Gary finished for her. He reached for her hand and pressed a gentle kiss against it, a move that caused the tears to spill from her eyes. "I know, Rachael."

She made no move to reply and Gary froze, trying to think of what to do to get her to keep talking. Personal experience told Gary that it would not be a good thing if Rachael stayed quiet; he had inadvertently put himself through Hell and back by bottling everything up and never telling anyone about what he had done for a few months. He was convinced that the sooner she told someone everything going through her head, the sooner she would recover from this. Finally, he decided to simply tear down the walls and talk to her about his own attempt to get her to open up about hers. He knew he wasn't entirely ready to do that but, as Andrew had pointed out the day before, he would never be truly ready for this – Andrew had pointed out facts like that several times and Gary had to admit that he was incredibly grateful for his friend's startling wisdom.

"That's what stopped me," he finally said. Rachael glanced up at the sound of his voice, looking mildly surprised to hear him speak about this particular subject. "I thought of everyone at home and I couldn't do it… I knew how much it would affect May and Anna. The second I thought about that, I knew I just couldn't." Gary paused, his gaze at the floor. Just thinking of it made him feel ashamed for the selfish act. "I would do anything to keep May from losing another person close to her, even if it meant that I had to admit that I couldn't stay in school. And I couldn't put Anna through that… I would have preferred humiliating myself by dropping out of school just to see her and be with her. I knew I couldn't let my friends find me the next morning – it wouldn't be fair to them. I can't even imagine what Andrew's reaction would have been: he was the one that let me drink in the first place that night… He would have felt so guilty." He paused, unsure of whether or not he could go on describing those thoughts, fortunately, Rachael spoke up after a moment, preventing him from needing to continue.

"I thought of Mom and Anna," she replied softly, still crying. "I couldn't stand the thought of never making up with her."

"What else?" Gary asked. Rachael shook her head and Gary could see that her breathing had sped up to the point where she could barely speak. He ran his thumb over the back of her hand and waited until she had calmed down a bit before speaking again. "I thought of Alex a lot, too," he admitted. "He's been the closest thing I've had to a father for so long, I can't imagine… It would have been like losing his own kid."

It was at this statement that Rachael suddenly froze for a moment, as if caught by surprise by what he had said. A moment later and she was crying again, nearly choking on sharp sobs. The change took Gary by surprise and it was a few moments before he could even ask her what was wrong. Even after asking, it was a few more minutes before she could attempt to answer the question.

"I didn't tell anyone," she whispered when she was calm enough. Gary wanted to prompt her to continue but chose to stay silent, remembering how hard it had been to tell May, Anna, and Alex. It was best to just let her do it on her own. "I didn't tell anyone," she repeated again, after a long pause. "Not Mom, not the doctors… Not even Bryan."

"Bryan?" Gary asked, unable to keep from interrupting at the mention of the unfamiliar name.

Rachael nodded. "My boyfriend, pathetic piece of shit that he is – the only thing going for him is looks and musical talent… Thinks he's so damn special because he plays lead violin at school; thinks it gives him the right –" she choked on the words and stopped speaking for a moment again. "I missed two periods, stopped seeing him after the first one…"

"Missed… Rachael, what?" Suddenly realization struck Gary and his eyes widened. "You're…" Rachael nodded again, tears streaming down her face once more. It was a moment before Gary found his voice again. "Seriously?"

"I took the test on Thursday," Rachael admitted. "That was what finally pushed me over the edge…"

"And you didn't tell anyone?" She shook her head and Gary found himself speechless once more. "Rach, you've got to tell someone… There's so many things that could wrong – especially with how much blood you lost!"

"I can't tell anyone," she insisted.

Gary scoffed at her response. "You just told me!" he pointed out angrily.

He desperately wanted her to see the severity of this situation; he had heard of so many things that could happen to a fetus, or a pregnant mother for that matter, in situations like this. The physiology professor at school had been rather graphic with descriptions, most likely to discourage the students from promiscuity. He could clearly remember Chelsea's pale face as she declared that she would never have sex with another guy in her career as a student – this lasted until the next due date came up and stress got the best of her. Their quick encounter in Gary's bedroom of the house in Sinnoh had served solely to relieve enough stress to let them focus enough to finish their lab report in time.

Gary shook the memories from his head and refocused on his friend, pushing away the flash of anger that had appeared in response to her attitude. "Come on, Rachael," he pleaded. "Keeping this a secret is going to do so much more harm than good. And how are you even going to keep it a secret? I'm pretty sure there will be a few signs in a few months!"

"Gary, my mother-"

"Nothing will upset her more than the fact that you tried to kill yourself instead of telling her. You've already done the damage, she deserves the explanation."

Rachael narrowed her eyes at the reply. "And how many people have you given _your_ explanation to?" she shot at him.

Something in Gary snapped at the challenging question. This game of self-pity was getting old fast and he was forced to realize how everyone around him must have felt for the longest time. "You want to know why I tried to kill myself?" he hissed. Rachael recoiled slightly at his tone but said nothing. "That day was the anniversary of the day that my parents died, so that should be the first clue to the state I was in! I was only seventeen and I was about to start working on a graduate degree for a career that I didn't even want but was _apparently_ trapped in. I was away from my best friend in the world and I was so fucking confused about what was going on between me and your sister – all I wanted to was to be with her but I doubted that my family would ever approve of it. That's without getting into how confused I was about my own sexuality – why don't you try having a boyfriend when you don't even realize that you're not straight. Oh, and did I mention school?"

By now Rachael's gaze had dropped to her lap. She looked ready to surrender to the fact that she wasn't alone but Gary wasn't about to stop speaking.

"You know how much work you four year music degree is – try condensing those classes into two years and add about five totally unrelated labs onto each semester! Try adding all of the pressure of becoming a researcher on to that! Constant work, Rachael – being in classes and doing labs every day from eight in the morning until eight or nine at night, writing ten page research papers and data reports between classes, staying up until three or four in the morning to get as much work done as possible, just to get up the next day to repeat the whole thing all over again! Is it any wonder we would go out and get completely _smashed_ every night of the weekend? Think of how that would affect _anyone_, and then add in everything else that was going on for me. How much can one person take?"

Gary's voice softened and he reached out to turn Rachael's face upward to meet her eyes. "You're almost twenty, Rachael; I was only seventeen. That makes such a difference. I was still just a _kid_, Rach – I was scared. How much pressure can you put on a kid? I didn't see any way out, it's not like I wanted to die! All I wanted was for someone to give me a break, to show me that things could be different. Instead of asking for help, I chose to drink a bottle of vodka and swallow half a bottle of painkillers; at least I had the sense to puke it back up. That's what got Andrew's attention: he's the one that got me to a hospital, he's the one that suggested I come back home, he's the one that suggested I tell someone… He's pretty much the reason I'm still alive. Thinking of Anna and May is what gave me the will to do it but Andrew's the one that forced me to do it."

Rachael was silent for a long time afterwards. Her head was spinning from everything that Gary had said and it was difficult to allow anything to sink in. "You're trying to be like Andrew," she said after a long while.

Gary closed his eyes and nodded. "You have no idea what these past few months have been like, Rach. I'm not going to lie, they've been so hard that there were times when I just wanted to give up…" His voice trailed off as his mind wandered momentarily, drifting towards the hardest parts of last eight or nine months: moving on from the death of his parents, coming to terms about everything between himself and Anna and Andrew, fighting the urge to cut himself, and now this. He sighed softly and shook his head slightly before giving Rachael a small smile. "It was worth every bit of torture. It's still hard, there are still days where it takes every bit of will power to just get out of bed, but it's still worth it."

A few more moments passed in silence before Rachael spoke up hesitantly. "I don't know where to even begin," she admitted.

"I think I know where to start," Gary replied. Rachael raised her eyebrows inquiringly and promptly narrowed her eyes when Gary reached over and pressed the nurse call button on the side of her bed. He smiled slightly and spoke before she could open her mouth to argue the move. "I told you, you need to tell someone," he explained with a shrug. "I'm not letting you make the same mistake I made by keeping secrets." One of the nurses appeared in the doorway to the room and Rachael turned her gaze toward the window once more while Gary turned his attention to the nurse. "Rachael has something she needs to tell you."

… … …

It was late at night, the air still a bit humid from an afternoon rainstorm, though not unpleasant. The atmosphere outside was far more pleasant than it was inside, especially on the balcony, where Gary could see the Viridian Forest beneath the starry sky. The forest sprawling into the distance was a peaceful sight, yet oddly, Gary found himself longing for a sight that wasn't so natural. He almost wished the hospital wing that Rachael was in had been on the opposite side of the building, where the balconies overlooked the outskirts of the city. Though vastly different from each other, Viridian City served as a reminder of Pastoria – some place that Gary currently longed to be at. The character of Pastoria was incredibly alluring at the moment: the relaxation of happily hanging out with friends, the invigoration of doing music with the other musicians… It all combined to make a better situation than he was currently in.

He sighed and rested his chin in his hand as he leaned against the concrete railing surrounding the balcony and tried not to be too disappointed in the way the day had turned out. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had done the right thing by forcing Rachael to tell the nurse the truth about the situation, Gary couldn't help but feel guilty. It was as though he had betrayed her trust by doing that. Of course, that wasn't how Rachael had acted at first – she had actually seemed somewhat relieved after hearing the nurse say that they would run some tests to make sure that everything was alright with her. Things changed once Nicole arrived at the hospital later in the afternoon.

"Boy is she pissed at you," a familiar voice spoke up, causing Gary to look away from the view to see who had joined him.

"I couldn't let her keep something like that a secret," he replied, turning away from Alex to return his gaze to the forest. When the older man had arrived at the hospital, he wasn't quite sure. He had probably shown up only a few minutes after he had left Nicole with Rachael and her doctor to head outside.

Alex leaned against the railing next to him and crossed his arms casually. "You told the nurse a very important factor that could have meant the difference between life and death –"

"And then forced her to tell her mother."

"You made her own up to what she did by telling Nicole. It wouldn't have been fair for you to tell her. It's Rachael's problem, not yours, and Nicole is her mother, she needed to hear it from her daughter, not from one of her friends," Alex pointed out reasonable, his voice surprisingly gentle.

When he thought about it, Gary realized that Alex was right. Nicole had arrived while Rachael was having some tests done and Gary had told her just that – that her daughter was having some tests done to see how well she was doing. Upon returning to the room, Rachael had asked Gary to tell her mother exactly what was going on, something he refused to do. As Alex had said, this was indeed her own problem and she had to own up to it. He was certain that having someone else take the burden of telling Nicole would only delay Rachael's full healing. He had stayed there while Rachael told Nicole, he had even held her hand when she did it.

Unfortunately, Rachael was not particularly happy with this arrangement. She began acting very coldly towards Gary after that and he had left the room when the doctor had returned with her test results. He did not want to be the target of her anger, or the scapegoat for her pain, if the news was bad.

Gary shrugged. "I guess so," he said softly.

"You're not going to be miserable for the rest of the night, are you?" Alex asked, frowning slightly at Gary's response.

To his surprise, Gary shook his head. "You think that's going to help any?"

Not bothering to hide his surprise, Alex grinned. "Good response," he replied. He couldn't help but feel a bit proud of the response – it proved to him that Gary had changed immensely over the past several months since moving back to Pallet Town. "I have news, if you want to hear it," he added hesitantly.

"Good or bad?"

"Depends how you look at it," Alex replied with a small shrug. "She's definitely about two months pregnant and it's amazing that she didn't have a miscarriage already from losing so much blood."

"So, the…" Gary sighed, unable to believe that this sentence was about to come out of his mouth about Rachael, of all people. "Baby… is alright?" Alex didn't reply right away, causing Gary to look over at him curiously. "Is it?"

Alex sighed. "That's the thing," he said uncomfortably. Gary could tell that he was holding something back and that something was wrong. After hesitating for a minute, Alex spoke again. "It's ectopic... In the fallopian tube instead of the uterus."

Gary took in a sharp breath, exhaling slowly as he wearily rubbed his face. This was not good news – this type of pregnancy could potentially kill Rachael if it progressed and the growing fetus caused the fallopian tube to rupture. In a way, the suicide attempt was a good thing as it brought the situation to the attention of other people. Still, this complicated matters. "What's going to happen to Rachael?" he asked.

"Well, they'll have to remove the pregnancy. With her state of mind right now, it's probably a good thing that she won't be having a child. Losing the baby will probably be hard on her, though. Monica had a miscarriage once and it took her over a year to get over it; it was hard. She's still depressed about it sometimes."

"I didn't know that," Gary said softly.

"It was when you were training in Johto – years ago – and she doesn't like to talk about it."

They were silent for a few minutes before Gary spoke up again. "Do you know how they're going to do it?"

"Remove the pregnancy?" Gary nodded and Alex gave another shrug. "They can use medication but they might do surgery instead since it's so far along. I've never heard of a tube pregnancy lasting more than two months without rupturing." Another few moments passed quietly as Gary gazed out at the forest. Alex shifted his weight uncomfortably after awhile; the air on the balcony simply was not pleasant. "Do you want to see her before they … you know?"

Gary sighed and thought about it for a moment before shaking his head. "I don't want to upset her more right now, not with the chance of her having surgery." He frowned slightly, unhappy with his own decision. He wished he could see Rachael before anything happened, but he was under the impression that the mere sight of him would infuriate the girl. Nonetheless, it seemed important to show her that he cared. "I have an idea," he suddenly said, stepping past a rather confused Alex to head back into the hospital.

"What are you doing?" Alex asked curiously as he followed Gary to one of the nurse stations, where the teen asked a nurse for a piece of paper.

"If I tell you, you'll call me a nerd," Gary replied calmly as he drew out several parallel lines and connected them with a treble clef.

"You're not Andrew," Alex pointed out, watching Gary add notes to the music staves he had just drawn. "He's the one who's obsessed with dragons and loves Lord of the Rings."

Gary shook his head with a small smile; Andrew couldn't read or write music if his life depended on it. "If I was Andrew, I would be drawing guitar tabs." He finished drawing, returned the pen he had borrowed from one of the nurses, and folded the paper. "It's her favorite song, but I'm one of the only people who knows that," he explained with a small shrug. "I think she'll understand. Give it to her for me?"

Alex nodded and took the paper from him. He walked to Rachael's room and disappeared inside for a few moments before reappearing with the same sheet of paper, still folded. Upon seeing that Alex still had the paper, Gary frowned, his heart sinking until Alex handed it to him with a smile. "She understands," he said simply. "I'm going to get Nicole some coffee, I'll be back."

As soon as he was gone, Gary unfolded the paper and peered at it. He had quickly drawn out the notes to Rachael's favorite non-classical song – a surprising choice for Rachael, given her serious nature: a song from The Little Mermaid – Part of Your World. She hated admitting it and Gary had always loved to pick on her for it, given the nerdiness (as Gary had often put it) of the song, the two of them had their own version of it that they would play together, forming a beautiful, fun, and, in some parts, epic song. Rachael had drawn more staves below Gary's and he couldn't help but grin when he saw it: the notes to his own favorite song: a Symphony X song that his father had taught him to play on piano when he was young. It had taken forever to learn, being only a six-year-old beginner at the time, but his father had patiently helped him for over a month until he had it down perfectly. At one point in time, Gary had even taught Rachel to play it – one of the few times he had been able to teach her something to do with music.

Alex returned a few moments later and disappeared into Rachael's room for a few moments before he reappeared and gestured for Gary to follow him down the hall to the elevators. He muttered something about getting food while Gary warily followed him, only partially willing to leave the hospital.

Gary was only mildly surprised when Alex led him to the Camaro in the parking garage, rather than Monica's Scion, which Alex normally borrowed when heading to Pallet. "You just couldn't resist taking my car, could you?" he asked blandly, slightly annoyed. He wasn't fond of letting other people drive his car, especially not since it originally had been his father's car.

"With how much work I put into it with your father, I have the right to borrow it when I want to, and I took the Harley from Pastoria; I don't expect you to ride on the back of it," Alex pointed out as he unlocked the red car and climbed into the driver's seat. "So, let's talk food. What do you want? Pizza, Chinese? Subs sound pretty good, too…"

Gary slumped in his seat, crossing his arms and gazing out the window with a sigh. The last thing he felt like thinking of was food.

Alex seemed to notice this and he shook his head. "I'll just drive around while you pick," he offered, flipping on the radio while Gary nodded absently. "Try not to think too hard about it," he added jokingly. He smiled at Gary's faint glare.

Despite Alex's joke, Gary couldn't help thinking. He was physically exhausted from talking to Rachael for hours and from sleeping poorly the night before, but his mind was restless. Rachael, one of his childhood friends, someone he had a special bond with, was pregnant and was losing her child while Alex expected him to think up something to pick up for dinner. May, his beloved sister, one of the sweetest and kindest people he knew, was home, depressed and feeling helpless while he was finally gaining control of his life. Anna, the person he loved more than anyone else one Earth, had been so happy about passing her test and getting her new car, had been so eager to get into the journalism school in Sinnoh and now he had no idea what was happening with her. He hadn't even been able to speak to her about those things since the situation with Rachael had become apparent.

So much was happening, so much seemed to be going wrong. It was all so complicated and all he longed for was the simplicity of childhood. He just wanted to go back to the days where the hardest thing he had to do was avoid getting into trouble at school or wait for his father to finish cooking dinner. Things were easy back then…

He closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the seat, calling forth old memories. Days like today, at the very end of March, had always been pleasant and warm – a touch of rain sprinkling over Pallet in the afternoon but tapering off in time for his father to light up the grill for a dinner of cheeseburgers, grilled vegetables, and macaroni and cheese. Though he had always had to take a large dose of medication to tame his stomach's extreme intolerance of dairy, this had always been a common dinner for the Oak family, especially while his mother was doing research in the field.

Gary could so clearly recall the scents of recent rain, fresh cut grass, and grilling food; the feel of his favorite stuffed growlithe clutched in his hand, the warm sun shining down on him; the sounds of May giggling with her friends, his father patiently repeating for the ninth time for him to get away from the grill, Alex's light teasing when he finally dragged him away from the grill… He was completely lost in the fond memories, mentally reliving the way he would run around and annoy everyone in the backyard until Alex would have him show him whatever his father had taught him on the piano that day just to calm him down. Remembering the way the food had smelled so wonderful and then tasted so good – even when his father inevitably overcooked the burgers – left his mouth watering and Gary realized exactly how hungry he was.

"I want a cheeseburger…"

Alex jumped slightly at the sudden words and then looked over at him. "Gary… You don't eat meat," he pointed out, baffled by the comment. "I thought you had fallen asleep; I've been driving for twenty minutes."

Gary simply shrugged. "I still want a cheeseburger." He hadn't eaten one since he was seven and he couldn't guarantee that he would even be able to eat one without getting sick, but the craving was too strong to decline.

With a sigh, Alex pulled the car onto the shoulder of the road and turned to Gary. "You really want cheeseburgers?" Gary nodded silently. "You haven't eaten meat in eleven years. What brought this on?" He seemed suspicious and Gary supposed he couldn't entirely blame him.

"I remembered the way things used to be," Gary replied simply with another shrug.

Alex appeared to thing for a moment and then held out his hand. "Cellphone." Gary hesitantly pulled it out of his pocket and handed it over, watching as Alex dialed a number that he recognized as the number back home at the mansion.

"What are you doing?"

"We're already almost halfway to Pallet."

"I thought you said we were going to drive around."

"And then I thought you had fallen asleep so I left Viridian – Hey, Chris, can you do me a favor?"

Gary frowned in confusion as Alex spoke on the phone. "Alex, what the hell?"

Alex shushed him by holding up one finger as he continued to talk to Chris on the phone for a few minutes. Finally, he smiled. "Thanks, by the way, have Andrew pick up Anna and have May invite the girls over, and Ash, while she's at it… You'll see when we get there in about half an hour. Bye." He hung up the phone and handed it back to Gary with a cryptic smile. "I hope you weren't expecting me to stop at some fast food joint for a mystery meat burger."

"I was expecting you to talk me into just getting pizza."

"Pizza over burgers," Alex said sarcastically. "Jeremy's rolling in his grave."

Gary couldn't help but smile at the mention of his father. It felt as though the day had turned for the better.


	71. Chapter 71: Stress

**Beyond the Walls**

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I've updated this story! I remember updating once a week or every two weeks for the longest time! This chapter has been pretty hard to get out, not just because of all of the events crammed into it but also because of life in general. Very unfortunately, I've found myself in a situation where I can sympathize with Gary more than ever. In April my mother was in a horrible car accident where her PT Cruiser was rear-ended at a red light, pushed 20 feet forward into the cars in front of her, and was pretty much destroyed. She actually died in the accident, came back and was in the hospital for a week and a half and then in rehab for another week and a half before coming home for a week and dying of a pulmonary embolism. It's early November as I'm starting on the second scene in this chapter and I'm finally getting out of my fog and being able to return to this story.

Hopefully it flows well from the previous chapters and is not a disappointment. I wish it were a bit longer but I figured I should go ahead and post something.

Chapter 71: Stress

It seemed strange to see the house bustling with life when Gary returned with Alex, and Gary found the excitement vaguely intimidating. As hungry as he was and as desperate for distractions as he was, he was simply exhausted and just wanted to collapse in bed and sleep for the next twelve hours.

It quickly became apparent, however, that this simply was not an option. The moment he had entered the kitchen through the garage, he had been bombarded with questions and requests. Anna had quickly hugged and kissed him, asking how he was doing, somehow giving him the impression that she knew what was happening at the hospital. Michelle and Kate and quickly followed with their own hugs and questions about him and Rachael while May and Bella sought his input on what type of vegetables they should make for dinner. On top of the many questions being thrown his way, he couldn't help but be distracted by Chelsea and Andrew bickering over several boxes of pasta at the door of the pantry. Loki, unbeknownst to either teen, snuck between their legs to scamper off with a bag of pretzels stolen from the bottom shelf, only to be stopped by Arcanine a few seconds later. Chris opened the back door heading out to the deck and asked Gary to come out and help while Umbreon pushed past him and bolted straight to her master.

Taking a moment to allow the bombardment of questions to sink in, Gary mused Umbreon's fur and laughed softly at the way his Arcanine growled at its own son to drop the bag of snacks – Alex quickly made his way to the two canines and wrestled the pretzels out of Loki's grasp, picked up the puppy and placed him in Gary's arms before he could get into any trouble. He took a breath and pushed away any remaining thoughts about the hospital.

"I'm fine, Rachael will be alright – I'll tell you more later – whatever vegetables we have are fine. Andrew, Chels, it doesn't matter which type of pasta you use because it all tastes the same; and, Chris, I haven't been around a grill since I was a kid being told to get away from it – have Alex help you. Did I miss anyone?"

"I don't know, _did_ you miss us, Gary?" Andrew asked with a grin. He pulled a box of pasta out of Chelsea's arms and replaced it with the one he had been arguing in favor of; Chelsea retaliated by yanking on his hair, causing him to yelp and glare at her as she retreated to the opposite side of the kitchen.

Gary laughed and shook his head – some things would never change. "Yeah, I missed you guys," he replied with a roll of the eyes.

Andrew pumped his fist in the air with a triumphant whoop. "Yes! Success! You hear that, Chelsea? He missed us!"

"Yeah, sure," Chelsea said, shooting Gary a glance that was half amused and half annoyed. "I'm sure you're the only exception to the whole missing part."

"Bitch," Andrew muttered in response, still smiling. He looked at Gary and seemed to become slightly more serious. "You did miss me, right?"

Gary grinned and scratched Loki behind the ears. "Not at all," he replied, finally crossing the room, heading in the direction of the hallway and the stairs beyond. "I'm going to go take a shower, let me know if you need any help."

The second floor was far quieter than the first had been – even the rooms outside of the kitchen were bustling with life. Gary had passed Shawn, Tracey, and Ash in the living room on his way to the stairs and he was certain that Michelle and Kate would join them shortly. The last thing he felt like doing was being surrounding by people, at least for the moment. He would enjoy being around his friends after he'd had a shower and a few minutes by himself to collect his thoughts. Confident that everyone would remain downstairs, and therefore not be bothered by any noise, Gary turned on the stereo in his room loud enough to hear over the running water in the bathroom. A Circus Maximus album that he had borrowed from Tim in Sinnoh recently came on and the room was filled with complex guitar and progressive keyboard melodies. He couldn't help but smile as he felt his mood improving already. His friends in Pastoria had shown the band to him when he had visited after the Arbok attack and he had become familiar enough with the songs to sing along to them before he had left to return to Pallet. Even the highest of the vocal melodies were in his range, though he hadn't attempted singing them around his friends – he needed more practice to hit notes perfectly. He hated to do anything musically if he couldn't do it perfectly, even if it still sounded just fine.

Standing in the shower, his thoughts wandered to his Sinnoh friends and he realized that he missed them more than he had realized. There was an almost innocent quality to the mood that arose from the young adults playing music together. Everyone had their own problems, some nearly as severe as his own had been before moving home, but music would erase it all, if only for a short while. In fact, after he had finally opened up to Alex about the events in July – something he desperately tried to keep from mind right now – he had gone across the street to Charlotte and Tim's house and ended up playing for hours along with Ben, Ashley, Nik, Beth, and Damien. It had been one of the few times he had been around while Damien played guitar and occasionally loaned his vocals to the mix and, while it was a bit strange and unusual at first, something had felt right. Everyone had sounded great and Gary suddenly felt like fleeing to Sinnoh just to recreate the experience.

After a few songs, he realized that he had been in the shower for quite a long while, singing quietly along to the music the whole time. Sighing in resignation, Gary stepped out of the shower and was surprised to see Anna at the bathroom counter, brushing her hair. She smiled when she saw his reflection in the mirror.

"Hey there, sexy," she greeted impishly, her smile turning into a grin as Gary wrapped a towel around his waist. "You sounded good, you know," she added, returning her attention to her own reflection.

Gary frowned slightly; perhaps he hadn't been as quiet as he thought but he passed it off and kept his attention on his girlfriend. He approached her and placed his hands on the counter on either side of her. Anna smiled again, set down the hair brush, and turned in his arms. He leaned down and pressed a small kiss against her lips. "I missed you."

"I just saw you yesterday, babe," Anna replied, never losing her smile.

"Yeah, but it feels like I haven't actually _seen_ you since Friday. It's Monday now."

Anna slipped her arms around Gary's neck and rested her head on his shoulder. "It's been a long weekend." She sighed quietly and raised her head to meet Gary's eyes. "Mom told me about Rachel. I guess you were somewhere with Alex when she called me. It was before the procedure…"

"Have you heard back from your mom yet?" Gary asked curiously. He hadn't heard anything about Rachael's procedure and, in fact, didn't even know if the doctors had decided to do a surgical removal of the pregnancy or not. He did know that they were preparing to do whatever the procedure was before he left the hospital with Alex.

"That's the reason I came up here," Anna replied with a nod. "Everything went fine. Rachael's upset, obviously, she'll probably be in the hospital at least another day."

"I almost think she should stay there a bit longer than that."

"Well, how long were _you_ in the hospital?"

"Two days – but they didn't know it was a suicide attempt," Gary pointed out. "We used alcohol poisoning to cover it up, remember? Not only is this a suicide attempt but now everyone found out about the pregnancy…"

Anna frowned and narrowed her eyes slightly. "Everyone I know who was in the hospital for alcohol poisoning went home the next morning. They probably saw all of your cuts, screened you for any drugs, and kept you longer when the screens came back with all the pills you swallowed."

Gary rolled his eyes and was about to pull away from her but stopped. She wasn't trying to upset him by bringing it up; she was simply being reasonable by pointing out what he should have already either known or thought of. In all honesty though, he had very few recollections of that stay in the hospital and he had tried very hard to keep it out of his mind so he didn't know why he had been in the hospital for that specific length of time. "I guess so," he finally replied mildly. He kissed her cheek and began to pull away so he could get dressed but Anna pulled him back to her.

"Sorry to bring it up, babe –"

"No, I need to deal with it sooner or later," Gary cut her off with a small shrug. "It's fine, Anna," he added when she looked up at him doubtfully. He could tell that she felt bad about bringing it up so he cupped her face and kissed her softly.

She deepened the kiss on her own and slid her hands into Gary's hair, her fingers getting caught in the wet tendrils. Slowly, her hands trailed down his chest and stomach before stopping at the towel wrapped about his waist. They pulled apart from the kiss as Anna rested her hands on Gary's hips and pushed the towel away. "Is it wrong that I want to fuck your brains out right now?" she asked suddenly, with a mildly concerned expression.

Gary shrugged again. "It's stress relief."

A small smile curved Anna's lips as she looked up at her boyfriend and toyed with the edge of the towel. "Think you're up for some stress relief?"

Gary laughed and hugged her, grateful for her sense of humor. "Stress relief sounds pretty good right now."

… … …

Though dark and a bit muggy, the back yard was a pleasant environment. Several growlithe puppies were running around, playing happily while Gary's arcanine watched on lazily. Ash, May, and several of the girls were seated around the table on the deck, all talking and laughing whilst swapping funny stories. Tracey couldn't help but snicker softly and shake his head as he heard Ash recounting a story from their Orange Island adventures involving a weedle and Misty's sleeping bag. Next to him, Andrew glanced distractedly in his direction – it was the first time he had taken his eyes off of his sketch book in the last fifteen minutes.

"Focus," Tracey said softly, still not removing his gaze from his own sketchbook, except to glance up at the puppies for reference.

The two boys were sitting on the steps of the deck, sketching the puppies as a friendly competition while the others laughed and joked. It seemed to be one of the few ways to keep Andrew from annoying Chelsea or Chris while she helped Alex and Bella with food and he worked on his thesis on his laptop in the kitchen.

Tracey added the finishing touches on his latest sketch and set the book down next to him. He watched Andrew for a moment, taking notice of how adorably focused he was, before reaching over and tugging on the other boy's messy ponytail. Andrew looked up at him and sighed quietly.

"You always finish first," he complained.

"If the competition involved drawing dragons, you would win every time," Tracey pointed out calmly. He reached out and pushed a stray strand of hair behind Andrew's ear, making the taller boy blush ever so slightly. "And I wouldn't mind losing to you," he added before leaning forward and pressing a small kiss against Andrew's lips.

Andrew smiled, set down his sketchbook, and returned the kiss. "I used to be able to draw faster," he admitted after he pulled away from the kiss. "I just never had much time to draw when I was in school in Pastoria, so I've lost my touch."

"It happens," Tracey repli ed calmly. "You still draw well. Maybe now that you're taking classes online you'll actually have time to draw more."

"Well, with you around, I kind of have to draw more often."

Tracey grinned and poked his boyfriend in the ribs playfully. "You know you like these little drawing competitions," he teased.

Andrew nodded in agreement as he slipped an arm around Tracey's waist and pulled him closer. They had started having friendly drawing competitions over the past few days as a way to deal with the stress that seemed to be seeping throughout the entire house and lab with everything that had happened with Rachael, plus Andrew's concern over his recent mid-terms, and Chris' ever-looming thesis and pending masters degree. They would draw whatever scene there was and whoever finished first was the winner, sometimes they mixed it up and had some of their roommates vote on whose was better. Either way, it relieved stress and it was a fun thing that was their own.

It was nice to have a couple's thing, Andrew decided. It wasn't something he'd ever had before and he was happy that Tracey was the first person he got to share it with.

A sigh from his boyfriend shook Andrew out of his thoughts as Tracey rested his head against his shoulder. "What's up?"

Tracey shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being so close to the blonde boy. "It's nothing," he said quietly. Andrew had to wonder if he had been thinking of the reasons why they had started these drawing competitions in the first place.

Andrew was quiet for a moment, frowning as he gazed at his boyfriend – Tracey was acting differently this evening and Andrew was finding it a bit alarming. "I have to ask…" he began slowly. "How are you holding up to all of this stuff with Rachael? It seems like it's bothering pretty much everyone in some way."

"I'm fine," Tracey replied flatly. The tone in his voice, combined with the speediness of his response convinced Andrew otherwise.

"You sure about that, Trace?"

"I said I'm fine. All I really want to do right now is draw," Tracey continued, irritably turning to a blank page in his sketchbook.

Andrew's frown deepened at the response. "Come on, Trace; what's up?" At the repeated question, Tracey sighed, stood, and began heading towards the back door of the house. "What the fuck?" Andrew muttered to himself, gazing out at the backyard for a moment before standing up and following his boyfriend into the house and towards the stairs. "Trace…"

Tracey ignored him and began heading up the stairs towards his bedroom. He was tired and stressed out. Everyone in the house had been stressed for whatever reason, whether it was because of Rachael, Gary's response to Rachael, or school. It seemed like half of the people in the house depended on him in some way to calm them down and he found himself finally starting to crack under the pressure. He pushed past Gary on the stairs, ignoring the sound of Andrew's following footsteps.

"Hey, Trace," Gary greeted quietly, sounding just about exhausted. "You okay," he asked when he saw the irritated look on his friend's face.

"I would be if everyone would leave me alone for a bit."

Gary paused on the stairs and watched Tracey disappear on the second floor of the mansion. He briefly debated on following Tracey but opted to give him some space rather than follow him like Andrew was obviously doing. Andrew appeared on the stairs and quickly headed in the direction Tracey had gone but stopped when Gary grabbed his arm as he passed him. "He's probably sick of being around everyone, give him some breathing room." A door on the second floor closed loudly and Andrew made an attempt to continue up the stairs but stopped when Gary didn't let go of his arm. "Andrew, seriously. Leave him alone…"

It was obvious that Andrew was thinking of simply yanking his wrist out of Gary's grasp and going up to his boyfriend's room anyway but he sighed after a moment. "Fine," he relented. Gary released his arm once he was sure that the blonde boy wouldn't take off up the stairs. They met each other's eyes briefly and Andrew sighed again – they were so close and for an instant he felt as though they were back in Sinnoh, in the house in Pastoria, exhausted and stressed from school and both needing release. Gary certainly looked exhausted and his damp hair hung in loose tangles down his back. He looked utterly kissable and, if it weren't for his obviously upset boyfriend weighing so heavily on his mind, Andrew would probably close the distance between them by pressing his lips to Gary's. He closed his eyes and pushed the thoughts away. "Come on, let's go upstairs," he muttered, stalking up the stairs and dragging Gary along behind him.

As they reached the top of the stairs, Anna appeared with her bag slung over her shoulder. Andrew rolled his eyes at the sight of her mussed hair, sure that he knew exactly how it had gotten so messy since he had last seen either her or Gary.

"Where are you going?" Gary asked, pulling away from Andrew and resting a hand on Anna's hip.

"Home," she replied simply, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm going to pick up a few things for Rachael and then take her car up to the hospital."

Andrew watched as they spoke briefly before kissing; Anna headed down the stairs and the front door opened and closed a moment later before the two boys continued up the stairs. "She seems to be taking it pretty well," Andrew observed as they stepped into his bedroom and closed the door behind them.

"Mmmhmm," Gary hummed distractedly, flopping down on the couch in front of Andrew's television.

"What now?" It was obvious that Gary's mind was elsewhere.

Gary looked up at Andrew, surprised by the annoyance in his voice. After Anna's appearance in his bathroom, he hadn't been able to keep his mind off of her and the time spent in his bed with her did nothing to help. He felt nearly ready to take the next step.

"How would you feel if I married Anna?" he asked Andrew perfectly calmly.

Unsure if he had heard properly, Andrew's eyes widened. He ran a hand through his hair and sank down on the couch next to Gary. "Fuck, Gary… Have you lost your mind?"

"That would be a good excuse, wouldn't it?" Gary replied with a laugh. He felt sure about his own thoughts on the relationship with his girlfriend but Andrew's reaction made him worry about his relationship with his best friend. Would furthering things with Anna really affect his relationships with his other friends? "Seriously though, what do you think?

Andrew sighed and shook his head. "I think you're insane," he said, running his hand through his hair again, obviously agitated. At Gary's silence, he continued. "You've only been dating for a few months. I don't care how long you've known each other, that's not long enough."

"What is long enough?" Gary asked. He was annoyed by Andrew's response but he was genuinely curious about what those close to him thought about it.

"More than six months." Another shake of the head and Andrew stood, stalking across the room to pick up the guitar that was on his bed. "I know you're probably feeling pretty good from screwing her – hell, after this weekend, you two deserve to feel good – but really, Gary, was the sex _that_ good?"

"It's not all about the sex, Andrew," Gary shot back bitterly. "You know me better than that."

Andrew was quiet for a few minutes, playing his guitar while glaring at the wall across from him. He was clearly thinking things over and if Gary had been looking at him, he would have noticed the emotions playing across his face. "I think you're rushing things," he finally said after a long while. Gary glanced up at him curiously while he set the guitar back down on his bed and sat down next to it. "It's just that you were in the same boat as Rachael less than a year ago. Even if things really are great with Anna and you really are getting a lot better than you ever have been in the time that I've known you, any amount of happiness is going to feel amazing compared to where you were a year ago, or even six months ago. The last thing I want is to see you ask her to marry you and Anna say no, or say yes and then take it back awhile later after she thinks about it some more."

"I wasn't going to ask her tonight and marry her tomorrow morning," Gary pointed out. "I didn't even mean sometime soon, necessarily, just in general."

"How many people have you talked to about this?"

"No one," Gary replied honestly. "It's come up jokingly with Alex once or twice before but this is the first time I've brought it up with anyone. I guess it's just been on my mind I figured I would see what other people thought of it before I dwelled on it any longer."

Andrew was quiet for another moment as he allowed the new information to sink in. Finally, he nodded and crossed the room to sit next to Gary again. "Honestly, man, I love Anna. She's awesome and she's fucking great with you. You two make the best couple. I just… would need some time to get my head around the idea of you two getting married, or even getting engaged."

"Approve or disapprove?" Gary pressed.

A small sigh. "Approve," Andrew finally said.

"Good. You're not going to tell anyone about this, are you?"

At that moment, Alex appeared in the doorway and announced that dinner was ready. Andrew grinned mischievously and turned to Alex. "Hey, Alex, Gary's thinking of marrying Anna. What do you think?"

Gary blushed and rubbed his temples. "Traitor," he muttered, ignoring Andrew's laugh.

Alex sighed and closed his eyes for a minute. "I think it's a decision not to be made on an empty stomach," he finally said, opening his eyes and gesturing towards the stairs.

The two teens laughed at the response and stood to follow Alex back downstairs to join everyone else for dinner. Gary couldn't resist slapping Andrew in the back of the head as the taller boy walked ahead of him, a move that earned him a punch to the arm. Once in the doorway, Alex hit both of them in the back of the head and sent them down the stairs before heading down the hall to fetch Tracey.


	72. Chapter 72: Dreaming

**Beyond The Walls**

There was a time where I thought this chapter would be a speedy update… Alas, that idea was total bullshit. As always, sorry for the delay.

I apologize for any typos I may have missed. There may be more than normal considering parts of this chapter were written on car rides and other parts _may_ have just a bit of an alcoholic influence on them ;). What can I say? It's the holiday season (or at least, it _was_ at the time)!

Thanks to my lovely reviewers!

Chapter 72: Dreaming

The house was so quiet that it may as well have been empty outside of Andrew's bedroom. Of course, it was just as packed as usual – more so with Bella, Michelle, and Alex spending the night. It seemed that everyone was completely wiped out from the weekend and then the night's enormous dinner considering everyone was in bed and it was only eleven at night. Andrew was laughing at something Gary had said, which had made sense in his head but sleepiness had made it come out wrong and now Gary couldn't even remember what he had been trying to say in the first place. Finally Gary gave into Andrew's laughter and broke into his own laughter.

When their laughter died, Gary sighed softly and moved closer to Andrew so that his head was resting on the other boy's shoulder. "I feel like we're back in Pastoria," he admitted. They were both lying on Andrew's bed, the room lit only by the spider lights that hung over the bed, Andrew wearing his typical dragon adorned pajama pants and Gary wearing gym shorts. It was reminiscent of the times in Sinnoh when they would lie in bed together at night, just hanging out for hours. Of course, back then, it usually led to sexual circumstances, but then again, they had been technically dating so it was somewhat excusable.

Andrew grinned and slipped an arm around Gary's shoulders, tugging his hair playfully. "Do you miss those days?" he asked casually.

"Only the fun parts," Gary replied.

"Like me sucking your dick?" Andrew teased.

Gary laughed in response and reached over to squeeze Andrew's thigh in retaliation. "Don't bother sugarcoating it, Andrew! Let's just be completely honest with each other."

"While we're on the topic of honesty… Do you miss my blow-"

"Andrew!" Gary cut him with an elbow to the ribs and another laugh. "Are we really going to have this conversation?" Andrew nodded and Gary sighed at the answer. "Yeah, I guess I do," he admitted after a moment.

"Faggot."

"You're one to talk, asshole!"

Andrew pulled Gary's hair again as a response, only to receive an elbow to the stomach. Within a moment, both were rolling on the bed, wrestling with each other until Gary suddenly yelped in pain. Andrew quickly pulled away with a concerned look on his face. "I didn't think I hit you that hard."

"You didn't, it's my arm – the muscle keeps spasming today. It hurts like hell…"

Andrew looked down at Gary's arm, examining the vibrant scars left from the Arbok attack nearly three weeks earlier. "I thought it was healing better than that."

"It's healing fine," Gary replied. "It just does this sometimes. Still hurts to play guitar too much, too," he added as an afterthought. "That's one thing I don't miss about Pastoria: always having healing cuts on my arms."

"That's pretty understandable," Andrew agreed, releasing Gary's arm. "I'm glad you haven't been doing that lately."

"It's been getting easier. I doubt I've even thought about it for the past month until this weekend."

"It's been a rough weekend… It's even getting to Tracey."

"Well, in Tracey's defense, he's usually the one to help everyone out. Maybe this time he could use some help of his own. Everyone has their breaking point, you know," Gary pointed out reasonably.

"Yeah, I guess so," Andrew sighed. "I feel kinda bad then. He's been there for me this weekend when I've been… yeah…"

"Yeah? Is that the new term for worried?"

"Shut up, Gary."

"That's a yes," Gary teased. He playfully poked Andrew in the side, brushing Andrew's hand away when he tried to punch him in return before turning serious. "You're still thinking about July, aren't you? And yourself, right?" he added quickly. The last thing he wanted to do was make it sound like he felt the only suicide attempt ever had been his own.

Andrew flopped backwards onto the bed with a groan. "It's not just that. I've been around the group in Pastoria a lot longer than you so I've been around more suicide attempts than you realize – Charlotte, Missy, Jon, Ben… It's what happens when we all have fucked up families."

Gary was silent for a moment, startled by the list that Andrew had suddenly spouted off to him. "I knew about Charlotte," he finally said. "I didn't realize there were more."

"Yeah. Missy tried to slit her wrists after her dad died but her mom caught and stopped her, Jon purposely overdosed when his father kicked him out of the house and actually died but Damien got him breathing again until the ambulance got there, and Ben got really drunk and tried to throw himself into traffic after his grandfather died."

Gary shook his head, suddenly feeling even more tired than he had all evening. "Well, if anything could have made me more depressed, that's it… Jon seriously died?"

Andrew closed his eyes but not before Gary caught a glimpse of tears in them. "I was away in Hoenn when it happened, doing my internship for school with Professor Birch. Sometimes I wonder, if I had been there, would –"

"God, Andrew, don't think about things like that!" Gary interrupted, shoving Andrew's shoulder before wrapping his warms around him in a hug. "You're such a good friend, there's no reason to think that you're somehow responsible for someone else trying to kill themselves."

"I wish I could believe that," Andrew muttered as he squirmed out of Gary's hug.

"It's a choice, Andrew," Gary said firmly. "A suicide attempt is a _choice_, it's not someone else's fault. The only person who's at fault is the person who does it." Despite his efforts at reassuring his friend, Andrew still looked doubtful. "You know it as well as I do, Andrew! We both made that choice out of desperation and you know it – so do they!"

Andrew stood up from the bed and walked to the couch that was across the room. He dropped gracelessly onto the cushions and crossed his arms across his chest. With the way the couch was positioned, Gary couldn't see his face but knew purely from his body language that he was particularly upset. The blonde boy could lecture him all he wanted about talking to people when something was bothering him, but the truth of the matter was that Andrew would withdraw when something major was on his mind. He would withdraw and then had a tendency to lash out at other people when they tried to talk to him. It was how most of Gary and Andrew's more serious fights had started.

No wonder Tracey seemed so stressed and upset. Gary and most of the other people in the house knew how Andrew could be when he got this way. Those that didn't know how he could be weren't really close enough to try talking to him – other than Tracey, Gary realized.

Gary left Andrew alone to stew in his thoughts for a few minutes as he slumped back against the pillows of the bed. It would take some time, but Andrew would come around. Gary closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths to calm down a bit from their exchange before Andrew had gotten up. He suddenly realized how exhausted he was and forced himself to open his eyes again to avoid falling asleep. The laughter and play fighting had given him a touch of adrenaline and trying to reassure Andrew had given him even more of it. Now that it was fading, he felt ready to pass out from sheer exhaustion.

After a few moments of trying to stay awake, Gary stood and walked over to the couch, gingerly placing a hand on Andrew's shoulder. Andrew's shoulder was shaking slightly and Gary sighed softly. He wasn't entirely sure what to do – he had only ever seen Andrew cry once and that had been when Gary moved back home to Pallet. Looking back on it, he could consider that their "breakup".

"Hey," he started awkwardly, unsure of what to say. Andrew turned his head away, making certain that Gary could not see any of his face. "I know you're upset, you don't have to put in the effort to hide it. It's not like I'm going to think any differently of you."

Though Andrew shook off his hand and continued to keep his head turned away, Gary was certain that he was at least listening. Gary fought not to roll his eyes as he walked around the couch and kneeled down on the floor in front of Andrew. With Gary sitting directly in front of him, there was no way for Andrew to hide his face without covering it.

"Andrew, come on, look at me." Andrew finally glanced over at him and Gary smiled at him faintly. "You're my best friend, I love you. I hate seeing you like this, especially now that I'm finally getting my shit together but you've been getting more and more stressed. It just seems unfair for us to switch places like this."

"It just sucks, you know… Things have been going well with Trace and all, then this whole thing with Rachael happened and now I can't get these things out of my head. I hate it and I feel bad now because I achieved the impossible and pissed Tracey off."

Gary's smile had faded a bit at Andrew's words but the last mention on Tracey brought it back. "It's not impossible to piss him off, I've done it before. Hell, I got in an argument with him once." Andrew looked doubtful and Gary rolled his eyes. "It was awhile after I had moved home. I was so wrapped up in my own world that I didn't really think about how I was treating anyone else. I kind of pushed him too far and that was the result."

Andrew looked down at his lap for a minute, his mind on his boyfriend and what Gary had just told him. "Do you think I pushed him over the edge?" he asked after a moment, wiping his face.

"I don't think it's you entirely," Gary replied. "You being you probably was the majority of it, in all honesty, but it's probably a combination of other things too."

"Do you think I should go talk to him?"

"If he's not asleep, that would be a good idea," Gary said, nodding. "If he's asleep, it might just piss him off even more, so you might want to be careful with that plan," he pointed out with a smile.

Andrew laughed softly and shook his head. "Thanks for pointing out the obvious."

"Someone has to."

For a moment, Andrew sat quietly, just thinking before finally glancing back up at Gary with a sigh. "Should I talk to him?" He asked again.

Gary rolled his eyes again and forced himself not to sigh as well. "You should do something other than keeping me awake any more tonight. I'm fucking exhausted."

Andrew laughed and pulled the dragon-patterned blanket off the back of the couch and threw it on top of Gary. "Go to sleep then, you whiney brat."

"Is that permission to sleep in here?" Gary asked, tugging the blanket off of his head.

"On the couch, if you want to," Andrew replied as he stood up and started heading towards the door. "You hog the covers and I'd like to actually be able to use them if I end up being stuck sleeping in my bed tonight."

"Ass," Gary called across the room. He laid down on the vacated couch with another roll of the eyes. "Night."

Andrew paused in the doorway for a moment before crossing the room again, stopping beside the couch. He kneeled down next to it and, much to Gary's surprise, pressed a kiss against his cheek. "I love you too," he said softly. "And I'm happy you're doing better lately. Good night."

… … …

Tracey was still awake when Andrew knocked quietly on his bedroom door and peeked in. He looked up from his desk and groaned softly when he saw Andrew. Returning his attention to the sketch in front of him, he avoided looking at his boyfriend as Andrew placed his hands on Tracey's shoulders from behind and kissed his cheek.

"I heard you and Gary," Tracey said quietly. "Sounded like you were having fun."

"We were," Andrew shrugged. "For a bit, at least. Things got serious though."

"That happens with you two a lot," Tracey replied coolly, dropping his pencil on the desktop.

Andrew nodded and moved his hands off Tracey's shoulders and leaned against the desk. "It does," he agreed. "It's not like us though, Tracey. I'm not about to run off with Gary and ditch you. You're my boyfriend, I care about you. Gary's also my best friend and I love him like a brother. Sometimes I get hung up in the past and I forget that we're not 'dating' anymore." He used his fingers to mime quotation marks as he mentioned dating Gary.

Tracey gazed up at Andrew for a moment and sighed. "Why is Gary so damn popular?" he asked suddenly. "Why is it that, out of all of the guys we know and we've met, we both get hung up on the same guy? Andrew, Gary's my friend too and I care about him but why him? Why not me? Why not Chris? Or Shawn, or Ash –"

"What do you mean, 'why not me?'" Andrew interrupted. "I'm not hung up on Gary, Tracey, not as a boyfriend. The two of us are in an unusual situation – our relationship ended up being a weird combination between boyfriend and best friend. It's taking a while for us to adjust to that and sometimes that's way easier said than done." He smiled and reached out to push Tracey's hair out of face, letting his fingers linger on his cheek for a minute. "I'm hung up on _you_, Trace. That's why I'm in here and not in there. I want to know what's bothering you. Tell me?"

Tracey shook his head slightly and picked up the pencil he had dropped, idly twirling it between his fingers. "I just get stressed out when so much happens at once," he said simply. He avoided Andrew's eyes when he said it so the blonde boy was certain that there was more to it than that.

"Most people do when the world turns to shit, especially when you're one of the people that everyone else goes to for support," Andrew said mildly.

The way he spoke indicated that he knew there was more going unsaid and Tracey was forcibly reminded that Andrew possessed many of the same traits he did as a pokemon watcher. At the top of that list of traits was the boy's ability to read body language. Tracey knew that he had given himself away by not meeting Andrew's eyes and he cursed himself mentally for doing so.

"I've told you before that I didn't exactly leave home on the best of terms," Tracey said after a moment. Andrew nodded for him to continue. "A lot of times, I can just pretend that everything that happened before I started traveling with Ash is from a different lifetime or happened to a different person or something. Something about helping other people when they need it helps me forget about it, I don't know exactly… It just makes me feel better. But sometimes, when there's just too much happening at once, it's too much negativity."

"I get the feeling that this was one of those times, huh?" Andrew asked, feeling a sense of sympathy for his boyfriend.

Tracey nodded. "As long as I feel like I'm helping other people, I can fight that negativity. But when it's too much, I can't."

"I'm sorry, Tracey," Andrew said softly. He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against Tracey's lips before pulling away and meeting his eyes guiltily. "I'm sorry if I pushed you over the edge. I sometimes – okay, always – have a hard time dealing with these sorts of situations."

"Well, in all fairness, between your experiences and what you went through with Gary over the summer, you have some pretty bad memories of these sort of situations. It happens."

At his words, Andrew couldn't help but smile sadly. The little bit that he had told Gary only minutes earlier about their other friends in Sinnoh and their own suicide attempts ran through his head. He contemplated for a moment of telling Tracey but decided against it. The poor boy was obviously dealing with enough on his own without Andrew piling on this extra amount of depressing information – and despite how much he was dealing with, here he was, still being as sweet as ever.

A rush of something went through Andrew, exhilarating and scary, a feeling that was rather foreign to him. He kneeled down in front of his boyfriend and rested his head against Tracey's lap. A smile curved his lips as Tracey's hands immediately began toying with his messy hair. Another rush went through Andrew: this one of appreciation.

"What's wrong?" Tracey asked softly, gently pushing Andrew's hair behind his ears.

Andrew shook his head and looked up at him. "Nothing," he said quietly. "I'm just thinking about you… and how great you are."

Tracey smiled faintly but glanced away. "I'm not that special, Andrew."

"You're full of shit, Trace," Andrew said, touching Tracey's cheek to redirect his attention to him. "You're fantastic. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"Andrew-"

"No, Tracey, listen to me, please," he interrupted softly."You are so sweet and caring; even when you've reached your breaking point and you snap, you're still such a good person." He took Tracey's hand and kissed it. "I love Gary like a brother, you know that. Hell, he _is_ my brother, I've never connected with someone like I've connected with him but, Trace, I feel something totally different with you. I mean it, I don't know what the hell I did to deserve you but I don't want to do anything to screw it up because I'm seriously falling for you."

Tracey froze at Andrew's words, suddenly speechless by his boyfriend's admission. "Andrew, please don't say things like that unless you mean them. I caught the last guy who said he loved with in bed with another guy."

"I'm not saying I love you or asking you to marry me, and you'll _never_ catch me with another guy… I don't think this is love, Tracey, but I think it can turn into it. I've never felt this way before. It scares me a bit, honestly."

Tracey sighed softly. "Andrew-"

"Just kiss me, damn it," Andrew interrupted, slipping his hand to the back of Tracey's neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

Their lips met and Andrew could feel Tracey melting against him, the tenseness in his muscles fading away as their lips moved together. Tracey gave a soft moan while Andrew's hands cupped his face and Andrew took the opportunity to slip his tongue into his mouth. Slowly, Tracey slid off the chair to sit on the floor with Andrew and Andrew's arms immediately wrapped around him, pulling him as close as possible.

As they pulled away from the kiss, Tracey buried his face against Andrew's shoulder. Andrew pressed a small kiss against his temple and slowly ran his hands up and down Tracey's arms soothingly.

"I mean it, Tracey; you're not going to catch me with anyone else. I care about you too much." Tracey pulled away to look at him and Andrew noticed that his eyes were moist. "What is it?"

Tracey shook his head and smiled slightly. "As gay as it sounds, I just really don't want to get my heart broken again. I've never really been the same since my last breakup."

Andrew smiled at this and kissed him again. "There's nothing gay about not wanting to be hurt," he pointed out. "No one wants that and I'm going to make sure I don't do that to you."

"I'll hold you to that," Tracey smiled and cuddled against Andrew while the other boy wrapped his arms around him again and leaned back against the leg of the desk behind him.

"I hope you do," Andrew murmured in his ear, eliciting a soft laugh.

… … …

He was dreaming: utterly amazing for the state of deep sleep he was in. Though Gary's body had shut down for the night, his mind ran rampant with memories, thoughts, and desires that jumbled into fevered dreams. In the end, the only thing that kept him from waking in cold sweat was sheer exhaustion.

_He was sitting at the piano in his bedroom, fingers dancing across the keys as a gentle smile curved his lips. Gary looked largely the same as he did now, but something was different. Something subtle. His hair in the dream was only a bit longer than it really currently was. He wore torn jeans and an Iced Earth shirt, barefoot with his hair loose and hanging down his back in an auburn sheet. It was almost exactly like he normally dressed these days._

_From behind him, a voice sounded. "It sounds good. Is this something for the band?"_

_Gary shook his head with a characteristic roll of the eyes. "Just practice," he replied without a glance at the person who had joined him. He didn't need to look to know who it was – he could recognize that voice anywhere, dreamland or elsewhere. He played a complex melody, purposely showing off._

"_Just improvisation then?" Gary nodded silently. "It really sounds phenomenal, you've gotten so good at playing."_

"_You're biased, Dad. Even if you weren't, I've been playing for fourteen years. You would think I would get decent at playing by then."_

_His father shrugged with a small smirk that was reminiscent of the teenager sitting in front of him. Frowning at a detail he had just noticed, he reached out and took one of Gary's hands. "Black nail polish? What, did Andrew get ahold of you again?"_

_As Gary shook him off amidst complaints, the subtle difference between the dream Gary and the real Gary suddenly became apparent as his forearm was brought to attention. The only scars that were there were the vivid streaks left from his arbok bite. There was no scar on his wrist that had been retraced countless times over the years. There was no mass of countless scars near his elbow from the time he and Andrew had gotten into a particularly bad fight. It was what his arm would look like if he had never cut himself. The other arm was a similar story – in place of the scar on his wrist, there was a simple tattoo of an infinity symbol. His father's wrist had always bore an identical tattoo as long as Gary could remember – both in the dream and in reality._

_Suddenly the tranquil dream cut to a terrible childhood memory, as though it were a horribly edited film. He was seven again, at Ash's house with the black-haired ball of energy and Kate. It was getting late and, in the back of his mind, he was wondering what had happened to make his father late in picking him up. _

"_Gary, Alex is here," Mrs. Ketchum's voice called up the stairs. Something sounded wrong in her voice and Gary felt a simultaneous rush of curiosity and dread._

_He headed down the stairs quickly and when he reached the living room, he found Delia Ketchum with her back to him and Alex staring blankly out the window. As soon as Alex looked at him, he knew something was wrong. At the time, Alex was nearly thirty and Gary had never seen him cry, yet his eyes were moist and red as though he had been doing exactly that. _

"_Dad was supposed to pick me up an hour ago," Gary said softly, something that was uncharacteristic at the time._

_Alex closed his eyes and seemed to take a moment to compose himself the best he could. "Gary, come here please." Even his voice sounded wrong. It was thick and Gary could tell it took a lot of effort to keep it from wavering much._

"_Alex, where's Dad?"_

_Alex kneeled down in front of him and pulled him closer. "Gary, your mom and dad went to Pewter City this afternoon… There was an accident on the way home…"_

_Gary felt his heart sink as dread filled him. His child mind, sharp as it was for his young age, refused to venture a guess as to what had happened. "Where are Mommy and Daddy?" he whispered, wide eyes filling with tears. Alex's voice wavered as he spoke and Gary knew that only something really bad could cause that. Suddenly, Alex reached out and pulled Gary against him in a tight hug, shaking and suddenly crying. _

_Realization flooded Gary and he collapsed against Alex, tears falling from his eyes and sobs tearing from his throat…_

"_Looking for something?" Gary drawled from the doorway of his room. He leaned against the doorframe, an amused smirk playing across his lips as his father jumped and looked at the youngest Oak. "I can't imagine what you would be looking for in my dresser drawer, but I imagine you could have asked me," Gary continued, casually looking down at his arm and running a finger over a tattoo that was new in this dream. Symbols that he recognized as the Nordic runes spelling out Anna's name were superimposed over a treble clef, positioned below the infinity symbol that had appeared in the last dream._

_His father closed the dresser drawer with a guilty look and crossed the room to sink onto the edge of Gary's bed. It was the same bed that was in his room right now, complete with the same black covers and red curtains. "Your mother and I are a little worried about you and Anna," he admitted._

_Gary rolled his eyes and stepped into the room with a muttered curse. "I haven't found an engagement ring yet, if that's what you're wondering," he said, leaning against one of the posts of his bed._

"_Probably the least of the concerns, honestly… We're a little more worried about your, ah, extra-curricular activities, if you catch my drift."_

"_For God's sake, Dad, I have a degree in biology – just say it!"_

"_Okay, your mom wants me to make sure you're still using condoms so you don't get her pregnant."_

_Gary sighed loudly and threw his hands in the air, stalking across the room to his desk where there was a bottle of water. He took an annoyed sip from the bottle before turning back to his father. "She's on birth control –"_

"_That's exactly how we ended up with your sister –"_

"_Dad, I don't need this! I was supposed to leave for Pastoria an hour ago; I'm going to be late for band practice and Tim's going to fucking kill me!"_

"_Then maybe you should live closer to the band."_

_Gary growled in frustration, he pulled the hair tie from his hair and threw it across the room. "I go to school in Viridian! Why are we even talking about this? Why did you decide to go snooping through all of my shit when you could have just asked about the sex business? What, do you think I'm not mature enough to be sleeping with my girlfriend?"_

_His father waited out the tirade and met Gary's eyes when he was done yelling. "You're mature enough. I just know you and Anna both have some things to work through and we don't think relying on birth control pills is very reliable right now, especially not after what just happened with Rachael."_

_And again, the strange modern dream world with the un-scarred Gary and his very-much-alive father changed into memories that he despised thoroughly. _

_He was seventeen again, standing in the middle of his room in Pastoria. The room was spinning as an effect of the alcohol. It was a miracle he was even standing in the first place. His roommates had gone to bed, something he should have been doing as well. It wasn't as if they had school the next day so he didn't see a reason in lying down just yet. The thought of school made him suddenly queasy and he sank down to the carpet with a groan. _

_He couldn't bear the thought of returning to school. It was too much to take… The sleepless nights, the studying, the endless classes, the reports… It was all too much. Why had he even chosen to go to the damn school in the first place? He should have only been just now getting ready for college; a seventeen-year-old had no business entering grad school._

_There was no way he could do it. He was too overwhelmed as it was; he had to get out of going to school somehow. _

_A thought occurred to him, clear as day, and seemed so easy in his drunken state. It's a little hard to be in school if you're dead, but how? He knew how deep he would have to cut in order to bleed out, but that would be painful, slow, and messy. He couldn't let his roommates find that mess. Then he remembered the pain medication in his dresser drawer. He had gotten it after he'd had surgery to remove his appendix only a few months earlier. The damn medicine had made him feel so sick that he had refused to take it. _

_Anything that could make you feel that sick could surely kill you. Especially when mixed with booze. _

_Gary tried to stand but the alcohol just wouldn't let him, so he crawled to the dresser so that he could pull himself up. He found the pills and grabbed the half empty vodka bottle that was on top of the dresser. It took a few minutes between swigs of the vodka and small amounts of the pills at a time, but he got them all down._

_He staggered to his bed, somehow making it there, where he collapsed into it and almost immediately began crying. How goddamn stupid was he? How fucking moronic was this stupid idea? He felt ill, the combined effects of the alcohol and medication making him nauseous, dizzy, and sleepy all at once. It reminded him of the first time he had ever gotten drunk (Anna's doing, of course) and May had fussed over him the next day, fearing that he was actually sick. Suddenly he missed his sister and best friend more than ever. He wished he could be home, where he could lay down with Anna and doze off with her in his arms, like they usually did when they were intoxicated. Hell, he wished May would wake them up by yelling at them for drinking and leaving the music room such a mess._

_And then he realized something he had overlooked: if he was dead, he couldn't see his sister and his favorite person in the world…_

_The dream changed again before he was forced to relive the memory of throwing up all of the pills and being found only half-conscious on the bathroom floor by Andrew. This time he looked exactly the same as he had tonight at dinner, straight down to his sloppily tied back hair and faded t-shirt, short sleeves revealing every last scar. He was wandering about in the woods of Pallet, as he often did when he had something on his mind._

_As he meandered through the trees he became aware of another set of footsteps walking along with him. He glanced to his side to see a red-haired woman walking close enough behind him for him see her in his peripheral vision. He couldn't help but smile as he shook his head slightly. "Following me?"_

_She smiled in return and nudged him in the ribs with her elbow. "What are mothers for?"_

_Gary glanced at her slyly. "Annoying their children, apparently."_

"_Oh, Gary," she playfully swatted his arm and pushed him, eliciting a laugh._

"_I'm pretty sure that counts as child abuse."_

"_You're eighteen: you're an adult now."_

"_Assault then."_

"_You've spent way too much time with Alex; he's worn off on you," she laughed. _

_They continued walking through the trees, occasionally pointing out different pokemon and animals, reciting their scientific names, like they had always done when he was a child. After some time, they reached the creek that ran through the woods and Gary stopped walking, hesitating slightly. This dream had a different feel from the others._

"_I'm sure you've had a lot on your mind lately," his mother spoke up. _

_Gary shook his head with a tiny sigh; she had always been able to tell when something was bothering him. "Yeah," he agreed. "It's just that a lot's been happening lately. Sometimes it's hard to wrap my head around it all."_

"_You've been through a lot in the past year. Between quitting school and moving home... That's more than enough to drive anyone crazy right there, baby, but July, dating Anna, fighting with Kate and Rachael, dealing with your cutting –"_

"_Can we avoid making a list of it?" Gary sighed._

_His mother nodded with a reassuring smile. "You know I'm proud of you, right?"_

_Gary crossed his arms over his chest and glanced over his mother's appearance; she looked exactly the same as she did when he was seven, as had his father in the other dreams. "Why do I get the idea that this isn't just a dream?" he asked slowly._

"_It's a dream, Gary, don't get too worked up over it. You know dreams are just your brain's way of processing what we think about and what we go through on a daily basis."_

"_You sound like Grandpa."_

"_That's because your grandfather tells you that every time you have an odd dream. He'll tell you again if you tell him about this; so will Alex, most likely," she shrugged casually, a fluid movement that was so much like something Gary would do that he had to laugh. Alex had always said that he was like his mother and having her image play in front of him reminded him of just how true Alex's words were._

"_This has to have some sort of purpose… You're going to tell me something that's supposed to help me out somehow," Gary said, sobering from his laugh quickly._

"_You always did catch on fast. Rachael being in the hospital bothers you: it's been on your mind since you heard about it, even if it was just in the back of your mind at some points. Right now what's important is to help out your friends and to make sure you don't undo everything you've done for yourself in the past few months. You've had a lot happen: you lost your father and I, you spent years cutting yourself, you tried to kill yourself… You have a lot of experiences –"_

"_And a lot of bad memories," Gary pointed out, earning himself a stern look._

"_Use the experiences to help out and then let the bad memories go. You've just relived the worst of them, right? You remember the pain and the misery; you don't need to dwell on it."_

_Gary sighed and uncrossed his arms, smiling sadly at his mother's image before speaking again. "Thank you, Mom." She returned the smile and pulled him into a hug, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek. "So," Gary began with a touch of good-natured sarcasm in his voice as they pulled away. "You have all the answers… What the hell do I do now?"_

_She grinned and laughed happily. "And you're supposed to be a genius," she replied sarcastically. "Live, Gary! Don't get caught up in it when times get rough; you've been through this much, you can get through anything now. Just remember to enjoy yourself, maybe do something different: you're still young, you know."_

_Her voice was fading, mixing with white noise from outside of the dream as the vision of the woods started to disappear as he began to wake up._

… … …


	73. Chapter 73: Thoughts and Cemeteries

**Beyond the Walls**

Two chapter update? Why not? This was actually supposed to be the second half of 72 but I figured it was way too long that way. I _will_ have another update soon, I promise. _Secrets Kept_ should also be updated fairly soon.

_Chapter 73: Thoughts and Cemeteries _

Andrew was singing loudly along to an Iced Earth song that was playing even louder on his stereo and Gary groaned softly as he slowly came around. It was obviously the next day and, judging by the amount of light in the room, it was most likely fairly late in the morning. His goofball of a friend came out of the bathroom, clad only in his red boxers and a pair of socks as he happily played air drums along to the song and practically danced his way into the closet, coming out a moment later in jeans and a t-shirt.

"I take it things went well with Tracey last night," Gary said sleepily, sitting up to watch as Andrew jumped, clearly not expecting Gary to be awake.

Blushing, Andrew stumbled a bit on the carpet as he made his way back to the bathroom. "Sorry for waking you up," he called. He reappeared a moment later with his hairbrush in hand. "I was just in a good mood."

_Obviously_, Gary thought to himself. "Yeah, well, I get the feeling I would have woken up on my own pretty soon anyway," he said with a shrug, thinking of the last bit of the dream he'd had.

Something must have shown on his face because Andrew frowned and stopped battling with his hair. "You must have had an interesting dream," he observed. Gary nodded vaguely, contemplating where the dream had even come from. "Was it about Rachael?"

Gary shook his head slowly. "No, not directly, but that's probably what caused it – " he shook his head suddenly. "Not important," he decided.

"You're confusing me," Andrew groaned, continuing brushing his hair. "At least it wasn't about you downing half a bottle of pain killers?"

"The bottle was almost full, Andrew, and that was in there but it wasn't the entire dream."

"Thanks for clarifying," Andrew replied sarcastically.

Gary was too deep in thought to reply so Andrew returned to the bathroom. "My parents were still alive," he spoke up after a few minutes of silence between them.

Andrew poked his head out of the bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth. "In your dream?" he asked. His voice was muffled from the foamy mess of toothpaste in his mouth. Gary nodded silently and Andrew retreated into the bathroom to spit out his mouthful of toothpaste. "I somehow get the idea that you wouldn't have even considered killing yourself if they hadn't died in the first place," he pointed out.

Gary shook his head, silently agreeing with the blonde boy. "It was pretty weird."

"I can imagine."

"It's just… been so long… It's just so weird to see them again, even in a dream."

Andrew nodded sympathetically. "I've had dreams where my parents were still together and not fucked up like they are now. It's always really weird. Not exactly the same thing, but I can kind of see where you're coming from." He watched Gary for a moment, trying to judge the state of mind he was in. It was obvious that Gary was still deep in thought, but his expression was not as serious as it usually was when he was analyzing something, which led Andrew to believe he was still trying to wrap his head around the dream. It was a good change from what Andrew had grown used to seeing in his friend.

He cautiously sat on the edge of the couch, half expecting Gary to snap at him to leave him alone. There was a point in time where he would have done exactly that. Instead, he smiled faintly and scooted closer to Andrew. "May's had dreams of them still being alive, but this is the first time I can remember ever having one… I've probably had them before but blocked out the memory."

"Possible… What happened in this dream?"

"It kept switching around. Some parts were as if they had never died and then other parts were memories. I was fucking around on piano- key changes, like I always used to do with Rachael."

Andrew shook his head with an amused snort. "Nerd."

Gary ignored him. "My dad was there, we were just talking… He was picking on me for having black nail polish," he held up his hand with a mild glare at Andrew. The blonde boy had all but pinned Gary down to paint his nails a few days earlier.

"Alex was making fun of you for it last night too," Andrew laughed.

"Alex is a lot like my dad," Gary said absently. "He's just more stubborn and less patient…" He smiled as his thoughts returned to the dream. "Dad was just watching me play; he used to always do that, he would watch me for hours if he could. May would get jealous and make him play Barbies with her." The memories lingered a moment and Andrew waited with uncharacteristic patience for him to return to talking about the dream. "I didn't have any scars," Gary said suddenly as he shook away the memories. "Well, the arbok ones were there, but none of the others. I had a tattoo instead."

Though Andrew didn't seem at all surprised by the lack of scars, he raised his eyebrows at the mention of a tattoo. "That goes nicely with your fear of needles," he said sarcastically, causing Gary to grin.

"Damien says they're more like pins than needles. Not that it makes much difference."

"What was the tattoo of?"Rather than replying, Gary stood and walked to Andrew's desk, picked up a black Sharpie, and drew the infinity symbol just below the thick scar on his left wrist. To his slight surprise, it didn't even touch any of his scars. Once he sat back down on the couch, Andrew examined the drawing with a small frown. "Why infinity?"

"My dad had the same tattoo."

"Oh," Andrew said simply. He accepted the response and moved on. "What else happened? You said something about July…"

Gary sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It switched between actual dreams and memories… It changed so suddenly: one minute, Dad's picking on me for black nail polish, the next, Alex is telling me my parents were in a car accident." He noticed Andrew's curious look and elaborated. "I was at Ash's house, Dad was supposed to pick me up, like always. He was never late, I knew something was wrong. Then Alex came to get me and I could tell he was upset." His voice faded off and he closed his eyes for a moment to allow the sudden emotion that washed over him to pass.

Andrew was quiet for a moment. "Alex was the one that told you?" Gary nodded and Andrew cursed softly. "That explains a lot…"

Gary ignored him and swallowed before continuing. "It went back to a dream after that… My dad was in my room. I was pissed because I was late leaving for Pastoria. I guess I was in a band with Tim." Andrew laughed suddenly at this and Gary glared at him for interrupting.

"Tim's only asked you to be in a band with him about six times," Andrew pointed out, still laughing despite the glare.

Gary rolled his eyes and ignored Andrew's latest comment. "Anyway, to give a rundown of this dream: parents worried about me having sex with Anna without condoms, Rachael was in the same situation she is now, and apparently I was going to school in Viridian. No idea where the hell the last part came from, but whatever. Then it changed back to a memory and that was the whole July bullshit."

"The pills?"

"Being too drunk to stand, yet somehow coherent enough to make a decision about whether or not I lived long enough to see the end of the summer. Fucking stupid."

Andrew flinched at the sudden bitterness and waited a moment for Gary to calm down before speaking. "You changed your mind and you took it back by puking it all up, Gary," he said firmly. "You can't change the fact that you did it in the first place, or that you lied to Alex and didn't tell everyone else about it for months, but at least you did something about it. Stop beating yourself up so much over it. Use it to help Rachael instead."

"And that brings me to the last part of the dream." Andrew said nothing about the sudden jump in topics and merely gestured for Gary to continue. "Probably the weirdest part of the dream, honestly," Gary said quietly.

Andrew shot him an imploring look; he knew Gary had just woken up from a strange dream that he was still wrapping his thoughts around, but he was genuinely curious. With yet another roll of the eyes, Gary described the last part to him. When he was finally done, Andrew leaned back against the couch with a thoughtful expression.

"That's actually really interesting," he declared after a few minutes of thinking. "You don't really talk much about your mom, it's kinda interesting, from my standpoint at least, for her to be the one to give advice like that, unless she was actually like that in real life?"

Gary nodded. "She always could come up with something to say. That's probably what I miss the most about her."

"Maybe that's why she was the one giving advice and not your father," Andrew suggested slowly, still maintaining his thoughtful expression. "Maybe the whole thing with Rachael is triggering some sort of want for her –"

"Don't psychoanalyze me," Gary sighed, cutting off Andrew's theory. He was forcibly reminded simultaneously of the boy's interest in psychology and his own hatred for it. If Andrew wanted to break down the details of the dream and use them to delve into Gary's psyche then he could do it in the silence of his own head. Gary had no interest in hearing it.

"Sorry," Andrew quickly apologized. "I forgot you hate that."

Just as Gary was about to reply, Alex poked his head in the room, effectively cutting the conversation short. "Andrew, Chris needs you in the lab – stay on the left side as you're going in and don't look at the examination table, Chelsea's doing a necropsy – Gary, your sister's upset, you should go talk to her."

Suddenly realizing just how tired he still was, Gary slumped against the back of the couch, not noticing how pale Andrew had suddenly gone at the mention of a necropsy.

"Thanks for the warning, Alex," Andrew groaned as he stood up. He hesitated for a split second before hugging Gary. "Don't dwell on it," he muttered as he pulled away with a regretful smile. "Time to help Chris with the damn snakes while I try not to pass out."

"Have fun with that," Gary muttered, closing his eyes as he leaned back again.

Alex smiled as Andrew passed him in the doorway. "I'll be down there in a bit," he assured the blonde teen. He waited until Andrew was out of earshot before looking back to Gary. "Don't dwell on what?"

"How did you even hear that?" Gary asked without opening his eyes.

Alex sighed loudly and rubbed his temples. "I guess it's not really any of my business, is it?" he resigned reluctantly.

Gary opened his eyes at the surprising response and scrutinized Alex from across the room. "Are you drunk?" he asked incredulously.

"No. I just haven't gotten much sleep the last few nights and I've been helping Chris finish everything. This week hasn't exactly been a vacation for me either, but, look, May could really use you right now. She hasn't been taking everything very well. I know you want to be there for the girls but she's always been there for you."

"I'm on it, Alex," Gary groaned, stifling a yawn. For the amount of sleep he had gotten, he felt remarkably unrested and it was starting to catch up with him now that the surprise of the dream had worn off. "I'm just trying to find the energy to get up."

"You and Andrew were up later than anyone else."

"I could have slept for a day and I would probably still feel this exhausted," Gary yawned, his exhaustion coming back to him. When he had woken, he had felt a strange rush of adrenaline fill him as the vision of his parents had filled him with happiness. Simultaneously, the memories of the two worst moments of his life had filled him a dreadful numbness. Talking to Andrew about the dream had erased both feelings and he now felt helpless, as though he were fighting back tears that couldn't even form because of his exhaustion. His mind seemed ready to shut down against the torrent of stimulation that had been bombarding him for the past few days. He sighed and put his face in his hands for a moment, trying his damnedest to muster the strength to get off the couch.

Alex frowned at the movement, easily recognizing the stress that the teen was clearly under. "Are you okay, Gary?" he asked in the worried tone that Gary had learned to associate with him.

Gary raised his head for a moment to peer up at him before putting his head back in his hands as he responded. "I don't know how much more I can take, Alex," he replied honestly. "I just want to be a kid again – I don't want to deal with all of this. I just want to curl up in the back of the Camaro and listen to you and Dad argue over stupid shit while Mom tells you that you're both idiots and May whines that she wants someone to play with her – is that too damn much to ask for?"

A weary sigh escaped Alex and he made his way into the bedroom. "Sadly, it is," he replied gently as he sank down on the couch next to Gary. He began to slide an arm across his shoulders before grimacing and removing his arm. "Cold sweat – do you feel alright?" he asked, resting the inside of his wrist against Gary's forehead.

"So tired," Gary muttered, pushing Alex's hand away.

"You feel really warm. I'll have to smack Andrew for waking you up, you need sleep. Go to bed and I'll take care of May." He gently pushed Gary to make him stand and frowned slightly when Gary hesitated.

Standing up and glancing down at Alex had triggered the memory of the man kneeling in front of him to tell him that his parents had died. Gary suddenly was more aware than ever of everything Alex had done for him in his lifetime and he felt ashamed for how little he had done to thank the man. After all, he had always been a second father, he had been the bearer of dreadful news, he had made every attempt to console a broken child despite his own misery over the deaths of his best friends, he had taken Gary in as a feisty teenager in Sinnoh, he had kept Gary's cutting habit secret at his desperate request, and here he was now, putting his own need for rest on hold because Gary was tired. Gary had never felt luckier to have Alex in his life than he did at that moment.

"Alex," Gary said softly, shaking his head to chase away the sleepiness. "_You_ go to bed, I'll take care of May. You need the sleep as much as I do." Alex opened his mouth to argue but Gary cut him off before he could get a word in. "How much have you done for me, Alex?" he asked bluntly. Alex was silenced and seemed taken aback for a moment. "You and May have both done more than enough for me, consider this my attempt to make up for it all."

Alex shook his head. "What's this about?" he asked softly.

Gary sank back down on the couch and took a deep breath, not entirely sure if he was ready to talk to Alex about this but pressing on anyway. "I dreamt about Mom and Dad last night – they were still alive and I hadn't cut myself or tried to kill myself. I dreamt about you telling me about the accident and I dreamt about the night when I tried to kill myself. It's not all about me… I know that now. I miss them like hell but I know I'm not the only one; if anything, I've made it all harder on everyone else because I'm apparently as dramatic as a spoiled five-year-old girl." Now that he had started talking, he found it difficult to stop. The words continued to tumble out of his mouth and he stopped trying to control them. It was time to let everything go. There was no need to carry around the baggage and the emotions anymore, and there was no need to keep them covered and tucked away behind the masks and walls he had built for himself over the years. "I'm sorry, Alex… I'm sorry you had to be the one to tell me, I'm sorry for all the misery I caused you and Grandpa and May when I couldn't cope with it, I'm sorry for being a stubborn pain in the ass, I'm sorry for never listening to anyone but myself." He wasn't entirely sure when he had started crying but he found tears running down his cheeks, completely beyond his control. Alex tried to interrupt but Gary continued, talking over him. "I'm sorry I made you keep my cutting a secret, I'm sorry I lied to you when I was in the hospital, I'm sorry I never told you I tried to kill myself, I'm sorry you had to find out from Grandpa –"

"Gary, how much can you possibly be sorry for?" Alex finally managed to cut in, placing a hand on Gary's back to draw him out of his thoughts.

"I don't know," Gary moaned, putting his face in his hands again, trembling as tears still fell. "I'm sorry for everything, Alex."

Though thoroughly surprised, Alex said nothing and slipped an arm about Gary's shoulders in a hug as he waited for him to recover. After a few minutes, Gary slowly stopped shaking and dried his cheeks, avoiding looking at Alex. "Feel better?" Alex asked quietly.

Gary nodded faintly before clearing his throat and replying with an unwavering, "yes."

"Good," Alex said softly.

He gently pressed his lips to Gary's temple in a reassuring kiss. It was the ultimate sign of acceptance to Gary and he could count the number of times Alex had shown that particular sign of affection. In the past few years, it had only happened a handful of times: when Alex had found out about his cutting, when he had been too sick to get out of bed in Sinnoh when he had developed appendicitis, when he had finally told Alex about what had happened during his suicide attempt, and when he had been sick with the effects of the arbok venom in the hospital.

"Thank you. For everything."

Alex chuckled and lightly tugged on Gary's hair. "Don't get ahead of yourself, kiddo; you still need to take care of May so I can catch up on sleep."

… … …

Freshly showered and changed into clean clothes, Gary took on the not-so-easy task of tracking down his sister in the mansion. Alex had said she was upset but had not given any clue to her location. Normally, she would hide out in her room, but a peek into the room in question said otherwise. A lengthy meander about the entire house without finding her had him ready to give up, go upstairs to his own bed, and pass out for the rest of the day. He knew however, that doing this was certain to piss Alex off. As a last resort, Gary went outside, sent Umbreon in one direction and Arcanine in the other, while setting off across the yard towards the woods. It was a complete whim, but if she wasn't in the house and her car was still in the garage, then there was a limited list of places she could be. The cemetery seemed a natural place to check, considering Gary knew his sister often visited there.

It occurred to Gary that this journey through the woods was vastly different from the first journey he had made back in December after his birthday party. Back then, the path had been barren, the trees bare in a winter gloom. Being early April, the tree branches were now covered in vibrant green leaves and wildflowers in sweet pastels peeked through the bright grassy carpet. The air was pleasantly warm and the glimpses Gary caught through the tree branches were of a pale sapphire sky dotted with fluffy clouds. Birds chirped all around and he could hear squirrels chattering in the trees, the sounds of the normal animals punctuated by the occasional scampering of a rattata or squawk from a spearow. The old path was distinctly pleasant: homey in the way that only the Pallet wilderness could manage.

The change from barren to lively, forlorn to animated, seemed to echo the change he had gone through in the past months and Gary could not help but smile a bit. He wasn't filled with dread at the thought of entering the little cemetery. The wrought iron gates of the cemetery came into view after a few moments of walking and Gary could see May beyond the fence, sitting before the twin gravestones. Another tiny smile curved his lips at the thought of no longer needing to search the damn house for his sister. The smile quickly faded when he realized that her position – shoulders somewhat hunched with her hair hanging to conceal her face – she was obviously crying.

The rose bushes flanking the gate were in full bloom and Gary unthinkingly grabbed one of the flowers, intending on giving it to May to cheer her up. One of the thorns pierced his palm and he yelped in pain as a spot of blood appeared. "Ouch! Fuck…" Gary wiped his hand on his jeans before glaring at the plant. "Well, screw you too," he declared, pushing the gate open as May gave a small, shaky giggle.

"They have thorns, you know. You can't just grab them," May spoke up softly as the gate clanged shut behind her brother.

"Oh, thorns? Really? I didn't notice," Gary quipped, sitting down in the grass near her. He noticed that she had placed a few roses at the base of the two gravestones. "I tried grabbing one for you," he said, gesturing to the flowers. "But the plant bit me before I could get it."

A smile appeared on May's face but it faded almost immediately after her reply. "Can you blame it?"

"Of course, I can. I just don't feel like doing it right now." Gary studied her face, something that was difficult with the way she was avoiding looking at him. The glimpses he did get were concerning: the dark shadows under her eyes, the redness in them, and of course, the tears. "What's up, May?" He quietly asked, absently picking at a dandelion growing in the grass in front of him.

May sighed, sounding rather put out. "It shouldn't be too hard for you to figure out," she said flatly. She raised her hand to wipe her face, hiding the movement by pushing her hair out of her face.

"I could guess," Gary admitted. He saw through her movement but did not comment on the tears. "Though, I'm not really in the mood for guessing games. You could just make it easy and tell me."

"You can't make things easy for me, can you?"

Gary groaned and yanked the dandelion out of the ground, examining it idly as he considered his response. "Few things are easy," he pointed out after a moment. "Some things are hard to say out loud to someone else but sometimes they need to be said. You know that I learned that the hard way."

May dropped her gaze to the ground in an attempt to avoid her brother's eyes. "You do know that better than most people," she agreed.

"So, are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

"Gary, it's the same damn thing that's bothering everyone else! We're all upset about Rachael."

Gary nodded but the grim smile that crossed his face was one that indicated he was about to disagree with her. "I would expect that… Except that you've been in a bad mood for the last few months. Something's been bothering you since before Rachel went and slit her wrists."

"You sound like you don't care about what she did," May said softly, frowning at the way he spoken about Rachael.

Gary bit back the harsh retort that came to mind before it could escape, choosing instead to fix his sister with an even glare. "What Rachael did bothers me as much as anyone else, May," he said sharply. "I feel terrible for her because I've been in a similar situation and can't imagine what she's going through. I had to tell her sister what happened, follow her over to the house when she didn't believe me, and then see her blood dried all over her bathroom floor. May, I'm sorry that I'm trying to block that memory out so I can hold it together as well as I am. Freaking out while I'm here and she's in Viridian won't help her or anyone else and will only make me want to –" He stopped suddenly as he noticed May's tears start again. With a sigh and an uttered curse, Gary tossed aside the dandelion that he had been playing with. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "I came out here to cheer you up and, instead, I'm just upsetting you more."

"You're not upsetting me," May shot back stubbornly, swiping the tears off her face. "I'm just… being stupid."

"'Being stupid,'" Gary echoed softly. "No, being stupid is bottling this all up until you end up hurting yourself to get it out – and I don't just mean by something like cutting. You're upset, that's all, and I don't think anyone can really blame you."

"Well, that's reassuring," May replied sarcastically. Gary had to force himself not to roll his eyes in response.

"It should be," he defended. "It means you're not screwed up like so many other people I know are."

"Including you?"

"Gee, thanks, May. Just what I needed to hear." This time Gary did roll his eyes but he smiled before continuing. "You're still sick of Pallet, aren't you?"

"Who wouldn't be, at this point?"

"Someone insane. Alex, maybe." May giggled at the joking response and Gary grinned, happy to have made her laugh. "Everyone leaves Pallet at some point, you know. Even if they come back eventually, everyone gets sick of this place. It's cool when you're a kid and it's not bad for a trainer or a researcher but there's not much else. Honestly, what's keeping you here?"

"I don't know," May moaned. She gestured helplessly to their surroundings.

Gary frowned, eyes narrowing slightly. "The graveyard is keeping you here? What, are ghosts going to haunt you if you leave?" May shot him a nasty look and Gary sighed. "I just keep putting my foot in my mouth today, don't I?"

"Yes, you do."

"This is what happens when I don't get enough sleep… So, what's the deal with the cemetery? Or is there more to it than that?"

May was quiet for a long moment, long enough that Gary briefly wondered whether she was going to actually answer him or just ignore him. She stood and extended her hand to help her brother up. Gary took her hand with a questioning look as he stood. "Let's go for a walk," May said quietly.

"You're confusing the hell out of me."

May shrugged and led Gary towards the cemetery gate. They walked silently for a few moments, Gary following May's lead away from the mansion and the yard surrounding it. "Honestly, Gary, are you able to go anywhere in Pallet without being reminded of Mom and Dad?" May asked after a short while that seemed far longer than it actually was.

"No," he answered quickly, not even needing to contemplate his answer. "But that's the case anywhere I go. Even traveling, living in Pastoria, being at Sayda Island… It doesn't matter: I always think about them. It's impossible not to." He thought for a moment, watching his sister and wondering where May was going this particular question. May glanced back towards the little cemetery with a longing gleam in her eye and, suddenly, the reason behind the question hit Gary and he wondered how he could have missed it. "Are you afraid that something will happen to the memories if you leave?" He asked softly.

Another moment of silence passed between them as May wandered through the woods, Gary a few steps behind her. "Not so much that," she replied finally. "I know the memories will always be there… It's just that, when I'm here, the memories are so strong, I can almost feel them here. It's like there's always a presence near me…" Gary stopped walking, staring worriedly at May and wondering if she had finally cracked and become just as crazy as he was sure he was. May stopped as well and smiled at the concerned look. "You think more concretely, I know you don't feel the same way and I know you don't understand," she said with a graceful shrug. "It sounds crazy but I think it's the only thing that's kept me sane with everything that's always gone on over the years."

Gary frowned but decided to go along with what she was saying. "Maybe, May, but why would that change if you went somewhere else? If you really feel like there's something with you, then why should you stop feeling that? And what's changed in the last few months if this is the only thing that's kept you sane? Excluding this past week, things have been getting progressively better around here. I don't mean to make this about me, so don't think I'm trying to do that, but I've been a lot happier lately and I know that's something you've always been bothered by so I would think that that would make you happier as well. Instead, you've been getting moodier and moodier. Not getting into my own beliefs, I'm skeptical because of that alone. I want you to be happy, May, I want you to have fun and do things that will make you happy and it seems like staying in Pallet – presence or not – is just making you more miserable."

May nodded slowly, taking in what he had said before speaking again. "If I go somewhere other than Pallet, I'll have to start over," she thought aloud. Gary nodded in agreement. "It might end with me being happier, but it could also end in me being even more miserable there than here."

"True," Gary agreed. "Or it could be a combination of the two, depending on circumstance. I loved being in Pastoria when I was around my friends and not drowning in self pity, but I was miserable when I was focused on school or when I missed you and Anna. The thing is, I could have changed a few things and been so much happier. If I had backed off of school for a bit, I would have saved myself a ton of pressure and pain. If things really went badly and you hated wherever you ended up, Pallet would still be here and you could always come back. It's not like a nuclear holocaust is going to wipe it off the face of the earth or zombies are going to overrun the place. If you ended up coming back, whether it was a month later or ten years later, at least you could then say you had tried something else. That could make all the difference in the world."

"I don't know… Honestly, I'm scared to do something different," May admitted.

"That's partially the point: you don't know. Things might be the same somewhere else, they might be better, they might be worse. Every city is different; just because you don't like Pallet doesn't mean you wouldn't like Pastoria, and if you hated Pastoria, that doesn't mean Cerulean would be exactly the same."

"What do you think I should do?"

"I think you should take the risk," Gary replied. He thought for a brief second and then smiled, finally throwing caution to the winds. "Because that's what I'm going to do."


End file.
